


Looking At Me

by Sokuly



Category: Korrasami - Fandom, Legend of Korra
Genre: Addiction, Alternate Universe-Modern, Angst, Drug Use, Emotional Abuse, Eventual Smut, F/F, Heavy Drinking, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Trigger warnings will be in notes at beginning of chapters, domestic abuse, self harm mentions, slow to medium burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-09 08:40:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 61
Words: 281,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27348292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sokuly/pseuds/Sokuly
Summary: Korra goes to a club and finds more than just a few drinks. All she wanted was to get drunk and forget her past for the rest of the night.Asami is a CEO who decided to dance at a club on Friday nights to let loose. She doesn’t sleep around or look for love at the club. Suddenly things change when she sees a broken girl sitting at the bar.Things get angsty and heavy at times. Smut will be involved. Korrasami is always endgame.
Relationships: Bolin/Opal, Flashback Korra/mako, Korra/Asami Sato, Korrasami, Kuvira/Baatar Jr
Comments: 1069
Kudos: 730





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I’ve written anything in years, but I needed to get this out of my head. It was meant to be a one shot song based fic, but my brain decided a whole story was going to happen. Rating is for future chapters.

Korra had just gotten to the club, realizing she hadn’t been to this one before. It was more high end than any others she had been to but she didn’t care, not after the day she had. 

She made her way to the door and paid her cover charge, thanking the bouncer. No need to take her poor mood out on some innocent guy doing his job.

After a few minutes of getting used to her surroundings, noting the exits just in case, she got to the bar and sat down on one of the stools. This was most definitely not her usual scene. 

The stools were comfortable, padded leather. Looking around, the lights were dimmed instead of the flashing lights at her normal drinking spot. The bar top was a solid wood, not even the slightest chip to be found. 

“Haven’t seen you here before. Would you like a rundown of the place?”

Korra spun around in her seat to face the voice that was talking to her. “Uh.. yeah, I haven’t been here before. Just thought I’d try a new place. Really I’m just here for some drinks. Long day”.

“By the looks of you, I can tell. I’m Kuvira and I’ll be your bartender for the night. Anything specific you want to drink or...?”

“Whatever you got to numb some of the pain. Name’s Korra. Only fair since you told me your name. You can just start a tab”.

Kuvira glanced over Korra and her appearance. Disheveled hair, dark jeans, fitted navy blue button down. She sighed softly and started to make a drink for her new guest. “I won’t pry, but part of the job description is to listen to all the sob stories that walk through here. So if you do want to talk.. I’ll at least be an ear to listen. Also, roll up your sleeves and pop those two top buttons. You’re looking a little stiff”.

Korra glanced down with a soft sigh. “Thanks,” she barely whispered. She did as the bartender suggested, only rolling her sleeves to just below her elbows. She took her phone out and set it on the bar, mindlessly scrolling through her social media. Suddenly a glass was placed next to her hand.

“So. Break up?”

“Huh? Oh.. no. It’s just.. I had a really bad accident that should have killed me a couple years ago. It’s.. nothing,” she sighed and took a long drink after stuffing her phone back into her pocket. 

“It sure doesn’t seem like nothing. Whatever it was, I can only guess it was traumatizing. Like I said, if you need an ear I’ll be here”. Kuvira lightly patted Korra’s hand. “I’m no stranger to.. inner battles.”

Korra watched as Kuvira went to serve another guest and rested her head in her hand. She did this every year since she was nearly killed. Get off work, get as drunk as she could handle, go home and sleep. She felt the knot forming in her throat and the tears slowly forming in her eyes. So she took another long drink to help swallow it back. She wasn’t going to do this here. Not in public. The tears can wait until she’s home. 

She was snapped out of her thoughts as the music suddenly changed and people started clapping. She looked up, confused, but clapped quietly as to not look out of place. 

And that’s when she saw her. Raven hair, long legs, ruby red lips, and those green eyes. She wore a tight fitted red dress with a slit to her mid thigh, finished off with black stilettos with red soles. ‘Oh shit,’ Korra thought. She was not looking for anything on any sort of romantic field tonight. She couldn’t. ‘It’s the drink. It’s gotta be this drink’. She down the rest of her drink and tapped on the bar, quietly telling Kuvira she wanted another, eyes never leaving the woman walking around the room.

“Seems like your mood has shifted into a much better place,” Kuvira said, smirk in her voice. She set Korra’s drink next to her hand. “Just know, she’s not drunk and she doesn’t sleep around. She wants a steady relationship”.

“Huh? Uh, what? I’m sorry. I’m, uh... I’m not here for that kind of thing. Just to drink my thoughts away and then I’ll be out of here. Wait. You said she doesn’t sleep around and wants something steady? You know her?”

Kuvira chuckled at Korra’s rambling. “She works here too, as a dancer if you couldn’t tell. Her name is Asami”.

Korra swallowed hard as she felt a blush creep up. Instead of going down that road with her bartender, she took a couple gulps of her new drink. Suddenly green eyes locked with her’s.

‘Fuck’. Korra felt like she got the wind knocked out of her. She could feel her pulse quicken as this woman started sauntering over to her.

Asami stopped in front of Korra with a smirk after noting the blush that had creeped up to the tan girl’s cheeks. 

{Did I catch your attention? You look like you lost your breath}

“I haven’t seen you here before. What brings you in?”

Korra felt Kuvira pat her on the shoulder before walking off to clean her bar area up a bit.

‘Say something. She asked you a question’.

“Uhhh. Drinks. Bad day”.

‘Smooth. Real smooth, Korra’.

The corner of Asami’s mouth twitched up. “I can fix that for you”. She stepped off to the side of Korra’s seat, leaning close to Korra’s ear. “If you want, that is”.

Korra gripped her glass tighter, her heart pounding in her ears. ‘This woman doesn’t want a booty call. She’s a dancer. This is her job’.

“I’m just here for drinks. Thanks though”.

‘Way to be a dick’.

Asami trailed her finger along Korra’s jaw. “Shame. I was hoping to at least get you to smile. Maybe you’ll change your mind by time I come back around.” And with a wink. She sauntered away. 

{when I circle the room, you an owl, you gon’ twist your head}

Korra took another drink, trying to ignore her sudden feelings for this stranger. She wasn’t paying any of the other patrons any mind. Suddenly their eyes locked again from across the room. Korra watched as she circled the room flawlessly and blatantly ignoring everyone else in the room. 

‘What does she want? She just met me. She’s beautiful. And then there’s me. Broken. Heh. She’s too far out of my league. This is just her job. I’m the new person in the room so obviously she’s gonna single me out’. 

Korra broke the eye contact long enough to pound back the rest of her drink and set the glass on the bar. She tried looking straight ahead but found her gaze looking for the green-eyed woman who was definitely going to be the death of her. 

Asami came back around the side of the bar and next to Korra again. “Well? Change your mind?” Asami asked, pulling herself up to sit on the edge of the bar.

Korra rolled her eyes. “Tables are for glasses, not asses.”

‘What the hell is wrong with you. Do you not want to see her ever again? Wait, what? Korra, no. She’s not going to want anything with you’.

Asami scoffed. “In case you forgot, I work here. And what if this is part of the routine, hm?”

“Then why me? There’s plenty of others here who would kill for your attention right now”.

“True. But what if I’m just.. drawn to you?”

It was Korra who scoffed this time. She pulled out some cash and placed it under her glass. “It’s only because I’m the fresh meat here. I’ll just go so you can give anyone else some attention”.

‘What’s with this attitude? Are you trying to get her to hate you? Maybe. I can’t be feeling like this for a stranger’.

{don’t come at me green with an attitude when my lips and my soles are red}

Korra got up, waved a slight goodbye to Kuvira and Asami. “This was cool and all, but I gotta go”. Suddenly she felt a hand on her wrist. As she spun around, she found herself back in the barstool with an almost hurt looking Asami directly in front of her. “Okay. I’ll give you a tip and then be on my way”.

As she was reaching for more cash to give to Asami, the other woman was suddenly over her and whispering in her ear, “I don’t want the tip. I want you to give me this dance. And then.. maybe we could grab lunch tomorrow?”

Korra could feel her hands shaking. “I.. uh...” she glanced around the room, noticing the eyes on them, “drink first?”

Asami motioned to Kuvira for a drink for Korra. “Don’t even think of paying for that. It’s on me,” Asami barely whispered before backing up.

{cause I’ve been here once or twice/never worry bout the eyes}

Korra took her drink from Kuvira and took a few deep drinks. “I thought you said she’s not interested in anyone here?!” She all but growled at her bartender.

Kuvira shrugged. “She’s not. But you’re the new one here. I’ve never seen her fall like this for anyone. You must have something special. Go on, finish that drink. Don’t keep her waiting”. And with a wink Kuvira walked off to entertain others at the bar.

Korra locked eyes with Asami again and decided to finish her drink in a couple more gulps. She set her glass down and stood up.

‘Well. Here goes... something?’

Asami winked and walked up to Korra and grabbed her by the waist, pulling her close for a dance.

Korra felt her face heat up. “Um. Uh.. I-I don’t know how.. how to dance?”

Asami smiled warmly at the girl now in her arms. She quickly adjusted their positions so she could lead the dance. “Don’t just stand there staring. At least try to move your feet.”

“R-right.” Suddenly Korra felt panic rising in her chest as she started moving with Asami in a dance, quickly looking around the room. 

Asami pulled her in closer. “Hey. They’re looking at me. Breathe. Let me lead this dance. Don’t fight against it. I got you”.

{they ain’t even looking at you, baby/they lookin at me}

Korra closed her eyes and let Asami lead her in their dance. She felt like she was flowing through the scene. Suddenly it felt like it was just them in the room and all she could smell was the woman guiding her and the alcohol on her own breath. Before she could regain her thoughts, the dance was done and everyone was clapping for them. 

Korra just blinked and was staring up at the green eyes still in front of her. “I-I really.. uh.. need to get going. I’m-I’m sorry.. for being an ass earlier. So uh.. goodnight.” She slipped from Asami’s arms, her fingers lingering in her hand a little too long and made her way to the exit. She stole one glance over her shoulder to see green eyes watching her go. 

As soon as she got a few buildings away from the club, she took off at a run. 

‘What are you doing, you idiot? Give her a dance, and say yes to lunch tomorrow. You should have just left. You don’t do this feelings thing anymore. Not after.. that so called relationship’.

She ducked just inside an alley and slowly sat down, back against the wall, breathing ragged. She noticed hot tears running down her cheeks.

‘I can’t do this again. Just one lunch. Then we’ll part ways. It’s the only option. I’ll apologize tomorrow’.

With a shaky sigh, she stood up and continued her walk home. 

A block away from her apartment, a car pulled up next to her and panic filled her body. She was about to start sprinting away when she heard a familiar voice.

“If I knew you lived this way, I would have offered to take you home”.

Korra spun around. “Well I’m only a block away now, I’ll be fine”. She knew her voice was shaking, but started back on her path home. She couldn’t be falling for someone so quick... again.

Asami had already parked her car on the side of the street and quickly chased Korra down. “Hey. I’m sorry if I startled you. Are... are we still okay for lunch tomorrow? I’d really like to... get to know you outside of a club”.

Korra stopped in her tracks, hand over her mouth and sunk down against a light pole. She couldn’t fight the tears any longer. She didn’t want Asami to see her like this, but everything hit her all at once. Asami quietly crouched next to her and pulled her into a gentle embrace. 

“How... how can you crouch.. like that in... those heels and dress?” Korra sniffled and wiped at her eyes.

“I guess practice. But that’s not important. Come on. Let me get you home,” Asami spoke softly, slowing getting Korra back to standing.

They walked the final few feet to Korra’s apartment in relative silence, the only sounds being Korra’s quiet sniffles and Asami’s heels on the concrete. “Well.. we’re here. So.. goodnight, Asami”.

She turned to unlock her door and step inside when she felt the familiar grasp of a hand on her wrist. She didn’t move but felt her shoulders slump.

“Korra.. please don’t drink more tonight. I know how Kuvira can get. Especially when someone comes in upset. She has a tendency to be... heavy handed with her pours”.

“I’ll be fine. Anyway.. thanks for the company”.

“Goodnight, Korra. Call me if you need.. anything.” And with that, Asami slipped a piece of paper into Korra’s hand and left her apartment.

Korra turned slightly, watching Asami head to her car. She let out a sigh and looked at the paper in her hand, a small smile playing at her lips. After getting inside and locking her door, Korra took out her phone and put Asami’s number into it.

-hey. It’s Korra. Wanted to send you a text before I passed out. Thanks again. For tonight-

She went to her bedroom and put her phone on the charger. With a sigh she got undressed and slid under the blanket.

‘What am I doing?’

It was her last thought before letting the alcohol take her off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami and Korra get lunch together. They both start having feelings. Korra deals with her mental trauma and Asami wants to help.

Korra woke to the faint morning light coming through the curtains of her room. She opened an eye, glancing at the time.

‘10:23. Asami never gave me a time for lunch... maybe a few more minutes of sleep’.

She rolled over, pulling the blanket over her head.

________________

Asami had already gotten up for the day a couple hours ago. She checked her phone while she was having a light breakfast. Her response to Korra the night before was still the last message.

-hey, Korra. I’m happy you actually texted me. I hope giving you my number wasn’t too much for you-

She sighed and locked her phone. 

‘She’s okay. She was drunk and went to bed. But... she was really upset most of the night. I really hope she’s okay. I can’t believe I asked her to lunch. What the hell, Asami? You don’t do this. But she’s.. different. I can tell’

Frustrated with her inner war over her feelings for Korra, she got up and headed to the shower. She left Korra a quick text for her plans for lunch.

-I hope you’re okay. If you’re still down for lunch, meet me at the diner on 34th Ave at 1:30. I hope to see you there-

__________

Korra was almost asleep when her phone went off, slightly startling her. With a groan she reached for her phone, just to make sure it wasn’t something urgent. She saw the notification and felt her pulse quicken slightly.

-new message: Asami-

She sat up and read the message quickly.

‘A diner? I thought she’d be the one for something more.. fancy? At least she’s not some prissy rich girl. Did you seriously think that of her before? No. She’s too nice for that’

Rubbing her temples, she got out of bed to go to the bathroom. After washing her hands she decided to text back.

-1:30 sounds good. See you then-

She looked herself in the face in the mirror. She couldn’t go to lunch looking like she got run over by a truck. With a sigh she stripped herself of her underwear and started a shower. 

As the water was heating up she glanced over her body, noting each scarred hole from the bullets and incision from the surgeries to save her life. She still couldn’t believe she survived the drive by. And the fact she was able to walk was a miracle in itself. With a shaky breath she stepped into the hot water. 

‘Maybe lunch won’t be so bad after all’.  
_____________

Asami had just finished putting her hair into her towel and noticed her phone blinking with a notification. A smile came to her face with hopes of who she thought it was. 

‘At least she’s okay. Don’t pry if she still seems upset. You know what happened last time. Do I text back? She said she’d be there. No. Don’t come off too desperate’.

She finished drying herself off, pulled on her robe, and headed to her closet. There wasn’t a need to dress too formal so she opted for a pair of dark skinny jeans, a simple white button down, and a pair of riding boots. 

Noting the time, she figured she had time to watch a bit of the news. She flipped the TV on and the first headline sent a chill through her body. 

The voice through the TV gave the rundown, “3 years after a high end robbery gone wrong, leaving 2 dead, one critically injured, and several wounded, police still don’t have answers.....”

She kept watching, but the words started becoming a haze. She remembered that day. It was one of the darkest days of this city. She couldn’t help but feel those people were targeted and it wasn’t some heist gone wrong.  
___________

Korra got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around herself. Deciding her room was too quiet, she turned on the radio to fill the silence while she got dressed. 

She pulled out a pair of simple dark wash jeans and fitted black t-shirt, listening to the guy on the radio go on about the weather. As she was pulling the shirt over her head, the voice caught her attention and she stopped dead in her tracks.

“It’s been 3 years to the day of the robbery gone wrong and the police still don’t have answers....”

Korra stood there, staring at the radio. She didn’t pay much mind to the dates anymore. She knew this particular date was coming up, just not today. Feeling the color drain from her face she let herself fall to the floor as a painful sob rocked her body. She let herself cry, the memory flooding her mind. Reaching for her phone, she had full intention of cancelling lunch with Asami, until she noticed the time along with a message from the other girl.

-I’m going to get us a seat saved. See you in a few-

Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, trembling.

‘You can’t afford to be completely alone today. Just go’.

-yeah.. See you in a few-

Korra pulled herself to her feet, turned the radio off, and made her way to the kitchen. Grabbing the bottle off the counter, she took a few drinks of the whiskey before pulling a pair of converse on. 

‘Maybe lunch could go very bad”.  
________

“Just you today, Miss Sato?”

“Actually, no. Someone else should be joining me today”.

“Booth as usual?”

Asami smiled at the host. “Of course. And a water to get me started”.

She was led to her table and took a seat facing the door. She pulled out her phone, noting it was already 1:30. Her water was brought to her and she took a drink.

-just noticed the time. Hope you’re okay-

Putting her phone down, Asami looked out the window. There was an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach. Her phone chimed, startling her.

-new message: Opal.  
Hope your date goes well! You know I’m going to want to hear about it-

‘If she even shows..’

-you got it-

The door opened and a familiar voice caught her attention. “Asami said she got us a table?”

“Of course! Right this way”.

Asami looked up to see Korra standing next to the table. She looked amazing, but something in her eyes was off. Worse than last night in the club.

“Sorry I’m late. Something... came up. I hope you weren’t waiting too long”.

“Not at all. Have a seat, please”.

Korra shifted her weight uncomfortably, glancing at the door. “I, uh... don’t want to be rude. Or even ask this of you,” she rubbed the back of her neck. “But can I sit.. facing the door? It’s just.. it’s a thing I have. You don’t have to”.

Asami tried to send a warm smile her way, standing. “It’s perfectly fine. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, especially since me asking you out was probably already uncomfortable for you.”

“Th-thanks. I appreciate it.” Her and Asami took their seats, just as the waiter came to the table.

“Good afternoon, ladies. I’m Kai and I’ll be taking care of you. Would you like a refill of your water, Miss Sato? And what would you like to drink?”

Asami gestured for Korra to go first. “I’ll just have a sweet tea, thanks”.

“I’ll take the refill when you come back. Thank you”.

As Kai walked off, Korra turned to Asami. “Hold up. You’re a Sato? Like. Future Industries Sato?”

Asami sighed. “Yes. My father owned the company. It’s a long story for another time”.

‘Well the cat’s out of the bag now...’

“Huh. My family has done business with you guys. Didn’t know the daughter of the company would bother dancing at clubs,” Korra said with a smirk.

“It’s.. just a side thing. Gets me out of the office on Friday nights”.

“So you’re still involved with the company?”

“I took it over from my dad, okay? I’m sure you heard what happened to him”.

Korra leaned back in her seat, hands up in front of her. “Hey. I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t know. You... you’re nothing like your father. You’re honest and kind and so many other things”.

‘Incredibly hot being right up there with the kindness. Wait. What?’

Feeling a blush creep to her cheeks, Asami desperately wanted to change the subject. “Enough about me. I want to get to know you. That’s why I wanted you to meet me here after all”.

“Right. Um. I’m from the Southern Tribe, my first year in the city was rough, got into some trouble, found my way into the MMA team here, got seriously... injured but that was a few years ago now. Not much else to know”.

Asami let out a soft chuckle. “While it is nice to know all of that, I want to get to know you. Not... just about you”.

“W-what? Well.. uhh.. I don’t think-“

“Sorry to interrupt, ladies. The usual meal for you, Miss Sato?” Kai asked, setting Korra’s tea down.

“That would be great”.

“And for you?”

“I’ll just take... um.. the House Club. Thanks”.

“Perfect. I’ll get that right in for you two”.

Korra sighed as Kai walked off, then took a drink of her tea. “Listen, Asami, I don’t think you’d really want to get to know me like you think you do. I’m kinda a bit of a disaster. And today of all days.. I’m just not sure. There’s a lot going on and-“

“Korra. Hush. Today is a rough day for so many in this city. If you want to talk ab-“

“No!” Korra realized just how loud she had gotten as soon as the word left her mouth and looked down at the table. “Please.. Asami. No.. at least not here. I-I can’t”.

Asami placed her hand over Korra’s fist, softly rubbing her knuckles. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t aware of how close to you that.. day was”.

“You have no idea,” Korra managed before her voice broke. She cleared her throat and took a deep breath. “Uh.. listen. Can we get off this topic for now?” 

‘Preferably forever..’

Asami pulled her hand back. “Of course. Um.. tell me about where you’re from. The Southern Tribe”.

Korra looked up and met green eyes. A small smile crept to her face. “Well... to start it’s cold there. But everyone tries to be friendly to each other, it’s like a huge extended family. Maybe that’s only because I’m the chief’s daughter...”

‘Ohhhh I’ve said too much. Damn it, Korra’.

“The chief’s daughter, huh?” There was a playful tone in Asami’s voice. “Sounds like we both inherited something big”.

Korra let out an airy laugh. “Something like that, I guess”.

Their food came and they both ate in mostly silence. Asami couldn’t take her eyes off the blue ones in front of her, though there was something brewing deep within them.

‘She’s so broken down. Holding so many secrets.. something is slowly eating her alive...’

“So... what do you do when you’re not being a big CEO and dancer?” The voice pulled her out of her thoughts of worry for the girl.

“Oh.. nothing too crazy. I tinker with things in my workshop. Cars, motorcycles, things like that”.

“And you’re a mechanic? Man, you’re pretty perfect...ly rounded. I mean.. so many pieces of who you are. Not just one thing you’re focused on. It’s admirable...”

‘Okay you can shut up now. You’re just rambling’.

Asami let out a soft laugh, covering her face with a hand to try to cover the blush that most definitely reached her cheeks. ‘Oh, she’s adorable when she gets flustered and rambles on. Woah. Slow down. This could easily be a last date with this wonderful woman. But you don’t know that. Ughhh’.

“I doubt it’s rare to find someone with other interests outside of one thing. Like yourself?”

“Me? Nah. I work out and fight. That’s about it”.

Asami leaned forward, arms resting on the table. “You and I both know there’s more to you than that”.

Kai had quietly placed the check on the table and walked off. Both girls reached for it, Korra’s hand landing on Asami’s. 

“Let me. I asked you for the date. It’s the least I can do”.

“I mean.. We can split it?”

“Absolutely not,” Asami said with a wink and pulled her hand with the check from under Korra’s. She took out her card and gave it to Kai as he passed by.

Korra pulled her phone out just after she felt it vibrate.

-new message: Dad  
Hey sweetie. Your mom and I wanted to make sure you’re doing okay today. You can always call if you need someone to talk to. Love ya, kid-

She let out a soft sigh and had a soft smile.

-thanks, dad. I’m okay. Trying to not think of it. Love you guys-

“Already have another date lined up?”

Korra whipped her head up to meet green eyes. “What?! No! It was just my dad. He just wanted to check on me today. He gets worried sometimes, ya know? Living so far away...”

Asami let out a laugh as Kai brought her card back with a receipt. “I’m just kidding. Come on, let’s get going”.

The two walked out of the diner and started down the street in silence. Korra opened her mouth as if she was going to say something but decided against it, instead stuffing her hands in her pockets. Asami dared a glance over to the girl by her side.

‘There’s something weighing on her mind. If she looked rough last night.. she’s going through it today. No.. don’t ask. She doesn’t want prodded. Remember the way she snapped at the diner.. but it’s also not like you to not comfort someone who is clearly hurting. Ughhhh. Why is this so hard?’

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Korra looked up from watching the ground move under her feet. “Maybe I should be asking you that. You seemed pretty zoned out yourself”.

“I’m just... you seem more upset than you did last night in the club and I’m just a little worried about you is all”.

Korra stopped walking and grabbed Asami by the hand, making her stop too. “Listen. I can explain at another time. Today is just... not easy. I know it’s not easy for anyone, but it’s especially bad for me, okay? I know you’re concerned and want to help. Maybe I’m beyond help at this point. I don’t know,” she squeezed Asami’s hand. “Asami.. today. Lunch. It was great. I didn’t go to that club looking for anything other than to get drunk. But.. I have feelings for you,” she looked up into Asami’s eyes after she felt Asami squeeze her hand back. “This was just a bad time for a date, okay?”

“Korra...”

“No. Let me finish. I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass the past two days. Well.. the past 24 hours. I want to do this again. I want to see you again. When I’m not drowning in my own head. Asami? Hey.. don’t cry..” she reached up to wipe the tear that had slipped from Asami’s eye. “I’m going to go home, okay? Text me. Or call if you want,” she pulled Asami into a tight embrace. “I really, really want to see you again. Soon. Be safe. Have a good rest of your day, Asami”. She pulled back and started to turn to head home when Asami grabbed her by the shoulder.

“Please... Korra,” she wiped another tear that had slipped. “Let me take you home this time. And for the record... I don’t think you’re beyond help”. She pulled Korra into another tight hug, as if to hold Korra together. 

Korra let out a shaky breath, but hugged Asami back. ‘She cares. Can’t imagine why, but she does. Might as well accept the ride. Better than walking and risking... things’.

“Yeah.. I’ll let you take me home”. 

Asami led her to her car a short distance away. They both got in and Asami turned the car on. “Thank you. For letting me do this”. She pulled out of the parking spot and headed towards Korra’s apartment. She looked over to see Korra absently staring out the passenger window, silent tears running down her cheeks.

‘Who hurt her like this..? More so, what hurt her this bad? Should I leave her alone for the rest of the day? I guess I’ll ask when I get her home.. the worst she says is no’.

With a sigh, she reached over and touched Korra’s hand, slowly intertwining their fingers together. Korra never moved, except to give a half hearted squeeze to the hand in her’s. After a few more minutes, Asami pulled into a parking spot in front of Korra’s apartment. 

“Hey.. do you want me to stay and keep you company?”

Korra wiped her eyes and with a wavering voice said, “no.. I’ll be okay. I’ll probably just... sleep”.

“It’s only just after 3. Are you sure?”

“Y-yeah,” she took a breath to steady herself. “I’ll be okay. I’ll, uh.. text you”. She leaned over the center counsel to give Asami a hug. “Thank you. Again. I do want to see you again soon”.

Asami watched as Korra got out of the car and went to her apartment. “Please be safe,” she whispered to Korra’s form slipping through the apartment door. With a deep sigh she made her way home.  
___________

Korra was barely able to close and lock the door before she started letting the sobs rock her body. She slumped against the door, head in her hands.

‘Are you really going to be okay? Yes. Who are you lying to? Pretty much everyone and myself. Why did I tell her to go? So she doesn’t see how much of a broken mess I am. Why couldn’t I just tell her the truth about today? I don’t want her to pity me’. 

And other broken sob broke through her mouth. “At least.. she didn’t say no to seeing me again...” she got her breathing under control and pulled herself to her feet. Letting her feet lead her, she found herself in the kitchen grabbing the whiskey bottle. She sat at the dining table and opened the bottle. “Happy anniversary to almost dying,” she toasted to the empty room and drank from the bottle.

-new message: Asami  
If you need me, please call. We can plan our next date whenever you want-

-new message: Dad  
Be safe sweetheart. Remember to eat and drink water. A hot bath could help too. Take care of yourself today-

-new message: Kya  
Just wanted to check on you-

-new message: Mako  
You probably don’t want to hear from me.. but I hope you’re well. You should talk to Bo-

Korra snorted at the last notification. “Oh fuck off. Not like you did anything anyhow...” she tossed her phone to the middle of the table, not bothering to respond to anyone, and took a few more drinks from the bottle.

__________

-Hey Opal. Can you come over?-

-of course! Are you okay? Is this a code Wine or code Tequila?-

-if you’re bringing wine, I won’t complain. Just come over-

-be there soon, hun-

Asami set her phone on the coffee table and rubbed the tears out of her eyes. ‘Why am I even crying right now? She wants to see you again. She never rejected you. She just wanted to be alone to deal with herself. But I’m just so worried about her. But we just met. How is it possible to feel like this for someone you just met?’

She tossed her hair up into a loose, messy bun and went to change into more comfortable clothes to lounge in. Just as she finished pulling a slightly oversized shirt on, a knock came from the front door. She wiped her eyes one last time before going to answer the door.

“Hi, Opal. Thanks for coming over”.

Opal walked through the door and wrapped her friend in a hug. “Of course. Was it that bad?”

“No.. it went well,” and with that, Asami let herself cry on her friend’s shoulder. “I’m just... I’m so worried about her, Opal. She’s hurting. Bad. Ugh! Listen to me... we just met and this was one date and I’m already feeling like... this?!”

Opal was rubbing Asami’s back, trying to comfort her friend. “Let’s back up real quick. I mean, I’ve known forever that you’re bi, but you never mentioned your date was a woman. That’s amazing news, honestly. And about time,” she let a bit of humor in her voice before returning to a more somber tone. “If she’s hurting as bad as you say she is, and still wanted to see you, I’d say that’s a good thing. As for your feelings for her? I’d say you’re already crazy for her”.

Asami pulled back, wiping her eyes before rolling them at her friend. “I don’t fall for people like this. Ever.” She jokingly gave Opal a shove. “But if you say so, I’m not going to argue. Now.. wine?”

Opal too the bottle out of the bag she had set down. “Like I’d ever forget. Sit. I’ll get the glasses”.

Asami sat back down on the couch while Opal went to the kitchen to open the bottle and get glasses.

-Don’t do anything stupid tonight. I do care about you. A lot more than I thought I would for someone I just met. You better call me if you need to-

_____________

Korra looked at the new message that popped up. A tear slid down her cheek. “Can’t promise anyone anything,” she whispered to herself as she opened another bottle of whiskey and took a deep drink. She stumbled to her room, tossing her phone to her nightstand and sitting on the edge of the bed. 

The tears came hot and fast as phantom gunfire rang through her ears. Pressing the bottle to her head, telling herself it wasn’t real wasn’t getting anywhere, so she took a few gulps of the whiskey. She looked at the time. 6:48. ‘Should hopefully be blackout drunk by midnight..’ Picking up her phone, she scrolled through the contacts until her thumb hovered above a name. ‘Don’t do it, Korra..’

-Tahno. You still sell?-

“You fucking idiot...”

-Korra? You still have my number? I thought you quit-

“.... shit”.

-I did. I can’t deal right now. It’s bad. I have $100 cash. Shit better not be laced-

-it’s not. Must be bad for you to turn to coke again. I’ll be there in 10-

-knock twice-

She took a long drink before standing and getting the cash out of her wallet and heading to the door to wait. “What am I doing...?”  
___________

-are you sure you’re okay? Haven’t heard from you since lunch-

Asami finished her glass of wine and put her face in her hands. “Opal.. I have such a bad feeling. And not the kind where I’m afraid she’s ghosting me”.

Opal pulled Asami into her arms. “Call Kuvira. You know she’s great and finding out anything about anyone. I don’t like seeing you like this”.

-kuv, when you get this give me a call. It’s about the girl from the club. Easier to explain outside of texting-

She rested her head on Opal’s shoulder. “It’s been 6 hours. Complete silence”.  
____________

Two knocks came and Korra swung the door open. 

“You look like hell”.

Korra shoved the cash into Tahno’s chest and took the baggie from him. “I bet I feel worse than I look. You can leave now”. She pushed him out of the apartment, closed and locked the door, and looked at the baggie in her hand that wasn’t clinging to the bottle of whiskey. ‘What the fuck am I doing’.

Before heading to the bathroom, she set the bottle and baggie on the dining table. She looked herself in the face, eyes following the fresh tear running down her face, then slammed her fist into the counter before turning around, grabbing her phone and returning to the kitchen. 

-4 new messages: Asami-

-new message: Bo  
Opal went to hang out with her friend. Wanna get together for a late dinner?-

Sighing, she dumped some of the coke onto the table and started forming lines. 

-new message: Bo  
Hey.. you okay? You don’t usually take 2 hours to respond-

She looked at the time. 8:52. Rolling her eyes she leaned over and took her first line. Sitting back in the chair, she brought the bottle to her lips then picked up her phone. Through the haze she was barely able to make out Asami’s name in her contacts.

-I’m sorry-

-Korra? What’s going on? Are you okay?-

-come over-

-I’ll be there in about 10 minutes-

-Ok. In dining room-

She let the phone slip out of her hand and onto the table. ‘Oh, I fucked up. Real bad’.

Taking a final drink, she set the bottle on the table and let her head rest next to it, closing her eyes. ‘You really did it this time’.

__________

Asami nearly ran up to Korra’s door and knocked. No answer. So she tried the handle and sure enough it was locked. Groaning in a mix of frustration and fear, she pounded on the door with more force. 

“For fuck’s sake, Korra..”

She went to the window and pushed up, relieved it was unlocked. Crawling through, she could faintly smell alcohol. ‘How much did you drink? It’s not even 10 yet..’ she turned, closed the window, and started towards the only light on in the apartment.

“Korra? I’m here. Your door was locked and you weren’t answering so I got in through the window. Korra?”

That’s when she saw Korra slumped over the dining table, nearly empty bottle of whiskey in a limp hand. “Korra!” She ran over and then noticed the baggie of white powder. ‘What... no...’ Before fear could take hold, she quickly found Korra’s pulse and sighed a breath of relief. Her phone ringing made her jump.

“Kuvira? It’s a bigger problem than I thought. Just stay with your phone.” She hung up before Kuvira could get a word out. 

“And now what to do with you..” Moving to pick Korra up, she noticed her starting to move. “Hey, I’m here now. Relax. I’m gonna help you get to bed”. 

“A-Asami?”

“Shhh. You’re okay. Let’s get you to bed”.

“I’m so s-sorry...”

Asami picked Korra up off the chair. “We can talk tomorrow,” she whispered, fighting her tears. After adjusting Korra in her arms, she started down the hall.

“Second door... left..,” Korra mumbled into Asami’s shoulder.

She took Korra’s direction and gently toed the door open, taking care to not bump into anything on her way to Korra’s bed. “Do you want to change into any other clothes?”

Korra simply shook her head so she placed her into bed and drug the trash can to beside the bed just in case. She pulled the blanket up to Korra’s chest and brushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “I think we’re going to have to talk tomorrow”.

Korra nodded weakly. “I really am s-sorry ‘Sami...”

“Get some sleep, Korra”.

“D-Don’t go.. stay. Please,” her voice broke.

Asami sighed quietly. “I wasn’t going to leave. I’m going to sleep on the couch”.

“What? No.. please. Sleep here. With me?”

She looked over Korra’s intoxicated form. ‘Maybe it’s for the best anyhow’. She gave a small, mostly forced smile. “Sure. Just.. no puking on me. That’s what the trash can is for”.

Korra gave her a weak thumbs up before sinking into the bed, passing out. 

Asami kicked off her shoes and crawled under the blanket. She let the tears fall silently as she checked her phone.

-new message: Opal  
Is she okay? Are YOU okay?-

-I will be. She’s wasted though. I’m staying the night with her. Just in case. She’s in a pretty rough state-

-if you need me, you know what to do. Be safe. You’re amazing-

She wiped the tears out of her eyes and settled in closer to Korra. Running her fingers through Korra’s hair she whispered, “I’m right here. We’ll figure this out”.

‘It’ll take some time, but I’m not running from you’. She closed her eyes and let a light sleep take her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More broken Korra (sorry y’all. She’ll get better), Asami tries to help Korra cope after she tells the truth about what happened, Mako comes in and doesn’t help matters. He’s abusive towards Korra.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get into the attempt on Korra’s life, and things get heavy. Some domestic abuse. More drug use and alcohol abuse. I promise Korra gets better, but it’ll take some time.

Asami snapped awake for what felt like the hundredth time. She barely slept, constantly making sure Korra was still breathing. This time wasn’t any different. She felt for the slight rise and fall of Korra’s ribs. Brushing some of Korra’s hair out of her face, she gave a soft kiss to her forehead before getting up and going to the kitchen. She looked around and noticed several empty liquor bottles.

‘I know this isn’t all from last night, but I didn’t even know how bad this is..’

Sitting at the table, she looked at the white line Korra didn’t get to. “How long has this been going on?” She put her face in her hands.

___________

Korra stirred awake, cursing the sunlight through the window. Pulling the blanket over her head she grabbed her phone.

-new message: Tahno  
Still alive?-

‘What the fuck? What even happened last night?’

Groaning, she pulled herself into a sitting position and grabbed the trash can to vomit a couple times. She set the can back on the floor and put her head in her hands, she noticed she was shaking.

‘Oh this is definitely not good’.

Deciding to piece together the night, she looked through the texts she sent. She felt her blood run cold as she read through the short conversation with Tahno. A tear ran down her face as she went through her conversation with Asami. 

“I really, really fucked this up..”

-sorry about last night. I was really drunk-

She wiped her eyes and forced herself to get up and go to the kitchen. Her body moved of its own accord, going through the motions as she grabbed a bottle of rum out of the cabinet. As soon as she opened the bottle she heard a familiar voice.

“At least you’re alive. Korra, we need to talk”.

“A-Asami? What are you doing here?” She took a drink, holding back a gag. This hangover was brutal.

“Spirits, Korra! Rum in the morning? Whiskey at night? What do you drink during the day? Vodka?” She stood and walked up to Korra, snatching the bottle from her hand. She could feel her anger coming to a boil. “How bad is this? I want to help you, but you can’t hide... this from me. This isn’t just some weekend night bullshit, is it?!”

Korra stared the woman in front of her down, her own hurt and anger rising. “You wouldn’t understand. This is how I cope! You try almost being killed and then being told you’ll probably never walk again when you do survive! You try being scared to walk down the street sober when all you can hear are gunshots playing over and over in your head”. She grabbed the bottle back from Asami. “I’m not doing this with you right now”.

Asami grabbed Korra by the arm as she turned to walk away. “Yes. We are doing this right now”. Her voice was starting to break. “Care to explain the coke? Really, Korra? Drugs too?” Her grip tightened on Korra’s arm. “Are you trying to kill yourself?”

Korra tensed. “I told you you didn’t want to get to know me like you think you do. I told you I’m beyond help. Do you believe me now?!” She spun to face Asami. “I think it’s best if you leave. Now”.

Asami pulled the bottle from Korra’s hand and slammed it down on the table. “I’m not going anywhere until we talk. Until I know you’re not going to get blackout drunk before noon or overdose as soon as I leave”. 

Rubbing at her temples, fighting the tears, Korra whispered, “just go. You don’t want to hear this”. She finally sat down, head in her hands. “I don’t want your pity”.

“I do want to hear this. I want to help you because I care, Korra”. She folded her arms. “If not me, talk to someone. Anyone”.

Korra sighed, reaching for the bottle. Instead of grabbing it, she let her hand fall to the table. “Sit. It’s a long story. I’ll start by saying... it was me. 3 years ago. I was the critically injured in that supposed robbery gone wrong. I was the one who almost made the death toll 3”.

Asami felt as if she was kicked in the gut and sat down in the chair next to Korra. “I... I had no idea. I’m so sorry. They never put your name in any of the news”.

A dark smirk fell to Korra’s lips. “And what if they had? Would you even look at me the same?”

“Of... course I would. Korra-“

She raised her hand to Asami. “You wanted to hear this. So let me talk. 3 years ago....”

~~~~~  
Korra stopped in front of the jewelry, pulling back on Mako’s hand. “Come on. Let’s go look”.

“Are you trying to hint at something? Cause it’s not subtle. And, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I could ever afford anything in there”.

She scoffed. “You should know my Tribe’s customs are way different than yours by now. Besides.. I don’t think I’m ready for that”.

“I.. oh.. okay”. Mako let her pull him into the store. He looked around at the other people, obviously very well off. They made it seem like any other store in the city. “Are you... sure you want to be in here. I feel like we could breathe wrong and get sued”.

“What? A girl can’t look around?” She went to a case that was full of loose diamonds.

Mako looked around as the door suddenly swung open and two people stormed in, guns drawn. He felt his stomach drop as he rushed to Korra’s side. 

“Nobody moves, or this place is gonna rain lead. Give us all the loose diamonds,” some woman with a weird tattoo on her forehead barked. 

The bald guy with a scar stepped forward. “We don’t want any trouble with the cops. Just do as you’re told and we all walk out of here”. He started moving towards the case where Korra and Mako were standing. “Go on. Step aside”.

Mako grabbed Korra and rushed her off to the side. “Listen. I love you, okay”.

“Don’t. Don’t you dare. You’re off work today. Don’t try to be the big hero cop. You can report it when we get out of here”.

“Korra. Run!” He shoved her towards the door and tackled the bald man into the counter. “All of you, go!”

Korra faltered, looking back as she ran outside with the others. Suddenly she ran into the tattooed woman and tripped. She felt a hand grab her by the hair and pull her to her feet. “You’re going to regret this. After all, we’re here for you”.

Korra kicked the woman in the knee and threw her head back into her forehead. “I don’t know who you are, or what you want from me but-“ suddenly she felt searing pain in her side after a loud bang. 

‘There’s no way..’

She looked over in the direction of the store, seeing the bald guy with Mako by the shirt in one hand, gun pointed at her with the other. He smirked, “they said dead or alive”. He let a few more rounds pop off and Korra covered her head.

“Korra! Get out of here! Run-“ Mako felt the butt of a gun smash into the back of his head and saw Korra stand to run just as his vision faded to black.

Korra got up, pressing her hand to her side and tried to run. She only made a few steps when she felt a bullet slam into her back and something break. As she fell to the ground, a car pulled up and she felt more rounds pierce her body. The gunshots suddenly stopped as she heard sirens quickly approaching. She watched as the car pulled away, another woman yelling for the other two to get in. 

Pain tore through her body as she tried to push herself up. Her arms gave out and her head made contact with the sidewalk again. She could feel the blood starting to pool around her body. 

‘This... this can’t be how it ends...’

“This one’s still breathing! We have to get her out of here, like, yesterday, people! Let’s go!”

Korra faintly felt her body being lifted and set on something stiff. She tried to look around but her eyes couldn’t focus so she closed them.

“Come on. Stay with us”.

The last thing she remembered was the sound of a faint siren before darkness overtook her.  
~~~~~~

Asami could help but stare at Korra, hand clamped over her mouth.

“And.. that’s how I was almost killed,” Korra’s voice shook. “Yes, I told the cops I was targeted. They wouldn’t hear it because the other two were killed by stray gunfire”.

Asami dropped her hand into her lap. “But.. you said Mako was a cop. He was there! Why didn’t he back you? They could have killed him, but blatantly went after you”.

“Because Mako... just wanted to advance in the force. There was a lot I found out about him and our relationship in the year or so I was starting to recover. Lying, cheating, abusive bastard”. Korra took a breath. “My road to recovery-“

“Doesn’t need to be a conversation for right now,” Asami sighed. “I know this,” she gestured to the rest of the coke and rum, “won’t be a quick or easy fix. It’s going to take a lot of work, Korra. I just ask that you please try”.

“I can at least give you that. But.. what about.. this?” She pointed between the two of them. “I know it was only one date. But I meant what I said. I want to take you on another. I... want the chance. But if I blew it.. I understand”. Korra looked at the floor, waiting for another thing to blow up in her face. There was an agonizing pause between them before she felt Asami’s hand under her chin, gently making her look up.

“You’re not just some girl from the bar. I’ll accept another date. Just as long as you promise to get away from... this. Yes, I’m upset with you. Not exactly for what you’re doing, just for not telling me”. She brushed away a tear that had slipped from Korra’s eye. “I know it’s not exactly something you tell someone on a first date, but damn it all, seeing you the way you were last night scared me. I never left your side. Are you going to be okay if I go home for a little while?”

Korra nodded slowly, not trusting her voice. 

“Okay. I’ll text you soon”. She pulled Korra into a tight embrace. As she turned to leave, Korra’s voice came, shaky.

“I’m.. I’m really sorry. But.. you’re not going to do anything with.. any of this?”

“I trust you to do the right thing. If, and I’m hoping it’s a big if and you just flush that shit, you do use.. don’t do too much”. Before Korra could see the tears about to fall she turned and left.

‘Did I really just enable her? If she’s going to use, she’s just going to get more anyhow. This is a big decision she has to make for herself’.

-Opal, meet me at my place. I need to talk-

-that doesn’t sound good. Give me a half hour. Bo is pretty torn up about a friend. Said she never answered and he’s worried-

-if needed he can join you. See you soon-

Asami got to her car and started her drive home. 

_________

Korra was still sitting at the table, shifting her gaze between the rum and bag of coke. Sighing, she grabbed the bottle and took a long drink. The hangover was mostly gone, a deep feeling of guilt taking its place. She looked at the leftover line from last night.

‘All she said was try. So I’ll start trying.. after this’.

As she sat back in her chair, there was a knock at her door. She quickly got to her feet to answer, thinking Asami had forgotten something. After opening the door, her stomach dropped.

“Korra. Good to see you’re alive. Bo is super worried about you, said you never texted him back last night”.

“What the actual fuck are you doing here, Mako,” she spat back. “Leave. I’ll text Bo”. Wiping her nose, she went to slam the door in his face when his hand stopped it from closing and he stepped inside. 

“You’re still doing this shit?!” He was the one to slam the door closed behind him. “You said you quit. Good to know you’re still a drunk junkie. Actually, stay away from my brother. I’ll tell him you’re fine”.

Korra took a step back. “Get the fuck out of my home”. She could feel the panic rising in her chest, and the drugs weren’t helping this time. “Just please go”.

He jabbed a finger at her face, “get your shit figured out. And soon. I’m not turning you in this time. But this is it. And I meant what I said about Bo. He doesn’t need you of all people in his life”. 

Something in her snapped and she pushed Mako back into the door. “You don’t get to dictate who I’m friends with. The same goes for your brother. Just. Leave”.

Mako grabbed her by the wrists and shoved her away. “I was just leaving”. He spun and left, slamming the door behind him. 

Korra grabbed the rum and sank to the floor, taking a couple drinks. 

‘I’m gonna have to tell her’

_________

Asami pulled up to her house and noticed another car already there.

‘Kuvira? What on earth..’

As she got out of her car, Kuvira came running up to her. 

“What was with that text and then answering the phone and not letting me get a word in? Did she hurt you?”

“What? No. Just.. if she ever comes to the club again, don’t heavy pour her anything. Please”.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re already going soft on her. You guys only had a single date”.

“Trust me on this. Did you want to come in?” 

“Nah. I just wanted to check on you. We’ll talk later. Looks like Opal is here for you now”. Kuvira got back into her car and left.

Sighing, Asami want to the front door and unlocked it. She motioned to Opal to come in once she was parked and went inside.

-I’m home. If you need anything...-

-I might. Mako came by. Not doing great-

-do I need to come back?-

-no. I was actually going to ask if I could come to you this time-

-of course. I have another friend over if that’s okay-

-it’s fine. It’ll be like I’m not even there. Promise-

Asami rubbed her face and sent Korra her address. When she looked up, she saw Opal and Bolin walk through the door.

“Wow you look like hell. Did you even sleep last night? Is she okay?”

“Barely. She was.. bad last night. We had a bit of a fight earlier, but... I think we’re okay now. Also, she asked to come over. I hope you guys don’t mind”.

“Of course not! I could use a distraction. My brother told me about my friend and it’s not good”. Bolin ran his hand through his hair. “Besides. I’d like to get to know your hot date”.

Asami rolled her eyes. “She’s a little rough around the edges but I’m sure she’ll fit right in with our little band. Just be nice”.

“You still haven’t told me her name. When do we get to know that bit of info?”

“Her name’s K-“ she was cut short by a knock at the door. “Actually, that’s probably her now. Hold on”. Asami shot both Bolin and Opal a look. “Be. Nice.” And she opened the door.

“Korra?!”

Korra snapped her head up, looking over Asami’s shoulder. “Bo?!”

Asami glanced between the two. “You... know each other?”

“Yeah... we met at the MMA gym. Wait.. you know him?”

“Kinda hard not to when he’s dating your best friend. Come on in”.

Korra had a slight glare forming on her face, directed at Bolin.

“Uh. He’s.. not here. If that’s what you’re worried about”.

She released the breath she was holding and stepped into Asami’s house. Before she could make her way to a seat, Asami leaned in closer to whisper in her ear, “are you drunk?”. Korra nodded.

“I’m sorry ‘Sami. I’ll explain it later..”

“Hey, secrets are no fun!”

Asami turned to Opal. “Coming from the one who kept that birthday trip a secret for over a year. Besides. It’s not a secret. It’s.. personal”. She placed her hand on Korra’s lower back lightly to guide her to the couch. 

“No funny business, now. Hand holding is fine but keep the PDA to a min-“ Bolin narrowly dodged the pillow thrown at his head by Korra. “Hey!”

“It’s.. we’re.. ugh. We only had one date, Bo”.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Mako said you weren’t feeling to well. You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah. I’m... I’m good”. She let herself sink further into the couch as Asami placed her hand over hers. She tried following the conversation going on around but felt herself zoning out and into her past...

~~~~~  
Mako opened her bedroom slowly. “Hey.. I brought you your medicine and some soup. If you’re hungry”.

Korra looked over at her doorway. “Thanks. You can just set it down. I’m not really hungry right now.. but I’ll get to it when I am”.

He set the soup down on the nightstand and have Korra her pain medication. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do?” Sitting in the edge of the bed next to her, he grabbed her hand. “I’m sorry this happened to you. We’ll catch those people”.

Korra pulled her hand away. “This wouldn’t have happened if you had just listened to me for once. Just go”.

“Korra-“

“I said go!”

He stood up sighing. “We’re going to have to talk about this at some point, you know”. After giving her a quick kiss to the cheek he left, softly closing the door behind him.

Korra let the tears fall freely at the sound of the closing door and pulled her phone out.

-dad.. I want to come home-

-is everything okay? We can arrange something-

-please. Mako is only making this worse-

-I’ll text you the details of what you mom and I figure out. Try to get some rest. I love you-

-love you too. Thanks, dad- 

She laid herself back down and quietly cried herself to sleep.  
~~~~~

“Korra?”

Blinking a few times she noticed the others staring at her, waiting for an answer. 

“Um. I’m sorry. I was kinda lost in my head. What did you ask?”

Opal gave Asami a concerned look, but repeated herself. “I was asking about how you two met”.

“Oh. Um... I went to a club and she came out dancing. Wouldn’t leave me alone and eventually asked me out. She uh.. taught me how to kinda dance?”

“Only if I lead”. She gave Korra’s had a gentle squeeze.  
~~~~  
“Korra, you don’t have to do this”.

She gave a deep sigh. “Yes, Mako. I do. I deserve to see my family. And I need them more than I think you realize right now”.

“Can I at least come with you?” He placed a hand on her shoulder. 

She shrugged his hand off and rolled herself forward in her wheelchair. “No. Our doctor there is one of the best. She’s my best chance at this point. Goodbye, Mako”. And with that she rolled herself over to where her parents were waiting.

Mako gave a halfhearted wave to send Korra and her family off. Korra’s father didn’t wave back, just have a stern nod and wheeled his daughter to get on the plane.  
~~~~~

“It’s gotten late. Bo and I are gonna take off. You two have a good night”. 

Asami stood and gave her friend a hug. “It’s always good to see you. Both of you”.

“We should totally do this more. Especially since Korra is in the picture with you now,” Bolin said with a wink, wrapping Asami into a tight hug.

Korra stood slowly, mildly dazed and gave Bolin a loose hug. “Don’t... tell your brother you saw me. He doesn’t want us even talking anymore.”

“He can’t tell me what to do. One, I’m an adult. And two, he’s not my dad. But for your sanity, I won’t say a word. You best take good care of her, Asami”.

“Don’t worry. I will”. She closed the door behind the other couple then locked it before turning to Korra who had slumped back into the couch. “Do you want to talk?”

Korra nodded slowly. “I don’t want to.. but I need to. Mako put me through... a lot. I decided to go home to be with my parents for a bit, our doctor there is the one I owe everything to. She got me to walk again. But when I got back to the city.. after a few months, things got bad with him....”  
~~~~~  
“Korra? Are you coming down for dinner?”

“One sec!” 

Mako pinched the bridge of his nose. First the chief of police not taking his word for anything, and now his girlfriend being late for dinner... again.

Korra came down the stairs and gave Mako a quick kiss to the cheek before sitting down. “How was work?”

“Same as always. Chief doesn’t want to hear anything from me in terms of any leads for any case just because I’m not a detective yet”.

“She’s going to have to break sooner or later for you”.

“Maybe. You know.. this is the third time this week you’ve been late to dinner. What’s going on, Korra?”

Korra swallowed the bite of food she had taken. “I’ve just been working out more. I’m ready to get back in the ring, ya know. Everyone’s probably forgotten my name by now”.

Mako tried a warm smile, knowing it was clearly forced. “I doubt anyone would easily forget The Avatar. I just want to spend more time with you, but you’re always off training”.

She put down her fork. “And you’re always at work. Do I need to remind you, again, that this is my income. I’ve essentially been without a job for over a year and half,” she stood up. “And it’s thanks to you!”

Mako slammed his hands on the table. “I did what was best for everyone! Moving targets are harder to hit, especially when there’s a crowd!”

“You were off duty. And you trying to be the big time hero almost got me killed! Not to mention you keep missing one little piece that I was the target. Not those damn diamonds”. She grabbed her jacket and started for the door.

“Where do you think you’re going? We’re not finished”.

“I’m done, Mako. It’s the same damn thing over and over. You can’t admit you made a mistake and you won’t even have your girlfriend’s back when you know exactly what happened”.

“The chief won’t budge. What do you want me to do?”

Korra blinked back tears and took a deep breath. This was it. She was done. “You can start by telling me all about Ginger. Don’t play dumb. How long was that going on before I walked in on you two?”

“I thought you were past that. Don’t bring her into this”.

“Oh! So you’ll defend her, but not me?! Fuck you. I’m done. This is it. I’ll be back for my shit this weekend”. She put her hand on doorknob to leave when she was roughly pulled back.

“You’re not going anywhere. We’re not done talking”.

“Oh. I think we are. Don’t ever touch me again”. That’s when she felt a hot pain across her face. She touched her face in disbelief.

“Korra... I’m.. I’m so sorry. I didn’t..”

She pulled her hand back and looked at the small amount of blood on her fingers. “You did. And I’m done. Don’t come near me. Ever. Again”. Turning quickly, she ran out of the house and started down the street.  
~~~~~

“It wasn’t the first of the last time he put hands on me. But it was the first he drew blood. I met Tahno a few months later, on a particularly bad night. I bought from him and was on and off drugs for a long time”. She wiped her eyes. 

Asami pulled her into a tight hug. “That’s all over now”.

“It’s not over in my head. None of this is”. Korra rested her head on Asami’s shoulder. “I.. I don’t want to talk about this anymore tonight. I’m sorry”.

“No. Don’t be sorry. If this is all you can handle for now, that’s fine”. She ran her fingers through Korra’s hair. “I told you, this is all going to take time. Healing isn’t... overnight. Why don’t you stay here tonight?”

Korra closed her eyes and nodded into Asami’s shoulder. They stayed like that for a few minutes until Asami noticed Korra’s breathing slow as she fell asleep. 

“Korra.. hey. Come on. Let’s get to bed. Both of our backs will hate us in the morning if we sleep here”.

Korra blinked a couple times before letting Asami help her to her feet. She grabbed her hand and let Asami lead her to the bedroom. “I’m sure you have a guest bedroom or something.. I can sleep there. It’s not a problem”. She rubbed the back of her neck, exhaustion filling her voice. “It’s just.. we haven’t been in the same bed, both sober, and I don’t want this to be too much too soon. Are you su-“

Asami let out a soft laugh and sat on the edge of the bed. “Korra. Stop. I would have taken you to the guest room if I didn’t want you sleeping in the same room as me. I’d feel better if you did, if I’m being honest. Come here”. She gently took Korra’s hand and pulled her down next to her. “Just no funny business”. She gave a playful wink before laying down under the blanket, pulling it open for Korra to join.

Korra rolled her eyes. “As much as I’d love to, I’m not ready for that yet”. She crawled under the blanket with Asami as a blush crept to her cheeks realizing what she had just said. “Um.. goodnight, Asami”.

Asami wrapped her arm around Korra’s wait and pulled her close. “Goodnight, Korra. Hope you sleep well”.

‘Actually.. I think I really will tonight’. And for the first time in a long time, Korra fell asleep to a warmth that wasn’t from alcohol.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra tries to open up more, Asami helps Korra deal with withdrawal. More feelings come forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Korra is getting there, even if it’s slow. She’s not completely out of the woods yet.

She opened her eyes slowly, adjusting to the waking world when she noticed her arm was numb. Trying to move, she heard Korra softly groan. Asami blinked the last of the sleep away and became aware of the warm body pressed against her own, and a head on her chest. A small smile came to her face.

‘This isn’t how we fell asleep, but I’ll take it. The office shouldn’t need me there in person today...’ 

She let out a content sigh as she ran her fingers along Korra’s forearm, feeling the relaxed muscle under her skin. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind how strong the woman in her arms is. Asami tried moving her sleeping arm again and she felt Korra tighten her arm around her waist.

“Don’t go,” Korra mumbled into Asami’s neck. 

Forcing her pulse to stay steady at the warm breath on her neck, she gently rubbed Korra’s arm. “I’m not going anywhere yet,” she whispered into her hair. “I’m just trying to get my arm back. I can’t feel it”.

Korra wiggled closer with a tired sigh. “No.. back to sleep. Just a little longer?”

Asami wiggled her fingers, slowly regaining feeling from Korra moving. “A little longer is fine”.

“Mmmm you’re amazing,” Korra hummed as she relaxed and drifted back to sleep.

She let a smile come to her face as she closed her eyes. “You’re pretty amazing too,” Asami whispered to a sleeping Korra before dozing back off.  
________

Asami woke alone in bed and sat up. “Korra?” She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and noticed the bathroom door slightly cracked with the light on. After stretching her legs, she got up and knocked softly on the bathroom door. “Korra? Are you okay?”

Korra groaned from the other side of the door. “No.. feeling super sick.”

Opening the door slowly, she saw Korra curled up on the floor, exposed skin covered in sweat. With a sigh, she sat next to the other girl and started rubbing her back gently. “You’re going through withdrawal. You didn’t drink nearly as much as normal yesterday. And I’m going to guess the coke is out of your system by now.”

“Can I get a blanket? Please? I’m freezing”.

“Sure thing. I’ll be right back”.

As she walked out and cracked the door she heard Korra groan and vomit into the toilet, followed by a flush. With a sigh she went down to the kitchen and pulled out a glass. “We’re gonna have to ease you out of this,” she spoke to an empty room as she poured Korra a full glass of tequila. On her way back to the bathroom she grabbed a light blanket. 

Korra was sitting now, head on the edge of the toilet. She felt Asami drape a blanket over her shoulders. Looking up, she watched Asami sit next to her, holding a glass out to her.

“Let me guess.. water?”

“No. It’s.. Tequila. I’m going to ease you out of this, not throw you to the wolves. Don’t chug it down or you will puke your guts out.” 

She took the glass and took a sip. “Not sure how much of my guts I have left to puke up. Asami?”

“Hm?”

“You don’t have to do this.. deal with me and everything”. 

“I don’t have to, I want to. Don’t look at me like that. I’ve never thought you were some charity case to work on. I care about you.. and still have some feelings for you”. She knelt down next to Korra and brushed her thumb across her cheek. “I do want this to work. But... I need you to get better first. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be in the kitchen”. 

For the first time in a long time, Korra felt a genuine smile come to her face as she watched Asami get up and leave the bathroom.

‘I’ll make myself get better.. for you. For us’.  
_________

Asami leaned against the counter after starting some coffee.

-Kuv, can we talk? It’s about Korra. You’ve been through some of the same things she’s going through-

-what do you mean? If it’s what you’re implying, I’d get her to talk to Tenzin-

-as if she’s going to listen to me. Just come over. I have coffee-

-fine. I’ll be there in about 20-

She set her phone down and poured herself a cup of coffee and went to get the creamer out of the fridge. When she turned around she saw Korra walking into the kitchen, blanket around her shoulders and glass of tequila in her hand half gone.

“You’re looking a little better. Would you like some coffee?” She smiled warmly.

“Uh.. no thanks. I’m feeling a bit better though.” She took a drink. “I’ll probably just finish this and get out of your hair. You’ve done so much for me as it is”.

“Actually.. I was hoping you’d stay for a little bit longer. I have a... friend I’d like you to meet”.

Korra rubbed the back of her neck. “I guess I could stay for a little longer. I’m uh.. gonna lay on the couch. If that’s okay. Starting to feel a little sick again.. so.. yeah...” she turned, heading to the living room. After setting her glass on the table, she laid back on the couch, pulling the blanket tighter around herself. She pulled her phone out and looked at the screen.

-new message: Mako  
Stopped by but you weren’t home. Or if you were, you could be dead.-

-what would you care if I was? What part of leave me alone don’t you understand?-

-I’d rather not have to fill out that kind of report. So at least you’re alive this time. Did you pass out in an alley somewhere?-

-fuck off. I’m with a friend. I don’t owe you an explanation-

-better not be Bo. I’m serious.-

-fuck you-

She set her phone next to her on the couch and closed her eyes.

Asami walked in and set a plate of toast on the coffee table. “Korra? Are you asleep? I brought you some toast.. if you’re hungry”.

“No.. and I’m not all that hungry right now”. She felt Asami sit by her feet. “I do have a question though.. But I’m afraid of the answer you might give”.

“You can ask me anything”.

“You know Bo.. so.. you actually know Mako too, don’t you?”

Asami let out a sigh. “Yes. I do. We briefly dated years ago. Well before you two got together. Long story short, he’s not welcome around here. He hurt me too. Just not... physically. We haven’t spoke much since I left”.

Korra sat herself up. “I’m sorry you had to deal with him. I’m just real happy he never put his hands on you. I’d definitely have more of a reason to beat the shit out of him if he did that to you,” she grabbed her drink and rested her legs in Asami’s lap.

“You can’t just go beating up a cop, you know. Save that tension for the ring”.

“About that.. I still haven’t gone back. The drugs, ya know..”

“We’ll get you back to it”. She looked at her phone.

-I’m here-

-door’s unlocked. Just come in-

Kuvira came around the corner. “Looks like things are still going well for you two”.

Korra finished her drink and swung her legs off Asami’s lap. “We’re uh... taking things pretty slow. I have some stuff going on that could really get in the way of anything serious so... I guess we’re just friends?” She looked at Asami, hoping for help under Kuvira’s knowing look.

‘Friends don't just sleep together like we did last night. Who are you trying to fool? You definitely have some serious feelings for her’.

“I know you have some things going on. That’s why I’m here. I’ve been in your shoes. Alcohol to numb the pain, drugs when that doesn’t help, both on a particularly bad night.” She folded her arms and leaned against the wall. “It’s not easy, but it gets better. You have to put in the work to get out of the hole. I had to do it alone. I had to find the help. Asami and I... we’re not going to let you do this by yourself. Also, it takes an addict to know one”.

Korra closed her eyes as Asami put a hand on her knee. “I think I’m ready.. to try.”

“Take it slow for now. The withdrawal can drown you faster than you think. Asami can give you my number. I fully expect you to contact me if you feel yourself slipping. And if you need some professional help... I can direct you to the guy who got me through”. 

Korra just nodded slowly, looking at the floor. “Thank you, Kuv,” she heard Asami whisper from beside her. Asami have her knee a soft squeeze. “Are you tired?” She nodded again, laying back down on the couch.

“Okay. We’ll let you get some rest. If you need us.. we’ll be in the kitchen”. She gave Korra’s forehead a soft kiss and followed Kuvira to the kitchen.  
_________

Kuvira shot Asami a smirk. “Taking things slow, huh? Are you sure about that?”

Asami poured her a cup of coffee. “Yeah. We are. I want her to be sure about this, with a sober mind. I don’t want to get too... attached yet. What if she changes her mind when she’s sober? I don’t want that kind of heartbreak”.

She took her coffee from Asami and leaned back against the counter. “I don’t think she’ll change her mind, sober or not. Shouldn’t you be at work anyhow, Miss CEO?”

“One of the perks of owning the company,” she shot back with a smirk. “If they need anything, they’ll contact me”.

“So you decided to stay home with her even though nothing is serious?” She let out a chuckle. “Keep telling yourself that. You clearly got it bad for her”.  
~~~~~~~  
Korra slung her bag over her shoulder. Walking out of the warehouse, she ran into Tahno. 

“That definitely wasn’t the best fight you’ve had, but we’ll make it work”.

“I’m not supposed to be in illegal fights like this. I should be back in the legal ring, not doing this shit”.

He held up a bag of white powder. “You and I both know this right here is exactly why you’re not fighting legally”.

She snatched the bag from his hand. “Text me the next location and all the info. I gotta go.” Brushing my him, she walked off in the direction of her apartment.

“We’ll work out your next payment later,” he called after her, receiving a middle finger over her shoulder in response.  
_______

Korra walked into her apartment, set her things by the door, and sat at the table. “Where did I go wrong?” She muttered as she took a couple lines and pinching her nose closed. After standing and stretching, she grabbed some cash and headed to the bar.  
_______

Drunk and high, Korra found herself in an alley with a random woman from the bar. She pressed the girl’s back into the wall as she lifted her up to position her legs around her own hips. Biting the girl's neck, she could feel her desire rising. 

“Are you sure about this,” she whispered against her neck.

“Less talk, more fucking”.

With a low groan, she worked the girl’s shirt over head and started biting at her collarbone. She slipped the woman’s bra down to under her breasts. 

The woman started rolling her hips against Korra’s stomach, needing the friction. Not needing any more of a signal, Korra set the woman on top of a dumpster and pulled her pants and panties off in one motion. She pushed the knees of the stranger apart and unbuttoned her own pants before planting rough kisses and bites to the inside of her thighs. 

Hearing the stranger moan, she shoved her hand down her pants and slowly ran her tongue through the woman’s wet folds. She slowly teased her opening with her tongue and she slid a finger into herself, letting out a soft moan. 

The woman grabbed Korra’s head, digging her fingers into her scalp. “Inside,” she gasped. “Fuck me.”

Korra let out a sigh, moving her mouth to her clit and sucking softly as she pushed two fingers from her free hand into the woman. Using her other hand, she started rubbing at her own clit. She began pumping her fingers hard and fast into the woman, curling her fingers up every so often. 

“Oh... mmmm. Don’t fucking stop”.

“Go on. Cum,” Korra growled, hooking her fingers into the woman’s front wall roughly. Her own legs started to tremble as she was quickly reaching her own release. She sucked on the strangers clit, occasionally flicking her tongue over it.

Feeling the woman’s walls clamp around her fingers, she let herself go, moaning over the wetness in her mouth. She let go of her clit with a pop, standing and wiping her hands on her pants before securing the button again. Smirking, she looked at the stranger, still riding out her orgasm.

“Have a good night.” She turned and left the alley, leaving the random stranger to clean herself up. Wiping her chin, she started down the sidewalk towards her apartment.

Suddenly, the scene changed. She was back at the store, on the outside looking in. The bullet holes littering her body, the blood pooling around her, and her blank stare into nothing. The gunshots rang through her ears...  
~~~~~~

Korra jumped awake, breathing heavy and shaking. Not able to find her voice, she grabbed her phone.

-come back. Please. Nightmare-

Asami rushed into the living room and sat next to Korra, pulling her into a tight hug. “I’m here. That’s over now. You’re safe”. She tilted Korra’s head to meet her eyes. “Come on back to me, Korra”.

She blinked a couple times, green eyes finally coming into focus. Not even trying to fight the sob that escaped her lips, she buried her face into Asami’s neck.

Rubbing Korra’s back, she looked at Kuvira, silently telling her to go. Kuvira nodded and quietly let herself out. 

“Do you want to take a bath? It might help you relax”.

“S-sure”.

Asami helped her up and led her to the bathroom and started the bath. “If you need me, I’ll be in the bedroom”.

She grabbed Asami by the wrist. “Y-you can stay. If you want”.

Asami hid her face behind her hair to try to hide the blush that rushed to her face. “Are you... not feeling safe to be alone?”

Korra looked at the floor. “No.. but if it’s too much, you can go”. She dropped Asami’s hand and pulled her shirt and pants off.

“I’ll... I’ll stay. Let me know when I can turn back around”. After not getting a response, she slowly turned and caught sight of Korra’s bare back as she was sliding her boy-shorts off. She knew her eyes lingered a little too long, following the lines of her muscle. Blinking, she averted her gaze.

*******  
Asami’s wrapped her arms around Korra’s waist, kissing her deeply. She felt Korra gently push against her, urging her to the bed. 

Breaking the heavy kiss, she whispered against Korra’s neck, “are you sure?”

“More than sure”. She ran her hands down Asami’s sides, resting on her hips.

Asami slowly started working Korra’s top off, fingers feeling the skin and muscles underneath...  
*****

“Uhhhh... Asami? You okay?”

She cleared her throat. “Yeah. I’m good”.

“I said you can turn around now”.

Asami turned slowly, and sat next to the door. “Right. Sorry. I was just.. in my head”.

Korra closed her eyes. “Hopefully not as bad as me being in mine”.

“I’m going to take a safe guess and say you’re right”. She let herself watch Korra, so long as the other woman’s eyes stayed closed.

‘Now you’re just being creepy’.

“Do you want anything to drink? Water, coffee, tea, wine, tequila?”

Korra opened her eyes and looked over with a small smile teasing her lips. “I’ll have whatever you’re having. You’re acting like you could use a drink yourself”.

Asami stood. “I’ll be right back”. She cracked the door behind her before making her way to the kitchen to get the both of them a glass of wine. 

“We’re taking things slow. Get your head out of the gutter, Asami”. She took a deep breath and went back to the bathroom with the wine.

Korra had washed her hair and was working on finishing scrubbing her arms. “What’re we drinking, ‘Sami?”

Asami made sure to keep her gaze on the floor as she handed Korra her glass. “I hope wine is okay”.

“Booze is booze”. She took a drink. “Mmmm... can I get a towel? I think I’m gonna get out, finish this wine, and head home”.

Asami grabbed a towel and set it next to the tub. “You don’t have to go, you know”. 

“I know. I have some things I have to take care of, though. It’s nothing bad, I promise”.

“If you say so”. She left Korra to dry off and get dressed.

Sitting on the edge of her bed, Asami pulled her phone out.

-new message: Kuvira  
Hey. She good? How about you?-

-she’s okay. I’m fine. I just hate you-

-what?! What did I do?-

-I’m crazy for her, Kuv-

-ha! I knew it!-

-don’t rub it in-

She rolled her eyes.

-Opal! We might have an issue-

-oh no... is this bad?-

-I don’t think so. But... I think I’m falling for this woman-

-Bo owes me $50! I knew it!-

-you bet on this?! I can’t believe you sometimes..-

-love you!-

Asami took a deep breath. “I’m not rushing into this. Give it time,” she spoke to no one but herself.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months later, Korra’s having a hard time with recovery. A run-in with Mako sets her back a few steps. Asami walks into a scene she was secretly fearing the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kuvira might come off as being too harsh to Korra, but there’s a reason. A little more abuse from Mako (he’ll confront his own issues later), drugs and drinking are still in the picture. This is your warning for some self harm.

This wasn’t the first time in the past few months Korra found herself at Kuvira’s door. She knocked a few times and hung her head, already knowing how the conversation was going to go.

Kuvira opened the door, her hand already extended. Korra dropped the bag into her hand, not looking up.

“Did you tell Asami?” 

Korra nodded, still not wanting to look up. She was already disappointed in herself.

“When was the last time you used?”

“Two weeks ago,” she barely whispered.

Kuvira put a hand on Korra’s shoulder. “Relapses are going to happen. Right now, it’s about making the time between them longer. I’m proud of you for coming over after you bought this, though. Come in”.

She followed Kuvira inside and was handed a small glass of whiskey. She took it a little reluctantly. “I thought we were trying to get me to stop this”.

Kuvira never answered, instead dumping a small amount of the coke onto the kitchen counter and forming a line. “We are. Get over here”.

She took a drink and went into the kitchen. Stopping dead in her tracks, she stared at new friend. “This isn’t what I would call quitting”.

“This is called supervised using. Now, are you going to take it or not?” She folded her arms and waited, already knowing what Korra was going to choose. 

Korra ran her hand through her hair. “Yeah.. yeah. I’ll take it. Thanks, I think?” She went over and took the line, closed her eyes and stood straight again.

“5 minutes”.

She took another drink, waiting for the drug to hit. “What?”

“You have 5 minutes to finish your drink and get your ass to the back yard”.

“Um, okay”. She watched as Kuvira walked off, going out the back door.

‘That was weird as fuck’. She shrugged and started to finish her drink.  
_________

-don’t be mad at me later-

-god damnit, Kuv. What did you do to her?-

-nothing yet. I do plan on beating the shit out of her though-

-Kuvira! What the fuck?! Just because she came to you with her... purchase?-

-nope. I’m actually proud of her for that one. Just.. gonna remind her of what she’s missing as long as she keeps using. Gotta see if The Avatar still has it-

-do I really need to come supervise?-

-don’t. I know you... I’ll just leave it as a simple ‘care’... about her. But she’s gotta do this. Trust me-

-you’re crazy. Just.. be careful-

She heard footsteps approaching from behind. “You’re a minute early. See? You’re already starting to get better”.

“So... why are we not sitting inside going over recovery and all that?”

“Because... I don’t think it’s sinking in for you yet”.

“What the hell is that supposed to m-,” she barely dodged Kuvira’s fist. “What the hell?!”

“Come on. You need this. Bring it. Show me what the big bad Avatar still has”. 

Korra kicked her shoes off. “Oh, it’s on now”. She dropped into a fighting stance. “Let’s see what you got”.  
__________

“Figured you were out here when you didn’t answer the door”.

Asami jumped, hitting her head on the driveshaft. “Ah, fuck!” She pushed herself out from under the car and sat up on the cart, rubbing her forehead. “Spirits, Opal. A little warning would be nice”.

“I did text you”.

“Or you could have knocked before coming into the workshop”. She looked at her hand and noticed a small amount of blood. Sighing, she looked up at Opal. “How bad is it?”

She knelt down in front of Asami and looked at the small cut on her forehead. “It’s nothing bad. You know.. head wounds always look worse than what they are”. She patted her shoulder. “You don’t normally startle that bad. You doing okay?”

Asami let out a soft chuckle. “Just worried about Kuv beating the shit out of Korra”.

Opal’s eyes widened. “Alright. So either you’re bottling things up, not actually worried, or there’s some sort of plan going on. That isn’t something I would be almost laughing about. I mean, if one of my friends told me they were going to beat the shit out of my girlfriend I’d be marching over and-“

Asami grabbed her friend by the shoulders. “Slow down. Again, she’s not my girlfriend”. Opal rolled her eyes. “And... there is a plan. Yes, I’m worried about her and the situation, but.. I’m trusting Kuv with this. She’s... giving Korra another reminder on why she needs to quit”.

“Ugh, you’re frustrating. Just take her on another date already! It’s been months, Asami. I understand you want to take this slow, but you guys can still go on dates, you know”.

“Is this really what you came over to talk about?”

“Nope. I wanted to take you to get coffee and just walk around. Bo wanted to stay home and play video games. Work’s been stressing him out”.

Asami stood up and stretched. “Actually, that sounds amazing. Let me get cleaned up and we’ll head out”.  
___________

Korra pulled herself to her feet, dripping sweat and out of breath.

“Come on, Avatar! Is that all you got?!”

She ran up to Kuvira, catching the punch in her hand and throwing a knee into her ribs. Wrapping her leg around Kuvira’s knee, she used the momentum to toss her over her shoulder and quickly worked to secure an arm bar. At the last moment, Kuvira was able to push Korra’s legs apart to break her hold. Korra rolled backwards and got to her feet, staggering slightly from exhaustion and the drugs wearing off. 

“You’re slowing down. Are you done yet?”

Shaking her head, she motioned to Kuvira to keep it coming. It was her turn to take the charge, dodging under Korra’s left hook and springing up, her shoulder made contact with Korra’s mouth. She was able to use the advantage of Korra’s stagger to get her into a chokehold and started applying pressure.

Korra instinctively grabbed at her friend’s arm around her throat, trying to loosen the hold. She felt consciousness slowly starting to slip away from her so she tapped on Kuvira’s arm. Feeling the pressure release, she flopped onto her back, breathing heavily.

“You good?”

Korra gave her a thumbs up. “That felt.. great. Even if you did split my lip. And probably bruised me up pretty good. But why?”

Kuvira helped her to her feet. “Because.. the longer you use, the longer you’re out of the ring. This was meant to wake you up to that. I know you’re doing this for Asami. But you also need to do this for you”. She jabbed her finger into Korra’s sternum. “Keep what you want most in the front of your head. Every time you want to use, think of this moment. Think of why you’re quitting. I don’t care what the first thing to come to mind is, hold on to it. Fighting, Bo, me, Asami... hold on to it. Got it?”

Korra nodded. “Thanks.. for all of this”.

“Alright. Are you safe to go home?” She looked through her bag and pulled some money out for Korra. This was how things worked. Korra would drop off any drugs she had bought, and she would give her cash so she wasn’t going broke.

Korra took the money. “Yeah. Whatever this was.. I think it’ll be a new way to cope”.

She clapped her on the back. “And that’s what I was hoping for. Go on. Go home, get a shower. Oh. And Korra?”

She looked over at her friend just as she was about to go through the house to leave, “yeah?”

Kuvira gave her a smirk. “If you ever need your ass kicked again, you know where to find me”.

“Yeah, yeah”. She gave a wave and made her way back through the house and out to the street.

-well, Kuv didn’t kill me-

-good. Are you okay?-

-yeah. Just exhausted. Gonna go home and shower. Maybe take a nap-

-okay. I’m out with Opal so if you need anything..-

-I know. Thanks ‘Sami. I love you....

‘Noooope. Nope. What the hell, Korra’.

She quickly erased those three words.

... you stay safe too-

She put her phone in her pocket and started making her way home. ‘What the hell was that all about. We’re not even really together. We’re just friends’. Suddenly she ran into someone’s back, jarring her out of her thoughts.

She felt the guy turn and grab her before she fell. “Korra?” The hands left her shoulders.

‘Well there goes the good mood...’

“Don’t even start”.

Mako rolled his eyes. “How about you watch where you’re going. Or are you too drunk or high?”

“I’m fine”.

“That wasn’t the question. Where are you off to?”

Korra felt a glare forming on her face. “Are you even on-duty? Or are you just being a dick?” She stepped around him and continued her walk.

Mako rushed to catch up to her. “You have a busted lip. Are you sure you’re okay?”

She whipped around and grabbed him by the shirt. “And yet it still doesn’t hurt as bad as the one you gave me. Not to mention the bruises you’ve left from grabbing me. Or the black eye I was barely able to hide”.

He grabbed her wrist, making her let go of his shirt. “Stop making a scene”. He pulled her into an alley. “If you really want to go there, at least corner me in private”.

She pulled her wrist free. “What? You don’t want anyone to hear how the big detective beat his girlfriend?”

Mako stepped forward, starting to tower over her. “You...” he seethed. 

“I what?” She hissed back. “I brought it upon myself? Just because I never rolled over for you. What did I do, Mako? What did I do other than be an independent woman?”

He brought the back of his hand across her face. “Don’t you ever-“.

Korra blinked the tears out of her eyes. “Don’t ever what, Mako?! Make you question why you do.. this?!” She shoved him back. “I’m going the fuck home. Go have fun playing cop”.

He grabbed her and slammed her back into the wall, eyes filled with rage. “You’re nothing. You’re nothing but a drunk junkie”. He slammed her into the wall again. “I honestly can’t believe you’re still breathing. You broke me, Korra”.

She spat in his face, “I didn’t do shit. Don’t forget whatever it was you did to Asami Sato. I wasn’t the only one you’ve abused”. She felt his hand come across her face again.

“How dare you bring her up, you fucking bitch”. He threw her to the ground. 

She used the ground to her advantage and drove her foot into his crotch. As he buckled to his knees with a cry, she stood up. “For the record, she’s more of a man than you ever were”. She kicked a rock into his knee before leaving the alley and returning on her path home.

-how long are you going to be with Opal? I need to talk to you. Just.. you-

-I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if we cut our walk short. Are you okay?-

-no. Don’t do that for me. I’m sure she’d understand but you need to make time for your friends too. Instead of wasting all of your free time on me-

-it’s not wasted time, Korra-

She wiped the tears out of her eyes as she stepped into her apartment. Not bothering to lock the door, she went to her room. “Oh, Asami.. I’m most definitely wasted time”. She put her face into her hands, trying to fight the tears.

-Korra?-

‘I can’t just sit here’

She got up and made her way to the kitchen, opening her liquor cupboard. Pulling out the last bottle she had, she noticed it was almost gone so she chugged the last of it. 

-incoming call: Asami-

“I’m sorry, ‘Sami...”

She pulled her pocket knife out and opened it. 

-please answer. You’re scaring me-

-I’ll be fine-

Taking a deep breath, she drug the blade through the skin on her wrist. Once, twice. 

-did you buy again? What happened?-

-no. I’m out of booze too. Please don’t leave your friends for someone like me-

-incoming call: Asami-

She pressed the blade to her skin again and let out a sob, sinking to the floor. 

“H-hello?”

“Korra? Are you sure you’re okay?”

Clearing her throat, she tried to keep the tears out of her voice. “Y-yeah. Um.. I’m okay”. She looked at her blood covered wrist in her lap. “Asami.. you know I deeply care about you, right?”

“Of course. What’s going on?”

“Just.. don’t leave your friends, okay”. A sob slipped.

“Are you home?”

“Yeah. You can come over... later if you want”.

“Not with you crying like that, Korra. I’m coming over now. Opal needed to go home anyhow”.

“N-no. I.. don’t...” another sob rocked her body.

“Don’t want me to see you like this? I’ve seen you low before-“

“Not like this..” she hung up and closed her eyes, letting the tears run down her face. “I love you... but you deserve better...”

Asami opened the door to Korra’s apartment. “Korra? Where are you?”

Korra sighed, accepting her fate of Asami seeing this and stood up. “Kitchen,” she called with a shaky voice.

Asami walked in, turning on the light. She stopped as soon as she saw Korra’s appearance. Her hair was a mess, a bruise was forming on her cheek, her lip was busted open, and she noticed the blood on Korra’s pant leg. “What... what on earth happened?” 

“Um...” she touched her lip. “Kuvira got me in the mouth with her shoulder”.

Asami closed the distance between them, holding Korra’s face in her hands. “We both know there’s more than just the lip”. She noticed fresh tears starting to fall from Korra’s eyes. “What happened to you, Korra?” 

“I ran into... Mako..” her voice broke. “H-he..” she turned her head in Asami’s hands. 

“Kuvira didn’t do this, did she?” She asked as she gently ran her thumb over the forming bruise on Korra’s cheek.

A sob came from Korra. “N-no.. and I..” she closed her eyes. “M-my wrist.. Asami..”

Asami let her hands fall to Korra’s hand, feeling the wetness in her hands, she looked down and saw the blood. “Oh, Korra... how deep?”

“I don’t know..” she covered her mouth with her other hand and another sob rocked through her. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how much more I can deal with.. I can’t..”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, and took a deep breath.

‘She needs you. Do something, Asami’.

“Okay.. Okay. Let’s start with getting you cleaned up. We’ll take a look at the wounds and see how bad they are. Is that going to be okay to start with?”

Korra nodded, finally looking to Asami’s face. “You deserve so much better than me. I keep hurting you.. w-what happened to your forehead?”

Asami let out a soft chuckle. “Opal startled me while I was under a car and I smacked my head on the driveshaft. It’s not a big deal. Come on”. She led Korra to the bathroom and started running water in the tub. 

“How is Opal, anyhow?” Korra pulled her shirt off and sat on the edge of the tub.

“She’s... Uh.. Good. I guess her mom is planning some sort of reunion”. She sat next to Korra and started scooping water over her wrist. “She was asking about you. And us”.

“Really?” Korra watched the blood wash off her wrist and hand. “About what specifically?”

“She was just wondering how you’re doing with recovery. And she’s pushing for us to go on another date.” 

A small frown came to Korra’s face looking at the two cuts on her wrist. “Well.. I guess recovery isn’t going well”.

Asami turned Korra’s face to meet her eyes. “This... doesn’t mean recovery isn’t going well. Kuvira says you’re doing very well for such a short amount of time. It’s only been a few months. There’s bound to be some setbacks this early”.

“You know... this isn’t the first time I’ve.. you know..” 

Without thinking Asami brushed her thumb along Korra’s lip. “I... kinda figured”. She glanced to the other woman’s wrist. “It’s not too terrible. Do you have gauze?”

“Medicine cabinet. Tape should be there too”.

Asami stood, gathered the supplies, and sat back down next to Korra. “I was afraid something like this was going to happen,” she whispered as she ran more water over Korra’s arm. 

“What? I’m... so sorry... for making that a reality for you”.

She started wrapping the gauze around Korra’s wrist. “I’m just.. so scared that I won’t be able to get to you in time one of these days,” she continued whispering. “That one of these days.. I won’t ever hear from you again”. Asami knew she was crying quietly, but finished wrapping her wrist and taping it off. 

Korra grabbed Asami’s face gently, wiping her tears. “I’ll tell you if I get... that bad. If I’m seriously considering killing myself.. I’ll call you. I promise you that”. She rested her forehead against Asami’s. “You should stay the night”.

Asami wrapped her arms around Korra’s waist, suddenly remembering she was only in a chest wrap. “A-are you sure?”

She felt Korra move her head, slightly leaning in. “Yeah. Please?”

Asami closed her eyes, absentmindedly tacing lines over Korra’s lower back. “I can do that,” she sighed, feeling Korra’s breath against her lips.

She suddenly felt Korra pull back. When she opened her eyes she saw her standing, rubbing the back of her neck and a blush tinting her tan cheeks. “Spirits.. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what I was doing. It felt right but I don’t want to kiss you just because you’re taking care of me. Um.. you don’t have to stay. Just.. I’m sorry-“

“Korra,” she started, trying to not stare at the woman’s chiseled form and feeling a blush quickly rising to her face. “It’s fine. I.. I would like to. But if you’re not ready, there isn’t any rush. I’ll still be here. Whenever you are”. 

Korra cleared her throat. “Right. I’m, uh.. gonna get changed for bed. If you want anything to sleep in, I can bring you a shirt and pants or whatever”. She turned and headed to the bedroom to get ready for bed.

‘What are you doing? Why would you do that? It’s still too early. Right? She said she wanted to.. Korra, no’.

She took her chest wrap off and pulled a tank top on before changing into a pair of sweatpants. Rummaging through her dresser she grabbed a pair of sweatpants, shorts, a t-shirt, and a tank top for Asami.

Walking back into the bathroom, she noticed Asami still sitting on the edge of the tub, seemingly lost in thought.

“Are you okay? I got you a few options for clothes to sleep in if you want, the sweats might be a little short on you cause uh.. you’re taller and all”. She held the pile of clothes out somewhat timidly.

Asami was pulled out of her thoughts, a faint blush in her cheeks, and took the clothes. “Thank you. You really don’t have to loan me clothes to sleep in. It’s fine, really”.

She rolled her eyes. “Please. After everything I’ve.. put you through, it’s the very least I can do. I mean.. you’ve been dealing with me being an... addict. You held me while I’ve cried my eyes out. And now.. this”. She held up her bandaged wrist. “If anything, I should be paying you or something”.

“Korra.. you don’t-“

“No. I do. I’ll make all of this up to you. Somehow, someday”. She pulled Asami into a tight hug after she stood up. “You deserve so much more and so much better than me. But yet.. you’ve stayed. You don’t treat me like some hurt child. Yes, I’m hurting and broken. But..” she pressed her face into her neck, trying to find the words. “You’re not pushing me in any direction. You’re... you’re trying to help me find the pieces and put myself back together. I guess I’m just trying to say-“

Noticing her neck was damp from Korra’s sudden tears, she moved a hand into her hair, pulling her closer. “Shhhh. Korra, it’s okay. You’re more than welcome, but you don’t have to thank me for anything”. She pulled back slightly and brushed a tear from Korra’s cheek. “Go on and lay down, okay? I’ll get changed and join you in a moment”. 

She held Asami’s hand to her cheek for a few more seconds before giving a slight nod. “Okay. Thanks again. For everything”. She left the bathroom and went to crawl into bed.

‘She’s so... amazing’. With a small smile creeping onto her face, she pulled the blanket to her chest before getting her phone off the nightstand.

-Is mom next to you? I only wanna text this once-

-Korra.. is everything okay?-

-uh.. yeah-

-okay. I got your mom with me now-

-so.. I think I’m falling for someone again. Spirits, she’s so much better than Mako ever was. Even from day one-

-that’s great, sweetie! But... did you say ‘she’?-

-um.. yeah. Is that a problem??-

-of course not! Not exactly what we expected right now, but we’re very happy for you. And.. at least I don’t have to worry about you getting pregnant-

-dad! Seriously? Ugh. I’m gonna get some sleep. Love you guys-

Korra set her phone on the charger and rolled over, a genuine smile on her face. ‘Yup. Definitely falling for her’.

“What’s with that smile?” 

Korra sat up, looking over Asami in her clothes and swallowed hard. She had chosen the shorts and tank top.

‘I could get used to seeing her in my clothes. For sure’.

A lopsided grin crept to her face. 

“Okay, I love seeing you smile. It’s a good look on you. But what’s going on?” She made her way to the bed and crawled in next to Korra.

‘Spirits, she’s so damn cute with that grin’.

“Ah, it’s nothing. Just.. I’m happy you’re staying the night. Don’t get weirded out, but I sleep so much better next to you?”

Asami smiled warmly. “I’m glad. Thank you for the honesty. I’m going to do what I can to see that grin more often, if you don’t mind”. She wasn’t sure if it was entirely intentional, but she let their shoulders touch, skin on skin. Asami closed her eyes.

‘This is how it should feel. Comfortable, relaxed..’

Korra absentmindedly toying with her fingers brought her out of her thoughts. “If you wanted to hold my hand, you could just do it,” she said with a smirk.

“Huh? Oh.. uh.... sorry? I think?” She moved to pull her hand back, being stopped by Asami intertwining their fingers together.

“Really, it’s okay”. She settled in closer to Korra. 

Korra closed her eyes, resting her head on Asami’s shoulder. “You’re great, you know”. She started to drift off.

Sensing Korra was either asleep or at least mostly asleep, she kissed the top of her head. “Sweet dreams,” she whispered before checking her phone.

-new message: Opal  
Thanks for hanging out with me. My mom is really starting to get crazy with this reunion-

-not a problem, hun. Korra needed me anyhow. Also, she actually smiled-

-what?! Okay. How forced though?-

-not at all. Could see it in her eyes-

-that’s fantastic news! She’s gonna be okay. I just know it-

Asami smiled as the woman next to her started softly snoring. 

‘She’s never been in that deep of a sleep since I’ve known her. It’s... kinda endearing?’ She closed her eyes and let herself fall asleep to Korra’s steady breathing.  
___________

-bro come over. It’s important.-

-dude it’s like midnight. Some people actually sleep, you know-

-I need to talk to you about something. Beifong won’t listen to me.-

-you could just.. text it to me-

-no. This has to be between you and me. If someone gets my phone in their hands, it could ruin everything.-

-fine. Fine. I’ll be there in a few-

Mako was pacing in the living room, frustration building. He threw his glass at the wall, shattering it. “I’m gonna get you. Even if I have to turn your friends against your ass”.

He opened the door to a tired looking Bolin a few minutes later. 

“This better be worth you pulling me out of bed”. He stepped inside, closing the door behind him. “Do you ever sleep?”

“I need you to go to the department and turn Korra in”.

“What?! For what?” He rubbed his eyes. “I haven’t... seen her since you told me she wasn’t feeling well and didn’t want to see anyone. Is this yet another one of your ridiculous ideas to get your ex behind bars?”

Mako grabbed the bridge of his nose. “I know you have to know she’s using again. At this point, it’s the best thing for her. And you”. 

“What’s with you? You’ve been on this insane kick to get her locked up since she broke up with you. You find any excuse to try”.

He slammed his fist into the wall. “Damn it, Bo! She can’t keep doing this. She brought up Asami the earlier. Yeah, we haven’t talked in years but she has a whole company to worry about instead of some damn junkie!”

Bolin backed up, opening the door. “You need some help, bro. I don’t know what’s going on with you anymore. You really need to get your temper figured out”. He turned and left, his brother watching the door close.

“Just fucking turn her in!”  
________

Korra woke to a pounding on her front door. She looked at the time.

‘Who in their right mind is here at 1am?’

Sighing, she looked at Asami curled up against her. “Please don’t wake up,” she whispered, slowly sliding off the bed.

“Korra?”

‘Damn it’.

“Go back to sleep. I’ll be right back. Promise”.

Asami sat propped herself up on her arm. “Are you okay?”

There was pounding at the door again. “I’m fine. Just going to figure out who the fuck is here”. She pulled the blanket back over Asami’s shoulder before going to the front door and opening it slowly.

Bolin pushed it open, almost knocking his friend over and quickly closed it. “Sorry. This is bad. Mako’s going absolutely insane. He called me over and was going on about wanting me to turn you in for some reason. Tried to use that you’re.. uh.. using again as a reason- did I wake you?”

“Uh.. yeah. Some people actually try to sleep. So let’s slow down and back up about a hundred steps”. She rubbed her eyes. “So. What now?”

Bolin slumped his shoulders slightly. “Mako woke me up, asking for me to come over. He was saying it was urgent and it was a whole secret thing. Well, when I got there he said he wanted me to go to the station and turn you in cause Beifong won’t do anything. He also wanted me to say that you’re using to get her to do something and get you behind bars”. 

Korra just stared at her friend. “What the fuck is wrong with him?”

“I think he’s still pissed you left him?”

“Maybe he forgot why. And yet, he still decided to slap me twice earlier”. She let out a half laugh. “He’s the one who should probably behind bars. And lose his job”.

“Woah. Your turn to back way up. He put his hands on you? Like that?”

“It’s.. not the first time, Bo. That’s one of the reasons I finally left. It’s hard to not have run-ins with him when he’s a cop and I do.. what I do. I really wish I could cut him off the way Asami has..”

Almost on cue, Asami came up and placed her hand on Korra’s lower back.

“I knew my brother was bad with women but I didn’t realize he was.. doing that”. He noticed Asami had walked up. “Okay, normally I would tease and all that but.. Asami? Did Mako..?”

“No. He never hit me. However, he was verbally and emotionally abusive”. 

Korra leaned back against Asami. “He wants Bo to turn me in for the drugs. The bastard is really trying anything at this point. It’s not like I’m selling”.

“I knew he needs help but I had no idea just how bad he is”. Bolin rubbed his head. “I think I’m gonna head home and let you two get back to sleep. And Korra? I’m not gonna do it. There’s no point. Right now we just need to get you better and off the stuff”. Korra stepped away from Asami and pulled him into a hug.

“Thanks, Bo. Get home safe, okay?”

“Will do. Goodnight, you two”. 

After seeing Bolin out, Korra turned to Asami. “This is some real bullshit, you know? I need a drink or something...”

“I didn’t want to tell you, but I brought you a bottle. Just in case”. She reached into the bag she left by the door. “I hope that’s okay”.

She sighed and took the bottle of tequila from Asami. “Thanks. Did you want to get back to bed or just chill on the couch?”

Asami gave Korra’s arm a gentle squeeze. “We can go back to bed if you want. Don’t worry. We’ll figure this out too. Bo’s on your side”. She started back to the bedroom.

Korra opened the bottle and took a couple drinks before following her. She quietly watched as Asami made her way to the bed, eyes slowly running up her legs. ‘Those shorts are pretty damn nice on her...’ Taking a few more drinks, she let her eyes trail up Asami’s back as she settled back into bed.

“Well, are you gonna lay down or not?”

Snapping out of her thoughts, she took another long drink and capped the bottle. “Uh yeah. Sorry. My head’s just a little.. everywhere”. 

‘And all the thoughts are about you’.

“That’s to be expected after hearing what Bo had to say. C’mere”. Asami pulled the blanket aside for her.

Korra set the bottle on the nightstand and laid down next to her. “Right. It’s.. pretty messed up, isn’t it?” Asami wrapped her arms around her and pulled her close.

“We can talk more about this if you want when it’s actually daylight. That was a bit of a rude awakening”.

“Yeah.. you’re right”. She rested her head on Asami’s shoulder and draped her arm across her stomach. Not thinking, she pulled her arm back slightly and rand her hand along Asami’s stomach, lightly playing with the fabric of her shirt. “‘Sami? I’ve been thinking.. when do you want to go on that second date?” She adjusted her head slightly, moving closer to Asami’s neck.

Feeling the warm breath on her neck, she stammered for a moment, “U-um.. well..” she took a deep breath, covering the hand on her stomach. “It’s a Sunday now. And I have to go into the office tomorrow. I was going to go over some contracts today. How does next weekend sound?”

Korra let out a soft hum and closed her eyes. “Sounds perfect. I’ll make it worth your time. I promise you that”. 

“I’m sure you will. Get some sle-“. She took a sharp breath when she felt warm lips press against her neck. Closing her eyes, she felt Korra hum against her neck.

‘I both want you to do that again and to not’. 

She felt a warm hand slip under her shirt when another kiss hit her neck. “You’re so beautiful, ‘Sami”.

“Y-you’re drunk”. She stopped Korra’s hand from wandering further up.

“Tipsy”. Korra corrected before giving her a soft nip to just under her ear.

“K-Korra,” she sighed, feeling a warmth pooling in her stomach. “We c-cant. Not yet”.

“Who says? We’re both adults”. She gave another nip to her jaw. 

A quiet moan escaped from Asami. “As much... as much I want this, Korra... I-I want our first time to be when you’re sober”. She let out a shaky sigh when she felt Korra squeeze her side and nuzzle into her neck.

“If that’s what you want”.

‘It’s not’.

“P-please just try to get some more sleep”. She pulled Korra closer.

‘And you really think you’re gonna be sleeping now? Ugh.. stop. The alcohol will have her sleeping soon’.

After a few minutes of stroking her hair, she felt Korra’s body relax into sleep. She left Korra’s hand under her shirt, enjoying the comfortable warmth, and moved her hand to stroke her cheek. “I think I might actually love you,” she whispered before closing her eyes.

Taking a breath, she dared to slip her hand under Korra’s shirt. Her fingers started tracing her stomach, lingering on each on each divot of her muscles. She didn’t notice her fingers were trembling as she ran her fingers down, stopping at the V at Korra’s hip. 

“You’re beautiful too,” she whispered into Korra’s hair. Leaving her hand at her hip, she placed a lingering kiss to Korra’s forehead before letting sleep take her.  
_________

Asami woke, feeling for Korra in the bed. She opened her eyes and noticed she was alone and the bottle of tequila was missing. Furrowing her brows, she got out of bed. She made her way out of the bedroom and the smell of food caught her attention. Peeking around the corner, she saw Korra at the stove. She chose to admire Korra for a few moments, watching her arms and back as she cooked.

‘Oh stop being weird’.

Korra heard Asami walk into the kitchen. “Mornin’, sleepy head. Don’t think I’ve ever been awake before you. Hope you’re hungry. I made pancakes”.

“Mmm food does sound pretty good. What time is it, anyhow?”

“Just about 11”. She took a small drink from the bottle and turned around, plate of pancakes in her other hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t have coffee. Cause.. ya know”. She held up the bottle a little timidly before setting the plate on the table.

Asami gave her a smile. “It’s perfectly fine. I’ll just have some water then”. She sat at the table.

“Sure thing”. She went to the cabinet, pulled a couple plates and a glass out. Before filling the cup she grabbed a couple forks out of a drawer and the syrup off the counter, using the plates to carry it to the table. She set the glass of water and a plate with a fork next to Asami. “Need anything else?” 

‘Just you’.

“I think I’m good, thank you”. She made her plate and took the syrup from Korra. “This is perfect, just so you know”.

‘I could get used to this’.

Korra sat down and made herself a plate. “It’s nothing really. After everything you’ve done for me.. this is just something I thought you’d like? Besides. You’re gonna need the energy to go through all those boring contracts”. She took a sip from the bottle. 

“You seem awfully... happy this morning,” she said before taking a bite.

“One, I might be a little buzzed. Two, I slept pretty well after Bo left”. She shrugged. “I’m in a good mood sometimes”.

They had the rest of their breakfast over small talk, neither wanting to bring up the events of the night before. 

“Would you like help with the dishes or anything?” Asami was trying for a small excuse to stay a little longer.

“Nah. I’ll get it. Do you really work on Sundays?”

“Not always. It’s an unfortunate part of owning a company, having to go over things before the workweek starts. What about you? Any plans for today?”

“I’m probably gonna go work out a bit today. Might check if Kuv wants to spar again. She owes me a rematch”.

“Well... whatever you do today, be safe. And don’t let her bust your lip back open. Tell her if she does, it’ll be my turn to kick her ass”. She stood to leave. 

“Don’t let Opal scare you so bad you smash your head into metal again, or I’ll have a bone to pick with her.” Korra let out a laugh.

‘That’s a sound I’d like to hear more of’.

“If I don’t get to her first. I’ll text you later. Be safe”.

‘I love you’.

Korra got up and gave her a hug. “I’ll let you know if I get into trouble. You be safe too”.

“I will”. Asami left Korra’s apartment with a smile. She made her way to her car and pulled out her phone before getting in.

-might as well get another $50 from your boyfriend-

-you’re still stuck on that? I said I was sorry-

-nope. He just owes you a little more-

-Asami?! What happened?! I need to know. Everything-

Asami’s smile never left her face as she started her car.

-I have work to do today. Maybe later-

-you’re not getting out of this that easy. I’m coming over. You’re perfectly capable of talking and working-

-you might want to bring something to drink. You’re not ready to hear any of this-

-bet.-

She rolled her eyes and started her drive home, thinking of exactly how much she should tell Opal about last night.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra has been almost completely sober for a week. Her and Asami finally go on a second date and things get a little more heated. Opal has some big news.

“Relax. You look great”. 

“Should I try to put my hair up?” 

Kuvira rolled her eyes. “You’re putting way too much thought into this. Just be yourself. I mean, come on, you two have slept in the same bed more than once. You’re going to be fine”.

“I wasn’t sober on our first date. Or when we’ve spent the night together. I’ve always been at least a little intoxicated”. Korra looked herself over in the mirror. “What if I mess this up?”

“Seriously? If you haven’t messed up yet, it’s going to be very hard to do so now”.

Korra turned to face her friend. “Can I have a drink? Please?”

Adjusting Korra’s tie, she gave a smile. “Nope. You’re going to do this completely sober. I have faith in you. When was the last time you used?”

“Last week when I turned in to you”.

“And when was the last time you drank?”

“Last night?”

Kuvira rolled her eyes. “You know what I meant. But just in case... when was the last time you drank heavily?” 

Rubbing her face, she let out a groan. “A couple weeks ago”.

“See? This is progress. And this is why I have faith you can do this completely sober”. She grabbed Korra’s shoulders. “Just breathe”.  
___________

“So... where is she taking you?”

“I have no idea. She won’t budge. She just said to dress nice and bring a change of clothes”.

“This is starting to sound like she spent a ton of time planning, doesn’t it, hun?” Bolin stuck a couple chips into his mouth.

“How sober has she been?” Opal asked, zipping Asami’s dress.

“I mean.. she’s had a couple drinks through the day every day this week to keep the withdrawals at bay. But she hasn’t used in a week”.

A smile came to her face as she glanced to her boyfriend. “See, Bo? I told you she was going to get through all of this. She may not be completely sober yet, but she’s planned a huge date and isn’t drinking nearly as heavily”.

Bolin put his hands behind his head. “I know, I know. I worry. She’s quit before and look where she’s at again”.

Asami put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m taking care of her. For all of us. She’s been doing great this week”.

“You might want to get going. She’s gonna be waiting for you”. Opal shot her friend a wink.

“I’ll tell you all about it,” she said rolling her eyes and grabbing her bag and purse before heading out to her car.

-so.. where am I meeting you?-

-I’ll see you at the parking garage off of 24th St.-

-be there soon-  
_________ 

Korra was starting to pace outside of the garage. She saw Asami’s car pull in and was getting impatient waiting. As she turned, she saw Asami coming down the stairs and she felt her mouth fall open. She was wearing the same dress she wore the night they met at the club, but seeing it again through sober eyes took her breath away.

Asami couldn’t help but smile at Korra as she walked up. She put her hand under Korra’s chin, closing her mouth. “Hey, you”. She wrapped Korra into a hug. “You look great”. 

Closing her eyes, Korra took a deep breath. “You... you look more than great. Like.. wow”.

She took a step back and adjusted Korra’s collar and tie. “Blue always looks fantastic on you,” she leaned in closer. “Brings your eyes out even more”.

Korra blushed and pulled Asami back into a hug. “I suddenly have no idea what I’m supposed to do... ugh I’m so bad at this”.

Asami kissed Korra’s forehead. “Let’s just start with you taking me to wherever called for formal wear”.

“Right!” She offered her arm. “We have a dinner to get to”.

Asami took her arm and let her lead them to the restaurant.

‘She really went all out for me. And... I think she’s completely sober’. She stole a glance at the woman next to her and a small smile came to her face. ‘She’s so determined to make this perfect. Who am I kidding? She could have said we were watching movies on the couch and it would have been perfect for me. Oh, just let her have this.’

They were taken to their seats and they both sat down, thanking the host.

“I.. hope this is okay”. Korra was having a hard time making eye contact.

Placing her hand over Korra’s, she tried to get her to relax. “It’s more than okay. You really didn’t have to do... all of this”.

“I know. I wanted to”.

“Well then, my hot date, what’s after dinner?” She rested her chin in her hand, watching Korra’s face tint pink.

“Ahhhh you’ll have to wait and see,” she said, holding her finger up.

Asami leaned in closer. “Are you sober?”

“Completely”.

A smile came to her face. “Korra.. I’m so proud of you”.

“I’m.. not out of the woods yet. It’s only been a week, Asami. I broke after two weeks last time”.

The waiter came and took their order. After he left, Asami took Korra’s hand from across the table. “But you haven’t had anything today. You’re here, completely sober. Don’t overlook that. Today is the first day in I don’t know how long that you’ve been sober. How are you feeling?” She rubbed Korra’s knuckles tenderly with her thumb.

“I’m.. okay. My head hurts a bit but I don’t feel nearly as sick”. She gave the hand in hers a a soft squeeze. “I couldn’t have gotten this far without you”. She locked eyes with Asami’s and smiled. “I... still hope you want this. Us, I mean”.

“Of course I do”.

The waiter brought them their meals and after thanking him, began to eat. Asami wiped her mouth on her napkin. “Is something on your mind?”

“Just.. hoping you enjoy where we’re going after this”. She rubbed the back of her neck before taking a drink from her water. “I haven’t done anything like this before so I just really hope I’m doing this right. Any other date I’ve been on has been to get coffee or lunch or a quick dinner or just staying in-“

“Korra. You’re doing this more than just fine. If I wasn’t enjoying every second, I would tell you”.

Korra finished her meal shortly after Asami. “Thank you. For everything”. She paid for their dinner and stood, offering her hand to her date. “You ready?”

Asami took her hand and stood. “For anything you have planned”. They walked out hand in hand and Korra led her to the parking garage. 

“Where’d you end up parking?”

“On the third level. Come on”. They started up the stairs together, Asami leading. 

They got to her car and Korra grabbed her hands before she was able to open the door and pulled her close. “Um.. if this is too much.. you can stop me. At any point”.

Asami freed her hands from Korra’s and wrapped her arms around her waist. “It’s not. But if it ever is, I’ll tell you. Give me directions on where we’re going”.

“I will. In a moment,” she whispered, draping her arms over Asami’s shoulders, blush in her cheeks. “There’s... something I wanted to do before we go”.

“Anything”.

Korra closed her eyes and leaned in to place a soft kiss to Asami’s lips. She felt Asami tense slightly, digging her fingers into her lower back. She pulled back. “I’m sorry. I knew it was probably too soon-“

“Shut up and do it again,” Asami whispered and pulled Korra back into another, slightly deeper kiss.

Korra broke the kiss and rested her forehead against Asami’s. “Thank you,” she whispered before stepping back. “We should.. probably head out”.

She grabbed Korra by the tie before she could go to get in the car and kissed her deeply. She felt Korra press her back into the side of her car, hands trailing down her sides. Korra bit at her lip gently and with a soft moan she let Korra slip her tongue into her mouth.

She lifted Asami’s leg and hooked it around her hips, biting her lip with a moan of her own as Asami pulled their hips flush together. Suddenly thankful for the sit in her dress, she ran her hand up her thigh and pressed her thumb gently above her hip bone. She made her way along Asami’s jaw and down her neck, reaching around her back and finding the zipper.

Asami fumbled with Korra’s tie and top couple buttons of her shirt. She let out a small gasp as she felt Korra bite her neck and tug the zipper of her dress down. Holding Korra’s head in place, her body moved on its own, rolling her hips against her. A moan left her lips as Korra soothed the bite with her tongue while sliding her dress past her shoulders. She untucked Korra’s shit and managed to undo the rest of the buttons.

Korra started kissing and nipping at her collarbone, rolling her hips against her. She heard her suck in a sharp breath and knew the buckle of her belt hit right where it needed to, so she continued rolling her hips into Asami at a steady pace.

‘Shit. We’re outside. In a parking garage’.

“Korra..” her hands kept moving, sliding Korra’s shirt over her shoulders.

“I’m right here. Let go”. She left another soft bite to her jaw.

She let out a other moan, breathing going ragged. “K-Korra.. we need to..” she dug her fingers into the back of Korra’s neck, matching Korra’s pace with her own hips. “We need to stop..,” she barely managed to get out through a more drawn out moan.

“Why? You’re so close,” she whispered next to Asami’s ear, earning her a slight shudder of pleasure. 

“Parking garage,” is all she managed to say over the haze she was in.

Korra stopped and glanced around. “Oops? But yeah.. little too public for me too”. She gave Asami’s neck another soft bite. “My place or yours?” 

“I thought you had... something else planned”. She ran her hand down Korra’s stomach.

“It can wait. A walk in the park under the moonlight can always happen another night”. She gave Asami a lingering kiss, letting her drop her leg from around her hips. 

“My place? It’s closer”. She reached back, zipping her dress up.

“Sounds good to me”.

“Get in”. Asami opened the car door and slid into the driver’s seat. She was joined by Korra in the passenger seat within seconds. After starting the car, she pulled through the garage as quick as she safely could.

Reaching over, Korra grabbed Asami’s thigh and started trailing her fingers higher. She felt her tense under her touch. “Are you okay?”

Asami tightened her grip on the wheel. “We won’t be if you keep moving your hand like that. You’re going to make me wreck”.

“Mmmm no fair”. She pulled her hand back slowly and finished taking her shirt and tie off. 

She stole a glance over to Korra and bit her lip. “You’re incredibly distracting, I hope you know”.

Korra put her hands behind her head, flexing her arms slightly. “Then don’t look. Keep your eyes on the road”. She heard Asami groan and shift in her seat. “What’s wrong over there?” There was a teasing tone in her voice. “Can’t get comfortable?”

Asami pulled into the driveway.

‘Finally’.

“Come on. Get out”.

Korra did as she was told and quickly followed Asami to the door and inside. As soon as the door was closed and locked behind her, she found herself pinned against it, locked in a passionate kiss. Reaching around, she found Asami’s zipper and tugged it down for the second time that night. She moaned into Asami’s mouth as she felt her belt come undone.

Asami shrugged out of her dress, letting it fall to the floor and pressing her body against Korra’s. She felt her hands slowly run down her back and rest on her hips. “Korra.. bed..” she broke the kiss and whispered as she felt fingers hook around the hem of her panties. 

“Come on. Live a little”. She bit into Asami’s neck, quickly flipping their positions and pressing her thigh between Asami’s legs, groaning as she felt her roll her hips.

Fumbling, Asami managed to get Korra’s chest wrap off and drug her nails down her back, earning a moan. She rested her head against the door, bucking her hips into the thigh between her legs as Korra bit down harder on her neck.

The sound of gunfire suddenly rang through Korra’s ears and she felt herself tense.

‘No.. not now’.

Trying to ignore it, she pressed closer to her lover, raking her nails down her sides.  
~~~~~~~~  
Hand pressed into her side, she found herself staring down the barrel of a gun. The man’s eyes stared into hers, emotionless. 

“They said dead or alive.”

She felt herself duck down as he pulled trigger. Looking back at the man, she saw a sneer form on his face as he lowered the gun, firing again. She felt pain rip through her leg. Looking down, she saw blood starting to come between her fingers. 

‘Hospital. It’s a few blocks away. I can make it if I take the alleys’.

Standing, she started to run, adrenaline helping dull the pain in her leg. She felt the bullet tear through her back, breaking a vertebrae. Falling forward, the side of her face made contact with the sidewalk.

‘I can’t feel my legs.. this is bad’.

She opened her eyes, and noticed a car tire that wasn’t there moments before. The gun fire started again, snapping her eyes shut as a bullet cracked inches from her face. She felt the pain rip through her body. Arms, side, stomach. Suddenly the gunfire stopped and she tried to push herself up before collapsing again. 

‘What’s so wet around me? There wasn’t a puddle’.

Blinking slowly, realization hit her.

‘Blood. My blood. This.. this can’t be how it ends..’

“This one’s alive! Let’s go, people!”

‘No.. don’t. I’m not going to make it’.

She felt herself being lifted and put onto a stretcher. Feeling a bump, she guessed she was put into the back of the ambulance. Unable to focus her eyes, she decided to close them.

“Come on.. stay with us”.

‘I can’t’.

She let herself fade into darkness.  
~~~~~~

“Korra? Korra, sweetheart. Look at me. It’s over now. You’re safe”. Asami had her face in her hands gently, stroking her cheek.

She forced herself to bring her eyes into focus on the woman in front of her.

“There you go. Come on back”. She gave Korra a soft kiss. “You’re safe now. Was it a bad one?”

Korra nodded, still unmoving while she tried to get her bearings. 

‘Okay.. I’m standing, Asami’s here.. why is she almost naked? And why don’t I have a shirt or my wrap- oh shit’.

She held Asami’s hips to steady herself. “I’m.. I’m so sorry. I can’t..” a tear slipped.

Asami pulled her close, a hand stroking her back slowly while the other made its way to her hair. “I wasn’t even going to ask that of you. We can just sleep. This is as far as anything has to go tonight”. She could feel Korra’s shoulders shake as she cried. 

“I’m sorry. So sorry.. it’s not fair to you..”

“No. Don’t ever apologize for this. Yes, I want it. I want you. But we’re not going any further tonight, okay? Would you like to talk about it?”

“I’d... rather not. Not right now. I’m sorry for being a buzzkill though”.

“You’re not. I knew what I was getting into when I started having.. feelings for you. Especially after you told me what happened”. She pushed Korra back slightly and brought her chin up, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “I knew from the beginning this wasn’t going to be easy. You’re going to be fighting this war for a long time. And I’ll be here every step of the way”.

‘I love you, Korra. I’m in this for the long haul.’

“Do you want a drink or anything?”

Korra rubbed her face. “I do. But.. I want to at least make it 24 hours sober. Can we just.. go to bed?”

A smile touched Asami’s lips. “I’m so proud of you. And yes, we can just go to bed”. She kissed Korra softly. 

Suddenly remembering she was naked from the waist up, she folded her arms across her chest. She saw Asami roll her eyes jokingly. “You’re acting like I’ve never seen seen bare boobs before. In case you forgot, I have my own”. She lightly pushed Korra’s shoulder, letting her take the lead to the bedroom. “But if you’d be more comfortable in a shirt, I can give you one”. 

“It’s fine. If.. if you’re sure you’re okay with it”. Korra took her pants off and climbed under the blanket. 

“If I wasn’t, I would have told you. Would you like me to put some clothes back on?”

“I.. uh.. um.. no?” A blush tinted her cheeks. “Unless you want to that is”.

Asami crawled under the blanket with Korra, wrapping her arm around her waist and kissing the back of her head. “Have I ever told you how adorable you are when you get flustered?”

She wiggled closer to Asami, holding the hand resting on her stomach. “Are you drunk?”

“Not at all. Just honest”.

“I just noticed.. you’ve never mentioned any of the scars”.

“It’s not my place to say anything about them,” she whispered, giving Korra’s hand a gentle squeeze. “You’re still beautiful”.

‘And I love you regardless’.

Korra was quiet for a moment before letting out a content breath. “Thanks, ‘Sami. I’ll.. tell you about them someday. Oh. And I don’t think you understand how long I’ve been dying to kiss you”.

Asami chuckled softly. “Was it everything you expected?”

“And so much more”. She closed her eyes, feeling the anxiety ease from her chest. Deciding she was exactly where needed to be, she pressed her back to Asami’s chest, slowly letting exhaustion catch up to her. “Even if tonight didn’t go exactly to plan.. I still had a great time”.

“Me too”. She barely heard Korra yawn. “If you’re tired, you can sleep. I’m not going anywhere, not even to the bathroom, until you’re snoring”.

“I don’t snore,” Korra scoffed, need for sleep filling her voice.

“Sure you don’t”. She started rubbing Korra’s stomach gently to help her ease into sleep.  
_________

Asami was at the dining table, reading through the same contract for the fifth time when a soft knock came from the front door. Pinching the bridge of her nose she looked at the time.

‘It’s already almost 11?’ A smile crept to her face. ‘Of course Korra’s still asleep”.

Tightening her robe, she made her way to answer the door. 

“Well, how’d your date- what is that?!”

Asami quickly covered the bruised mark on her neck with her hand. Opal gave her a shit eating grin. “Ohhhh you’re not getting out of this at all”. She pushed by her friend and closed the door. “Though, that answers my question. And makes me really glad I didn’t call you last night”.

“N-nothing happened. You could have called. Are you okay?”

“I sure don’t call that nothing,” she teased, pulling her friend’s hand off her neck. “She got you good. Hope makeup can cover that, considering you have a whole work week to get through. Anyhow, I’m more than okay”.

That’s when Asami noticed the ring on her friend’s hand. “Bo did not!”

“Bo most certainly did”. A smile lit up her face as she sat at the table. “I was going to call, but I didn’t want to interrupt your date. And now I’m really glad I didn’t. This wasn’t something I was going to just text either”.

Asami sat back down in her seat, putting the contract back into a folder. “I’m so happy for you two. And it’s about damn time. How long has been? 6 years?”

“4 and a half. Can’t believe you forgot”.

“I didn’t. I was just messing with you. How’d he do it?” She took a drink of her coffee.

“He said he was bored and wanted to go down to the park. It was a really odd thing coming from him, but why not, right? So we went and just walked around until he decided to pull me to the pond....”  
~~~~~  
He threw some of the provided fish food into the pond. Watching the fish eat, he grabbed his girlfriend’s hand.

“You know I love you more than anything, right? Like I’d probably kill someone if you asked. Well... I haven’t been completely honestly lately, and I’ve had a burning thought in my head”.

“You should know by now you can to me about anything at all,” Opal said, wrapping her arms around his neck and giving him a kiss. “Wait. You didn’t actually kill someone did you? I know I’ve been complaining about my brother, but you should know it’s a sibling thing”.

Bolin gently took her arms from around his neck. “No. It’s nothing like that. It’s more along the lines of,” he reached into his back pocket and dropped to his knee, holding out a ring, “Opal Beifong, will you continue making me the happiest man and be my wife?”

She stood in shock, looking down at her boyfriend. A tear fell from her eye. “Of course, Bolin. Yes. Yes I will”. 

He stood and slid the ring onto her finger before pulling her into a kiss. “I love you”.

“I love you, Bo. A million times over”.  
~~~~~~

Asami was inspecting the ring on her friend’s finger. “He sure did a good job”. A smile came to her face as she noticed Korra coming down the stairs, suddenly thankful she had half a mind to pick up their clothes from the night before and taking them to the bedroom.

“I think I left my shirt in your car last n- oh. Hey Opal. Where’s the other half?”

Opal shot Asami a smirk and quirked her eyebrow after noticing Korra was only in her chest wrap and boy shorts. “Nothing happened, huh?” She whispered. “He had to go into work today”.

Asami tried to hide the pink in her cheeks. ‘At least she didn’t come down without the wrap’. “Did you hear? Bo finally popped the question”.

Korra was in the kitchen, moving things around. “I know. He told me he was going to. Congrats, Opal. You better take care of him”.

“You knew?! And didn’t say anything? Also, the alcohol is in the last cabinet on the left”.

“I was more concerned with... us last night. I figured she would have told you anyhow. Not looking for booze. Where do you keep your coffee mugs?”

“I was going to tell her after it happened, but I didn’t want to interrupt you two. So... I decided to come over. It’s almost noon, how are you just now getting up?” She turned to Asami, speaking quietly, “no booze? Is she okay?”

“She’s been completely sober for over 24 hours. Let her have this and keep your mouth shut”. To Korra she answered, “middle cabinet on the right. Creamer is in the fridge if you want it”.

Korra joined the two friends, coffee in one hand, phone in the other and sat at the table. “I’m just now getting up cause mornings are... evil. I’ll never understand how she’s always up before the sun, even on weekends”.

-new message: Kuvira  
How’d last night go?-

-perfect. Still sober. She’s kinda looking at me like I’m insane for wanting coffee and not booze-

-you’re over 24h sober? That’s fucking amazing!-

“Unfortunately being up before the sun is habit at this point, as much as I’d like to sleep in sometimes”.

‘Especially when you’re by my side’.

Korra thumbed open the folder on the table and made a face before closing it. “Up before the sun and going over that? That would put me back to sleep in 5 minutes, tops”.

Opal chuckled. “Me and you both. She’s a little crazy, understanding all of that before 9am.” 

“Wouldn’t say that. More like... crazy smart”.

“You two do know I’m sitting right here, right?”

Korra shrugged, taking a drink of her coffee. “We’re just being honest. It takes some serious brain to look at any of that with understanding before like.. noon”.

‘And it’s really, really hot’.

“On second thought, maybe you’re the crazy one. Who drinks black coffee?” Opal leaned over to Asami. “I’d say run. Buuuuut...” she looked between the two. “You’re too perfect together”.

Korra’s mouth fell open slightly, and Asami swatted at Opal’s shoulder. “Two dates and a few months. You can’t be serious”.

“Dead serious. Just like things are with you two, finally”.

“We’re not-“

“You most definitely are. Your neck gives it away, hun”. She stood to leave, smirk on her face. “It’s about time, too”.

Korra took another sip of her coffee, watching the two friends bicker as a blush settled on her face. 

‘I mean.. what are we now? Friends that kiss each other and almost have sex? No, just friends don’t really do that. I’d.. like to say we’re girlfriends? I’ll have to ask. I just.. want her to be ready for this’.

-Kuv, I need help-

-as your friend or as the one dragging your ass through addiction help?-

-as my friend. How does one ask where a relationship stands?-

-dude, you two are girlfriends. Just ask her if that’s what she’s ready for. When you’re with a guy, people just assume. Knowing how you are, you can be blunt sometimes. Just do it-

-I really don’t want to fuck this up and make things weird-

-I swear.. you guys have been on two big dates now and always talk. She’s waiting on you to take the next step-

After seeing Opal out, she came back and sat next to Korra. “Sorry about that”.

“Huh? Where did Opal go?”

“She needed to go help her mom get ready for their reunion later today. So it’s just us”. Leaning over she gave her a kiss.

Korra was the one to break the kiss, getting a sound of protest in response. “Sorry. Um.. hold on...”

Asami gave her a look of concern as Korra stood, running her thumb over rim of the mug. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Um. What’s.. this?” She gestured between the two of them. “What are we doing? Are we just friends with benefits or are we actually together and girlfriends or-“

“Korra. Stop. This is whatever you want it to be. I already know what I want”.

She looked Asami in the eyes. “What is it that you want? Cause I know what I want too. And whatever it is.. I don’t want it to be one sided”.

Looking deeply into blue eyes, she swallowed the knot her throat. ‘Just say it. She wants to know where you stand’.

“I want this, Korra. I want there to be an us for as long as you’ll have me. I... I want to be your girlfriend”.

A wide, yet lopsided smile broke onto Korra’s face. “Me too”. She set her cup down and pulled her... girlfriend to her feet, giving her a lingering kiss.

‘Girlfriend... sounds perfect’.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months later, Korra starts trying to get back into legal fighting, Asami and Korra help with wedding planning.

Korra hit the mat with a thud. She sat up and threw her gloves off and put her head in her hands.

“It’s just your footwork. You’re giving your opponent an opening they’re going to take”. Kuvira sat next to Korra. “We’ll keep working on it. I know you’re frustrated. You still have strong hits, and your grappling has improved a ton”.

“We’ve been working on this for weeks. I’m not making any progress”. She drove her fist into the mat. “I’ve hit a wall. At this rate, I might as well stop hoping I’ll ever get back into the ring”.

“This is like battling addiction it-“

“Takes time. I know. I can’t expect to get better over night”. She stood and grabbed her water bottle. “I’m just tired of it always coming down to my footwork”. She took a drink.

Kuvira started stretching her legs. “Entertain me. How long has it been since you’ve used?”

“Hmmmm about a two months”.

“And?”

She sighed and took another drink. “And the last time I got blackout drunk was a couple weeks ago. Where are you going with this?”

“Look at how far you’ve come. You were using nearly every day and drunk off your ass all day every day. We just started really focusing on your footwork. It could take a few more months before you’re back to where you used to be”. She stood and took Korra’s water bottle before she could take another drink. “And don’t try to slip that by me. I know you have some sort of alcohol in this.”

“How did you-? You know what.. never mind. I don’t know why I thought I could slip that by a bartender. Sorry”. She picked up her gloves and tossed them into her bag before pulling out an actual bottle of water. “My head was starting to really hurt is all. It’s been three days without anything”.

“You’re doing so well with this. It took me almost two years to get to the point your at. It’s been what? 6 months?” She tossed Korra a granola bar. “Aren’t you taking Asami lunch today?”

She took a bite of the granola bar. “Yup. I’ll be heading her way after I get home and shower”.

Kuvira handed Korra’s water bottle back. “Just.. watch the alcohol intake, okay? Three days without anything at all is a long time for you. I want you to try for four after a tomorrow”.

Korra raised her eyebrow. “I get two cheat days?”

“You’re doing well enough, I can trust you to make the right decisions. Now get home and shower. Don’t keep your girlfriend waiting”.

She rolled her eyes. “She doesn’t even know I’m coming. Same place when I get off work tomorrow?”

“You know it”.  
_________

Korra stepped out of the shower and grabbed her phone after wrapping a towel around herself. 

-how’s work?-

-I was finally able to go to lunch. Well.. sort of. I have another meeting to get ready for-

-you really need to eat something. Don’t fight me on this. All work and no food is gonna make you sick-

-I’ll eat later. Promise-

Korra rolled her eyes. “Hope you mean in 10 minutes”. She quickly got herself dressed and headed for the famous Future Industries tower.  
________

Asami signed her name on yet another piece of paper before moving on to another stack with a sigh. She read the first line, and her eyes shot to who it was from.

‘The Southern Tribe? I wonder if her dad has told her anything about this. Snowmobiles? I guess it would help them get around’. She rubbed her temples. ‘This is purely business. Korra doesn’t need to know unless her father has already told her. But what if he hasn’t? I should ask for her opinion. No, contracts are confidential. But.. she’s basically royalty, right?” With a sigh she pushed the small stack off to the side to continue with another client, her phone ringing pulling her out of her thoughts.

“Miss Sato speaking”.

“I hope I wasn’t interrupting your break, ma’am.” It was her assistant from the first floor. “Did you order out for lunch?”

“Um.. no. Korra must have sent it for me. Send them up”.

“Of course”. She hung up.

With a sigh, she set the phone back on the receiver, eyes wandering over to the stack of papers from the Southern Tribe.

‘Asking for snowmobiles wouldn’t require that many papers..’ she carefully skimmed through the first few pages when there was a knock.

“Come in!”

Her door opened slowly. Korra smiled, watching as her girlfriend was clearly consumed by whatever some random big buyer was trying purchase. 

“I brought you lunch”.

Asami’s head snapped up, a look somewhere between a smile and hurt on her face.

‘This is business. She can’t know’.

She quickly tucked the Tribe’s paperwork into a file. “You didn’t have to. I told you I’d eat later, sweetheart. But since you’re here.. close the door and join me for lunch?”

Korra closed the door and walked up to Asami’s desk, placing the bag of food in front of her. “And I told you all work and no food is going to make you sick. I don’t want that to happen. It’s my turn to take care of you for a bit”. She sat down in the chair across from her girlfriend.

Asami went through the bag, pulling out two separate meals. “I see you already planned on staying for a bit”.

“Is that a problem? I had a question anyhow, but I seemed to have forgotten my contract,” she said playfully. “I hate to interrupt your lunch, Miss Sato, but it is kind of important”.

Asami rolled her eyes, unwrapping her own sub. “Oh, stop that. What’s up?” She took a bite. 

‘She really knows my favorite already’.

“So.. dad called. It’s about that time of year for the Tribe.. so I was wondering if you’d like to join me for our winter solstice festival? We’d be leaving in about two months”.

‘She doesn’t know...’

She made sure to hide the sadness for her girlfriend and her Tribe, remembering the words from part of the contract that sunk her heart to the pit of her stomach. ‘Possibility of war with the North....’ 

“Of course. I could use a vacation. Some of these,” she slightly gestured to the few stacks of paper around her desk, “are starting to blur together”.

‘That was a lie. Just one of these suddenly taking first place for concern’.

“What about you? Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“I had Jinora cover for me. I... needed to see Kuv. I was starting to slip a bit. Sorry I didn’t text you about it”.

Asami forced herself to finish her meal. “Don’t worry about that. I’m just so happy you did the right thing. If you need to stay here, you can. I’m just going to have to have you sit outside during my talks”. 

“I might. At least for a little bit”. She finished her own meal a couple minutes later. “Kuv said my footwork still needs work. I’m starting to get pissed off with it. I’m ready to get back in the ring, legally, but I’d rather not have my ass handed to me within the first few minutes”.

“You’re going to get there, sweetheart. Do you think you can piss clean yet? Maybe getting into the MMA gym could help”.

“I... don’t want to risk it. Not yet. Yeah, it’s been two months since I’ve used but I still get the urges. I don’t want to slip up while I’m training”.

“I can understand that”. There was a knock at the door. With a sigh, she knew she had to cut their talk short. “I’m sorry, babe. You’re gonna have to-“

“I know, ‘Sami. I know. I’ll be outside”. She gave her a quick kiss before walking out to the small waiting area, holding the door for the stiff looking business man. ‘I’ll never know how she puts up with these people’. She sat down.

-hey dad. Is it okay if my girlfriend comes down with me?-

-of course! We’d love to meet her. She better be treating you right. Your mom’s not a fighter, but I’m sure she’d put another woman 6ft under if she hurt you like that boy did. He’s still very lucky you stopped me-

-sometimes I wish I hadn’t..-

-if I ever see the boy again... may the spirits have me grant him some mercy-

-he’s all yours if you do-

A smirk fell to Korra’s face as she rested her head back into the chair. ‘Maybe I should invite him too. It’d be hilarious to watch my dad knock him down a couple hundred notches. No... Korra. Don’t do that. This is a bit of a sacred time. He’ll get what’s coming to him’.

She heard Asami’s door close and straightened her back.

“She’s all yours, ma’am”.

‘Damn right she is.’

“Thank you”. She stood and walked back to Asami’s desk after closing the door. She noticed the file clearly marked ‘Southern Tribe’.

“What does my dad want from your company now?”

“You know I can’t tell you that information. Contracts are confidential. I’m sure if it was incredibly important, he’d tell you”.

She stood and took a short walk around the room to stretch her legs, eventually sitting on the edge of her desk. “Are you sure you’re doing okay?”

“I have a headache coming back.. and I missed you”. She stepped between her girlfriend’s knees, silently cursing the skirt that wouldn’t let her legs open much further. “And you’re kinda starting to play out something I would love to do”.

“And what’s that, hm?” She trailed her fingers down Korra’s stomach gently. “Coming into my office to fuck me on my desk?”

Korra’s face was suddenly red and couldn’t meet her girlfriend’s gaze. “Y-yeah? Maybe not for our first time though. What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?” She felt Asami slip her hands under her shirt, slowly tracing the dimples in her lower back. She desperately tried to fight want to arch her back. 

“Sudden? Oh, it’s not sudden. After all of our close... encounters,” she chuckled. “I’m ready for it. For you”.

“W-well you got me”.

“You know that’s not what I meant. But if you’re not ready-“ she was suddenly silenced with a deep and heavy kiss.

Korra ran her hands up Asami’s sides and slowly began to work on the buttons of her blouse. She felt her suddenly hold the back of her neck and with a low groan started trailing kisses down her girlfriends neck. 

“I want you too,” she whispered between kisses, sliding Asami’s shirt off her shoulders. Suddenly she stopped and took a step back. “But I drank today. And you want our first time to be when I’m sober”.

Asami stood, tossing her shirt onto the chair. “How much did you drink?”

“Just.. just a few mouthfuls”.

“So you’re still technically sober”. She reached behind her back and undid her bra, tossing it to join her shirt.

‘What are you doing? You’re at work’.

Korra swallowed hard. She’s seen her girlfriend naked before, but the sight still took her breath away. She trailed her eyes down, over her girlfriend’s breasts and down her stomach, settling on the top of her skirt. “Are.. are you sure you want to do this here? I mean.. you’re at work. Someone could walk in-“

“Everyone knows to not disturb me without knocking unless my door is open”. She grabbed Korra by the front of the shirt and pulled her close. “Besides,” she nipped her neck, “isnt this a fantasy of yours?”

‘What’s gotten into you? You’re never like this. But I haven’t had sex in ages. But you’re at work and still have meetings the rest of the day. I don’t care, I’ll deal with it if it happens’.

She was pulled out of her inner fight with the situation when Korra suddenly tugged her skirt down and picked her up. Wrapping her legs around her girlfriend’s hips she nodded over to the desk.

Korra gently pushed the paperwork out of the way and sat Asami down on the edge of the desk, trailing kisses down her chest. She stopped, lightly blowing a soft puff of air over her already erect nipple before taking it into her mouth and slicking her tongue over it gently. All of their almost sex moments gave them plenty of time to find several places and actions that were favorites. 

Asami arched into Korra’s mouth with a moan, fisting her hair with one hand and gently pushing down on her shoulder with the other. She wanted both for Korra to keep doing what she was doing and to continue lower. Sensing Asami’s struggle with trying to make a decision, she switched her actions to her other nipple, lightly squeezing the other. 

This wasn’t the scene she was expecting for their first time together, but Asami wanted her. And now. Korra started to slowly kiss along her ribs and stomach. Asami dug her nails into her shoulders, bucking her hips slightly looking for friction. A small smirk came to Korra’s face as she took the hem of her girlfriend’s panties between her teeth and hearing her breath hitch. She stopped for a moment, looking up from her position on her knees and took in the sight above her. 

Asami was bracing herself with one hand in a loose fist against her desk, the other clamped over her mouth to try to muffle the moans escaping her, her cheeks slightly flushed. Her eyes trailed lower, noticing her chest flushed, rising and falling deeply as if she was trying to control her breathing after a long run. Korra let her panties go, smiling at the half gasp, half moan Asami let out at the sudden smack. That was a new sound.

“Korra..” it was a breathless plea that Asami only hoped her girlfriend could interpret. She suddenly felt her trailing painfully slow kisses up her thighs.

‘Korra doesn’t take things slow unless... of course she’s doing this on purpose’.

She stopped her kisses at Asami’s hip, biting down and reveling in the pleasure filled gasp that came from the woman above her. She was starting to ache between her legs but willed herself to not begin getting herself off.

‘This is for her. I can wait’.

Sinking her teeth into Asami’s hip again, she ran a hand up her thigh. Not getting quite the reaction she was hoping for, she pushed her girlfriend’s legs open. Nipping lightly at the junction of the inside of her thigh and mere inches from where Asami wanted her, her senses were overwhelmed with the scent of her girlfriend’s arousal. 

There was a long, drawn out moan. “Spirits, Korra... please...”

She looked up, locking eyes with the green ones above her filled with desire. While holding her gaze Korra ran her thumb over the growing wet spot on Asami’s panties, letting out a soft groan of her own. She rolled her hips against Korra’s hand.

“You... you want me this bad? Spirits, babe. You’re so-“

There was a knock at the door and Korra shot up to her feet.

Groaning and clearing her throat, Asami called towards the door, “one moment!”

She worked quickly to get her bra and shirt back on and Korra tossed her her skirt. “I’ll.. see you at your place?”

“You’re not going anywhere. After this meeting, we’re continuing this,” she pulled her close by the collar of her shirt. “I need you, Korra,” she softly moaned into her ear.

Korra felt her face grow warmer and she turned to leave so Asami could have her stupid meeting with the stupid guy who interrupted. She felt a pull on the back of her collar. “Where are you going?”

“Out? Cause I can’t be in here when you’re going over contracts?”

There was a knock again. Trying to keep her voice professional, she answered while tossing her skirt under the desk and shoving Korra under with it before sitting down, “Come in.”

Korra sat still for a moment, eyes wandering up her girlfriend’s legs. A smirk graced her lips as she decided to take her chance. She slowly ran her fingers across Asami’s clit over her panties. Feeling the sharp point of a heel jab her leg, she pressed her fingers down harder to keep from yelping in mild pain.

“So um.. we can get the designs sent to m-my production team within the next few weeks..” she was trying to keep her head in this meeting and not on the hand between her legs.

“Is everything okay, Miss Sato?”

“Yes!” At least Korra chose to pull her panties off to the side at decently timed moment, “o-of course. I’ve just had a long day”.

“If you’re sure. What are the numbers going to look like?”

She swallowed a moan. “Well..”

Korra heard her start talking numbers, silently cursing the man for asking yet another question. Unable to resist any longer, she slowly slid a finger into her girlfriend, clamping her other hand over her mouth to stifle a moan of her own. 

‘Spirits.. she’s soaked’. She noticed the wet spot slightly starting to form on the chair, slowly adding another finger. ‘No resistance at all. In fact.. it’s like she’s pulling my fingers in more...’

She slowly pulled her fingers back and felt Asami tense. With a smirk she started a slow rhythm, watching as she opened her legs more.

“So we can expect to hear from you in a about two months?”

Asami took a steadying breath to not moan with her next words. “I’ll be on vacation in two months, but my next in command, so to speak,” she felt Korra hook her fingers slightly, “w-will be the one to contact you”.

“I hope that vacation comes quickly for you, Miss Sato. I don’t think I’ve seen you this tired since your father...” 

Asami tensed feeling Korra both hook her fingers and start rubbing her thumb around her clit slowly.

“I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to bring him up”.

“No, no”. She sighed. “Y-you’re right. I’ve been over working again”. Closing her eyes, she felt the hand between her legs quicken with another well placed hook of fingers. “Th-this vacation is going to be good for me”.

“How long are you planning on being out if the city?”

Another hook and brush on her clit made her legs tense. “I’m not sure yet. At least a c-couple weeks. It’ll be nice to get away for a bit”. She felt the tension building in her stomach. She was close to her orgasm and this guy needed to leave and soon.

“Well don’t let me keep you at the office too late. Enjoy the rest of your evening, Miss Sato. And thank you, again”.

“Y-you’re welcome”. She felt her hips buck into Korra’s hand as she watched him leave, making sure he closed the door on his way out.

At the sound of the door closing, Korra hooked her fingers into Asami’s front wall with each thrust and slightly quickened her thumb working at her clit.

“K-korra..” she moaned. “I swear to all that is sacred i-if you stop..” her hips started rolling with Korra’s pace.

“I wasn’t going to unless you said so”. She bit down on the inside of her thigh. Feeling her girlfriend’s walls start to twitch around her fingers, she kept them hooked, making sure to hit her front wall with each roll of her hand, matching Asami’s hips.

Moments later she heard her name come through as a muffled yell of pleasure as Asami’s walls clamped hard around her fingers and wetness pool in her hand. She slowed her pace, helping her girlfriend ride out the waves crashing over her. 

Gently pushing Asami back by the chair, she stood from under the desk. She gave her a deep kiss as she removed her fingers, Asami softly whimpering at the loss. Korra licked her fingers clean, moaning softly as she tasted her girlfriend for the first time. 

“I hope you can focus on work after that”.

She pulled Korra close, resting her head on her stomach. “Next time, you’re not going under the desk”. 

“You loved it”.

“Maybe I did”. She kissed her stomach after slowly pushing her shirt up. “Now it’s my turn to show you how good you made me feel”.

“As much as I’d love that, I don’t think I could pass off as you if someone else had a meeting. I’ll be at your place when you get out of here”.

She watched as Korra left her office before pulling her skirt back on. ‘Hopefully you can just call it home soon..’ Asami shook her head. ‘Where did that come from? We haven’t even mentioned moving in together at all’.  
___________

The next morning, Korra had just finished taking the large, fluffy white mutt for a walk before unlocking the doors to the shelter.

“Isn’t it your turn to take Naga this coming weekend?” 

Korra jumped, pulling back on the dog’s leash instinctively. “Kya! Are you trying to kill me?”

Kya smiled warmly. “No. Jinora said you asked her to cover for you yesterday. Are you doing okay?”

“Uh.. yeah. I haven’t told you yet, but I’m trying to get back into the ring”. She scratched Naga’s head. “My footwork is still sloppy though. I’m starting to think I’ll never be able to get back to it”.

“Have you considered going back to the gym? I’m sure they’d all be happy to see you again”.

“I’m.. not ready to face Bumi for falling off the face of the earth on him”.

Kya rested her hands on Korra’s shoulders. “You needed to heal. What you went through.. he understands why you left. He’s just concerned why you still haven’t come back after two and a half years”.

“Kya.. you haven’t told him?”

“Of course not. It’s not my place to tell anyone. I’m just happy you’re sober again”.

“Well.. I wouldn’t call two months off coke and the fact I still drink completely sober”.

“Korra, you haven’t been coming to work so drunk I have to stick you back in the receiving bay every single day. So maybe you’re a little buzzed some days. You’re much more personable. You’re getting through this”.

She gave Kya a tight hug, tears in her eyes. “Thank you. I really am trying. The only thing that has been constant has been the alcohol and I’m even quitting that. It’s just.. so hard sometimes”.

“It’s going to be for a while. You’ve basically been drunk for almost a year and a half straight. Now come on, we have a shelter to open and animals to care for. Jinora and Ikki should be in soon.”

“You’re too kind to me, you know”. She led Naga inside and behind the desk, patting her on the head before grabbing her clipboard and making her rounds.

“You should really consider adopting her,” Kya called from the desk. “You already pulled her off the adoption list and made her our mascot”.

Korra sighed, coming back around the corner and dropping her clipboard off. “My place is too small. She wouldn’t be happy there long term. Maybe once I get my shit figured out I can get a bigger place and take her home for good”.

“You’ll get there,” Kya said softly before heading to her office.

Korra unlocked the main doors, letting Jinora and Ikki in. “You look tired today. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Ikki. I just had a long night. Um.. the dogs in C block need walked still”. 

She noticed Jinora’s deep stare. “You’re not really fine, are you?” 

Sighing, Korra sat behind the desk. “How do you read people so well? I’m just.. frustrated”.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really. Thank you, though”. She tried to give her younger friend a smile. “The free roam room needs food”.

“We’re here to help, Korra,” she said before heading off to feed the cats.

Looking down at Naga’s head on her leg she barely whispered, “I know”. Looking up, she noticed the first of the volunteers had shown up.  
__________

-if you still want to spar meet me at the gym-

She swallowed the lump in her throat, staring at the doors and gym bag over her shoulder.

-you’re going back?! I’ll be there soon-

-I’m going to try I guess-

Taking a deep breath, Korra opened the door and walked in. She was suddenly pulled into a bone crushing, sweaty hug.

“Korra! You’re back!”

“Bo. Can’t breathe. And you’re sweaty”.

He set her back down on her feet. “Sorry. This is big! Why didn’t you say anything?”

She shifted her weight slightly. “I... wasn’t planning on coming back here yet”.

“Well, well. The Avatar has finally returned to us. I was starting to wonder if you’d come back”.

“H-hi, Bumi. Um.. I’m not how I was before”.

“I can see that”. He grabbed her shoulders. “You’ve cut your hair and you look absolutely exhausted. Don’t worry, I’ll get you back to being fight ready”.

“The hair has actually grown out a bit,” Bolin decided to add to the conversation.

“Well. You know the drill, kid”. He handed her a small cup.

She made her way to the bathroom and stared at the cup in her hand. “Well... this is it”.

A few moments later she left the bathroom and handed the cup to the gym’s nurse, Pema. She watched as she cracked the test strips open and shake the cup slightly. “You’re clean, dear”.

A small smile came to her face. “Thanks”. She walked over to one of the rings and set her bag on the bench.

“Looks like someone pissed clean”.

“Now I just gotta keep it that way, Kuv”. She rubbed the back of her neck. “And I don’t know if I can”.

Kuvira finished strapping her gloves on and stepped into the ring. “Sure you can. You’re here now, aren’t you? So get your ass in the ring and let’s do this”. 

Korra strapped her gloves on and got into the ring with her friend. “I just don’t want to get kicked out now”. She put her mouth guard in.

“Then don’t”. After putting her own mouth guard in, she brought her hands up and nodded at Korra to begin.

They met in the center, Korra taking the first jab. She ducked under Kuvira’s swing, locking her arm around her torso, throwing a few quick punches into her ribs with her other hand before her friend hooked her leg around hers and pulled it out from under her. They both fell to the mat, Korra trying to get Kuvira’s hands pinned, landing a couple punches to the side of her head.

Kuvira rolled back and swung her legs around Korra’s torso and threw her back, switching their positions. Korra brought her hands up to protect her face and head as her friend started throwing punches. She felt a knee drive into her ribs. Thrusting her hips up to get Kuvira off balance, she swung her leg around and locked her heel around the back of her head to throw her off. Quickly getting to her feet, she threw a kick to her friend’s thigh.

Kuvira watched as Korra set her foot back down, shifting to take another kick. She saw her opening and took it, grabbing her ankle and driving her elbow into the back of her knee. Kuvira quickly stood up as her friend dropped to her knees, sending a hard kick to her ribs. She fell to her side, trying to react fast enough to bring her arm up to protect the side of her head. Feeling her friend pull her arm back, she rolled onto her back under Kuvira’s weight to attempt to use the hand that wasn’t pinned.

Korra tried to grab the hand that was delivering blow after blow to the side of her head. She was starting to get dizzy and disoriented when she heard a booming voice.

“Enough, Kuvira!”

She felt the weight of her friend leave her body as she let her hand fall to her side. 

Kuvira removed her mouth guard, breathing heavily. She knelt next to Korra. “Are you okay?”

“What the fuck was that all about?” Her head was still spinning. 

“You’re leaving too many openings,” Bumi said calmly, climbing between the ropes. “I agree, that was almost a little too much,” he gave Kuvira a look. “But I hope it proved a bit of a point”.

Korra covered her face with her arms. “I’m so screwed”.

“I wouldn’t say that. I told you I’d get you back to fight ready. I mean it. I’m going to get Pema to look at you”. He stepped out of the ring and went to get the gym’s nurse.

“Do you want me to call Asami?”

“If she finds out you did this, she’ll literally kill you”.

She let out a laugh. “Okay, fair point. Pema’s here. I’m gonna head to the showers”. Standing, she left Pema to care for her friend.

“What hurts the most? We’ll start there”.

“My head for sure”. Korra moved her arms and tried to sit up, but laying back down when she got too dizzy.

Pema looked at Korra’s eyes, moving to the side of her head and looked where Kuvira had hit repeatedly. “What’s your name?”

“Korra”.

“Birthday?” 

“January 10th”.

“How old are you?”

Korra paused for a moment. “23”.

“What month is it?” 

Another pause. “September?”

“It’s October. Do you know what day it is?”

“Um.. Friday?”

“It’s Wednesday, dear”.

Korra let out a sigh. “Concussion?”

“Yes. I’ve seen worse, but I’d feel better if you didn’t go home alone”. She helped Korra sit up. “I can get my husband to come get you. Or I can release you to Kuvira”.

Korra rubbed her head, wincing as she knew there was definitely a bruise. “Um.. I’ll call someone. If that’s okay”. 

“That’s fine. But I’m going to need you to stay here until they come pick you up”. 

“Alright”. She made her way out of the ring and sat on the bench, pulling out her phone. She dialed her girlfriend.

“Hello? Korra?”

“Hey, babe. Are you home?”

“Yeah. Are you okay?”

“I need you to come get me from the gym. The nurse won’t let me leave alone”.

“I’ll be there soon. What happened?”

“I... kinda have a concussion”.

“First day back in the gym and you already get a concussion? What on earth am I going to do with you... I’m on my way”.

She heard Asami end the call and laid back on the bench after removing her gloves, closing her eyes. 

“What’d Pema say?”

“You gave me a bad enough concussion she won’t let me leave alone. Asami’s on her way”. A smile came to her face. “I’d run if I were you”.

“I would, but Bumi put me on guard dog duty until someone comes to get you. You know what this means, right?”

Korra was silent for a few moments. “No drinking”.

“That’s right. No drinking. If I have to, I’ll come babysit you”.

She rolled her eyes. “Maybe I should make you. As payment for doing this to me”.

Kuvira folded her arms. “Your girlfriend’s here”.

Korra sat up slowly and flashed Asami a crooked grin.

“This isn’t funny, sweetheart. Are you actually okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. I’ll just be out of it for a few days, can’t drink, ya know. Concussion stuff”.

She helped Korra get to her feet. “Kuv. What did you do?”

She put her hands up in defense, choosing to not say anything.

Asami shook head and led Korra to her car, waving to Bolin on the way out. “We’ll see you in a little while”.  
__________

“What are your colors again?”

Opal rolled her eyes. “Green and silver”.

“Oh, leave her alone, hun. She’s got a nasty concussion. How are you feeling, by the way?”

“Just tired. And sore”.

“Guys. Wedding plans. Where did you two want to get married?” Asami had a notebook in front of her.

“We were thinking up in the mountains outside of town”. Bolin looked to his fiancé, tapping his chin. “And the reception..”

“Upper level and balcony at Kwong’s”.

“Emeralds”.

The other three looked at Korra, confusion on their faces. 

“Ooookay. I understand you’re concussed but I’m gonna need more than a single word”.

“Just think. We could string some emeralds from the lights at Kwong’s. And the table coverings could be silver. Green napkins and placemats”.

Opal looked to Asami. “I actually like that idea. You can write that down but leave some room for additions or more ideas”.

“Karaoke”.

Bolin shot her a look. “Vetoed”.

Asami chuckled softly. “I don’t think many would agree with that one, sweetie”.

“You guys are no fun”. She stretched and yawned. “I think I’m gonna turn in for the night”.

Getting up and heading for Asami’s bedroom, she heard her girlfriend call from behind her, “no booze, and no painkillers. Just sleep”.

“That’s the plan,” she called back.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra’s been sober for a month, she gets a little angsty, more smut, Mako and Bolin get into a fight over the wedding, Korra has a brief conversation with her dad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a warning for some suicidal ideation.
> 
> Also, pretty ~spicy~ smutt at the end of this

Asami woke and pulled Korra closer. The sun was just starting to come above the horizon and she knew she had to at least start getting ready for work. She kissed Korra’s cheek and moved to get out of bed when a warm hand covered hers.

“Did I wake you?”

“Mmmm yeah. Do you have to go? Your meetings are boring”.

Asami rolled her eyes. “As if you actually listened to any of them. You’re always very.. occupied”.

Korra moved closer to her girlfriend, wrapping an arm around her bare waist. “Oh, come on. I’ve only hid under your desk three times. We can do it again today if you want. I’ll bring lunch”.

Asami patted her hand and stood. “I need to get some things buttoned up at work before we leave, babe. No office sex”.

Korra reached out and lightly smacked her bare ass, playful grin plastered on her face.

“Sweetheart... I have to get ready for work. You will too soon. So unless you want to shower with me.. I suggest you get a little more sleep”.

She watched as Asami headed to the bathroom, eyes following her gentle curves. Sighing softly, she settled back into bed and pulled the blanket under her chin. She shifted slightly before deciding she wasn’t going to be going back to sleep. Stretching, she stood and made her way to the bathroom.

“Couldn’t get back to sleep?”

“Nope”. She pulled the shower door open and joined Asami, letting the water hit her back. “My place tonight? As much as I love this shower, I don’t want to keep staying here. It’s not fair to you”.

“Move in with me”.

‘Shit. Shit, shit, shit. That was not supposed to come out. It’s gotta be too soon...’

Korra stood under the water, mouth open as she processed the words that just left her girlfriend’s mouth. 

“Korra, baby, I’m so sorry. I know it’s too soon to even consider that. What’s that smile for? Korra! Say something, please!”

She pressed Asami against the shower wall gently, kissing her deeply. She broke the kiss with a soft smile. “You seem like you need time to process what you just asked me. So I’ll leave it at.. I’ll think about it”. She gave another, softer, kiss to her girlfriend before turning to wash her hair.

Asami watched Korra’s back muscles, dumbfounded at her answer.

‘She.. what? She didn’t freak out. Is she really ready for that step? I mean... when was the last time we slept alone? We’ve been switching beds for the past month or so. Get it together, Asami’.

She reached around Korra from behind as she was rinsing her hair, running her hands down her stomach. Feeling her body tense then relax, she brought her hands back up, lightly giving Korra’s breasts a gentle squeeze and kissing her shoulder. “So you’re not upset for the suggestion?”

Korra arched slightly into her hands. “Not at all,” she breathed. “I thought you weren’t in the mood. You have to get ready for work, don’t you?”

“I own the place. I can be a little late”. She nipped the skin behind Korra’s ear, trailing a hand to her hip and using the other to gently roll her nipple between her fingers. “And I never said I wasn’t in the mood. Just that I needed to get ready for work”.

Korra let out a moan, trying to turn in Asami’s arms. She was stopped and pushed front first into the wall of the shower. Her breath hitched as she felt a finger graze her clit and teeth making contact with her neck. 

‘Shower sex. Check’.

She rolled her hips against Asami’s hand. “‘Sami.. we don’t ha-“ her breath caught as she felt a finger tease her opening.

“Mmmm someone is most definitely in the mood this morning,” Asami whispered against her neck, slowly rolling her hips into Korra’s ass. “Don’t worry. We won’t be too late to work. I have a feeling this will be.. quick”. She gave Korra’s neck another bite, sliding her finger in and quickly following with a second.

Korra’s knees nearly gave out and decided to let Asami’s body support her. Leaning back, she caught her lips in a kiss, moaning as she felt fingers stroke across her front wall. 

Asami continued grinding against her girlfriend from behind, working her palm against her clit. She felt her start to tremble as she grew closer to orgasm. Leaning into Korra’s ear she whispered, “it’s okay, baby. I got you. Let go”. She gave a few more slow strokes and felt Korra come undone, her brows furrowed together and a silent scream on her lips. She continued slowly thrusting her fingers, letting Korra ride it out as she gave a few more rolls of her own hips before her own legs started to shake. 

Korra grabbed the hand between her legs as her legs finished giving out as another orgasm crashed over her. Asami barely had the strength to hold all of Korra’s weight after her own orgasm came over her so she eased them both to the floor of the shower. Wrapping her arms around her, she felt Korra curl into her chest.

They stayed like that in bliss until the water started to run cold. Asami reached up and turned the water off and kissed the top of Korra’s head.

“I told you it was going to be quick. But I really need to get ready for work now”. She stood and helped her girlfriend to her feet. 

“Work is stupid,” Korra sighed, grabbing towels for the both of them before heading into the bedroom.

Asami followed, drying her hair. “You know.. I meant what I said. About you moving in. But if you need time to think-“

“I don’t. But I’m going to think on it.. for you. I want you to be sure. You know better than anyone how I can get sometimes. I want you be ready to have... all of me under the same roof”.

“Korra-“

“I mean it, ‘Sami. I’ve been completely sober for a month. I can slip at any point. I’m still trying to figure out how life works sober. It’s.. not easy”.

Asami kept quiet as she got dressed for work. Her girlfriend was suddenly on edge and she didn’t want a fight. Not over this. It would only send her into a spiral that would only lead her to getting drunk.

Against her better judgement, she asked, “Korra, do you want to use?”

She was met with silence, not turning around she heard something hit the wall. “Of course I want to fucking use again! Damn it, Asami, that’s all I want right now. Being sober is so fucking hard for someone like me. This... this is why I want you to be sure you even want me living in the same house with you!” She heard another hit to the wall. 

‘Don’t press the issue...’

“Do you want me to get Ku-“

“Don’t. I don’t want to fucking talk to her”.

“Korra, she can help you get through this. Through the anger. It’s-“

“Shut up and go to work”.

Asami turned, stunned at the words that Korra had said, to see Korra dressed, resting her head and a now bloody hand on the wall.

“Korra..” she swallowed her tears. “This.. this is part of recovery,” she said quietly, knowing she was mostly telling herself. 

Korra slammed her fist into the wall again. “If this is part of recovery, I fucking quit!”

“Please.. talk to Kuvira. Don’t give up.. please,” she whispered the last word.

“Just fucking leave already, Asami”. Her tone was dark and strained. “You can call Kya for all I care to make sure I made it to work and whatever. Just go”.

Asami reached for Korra’s back but decided against it. Choking back tears, she wanted to know one thing. “Will.. will I still see you tonight?”

“Yeah. Sure”.

Taking a breath she turned and left for work. Before driving away she pulled out her phone.

-how often do you and Bo fight?-

-over stupid things or big arguments?-

-big arguments-

-it’s really rare. Are you okay?-

-no. Bring lunch. I’ll tell my secretary I’m expecting you-

Wiping the tears away, she drove off.  
_________

Korra looked at the back of her hand, the only feeling she felt was the dull throb. 

‘Way to go, asshole. She gives you great morning shower sex and this is the thanks you give her?’

She pulled out her phone.

-Tahno, meet me...

She rubbed her face and erased the message.

Kuv, can you take me to work? I’m at Asami’s-

-not walking today?-

-can’t. If I do I’m going to buy again-

-I’m on my way-

She sat on the edge of the bed, head in her hands.

‘This is why you can’t ever get sober. You get too mad. You lash out. Even Asami is going to leave you at some point’.

“Shut up. Damn it all, shut up,” she muttered to herself, digging the heels of her hands into her temples.

‘You took this out on her. Don’t bother expecting to see her tonight’.

“Stop...” 

‘You don’t deserve someone as good as her. She’s only staying cause you fuck her right. She’ll eventually end up leaving you. She doesn’t really want you moving in’.

The tears were falling freely. “Please.. stop..”

-I’m here. Let’s go-

Wiping her eyes she stood and left the house, getting into her friend’s car.

“One, what happened to your hand? Two, are you safe to actually go to work and get home? And three, I can tell you’ve been crying. What’s going on?”

“I punched a wall. I’ll be fine. And it’s nothing. Let’s just go. I don’t want to talk”.

With a sigh, Kuvira started driving towards the shelter.

After the car was parked, Korra got out.

“Hey.. if you need a meeting-“

“Call you or whatever. I know. Later”. She closed the car door and walked into the shelter. 

“Korra? You’re late. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Kya. Call Asami. She’s at work”. She continued past Kya’s office and headed for the receiving bay.

Kya watched Korra walk off, knowing exactly where she was going. Picking up the phone, she called Future Industries.

“Thank you for calling Future Industries, can I direct your call?”

“Is Asami Sato available?”

“She should be. I’ll transfer you now”.

She rubbed her forehead as she waited for Asami to answer.

“Miss Sato speaking”. 

“Korra wanted me to call you?”

There was a pause on the other end before hearing her clear her throat. 

“Right. So she made it to work?”

“Late, but yes”.

“Good.. is uh... is she okay?” There was a clear waver in her voice.

“I honestly don’t know. She didn’t say anything other than to call you”.

“Right.. okay. Well.. thank you, Kya”. She ended the call.  
________

Korra was sitting amongst the boxes of supplies, head in hands when she heard footsteps approaching. 

“Go away, Kya. I need to be alone today,” she didn’t try to hide the tears in her voice.

“That’s the last thing you need right now. What’s going on? I know you’re not drunk. Even drunk Korra says a hello to Naga”. She sat next to her employee. “You’re basically family to me, Korra. I can tell when you’re in your head”.

A sob broke through Korra’s mouth. “I can’t do this anymore”.

“Can’t do what?”

“Stay sober, live, anything? I don’t know. I hurt everyone around me and push everyone away. Maybe it’s for the best if I just-“ she pulled her knees to her chest and broke down.

Kya wrapped her in a hug, not needing her to finish that sentence. “There are people who love you, Korra. I can’t even begin to understand how hard this is for you, but look at how far you’ve come”.

“I almost bought today.. before coming in”.

“But you didn’t. And that speaks for itself”.

“I think we’re fighting..” she wiped her eyes. “Asami and I”.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Her voice broke. “No..”

“Well... how about you go through some of these boxes, okay?”  
_________

Asami flipped the contract to the next page, only half reading. She saw the line she was supposed to sign on. 

‘I don’t even remember what half of this even said.’

Placing it off to the side, she stood and grabbed her coffee before walking to the window. 

‘She’s never snapped like that before. The anger is normal. It’s a withdrawal symptom’.

Sighing she walked back to her desk, the file still neatly stacked in the corner. “Southern tribe”. She felt the tears start falling again and tossed the contract into a drawer, deciding it can wait a little longer. Her phone rang. Clearing her throat and forcing the tears out of her voice, she answered.

“Miss Sato speaking”.

“Opal is here with your lunch ma’am”.

“Thank you,” she sighed. “Send her up”. She hung up, sitting at her desk.

-Korra, can we talk? Please?-

She rested her head in her arms on her desk. “That wasn’t like you...” she heard a soft knock. “Come in!”

Opal walked in and closed the door behind her, a pit in her stomach at the sight of her friend, broken. 

“I have a feeling you’re not actually hungry, are you?”

She shook her head, not sitting up.

“What happened?” She sat at the desk across from her friend, and started lightly rubbing her arm.

“She... she snapped, Opal,” she whispered as fresh tears began to fall.

“Did she hurt you?”

“No. Nothing like that. She wants to use again,” her voice broke. “She’s so angry all of a sudden. I don’t know what to do”.

“Well.. I think you should talk to Kuvira or my mom. Kuvira because she’s been in Korra’s shoes. My mom because.. she took a lot of Kuv’s anger. Especially early on”.

“I always forget you two are adopted siblings”. Taking a deep breath, she sat up. “I know anger is just another part of this. I just don’t know how such a sweet and tender morning became.. this”.

“I wish this was something I could help with. But... I can help with moving forward. You remember the first fight I had with Bo. I was a mess for a week, thinking he was just going to leave. Fights suck. But it’s bound to happen when you’re in a serious relationship”.

“I know. I love her, Opal. I don’t.. want to lose her. I’ve never felt like this for anyone”.

A smile came to her face. “Tell her”.

“What?! It’s.. it’s too soon for that. I already blurted that she should move in with me. Telling her I love her might just freak her out”.

“Back up. You asked her to move in but haven’t said those three words?”

“It just.. slipped”.  
________

Korra looked at her phone, heart sinking. The whole “can we talk” thing was never a good thing. She sat back down.

-if you want to break up just say so....  
‘No’. She erased the whole message.

Yeah. We can-

She unpacked a few more boxes before she heard Kya come in.

“I’m still breathing”.

“And you better keep that up when you get home”.

“What? It’s that time already?”

“Yeah. Just.. be safe, Korra”.

“I’ll.. do my best”.

-going home. Hope you’re not too mad and still want to come over-

She tried to shake the anxiety setting in while walking home. Stepping inside, she forced her feet to break habit. Instead of going to the kitchen, she went to her bedroom and laid in bed.

-I’m home-

She started going through her photos of the two of them, a sad smile on her face. Touching on one of her favorites, she started crying. “I love you. I just hope you let me fix this.. I’m sorry”.

“I... I’m going to give you that chance”. 

Korra tensed, but didn’t move. She had given Asami a key to her apartment weeks ago.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I don’t know why I got so angry. You didn’t do anything wrong”.

Asami sat on the edge of the bed. “It’s.. it’s part of recovery, Korra. I talked to Opal’s mom. Kuv was way worse than you are. Can... I lay down with you?”

She nodded, making room for her. 

Asami crawled into bed and pulled Korra close. “And.. I.. I love you too”.

“What? You heard that?” She rolled over in Asami’s arms.

Asami was quiet for a moment, reading the worry in her girlfriend’s eyes. “I did. I’ve been wanting to say it too. I.. didn’t know if it was too soon or not”. She stroked her cheek softly. “I do love you, Korra”.

She averted her gaze, speaking softly. “I really thought I lost you..”

“Fights.. are going to happen. It’s up to both of us to fix it and make up. A relationship, a true relationship, isn’t one sided. We’re both going to mess up and get upset with each other. It’s bound to happen”. She brushed the hair out of Korra’s face. “What’s important is that we come back together and work through it. You’ve.. never once spoke to me like that”.

Korra pressed her face to Asami’s shoulder. “I know.. and I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me. It was so sudden”. She let out a shaky breath, trying to fight the tears. “This is so hard. I’ve never made it this far. Every time I even got close, the anger would take over and I’d turn back”.

“Well.. did you?”

“A-actually.. no. I had Kuv take me to work and Kya wouldn’t leave me alone longer than two hours. Then I came home and decided laying down would be safest. But.. I really did think about it..”

She pressed a kiss to the top of Korra’s head. “I’m so proud of you”.

“I’m.. not done. I.. started considering suicide..”

Asami’s breath caught at the admission. She was silent as the tears poured over.

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you. I really, really thought we were done..”

“N-no.. Korra, I don’t care what the future has for us. I’ll always want you to tell me that. So many people care about and love you. But.. why, sweetheart?”

“My mind.. can be a mean and dark place. I was convinced you’re just going to up and leave one of these days. That everyone is just going to leave. That.. I hurt and ruin everything I get close to. The world doesn’t.. need that”. She felt Asami hold her tight as if she was going to disappear, shoulders shaking as she cried. “Asami? I’m here, babe. I didn’t go anywhere or do anything”. She wrapped her arm around her girlfriend. “I’m right here,” she whispered, voice starting to break.

“You.. you scare me sometimes, you know,” Asami sighed and cleared her throat. “The anger won’t be forever. The hurting won’t be forever. And I’ll be right here, by your side, every step of the way. Or if you need.. anything”.

She snuggled closer against her chest. “Right now all I need is you. And maybe a nap? Wait... shouldn’t you still be at work?”

“I took the rest of the day off”. She ran her fingers through Korra’s hair and sniffled softly. “I couldn’t focus on anything. Are you letting it grow out?”

Korra had closed her eyes, emotional exhaustion quickly turning to a physical exhaustion. “Hm?”

“Your hair”.

“Oh.. I dunno. I think right now I’m just getting lazy keeping up with it”.

She could feel Korra’s body slowly forcing her to sleep. Her breathing would slow, catch, and return to her awake rhythm. “You can get some rest”.

“Are you gonna go?”

She started rubbing Korra’s back gently. “No. I’ll be right here when you wake up”. She felt Korra’s body and breathing relax and give in to sleep moments later.  
_________

“You what?! I thought you said you haven’t talked to Korra in months!”

“Well I lied, okay?! I’m allowed to have friends. I’m an adult, Mako. And you’re not dad”.

“I’m just trying to protect you. Like I have since mom and dad died. And this is the thanks I get?! I have to stand and be your best man while my ex is also a part of your wedding party?”

“Well.. uh.. about that..”

Mako rubbed his temples. “There’s more?”

“Um.. both of your exes are going to be there? Asami is kinda Opal’s maid of honor”.

“Bo. Asami doesn’t want me near her. What the fuck?!”

“Well Korra doesn’t really want you around her either, yet you keep showing up”. He grabbed the sudden fist his brother threw at him. “Trust me bro, you don’t want to do this. You may be older, but I’m bigger and stronger”.

“Says you. I can’t believe you”.

“You know what? I can’t believe you. I knew you needed help, but seriously? Abusing women? Korra and Asami told me all I needed to hear”.

Rage flashed in Mako’s eyes. “And you’re going to believe a fucking junkie over your own brother?!” 

“By what I’m seeing right now.. yeah. Yeah, I am. Sorry, Mako”. He dodged another first thrown and landed his own squarely to his brother’s jaw, knocking him down. “Some cop you are. Figure.. this out or you can forget being my best man”.

Mako watched his brother leave, rubbing his jaw. 

‘Well.. fuck’.  
___________

Asami woke to the sun setting, Korra dead weight in her arms. 

‘How long did I sleep?’

She slowly pulled out her phone as to not wake her girlfriend.

-new message: Opal  
Please tell me you’re seated or at least not standing. This is going to either make you laugh so hard you fall, or shock you so bad you might pass out-

-what happened? Are you okay?-

-I’m fine. Bo punched Mako in the face-

Asami’s mouth fell open, not sure if she should laugh at the situation or smile in a small victory.

-he did what?! Why?-

-all Bo said is Mako started it so he finished it. How’s your lady doing? Did you two talk?-

-we talked. Tears were had. She’s dead asleep. I don’t want to wake her but she’s so warm. Almost too warm-

-okay. Gross-

-not like that! Get your head out of the gutter-

She felt Korra stir. “Babe?”

“Shhh. I’m right here. It’s the middle of the evening. Do you want anything to eat?”

“Mmmm you”. The sleep in her voice made it very clear she was still half asleep.

Asami rolled her eyes. “Go back to sleep and try again”.

“Mmmkay”.

Seconds later Korra was back to snoring softly. Asami stroked her hair gently. “I wish I could get into your head and destroy your demons.. believe it or not, you deserve to live and feel happiness”. She knew Korra was deep asleep, but saying those words out loud made her feel better, if only a little bit.

Closing her eyes, she felt the tears begin to fall and she pulled Korra impossibility closer. She was terrified she was going to lose the woman in her arms to her inner demons, but she’d be damned if she let it happen easily. It wasn’t an option. She’d go down swinging with her if she had to. She made her silent vow before drifting off to sleep.

The next time she woke, it was the early hours of the morning and she was alone in bed. She stood slowly, faintly being able to hear Korra talking, or was it yelling?, to someone. Quietly leaving the bedroom, she saw her girlfriend pacing around the living room on the phone. 

“Seriously, dad?! Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

Pause.

“Yes. We’re still coming. But-“

Pause.

“My uncle isn’t just going to roll over, you know this! Please just tell me this isn’t just some late revenge thing”.

Pause.

“He did what?!” Korra was suddenly furious.

Pause.

“What do you mean this isn’t my war to fight?! I’m still part of this Tribe, dad. Stop talking over me for a damn second! I understand you’re trying to protect me and our bloodline or whatever. But it’s probably going to end with me anyhow, considering who I’m dating”.

Pause.

“I didn’t think adoption was an option to keep our family name going. I’m sorry. I just.. don’t want to lose you”.

Pause. 

“You don’t know that. I’m.. going to try to get back to sleep. I love you”. She hung up and slumped onto the couch, rubbing her temples. 

All Asami could do was stand in the darkness of the hallway, hands over her mouth. 

‘He told her.. now I have to figure out that damn contract. Wait. Did she just hint at a possibility of marriage with me? And kids? What? No. Keep your mouth shut’.

“Sweetheart? Are you okay?” She finally got the courage to join Korra on the couch.

“I think so? I just had a rough conversation with my dad. Some serious Tribe bullshit”.

‘Oh, Korra. I know.’

“Are we still going next month?”

A smile finally came to her face. “Of course. I go every year. It’s.. kinda a big deal for us. They say when the southern lights start, we’re closer to loved ones that have passed and it’s easier to communicate with them. You’ll.. see what I mean”.

“That’s.. I love the sound of it already”.

“Come on, let’s get back to bed”.

“How on earth do you manage to sleep so much?” Asami stood, taking Korra’s hand.

“Who ever said anything about sleeping?” She stood with a wink, leading to the bedroom.

Asami felt her face grow warm. “O-oh. Well good morning to you too”.

“Unless.. you don’t want to. It’s your call”.

Asami laid down, pulling her girlfriend down on top of her. “Well.. try to get me in the mood then. If you can’t.. I’ll let you know,” she said winking.

“Oh, I’ll have you begging, baby,” she breathed before kissing her.

Asami moaned softly into her mouth. She enjoyed this side of Korra a little more than she’d admit to anyone. The gentle roughness she was capable of when in this specific kind of mood made Asami’s mind go blank, feeling nothing but hot desire and pleasure run through her body. This was the one way she enjoyed being on the bottom.

Korra bit at her lip and slowly made her way down her neck. She stopped and dug her teeth into the crook of her neck while, quite literally, ripping her shirt off.

‘Well that’s new.. good thing I didn’t care about that shirt much’.

Her hands were hot as she gently trailed her hands along Asami’s sides and just under her breasts. Arching her back into Korra’s touch, she let out a gasp when she felt Korra’s leg between her own. Her mind started to let the desire take hold, realizing she was suddenly very much in the mood.

Biting down into Asami’s collar bone, her hand found a breast and rolled her nipple between her fingers. She felt hands run down her back, grabbing at her shirt and slowly tugging it over her head. Asami noticed she was already without her chest wrap and gave her girlfriend a soft moan to the way she rolled her hips. She wasn’t going to beg. Not yet.

She knew Korra’s one rule when she was in this kind of mood: she wasn’t allowed to tease back. So as much as she wanted Korra to feel the pleasure she was receiving, she kept her hands off, opting to drag her nails down the muscular back of her girlfriend.

She let out a noise somewhere between a groan and a growl and she used her teeth to lightly tug on Asami’s nipple, earning a buck of her hips against her thigh. Continuing down, she left love bites along her stomach and a particularly dark one on her ribs. She hooked her fingers into the top Asami’s pants, pulling them off slowly while biting down on her hip. 

She trailed her lips back up, stopping briefly to flick her tongue over a nipple. Asami arched her back, pressing her hips into Korra’s leg. She wasn’t going to beg. Not yet. 

Korra reached around Asami’s lower back, roughly bringing their hips together. She let out a gasp of pleasure and pain as Korra bit down on the nipple she was previously attending to tenderly.

‘Did her dad really piss her off this ba- ohhhh fuck’.

Korra had drug her teeth along the nipple in her mouth before gently nibbling on the on the top of Asami’s ear.

“K-Korra..” she moved her hips, trying for friction, but Korra’s grip was too strong to allow for too much movement. She was starting to ache with need. 

“What’s that, baby?” She was whispering in her in ear. “What do you want?” She pressed her leg tighter between her girlfriend’s legs.

She wasn’t going to beg. She wasn’t going to cave just yet. So instead of completely giving in, she let a drawn out moan leave her lips.

Pressing their bodies together, Korra kissed her deeply, more teeth and anything else. She slowly moved off Asami, receiving a whimper of protest, and slid her pants and underwear off. Her eyes trailed over her girlfriend, a smirk forming when she noticed her panties were soaked. 

“Babe.. enough of the standing and smiling... come back”. Her voice was more pleading than she had hoped.

She crawled back onto bed, gently easing Asami’s legs wider. “What’s wrong? Is it starting to hurt?” She pressed her tongue flat against the wet spot on her panties, humming softly.

Sucking in a breath, she bucked her hips into Korra’s mouth. She knew that wasn’t supposed to happen as soon as Korra pressed her hips into the bed, stilling her movement. Fighting against her hands when she felt Korra gently bite down on her clit, she felt her mouth move away.

“Hmmm. You gotta ask nicely,” Korra’s voice was teasing, yet still laced with her own desire. Painstakingly slow, she pulled Asami’s panties off and tossed them to the floor before lightly trailing her hands up the inside of her thighs. 

‘Don’t beg’. Asami tried to repeat over and over to herself.

“You want this bad, don’t you?” She whispered, slowly running her thumb across her dripping folds.

Asami gripped the sheets, trying to force her hips to remain still. Her mind went blank, only able to focus on the thumb slowly toying with her lower lips.

Pressing her head into the pillow, she let out a long, almost frustrated moan.

“Korra.. p-please..”

The hand between her legs was suddenly missing, replaced with muscled thighs pressed to the backs of her own. Opening her eyes, she found herself staring into lust and love filled blues. “Please what, darling?”

“I-I need you”.

“You have me. For as long as you want me”. She placed a gentle kiss to Asami’s lips.

“Spirits, Korra..” she groaned, raising her hips to press herself against Korra’s lower stomach.

Korra pressed her own hips down roughly, earning a gasp from her girlfriend. “Again, please what, Miss Sato?” A warm hand slowly started trailing down Asami’s stomach.

‘Don’t beg. Don’t beg. Don’t-‘

She wrapped her arms around Korra’s shoulders, pulling her close. “Please... p-please fuck me”.

“Good girl,” Korra whispered into her ear, slowly sliding two fingers in to the knuckle without resistance. She started a slow pace, rolling her hips into the back of her hand as Asami locked her legs around her. 

Moaning into Korra’s ear, she started bucking her hips quicker into her hand. Korra’s fingers and hips continued at the slow pace. “Use your words”.

“F-faster..”

More than happy to oblige, she matched her pace with the woman under her, hooking her fingers slightly. She moaned against Asami’s neck as she adjusted slightly to be able to rub her own clit against the back of her hand. 

Feeling Asami rake her nails down her back, she slipped a third finger in and hooked them roughly into her front wall with a hard buck of her hips. She continued the quick and rough pace as Asami whispered her name between moans and gasps of pleasure. Feeling the wave of bliss about to crash over her, she slightly quickened the pace of her fingers to match her hips. A couple rolls of her hips, and her body tensed while her legs trembled with a silent scream and Asami’s name barely a whisper. She slid her fingers out, feeling Asami was close to her edge and received a whimper.

“Korra! Wha-“ she was silenced with a kiss. 

“Relax, babe. I’m not finished with you yet”. She began trailing kisses down her stomach. She nipped at the inside of her thigh as Asami slightly wiggled her hips. 

As soon as Korra’s mouth closed around her clit, she knew she wasn’t going to last much longer. She fisted her hands in Korra’s hair, pulling her impossibly closer as she felt all three fingers return inside her. Feeling Korra’s tongue press against her clit in a slow lick, she bucked her hips, crying out as she came back down on hooked fingers.

Korra hummed against her clit, quickening the flick and circles of her tongue. She gave her fingers a few quick and hard flutters against Asami’s front wall. Pressing her tongue flat against her clit she felt Asami’s walls clamp down as she fell over the edge with a loud moan. She didn’t stop there, continuing to thrust her fingers quickly with a last second hook each time. 

Holding Asami’s leg open with her free hand, she gently sucked on her now extremely sensitive clit, keeping the pace of her fingers. She felt Asami tense and suddenly sit up with a scream, nails digging into her scalp as another powerful orgasm tore through her. Korra finally let go of her clit and rested her head on a shaking thigh, slowing her fingers to help her ride out the waves. 

She looked up at her girlfriend with a smile as she removed her fingers, licking them clean before wiping her mouth and chin. “I love you, ‘Sami”.

Asami fell back to the bed, trying to slow her breathing when Korra crawled up beside her, wrapping her in her arms.

“I love you too,” she whispered between breaths.

“You okay?” Her voice held concern, not knowing if it was too much.

“I’m.. more than okay, Korra. I know you didn’t say anything about sleeping more.. but I could at least use a nap now”. She cuddled closer into Korra’s arms.

“Sure thing, babe”. She traced random patters over Asami’s back as she fell asleep in her arms. Moments later, Korra felt herself drift off with a content sigh.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The girls start their trip and we find out more of Korra’s past. Korra also finds out a fact about her girlfriend she never thought to ask about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot more drug use and some self harm. Don’t worry, it’s in flashbacks. Korra is doing so much better. Mostly fluff mixed with angst.

Asami was sitting at the desk in her home office, lightly tapping the pen to her lips. The Tribe was asking for a full arsenal, docked a mile from the city. War wasn’t a guarantee, but a likely possibility. This was the third time she had read the contract. 

‘This shouldn’t be such a hard decision. On one hand... these people need the supplies. On the other... I follow my father’s footsteps and profit off war. Would this be such a hard decision if I wasn’t dating Korra? I mean.. probably. I would still be stuck between helping those who need supplies and following my father’.

Her door swung open suddenly to a very happy? Korra.

“Babe, I did it! I won my first legal fight in years! Well.. it was technically a spar but all the rules and regulations were added to make it as close to a real fight as possible- are you okay?”

“I just.. wasn’t expecting you to come flying in here”. Her brain had finally caught up with what Korra had enthusiastically said. “But that’s fantastic news! I’m so proud of you for how far you’ve come with everything. Did they say anything about you going back to fighting full time?”

“Unfortunately, no. Bumi is still a little hesitant. Apparently winning once doesn’t mean I’m ready to really get back into it”. A small pout formed on her face as she made her way to the desk.

“Well.. what is he hesitant with aside from a single win under your belt?” 

‘That pout is too cute’.

Korra sat on the edge of the desk. “Mostly my footwork still. And that I need to work on my defensive fighting. So.. you know I hate it when you bring work home. You sure it can’t wait until you go to the office or until we get back from the South?”

‘Bringing work to my home or our home? Asami, no. She said she’d bring up moving in when she was ready’.

“I know. This one is just.. really important”. 

Korra tried to read what she could around Asami’s arm covering the page. “Oh, is that whatever my dad wants?”

Asami closed the file. “You know I can’t let you read that”.

Rolling her eyes, she reached for the file. “But I’m kinda the heiress”.

Asami swatted her hand away. “Heiress or not, I don’t have permission from your father to share this with anyone”.

“Come on, babe. Can I at least have a hint?”

“As my girlfriend, I hate keeping this from you and I’d love to tell you all about it. But as the CEO of a company, I legally can’t. I’m sorry”. She put the file into her desk. “But.. it’s likely to do with whatever you were talking to your dad about a month ago”.

Korra’s face fell and was silent for a moment, processing. “What? He’s.. he’s asking for weapons and war machines? From.. you?”

“I think we need to talk”.

“But you can’t..”

“Korra, I can’t tell you everything that’s involved. But... what’s in that contract includes sections for what he talked to you about. I.. I’ve been trying to come to a decision for months. I wanted to ask for your input, but I didn’t know how much you knew. And I’m trying to be unbiased-“

“Unbiased?! How can you be unbiased with this? With.. us? And you knew?! This whole time and didn’t tell me?!” She knew she was starting to raise her voice. 

Asami placed her hand on Korra’s knee. “Let me finish before you start getting mad. Sweetheart, I would be in the same position even if I never knew you. I’m stuck between helping a group of people that need it and following in my father’s footsteps and profiting off war”.

Korra was silent for a moment, trying to get her temper under control. “But.. but he started those wars so he could make a profit, right?”

“Yes”.

“Then you’re not following his path if you sign. You weren’t the one to start this war for money. This is just.. the Chief asking for help”.

Asami nodded slowly. “I’m still going to have to think on it. I’ve always hated seeing the company involved in wars”.

Korra gave the hand on her knee a soft squeeze before hopping off the desk. “It’s your choice in the end. And whatever you choose, I’ll still love you. Come on, let’s go take a walk or something. Clear both of our heads a bit”.  
_______

Lin kicked the desk. “Wake up, detective!”

Mako shot to his feet, saluting. “Good morning, chief”.

“It’s never a good morning around here. What are you, a rookie?”

“No, ma’am. I apologize”.

She rolled her eyes. “Stop being so stiff. Did you really sleep here last night?”

Mako sat in his chair with a sigh. “Yeah”.

“Then I hope you have something for me”.

“Um.. just a couple petty thefts came through over night. And a drug bust”.

Lin raised her eyebrow. “And where would those drugs and felons be exactly?”

“Errr.. um. They got away?”

“Mako. Is this about Korra?”

He put his head in his hands, knowing he was caught. “Yes, ma’am”.

She slammed her hand on his desk. “You’ve been at this for well over a year, nearly two. Why do you keep trying?”

Mako stood abruptly. “Because she’s using! For all we know she could be dealing too! When are you going to do something?!”

Lin squared up to him. “Stand down, detective. You’ve been using every excuse you can find to get us to throw her behind bars. Some of the things you’ve said are true, but not entirely criminal”.

“You’re still doing nothing?! Even when I’ve given you proof?!” He slammed his fist into the desk.

“It’s still not entirely criminal. If we go after her for petty shit, we’re going to have to go after you too”.

He felt is blood run cold. “Excuse me?”

“I know, Mako. I know everything that happened. And after this outburst, effective immediately, you are to attend counseling until you’re cleared. Hand over your badge. It will be returned to you upon completion of an acceptable psychiatric evaluation. I’ve let this go on too long”.

Mako took his badge off and set it on the desk. “I’m guessing this isn’t an option?”

“Absolutely not. Now get out of this department and get help”.

He gave a weak salute, grabbed his coat and left for his house.  
____________

Korra decided to take Asami to the park. They took the path leading to the pond when she saw him and stopped in her tracks.

‘Shit’.

She grabbed Asami’s hand tightly. “We.. need to go”.

Asami turned, concern on her face. “What’s wrong?”

Korra gave a short nod in Mako’s direction. “It’s like I can never just be happy without him coming in to ruin it”.

She looked over and saw him walking towards them, hands in pockets and head down.

‘Try it. I fucking dare you’.

He accidentally bumped shoulders with Asami, his apology no more than a grunt.

“Way to say sorry, asshole!” 

Mako stopped. “I’m not in the mood, Korra. Go take a line”.

“She’s sober, you know”.

He visibly tensed and turned slowly, raising his gaze. “What.. what the hell is this? Did Bo make you two run into me here?”

“Um... no? Just trying to enjoy a walk together, but it seems like you just can’t stay out of my life”.

“I’m really not in the mood for this”. He turned to walk away. “Are you actually sober or is... Miss Sato just covering for you?”

“Just about a few months clean. I.. rarely even drink too”.

“Good”. He started to walk away.

“Let me know what you try to lock me up for next!”

He fisted his hands in his pockets but kept walking. He couldn’t do this here.

Korra suddenly covered her mouth and knelt down as a quiet sob tore through her. Asami quickly knelt down next to her, pulling her close.

‘Two painful traumas. First she’s almost murdered, then someone she thought loved her, beats her. You’re safe with me now, Korra’.

She kissed the top of Korra’s head softly. “Do you want to go home?”

“Can we.. please?” It was a little more than a whisper. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to have a nice walk with you and then he has to come along..”

Asami got Korra to her feet and started their walk to her house in silence.  
___________

“So... what should I expect?”

“What?”

“When we get to your Tribe. Are there any arrival customs I should be worried about”.

Korra gave a soft laugh. “Don’t touch the snow. It’ll hold you hostage”.

“Babe, I’m being serious”.

She stretched out on the couch, resting her head on Asami’s lap. “It’s cold. Don’t worry about that though. There’s plenty of ways to stay warm and you get used to it. Other than that... if it’s a formal meal, dad speaks first about the occasion and usually tells everyone when it’s time to eat. It’s a lot harder to offend us compared to the uh... Northern Tribe. It’s a long story. Like.. thousands of years worth of stories on why our overall Tribe is split the way it is”.

Asami started playing with a lock of Korra’s hair. “Aren’t you nervous?”

She looked up into Asami’s eyes. “I’ve had a girlfriend before. I was like 15 or something. My parents are super accepting”.

Asami was quiet as she watched realization wash over Korra’s face. 

‘They know I have a girlfriend. But they don’t know exactly who. Fuck’.

“You never told them my name, did you?”

“Uh.. Nope? Don’t be upset..”

“I’m not. Just.. a little nervous. Especially with the contract...”

Korra turned her head and placed a kiss to Asami’s stomach. “Don’t worry about the contract. This is a vacation, not a business trip for you. If... he tells me anything else about my uncle or whatever is happening, I’ll tell you”.

She closed her eyes, relaxing as Asami played with her hair. A small smile touched Asami’s lips. This was one of her many favorite parts of her girlfriend. It’s not often enough that she’s completely relaxed. She takes these few rare moments to study Korra’s features, the way her jaw isn’t clenched. The soft smile at the corners of her mouth. Placing a hand gently on her stomach, she studied the relaxed expand and contract of her ribs. This was definitely one of many facets of Korra she loved.

She started tracing random patterns over Korra’s stomach. “Sweetheart?”

“Hmm?”

“How does the whole Southern Lights thing work?”

Korra opened her eyes, catching Asami’s gaze. She wasn’t sure what was going through her mind, but she could see a hurt within.

“Well... everyone does it a little different. My mom will usually sit by a fire, speaking to her loved ones silently. My dad will go off and find a secluded place to talk to his. It’s whatever... feels right I guess”.

“What about you? Who do you talk to every year? And.. how? I’m sorry if this is too personal”.

She gave Asami a warm smile. “It’s fine. I usually go sit by a certain cliff, I’ll show you when we’re there, and talk to my grandpa. My mom’s dad”.

“Do.. do you think they hear you?” Asami had tears beginning in the corners of her eyes. 

“Of course. I think they hear us all the time. It’s just.. easier during the Lights. And sometimes, they send us signs too. Babe? What’s wrong?” Korra sat up and pulled Asami into her arms.

Asami started crying into her shoulder. “Korra.. I miss my mom”.

‘Oh shit. She’s never mentioned her mom before. And the questions about the Lights.. fuck’.

“I’m.. so sorry”. She started stroking her hair. “I didn’t know. You never mentioned her and I didn’t ever think to ask why. I didn’t want to pry”. She gave a kiss to Asami’s temple. “Do you want to talk about it? About her?”

“She.. she was killed. During one of the wars my father started”. A soft sob shook her shoulders. “He blamed what he deemed the enemy for her death. He couldn’t accept it was one of his own.. so called soldiers”. She gripped onto Korra tighter. “I was there, Korra. I couldn’t do anything. I was only 6”.

Korra felt her heart sink. Her amazing and selfless girlfriend had nothing left of a family besides a company with a shady past. She was only 6, too young to know the reality of what was happening. Too young to know she was next to bear the weight of an empire her father built and corrupted. Too young to lose her mother.

Korra wrapped her arms tighter around her. “I’m so incredibly sorry. I know it’s not much and you’ve probably heard that a million times. Your mom... she’d be so proud of the woman you are now. I’m sure she’s up in the stars, smiling down at you. You took a corrupt company and turned it around. You’re so brilliant and talented-“

“Korra.. do you think I could participate?”

“What? Of course. It’s.. for anyone who wants to”.

“I don’t want to intrude on customs”. She pulled back, wiping her eyes.

Korra held her chin gently, holding the gaze of the emerald eyes now in front of her. “Some of our customs aren’t limited to the Tribe, okay? Especially something so personal. Everyone is allowed to participate. It would be awfully shitty for us to say we’re the only ones allowed to talk to passed loved ones”.

‘Finally.. a smile. It’s small, but it’s there’.

“I love you, Korra. Thank you. For everything”.

“I love you. So much more than I think you realize”. She gave Asami a tender kiss.  
________

“Do you two have everything?”

“Yes, Opal. We do. And thanks for dropping us off at the airport”. Asami gave her friend a hug. 

“Text us when you get there, okay?”

Korra rolled her eyes. “We’re only going to be gone for a couple weeks, Bo. But yes, I’ll text you. Keep me updated with Bumi’s crazy ideas and stories”.

“Well, duh. He’s had some pretty good ones lately”.

“Don’t remind me,” Korra laughed.

“Alright, Bo. You’re gonna make them miss their flight if you keep talking”.

Bolin hung his head slightly. “Yes, dear.. bye guys.”

“Whipped,” Korra coughed.

“Hey! I heard that!”

Asami took Korra’s hand. “We’ll see you two in a couple weeks”. 

They watched as the other couple made their way to their terminal. 

“The light is back her eyes”.

Opal smiled. “That it is. And she’s actually laughing again”.

Bolin put his arm around his fiancé. “I’m still worried about her, though. It’s only been a few months..”

“I know. Remember the last time she tried to quit? She always had a darkness still in her eyes. This time is different”.  
_________

“Honey! The girls’ flight just took off!” 

“So, what? About 14 hours? Gives me just enough time for a hunt”.

“Tonraq, you know you don’t have to”.

“What? Our daughter is bringing home a woman she loves”. He folded his arms. “You know what your dad said when you brought me home”.

“That if you even had thoughts about breaking my heart, he was going to use you as sea lion bait? Or that it’s always good to have fresh meat on the table for the one your daughter loves? Because I remember both”.

“I... like to remember that second one”. 

Senna laughed. “Just be safe. I love you”.

Wrapping his wife in a hug, he kissed her cheek. “I will. I love you too”. He grabbed his hunting gear and was on his way.  
__________

Asami nudged Korra awake. “We’re about to land”.

“I hate landing,” she groaned and adjusted her head on Asami’s shoulder. 

Korra gripped Asami’s hand as the plane touched down and came to a slow stop.

“It’s beautiful,” Asami breathed, looking out the window.

Korra rolled her eyes. “It’s an airport. Just wait until you see the city. Though... it doesn’t compare to you”.

She stood, blushing. No matter how many times Korra called her beautiful, she still got butterflies every time. “Come on. Let’s go. I’m sure your parents are waiting to see you”.

Korra stood and took her hand as they walked off the plane. After grabbing their luggage, they headed into the main area of the airport to look for Korra’s parents. 

Korra saw them first and took off at a run, jumping into her dad’s arms. Asami watched from a distance, a sad smile on her face.

‘If only’.

Asami joined the trio quietly, not wanting to interrupt the reunion as her girlfriend wrapped her mom in a hug, kissing her cheek. She noticed Tonraq had turned in her direction, hand extended.

“Miss Sato. It’s a pleasure to see you”. 

She took his hand and shook it. “Likewise, chief”.

“Mom, dad. This.. is my girlfriend”.

Tonraq let go of Asami’s hand and looked between the two. “Korra...”

“I know, I know. I should have told you. But we wanted to be sure about this.. about us. And she’s nothing like her father. She’s so sweet and caring and-“

“Korra! I wasn’t going to say anything like that. I’m... proud of you”. He grabbed her by the shoulders, glancing at his wife who had pulled Asami into a hug. “We know she’s turned her company around. But all that matters is that she makes you happy. After all you’ve been through... you deserve this. I haven’t seen this kind of light in your eyes in years”. 

Turning to Asami, he pulled her into a hug after Senna had let go. “And please, call me Tonraq. You take care of my daughter. You clearly make her happy, and she deserves that”.

She looked over at Korra, who had been embraced by her mom again, with a smile.

‘Yes. Yes she does’.

“Don’t worry. I’ll do everything I can”.

“Well, let’s get you two home”. Senna held Korra’s shoulders gently. “You girls are probably tired and jet lagged. It’s a long flight”.

Korra pulled on her coat and gloves after giving Asami her extra coat, gloves, and a fur vest. “You’re not used to this kind of cold, so... I recommend the furs first, then the coat”.

Asami pulled the vest on, slightly confused by a long piece of fur on the side.

Chuckling, Korra took her gloves off to help her girlfriend. “Here. Let me show you”. She buttoned the top three buttons and wrapped the long piece of the vest around her waist, securing it with another button before putting her gloves back on. “Sorry. It can be a little complicated, our clothing. But it’ll keep you warm”.

Asami pulled on the coat, taking Korra’s hand after pulling her gloves on. “Aren’t you going to be cold?” 

“Nah. We’re used to it. We only really bundle up if we’re going to be out at night, there’s overcast skies, or during a snowstorm”. She felt her dad take the luggage out of her hand that wasn’t in Asami’s. “Dad! I can get it!”

“Let me. You’re on vacation. You ready?”

She looked to Asami who gave her a nod. “Ready”.  
__________

They got to the house about an hour later, Asami asleep on Korra’s shoulder in the back seat.

“Welcome home, sweetie. Not much has changed in the past year. You know... you can come down more often”.

“I know, mom. I’ve been..”

‘Too drunk and high to do much’.

“... starting to train again. It’s been taking up a lot of my time”.

“That’s great news! We were wondering if you’d ever go back to it. Let’s get inside and you two can settle in”. Her and Tonraq got out of the car, the girls’ luggage in hand and started to the door.

Korra nudged Asami awake gently. “We’re here babe. I’m gonna take our things to my room. My mom and dad will probably want to feed us before we get some rest”.

“Food sounds so good right about now”. 

They got out of the car and headed inside. “You know.. it really is beautiful here, Korra. Cold.. but the landscape is absolutely breathtaking”.

Korra smiled, closing the door behind them. “I’ll be back down soon”. She took the luggage and started towards her room.

“Food will be ready in 10 minutes, Korra”.

“Sounds good, dad. Be nice to her for those few minutes,” she called back. 

Korra opened the door to her room and froze. Looking around, she saw the many empty liquor bottles by her bed, a few pill bottles on the nightstand, and several empty bags on her desk. 

‘Shit’.

Walking in, she closed the door behind her and dropped the luggage next to her dresser. Bracing her hands on the dresser, she saw a couple syringes on top. 

‘At least they left my room alone while I was gone. Was I really this bad a year ago?’

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she made her way to her bathroom. Flipping on the light, she suddenly lost her appetite. Sure enough, one side of the mirror was still broken and there was a blood stain on the shower curtain. 

‘This is bad. This is so bad’.

“Korra!” She heard her dad’s booming voice from downstairs.

“C-coming!” She called back. Turning the bathroom light off, she ran a hand through her hair.

‘Fuck.’

She made her way back down to the dining room and took a seat next to Asami, hoping like hell she didn’t look as bad as she was feeling. Trying to figure out a way to explain the situation to her girlfriend, she made herself a plate in silence. 

“Korra? Are you okay?”

“What? Yeah. I’m good”.

“Korra”.

“Dad, I’m fine. Just.. thinking. About the lights and all that. A-anything new with the festival this year?” She needed to change the subject of if she was okay. Because, no, at this moment she was not. 

“Not really, no. Your mom told me you’ve been training for the ring again. Glad you’re getting back to it”. 

Korra forced a smile and felt Asami squeeze her knee under the table in concern. “Me too. It’s been a long time coming. I just had to figure some things out after... everything. I always thought my back injury wouldn’t allow it”.

‘Lie.’

“Katara had said you healed fine”.

“I just didn’t want to risk it. I was nervous but finally decided I would never know if I didn’t try.”

‘Lie.’

She finished her meal and covered Asami’s hand with her own. “I’m.. uh.. kinda tired. Long flight and all. I’m gonna go lay down”. Kissing Asami’s cheek, she stood and headed to her room.

“Is.. she okay?” Senna asked softly.

“She should be. Probably really tired”. Asami forced the concern from her voice. “It was a long flight after all”.

“And it is getting late. We’ll let you go get some rest too. Sleep well, Miss S- Asami”. Tonraq patted her on the shoulder.

Korra was sitting on the edge of her bed, head in hands. There was no way she had enough time to clean this mess up.  
~~~~~~  
Korra had told her parents she was going to her spot to sit under the Southern Lights before going home. Instead, she was staggering down a dark street with only the Lights casting a faint glow. She heard a whistle come from behind a building. Going to where the sound had come from, she met with one of the few dealers of the Tribe. 

“Didn’t think the chief’s daughter would actually show. Or is it to turn me in?”

“Shut it. I told you I needed this”. She held out a small bundle of cash. “As long as this stays between us, I won’t say a word”.

He took the money and put several bags of different drugs in her hand. “I wouldn’t use all of this tonight unless you want to be dead”. 

“It’s going to get me through the rest of my stay”. She snatched the syringes from his other hand.

“Those are clean. Fresh needles”.

“Thanks”. She stumbled off towards her parents’ house. 

She closed the door quietly, knowing her parents were asleep and went to her room, locking the door and tossing the bags and syringes onto her dresser. Looking into the mirror in her bathroom, all she saw was a drunken stare. So little life in the blue eyes starting back. The tired expression clear she needed more sleep than she was ever going to get unless she was dead. She drove her fist into the face staring back at her.

Walking back to her room, she grabbed a bag and a syringe and sat at her desk. She pulled her shirt and chest wrap off with a deep sigh.

‘First for everything’.

She pulled out a single dose vial and stared at it for a moment before drawing up the contents. Setting the full syringe down, she grabbed her chest wrap and used it as a tourniquet around her arm. 

‘What am I doing?’

She uncapped the needle with her teeth and with a sigh, stuck it into a vein and pushed the plunger. Taking the needle out, she applied pressure to her arm after undoing her makeshift tourniquet. 

‘No going back. At least I’ll actually sleep’.

She woke to a knock on her door. “Korra? Are you coming down for lunch?”

-lunch? Was I really out that long?-

“Yeah. I’ll be down”. Sitting up she rubbed her head with a shaking hand.

‘Still breathing. Cool’.

Flicking the cap off a half empty bottle of vodka, she reached into her nightstand and pulled out a bottle of narcotics. She dumped a few into her mouth and washed the pills down. Slowly she got off the bed and went down to the kitchen, cut hand from the mirror in her pocket.

“Are you feeling okay, dear?”

“Mom, I’m fine”.

Tonraq crossed his arms. “You don’t look fine. Have you not been sleeping well?”

“Not really, no”.

“Go try to eat some lunch. Please. We’re... worried about you”.

“Got it.”  
~~~~~~

‘Oh this is bad. Very, very bad’.

“Korra? Are you okay?”

‘Fuck’.

Korra looked up as Asami cracked the door open. “Sweetheart?”

Clearing her throat, she managed to get out, “you can come in. Just... prepare yourself. It’s bad. Very bad”.

She felt stuck to the bed as Asami walked in and closed the door. She heard a small gasp and suddenly felt incredibly sick.

“K-Korra.. what..?”

“This.. it’s from last year”. Her voice was quiet and guilt ridden. “I.. have no excuse. For any of it. I didn’t even remember..” she placed a hand over her mouth to quiet a sob that was about to break free. 

“I thought you said you were on and off drugs for a few years. Were you actually ever off?” Her tone came out harsher than she had hoped and winced slightly for her girlfriend.

Korra hugged herself, trying desperately to not let the tears fall. “I was. I quit shortly after I got back to the city. But.. I started drinking more to cover for the high. And then.. you know the rest..” her voice trailed off.

Asami sat next to Korra and started rubbing her back gently. “We can get this cleaned up in the morning if you want. Are you okay?”

“I’m.. fine. I didn’t want you to see this”. She hung her head.

“That was then, Korra. Going from all of.. this to being sober in a year.. it’s incredible”. She pulled Korra’s head against her shoulder and held her for a moment in silence. 

“You’re mad, aren’t you?” Korra’s voice was barely a whisper.

“What? No. I just.. wasn’t sure what to say. Is this why you were upset at dinner?” Asami pulled her closer.

She nodded slowly. “I dropped our stuff off in here and forgot how I left my room a year ago. And then I realized you were going to have to see it and just how bad I was. Also.. part of the mirror in the bathroom is broken. And,” her voice cracked slightly, “there’s a blood stain on the shower curtain”.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now if you don’t want to”. 

“I was just giving you a warning so.. yeah.. um.. do you want to get some sleep? Is it too cold in here? I can grab another blank-“

“It’s fine. Relax”. She held Korra’s face gently. “You’re something of a space heater, you know. So unless for some reason you’re the one that’s cold, I won’t need an extra blanket. And don’t change the subject if this is something you need to talk about. I’d love for some sleep though”.

“That flight getting to you too?” Korra knew that wasn’t the only reason she was tired. She kicked her boots off and crawled under the blanket, opening it for Asami to join. 

“It most definitely is”. She yawned as she took her boots off and laid next to Korra. “I don’t know how I’d be cold under all this fur, honestly”.

“I can flip the blanket if you need me to. I just prefer it fur side down”. Korra pulled her close, not minding being the big spoon to keep her girlfriend warm.

Asami hummed softly, closing her eyes and holding the hand that was curled up against her chest. “No. This is perfect”.

Korra gave a soft kiss to her shoulder. “I love you”.

Already feeling sleep take over, Asami mumbled, “I love you too”.

‘Unfortunately, I probably won’t be getting much sleep. Not after remembering.. everything’.  
~~~~~~~

Korra was set to fly back to the city around midday the next day. She felt slightly guilty for spending most of the day in her room, but she knew she couldn’t take the last of the drugs onto the plane. So she continued to sit at her desk, leg bouncing while she stared at the last syringe and vial.

‘I’ll quit when I go back. But I’ve said that before and always find my way back to this shit. If I take this now, I’ll be asleep within an hour and be able to wake up in time for my flight. But it’s only 5 in the evening. They’re going to want me down for dinner’.

Groaning, she took another drink of rum. Grabbing a bag, she dumped the last bit of coke onto her desk and formed a line. 

‘It’s not much, but it’ll do for now’ 

After taking the line, she sat back in the chair and stared at the ceiling. Her mind was blank as she waited for the drug to hit. She wanted to feel happy again. Her dad’s voice from the other side of the door snapped her out of her trance.

“Dinner’s ready”. There was a tone of sadness. 

She remembered suddenly that she barely spent time with them all day. The guilt was starting to set in again. She couldn’t deal with that right now.

“I’m coming”. She took a few big gulps of the rum and stood, popping a few mints in her mouth. 

‘I’m so sorry’.

She walked down to the dining room, easily concealing her drunken state after years of practice. Making her plate, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

“We’re worried about you, Korra. Please.. talk to someone when you get back. Katara’s son, Tenzin, is a fantastic mental health provider”.

“What are you saying, mom? That I’m insane?”

“No, honey. I’m saying... you’re not sleeping well and you’re barely eating”. She glanced at the plate in Korra’s hand. “You just.. need to find the help to get you past this. It’s been over two years now. You haven’t gone back to your MMA career and-“

“Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe, I gave up on that when I was almost killed?! I was too high profile. They targeted me for some reason! I have to get my name out of everyone’s mouth”.

‘I’m also high or drunk or both every waking minute’.

“Don’t yell at your mother like that. What’s gotten into you?”

“I don’t want to talk about this. Fine. I’ll go see Tenzin”. She sat at the table and at least attempted to eat. 

Tonraq cleared his throat. “So.. has that boy still been bothering you?”

“Not any better of a topic”.

“Anyone you’re interested in, then?”

‘Who the fuck would even want someone like me?’

“Nope”.

Tonraq sighed, opening his mouth to ask his daughter anything to get her to talk.

“Are you still working at the shelter?” Senna cut him off. 

“Uh.. yeah. I actually pulled a dog off the adoption list and made her the shelter’s mascot about a month or so ago. She’s the sweetest. I’m hoping to get a bigger place so I can adopt her myself”.

Senna caught a faint glimmer in Korra’s eyes. “What kind of dog is she?” She asked, trying to keep that faint light a little longer.

“She’s a mutt. I’m pretty sure a Great Pyrenees mix. The staff take turns taking her home for the weekends”. The glimmer left her eyes and Senna knew that conversation was done. 

Korra noticed her leg started bouncing again. She was getting antsy as the coke started peaking. Finishing her meal, she excused herself to go for a walk. 

As soon as she made it out the door, she broke into a run. She let her feet lead her to wherever they wanted to go. Slowing, she walked up a door and knocked. A young man answered.

“Korra?”

“Is your sister home?”

“Uh.. yeah. She’s in her room”.

‘You could just have him fuck you senseless. He’s cute enough. Eh. I may be bi, but I prefer women. And his sister is hot as hell. And that thing she does with her fingers...’

“Cool. Thanks”. She brushed by him, going to her friend’s room, knocking softly before entering and closing the door.

“Korra! Hey! How are you?”

“I’m alright. I’m.. leaving tomorrow”.

“Bummer. Are you high again?”

“Yup”. She was the only one in the Tribe, other than her dealers, who knew of her problem.

“You really gotta stop doing this”. Her friend came up to her and slowly ran her hands down her front, unbuttoning her coat as she went.

“It doesn’t seem like you want this to stop”.

“I’m saying that as your friend, not your fuck buddy”.

“Are you sure there’s no strings attached with this?”

“Of course. You’re amazing sex, but I don’t have those kinds of feelings for you”.

“Good”. It was all she needed to hear before letting her friend have her way with her.  
_________

She returned home, the high nearly gone. The cravings were starting to creep up to her. “I’m gonna get some rest. Long flight tomorrow”.

Her father blocked her path. “We haven’t seen you all day. What’s going on?”

“Just... getting ready to go back to the city”. Pushing by her dad, she felt her arm grabbed by her dad’s strong hand. 

“We miss you, Korra”. She knew those were referring to how she was before.

‘That Korra is dead and gone’.

“I’m trying, dad. It’s just.. a lot. I still have nightmares and I’m just.. I’m scared”.

‘And I can’t feel a damn thing anymore’.

“I can’t imagine what all of that has done to your mind. Please, if not for yourself, go see Tenzin for your mom. I only want my little girl happy again”.

She gave him a hug, forcing the tears down.

“I’m trying”.

“I know. Try to get some sleep, okay?” He let go of her arm and let her continue to her room.

She barely made it to the bathroom, falling to her knees to vomit into the toilet. She retched and felt her body decide there wasn’t anything left to bring up. Flushing the toilet, she pulled herself to the edge of the tub and sat down. 

‘I can’t do this. There’s no way I can carry a whole Tribe when I can’t even carry myself’.

She went back to the bedroom and sat at her desk. Putting her head in her hands she let herself cry. Her vices were going to be the death of her, but she was at a point where she didn’t care. She grabbed the vial and filled the syringe with shaking hands. Not bothering with tying her arm off, she stuck the needle in her arm and pushed the plunger. She sat like that for a moment before taking the needle out and tossing it to the top of her dresser.

‘I’m sorry, dad’.

After making it back to the bathroom, last of the whiskey in hand, she pulled out a razor blade she had tucked away and sat on the edge of the tub. She finished the bottle in a single drink, letting tears drop off her chin.

‘I’m sorry, mom’.

Closing her eyes, she dug the blade into her wrist, creating a vertical line. 

‘I’m sorry I’ll never be the woman you thought I was’.

She let the blade fall out of her hand as a sob tore through body. She knew the cut wasn’t deep enough to kill her, meaning the blood was just something she would have to clean up in the morning. Between the alcohol and drugs, she felt herself starting to slip into unconsciousness. She eased herself onto the floor, not caring about her bleeding arm making contact with the shower curtain. She silently cried herself to sleep that night.

~~~~~~~~

Korra was absentmindedly running her fingers through her girlfriend’s hair, still unable to sleep. It had been a couple hours, she had rolled to her back when Asami shifted. It accidentally woke her up a bit, but she was quickly back to sleep once she settled her head on Korra’s chest. 

She raised her other arm, able to see the scar she had given herself a year ago under the moonlight. 

‘Where did everything go so wrong’.

Slowly sliding out from under her girlfriend, she sat up in bed and looked over at her sleeping form.

‘How could she love someone like me? She’s so perfect. Yeah, she has her own inner battles, but she’s able to talk about them and handle them well. She’s funny and sweet and caring.. not to mention drop dead gorgeous..’ 

She looked up at the ceiling as tears rolled down her cheeks. Placing one hand on Asami’s shoulder and the other over her own mouth to quiet the soft sobs escaping her, she looked back down at her girlfriend.

‘And then there’s me.. an addict and alcoholic. I’ve yelled at her for no reason. She’s taken care of me drunk, high, and broken. I don’t deserve her. And she deserves so much better. All I do is hurt the people around me..’

Another sob rocked her shoulders as she gently ran her fingers along Asami’s cheek.

‘I love her so damn much. But why on earth does she love me?’

Asami slowly opened her eyes, noticing Korra wasn’t laying down.

“Korra, baby? What’s going on?” She propped herself up on her elbow and covered Korra’s hand on her cheek with her free hand. 

“D-did I wake you? I’m sorry”. She dropped her hand from her mouth and her voice held tears as she stroked Asami’s cheek with her thumb gently.

“No, you didn’t”. She could faintly see the tears on Korra’s face from the moonlight. “What’s wrong?”

She turned her face away, looking out the window. “It’s.. nothing”. Biting down on her lip, another sob shook her shoulders.

Asami was now sitting, a hand on her girlfriend’s back. “It’s clearly something. Please.. don’t curl into yourself. I’m right here. Talk to me”.

“I just... I love you, okay. So damn much”. She pulled her knees to her chest, fighting the tears now. “And I don’t know why or how you could love someone like me.. all I’ve done is hurt you”.

“That’s not true. You’ve been there when no one else has. You support me. You.. you’ve shown me what true love is like. Korra, sweetheart, you’ve done so much for me without even realizing it”. She wrapped her arms around Korra loosely, unsure if she wanted the comfort or not.

“I’m an addict and an alcoholic, ‘Sami. I’ve only been sober for a few months. I’ve blown up at you for no reason”. She couldn’t fight the tears any longer. “You deserve so much better. You deserve someone who will actually make you happy, not worried that they could slip back into using or worse..”

Asami forced Korra to look at her in the eyes. “Listen carefully, Korra. I love you. All of you. Broken pieces and all. And you.. you, Korra make me so happy. Yes, I worry. But it’s out of love. I don’t think I could handle losing you like that. I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me. Through any fights, any dark days or nights”. A tear slid down her face. “I’m going to fight like hell to keep you”.

A tear filled chuckle came from her girlfriend. “Are you trying to propose?”

“No. I’m just being honest. You’ll know when I do, though”.

‘When? What the hell? Seriously, you just had to let that slip instead of an if?’

“I guess I’ll have to walk you through our customs when it comes to that thing sometime soon”.

‘Soon? How soon? Where the actual hell did that come from?’

Asami rested her forehead against Korra’s. “Have you slept at all?”

“No.. my head’s been racing”.

“Could you try to get some sleep?” She placed a gentle kiss to her lips. “Or.. are you worried you’re going to sneak out and get into trouble?”

“Yes to both. But also.. I guess if I was going to sneak out I already would have. So that’s good, right? That I haven’t?” She pulled back to look into Asami’s eyes, searching for any doubts she may have.

Asami gently wiped the tears off her girlfriend’s face. “Of course that’s a good thing. It means that starting to not let the drugs and alcohol control you. I’m sure we still have a long way to go, but you not leaving is a huge step”.

Korra let herself lay back down. “The cravings are so bad sometimes. I’m worried about this festival. There’s usually quite a bit of alcohol to go around, and.. if I don’t have any at all, there’s going to be a ton of questions”.

Laying down and pulling Korra close she whispered, “I’ll supervise you. There’s nothing wrong with having a drink every now and then, just don’t get carried away. I’ll cut you off after a few, okay?”

She snuggled closer, resting her head under Asami’s chin. “That’s... we can try your plan tomorrow night when we go”. Korra let out a yawn as her emotional exhaustion caught up to her. “And for the record.. I’m gonna fight like hell for this.. us too. You’re kinda stuck with me as long as you want this”. 

Asami smiled, kissing the top of her head. “Good. Now get some sleep”. She pulled the blanket over Korra’s shoulder and felt her attempt to snuggle impossibly closer. 

“I love you, ‘Sami”.

“I love you too”. After a few minutes of rubbing her back, she felt Korra’s breathing slow and body become slightly heavier. 

‘There ya go. I just hope your sleep isn’t too troubled tonight’.

She closed her eyes and rested a hand on the arm across her stomach. “Sweet dreams,” she whispered into the room as she felt herself slip into a light sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra has to make some big decisions, the festival starts and Asami has a moment, both of them have some thoughts about the future

When Asami woke up, she noticed she was alone. Pulling the blanket tighter around herself she got her phone.

-sorry for not being there when you wake up. The elders called a sudden Tribe meeting. Because of who I am and my age now I had to go this time. Surprised dad didn’t wake you when he knocked. Love you-

-just watch your temper. I’ll spend time with your mom. I love you-

She stood up and winced when her feet hit the cold floor. After pulling on her boots and a coat, she made her way down to the living area.

‘This is most definitely a whole different kind of cold’.

“Good morning, dear. Are you too cold? I can get the fire going a bit more.”

“I don’t want to put you through that trouble, Senna. I can layer up”.

“Oh, don’t start with that nonsense already. There’s no way you could be used to this cold”. Senna got off the couch and placed a few more logs into the fireplace before sitting back down. “Come. Have a seat”.

Asami sat next to her quietly watching the flames, not sure what to say. Deciding on trying to break the silence that had fallen over them, she whispered a small thank you.

‘What am I supposed to talk about with my girlfriend’s mother? I’ve only known her for less than 24 hours. Stop making this so awkward’.

Seeming to sense Asami being unsure of what to say or do, Senna broke the silence. “So... how did you two meet?”

‘I guess that works’.

“Believe it or not, we met at a club I used to work at. I really wasn’t looking for anything serious, I’m sure you know how people from clubs can be. Anyhow.. being nice, I decided to say hi to her and we talked for a while”.

“Did you end up quitting because you met her?”

“No. I had some high priority contracts come through and I needed to focus my time on the company”. It wasn’t a complete lie, but she also needed to take care of Korra.

“That’s completely understandable. I’d have never taken you for a club type”.

“It was.. just something to end the work week with”.

“You know... last time we saw Korra, she wasn’t doing well. She was always so distant. I don’t think she slept much and she was barely eating..”

“That.. doesn’t surprise me. She was still a little rough when we met. Which I guess is understandable seeing it was the night before the anniversary of.. that. She told me everything that happened to her. I had no idea”.

‘And neither do you, Senna. Unfortunately you don’t know the half of it...’  
_________

“We can’t just declare war! Sure, they’ve sent in spies to find our weaknesses, but do you understand how bad it would look if we officially started it?!”

“Korra, please calm down”.

“Calm down?! Seriously, dad? You want to throw us into a civil war with our own tribe. I know the North hasn’t exactly helped us, but we’re two sides of the same fucking coin!”

“This decision isn’t easy. Our warriors have been monitoring the situation off the coast. They have a naval fleet stationed”.

“Then let them throw the first damn punch”. She could feel her leg start to twitch as her hands shook.

“We can’t just sit and wait-“

“Then prepare our people for an expected attack and wait”. Her tone was bitter as the elders in the room remained silent, listening to the two argue.

“I understand you don’t want war-“

“Then get your head out of your ass and figure something out!” She slammed her hands on the table, standing.

“Young lady! Don’t-“

“I can’t do this right now”.

‘Not sober’.

She started heading to the door when she heard her father, “where do you think you’re going?! This meeting isn’t done!”

“I’m going for a walk. I need to... not fight with you”. She slammed the door behind her as she left.

The elders looked between each other and then to their chief. “With all respect, sir, I think this meeting should end. We will give you some time to think it over”.

“Very well”. Tonraq pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ll contact you all when I’ve come closer to a decision”.  
_____________

Korra found herself crouched behind the building she knew too well. She couldn’t stop shaking and was sweating, even in the cold.

‘I can’t do this’.

She heard a familiar whistle come from behind her. Leaning off to the side, she puked. She couldn’t believe she was even here again.

“Meeting me in broad daylight? Looks like withdrawal is taking you for one hell of a ride. How long has it been?” 

Coughing, she managed, “over two months,” before puking again.

“Are you sure about this? It’s been quite a while that you’ve been sober”.

‘No’.

“Yeah.. I need something. Anything at this point”. She reached for the cash in her pocket when two bags landed next to her, one with a white powder and the other containing a vial and a syringe.

“Don’t worry about the money. It’s on me this time”.

“You laced it, didn’t you?”

“You should know by now I don’t do that shit. If you need more while you’re down here.. you know the drill”. The guy turned and left.

Stuffing the bags into her coat pocket, she stood and started walking back to her parents’ house.

‘What the actual fuck am I doing?’  
________

Asami looked up as she heard the door open. “How’d it go?”

“I don’t want to talk about it”.

She knew that tone. It was the tone that scared her and sunk her heart to her stomach. She barely managed to catch a glimpse of Korra’s eyes as she immediately started up the stairs to her room, knowing what that look meant.

‘Oh no’.

“Her and her dad probably had a fight and probably needs a moment to calm down”. Senna’s voice pulled her out of her mind.

“Y-yeah. I’m.. still going to check on her. Make sure she doesn’t need anything”.

‘And hopefully not doing what I think she is.’  
____________

Korra closed her door a little louder than she had hoped, tossing the drugs onto her desk before taking her coat off. 

‘I don’t need this. I don’t want to start back from square one’.

She sat at her desk, letting her leg bounce as she chewed at her lip. This was bad. Just when it couldn’t get worse, Korra heard her door open and close, knowing it was her girlfriend from the lack of a knock.

“Have you used?”

Korra remained silent, clenching her jaw. She heard Asami’s question, but was focused on the voice in her head telling her to just get high.

Taking a few steps closer, and seeing the two bags, Asami tried to keep her voice calm. Seeing Korra slip hurt more than she thought it would have. She knew the possibility of this was far too likely this early on.

“Korra.. I need to know”.

“No. Not yet,” she managed through gritted teeth, voice choked.

‘Okay. So she’s still planning on it. Damn it’.

“I know you can fight this”. She could see her girlfriend visibly shaking, a thin coat of sweat on her skin.

‘She’s right, you know. You’ve fought this for over two months. No..’

“No. I can’t”. She fisted her hands in her hair. “I can’t stay clean no matter how many times I try. I get so... blindingly pissed off and just go back”.

“What happened?”

“Oh, nothing big. Just that my father wants to fucking declare war on the North, starting a fucking civil war for the whole damn tribe”. She was starting to get louder as she slammed her fists on her desk. “He acts like this is the only choice! They attack first, fine. It’s war. But for us to fucking start it?!”

“Sweetheart,” Asami tried to keep her voice calm, she wasn’t looking for a fight. “Breathe. Please, try to calm down”.

“Are you fucking kidding me?! You too?”

‘Alright, definitely said the wrong thing’.

“No. You’re allowed to be upset about this. I just want you to breathe and talk to me. I didn’t do anything, so please, don’t yell at me”. She accidentally let some hurt slip into her voice at the end.

“You know what will calm me down? This”. She gestured stiffly to the drugs. “It’s all I’ve ever known to actually shut my brain up. Why do you even love me, Asami?”

“I’m not going to fight with you. Not like this. This isn’t you talking”.

“I don’t want to fight either. I want a fucking answer”. She was starting to breathe heavily and feel nauseous.

“I love you because of who you are under all of this, Korra. You’re a very caring person with a huge heart. You’re strong and funny and-“

“I can’t fucking do this”.

“Wh-what?” She felt like she suddenly couldn’t breathe.

‘Can’t do.. us?’

“You heard me”.

“Korra, please..” she couldn’t stop the tears as she felt her heart shatter.

‘That’s not what she meant. She meant stay sober, right?’

“I can’t, Asami. I can’t fight with you like this”. Her tone was distant as she lightly tapped her fingers on her desk. “Have.. have fun with my parents at the festival tonight. I’m not going”.

Asami was silent as she cried quietly, not really sure what was happening. 

“I just want to sleep. For the rest of the day and night”.

“Korra.. baby.. please. Talk to me”. She choked on a sob. “What did I do?”

“What? You didn’t do anything”.

“So.. you’re not..” she swallowed thickly, not believing what she was about to ask. “You’re not breaking up with me?”

Korra looked to her girlfriend, tears in her eyes at the question. “W-what? No. Spirits no”.

“When you said you can’t.. I thought you meant-“

“I meant.. staying sober. And fighting with you”.

“I.. we’re not..” she took a shaky breath, trying to get her thoughts together. “I don’t want to call this a fight, Korra. I’m just so.. worried about you. I knew a relapse was entirely possible this early, I was just hoping..”

“That it wasn’t going to happen. I know”. Her tone had calmed considerably, but she was still shaking.

“You can fight this. I know you can. Think of your fighting career”.

“I have. I’ll be able to piss clean when we get back... as long as I don’t use after tomorrow”.

Asami suddenly closed the gap between them and grabbed Korra’s wrist, stopping her from continuing to reach for one of the bags. “If... if you’ll go to the festival, I’ll let you only take the edge off. I don’t want you getting high. Please”.

Korra looked at Asami’s hand holding her wrist. “I don’t want to get high either”. Her voice trailed off. 

“Then don’t. Fight through this”. She could see her girlfriend was suddenly trying to make a decision. “Are you okay? Talk to me. I’m not a mind reader. Let me help you”.

Freeing her wrist from Asami’s hand, she grabbed both bags. She took a deep breath after watching her girlfriend close her eyes in what seemed to be defeat and grabbed her hand. “I don’t care what you do with this,” she whispered as she put the bags into Asami’s hand, “just get rid of it”.

Asami closed her hand around the bags, still keeping her eyes closed. “Are you sure about this?”

“Y-yeah. I’m just.. I’m going to need help riding this crash out. I feel so sick and I’m freezing”.

“Okay,” she cleared her throat. “Alright. Stay put”. Asami went into the bathroom and dumped the coke into the toilet. Taking a deep breath, she pulled the vial and syringe out of the other bag to draw up the contents of the vial. “I’m so proud of you,” she whispered as she emptied the syringe into the toilet. After flushing the drugs away, she returned to Korra’s side.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“No. But it needed to happen.. I think”. She rested her head on the desk and closed her eyes, feeling Asami rub her shoulders.

“I just want you to know how proud of you I am for doing that. I know that wasn’t easy. You’re going to get through this”.

“I hope so. I’m tired of feeling like this. I just want to get past the withdrawal symptoms”.

“Do you want to talk about anything?” She knelt down next to Korra’s chair. “Or do you need anything?”

“No. I just want to lay down for a bit. I’m.. sorry for yelling at you. Again”.

“And I’m sorry I thought you were breaking up with me. I’m sure you’ve had a long morning, but just so you know.. your mom is an amazing woman. I see where you get your heart from”.

Korra rolled her eyes jokingly.

“That’s better. You’re finally starting to come back. Let’s lay down for a little while so you can recover some more before you show me what this festival is all about”. Standing, she took Korra’s hand and led her to the bed. After taking her boots off, she laid down and pulled the blanket back for her girlfriend.

“Um.. hold on.. I gotta..” she spun and rushed off to the bathroom to puke. 

‘I’m so sorry you’re going through this..’

After rinsing her mouth, she returned and grabbed another fur blanket before laying down heavily next to Asami, her back facing her. “I’m so sorry about today. This.. wasn’t how I was planning our first full day here to go”. Her voice was tired and slightly raspy.

After covering her up with the first blanket, Asami adjusted the extra over her girlfriend before stroking her back gently under the blankets. “It most definitely wasn’t ideal, but we’re going to get through the rest of today”.

There was a sudden knock on the door. “Korra? Can we talk, please?”

Korra groaned and pulled the blankets up over her head.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of him”. Asami got off the bed and cracked the door. “She’s sleeping, Tonraq. I’ll let her know you stopped by”.

“Thank you. Is... she okay? We kind of got into a fight earlier...”

“She will be. I told her to sleep it off for now so hopefully she’s in a better mood when she gets up”.

“Thank you,” he sighed. “You should get some rest too. The festival is starting tonight”. She watched as he left before closing the door fully and laying back down.  
_________

“Honey, what happened with Korra?”

“We.. got into a bit of a fight at the meeting,” Tonraq sighed deeply, sitting next to Senna. “She was fine.. until she wasn’t. I don’t know what made her snap like that”.

She put her hand on his arm. “You know.. she’s doing so much better this year, but she’s going to have things to work through for the rest of her life. She’s never going to be the same Korra she was three years ago. We have to work with her for the time being”.

“I had no intention of upsetting her, but she needs to understand that chiefdom is full of hard decisions just like the one about the North”.

“Tonraq, this isn’t the first time you two have gotten into it. Ever since your first big fight with her when she was only 10, what have I always told you?”

He covered the hand on his arm gently. “We’re both headstrong”.

“And?”

“And that she definitely gets it from me,” he added with an eye roll.

Senna chuckled softly. “And she gets that particular eye roll from you too. You’re going to have to talk to her. Calmly. And try to hear her out. We both know that ultimately it’s you who’s going to have to make the final decisions, but she’s next in line, Tonraq”.

“I know.. Asami said she was asleep, so I’ll talk to her later”.

“You’re going to apologize. Both of you. Unless it’s an emergency, I don’t want tribal matters putting a damper on our festival”. Senna kissed his cheek.

He hung his head slightly, knowing his wife was right. There wasn’t any reason to drag this out with his daughter. After seeing the light in her eyes for the first time in years, he never wanted to lose it again.

“That’s fair”.  
____________

“I’m going to have to face him at some point tonight”. She felt Asami gently trace her spine under her shirt.

“You’ve both had some time to cool off. I know you’re still upset, but try to at least apologize for what you said to him. Are you sure you’re not too warm?”

“Yeah. I still feel like I’m freezing”. 

“Well.. you’re not shaking nearly as bad. I really wish there was something I could do or give you to make this pass quicker”. She started running her fingers along Korra’s ribs, falling into a deep thought.

Suddenly Asami pulled Korra’s shirt off.

“Babe... I’m not in the mood”.

“Trust me on this. Your shirt is soaked from the sweat. It’s not helping with you feeling cold”. She tucked the blanket around Korra’s shoulders and wrapped her arm around her waist, pulling her close. “You’re going to get through it”.  
__________

A few hours later, Tonraq looked up to see Korra walk into the living room, Asami in hand. 

“Korra”. He voice was more stern than he was trying for.

“Dad”. She all but bit back and felt Asami give her hand a gentle squeeze.

“Honey...” Senna’s voice had come from the kitchen, a hint of warning.

“Sit. We need to talk”.

“Agreed”. Korra was trying to not be short with her father, but she could feel the anger starting to rise in her chest. She let go of her girlfriend’s hand, sitting in the chair across from him.

“I’m... going to help your mom. Try to behave”. She gave Korra’s shoulder a gentle touch before heading to the kitchen. 

Silence fell over Korra and Tonraq as they stared each other down, neither budging.

“I’m sorry,” they both finally said at the same time after a couple minutes.

“You go first, Korra”.

“I’m sorry.. for what I said earlier. I was just mad and I couldn’t...”

‘Deal with you sober’.

“... stand seeing you throw our tribe into a war without considering other options”.

Tonraq was silent for a moment, weighing his daughter’s words.

“I understand that. I should have considered consulting you, as the next chief of the South. You’re old enough to start helping make decisions. And I’m sorry I wasn’t listening to what you had to say”.

“Can we... not discuss war until the festival is over? I don’t want my couple weeks here to be spent arguing...”

‘And going through withdrawal every time’.

“... and possibly inciting a war before I go back to the city”.

“That... I can agree to that. I’ll let the elders know that we’re not discussing this further unless an attack from the North is imminent”.

“Apology accepted. Thanks, dad. We should... probably get around for the start of the festival. Considering who we are”.

Smiling, he nodded. “I couldn’t agree more”.

They both stood and he wrapped his daughter in a hug. Turning, they saw both of their women standing in the entrance to the kitchen. 

“I think we’re in trouble, sweetie”. He nudged his daughter with his elbow jokingly.

She hung her head with a smile. “Guess we're both in the doghouse tonight”.

Asami could help but smile at the two. Korra may have her mother’s heart, but she was almost a smaller, female version of her father. 

“Oh, would you two stop that. Working this out wasn’t so hard, now was it?” Senna had the tone of a mother scolding siblings.

“No, mom”.

“Good. Now, you two go get ready”.

“Yes, dear”. After giving his daughter a playful shove, he ran off to his room, Korra chasing him down before going into her room.

“Is it always like that?”

Senna gave a soft chuckle. “You should have seen them when Korra was little”.

“Do I even want to know?” Asami laughed.

“She’s always been a bit of a wild child. But as she got older, she became more and more like Tonraq. They’re both incredibly hard headed”.

“That she is sometimes..” Asami glanced towards the stairs before looking back to Senna. “Is there anything we need to do to get ready?”

Senna placed a hand on her shoulder. “Just dress warm. There’s a little more work that goes into the Chief and his daughter when it comes to getting ready for this. I’m sure Korra has some extra furs you could use for tonight”.

“I’ll be okay”.

“I know I’m not your mom, but please wear some. If you think it’s cold during the day, you’re going to freeze at night.”

‘Korra hasn't told her about my mom...’

Looking back to the stairs, she saw Korra and her father walking down and she couldn’t help but stare at her girlfriend. Her hair was up in a short ponytail with the shorter strands she couldn’t quite get back framing her face. She let her eyes wander down, taking in the blue fur lined tunic under a tribal patterned robe, tied loosely around her waist with a belt of fur. Her pants and boots were a nicer version of her normal ones. Suddenly Korra was standing right in front of her.

“D-did you say something?”

Korra gave that lopsided smile that she adored, followed by a soft laugh. “I said to take these and get bundled up,” she said holding out a small pile of fur lined clothes. 

‘Spirits, she’s stunning. And her being happy makes it that much better. If this is just for a festival.. I wonder what the wedding wear is.. woah. Where did that come from? No, no. We are not going there yet. We’ve only been dating for what.. 6 months?’

A blush reached her cheeks from her thoughts. “R-right. Um.. thanks”. She took the clothes from Korra and saw herself to the bathroom on the first floor. 

“What. The. Fuck”. She stared at herself in the mirror. A soft knock pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Babe? Are you okay?”

“I-I’m fine! Just.. your clothes can be complicated”.

“Do you need help?”

“Um. No? I’ll try to figure it out”.

‘We are not having sex in this bathroom with your parents right there’.

“Okay. Let me know if you do need the help”.

“I will”.

She splashed some cold water on her face before looking herself in the mirror again. “Get it together”. After a few minutes of struggling with the clothes, she walked out of the bathroom to find Korra talking to her parents. 

‘Oh boy. Why is she so red?’

She could see a dopey grin on her girlfriend’s face as she was rubbing the back of her neck. Watching her turn, their eyes met. 

“Oh! Hey, babe! Um.. you look like you should be warm enough. Are you ready?” Her cheeks grew impossibly redder.

‘Do I even want to know why she’s so flustered?’

“I’m ready if you three are”.  
___________

Asami was sitting next to Korra at the head table with her parents. She was used to having eyes on her, but not like this. Business meetings were far different from sitting next to her chief-to-be girlfriend while her father addressed the tribe in front of them. She felt Korra hold her hand under the table, bringing her back from being in her head. 

“You can eat now, babe”.

“What? Oh.. right”. She looked to her plate.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah! Just.. I’m not used to having eyes on me like this. Business meetings aren’t nearly this.. personal”.

“Well, after our dinner, we’ll head to the city center and have some fun. I bet I’ll kick your ass in skiball”.

“You’re so on”.  
__________

“Okay, fine. You’re really good at skiball. But maybe I let you win”. Korra gave Asami a pout as they were walking to the cliffs hand in hand.

“Whatever you say... princess”.

Korra stopped in her tracks. “Woah, woah, woah. I do not think so. We are not doing... that”.

Asami couldn’t hold back her laughter at Korra’s expression of horror. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I had to. I’ve been dying to drop that on you since you told me your position in your tribe”.

Korra shot her a glare as she packed a snowball.

“Don’t you dare.” 

“Or what?” She pitched the snowball at Asami’s shoulder. 

She brushed the snow off her shoulder and made a snowball of her own. “It’s on.” She threw the snowball, hitting Korra in the chest.

As Korra was gathering more snow, she felt another hit her shoulder. She looked up to see her girlfriend run off with a giggle. 

“Get back here!” She dropped the snow and took off after her. After catching up, she tackled Asami into a snow drift, kissing her neck. “Gotcha”.

Asami rolled off her side and onto her back in Korra’s arms. “For as long as you’ll have me”. She wrapped her arms around Korra’s shoulders and kissed her nose.

She broke her gaze with Korra and was staring up at the sky with a smile. “Korra...” it was barely a whisper.

Seeing the faint glow on her girlfriend’s face, she knew what she was awestruck by. “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” She stood after giving Asami’s forehead a kiss. “I’ll.. let you do your thing. If you need me, I’ll be over there,” she said pointing over at the cliff.

“No. Stay. Please?” She grabbed Korra’s hand as she sat up.

Korra gave her a warm smile, untying her belt and draping the robe over Asami’s shoulders before sitting back down. “Of course”.

They both sat and watched as the Southern Lights danced overhead.

‘Mom... I miss you. I’m sorry there wasn’t anything I could do to save you.. I hope you’re able to hear me. I don’t know if I’m doing this right.. It’s been so long without you, I miss your voice and hugs.. you know, Senna reminds me so much of you..’

She pulled the robe tighter around herself and stole a glance at Korra who had closed her eyes, before returning her gaze to the light show overhead.

‘Did you send her to me?’

As soon as she sent that thought, she watched a shooting star tear across the sky. Tears fell from her eyes as she remembered what Korra had told her.

‘Sometimes they even answer us’.

She never was much of a spiritual person, preferring logic and reason, but something in her just knew that was her mom. Not wanting to disturb Korra, she placed a hand over her mouth to quiet her sobs and pulled the robe around herself as tight as she could.

“Thank you,” she barely whispered.

“Hmmm?”

“N-nothing”.

Korra opened an eye and glanced over at her girlfriend, opening both and scooting closer when she realized she was crying. 

“Hey, are you alright?”

“Just.. my mom.” She wasn’t about to tell Korra everything. 

Korra pulled her close, letting her lay her head on her shoulder. “I know. I can’t even begin to imagine that pain. Do you want to go back?”

Taking Korra’s hand, she whispered, “not yet. Just a little longer..”

“Anything. Whenever you’re ready”. She rested her head against Asami’s.

___________

When they returned, Korra had went to take a shower while Asami opted to lay down, crying that much was exhausting. She pulled up her phone, looking through her photos of the night, stoping at a particular one she managed to sneak of her girlfriend. It was a simple, candid photo of her just releasing the ball onto the skiball ramp, smile on her face. She attached the picture to a message.

-Opal. I am so fucked.-

-well it looks like you’re having fun down there-

-you don’t understand. She completely has my heart. I think.. I might marry this girl someday-

‘Why did I just send that?’

-excuse me?! Did she?-

-no. I don’t know if she’s ready for that kind of thing. And we’ve only been dating for about 6 months. I can’t-

-Asami fucking Sato. You’re so smitten. This is so good for you! I haven’t seen you this in love, like, ever-

-don’t you dare say a word of this to anyone-

-promise-

She couldn’t get the stupid smile off her face in time before Korra had walked back into the bedroom. “What’s that smile for?”

“It’s nothing. I’m just.. happy”.

Korra laid down next to her. “Complete 180 from an hour ago. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I mean.. I’m still a little upset. But I really am happy, Korra. I’m so happy to be with you.. so happy to love you”.

Pulling Asami close and wrapping the blanket around them, she whispered, “I’m so happy to be able to love you too. Do you..?” She asked, trailing her hand down her girlfriend’s thigh.

Asami rolled her eyes before giving her a soft kiss. “Not tonight. I’m far too tired”.

“Mmmm fair enough. It was a very, very long day. For both of us. Also.. thanks for cleaning up my room while I was gone this morning. You didn’t have to do that alone”.

“It wasn’t a problem. Your mom went to shower, so I decided to clean up with that little bit of time. But I really am exhausted”. 

“Then sleep”.

“Don’t do anything stupid”.

“I won’t. Besides, you don’t seem to sleep well if you’re not in my arms”. Korra gave her forehead a kiss.

“I... yeah.. I don’t”. She felt a slight blush rise.

“I don’t either”.

Asami closed her eyes, Korra’s body heat slowly lulling her to sleep. “I love you”.

“I love you too... Miss Sato”.

‘Mrs would be better... damn it, Asami, stop. It’s too soon and you don’t even live together yet’.

“Mmm let’s not do that... princess”.

“Oh, shut up. I thought we agreed to not do that”.

“I know. Couldn’t resist”. Korra could feel her smile against her neck as she started stroking Asami’s hair. 

“Lucky I love you,” she chuckled.

“I sure am”. 

Korra pulled her closer as she felt her girlfriend’s body relax into sleep.

‘I’m so going to marry her... but not yet. It’s way too soon. Maybe someday. Mom and dad seemed to approve earlier. If she even wants that...’

Korra fell asleep shortly after, smile on her face.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra goes through some big changes, Asami confesses to Senna, The North and South go to war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strap in y’all, this one is kinda a ride

Korra blinked awake, laying on her stomach, to Asami gently tracing a large scar on her lower back.

“That’s.. uh.. from when they tried to save the use of my legs,” her voice still held the remnants of sleep.

Asami pulled her hand back. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” 

“No. And it’s fine, you didn’t have to stop”. She turned her head to face her girlfriend. “The bullet broke one of my vertebrae, but missed the spinal cord. If it hadn’t, I’d be paralyzed from the waist down. The damage that was done was because of the bone fragments. Thankfully it was repairable, but it still took a long time for me to be able to walk again”.

“You don’t have to talk about it”. Asami started tracing the outline of her shoulder blade instead.

“I know. I told you I’d tell you about the scars some day. Just not all at once, for my own sake”. Korra’s gaze shifted to a dark love bite above Asami’s left breast and smirked. 

“Do you think they heard us last night?”

Korra groaned and rolled to her side. “I don’t want to think about it”.

Asami ran a finger down the side of Korra’s neck, stopping at a mark she had left just above the crook of her neck. “Good luck hiding that”.

“We’re adults. I’m sure they know we have sex, ‘Sami”.

“So you’re okay with them possibly hearing us?”

“Um. No? Cause that’s just really.. ugh. I don’t need the thought of my parents hearing me have sex”. She shuddered slightly. 

Asami shot her a smirk. “Then you better learn how to quiet down”.

“Speak for yourself. You’re louder than I am”.

“Prove it”.

Korra ran her hand down Asami’s chest. “As much as I would love to...” she let her thumb brush against a nipple before continuing down her stomach. “... we should probably get dressed and head down for breakfast”. She gave Asami’s hip a squeeze before rolling out of bed and heading to her closet for clothes.

Asami bit her lip, looking over her girlfriend’s body. “You’re teasing”.

Looking over her shoulder, Korra flashed a grin before pulling some clothes out of the closet. “I would say oops, but you love it”.

Rolling her eyes, Asami got out of bed and opened the suitcase to get some clothing of her own and get dressed. She went to the bathroom to brush her hair and teeth and saw Korra behind her in the unbroken side of the mirror. “Hmm?”

“You sure you’re going to be warm enough in your city clothes?”

“We’ve been here for a little over a week. I’ve gotten a bit used to it, considering I’m not reaching for my boots and coat in the morning anymore”.

Korra finished brushing her teeth. “Hmmm. That’s a fair point. But if you want anything warmer-“

“I’ll tell you. Now, let’s go get some food. Your mom is a great cook”.

“You don’t gotta tell me twice”. 

Asami shook her head with a chuckle as she heard the bedroom door close. “What am I gonna do with you? At least your appetite is back”. She left the bedroom and made her way downstairs to the dining room.

She saw Korra already had half a plate of food eaten and was chatting happily with her parents.

‘Where does she put that much food so fast?’ 

“Good morning, dear. Get yourself some food and join us”.

Asami gave Senna a smile and went to make herself a plate before sitting at the table. She noticed Tonraq look at her then to Korra, a knowing smirk growing on his face.

“No wonder someone is so chatty this morning. I thought mornings were evil, Korra”.

Korra almost spit her coffee, cheeks turning pink. “Dad! Stop!”

“Oh, come on. You’re an adult-“

“We are so not talking about this. Nope.” She turned back to her food.

Asami didn’t know what to say, so she began eating her meal. 

“It couldn’t have been that bad if she’s anything like me, Asami. You haven’t said anything since you came down”.

Korra hung her head and Asami almost choked. Thankfully, Senna came to rescue them from death by embarrassment. 

“Honey! Leave the girls alone. I’m sure their... activities are just fine for them”.

“I mean, girls do it better,” Asami said, her mouth working faster than her brain.

Tonraq’s grin grew, similar to his daughter’s crooked one.

“Okay! We are not talking about sex at the table. Mom, the food’s great as always. You’ll have to send some of your recipes to me”. Korra was grabbing for anything to change the subject, face now red.

“Well, is it true, Korra?” Tonraq could help himself, laughing.

“Dad! I’m so not talking about this! Babe, a little help? Mom?”

“I didn’t mean to say that..” Asami covered her face with her hands.

Tonraq let out another booming laugh. “I’m just messing with you. Both of you. I’m just glad to see you... happy again”.

“Okay, honey, I think it’s time to get off this subject. Korra, do you two have any plans for today?” Noticing her husband’s grin growing again, she silenced him with a stern, “don’t”.

“I was thinking about taking her out to see the glaciers. Maybe see some of the city’s architecture too”.

“If you go out to the glaciers, I want you to take a few of the guards with you. We have the area patrolled, but some Northern warriors have been slipping in through that area. Just be careful”.

“Soooo seeing the architecture it is. Got it. Thanks, dad”. 

Asami noticed the sudden worried look on Tonraq’s face and touched Korra’s leg under the table.

“Um.. what’s going on?”

Tonraq looked to his wife, who finally gave a sigh and a small nod.

“I know.. you didn’t want to talk war. But-“

“Dad, I don’t want to fight over this again”.

“Korra, please listen. Our task force informed me this morning..” he took a deep sigh, trying to word his information carefully. “... the North has employed the Red Lotus. A rogue band running from the law. They.. your uncle.. put a bounty on our heads”.

Korra fell silent, any anger towards the discussion of war quickly turning into fear. She found Asami’s hand under the table and gripped it tightly. 

“What? Even mom?”

“No. Just you and me. Dead or alive”.

Hearing those last three words made her breath catch. She suddenly forgot how to breath for a few moments. The man from three years ago was all she could see, only hearing his voice say those three words.

Asami gripped onto Korra’s hand tighter. “With all respect, sir, are you sure?”

“I wish I could say this was some sick way to change Korra’s mind on us declaring war, but it’s not,” he told Asami, voice somber as he slid a piece of paper across the table to her.

“Korra?” Senna was the first to notice her daughters distant stare and jaw clenched.

Asami finished reading the paper, pit in her stomach. She turned to her girlfriend, gently holding her face. “Korra, sweetheart, come back”.

Swallowing hard, Korra closed her eyes. “I-is it true?” 

Asami gently stroked her cheek. “It is. Your dad has official correspondence. I’m sorry”.

She clenched her jaw tight again, thoughts racing through her head. “Do it,” she managed through gritted teeth. “Dad. Call it. We’re at war”.

Tonraq’s eyes widened. “We.. don’t have to. We can wait to see their next-“

Korra suddenly stood, pulling her hand out of Asami’s. “Make the damn call, dad. Those mother fuckers are the ones who tried to kill me three years ago”.

“Language!”

“Mom, not now”.

“A-are you sure?”

“Yes. If you don’t contact the elders, I will. This ends now. My pain is going to come to an end, even if I have to do it myself”.

“Korra...” Asami has seen Korra angry and yelling, but she has never seen her so angry she could start throwing punches at any moment.

“Babe, now is not the time”.

Tonraq cleared his throat. “I’ll.. um.. I’ll gather the elders. They can come here”. 

Asami stood and headed to Korra’s room, coming back moments later with a stack of papers in hand. “How long?”

“I figured you’d bring that with us,” Korra’s tone was still stiff, but Asami knew is was never directed at her.

“We can hold them off for a couple weeks before we start hurting for supplies. Can you make that work?”

Asami finally signed her name on the last page after debating on it for months. “I’ll make some calls”.

There was a knock at the door and Senna got up to tentatively crack the door. “It’s the elders”.

“Let them in”.

As the elders entered, Korra started picking at her lips, pacing. She tried to listen to her father address them, or focus on her girlfriend making her business calls, but she was too stuck in her head replaying that day.

“Korra?”

She snapped her head towards her dad. “Y-yeah?”

He stood and put his hand on her shoulder. “Starting today, you’re the second chief, under me. I want you to make this call”. 

Asami had just ended her call as she heard Tonraq declare her girlfriend a chief. She held her hands near her chest as she waited for Korra to make her first declaration.

Korra looked over the elders in her home. Clearing her throat, she was able to choke back her fears. “I officially declare war on the Northern Tribe on grounds of threats and treason to the overall tribe. I also want guards for this house, mainly for the protection of my mom and girlfriend”. Her voice never wavered.

“As you command, Chief Korra. We will ready the warriors”. The elders made their way out of the house to fulfill their duties.

Asami brought her hands to her mouth. This was a side of Korra she never thought she’d see and she wasn’t sure if she should be proud or terrified. Senna had come up beside her, wrapping an arm around her. “We’ll be okay”.

“But will they?” Her voice came out broken.

“I sure hope so”. Senna being unsure for once since knowing her broke Asami’s heart. She knew she could lose both her husband and daughter any day now.

The two chiefs turned, embracing their respective women. The words of worry and love silently spoken between them.  
__________

“You don’t have to do this”.

“I know. But it’s as much of my battle as it yours, dad”. She was loading a handgun with trembling hands. Glancing over at her girlfriend at the table, she noticed a glass of whiskey next to one hand, her face in the other. 

‘I’m so sorry. I’ll do everything I can to come home to you’.

Looking to her dad, she tried to sound ready and fearless, “ready?”

“Only if you are”. 

‘I’m not.’ 

“Let’s go.” She put the hand gun in her holster and slung a rifle over her shoulder. Taking one last look back, she whispered, “I love you” before closing the door behind her.

At the sound of the door clicking closed, Asami broke down. Painful sobs tearing through her body.

‘Please, mom, keep her safe. Bring her back home to me alive’.

She felt the gentle touch of Senna’s hand on her back, her sniffles telling her that she was just was worried. “This.. will never get easier. This isn’t the first time Tonraq has found himself in a battle. I wish there was something I could say or do to help ease your heart, but from experience, there’s not much to do but wait”.

“Senna,” she choked, “I wish there was a way to put into words how in love with your daughter I am. I’m so scared I’m going to lose her. I... I cancelled my flight back. I can’t just leave”.

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you need. What about your company?”

“They’ll call if they need me. It’s.. it’s a perk of owning the place”. She took a drink of the whiskey.

‘Spirits, Korra. How on earth could you chug this from the bottle?’  
___________

Tonraq and Korra walked together in silence, snow and ice crunching under their feet. Korra was the one to break the silence.

“Can I tell you something that you absolutely can’t tell mom, no matter what happens?”

‘I could die today. Someone needs to know besides Asami’.

“Of course. Whatever it is, I’ll keep it a secret”.

“Dad... I was a junkie for a long time. It’s why I never went back to fighting, at least legally. I think I tried everything at least once. If I wasn’t high, I was drunk. Sometimes both. I-I’ve been sober for a little over two months now, almost three. It’s why I snapped at the first meeting with the elders. I.. still get withdrawal symptoms sometimes and the itch to use hasn’t completely gone away. Especially when I’m pissed off or upset”.

Tonraq stopped and held his daughter by the shoulders. “Why didn’t you say anything? We could have helped you”.

“I guess I didn’t want to deal with the disappointment from you guys..”

“Does Asami know?”

“Yeah. She’s the one who pushed me to get sober”.

He nodded slowly. “Well, I am proud of you for staying sober for nearly three months”.

Suddenly they heard a shot crack off the boulder next to them. Rushing behind the boulder, they both readied their rifles.

“I love you, dad.” She pushed down the memories of three years ago.

“I love you too, Korra”.

He radioed for warriors to come to their position for backup before leaning around and firing a few rounds in the direction of where the first shot came from.

Korra leaned around and saw the woman with the weird tattoo staring at her from the cliffs. “This is for breaking my back”. She let off a round and hint her right in that stupid tattoo. Watching as she fell back over the cliff, she set her rifle down.

“Korra?” 

She suddenly bent over and puked.

“F-first kill sweetie?”

She nodded before retching again.

“It doesn’t get easier”.

Suddenly gunfire opened up around them as their backup arrived.

‘Thank the spirits’.

She picked her rifle back up after wiping her mouth. “One down, three to go,” she whispered, following her father cover to cover.  
__________

One of the guards entered the home and Asami felt her heart clench.

“Ladies, we just received word that two members of the Red Lotus have been taken down. The chiefs are okay and fighting hard along the warriors”.

“Thank you,” she heard Senna whisper before the guard walked back out.

“I just want you to know, you’re an amazing mother”. Asami’s voice was soft and weak from crying.

“Thank you, dear. I’m sure yours is just as amazing as well.” She lightly covered Asami’s hand on the table. “She raised quite an amazing woman.”

Asami swallowed hard, feeling the tears she no longer had to cry. “S-she was”.

Senna’s face held deep concern for the woman sitting next to her, afraid she had said the wrong thing. She squeezed Asami’s hand gently. “Was?”

“She was killed.. when I was 6,” she confessed at a whisper.

Pulling her into a hug, she held the back of Asami’s head to her shoulder. “I’m so sorry”.

Choking on a broken sob, she confessed more, “she sent Korra to me. During the Lights, I asked. And.. and then there was a shooting star. I’ve never been spiritual but.. it was her. Right?”

“Of course, dear. It’s hard to argue with things that happen during the Lights. I’m sure she loves you deeply to send Korra to you. You both needed each other. And still do”.

“I think.. I’m going to lay down. Let me know when more information comes through?”

“You know I will. How about you grab a few blankets and lay on the couch? I won’t disturb you, but I would feel better if I could keep an eye on you during this time”.

Asami nodded slowly, standing. “Thank you for everything, Senna. You’ve been too good to me”. 

She went up to Korra’s room, opening her closet. She took her formal robe off the hanger and grabbed the blanket off the bed. “Please, Korra, come home”. She wiped a tear that had slowly ran down her cheek before heading back down the stairs and into the living room.

Senna watched quietly with a sad smile as Asami wrapped Korra’s robe around herself before laying down and covering up. “I can’t imagine the hurt you’re feeling,” she whispered, knowing she wasn’t able to hear her.  
_______________

“I don’t think he came with them, Korra. And it’s starting to get dark so we should set up camp”.

“Are you sure we drove the North back far enough? And why would he only send two of his little henchmen?”

“I don’t know. He could be planning his next move off in the distance”. Tonraq began unpacking his tent and bedding.

Korra looked past the edge of the cliffs to the horizon. They had managed to win this little skirmish with no casualties and few injuries, but she couldn’t shake the pit in her stomach that things were going to be very bad within the next few days. All she wanted was to go home and be in her girlfriend’s arms. She could feel her hands starting to shake. 

“Dad? Did.. did you bring any alcohol?”

He looked to his daughter after setting up the tent and tossing the bedding inside. “Korra...”

She never turned around to face him. “Dad, please”. He could hear the tears in her voice. “I need something. I can’t do this”.

With a frown, he pulled a bottle of scotch from his bag and walked up to his daughter. “Not too much, okay? Just.. take the edge off”. He opened the bottle and took a drink before handing it off to Korra.

She took a long drink before asking, “how long are we going to be out here?”

“Could be weeks”.

She looked at the bottle and took another drink before handing it back to her dad. “We should make this last,” she whispered before heading to the tent.

Tonraq watched as the tent flap closed behind her before taking a drink and putting the cap back on the bottle.

Korra laid on a small pile of fur, pulling a blanket over herself. This was the first night in months she would be sleeping without Asami next to her. She finally let herself cry. She was scared. There was no way she would get much sleep tonight.  
__________

Senna touched Asami’s shoulder gently. “They set up camp. I brought you some soup. I know you’re probably not feeling hungry, but you should try to eat something”.

Asami opened her eyes and sat up slowly, taking the bowl from her. “Thank you. How long are they going to be gone?”

“I wish I had an answer for you, dear”. She adjusted Korra’s robe around her shoulders tighter. “They’re both incredibly strong fighters”.

Asami took a spoonful of the soup. “I know. I’m just... scared. I can’t lose her. Not yet. Not like this. We’re.. supposed to have a family and grow old together”.

‘Well, shit’.

Senna tried to fight the smile that came to her face, knowing her daughter’s love was very much hurting. “She’ll come home to us. To you”.

“I.. uh... that wasn’t supposed to come out”. She took another bite, trying to hide the sudden embarrassment over what she had just said.

“Emotions make us say things we’d usually keep to ourselves. But... I would very much like to see that future for you both”.

“You would?” 

“Of course. You make her so happy in a way I haven’t seen in several years. She wasn’t even like this when she was dating that boy. This kind of love was never there. I wish you could see the way she looks at you”.

Asami finished her soup quietly, letting Senna’s words sink in.

“Thank you. I think that’s what I’m supposed to say, at least”.

“You’re welcome, dear. Try to get some sleep tonight. I’ll come get you if I hear anything”.

Asami stood, gathering the blanket before she went to Korra’s room and laid down. She took a deep breath, able to faintly smell Korra, earthy with a hint of the ocean. Pulling Korra’s pillow into her arms, she whispered, “I miss you”.  
____________

Days had turned into weeks. Korra wished she had brought her phone, just to let Asami know she was okay. She left it behind knowing there wouldn’t have been cell reception. They had several small battles pop up as they made their way along the coast, which is where she found herself yet again with her father. The night before, she finally got a name for the face that tried to kill her three years ago, Zaheer.

Sighing, she shouldered her rifle to take a shot at some Northerner. She had only killed twice, and she hated every moment of it.

‘This is war, I suppose’.

Pulling the trigger, she heard a click. She reached into her coat pocket, finding it empty. 

‘Fuck’.

“Dad, I’m out of ammo for the rifle”. She unholstered her handgun after tossing the rifle to the side.

“Stay behind me and watch my back. We’re pushing forward”.

Korra stayed close to her father’s back as they darted out of cover to move forward along the cliff side. That’s when she saw him, the man from three years ago, Zaheer, gun trained on them. She took a deep breath, hooking her foot around her father’s to trip him.

‘Sorry, dad. I can’t let you do this’.

As he fell forward, Korra felt hot lead rip through her shoulder. 

‘Damn it’.

She felt another round hit her, breaking her collarbone. Stumbling back, her foot hit ice and she felt herself fall as her foot went over the edge of the cliff.

‘Well fuck me I guess’.

She heard her dad fire a few rounds right before she landed on a ledge several feet down. The last thing she could remember was her dad's voice calling her name and shouting something along the lines of “I want that piece of shit, alive” while she whispered to herself, “I love you, Asami”.  
___________

Asami had just gotten off the phone with Opal when there was a knock at the door. Both her and Senna walked to the door together and when they opened it, they saw the two guards remove their helmets. 

Senna’s face was blank, as if she had been waiting for this day for years. Asami, however, felt her legs give out as she brought her hands to her mouth. Both women waited to hear who’s name was going to fall from the guard’s lips.

“Ladies, we need to inform you that Chief Korra...”

Hearing her girlfriend’s name, Asami went numb as the sobs tore through her body. She could hear the guards voice, but couldn’t make out the words over her sudden and painful grief.

Senna closed the door quietly, tears in her eyes and knelt down next to Asami. She pulled her close, not saying anything.

‘This can’t happen. This isn’t real’. It was the only thing running through Asami’s mind.  
_________

Tonraq held his daughter’s body close as his driver sped to the nearest hospital. His eyes were cold and distant as he brushed Korra’s hair out of her face. “Hang on, sweetie. You’re going to make it”.

“Sir, the warriors have captured Zaheer. He’s alive, but maimed. Your shots hit his legs and one of his shoulders”.

“Good”. His voice was cold.

He pulled Korra closer to his chest. “We got him. Now I’m going to make him pay”.

Korra’s hand moved slightly as they pulled into the hospital’s emergency bay. “D-dad?” 

“I’m right here. Don’t move, sweetie”. He moved out of the van, Korra mostly dead weight in his arms and rushed her into the hospital. Placing her onto a bed that was prepared, he whispered with tears in his eyes, “I love you”.

As he watched as they rushed his only child to surgery, he let himself finally break down, falling to his knees and punching the floor beneath him. He saw a pair of his guard’s boots next to him through the tears. “Your wife and Miss Sato have been informed, sir. They should be on their way shortly”.

“Thank you,” he managed between broken sobs.

Moments later, he let a nurse lead him to a private waiting room. He sat, staring at the floor.

After what felt like hours, he heard the door open and close but didn’t look up.

“Honey... what happened?”

“Zaheer. He shot her twice.. she ended up falling over the side of a cliff. Thank the spirts there was a ledge under her or...” his broken voice trailed off, not wanting to consider that had not the ledge been there, he would have lost his daughter. “She’s.. in surgery. Last I heard, she should be okay. Banged up, but alive”.

He stood slowly and wrapped his arms around the two women tightly. Asami was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief. 

‘She’s going to be in pain, but she’s going to live. I can work with that’.

The trio heard a knock before the door opened slowly. Asami and Senna turned, one of Tonraq’s hand on each of their shoulders.

“Katara. How bad is my little girl?”

“She’s lucky. There was surprisingly little damage to her shoulder. The collarbone will take some time to heal, as well as her ribs and wrist. The fall broke 3, while I can only guess the wrist is because she tried to break her fall. By some miracle, she didn’t sustain any head injuries, aside from a few scrapes and cuts. She’s out of surgery. I’ll come get you when she’s awake. Your daughter is going to be okay”.

Tonraq picked Asami up off her feet in a hug after Katara had left the three alone. “She’s going to be okay”. She could hear the smile in his voice, but all she could manage was tears, both relieved and sad. She had come too close to losing the love of her life. 

‘Thank you, mom. For saving her’.

Once Tonraq set her back on her feet, all she could do was press her face to his chest and cry. “I was so scared”.

“We all were. But I can’t imagine what it was like for you”.

Asami pulled back and wiped her eyes. “No. I could find love again, maybe. But.. you two would have lost your only child. I can’t even begin to understand how scared you were”.

She felt Senna’s had on her back. “No, Asami. You wouldn’t have found love like this again”. She looked up at her husband. “Trust me”.  
_________

Korra woke with a groan. Her body hurt and her head was pounding.

“Welcome back, chief. Do you need anything?”

She was vaguely aware of where she was and what happened. Only two thoughts were in her mind. 

‘Is my dad okay? Does Asami know?’

“Water?” Her voice was scratchy.

“Of course. Are you in any pain right now?”

She nodded slowly, closing her eyes again. 

“I’m going to give you something for the pain and then get you some water. Would you like to see your dad?” The nurse pushed some narcotics through her IV.

She snapped her eyes open “H-he’s here?” 

“Of course he’s here. He brought you in”. 

Korra sat up too fast, pain shooting through her arm and side. “Son of a-!”

The nurse gently laid her back down. “Next time, ask for some help sitting up”.

Korra closed her eyes as she felt the narcotics start to take effect. “Water, help me sit up a bit, then get my dad?” 

‘Mmm that feels so good’.

“I can work with that. Hang tight”. 

After the nurse left, Korra looked down at her left arm. She was in a cast from her hand to her elbow and in a sling. Wincing, she tried to move her arm.

‘Well that sucks’.

She tried to take a deep breath, but was again met with pain. The nurse had returned with water and a straw, helping Korra get a drink. “Ready to sit up?”

“I.. think so”. She felt the nurse steady her back as she raised the bed to a reclined position.

“Is this too much?” 

“It’s fine. Thank you. So.. my dad?” She took the cup of water from the nurse when she offered it to her.

“I’ll go get him”.

Korra laid her head back against the pillow and let her eyes fall closed, enjoying the feeling of the narcotics. 

‘This could get bad real quick’.

Moments later she heard her door open and opened her eyes to see her dad. She could tell he had been crying. 

‘So I guess my little... stunt wasn’t well received”.

“Hey, kiddo. How are you feeling?”

“Sore... but alive”.

“Korra... I am so proud of you”.

“Okay. You lost me. I tripped you and almost died again. And you’re proud?”

“You are an amazing woman and chief of this tribe. I would have done the same thing had it been me. Also, we captured him. Alive”.

“What? Why alive?”

Tonraq gave a dry chuckle. “I need to make him pay for the things he did to you. Death would have been too.. merciful”.

She rolled her eyes. “We don’t torture people, dad”.

“Whoever said that?” 

“You implied it”.

He sat on the edge of the bed. “Katara said you broke your collarbone, wrist, and three ribs. And that your shoulder was hardly damaged. How did you not hit your head with that fall?”

“Putting my hand down to attempt to break the fall? I guess I’ll take a broken wrist over head trauma”. She let out a soft sigh. “Does mom know? And... and what about Asami?”

“They know. They’re here too”.

“What?! Really? Asami flew all the way back?”

“Your mom said she never left. I’ll go get them”. He stood to leave the room when Korra grabbed his hand.

“I love you, dad. And I’m sorry for being such an ass growing up and even now and.. for all that stuff I told you about”.

He gave his daughter’s hand a squeeze. “I love you too. But.. there’s a certain someone else who loves you who really wants to see you. Unless you want your mom first”.

“Is mom okay with it?”

“It was her idea. Something about you two needed some time alone together. And don’t even think about it, you’re too injured”.

“Dad! Gross. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to because of the pain”.

“Knowing you... you’d find a way,” he chuckled before letting the door close behind him.

“Ughhh why do you gotta say things like that...”

She could feel herself starting to doze off, a small smile on her face.

‘She stayed. She stayed with mom during all of this. At least neither of them were alone. And I’m alive. And I get to see her again’.

She snapped her head up at the sound of the door closing, blue eyes meeting green. Giving Asami a tired looking lopsided smile, she felt tears run down her cheeks.

“Hey, ‘Sami. I missed you”. She reached out her good arm towards her girlfriend.

Asami took no time in closing the distance between them, planting a kiss to her lips. She pulled back and wiped the tears out of her own eyes. “Don’t you ever do that to me again. I thought you were dead”.

Korra cupped her cheek gently. “I’m sorry. But.. we got him. I guess he’s currently locked up in a max security prison. And I’m okay”.

Sighing, she held Korra’s face gently in her hands, brushing the tears off her cheeks. “Okay? Have you looked at yourself? Bruised and cut up and in a sling. Korra, I love you, but please stop scaring me to death”. 

“But I’m alive. And by the odds, I should be dead. The fall did more damage than anything else”.

“And what about your mental health?”

Korra fell silent for a moment before responding. “I... don’t actually know. I mean, I’m expecting to have nightmares. None of that was exactly a good time. But... my biggest nightmare is currently in jail”.

“I’m talking about the drugs and drinking. Should I be worried?”

Deciding honesty was her only option she answered, “y-yes. You probably should be. They’re going to have me on some powerful painkillers. And knowing how I get sometimes, I’m going to want to drink to be able to sleep.. babe?”

“Yes?”

“I.. want you to keep count of whatever pills they send me home with. You can even be the one to dose them out”.

Asami fell silent for a moment, in shock her girlfriend wasn’t only being honest about the possibility of a relapse but also that she openly asked for help. “Are they sure you didn’t hit your head? Korra, sweetheart, this is a huge step”.

“I.. know. I don’t want to go back and have to start over. Or put you through it”. She looked away from Asami, tears in her eyes. “You.. saved me from myself”.

“Of course I’ll help you. Do you know when you’re getting released?”

“No, not yet. Maybe a couple days? You don’t have to stay here”.

“Korra. I’m staying. I’ve been without you for weeks, then I think you’re dead. No. I’m staying”.

“Okay, okay. I just know how hospital furniture can be. Don’t want you being in too much pain from it”. She grabbed Asami’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “I love you”.

“I love you too”. She watched as Korra was having a hard time keeping her eyes open, the narcotics in full effect.

There was a soft knock on the door before it opened. “I hate to interrupt, but Chief Tonraq wanted me to let you know he and Senna went home. You’re more than welcome to join them, or you can stay here”.

“I’ll stay here. Thank you”. 

“If you need anything, Miss Sato, don’t hesitate”.

She watched as the door closed before looking to Korra. A smile crept to her face as her girlfriend started snoring softly. She carefully climbed into the bed next to her after taking her shoes off, resting her head on the right side of Korra’s chest. Just before she let her own exhaustion take over, she felt Korra shift slightly in her sleep to rest her chin on her head and her good hand on her waist. Hospital beds may suck, but Asami decided she could sleep anywhere as long as they were in each other’s arms.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No summary, just a smut filled chapter. I have no words 😅🤭
> 
> We needed some after last chapter, tbh

“Korra, you gotta get up”.

“Nope. And your hair’s wet”. She blindly reached out, sleepily shoving Asami’s head away.

“I let you go back to sleep while I took a shower. Now,” she pulled the blanket off of her girlfriend, “time to get up”.

Groaning, she rolled onto her stomach. “Come on, babe. I’m so tired. How do you function this early?”

“To start, I don’t get into a ring and beat the shit out of other women. Second, I’m used to being up much earlier for work”. 

Korra pulled a pillow over her head to block out the light in the room. She just wanted a few more minutes, maybe an hour, of sleep. Suddenly she felt the pillow taken from under her hand. 

“Babe!”

“Come on, sleepyhead. Bo and Opal still want to have that double date for lunch”.

“I won my fight last night, I deserve some extra sleep”. She shifted and put her arms under her head.

“Someone’s awfully grumpy this morning. How about some coffee?” Asami started rubbing Korra’s lower back, slowly making her way up to her shoulders.

“Or you could just keep doing that,” Korra breathed out, feeling some of the soreness ease.

“How is your shoulder doing? You took a pretty hard hit to it last night.”

“Mmmm... it’s okay. Just...” she let out a soft groan as Asami applied more pressure. “... tense”.

“I just noticed you were favoring your right side after the hit. It’s only been a few months and I don’t want you to have to step back, considering you just got back onto the main card”.

“I know. If it really starts bothering me, I’ll let you and Bumi know”. Korra let out a groan of protest when Asami stopped massaging her shoulders before rolling over and sitting up. “I also recall someone promised me coffee”.

“You might want to get out of bed for that. I’ll be down in the kitchen.” She gave Korra a soft kiss before heading out of the room.

‘I’m gonna ask her. We’ve been together for close to a year. And I’ve recovered enough the chance of another relapse has gone down considerably. I think.. it’s time’.

After taking a quick shower, she joined Asami in the kitchen. Taking the cup of coffee Asami offered, she took a sip.

“So.. I’ve been thinking..”

“That sounds dangerous, but go on”. Asami raised her eyebrow as Korra pulled herself up to sit on the counter. “I also remember a certain someone telling me tables are for glasses, not asses”.

She rolled her eyes. “I’ve been thinking that since my lease is almost up.. and I’ve been doing so much better, and I love you so damn much... I think I’m ready to move in. If.. that is, if you still want me to”.

A smile lit up her face. “Of course I still want you to. I was just waiting on you to make that decision. You practically live here as it is”.

Korra’s phone started ringing and she took it out of her pocket. “I-it’s my dad”.

“Well, answer it”.

Hitting accept call after setting her coffee down, she put the phone to her ear. “Dad? Is everything okay?”

Pause.

“Um.. in my opinion, that won’t help”.

Pause.

“You.. he.. what? What about Eska and Desna?”

Pause.

“Seriously?! Well... your idea could work, then”.

Pause.

“Dad, I’m not down there. I can’t really-“

Pause.

Korra ran a hand through her hair with a sigh. “Yeah. I’ll write something up and send it down. Love you, dad. Bye”.

Korra set her phone down beside her on the counter, chewing at her lip. She knew she was technically a chief now, but still got nervous whenever her dad asked her to make some decisions. Tapping her fingers on the edge of the counter, she looked to Asami. She knew that her girlfriend has had to make some tough decisions for her company.

‘But nothing like making decisions for a whole tribe...’

“Babe? Um.. I might need your help”.

“I can try. I’m no chief of the South, but if you need to bounce some ideas off me, I’m game”.

“So.. dad wants to keep the North and South split. I didn’t think it would work, but he was finally able to capture my uncle and send him to prison. Which left my cousins to lead the North. And.. they kinda worked with my dad to end the civil war, finally”.

“Do you think keeping the tribe split is a good idea now? It won’t cause a greater rift, will it?”

“They’re still working out the details of how to prevent this from happening again. My dad wants me to finalize the decision. I’m not there so.. I have to write a speech type thing and send it down”.

Asami stepped between Korra’s legs, draping her arms over her shoulders. “I support your decision.. chief”. She gave a lingering kiss, feeling her girlfriend’s hands on her waist. “When did you want to move in?”

“Mmmm.. my lease is up at the end of next month”. Korra let her eyes wander over Asami’s lips. “But... all I’d need to do is get my shit out and pay my last bit of rent. Really, I could move in at any point”.

“We could always ask Bo and Opal to help. How does getting your things here next weekend sound?”

“I think we could make that work”. She hooked a leg around Asami’s hips and pulled her closer.  
_________

“You think they’re still gonna come?”

Opal set down her glass of water with a smirk after taking a drink. “I’d only guess that’s why they’re running late. In all the time I’ve known Asami, she’s usually early to everything”.

Bolin had just ordered appetizers when he noticed the other pair walking towards the table. He gave them a knowing smirk when they sat down.

“Sorry we’re late. We.. needed to talk about some things”.

Opal raised her eyebrow at her friend. “Right. Must have been some good talking for Korra to have lipstick under her jaw”.

Korra’s hand shot to the spot in question to rub the lipstick mark away, face tinting pink. “Would you guys be cool with helping me move in with her this weekend”.

“Random,” Bolin’s voice was a mix of confusion and teasing. “But I think we could do that”.

“It’s about time, Asami! You’ve been together, what, 9, 10 months now? I know you wanted to take things slow, but this is agonizing after what you told me”.

Asami had tried to stop her friend, but knew it was too late when she heard both her girlfriend and Bolin both ask, “what?”

It was Asami’s turn to turn pink. She wasn’t about to tell the two of them she was sure she was going to marry Korra some day, especially not Korra. “Just... that I really love you”. She took Korra’s hand, trying hard to sell this coverup. “I see a future for us, so I told Opal I was ready to take the next step and have you move in”.

She felt Opal kick her under the table before saying, “It was something like that I suppose”.

“You know.. you guys could have had a baby in the time you’ve been officially together”.

Silence fell as all eyes turned to a smug looking Bolin. 

“Why? Why do you have to say things like that, Bo?” Korra slapped his shoulder. “It’s not like I could get her pregnant even if I wanted to”.

Bolin was left gawking at his friend, her mouth very clearly working much faster than her brain. Opal kicked her currently very red faced friend under the table with an expression that read ‘you forgot to mention that bit of information’. Asami had kicked her back with her own expression of ‘we’ll talk later’.

Regaining her composure, and trying to push her girlfriend’s words to the back of her mind, she gave Opal a smug look after the waiter had brought the appetizer and took their orders. “Bo isn’t one to bring up the topic of children at random, so is there something you would like to share?”

Bolin stopped fighting with Korra over the number of wings to share long enough to stare at his fiancée.

“What? Um. No. You’d be the first to know, after him, of course. We.. don’t want to start actually trying until after the wedding”.

“So... you guys are actually going to start having as much sex as ‘Sami and me in about two weeks now? It’s about time. Cranky Bo needs laid”.

“My sex life is fine for what we want right now, thank you very much, Miss Avatar”.

“See? Cranky Bo.” She felt Asami grab her thigh, rather close to her crotch, and she stiffened.

“And if someone keeps talking about sex at the table, there’s going to be one cranky Korra”.

Feeling the hand slide to the inside of her thigh, she fought the heat rising to her face. “Y-you wouldn’t”.

Asami trailed her hand up and quietly unbuttoned Korra’s pants, she knew it was an empty threat, but watching her girlfriend squirm was almost worth it. Almost. Trying to not be obvious to her friends, she tugged Korra’s zipper down. “I would. So I suggest you stop teasing our friends”. She pulled her phone out and set it on the table with a smirk.

Korra fumbled for hers and did the same. “So.. um.. the wedding? When and where are we meeting to get ready?” She pretended to open her schedule, but instead shot a quick text to her girlfriend.

-what the hell are you doing?-

“The girls, minus you of course, are meeting at Asami’s place and you’re gonna meet with the guys at ours. As for a time.. probably 8 in the morning”.

-we can have sex whenever, remember? Don’t have to worry about an unexpected pregnancy-

Asami slowly slid her hand into Korra’s underwear. “That will work for me as long as I can get this power sleeping champ out of bed by then”. She slowly ran a finger along Korra’s slit, trying not to smirk at the way she opened her legs more.

-plus you’re so wet already. Can’t believe you’re ready for a round 2-

“I-I don’t have a fight the night before so I should be e-easier to wake up”. She could feel Asami slowly teasing her entrance. Slowly dipping her damn finger into her and slowly removing it. And repeat. She was going to go insane at this rate.

-bathroom?-

-nope. We’re staying here.-

Korra shot her a slight glare, which quickly faded when Asami started stroking her clit slowly.

-seriously?-

-yup-

“Speaking of, that was a pretty good fight for you last night. So happy to see you back out there. Is your shoulder doing okay?”

“Y-yeah. Thanks, Opal. It’s just a b-bit sore today”. She took a steadying breath. 

“Dude, your first fight back in the ring was soooo bad though. I thought Bumi was going to stroke out,” Bolin laughed.

Korra felt Asami flick her clit and balled her fists on the table. “Don’t remind me,” she hissed, though the air through her teeth wasn’t because of what he had said.

“I’m just saying. Last night was like seeing the old Avatar out there”.

She tried to ignore her girlfriend’s hand between her legs to stay on the topic of her fighting career. “I’m j-just glad Bumi didn’t pull me completely after I had that bit of r-relapse”. Feeling Asami slide a finger into her, she let out a sigh.

“We don’t have to talk about that, babe. It was a minor slip and you only got a two...” she slipped another finger in. “... week suspension”.

“We all knew there was bound to be a slip up after you got off the narcotics, Korra. What matters is that you admitted to it and didn’t continue”.

She felt her leg twitch as Asami hooked her fingers. Closing her eyes she whispered, “thanks, Opal”.

-you’re being so rude right now-

-you’re not complaining-

“Hey! Food’s here! I’ll eat you under the table, Avatar”.

“No! Um. Not under the table. Actually that’s A-Asami’s job. To eat me under the table. Wait. No, of course that’s not what you meant”. Korra sucked in a breath as Asami hooked her fingers again. “F-fuuuuck,” it was barely a whisper.

Bolin let out a laugh while Opal quirked her eyebrow at her.

“You okay, babe?”

“Yup! Just fine”.

She almost let out a whimper of protest when Asami removed her hand as the waiter handed out their meals. Asami moved her hand under Korra’s shirt to wipe it off on her stomach before beginning her meal.

-told you. You’re so wet, baby-

-you’re killing me-

-stop acting weird and eat. Do you want them to ask what’s wrong?-

“I’ll eat something alright,” she muttered under her breath as she picked up her fork and began her own meal.

“Did you say something?”

“Hm?” She swallowed the bite of food she had taken, looking to Opal. “No. Just that I need to remember to eat more after my fights. So I’m not starving to death the next day”.

-finish what you started-

-later, my love-

Asami reached over to tug Korra’s zipper back up and after fighting with the button one handed, managed to secure it. Looking over at her girlfriend, she noticed Korra’s jaw was tense, fighting her arousal. Asami had full intention of dragging this out, their little moment earlier this morning was far too quick. She felt only a little bad for teasing Korra like this, but she also had full intention of making her love scream and her legs shake. Something she wasn’t about to do in public. A small smile played at her lips, knowing she was willing to fight to be on top.

The four finished their meals over conversation about Opal and Bolin’s wedding. Korra tried to stay engaged in the conversation, but was finding the ache between her legs hard to ignore. Asami had brought her close to release and then just stopped. She squeezed her legs together in hopes of taking the edge off, but it didn’t do much for her. In fact, it only made her desire for the woman next to her grow.

“Well, we’ll see you two in a couple weeks”.

‘Oh, thank the spirits. I love Opal and Bo but this.. issue needs to be taken care of’.

The two couples went their separate ways to their vehicles after saying another goodbye outside. Korra grabbed Asami’s hand and all but started dragging her to the car.

“Sweetheart, what are you in such a hurry for?”

Korra could hear the smirk in her voice. As they got to the car, she pulled her around so she could lock eyes with those green ones. “What the hell was that all about?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, baby”.

She tangled her hands into raven hair, pulling Asami close, yet only inches from lips meeting. “Like hell you don’t. So either you’re going to fuck me here and now, or we’re going to go home right this second”.

“Oh, so needy”. Asami pulled their hips together. “I thought you wanted to walk around the park? It’s such a nice spring day”. 

Korra started grinding her hips into Asami’s, pushing her back against the side of the car. “Don’t care. I need you”. She nipped at her girlfriend’s bottom lip. “Now”.

A smirk came to Asami’s face as she pushed Korra’s hips back. “Not here, Korra. It’s too public. Could you imagine the headlines if someone sees us?”

“And yet you were okay with fingering me during lunch with our friends?”

“It was under the table. No one could see. Besides...” she leaned in to husk next to Korra’s ear, “I want you out of those clothes. And to behave for me”.

Korra’s face went red and her legs trembled. Sure, Asami had been a touch dominate before, but nothing like this. She knew her girlfriend enjoyed being on top. A little voice in the back of her head told her she wasn’t just going to bottom for her, she was going to be Asami’s bottom bitch this round. 

“Th-then let’s go home. Please”. She couldn’t believe how pleading her own voice sounded.

Asami pulled back and pushed her to arms length, hands resting on her hips. “I dunno, sweetheart. It’s such a nice day. The sun’s out, it’s not too cold. Are you sure you don’t want to take a walk?”

“Baby.. please. I want to go home”. She pressed her hips into Asami’s hands. “We can go for a walk later”.

“I guess since you’re asking nicely.. we can go home. I don’t know if the walk will happen though,” she said with a wink as she got into the driver’s seat and closed the door.

Korra’s mouth went dry as she stood gawking at the last comment to come out of her girlfriend’s mouth. She watched as Asami rolled the window down.

“Did you already forget how to walk? Come on, get in”.

“Uhhh... R-right”. Shaking herself back to reality, she ran to the other side of the car and got in. “How long have you been planning this?”

“I didn’t”.

“What? Cause it sure seems like it”.

Asami shrugged, starting to drive them home. “I’m just going with the flow”.

Korra shifted in her seat. “Um.. so you just suddenly decided to do that thing at the restaurant out of the blue?”

“I wouldn’t say that. It felt... right. Believe it or not, I do enjoying giving in to my.. desire for you, Korra. Sometimes it’s hard to focus on not taking you to the nearest closet...” she shifted her grip on the wheel, catching her girlfriend’s grin out of the corner of her eye.

“W-well why didn’t you say so. It can be arranged”.

Asami bit her lip before speaking. “Korra... in some situations, we can’t”.

“Hmmm... then don’t say things like that”.

“It’s only fair you know”. She pulled into the garage, cutting the engine. “Now... let me show you just how much I love you. And how happy I am you’re moving in. But...” she got out of the car. “I still want you to behave”.

Korra swallowed hard as she watched the driver’s door close and fumbled with her seatbelt. After finally getting the restraint off, she got out and closed her door a little harder than she meant to.

“Hey, no slamming the car doors,” Asami lightly scolded, unlocking the door to the house and stepping in.

Quickly following and closing the door, Korra apologized, “Sorry. I didn’t mean it. Just.. flustered?”

She suddenly found herself pinned to the door, one hand above her head, her other finding itself in Asami’s hair. Feeling hands run up her sides, she closed the distance between them in a deep kiss. Asami let her slip her tongue into her mouth after a gentle bite to her lip. She didn’t want this kiss to end, but decided that oxygen was needed. 

“Bed?” She breathed against Asami’s lips.

Asami was silent for a moment. She wanted to take Korra right then and there, but also knew deep down a bed would be much more forgiving on their bodies 

“Now,” she whispered into Korra’s ear while dropping Korra’s hand to slide her jacket off her shoulders and dropping it to the floor.

Korra removed Asami’s jacket off her shoulders while capturing her in another heated kiss. She felt her wrap her arms around her neck, bracing herself. Her body reacting on its own, she bent her knees slightly, put her hands on the back of her thighs, and lifted her up. Asami didn’t hesitate to lock her legs around her waist as she deepened the kiss, tongues in a battle for dominance. Moving a hand to rest on her lower back, Korra pressed her hips against her stomach.

Asami broke the kiss with a moan. “Korra.. sweetheart...”

The hand on her lower back slowly eased her hips into a slow rhythm against Korra’s stomach. She felt hot, open kisses trail the side of her neck, then back up and ending just behind her jaw with a gentle bite.

She gave her girlfriend’s hair a gentle tug. “I said.. bed. Now”.

“Okay, okay. I’m going,” Korra whispered against her neck, finally starting to carry Asami to the bedroom. 

She stopped nipping and kissing her neck as her foot toed at the stairs. Knowing the fun would come to an abrupt halt if she fell now, she took the stairs slowly, making absolute certain she had footing before continuing. Using one hand to keep Asami supported against her body, she fumbled for the doorknob. She finally found it as the woman in her arms held her face and pulled her into a kiss. Korra swung the door open and started making her way to the bed.

“Door,” Asami managed to breathe against her lover’s lips.

“Don’t care,” she responded breathlessly, laying Asami back onto the bed. When she felt hands in her hair, she went back to lovingly attacking the neck inches from her lips.

“B-bo and Opal have a k-key to my place,” she managed between gasps and moans.

Korra stopped long enough to gaze into her eyes. “Again. Don’t care”. She then captured Asami’s lips in another passionate kiss while fumbling helplessly with the buttons of her shirt.

Taking the tan hands in hers she whispered softly, “slow down. I happen to like this shirt”. She helped guide Korra’s hands to unfasten each button.

“Not my fault you have me all worked up”. Her breath were beginning to become heavy as she pushed the shirt off her shoulders.

“I’m not even a little sorry about it either”. She hooked her leg around Korra’s hips, using the leverage to flip their position.

Korra watched as she finished taking her shirt off and tossing it to the side. She let her eyes wander over her girlfriend’s body, taking in the shape of her breasts still trapped in the black silk bra, the soft curve of her waist and hips.

“Like what you see?”

“Every single day, clothed or.. not”

Asami blushed a deep red. She knew Korra thought she was beautiful, but every time felt like the first time she had said it. She unclasped her bra and shrugged it off before leaning over and capturing lips once again, raven locks surrounding their faces.

‘When did she let her hair down?’ 

Korra ran her hands down a bare back. She took in the soft muscle like it was her first time doing it. Truly thinking Asami’s plan was to be dominate, she was quite surprised by the sudden change of pace. She was suddenly aware this was going to be true love making and pulled her body closer by the waist.

Asami had pulled back for air, tossing her hair off to one side before looking deeply into blue eyes under her. “I love you, Korra,” she tried to push as much honesty into her voice as she could.

“And I love you, Asami”. She watched as her love rolled back, straddling her hips. Her hands started to wander up her sides, needing to feel every inch again. She would never get tired of this.

Asami slowly began to work on the buttons of Korra’s shirt, showering every newly exposed bit of skin with kisses and an occasional nip. She was going to drag this out, needing nothing short of pure love making. Bringing her up to a sitting position, she removed her shirt the rest of the way, gently tossing it off to the side before working on her bindings.

“I’ll never understand this”.

Korra let out a soft chuckle as Asami tossed the wrap to join her shirt. “It’s a tribe thing. Besides, bras are so uncomfortable”. She laid back down, bringing her girlfriend with her. 

Asami let out a quiet moan at the sudden skin on skin contact. She felt Korra roll her hips slightly under her, communicating she was still very much in the mood. “Don’t worry, baby. We’ll get there”.

Korra rolled them over, adjusting so they were straddling each other’s thigh. She slowly started working her way down from her neck to her collarbone. Knowing it was one of several sensitive spots for her girlfriend, she bit down gently before bringing some of the skin into her mouth.

Letting out a moan, Asami arched into her mouth, letting her eyes go closed. She knew there was going to be a mark there in the morning, but it felt too good to care about that right now. Holding the back of Korra’s head, she felt her continue her downward path.

Korra pressed her tongue flat against her right nipple before beginning to run slow circles around it. She gently grabbed her left breast and started to squeeze and brush her thumb over and around the nipple. Hearing the soft gasp of her lover, she took the cue to switch sides. She knew Asami’s left was much more sensitive than the right, so she took her time. After a final flick of her tongue, she continued downward, kissing and nipping at the twitching muscle under the skin before stopping at the top of her pants.

“May I?”

Those two words sent a shiver through Asami’s body. Korra had asked for permission and made sure everything was okay before continuing in the past, but this time felt different. She looked down, meeting the blue eyes filled with love.

“Yes. Absolutely,” it was barely a whisper as she raised her hips slightly. She felt calloused hands run slowly down her stomach and begin unfastening her pants. Raising her hips again, she let Korra slide her pants off. She felt her softly kissing the newly exposed skin as she went. Suddenly she had stopped with a small chuckle.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“Forgot to take your shoes off”. Korra quickly discarded the shoes and finished removing Asami’s pants. She crawled back on top, nearly missing her slight eye roll. 

“Don’t forget about yours then,” Asami chuckled softly as she heard the two thuds of Korra’s shoes. She pulled her into a long kiss, running fingers over the muscled back above her. 

Korra rolled her hips into Asami’s. The slow tenderness was nice, but she was starting to ache. Her girlfriend’s teasing at the restaurant sent her mind into a lust filled haze that still hadn’t quite left. She rolled back onto her knees, starting to work at her pants. Suddenly Asami sat up and covered her hands. 

“Let me, sweetheart”. 

She held Asami’s face gently and kissed her deeply as skilled fingers quickly unfastened her pants, slowly sliding them past her hips. Her hips rolled involuntarily, groaning into Asami’s mouth when she felt thumbs press against her hip bones. She suddenly found herself on her back, her lover removing her pants and tossing them to join the growing pile of clothing.

“I see someone is still all worked up from earlier,” Asami teased before softly kissing the inside of her thigh, slowly working her way up.

Korra pushed her head into the pillows with a moan, her hips bucking looking for needed friction.

“Not... not my fault,” she managed to breathe, feeling Asami gently bite her hip bone. A whimper of protest escaped her, feeling her girlfriend suddenly stand up. Looking to her, she saw her removing her panties and a smile came across her face seeing the slight glisten of just how wet her lover was.

‘Damn she’s absolutely gorgeous’. 

“What’s that smile for?” Asami was back on top of her, straddling her waist.

She gulped, watching a small bead drip from her lover and onto her stomach. “J-just.. I love you”. Grabbing her hips, she pulled down on Asami, guiding her in a soft grinding against her stomach. She watched attentively as the woman above her let out a gasp followed by a long moan, letting her head fall back. 

Asami’s hands fell back, finding strong thighs. She knew she was completely aroused, but wasn’t aware of how every moment Korra made sent her closer to the edge. She felt a hand leave her hip to trail around, a thumb slowly circling her clit. With a moan she bucked her hips harder, practically feeling her girlfriend’s smile. 

Korra suddenly grabbed the backs of her thighs, urging her forward. “C’mere, baby”.

“W-wait”.

She raised her eyebrows in concern. “Are you okay?” Propping herself on her elbow, she reached for Asami’s hand.

“I’m more than okay. Just...” she glanced down and behind her. “I’d like to get those off of you before we continue”.

“O-oh.. I kinda forgot?” She reached under Asami, pulling her underwear off her hips and trying to use her legs to discard them.

“If you would hold on a second..” Asami got off of Korra and helped remove the offending item.

Korra glanced down and noticed an area of shine on her stomach. With a moan, she touched the area and ran her fingers through the wetness Asami had left. “Spirts... ‘Sami...”

“Yes?” She rested her elbows next to Korra’s head, pressing her thigh against her core. Feeling her buck her hips, she wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her closer and help guide her lover in a rhythm against her leg.

Korra tossed her head back with a moan, letting Asami guide the slow grind of her hips. “‘Sami.. I need you..” she swallowed hard.

She leaned down to Korra’s ear. “You have me, baby”. 

“I-inside. Spirits, p-please..”

Asami adjusted, removing her arm from around Korra’s waist to slide her hand between them and putting her other arm behind Korra’s neck. “Are you sure?” 

She nodded, suddenly forgetting how to speak. Sliding her own hand between them, she rested it on her thigh under Asami, letting out a moan as she felt her grind her folds against her fingers.

Asami slowly slid two fingers into the woman under her, locking her hand in place with her thigh. She started biting at her jaw, thrusting her fingers slowly while grinding down against Korra’s hand.

Korra managed to get enough function back in her mind to slide two fingers into Asami, not hesitating to rub at her front wall gently. She heard her let out a drawn out moan next to her ear and bucked her hips into her hand.

Asami hooked her fingers, giving a few quick flutters. She felt Korra wrap her free arm around her upper back, fingers digging into her shoulder with a throaty moan. 

‘So close, so soon.. as if I’m not as well’.

“It’s okay, baby. I got you. Let go”. She gave Korra a deep kiss as she started hooking her fingers into her front wall every other thrust. Noticing her girlfriend suddenly forgot how to use her hand, she chose to ride the fingers inside of her, making sure to rub her clit against Korra’s palm.

Korra let her body’s instincts take over as her mind went blank with pleasure. She was only slightly aware of Asami’s walls clamping around her fingers, legs twitching. If hearing her name fall from her lover’s lips during her orgasm didn’t send her over the edge, the firm hook of fingers most certainly did. She felt her body tense as she dug her fingers into Asami’s shoulder.

“I got you. It’s okay, baby. Let it happen,” Asami whispered softly into Korra’s ear, slowly coming down off her own high and riding out the aftershocks slowly on Korra’s now tense fingers. She gave her fingers at final thrust and hook and felt her walls spasm down around her fingers. 

Korra tossed her head back in a silent scream, arching her back. She could feel the rest of it stuck in her throat as her breath had hitched.

“There ya go. Ride it out,” Asami whispered gently, slowing her fingers to nearly still to help her love ride out the aftershocks with trembling legs. She slowly removed Korra’s hand from between her legs with a quiet moan.

“Sh-shit.. spirits.. ‘Sami..” Korra knew she was mumbling between gasps.

She removed her fingers slowly, hearing Korra suck in a breath at the loss. 

“Are you okay?”

All Korra could manage was a tired, lopsided smile. She wrapped her arms loosely around her shoulders, trying to pull her girlfriend down.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Asami chuckled before laying down next to her and pulling her close. She felt her cuddle close, resting her head on her chest with a content sigh. 

“I love you, ‘Sami. I’m so happy I met you and that you stayed. Through my addiction, war, and while my body healed. You’re perfect”.

“Marry me”.

‘Shit’.

She felt Korra’s body tense slightly before she pushed herself up on her arm, eyes wide in shock.

“Wh-what?”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean-“

“Okay”. A small smile came to her face as she laid back down, closing her eyes and nuzzling her nose against Asami’s neck. “Someday I’m sure I will”.

Asami fell silent, not sure what to make of her answer. 

“But... you gotta let me do this right. My tribe has a custom so-“

“It can wait as long as you need it to. I’m not going anywhere”. She wrapped her arm around her waist, pulling her closer as her other hand stroked her cheek gently.

Korra let out a happy hum. “I think I’m gonna need a nap.. care to join?”

“Most definitely”. She gave her forehead a kiss and lightly tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I love you”.

“I love you too”.

‘At least she didn’t freak out? And she didn’t say no..’ 

As Korra fell asleep, she glanced over at the door which was now closed. Blinking in mild horror, she reached for her phone slowly to not wake the woman in her arms.

-new message: Opal  
Stopped by to drop off some music ideas but you were busy. Hope you two had fun. Call me when you’re done-

‘Fuck’.

-gonna nap first-

-that good huh?-

-shut up. I told Korra to close the door-

-better luck next time. At least I didn’t interrupt-

-thanks-

After gently tossing her phone to the nightstand, she pulled the blanket over both of them. She felt Korra stir slightly, only to adjust her head to her chest and arm across her stomach. In response, Asami smiled and wrapped her arms around her.

“You’re perfect,” she whispered softly before letting a blissful sleep take her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Opal and Bolin’s wedding, things go down, pretty minor smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW for more domestic abuse, use of drugs mentioned

Korra slung her duffle bag over her shoulder before giving Asami a quick kiss. “I’ll see you in a couple hours. Tell Opal I said good luck”.

“I will. Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to their place?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’re the maid of honor. You have plenty to do already today, including making sure Opal doesn’t break down at the last second. And I have to go make sure Bo isn’t already drunk”.

“Be safe”. Asami kissed her cheek. “See you in a few hours”.

“You too”. 

She left the house and started down the sidewalk towards her friends’ place. Suddenly anxiety started setting in as she got closer, remembering who else was going to be in the same confines. Mako. But this was Bolin’s big day, so naturally his brother would be there. She took a calming breath before knocking on the door. 

“Hey! Bo was starting to get worried you weren’t going to show”.

‘How does he know Kai-from-the-diner?’

“Clearly he doesn’t know me as well as he thinks. I wouldn’t miss this”. She followed Kai to the living room, laying eyes on a fidgety Bolin.

‘Oh boy’.

Korra set her bag down on the couch and rested her hand on her friend’s shoulder. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll be fine. This is just so stressful. Oh. I forgot to tell you, you’re kinda my best wo-man now”.

She quirked her eyebrow. “What about your brother?”

“He’s still part of the wedding party. I just.. he.. it’s complicated so I asked him to step back”.

“Right.. um.. just keep in mind I don’t drive. So he’s going to have to drive us up to the mountains”.

“I know. I told him to play nice. This isn’t the day for him to do anything to you or Asami. Same goes for you though. Play nice”.

“I’m not going to start anything with him. I... never have”. Korra tried to push the memories of him out of her mind, fighting to keep her voice level.

“Hey, go on and get yourself dressed”. Bolin held her shoulders gently. “I won’t let him hurt you, okay? Normally, I wouldn’t put you into this situation, but he’s my brother”.

“Bo, it’s cool. Really. He’s your brother. If you didn’t have him here for your big day, I’d be super worried something was wrong with you. But.. thanks. Really”. She gave her friend a gentle hug before grabbing her bag and making her way to the guest bedroom. 

‘Just be happy for him. You’ll get to be with Asami soon and fuckface won’t matter’.

She took a shaky breath, closing the door and tossing her bag to the bed. After opening the bag and pulling the pieces to her tux out, she took her t-shirt and sweats off. Turning, she saw herself in the full body mirror on the back of the door. She walked closer, tears in her eyes, looking at the phantom bruises on her body. 

She looked over the swollen eye and busted lip, easy to explain given her career. The bruising on her throat was harder to cover up with a half assed lie. Eyes trailing down her torso, the phantom bruises on her ribs were another she managed to pass off with her fights. Her eyes rested on the bruised grip on her left bicep, marks of fingers clear. She looked to her right wrist and noticed the same marks.

She closed her eyes and shook herself out of her head. Looking back up, she saw herself as she was now. A tear trailing down her cheek, clenched fists, jaw taught. 

‘I can do this’.

With a deep breath, she turned back around. She pulled the dress shirt on, quickly closing the buttons before pulling the pants on and tucking the shirt. Going back to the mirror she tied her tie and adjusted her collar before putting the emerald vest on, securing the buttons on it and fastening the pants.

‘I can do this’.

It’s all she could keep telling herself to keep from falling apart at the thought of spending a day with Mako. She went back to the bed, pulling on the tux coat, making short work of the buttons. 

With a soft chuckle she thought, ‘Asami is going to be so frustrated with the amount of buttons on this getup’.

She pulled her shoes on and turned back to the door, her stomach dropping. Blue eyes met amber. She set her jaw.

“Knocking would be helpful”.

“Sorry. Um.. Bo wanted me to check to see if you were ready? So..” he looked away from the woman in front of him. Clearing his throat, he stepped into the room, boutonnière in hand. 

“Get out”.

“Korra.. can we talk?”

“I thought Bo wanted you to check to see if I was ready. I am. So no, we can’t-“ she felt him grab her lapel and her heart started pounding, memories racing to the front of her mind.

‘I can’t do this’.

Korra grabbed his wrist, snatching the flower from him with her other hand. “I said get out. I’ll do this myself”. She knew her voice was trembling.

“Listen to me for one-“

“No. Leave. I can’t have you in here with me. Alone”.

Mako let his wrist fall from Korra’s hand. “I’ll... come get you in a few minutes”. He gave a sad, strained smile as he left the room. “I am sorry, just so you know,” he said quietly before closing the door behind him.

Korra sat on the edge of the bed, hands trembling as she fought with securing the boutonnière. She felt like she couldn’t breathe.

‘This is going to be a very bad day’.  
__________

“Kuv, hold still”.

“I’m used to braiding my own hair, okay?”

“And I never thought I’d see the day of you wearing a dress, let alone any sort of makeup”.

Kuvira shot Asami a glare through the mirror. “I’ve.. worn dresses before. Just..”

“Not recently? Or not since you were little?” Asami secured the hair tie. “You look great”.

“And you have a girlfriend”.

Asami rolled her eyes, about to tell her friend that there was no chance that she was hitting on her. Then she heard the happy voice of her best friend come from the other side of the room.

“Fiancé!”

“Oh, no shit? What happened to Miss Sato taking things slow with this one?”

Her face went red as she stammered for a moment. “Well.. um.. listen. We had some great sex..”

“It looked great from what I could see!”

“Opal! Ugh.. and it just kinda slipped?”

“Woah. Hold on. Opal saw?” Kuvira’s smirk had changed into a shit eating grin.

“No. Stop. We are not talking about this”.

“I saw enough to leave them alone and close the door for them. Some things you just don’t unsee. Like your best friend grinding against her girlfriend’s abs. Thankfully Korra still had her under-“

“Enough! Spirits, I hate you two”. Asami turned away, trying to hide her face.

“So let me get this right.. Opal walked in on you two, closed the door and left, and you decided to propose at random?”

“We were done and cuddled up together and I just kinda.. said it. It wasn’t anything official. Besides, you know her tribe has some serious customs when it comes to.. marriage”.

“But she didn’t say no”. Opal joined the two, wine glass in hand.

“Why do I even tell you things?” Asami zipped Opal’s dress, usually calm hands shaking. “Besides, today is your day. My... issue isn’t about to take away from that”.

“You tell me things because I’m your best friend. Also, yes, today is my big day. This is just a nice stress relief, talking about anything other than the fact I’m getting married. And I wouldn’t say Korra’s an issue. Not with as happy as she makes you”.

“I never said she was the issue. My issue is falling absolutely in love with her in just less than a year. I don’t do that”.

“Well, you did. And I’m so here for it”. Opal gave her best friend a tight hug. 

Kuvira couldn’t help but laugh. In the time she’s known Asami, the woman didn’t fall for anyone, let alone some girl from the club.  
_________

A soft knock came from the door. Korra knew who it was, a certain amber-eyed jerk who she couldn’t deal with. She walked up to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it. 

“Ready to go?” 

“Yeah”. She brushed by him, deciding the fewer words, the better. She suddenly felt a hand around her wrist.

“Korra-“

Without thinking, Korra swung a hard backhand across his face as she spun around. The move freed her wrist from his hand and she jabbed her finger in his direction.

“I told you before. Don’t ever fucking touch me again. And don’t ruin your brother’s wedding”.

She left him standing there, rubbing the side of his face.

Watching his friend walk by and out the door, Bolin’s stomach dropped. He let out a sigh before following her.

“What did he do?”

“Doesn’t matter. Don’t worry yourself today, Bo”. Her voice was quiet and almost distant as she slowly made her way to the car.

Continuing to follow, Bolin put a hand on her shoulder. “It does matter, Korra. You’re clearly-“

Korra put a hand on the top of the car, the other over her mouth as she shrugged her friend’s off. “Please, Bo. Don’t touch me. Please..” she managed around a broken sob.

“O-okay. Um.. what can I do?” He let his hand fall back to his side. He desperately wanted to comfort his friend, but respected that she didn’t want physical contact.

“Just..” she cleared her throat, “just leave me alone for a minute”. Opening the door of the back seat, she got in the car. Before she could close it, Bolin had grabbed the side of the door.

“It may be my big day and all, but I still care about you, okay?”

“Please.. I just need a minute alone. Go.. go make sure you and the others have everything. And.. could you grab my bag? It’s in the guest room”.

“Sure thing”. He gave her a sad smile before closing the door. 

At the sound of the door closing, Korra put her face in her hands and finally let herself cry.  
~~~~~~~

Korra pulled back from their one sided kiss, adjusting Mako’s scarf. “What’s wrong?”

“Seriously? You seriously have to ask that?”

“Isn’t that how I’m supposed to find out what’s going on in your head and help?” She raised her eyebrow at him.

“You. You are what’s wrong. I was hurt that day too, Korra!”

“What?! You got your shoulder dislocated and a concussion from being pistol whipped! I almost fucking died!” She didn’t care how loud she was getting. If he wanted to fight about this, again, she was going to fight back.

“I almost lost you. That hurt too”.

“At this rate, you just might end up losing me anyhow. I’m getting so tired of fighting with you about this”.

“Oh, that fight is over. How long have you been using?”

‘Shit’.

“What? You really think I’m on drugs?!”

Mako pulled a bag from his pocket, still mostly full. 

“If you’re going to do this shit, at least hide it better so I don’t find out. What the fuck, Korra?! Are you trying to kill yourself?”

Korra flinched. “So what if I am? Like you’d care. You... you already nearly got me killed once. Do you know how hard it is to come off narcotics without having another painkiller to fall back on to ease the withdrawal?”

“So you go and get addicted to fucking cocaine?! Obviously a much better option than going to get help!”

“Maybe I also get high to deal with you!”

She suddenly felt a hand around her throat and a wall behind her. Amber eyes held blinding rage. Korra instinctively grabbed at his wrist, he’s never done this before.

“This... this is what I mean..” she managed to choke out. 

He finally dropped his hold and Korra doubled over coughing. Mako grabbed her by the ponytail, forcing her back into a standing position and backhanded her across the face, busting her lip.

“Don’t you ever bring that shit in this house again”.

Another hit, this one glancing her eye.

“Are you fucking listening to me?!”

She nodded, tears in her eyes. Korra had one hand on his forearm, trying to get him to let go of her hair. With the other, she was pushing on his chest. She needed him to just get away.

He let go, only to grab her wrist and pull her forward. “Would you say something?”

“I-I’m sorry, Mako. Please.. please stop,” she whispered through her tears.

His grip tightened. “Sometimes I wish you would fight back. That way I could show you how shitty of a fighter you actually are”. He pulled her to the door roughly and opened it. “Leave”.

A sob caught in her throat. “Where am I going to go, Mako?”

“Wherever the hell you go when you leave. I don’t care. Just go”. He grabbed her upper arm, jerking her close. “Maybe go stay with any of your fuck buddies”.

“I’ve never, ever cheated on you. Not even high. I’d take care of myself every time”.

He nearly threw her out the door. “I’m done, Korra. I’ll have Bo come get your things. I’m a cop. I can’t be with some junkie”.

Korra watched as the door slammed closed, a broken smile coming to her face.

‘Good’.  
__________

“Korra! What on earth happened to you, dear?”

“Pema.. please. I’m not here. Bumi can’t know. I.. I need to talk. And you’re a nurse”.

“Of course. Come”.

Pema led her into an exam room, locking the door behind them. In the room, Korra finally let herself break down, violent sobs tearing through her. Pema approached her, wrapping her arms around her gently. 

“Mako?”

All Korra could manage was a weak nod. Between sobs able to get out, “he found out”.

“And did... this to you instead of trying to help?”

Another weak nod.

“Okay.. okay”. She gently pulled back, raising Korra’s head. “Let me see”.

Pema looked over her face, gently wiping the blood off her lip. “You have to stop going back, dear. This is the third time in two weeks you’ve come to see me. It’s getting worse”. She looked at her neck, seeing finger marks just starting to appear and frowned. “He might kill you sooner or later at this rate”.

Another sob came through Korra’s lips. “Maybe I should just let him. Pema, I have no where else to go”.

“My offer still stands. You can always come live with us for as long as you need”.

“You and I both know I can’t be around Tenzin. Not with me on drugs”.

“He can help you”. She gently wiped the tears off Korra’s cheeks. 

“I’ll.. think about it..”  
~~~~~~~

Korra was silent the whole ride to the wedding venue, head resting on the window. Kai had placed a hand on her shoulder to make sure she was okay, but she had flinched away. Bolin had been nervously chatting in the passenger seat, Mako driving and trying to calm him down.

She got out of the car and started to head inside, leaving the others.

“Korra?”

“I.. gotta use the restroom. I’ll find you”. She waved over her shoulder to Bolin and continued her path. 

After finding her way to the bathroom, Korra locked herself into a stall, dry heaving before turning and slamming her first into the stall door. She hadn’t heard Asami enter the bathroom, but heard a soft knock on the door.

“Use the other stall”. Her voice was dry and broken.

“Sweetheart, it’s me. What’s wrong?” Asami heard a weak thump from the other side. “And please don’t bloody your knuckles before the ceremony”.

“I can’t do this”. Korra rested her head on the door. “I can’t do this with Mako here. He’s going to be walking behind us with Kuv. Behind me. Babe, I can’t”.

“Come out here and talk to me. I saw you walk in, the others know I’m in here with you and won’t bother us”.

She opened the door slowly, tear filled blue eyes meeting concerned green. Asami wrapped her arms around her girlfriend, holding her close.

“You look great. But I’ll always prefer you in blue,” she whispered softly and earned a tear filled chuckle.

“You’ll always look amazing no matter what you wear. But you look great yourself”. Korra rested her head on her shoulder. “This is going to fucking suck”.

“I’ll be right there the whole time. Believe it or not, I can still kick someone’s ass in a dress if needed”. She rubbed her back gently. “You ready?”

“No. But we gotta get out there”. Korra pulled back, kissing her on the cheek. After giving Asami’s hand a gentle squeeze, she left to go find Bolin.

-Bo, I can’t do this. Have Kai stand with you. I need to walk with Asami-  
__________

Asami made her way back to the room she had left the other girls in, seeing Su finishing Opal’s hair. She walked up to her friend, resting her hands on her shoulders. 

“Are you ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be”. She wrapped Asami in a hug. “Thank you so much for doing this”.

“As if I’d miss this for anything. You look amazing. Bo is probably going to cry before you even get to him”.

Kuvira came up, creating a group hug with the other two. “Ready for me to get the guys, plus Korra?”

Opal gently wiped the tears out of her eyes, careful to not smudge her makeup. “I’m ready”.

Kuvira left them to open the door, eyes landing on Mako as he turned. 

“You fuck up once, and you’re going to have to explain to your chief why you’re going to be missing work for months. I mean it”.

“There won’t be any issues”.

Going toe to toe with him, she whispered harshly, “you’ve already created issues. I’m not putting up with any more. The rules are simple, leave Korra and Asami the fuck alone”.

“Understood”. His tone came out stiff. 

“Good”. Leaving her tone with him, she got the attention of Baatar and Korra. “You guys can all come in now”. 

Following Kuvira, Mako entered first, eyes immediately meeting Asami’s. He quickly averted his gaze, going to Opal to congratulate her. Looking back over his shoulder, he saw Asami pull Korra into a hug he knew was more than friendly. He accidentally let a glare form on his face, not believing his two exes were probably dating. For a moment he let himself wonder how Asami could have stooped so low to be with someone like her.

“Is something wrong, detective?” Kuvira was in front of him, arms folded.

“What? No. I’m fine”.

“You sure don’t look fine. In fact, you look pretty pissed off. Listen, I don’t want to walk down the aisle with you on my arm. I’m doing this for Opal. And there’s no way in hell I was about to let you walk with Asami”.

“I mean.. she doesn’t want me around anyhow so she probably would have asked to switch-“

“If Korra wasn’t here, maybe. Did you stop to wonder why she wasn’t with us and with the guys instead?”

“Because she doesn’t like to wear dresses?”

“She would have worn one if she needed to. Are you always this dense? Spirits, Mako, it’s so she could walk with Asami”.

Before the two could argue further, they heard the music start. Asami took Korra’s arm, lining up behind Opal and Baatar. She felt Korra tense up when Mako and Kuvira lined up behind them. Glancing over, she noticed her girlfriend was staring straight ahead at Baatar’s back. She patted her arm softly as the doors opened and they started to walk to the alter.

“You take care of my little girl, Bolin,” Baatar told him softly.

“I-I will, sir,” he responded, taking Opals hands in his.

Korra parted with Asami to take her place next to Kai with a hard swallow. She tried to keep her breathing level as Mako stepped up to stand beside her, not entirely sure how she was going to make it through the entire wedding and reception. 

“Dearly beloved....”

Korra could feel her hands start to tremble as she tried to keep her focus on her friend.  
~~~~~~~

Korra woke to a kick to the ribs. Blinking awake, she was vaguely aware that she was in an alley somewhere with a pounding headache.

“What the fuck?” It was more of a grumble than anything as she sat up rubbing her head.

“Oh good. You’re alive. When do you plan on coming home?”

Springing up to her feet, she grabbed her bag and started backing up. “Honestly, never”.

“So you’re just going to wander around, getting high on spirits knows what and blackout drunk, and sleeping in random alleys?”

She felt her back hit a dumpster as Mako continued to get closer. “What would it matter to you? Would you rather kill me in your own home?”

He grabbed the strap of her bag, stopping her from getting around the dumpster. “What’s in this?”

“Are you even on duty right now?” Korra could feel her heart beating faster. She wouldn’t admit it was out of fear of knowing what was coming.

“No. But I’m going to take whatever it is and turn it in to the station. As usual, I’ll say I found it in some homeless camp”.

“If you hate me so much, why not just turn me in? Afraid I’ll say something?”

For some reason, that did it. She felt the familiar sting across her cheek. 

“I-if you need to know, I just have clothes, food, and money in the bag”. The next hit she felt was different and to the side of her jaw.

‘Did he just.. punch me?’

Finally letting go of the strap, he shoved her back into the wall. “Keep lying”. And with that, Mako left her alone in the alley.

Korra wanted to cry, but she didn’t feel anything other than numb. She pushed herself off the wall with a grunt, spit the blood that had accumulated in her mouth, and made her way through the rest of the alley. Eventually making her way to a pay phone, she dug some change out of her bag and dialed her mom’s number.

“Hello?”

“Mom, it’s me”.

“Where’s your phone?”

“It’s with..” her voice cracked “... Mako”.

“Sweetie, what’s going on?” Korra could hear the worry in her moms voice.

“I left”.

“And you didn’t grab your phone?”

“I.. I couldn’t. I had to get out.. quick”. She put her hand to her mouth as the tears she didn’t know she had left came out.

“What happened?” This time it was her dad.

“H-hi, dad”.

“Korra, what did he do?”

“He... hit me”.

“He what?!”

“Dad.. please.. I cant take the yelling right now. Love you guys”.

She hung the phone up, and sat on the floor of the booth, letting herself finally cry. A knock came from outside and she looked up to see a stranger. Getting up, she walked out.

“It’s all yours”.

“Didn’t want it. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just leave me alone”. She turned to walk away when the guy grabbed her shoulder.

“Hey, you’re The Avatar”.

Glancing at his hand, she shrugged it off. “Not anymore”. Without sparing him another look, she began to walk away again.

“But you still want to fight”.

That stopped her in her tracks. She did, but there was no way she’d be able to get a clean drug screen.

“That’s what I thought”. He approached her again. 

“Listen. I can’t”.

“Sure you can. What I do is.. underground. You’ll get paid, win or lose. Cash, drugs, whatever you need”.

Turning slowly, she stared him in the face. “Who are you?”

“The name’s Tahno”. He extended his hand. “So what do you say?”

She looked at his hand, knowing she didn’t exactly have income and took it. “Deal”.  
~~~~~~~

“I do”.

Bolin’s voice, followed by clapping brought her back to the present. Going through the motions, she linked arms with Asami again as they followed the newlyweds down the aisle and back into the room they had waited in before. Letting her arm fall from Asami’s, she congratulated Bolin and Opal before walking off down a hallway, in too much of a haze to register her girlfriend calling after her.

Korra wasn’t sure how long she had been wandering around the building or where she was. She suddenly ran right into Kuvira who wrapped her arms around her.

“What’s going on?”

“I can’t do this, Kuv”. 

She pushed Korra back by the shoulders gently, still holding onto her. “How bad?”

“7 out of 10”.

“Shit.. okay. We can get you through this. Look at me”.

“It’s hopeless as long as he’s around,” she whispered, not looking to her friend.

Kuvira grabbed Korra’s face, forcing her to look up. “Listen to me. Asami is fucking worried about you. You never turned around when she called after you. Korra, you can get through this. You have before. He told me he got help”.

“I still don’t want to be around him. I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to hear him say how sorry he is”. She could feel the warm tears on her face. “He’d always say how sorry he was. Say it wouldn’t happen again”. She choked on a sob. “And it just got worse and worse and still I fucking stayed. I kept going back. Who the hell does that shit?!”

-found her. Meet us upstairs. Third room on the left of the staircase-

-thanks, Kuv. Is she okay?-

-no-

Kuvira tucked her phone into her bra before gently leading Korra to the room she told Asami they’d be in. Sitting her in a chair, Kuvira knelt in front of her.

“That’s abuse, Korra. It’s a cycle. He hits you, apologizes, takes you out to dinner or buys you something nice, everything goes back to normal, and repeat. You finally got out and broke the cycle. You never went back”.

She slumped in the chair, quiet sobs shaking her shoulders. “No.. but... but he still hit me whenever he’d stumble into me. It didn’t stop after the relationship ended”.

Kuvira sighed softly. “I know. But you weren’t living with him. None of this is your fault. None of it”. 

“How? How is it not? Clearly just existing set him off”. Korra leaned forward, putting her head in her hands. “What did I do?”

Gently rubbing Korra’s arm, Kuvira looked over her shoulder upon hearing the door open and close. She shook her head slightly at Asami. 

“Hey,” she started gently. “Asami’s here. I’m gonna give you two a minute, okay? Don’t forget how strong you are”. Standing, she let Asami take her position in front of Korra before leaving the room.

-Asami’s taking care of her. We’ll see you guys at the reception. You and Bo have to try to stop worrying and have some fun-

-thanks, Kuv. Mom said she’s proud of you? You’ll have to ask her about that-

Asami took Korra’s hands away from her face gently. Lightly tilting her head up with her fingers under her chin, she tried to meet her girlfriend’s gaze.

“I’m here. You’re safe”.

Korra closed her eyes, a quiet sob shaking her shoulders. “Why.. why don’t you fall apart like this because of him?”

“Sweetheart.. I still hurt because of him. But he also never put his hands on me and I proved him wrong. I became somebody when he said I never could. I saved my company from the ashes. Sometimes, I hear him telling me I’ll never be worthy of love, that no one would love a business owner, that anyone would only want me for money”.

“But.. you are worthy of love, Asami. I love you and I’d still love you if you didn’t have the money. And-“

“That’s my point”. She cupped Korra’s face in her hands. “I’ve proven him wrong. I have you. And that’s proof enough for me”.

“What did I do wrong?” Fresh tears started slowly falling from her eyes.

Asami loosened her tie and unbuttoned the top two buttons on her shirt. “You did absolutely nothing wrong. You didn’t deserve any of that”. She unbuttoned and removed Korra’s jacket, hoping to give her some breathing room and to cool off. “I’m sure Kuv told you about the abuse cycle?”

Korra nodded slowly, adjusting in the chair and pulling Asami up next to her before laying her head on her shoulder. 

Asami ran her fingers through her hair gently, wrapping her other arm around her shoulders. “Then you know how hard it is to get out of something like that. Especially for someone with such a big, giving heart like you”. She heard a soft knock on the door and looked to her girlfriend.

Korra gave a slight nod.

“You can come in, Kuv”.

Kuvira opened the door slightly. “You ready to head out?”

Korra rubbed her eyes before whispering softly, “yeah. We can go”. She stood and took Asami’s hand.

“Is that 7 out of 10 lower?”

“Yeah.. more like a 4 now”.

“Alright, I’ll take that”. She patted Korra’s shoulder lightly before taking her jacket from Asami. “I’ll drive. You two get the backseat, just nothing funny. Got it?”

Asami rolled her eyes before leading Korra out of the room. “You wish”.

“Nah, I’ll pass”.

Korra followed quietly, holding her girlfriend’s hand, to the car. Asami opened the door to the backseat, letting her in first before following. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I will be. I knew today was gonna be rough, just not like this”. She rested against Asami, choosing to try to nap during the short drive.  
___________

“I was getting worried!” Opal wrapped Asami in a hug.

“Don’t tell me we missed your first dance”.

“Absolutely not. Wouldn’t have done that without you. Go. Get yourselves something to drink”.

Korra squeezed Asami’s hand, knowing that her girlfriend was going to have to monitor the alcohol after the day she’s had.

“Oh. Korra, are you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah. I’ll be alright. She’s.. not going to let me drink too much”. 

“Good. Go have some fun. We’ll have some slow dances soon”.

Korra followed Asami to the bar and ordered her usual go-to, whiskey on ice, while her girlfriend ordered a screwdriver. As their drinks were handed to them, Asami saw Mako making his way to the bar and stepped in front of Korra slightly.

“L-ladies”.

“Detective”. While Asami’s tone was cold, it wasn’t nearly as scathing as she desperately wanted to give. Years of owning a company taught her how to control her tone.

“I.. I can go. Um.. sorry for interrupting anything, Asa- Miss Sato”.

If Korra’s grip on her glass could have gotten any tighter, she would have broken it. She wasn’t sure if she was livid or terrified being around him at this point. After downing her drink in one go, she set it on the bar and quietly asked for a refill.

“Korra, I-“

“I don’t want to hear how sorry you are or how you finally went and got help. You hurt me, Mako. Repeatedly”. She downed her second drink just as quick, and again asked for another. “I should have left your sorry ass the first time. Maybe I thought it really was an accident. But after that, I don’t know why I decided it would be fine to be with you”.

“I lov-“

Korra took her third drink, downed it and stepped around Asami. “No. No the fuck you didn’t. If you loved me even a little, you never would have put your hands on me. You would have actually helped me get sober. But what the fuck did you decide to do instead?” She was toe to toe with him, waiting.

Mako could feel the familiar, pointless anger rising. “I.. I hit you”.

“No. You fucking beat me! I would have bruises for days, sometimes weeks, Mako!”

Mako suddenly raised his hand. 

“Do it. I dare you”.

Asami grabbed Korra’s hand, tugging her away from the path of his swing. “Babe, that’s enough. I know you needed to get it all out, but if he puts his hands on you, I’ll be in prison with my father. Let’s go”.

“B-babe? What? You have got to be kidding me”. Mako dropped his hand, stunned.

It was Asami’s turn to get in his face. “That’s right. We’re together. As a detective, I thought you would have figured that out by now. So for the record... I turned my company around from the ashes, found someone who actually loves and supports me, and she has shown me I am worthy of love”.

“It won’t last. She’ll just leave you for drugs and whatever else she does”.

Asami doesn’t get into fights. Asami has learned how to keep her temper under control in high stress situations, but his comment pissed her off.

“Listen up you piece of shit”. She jabbed him in the chest. “I was the one who helped her get sober. I was the one who stayed awake when she was at her worst, in the time I’ve known her, so I knew she was safe and alive. You know what she has given me in return? Apologies for me having to see her like that”.

“Then why sta-“

“I’m not done, so shut the fuck up. She has also shown me true love. True, unconditional love, Mako. Something you could never provide. She has been nothing but supportive of me with the company. I know what being happy actually is. That, Mako, is why I stay. I love all of her, broken pieces and all. And I swear to all that is sacred, if you ever raise your hand at her again, I won’t hesitate to force you into some time off work”.

Korra had taken a seat at the bar, quietly sipping at her fourth drink, watching Mako shrink under her girlfriend.

‘Note to self: do not make Asami freaking Sato pissed at you. It’s hot to watch, but I’d hate to be on the receiving end’.

Asami came up to the bar moments later, grabbing Korra’s hand. 

“You.. uh.. you good? Feel better?”

“Much. I don’t think he’ll be bothering us any time soon. How many of those have you had?”

“Uhhhh this makes four”.

“No more, okay?”

“Deal. I’m already a bit tipsy”.

Asami sat at the bar with Korra, slowly rubbing the knuckles of the hand in hers. “Can I ask you something?”

“Always. Why?”

“Why didn’t you ever fight back?”

Korra fell silent for a moment, turning the ice in her glass with her other hand. “I.. never really thought about it. Just thought I never could or it would make him angrier and things would have ended up worse”.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. But.. I am proud of you for standing up to him. Maybe he didn’t see, but when he raised his hand at you.. you never flinched”.

She looked at Asami’s hand holding hers. “I was scared though.. at least for a moment”.

“Well, you didn’t show it. Are you okay?”

“I’m good. Just... remind me to never, ever piss you off like that. I think I would quite literally die in fear. I know you’ve been mad at me, and we’ve had our disagreements, but spirits... if I was on the receiving end of that, I’d be dead”.

Asami finished her drink, setting the cup on the bar. “Come on, they’re about to have their first dance”.

Giving her a smile, Korra took her hand and found them a table in clear view of their mutual ex. Knowing exactly what she was doing, she pulled Asami into a gentle kiss before sitting down to watch their friends have their first dance. 

Once all of the clapping and cheers subsided, another slow song came on and Asami pulled Korra to her feet. 

“I still don’t dance”.

“Don’t worry, I’ll lead”. She pulled Korra close, starting to lead in the dance when her eyes locked with amber ones across the dance floor. With a smirk and never breaking eye contact, she leaned down slightly, trailing a few slow kisses on Korra’s neck.

Korra let out an involuntary moan, tilting her head off to the side to offer more of her neck.

“No, not on the dance floor,” Asami whispered. “Just.. making my point very clear to a certain someone”.

“Mmmm wanna drag me to the nearest closet then?”

“Thought you’d never ask”. She grabbed Korra by the tie, leading her around the outside of the dance floor.

“Yeah! Get it!” She heard a quite tipsy Opal shout from her new husband’s arms.

“Shut the hell up, Opal!” She called back before rounding the corner to the hall. 

Korra took no time at all pinning her to the wall, kissing fiercely. Asami knew there was a utility closet nearby and was feeling around for the door handle with one hand, keeping Korra close by the tie with the other. She finally managed to get the door handle and open the door, pulling her girlfriend back with her. 

Korra took a moment to catch her breath and close the door, jamming a mop bucket and wet floor sign under the door handle. She quickly worked on getting the vest and tie off, knowing she didn’t own them, and hung them around a broom while Asami kicked her heels off and started unzipping her dress.

“Eager?”

Nimble and skilled fingers made quick work of Korra’s dress shirt. “One, we don’t have a lot of time. Two, I’ve been wanting to get this damn tux off of you all day. So yes. I’m a little eager”.

Korra finished unzipping Asami’s dress, letting it fall to the floor before pushing her against the wall, kissing down her chest and nipping at her ribs while she got situated on her knees.

“Korra..” Asami’s plea was caught between a moan and a breath.

She wasn’t wasting any more time and tugged Asami’s panties off to the side, giving her clit a soft suck before slipping two fingers into her. Using her free hand, she unfastened her pants and slid her hand in. Moments later, there was a knock on the door.

“Occupied. Get your own closet,” Korra yelled, trying to hide the orgasm that just crashed over her, to whoever decided to try to interrupt before returning her mouth’s attention to the clit in front of her face. She felt Asami’s nails dig into her scalp as she hooked her fingers a final time. Removing her fingers from her girlfriend, she used her tongue to clean her up before standing.

“What about you?”

“I’m good”. She pulled her hand out of her pants. “Right as we were almost interrupted”. 

Asami grabbed her hand, licking her fingers clean. “Wouldn’t want that to go to waste,” she said with a wink, noticing Korra’s legs tremble.

Korra buttoned up her shirt, loosely tied her tie and threw the vest on while Asami adjusted her panties and pulled her dress back up. She zipped the dress for her girlfriend while she put her heels back on.

“Is the hair okay?”

“Flawless. Kept my hands out of it for a reason”. She turned and moved the mop bucket and sign. Before she had a chance to open the door, Asami had spun her back around.

“Hold on. You got lipstick-“

“On the corner of my mouth?” A smirk formed. “Leave it”. She opened the door, leading Asami back out to the party.

“Well, how’d it go?”

Asami’s rolled her eyes. “None of your business”. 

“Okay, whatever”. Opal drug her out to the middle of the floor as Asami mouthed a sorry to Korra.

Korra let out a chuckle, crossing her arms as she watched Opal gather several other women. 

“You’re next”. Bolin had come up behind her, causing her to flinch slightly. “Shit. Sorry. I didn’t mean-“

“Bo, it’s okay. I’m... a little better now. I had a few drinks, told your brother off, watched Asami tell him off, and then ate her out in the closet. Wait.. what do you mean I’m next?”

“You did what in the closet?! No. Never mind. I don’t want to know. Anyhow, you’re next to get hitched”.

She wrapped an arm around her friend’s back, both watching as Opal tossed the bouquet and Asami catching it. 

A smile came to Korra’s face. “I really hope so, Bo. I really, really do”.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami gives Korra a surprise before finding out they’re going back to the South for a couple important matters, only one of which she knows about. The other is still a secret between Korra and her father. Korra has her first title fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I actually finally figured out how to use this site after 14 chapters! Writing style could change a bit, so don’t be alarmed. It’s just me not being dumb about things now.

Korra was sitting on the steps to the mansion, absently tossing a ball for Naga in a half assed game of fetch. Her mind was far elsewhere. One year since she’d met the love of her life, the next day making four since she was almost killed. She knew the news would be different this year, 3 killed and one captured instead of the same old no leads. 6 months completely sober, save for Bolin’s wedding.

Naga dropped the ball by her feet and laid her head in Korra’s lap with a whine.

“I’m okay, girl. Just a weird time for me. Not quite sure how I went from not caring if I died to being actually happy in just shy of a year”. She scratched behind Naga’s ears before picking up the ball and tossing it again and pulling out her phone to call her dad.

”Hi, sweetie. Is everything okay?”

”Yeah. I just had a question. For you specifically. And I didn’t want Asami to see any texts about it”.

”Korra..”

”It’s nothing bad! Um.. How long were you and mom together before you proposed?”

”Hmmm... about two years. It seemed like it was quick, but I knew I loved her and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her”. Korra could hear the smile in her dad’s voice, bringing one to her own face.

”So a year isn’t crazy for me to want to?”

”Not if you love her the way it seems you do. Just remember-“

”Dad, I know. We have a custom and all that. I won’t do anything until we come down again”.

”Speaking of customs.. I was kinda hoping you could get down here before the Lights this year. It’s time my little girl gets her tattoo”.

”Wh-what? You can’t be serious”.

”Korra, you’re a chief now”.

”I know. I just.. didn’t think you’d want me to get the tattoo so.. soon”.

”Of course I do. I’d have asked when you were here last year, but you were too injured”.

”Right.. Um.. I’ll talk to Asami and see if we can work something out. I know she does miss you guys. Speaking of, she just got home. Love you, dad”.

”Love you too, sweetie”.

Korra ended the call, standing to follow Naga into the garage. Asami had just opened the car door and was petting the dog that was excited to see her.

”Sorry, I went to the shelter to pick her up for the weekend. I’ll take her back tomorrow evening”.

Asami looked up, seeing Korra rubbing the back of her neck and smiled. “No”.

Korra furrowed her brows in confusion. “What do you mean, no?”

“Adopt her. Officially. She’s our dog, Korra”. Standing, she pulled her stunned girlfriend into a hug. “I’m being serious”.

“But.. we don’t have supplies for a dog yet”.

“Says you”. She popped the trunk, showing Korra all the supplies they would need. “This.. is why I was a little late coming home. I wanted to surprise you”.

Korra picked her up and spun her around before setting her down with a kiss. “You’re the absolute best, I hope you know that”.

She knelt down in front of a wagging Naga, scratching behind her ears. “Hear that? You’re home”.

Asami couldn’t help the smile that came to her face. She knew Korra loved the dog and couldn’t say no after she had met Naga herself.

“Come on, let’s get this stuff inside,” she chuckled, closing the garage door and unlocking the door to the house to let Naga in.

Korra went to the trunk, grabbing a couple bags and the bag of dog food before heading inside. Asami followed shortly with the bed, placing it on the floor of the living room. She could hear her girlfriend in the kitchen, giving Naga food and water. With a smile, she made her way to the dining room after taking her shoes off and sat at the table.

While Naga was eating, Korra joined Asami at the table. “So.. dad wants us to come down before the Lights”.

“Really? I don’t have a problem with that, but is there any specific reason?” 

“He kinda wants me to get my chieftain tattoo before we go down for the Lights this year. I guess he wanted me to get it last year before we left, but I was too injured. Plus I know you really miss them”.

_And I need to find a stone._

“You guys have a tattoo? Your dad-“

“It usually goes on the back from what I was told growing up. The only time you’d ever see his is if he was swimming. Which is a rarity considering where he lives, ya know?” Korra laughed lightly, remembering clearly her first time deciding to jump into a pool of freezing water.

“Whenever you want to go, then. I’ll let the company know”.

“I mean.. you don’t have to come if you’re busy. I just wanted to let you know. I’m scheduled for a fight in a couple weeks, so I was thinking about the week after”.

Asami covered Korra’s hand. “I’m going to go with you. I do miss your parents. Seeing them more than once a year would be nice. And we can get Opal to watch Naga for us”.

Korra gave her a smile. “If you say so. I just didn’t want you to have drop everything with such a short notice”.

“Korra, three weeks isn’t a short notice”. She gave her hand a soft squeeze. “Now, if you wanted to go tomorrow I’d have to stay here”.  
____________

When Asami woke the next morning, she noticed she was alone in the bed, save for Naga curled up by her feet. Korra was almost never up before the sun. If she was, it was because she absolutely had to be and she was always cranky about it. The weird thing about this situation was that neither of them had any plans for the day.

She got out of bed, noticing Korra had left her phone behind and petting Naga before walking out of the bedroom. It was extremely out of character for her to not leave some sort of note if she was somehow awake before Asami.

_You’re never awake this early on a Sunday. What’s going on and where are you?_

Asami suddenly noticed the date as she walked by the calendar. She felt an unsettling feeling in her stomach, deciding on checking the normal places Korra went to relax. Finding the pool and gym empty, she ran her hand through her hair. With a sigh, she looked out the window to see her girlfriend sitting on the back patio with a bottle of something next to her.

_Damn it._

She opened the door and noticed Korra flinch at the sound of it closing.

“I’m sorry”. Korra’s voice was quiet and distant. Clear to Asami, she was also trying to fight slurring her words.

“How long have you been up?” Asami sat next to her, choosing to ignore the other two empty bottles next to her girlfriend’s feet.

“A few hours now”. She still didn’t look anywhere other than forward.

“Korra.. Why didn’t you wake me?”

“It was just a bad dream. Not anything to worry about”.

“Really? Nothing to worry about? If that’s the case, why are you absolutely plastered right now?”

Korra fell silent at the disappointed tone Asami had. She didn’t want to fight over this. She picked up the bottle instead.

”Don’t. You’ve had more than enough”. 

Putting the cap back on the bottle, she quietly put the bottle next to Asami. She could hear in her voice that she was at least a little mad.

”Are you not going to talk?”

“There’s nothing more to say.. You know I’m drunk. You’re hurt and pissed off I didn’t wake you. All we can do is wait until I sober up”.

“Korra, I’m not mad. I’m just-“

“Hurt? I know. All I do is hurt everyone! I obviously still can’t get through this one particular day sober”. Korra stood up, heading for the door. “I’m going back to bed. I’m not going to fight with you”.

Asami also stood and grabbed Korra’s wrist gently. “I’m not trying to get into a fight. I’m worried. I knew today was going to be hard for you. I just... I wish you would have woken me up”.

She closed her eyes, feeling her body tense.

_It’s Asami. Not Mako._

Asami furrowed her brows in concern before glancing at her hand holding Korra’s wrist. Suddenly realizing what was probably going on in her head, she let go and pulled her into a hug. She held Korra’s head to her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I’d never, ever do that to you”. Asami held Korra until she felt her relax into her arms. “There. It’s okay. I’m sorry”.

“No,” Korra’s voice was tear filled. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have drank or even gotten out of bed. I’m sorry I hurt you again. If you want me to go-“

“Never. Sweetheart, I’m all in. I’ll still be here through any slips you may have in the future. I’m only hurt because you didn’t wake me when you needed help. I wouldn’t have told you no to drinking, but I could have kept an eye on you”. She rubbed her back gently. “Did you let Naga out?”

Korra nodded, digging her fingers into Asami’s back as she couldn’t fight the tears any longer.

“Okay. Shhh, I have you. You’re alright”. She was suddenly aware she was supporting a good part of Korra’s weight and asked quietly, “do you want to go back to bed?”

Another nod.

“Alright. C’mere”. Asami picked her up, using the hand under her knees to open the door. After she got the door closed, she slowly made her way back to the bedroom.

She put Korra in bed, pulling the blanket over her shoulders before sitting on the edge of the bed. Naga had moved closer, curling up behind Korra’s knees and resting her head on her hip with a soft whine. For a few moments the only sound in the room was her quiet sniffles as Asami stroked her hair.

“Do you want or need anything? Water, something to eat, a bath or shower?”

“N-no. I just want to sleep. But.. don’t go?” Korra opened her eyes, looking to Asami.

“I won’t”. She pulled the blanket back, laying next to her girlfriend and not disturbing the dog.  
_________  
  
Rolling over, Korra felt an empty place in the bed and opened her eyes slowly. She noticed both her girlfriend and Naga were missing. Sitting up and rubbing her head, she noticed a glass of water with a couple pain relievers and a note on the nightstand.

_Figured you might need these when you wake up. I took Naga for a walk. If you’re not downstairs before 2, I’ll be up to check on you. Take your time today, sweetheart. Love, Asami_

She took the medicine that Asami had left and set the glass back down before picking up her phone.

-new message: mom

I called earlier and Asami answered. She said you weren’t feeling well. Is everything okay?-

-yeah. I’m okay. Today is just rough as usual. Just woke up.-

-It’s nearly 2 in the afternoon. Are you sure you’re okay?-

-yeah. Just didn’t sleep well-

Korra laid back down, pulling the blanket to just under her nose. She closed her eyes tightly as tears suddenly escaped her. Bringing her hands up, she covered her face and cried quietly. She didn’t hear Asami walk in and close the door.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Asami whispered gently, laying next to her.

“Why do you put up with me?” She managed over a broken sob.

“Because I love you. Like I’ve told you before, I love all of you. Every little bit”. She started tracing random patterns over Korra’s arm. “Do you want to talk?”

“Not really. I feel awful”.

“Just sick or..?”

“No,” Korra cleared her throat before rubbing her eyes. “I just feel terrible for drinking the way I did early this morning. I shouldn’t have. I should have woken you up or something. I’m really, really sorry”.

Asami gently nudged her hands away from her face before coaxing Korra to look at her. “I know. Just.. please at least consider waking me up next time? You don’t have to fight this alone anymore”.

“I know. It’s just.. it’s hard to believe,” Korra held Asami’s hand to her cheek, “that someone like you would ever love someone like me. I guess I’m just scared that you’re gonna... leave”.

“No. Spirits, Korra, no. If I was going to, I would have by now”. Asami gently stroked her cheek with her thumb. “You’re going to have to either somehow fuck up big time or leave on your own to get rid of me. I’m yours for as long as you’ll have me. That I can promise you”.

“I don’t want you to feel trapped, Asami. You can... go if you ever have to..”

“I’m not and don’t feel trapped. I’m well aware that I have an out. I just.. I love you too much to even consider it”.

Korra sighed softly. “I really, really don’t deserve you, or this. Not after everything I’ve put you through the past year. I really don’t”.

“You deserve to be happy and feel love”. Asami kissed her softly. “I mean that. Korra, I want this, us, to last as long as possible”.

“Honestly, I do too”. Korra rolled onto her side and snuggled up close to her girlfriend. “Do I have to get up?”

“Not if you don’t want to. I want you to take this day for yourself. Do you want anything to eat? And no, I’m not on the menu”.

“No fair”. She adjusted her head to Asami’s shoulder. “Can we just.. stay like this for a little bit? And then we can order pizza and watch shitty movies”.

“Sounds like a good evening to me”. Kissing the top of her head, she wrapped an arm around Korra and gently pulled her closer.  
____________

Korra was pacing back and forth in the locker room, chewing at her lip. This was her first title fight since coming back. She wasn’t expecting to move up so quick, not after her poor first fight back in a legal ring.

“Would you hold still for a minute so I can tape your hands?”

“Kuv, I’m freaking the fuck out. This is going to be televised. There was no way I was supposed to advance this fast. I’m not ready”.

Kuvira stood from the bench, grabbing her by the shoulders. “You are ready. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t. Wanna know why you advanced so quick? Because you’re a damn amazing fighter. Breathe.”

“I’m going to get my ass handed to me”.

“If you let her, yeah. You will. Have confidence in your defense, then break her down with your offense. Keep her away from that shoulder and don’t let her get the upper hand in a grappling contest”.

Korra took a deep breath, stepping back and shaking her arms out. She held out her hands after glancing at the clock. “Wrap me”.

As Kuvira was wrapping her hands, Asami had walked in with Opal. She could tell her girlfriend was anxious by the way she kept shifting on her feet. Walking up behind her, she began to rub Korra’s shoulders.

“Relax. You’re going to do great. We came to tell you good luck”.

“We?” She sighed, leaning back into Asami’s touch.

“Opal wanted to see you before the fight too”.

Kuvira finished wrapping and gave her hands a squeeze. “Good to go, champ”.

“Ew. Don’t call me that again”. She let her hands relax to her sides, turning to see Opal. “You came?”

“Of course we came. This is huge for you. Bo’s outside the door, wanting to make sure you were decent and that it was okay for him to come in”.

“Uh.. tell him to make it quick”. Korra pulled her gloves on, then tossed her jacket around her shoulders.

Asami watched as Opal went back out the door before turning back to Korra. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Just.. It’s just nerves”. She heard the 5 minute buzzer sound and she took a deep breath.

“5 minutes, Korra”.

“Don’t need to remind me, Kuv,” Korra sighed softly, wrapping her arms around Asami.

“You’re going to do great, babe”.

“Korra, or should I say Avatar, are you ready?!”

“With you yelling in this locker room, I don’t know”. She bumped Bolin’s fist lightly. “But to answer, I think so”.

“Two minutes,” Kuvira told her, packing up her bag.

“Right. Um.. you should all go get to your seats”. She gave Asami a final hug and kiss before the three walked out.

Turning to Kuvira, she asked softly, “do you really think I can do this?”

“Of course I do. Like I said, don’t let her get to that left shoulder of yours, she can throw a nasty right jab. And if your grappling, keep your chin tucked. She’s known for choke holds”.

“Right. Okay”. She followed Kuvira out of the locker room and down the hall.

“Your gloves tight enough?”

“Yup”. Korra shook out her arms and legs while standing at the door, waiting.

“You’ll be alright. We’re all going to be in your corner”. 

Korra heard her name announced as the doors were opened. She felt Kuvira give her a gentle shove forward. “Go get ‘em”.

She made her way down her walkway, tuning out the cheers of the crowd. Keeping her gaze forward, she sized up the cage she was going to be in for at most 3 rounds. She cracked her neck and shook out her arms once again. 

_Watch the shoulder, protect the neck. Be confident in my defense, attack strong with my offense. I can do this._

Reaching her corner of the cage she gave Bumi her jacket and bumped his fist.

“You got this, kiddo. Your parents watching?”

“They most definitely are”.

“Open up”.

Korra let Bumi put her mouth guard in before stepping into the cage, the ref closing and locking the door behind her. She made sure to keep herself warm, bouncing slightly on her feet. Watching the opposite corner, she saw the other girl go through the same motions she did with her own coach. Once her end of the gate was locked, the ref called them to the center of the ring.

_I can’t even remember her name. No, don’t worry about that now. All that matters is doing my best to win._

“Alright, ladies. You know the rules. Tap out, knockout, or TKO decides the winner. Ready?” 

They both gave a nod and touched gloves before heading back to their corners. Once the bell rang, they quickly met in the center. Both of them were sizing each other up, trying to find weaknesses. The other girl took the first swing, Korra narrowly dodging the fist aimed at her head.

Bouncing back slightly, she recalculated her opponent. She was a bit taller and had more of a reach. Korra closed the gap, faking a punch and making contact with her foot to the girl's thigh.

_Alright. Let’s go._

After a few punches taken by both of them, Korra found herself backed against the cage. Not being able to do much, she protected her face before finding an opening. She locked arms with her, both starting to try to trip each other up. Korra drove her foot into the girl’s calf, an arm broken free. The other girl couldn’t get a a full swing, opting to throw punches at Korra’s ribs.

“Get off the cage!”

_No fucking shit, Kuv._

Korra was able to land a few punches to her face, receiving a couple in return. The ref noticed things weren’t going anywhere and split them apart before letting them continue. They both immediately met back up, Korra leading with another kick. She suddenly found herself in another grapple, a leg wrapped around the back of her knee.

_Well, this can’t be good._

She tried to keep her balance, breaking an arm free and landing a couple blows to the girl’s jaw. The girl tightened her leg, forcing Korra’s knee to buckle. As she hit the mat, she brought her hands up to protect her face as much as possible. A few blows made it around her arms and she was starting to taste blood. She had enough, feeling the dizziness coming on and forced her leg between them to push the girl back. 

Korra got to her feet, blinking the dizziness away and bringing her hands back up as the bell rang. She went over to her corner where Pema had been let in. Taking a seat on the bucket, Pema removed her mouth guard. 

“Spit the blood out, I need to see where it’s coming from”. She handed Korra a cup.

Korra took the cup, spitting most of the blood out before Pema rinsed her mouth.

“Inside of your bottom lip and cheek. It’s not looking too bad, dear. Are you okay otherwise?”

“Yeah. I should be okay. I was really hoping to have her done in the first round”. She rinsed her mouth a final time before Pema put the mouth guard back in.

“Bumi said it’s offense time. Watch her punches and go from underneath, take down by the waist if possible”.

Korra gave a quick, short nod before standing and Pema was led out of the cage. She could still taste some blood as the bell rang twice, indicating the second round. Korra took the charge, receiving a glancing blow to the jaw as she wrapped her arm around the girl’s neck and forcing her to bend forward. 

Bracing her free hand on the girl's back, she drove her knee up into her stomach. She felt a few weakened punches hit her shoulder as she was tripped and fell back. Still having her arm around the girl's neck, she quickly adjusted herself behind her and locked her legs around her hips while trying to secure a full choke hold.

The girl fought with her legs to push Korra back, delivering repeated hammer fists to her shin with one hand and trying to pull her legs apart with the other. Korra grunted through the pain in her shin, tightening her arm.

 _Come on, come on. Tap_ already.

She suddenly felt her legs come undone and she lost her grip, allowing the girl to turn over and straddle her hips. Not having quite the reaction time she had hoped for, she felt a hard hit to the side of her face. She tried to bring her arms up to defend, but a particularly hard hit to the other side of her head made her vision go fuzzy. Her arms fell off to the side.

_Fuck. Come on, Korra, stay awake. You’re not done._

Korra opened her eyes just as another swing came at her. She managed to weakly grab the fist and buck her hips to throw the girl off balance, landing her own punch to the side of her face. Rolling over to stand, she knew she made a mistake. She felt an arm slide around her neck as she was pulled backwards, legs tightly around her hips. With a strained grunt, she tried throwing backwards punches to the head she knew was behind her somewhere while pulling at the arm around her neck.

Her vision started to fade and her swings got weaker. Suddenly all she saw was rage filled amber eyes in her vision.

_Fucking damn it all. Not now._

Instead of fear, she felt anger. She managed to squeeze her hand between the arm and her neck, relieving some of the pressure. This surprised the woman behind her and she was able to break free, holding the arm that was around her neck. Quickly managing to spin herself around, she secured a powerful arm bar. She waited and fought to keep her hold for a few more moments until she heard a whistle blow and the bell ring. 

The ref tapped her on the shoulder and helped her to her feet before attending to the other girl. Korra stood still for a moment, catching her breath and finally listening to the crowd’s cheers. A smile came to her face after taking her mouth guard out and holding it in her teeth, allowing herself a victory lap. She knew she was likely a bloody mess, but she was too happy about her win to care. 

The ref blew his whistle again, signaling the two to come back to the center. He grabbed a wrist on each of them, finally raising Korra’s. The cheers erupted again. She touched gloves with the other girl after the ref had let go

“Nice fight, Avatar”.

“I really thought you had me a few times. Good fight”.

The two parted ways, each going to see their nurse. Korra sat on the bucket, shoulders still heaving slightly and trying to finish catching her breath. Pema handed her a cup again and she rinsed her mouth.

“You’re going to be in quite a bit of pain in the morning”. Pema looked over her face and neck. “Busted lip, cuts inside your mouth, your cheek is going to have a pretty bad bruise.. but luckily your nose isn’t broken, just bloodied”.

“I really feel like shit, Pema..”

“You also likely have a pretty bad concussion with as hard as she was hitting you”.

Pema finished cleaning up her face before allowing anyone else in the cage. 

“What the actual fuck was that?! I told you about her hits and the choke holds and you still found yourself in both”.

“I still won, didn’t I?” Korra sat still as Kuvira took her gloves off and unwrapped her hands. 

“Somehow, yeah. Yeah you did. Come on, stand up. Your girlfriend wants to see you”. 

She stood a bit slower than she had hoped, but the dizziness was really starting to set in and her head was pounding. Asami came up to her and gave her a long kiss. Korra was too exhausted to deepen it at all, but still enjoyed it being drawn out while loosely wrapping her arms around Asami’s neck.

She was suddenly made aware of where she was as cheers erupted around her again. Remembering that they hadn’t exactly been incredibly public with their relationship, she pulled back with a sheepish smile and waved to the crowd.

“You had me worried there a few times,” Asami told her quietly, holding her hand.

“I was worried myself a few times. And now anyone who was watching this on TV knows about us, including the crowd”.

“That’s perfectly fine with me”. Asami gave her a smile and a kiss on the cheek. “Confirming rumors and whatnot about the CEO of Future Industries dating The Avatar”.

“Of course there were rumors,” she laughed, rolling her eyes. “I love you”.

__________

Back in the locker room, Korra was looking at her wounds in the mirror.

“Yeah, she got ya good. Feeling alright?” Kuvira had come up behind her, patting her shoulder.

“Still kinda dazed and the adrenaline is starting to wear off. Pema was right, I’m gonna be in so much pain tomorrow”.

She tugged on a pair of sweatpants and put her jacket on before putting her bag over her shoulder, Kuvira watching silently. She could tell Korra was in her head.

“What’s on your mind?”

“What? Nothing”.

“Korra, you not only won a title match, but you’re usually much more talkative after a fight”.

“I’m just sore and tired”.

Kuvira blocked her way to the door, folding her arms. “I know that look”.

“What look? I just want to go home”.

“Alright, I’m not coming at you as your fighting partner with this. I’m coming to you as your friend”.

“Asami is ready to go home and so am I. So just drop it and move”. Korra was far too tired force her way around. All she wanted to to go home, lay down, and try to forget those last moments of the fight.

“Not to be a bitch or anything, but you look like you’re about to fall apart. It’s that look, Korra”.

She fell silent, looking away from her friend. Kuvira was third to Asami and Pema for being able to read her like an open book.

“Thought so. And coming from a former addict who knows what you’ve been through, that look is never a good sign. So what’s going on?”

“That choke hold...” Korra cleared her throat to suppress the tears. “I was almost out and all I saw and felt was.. him”.

Kuvira nodded slowly, working her jaw. She wanted nothing more than to beat his ass, but now wasn’t the time. She knew the other girl's choke holds were a signature, but she didn’t want Korra in that position after finding out everything Mako did to her. That was the main reason Kuvira told her to watch herself.

“I know it’s not much.. But you broke out of that hold and damn near broke her arm. I would say we could go get a drink or two to celebrate that win and get you out of your head, but absolutely not with that concussion”.

“How am I supposed to focus on winning when all I think of is those last moments and only having Mako in my fucking head?” 

“Listen to me, okay? It’s only been, what, a month or so since you last saw that sack of shit for an extended period of time? It’s going to take time for that to heal again. I’m gonna give it to you honest, it never goes away. That’s trauma and abuse. It’ll always be there in the back of your head”. Kuvira gave Korra a tight hug, fighting her own emotions. “The nightmares and memories probably won’t ever be completely gone, but they should ease back up with a little more time. Plus you have so many of us on your side”.

Korra returned the hug loosely. “Nice speech, Kuv. Write it yourself?”

She was met with silence as she dropped her arms, expecting the hug to end. Instead, Kuvira still had her arms tight around her.

“Um.. are you okay?” Korra tapped her friend’s shoulder gently, feeling her finally back up.

“Sorry. I’m fine. Um.. Asami’s probably waiting for you. Make sure you eat something before you go to bed and absolutely no alcohol, got it?”

“Got it. You... know a lot about this stuff. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m alright, Korra. Go home, get some rest. You deserve it after that fight”.

“Okay? Um.. call if you need to”. Korra’s voice held concern, not having seen her friend suddenly seem so upset. “But thanks. For the talk”.   
  


Korra left the locker room and when the door swung shut, Kuvira punched a locker a few times before sitting on the floor. She didn’t even realize she had started crying until she put her face in her hands. 

_If only you knew how I know all about this, Korra.  
_

-Su, can I come... home?-

-Of course you can. Is everything alright?-

Kuvira laid her head back against the locker. Staring at the ceiling she let the tears fall silently. She worked her jaw for a moment before responding.

-no. I’ll explain when I get there. I can’t be alone tonight-

-Do you want me to send the twins to come get you?-

-I’ll be okay driving-

_I think._

__________

Korra was laying on the couch with an ice pack on her cheek. “Hey, babe? You’ve known Kuv longer. Has she ever gotten really... upset?”

Asami looked up from her book, adjusting slightly under Korra’s legs. “Upset how? I’ve seen her in at least two bar brawls and winning”.

“No. Like.. she was talking me down a bit from the detective fuckface incident I told you about on the way home and.. it’s like she was close to crying or something”.

“Seriously? Kuvira of all people, crying?”

“Well.. she wasn’t when I left. I mean, she hugs her friends and shit but she didn’t let go of me for a few moments. Almost like she was clinging so I wouldn’t see her like that?” She moved the ice to her lip.

“Did you check on her?”

Korra nodded and pulled the ice from her mouth to say, “she didn’t want to talk and more or less made me leave to find you,” before returning it.

“That is odd..”

-hey, are you okay?-

-fine. Don’t want to talk about it. Korra’s worried isn’t she?-

-yeah, she is. What happened?-

-I appreciate the concern but I really don’t want to talk about it, Asami. Conversation for another day. I’m safe. I’m with Su. You two get some sleep. Goodnight-

Asami sighed and rubbed one of Korra’s legs gently. “She’s with Su and really doesn’t want to talk about anything”.

Korra nodded slowly, exhaustion suddenly hitting her at full force.

“You look like you’re about to pass out. Let’s get to bed”. She moved Korra’s legs and stood up, gently scratching Naga’s head before taking the ice pack from Korra. “C’mon. We don’t need to add any more pain because you decided to sleep on the couch”.

Korra grunted softly, getting onto her feet after a few moments. She gave Naga’s snout a scratch before slowly heading to the bedroom. Her body didn’t want to cooperate completely with going upstairs, leaving Asami to nearly catch her a couple times as her legs tried to give out. Finally making it to the bedroom, she opened the door and went right to the bed to lay down.

“Would you like to be under the blanket?”

Groaning, she pulled the top of the blanket out from under herself.“Tomorrow is going to be awful if I’m already this sore”.

“Which means you’re going to be taking it easy for the next few days”. Asami got under the blanket and covered them both up before adjusting so her head was on Korra’s chest.

“That’s a stupid rule,” Korra grumbled, wrapping an arm around her girlfriend’s shoulders.

“You know you’ll end up thanking me”. She slowly trailed her fingers down Korra’s stomach before dealing her arm over her hips. “I’m proud of you”.

“It was definitely a hard fight”. Korra closed her eyes as sleep started to take over. “I love you”.

“I love you too”. Asami’s response was met with a soft snore. She chuckled quietly, giving Korra’s collarbone a soft kiss. “And you’re still adorable when you snore like that”.

She whispered a quiet goodnight as her girlfriend’s body heat and steady heatbeat lulled her off to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuvira is going through it, Korra gets her tattoo, and ~some- smut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a TW for implied sexual assault and implied suicide attempt  
> Smut scene got a ~bit~ detailed. I have no words 😳

Kuvira shot up in bed with a strangled gasp. Looking around herself, she noted it was still dark, she was still alone, and she was still at Su’s. She wiped the sweat off of her face, trying to calm her breathing before reaching for her phone.

-new message: Korra

wanted to let you know we made it. We’re getting settled in to my parents’ place. Haven’t heard from you in like a week. Are you okay?-

Sighing she tossed her phone to the pillow. For the past week, Kuvira hadn’t answered any of her friends. Silence was easier than explaining anything. She appreciated the check-ins, but she didn’t want to lie and say she was fine. She also really, really didn’t want to talk about this. So silence it was.

Getting up, she quietly left her room. If anyone was asleep, the last thing she wanted to do was wake them. Su and Baatar had been far too kind to her. They never officially adopted her, but they still treated her as family. More parental than her actually parents, particularly her father. 

She wiped the silent tears out of her eyes as she made her way to the kitchen. She locked her eyes to a cabinet, knowing exactly what was behind the door. Swallowing hard, she opened it and grabbed a bottle of bourbon. She had just put the bottle to her lips when she heard Su clear her throat behind her.

”Kuvira”.

Lowering the bottle from her lips, she turned. “What are you doing up, Su?”

“It’s a mother’s sense. Put it back and let’s talk”.

“I.. don’t want to talk”.

“You’ve been here a week and I’ve only seen you for dinner twice. And now you’re trying to sneak alcohol before the sun is even up. What’s going on?”

Kuvira capped the bottle and put it back. “Just forget it, Su. I’ll be out this afternoon”. 

“I’m not going to just drop this. I’d feel better if you stayed. You’re not doing well”.

“No fucking shit”. She brushed by Su to go back to her room when she felt her hold her arm.

“Are we going to have to do this song and dance again?”

“Please.. just.. I want to be alone”. Kuvira was on the verge of tears and really didn’t want Su to see this side of her again. 

“That’s the last thing you need right now. I haven’t seen you like this in a long time”.

Kuvira was silent and felt Su pull her into a hug. She didn’t know exactly why, but the embrace is what broke her. The tears came hard and fast. She gripped onto Su’s shirt as painful sobs tore through her. 

Su stroked her hair gently. “Do you want to go back to your room?”

She barely nodded, still holding onto Su as if she were to let go she’d be back in a room she dreaded.

“You’re going to be okay, Kuvira. This house is safe. Both Baatar and I believe everything you’ve told us. That sorry excuse of a human is in prison and can’t get to you again. None of that was your fault”.

“H-how’d you..?” Another sob cut her words short.

“The few times I’ve seen you get like this, it’s always been related. Let’s get you back to bed, okay?”

Kuvira let Su take her back to her room and laid back down, barely covering herself with the blanket. She stared blankly at the wall as tears quietly fell from her eyes.

“When was the last time you took a shower?”

“When I first got here,” her voice came barely above a whisper.

Su sat on the edge of the bed, starting to gently stroke her hair again. “Have you talked to any of your friends?”

“No. They don’t know. I.. Can’t”.

“You should talk to them. Particularly Korra. She’s been hurt by men before. You two could help each other get through times like this”.

“Su, no. She has enough to deal with. I’m not adding my bullshit to that list”. 

“Let her help you, Kuvira. You both have been on a very similar path. What have I always told you?”

Kuvira closed her eyes with a shaky sigh. “There are people who love you. They are a part of your support system. Use it”.

“See? You even know it word for word. I’m proud of you for contacting me when you couldn’t be alone, but I’m not the only one in your support system. Talk to your friends”. Su gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. “And at least try to get a shower and join us for dinner. All I ask is you try”.

“Thanks, Su. I’ll.. try dinner tomorrow. I feel like if I eat much of anything today I’ll just puke. This is going to sound ridiculous, but can you stay? At least until I’m asleep..”

“If that’s what’s going to help you right now, I can do that”.

__________

“Korra, it’s absolutely freezing. Why did you insist on a sudden camping trip?”

Korra poked her head out of the tent, looking to her girlfriend standing uncomfortably close to the fire she had made. “Because.. I wanted time for just the two of us, without my parents down the hall. Now, if you’d actually get in here with me, you wouldn’t be nearly as cold and not about to catch yourself on fire”.

Asami pushed Korra’s head back into the tent before climbing in herself. Her jaw nearly dropped seeing all of the various furs on the floor of the tent. “What’s.. what’s all of this?”

“This, my dear, is how we camp down here. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve lived here, no one likes sleeping directly on snow and ice. Plus the fur is a great insulator, keeps body heat well. And I brought a couple extra blankets in case you get too cold. And this spot is just beautiful-“

“Korra. Shh. It’s perfect”. She pulled back the blanket, laying down. “You coming?”

Korra gave a smirk before tossing a final pillow at Asami. “Not yet”.

Rolling her eyes, she set the pillow to the side. When Korra finally settled in next to her, Asami pulled the blanket over them before lightly tracing her jaw.

“Mmmm what’s on your mind?”

“Just.. you. How you’ve been through so much and you’re still an incredible person. You’ve grown so much in the past year. And I never thought I could ever love someone the way I love you, Korra. I never thought it was possible for me to fall so absolutely in love with anyone in such a short time... and then you come along”. She rested her hand on the back of Korra’s neck. “Korra, I-“

She was silenced when Korra’s lips met hers softly. 

_Yes, Asami Sato, I will marry you._

Korra pulled her on top of herself without breaking the kiss Asami continued to deepen by the moment. She let her hands slowly run down the front of her girlfriend’s coat. Asami was the one to break the kiss, sitting up while straddling Korra’s hips. Placing her hands on the thighs of her lover, Korra sat up.

“We don’t have to,” she whispered against red lips.

“And if I want to?” Asami pushed Korra back down before undoing the buttons of her own coat and tossing it to the side.

“It’s your choice”. She watched her girlfriend’s hands as they worked to get the fur vest off, followed shortly by her shirt.

“Korra, I want you to want this too”. She slowly started working on the buttons of Korra’s coat, waiting for an answer.

“Oh, I most definitely do,” she whispered, slightly pressing her hips up.

“You know you can touch me, right?” She shot Korra a smirk. “You’re making this seem like it’s our first time”.

“Our first time was me going down on you under your desk.” Tan hands traveled up pale ribs.

“Our first real time together then, not under desks or in closets”. She let out a soft gasp when Korra unclasped her bra while sitting up. “When.. when you were so nervous”.

Asami let a moan slip as Korra trailed hot, open mouthed kisses along her collarbone as the pushed her bra off. She tangled hands in short hair as warm hands rested on her lower back. A gentle bite to a stiff nipple sent a jolt straight to her core as another, more drawn out moan ripped from her mouth.

Forcing herself to do something with her hands, she tried to make quick work of Korra’s coat with fumbling hands. She felt Korra chuckle quietly before ceasing her work on her nipple.

“You’re usually the one with steady hands”. She placed a soft kiss between Asami’s breasts.

“Kinda hard to focus when you’re doing... that,” the last word was mostly a gasp of pleasure as Korra took the other nipple into her mouth.

Asami dug her fingers into the fabric of the damned coat still on her girlfriend as she felt pressure on her lower back, bringing her hips forward. With her mind in a haze, she grabbed a handful of Korra’s hair and pulled her head back. She heard a soft gasp that suddenly cleared most of the haze. Locking eyes with her girlfriend, she was almost expecting a glint of fear. All she did see was a look of shock.

Not really sure if Korra wanted her to let go or keep holding the fist of hair, they sat with gazes locked for a few moments. She felt Korra give a slight nod and she tugged her head back by the hair again. All worry about the situation vanished as she watched Korra’s eyes roll with a low moan. To say that reaction was unexpected would have been an understatement, but the sight before her now definitely made her own legs tremble in arousal.

Letting go of her hair, Asami pushed her down gently to finish getting the coat unbuttoned. Korra pushed herself back up, tossing the coat off and making quick work of her own vest and shirt. She reached for her bindings and felt Asami stop her.

“Relax. I would like to undress you at some point out of fairness”. She pulled Korra into a deep kiss, slowly unwrapping her chest. 

Korra moaned into the kiss as skin made contact when she laid back, bringing Asami with her. She felt nimble fingers back in her hair quickly followed by a sharp yet gentle pull, sending a needy throb to her clit. A deep moan came from her lips as she let her head be pulled back into the pillows, exposing her neck to her lover. The feeling of Asami’s lips trailing up her neck and along her jaw made her hips buck up. 

“So needy already?” Asami husked next to her ear. Before she could get an answer, she bit down on the spot behind Korra’s jaw. 

She felt Korra’s fingers dig into her lower back. Knowing that spot was particularly sensitive, she gave another bite with the intention leaving a mark which earned her a whimper of pleasure. She took the raise of Korra’s hips to tug her pants down slightly. Stopping her actions, Asami rolled herself back to resting slightly on her girlfriend’s thighs. 

Korra opened her eyes with a small pout. “Why’d you stop?” Her voice was heavy with desire.

“I just wanted to look at you for a moment. You’re so beautiful in your own way, Korra”. She traced the outline of her abs, brushing over the V at her hips. 

Getting off of her girlfriend, she finished removing her pants and tossing her boots to the side. Her eyes wandered from the damp spot on Korra’s underwear to her eyes, a smirk playing at her lips.

“Baby, don’t tease tonight. I need this,” her voice came out much more pleading than she had hoped.

Asami laid next to Korra to get the rest of her clothing off before taking her hand. “I do too, sweetheart”. She placed Korra’s hand between her legs.

Letting out soft moan at the wetness around her fingers, she looked over and locked eyes with Asami. She started making slow passes with her fingers along the soaked slit of her girlfriend, hearing her breath hitch as she brushed against her clit. 

Korra got her underwear off with her free hand and quickly situated herself between Asami’s legs. She hooked her arms around her thighs and started massaging at her hip bones. 

“I love you, ‘Sami”. She began placing soft kisses up her inner thigh with an occasional nip that earned her a small, pleading whimper.

“I love you too but I swear to all that is scared if you don’t... shit.. fuck.. Korra!” Asami’s usually calculating brain short circuited as she felt a soft suck to her clit, quickly followed by two strong fingers sliding into her.

Korra gave her a moment to adjust to her fingers, slowly flicking her tongue over the swollen bud in her mouth. With a soft hum against her girlfriend, she slowly began moving her fingers. The moans and sighs coming from above her was like music to her ears and, as usual, urged her on.

Starting to draw random shapes and swirls over Asami’s stiffened clit, she quickly gave her fingers a twist. At her movement, she heard a louder moan and felt fingers dig into her scalp. Doing the same motion again made Asami’s legs twitch along with a slight hitch of breath.

Korra herself was starting to ache with need. She considered using her free hand to touch herself, but decided to continue use it to control the the roll of her girlfriend’s hips. The last thing she wanted was for her to roll her hips a little too hard and hurt herself on her teeth.

The moans and sighs above her were starting to come out ragged. She knew Asami was at the edge and with a slight smirk, she twisted her fingers again. Hearing her breathing stop, Korra drove her fingers as deep as she could with a firm hook while pulling her clit further into her mouth. She heard a strangled, pleasure filled scream come from above her as walls clamped and twitched around her fingers. Stealing a glance up from her position between her lover’s legs, she let out a deep moan at the sight.

Asami had her head pressed back into the pillows, back arched as the wave crashed over her. One hand firmly tangled in Korra’s hair, the other digging into the fur under her. Her skin was flushed as her chest heaved through the aftershocks. Slowly able to control her breathing, she felt Korra slowly remove her fingers to lap the wetness slowly dripping out of her.

“Holy.. fuck,” she was still out of breath, feeling Korra slowly kiss her way up her stomach and chest.

“We kinda did, babe”.

“Kinda?” Asami let out a soft laugh, flipping Korra over. “I’m not finished with you just yet”.

“Don’t.. don’t you want to.. rest for a second?” Her words came out strangled between soft gasps as her lover trailed love bites down her neck.

“We can both rest when I’m done”. Grabbing Korra by the hips, she flipped her onto her stomach. “You were right, I’m not cold anymore,” her breath was hot next to her her.

Korra gave a slight shudder of need, feeling Asami’s breasts on her back. She started to move her hips against the furs under her in search of any friction she could get. The warmth of her girlfriend suddenly left her back and before she could get out a complaint, she felt hands raise her hips until she was face down on her knees. 

She let out a groan of protest at the minimal contact she was currently receiving. “‘Sami.. stop teasing me like this”.

“Then hold still”. Asami was slowly teasing her opening with a finger. She could tell Korra was fighting to not throw her hips back to sink the finger inside.

She let out a gasp of surprise and pleasure as Asami suddenly grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her head back. Feeling her grip loosen, she let out a whimper.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

“Y-yes. Just-“ A deep moan ripped through her lips as she felt a sharp tug pull her head back again. 

Asami watched as a string of arousal came from Korra’s opening and started to drip off her hardened clit before diving two fingers in to the knuckle. She could tell her girlfriend was already so close to the edge by the way she rolled her hips to get her fingers to rub against the spot that drives her crazy. Never releasing her grip on the short hair, she nudged Korra’s legs a little wider with her knees before starting a slow pump of her fingers. 

Korra jerked her hips when Asami’s thumb started rubbing at her clit. Suddenly she felt a sharp tug at her hair again that sent a shudder of pleasure through her body. Asami watched Korra’s back muscles tense as she curled her fingers and quickened the pace. She smiled at the string of curse words falling from her girlfriend’s lips, occasionally breathing her name.

Giving her fingers a few more deep thrusts, she watched with a smile as Korra came undone with a shaky and loud moan bordering on a scream of pleasure. She slowed her fingers, helping her love ride out wave after wave until her legs trembled from holding a part of her own weight. Easing her fingers out, she lowered Korra’s hips to the pile of furs. She watched her ribs expand and contract with each heavy breath, humming softly as she licked her fingers clean.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” Asami laid next to her, pulling the blanket over them before brushing the hair out of Korra’s face. 

Korra managed a sleepy nod and a whispered, “more than”. She slowly adjusted herself to her side, blue eyes filled with afterglow and a smile to Asami.

“Good”. It was barely more than a whisper before lips met in a slow and gentle kiss.

“Good thing we did... that before I got my tattoo. Would have been much less fun if it got rubbed or anything”. Her breathing has mostly returned to normal as she pulled Asami close.

“When is that?”

“Mmmm tomorrow. Are you cold?” Korra kissed the tip of Asami’s nose.

“Not at all”. She draped an arm over Korra’s waist.

______________

Kuvira looked at herself in the mirror the next evening. She barely managed a shower, but at least she got her hair washed. Up until this moment, she didn’t realize how exhausted and almost sick she looked. With a sigh she tossed her hair over her shoulder, deciding a braid wasn’t worth the energy. She quietly made her way out of her room and to the dining room before sitting at the table, trying to not meet eyes with anyone.

“I’m glad you could join us”.

_Baatar._

“You’re looking pretty rough today”.

 _Wing or Wei._  
  
“Would you leave her alone? She doesn’t need that right now”.

_Baatar Junior. Wait. What? I thought he had moved out._

She raised her gaze to the first friend she made the very first time Su took her in.

“Junior? I thought you moved out”. Kuvira’s voice was quiet, almost weak.

“I did. Mom invited me for dinner. I haven’t heard from you in a while”.

Kuvira shifted her gaze back down to the plate of food in front of her, not sure why that comment hurt as bad as it did. “I’m sorry,” she barely whispered, fighting the tears that were threatening to pool in her eyes.

“I.. didn’t mean it like that, Kuv”. 

“Okay”. A one word answer was the better choice to keep the tears at bay. She wasn’t hungry at all, but she promised Su she would try. Not bothering to look, she could feel Su’s concerned gaze on her as she slowly started to eat.

She listened to the small talk going on around her, not contributing much other than a few agreements or directing questions about her away. After forcing herself to finish her dinner, she excused herself quietly. The last thing she wanted to do was talk. She wanted to be alone.

After making it halfway to her room, she felt a strong hand on her shoulder. “The real reason I said yes to mom was to see you again”.

“I’ve missed you too, Junior. This is just.. not a good time”. The tears were threatening again.

“I can see that. That’s.. why I’m here, Kuv. I know how bad you can get when you’re like this”.

She fell silent, knowing he was right. He’d broken down her door before after she had made a comment that she was done with everything and locked herself in her room. She brought a hand to her mouth as a sob shook her shoulders at the memory. Another when she remembered he was the one who saved her life on another occasion. 

Baatar Jr. waited quietly. He didn’t want to force her into any physical contact she didn’t want. Slowly Kuvira turned to face him, burying her face into his shoulder and she let the tears fall. He wrapped his arms around her gently, lightly rubbing her back. She let herself be comforted by his arms and warmth, gripping his shirt trying to get her breathing under control.

”Would you like to lay down?” His voice was gentle and calm, like he had always been with her.

She nodded into his shoulder as another painful sob shook her body. Feeling his arms tighten slightly before letting go, she let him lead her to her room. 

Kuvira laid down heavily, pulling a pillow into her arms. The sobs had stopped, but tears would occasionally spill from her eyes. She closed her eyes when Baatar Jr. pulled the blanket over her.

“I’m going to tell mom you went back to bed. Try to get some sleep, Kuv. You look like you haven’t slept in days”.

Clearing her throat, she managed to whisper, “I really haven’t”.

“I’m sorry. I really wish there was something I could do to help. Sleep well”. He felt Kuvira grab his hand as he turned to leave.

“Don’t.. Junior, don’t go”.

He turned back to face his old friend. “Are you sure?”

“Please. I’m not..” she choked on a broken sob, not believing what she was going to admit. “I’m not safe”.

“Okay”. He nodded before laying down on top of the blankets next to her, gently putting his arm under her head. “Is.. this too much?”

“No,” she whispered through tears. She hated how broken she was in this moment. She hated that he cared. She hated that she didn’t just let him leave the room. She hated that something about this situation made her feel safe. And she absolutely hated that she rolled over to face him and pulled his other arm around her waist.

_What. The. Fuck. What am I doing?_

He didn’t ask questions and he didn’t move. If that’s where Kuvira wanted his arm, it was going to stay just like that until she didn’t want it anymore. Baatar Jr. wasn’t exactly comfortable, but he didn’t want to risk moving too much or accidentally close the space between their bodies and scaring her. It was a big enough deal she wanted him, a man, in the bed with her. 

And for the first night in over a week, Kuvira slept through the night.

__________

Korra stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself. With a soft, bracing sigh she walked out of the tub room. Looking at the mostly empty room she stepped foot in, her heart rate picked up slightly. 

_Why am I so nervous about this?_

She slowly made her way to the pile of fur in the center of the room, pulling the towel tighter. Hearing a knock come from one of the other doors caused her to jump slightly. She looked in the direction of the sound to see Senna walking towards her.

“Hi, sweetie. Are you okay?”

“I think I’m okay, mom. Just.. nervous. Do I really have to be completely naked for this? Dad’s gonna be here and all.

“You’ll be laying on your stomach and the towel will cover your backside, Korra”.

“Right.. it’s still a bit weird for me..” her attention shifted to the source of another knock, seeing the four elders enter the room.

She swallowed hard when they stopped in front of her. 

“Daughter of Chief Tonraq, are you prepared?”

Looking to her smiling mother she replied, “I am”. With a steadying breath she handed her towel to her mom before looking anywhere but to any of the five people in the room. She felt the elders start painting intricate designs of swirls and lines over her body. As they finished, leaving the lower half of her back unpainted, she felt surprisingly calm.

“When you’re situated, we’ll bring in your father and Miss Sato”.

Korra gave a nod before laying on her stomach on the pile of furs. She took another deep breath as Senna draped the towel over her ass. Letting her eyes follow the patterns of dark paint on her arm, a small smile came to her face as she closed her eyes. She had been marked as a member of the tribe and once all of this was done, she would officially be a chief.

Her eyes opened when she felt Tonraq’s hand on her lower back. “Korra, I am so proud of you. For all of the things you’ve been through, you’ve grown into an amazing young woman. I firmly believe you are ready to lead this tribe as much as I do. I’m.. proud to call you my daughter. Are you ready?”

She swallowed back the tears from Tonraq’s heartfelt words. “Yes, dad, I am”.

He sat himself down at her side, taking one of her hands in both of his after nodding for the head elder to begin. Feeling Korra’s hand twitch in his as the needle first hit her skin, he looked into her eyes with a smile.

“I love you, dad”.

Asami felt Senna wrap her arm around her waist as they watched from the side of the room.

“I’m so proud of her, Senna. I really am. She’s come so far in the time I’ve known her”.

“I’m proud of her too. But I’m also so happy she has you”. She looked at Asami. “I haven’t seen her this genuinely happy since she was about 14. I’m sure she’s told you about her first girlfriend. Well, that’s kinda where she was never fully happy. I’ve only seen her break twice. The first when that girl broke her heart, the other shortly after the incident. I’m sorry. I’m starting to ramble on. There’s just not enough words to say how happy I am for the two of you”.

Asami wiped a rogue tear off her cheek. “Thank you, Senna. Honestly. You and Tonraq have raised an incredibly strong and amazing woman. I’ve.. never felt true love like this. I gave in to the notion that having a real love wasn’t for me. That.. it would takes many years of dating the same person for me to even start to fall in love. Korra.. she’s so different. I fell hard and fast and she was there to catch me and...” she suddenly choked on sudden tears. “And she let me truly feel loved”. 

“Asami. Honey.” Tonraq’s voice caught her attention as she wiped her eyes. “Come on over”.

The two women joined Tonraq, also sitting next to Korra. Senna took her other hand and Asami let her rest her head on her leg.

“You’re almost done, kiddo”. 

Asami felt Korra give a small nod as she looked at the nearly finished tattoo. Her eyes followed the swirls and waves of her girlfriend’s tribe’s crest now permanently in her skin in a navy ink. She felt another tear run down her cheek and quickly wiped it away before running her fingers through Korra’s hair. 

“It’s done,” the head elder said calmly, standing. “Daughter of Tonraq, I now officially proclaim you Chief Korra of the Southern Tribe”.

The four elders put their fists over their herts with a slight bow of their heads. Asami noticed Tonraq stand with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face as he did the same motion. Senna slowly stood and followed suit. She felt tears slip taking in the display around her. 

“Thank you,” Korra’s tearful voice was barely a whisper.

Korra waited until the elders and her father had left the room before slowly getting to her feet. She took the robe Senna handed her, putting it on before wrapping her mom in a tight hug.

“I am so proud of you, Korra. Your father and I will see the two of you at home after you get cleaned up, okay?”

“I love you, mom”. She gave Senna a kiss on the cheek before taking Asami’s hand and going back to the tub room.

As soon as the door closed, Asami pulled Korra into a deep kiss. Both had tears of happiness slowly running down their cheeks. Breaking the kiss, Asami pulled her into a hug, holding her head to her shoulder.

“I know you’ve heard it a million times today, but I’m so proud of you too. You’re sober, you’re actually happy, you’ve.. oh, Korra.. you’re just so amazing. I want to spend my life with you”.

Korra smiled against her shoulder. “Me too. As long as you’ll have me, ‘Sami”.

Asami’s brain finally caught up to her mouth, a deep blush forming in her cheeks.

“What? I’m serious. As long as you’ll have me, I’m yours”. Korra slid her robe off and stepped into the tub with a slight hiss as the water hit the fresh tattoo.

Asami was sure Korra had caught that half-assed proposal. It wasn’t enough for either of them to consider it official, but she still had a fluttering in her stomach. 

_She still didn’t freak out or say no. That’s a good sign right?_

Clearing her throat she managed to spit out, “it’s beautiful”.

Korra paused in washing the paint off of herself and glanced to Asami over her shoulder. “The tattoo, my ass, or what?”

“Well when you put it like that, everything about you is beautiful. But I was originally talking about the tattoo”.

“Are you going to call my dad’s beautiful too?” Korra laughed, returning to washing the body paint off.

“I sure will. Your crest.. it’s simple but beautiful”.

Korra got out of the tub, grabbing a fresh towel. “Well, yours is pretty badass”.

“What? The half gear? Korra, that’s the company-“

“Anyone sees it and immediately thinks ‘Sato’. So yeah, it’s kinda your crest”. She pulled on her sweats and shirt before getting her coat on. 

_And I’m gonna mix both of ours together.. somehow._

”Are you ready to head back?” 

“Your mom did say something about making a big dinner for you,” Asami said with a smile.

“You do enjoy eating whatever my parents make,” Korra shot her a shit eating lopsided grin before trotting away to go outside.

“Korra!” Asami ran after her.

“Oh. Um.. just so you know, my dad and I are going on a short day trip in two days,” a faint blush rose to her cheeks, knowing what the trip was for.

“A chief thing?”

“Uh.. sure. Something like that”.

_I really hope you like what I have in mind. I’m going to do this. Soon._


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuvira doesn’t do feelings, so what on earth is happening?  
> Korra thought getting a stone would be much harder than this. She also didn’t think she’d have a run-in with someone she would end up having to tell her girlfriend about.  
> To Asami, Korra herself is more important than anger. Anger fades when she sees a look in her girlfriend’s eyes she hasn’t seen directed at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit of a rollercoaster of things. The end was a ~bit~ painful to write, but it turns out kinda okay.

Slowly waking up, she was made aware of a warmth next to her. Not only was the source of that warmth next to her, it was under her head with a steady thump from within.

 _This isn’t happening. This isn’t real. It’s just a another nightmare, right? The start is always good, but it’ll always end very bad. It’s not real. I’m safe. Right?_

Kuvira squeezed her eyes closed tighter, trying to will the body next to her away. As wakefulness continued to creep up, she could feel a steady and slow rise and fall under one of her hands.

_Oh. Fuck. No. This isn’t a nightmare. This is real. Shit._

She dared an eye open and sure enough, she noticed the body of someone else. Someone familiar. He wasn’t under the blanket with her, which she took as a good sign. They were both still clothed, another good sign. The previous evening slowly came into focus, which only confused her more.

_At what point did... this happen? When did I let this happen?_

Opening her other eye, she sat up. A mix of confusion and horror on her face as she saw Baatar Jr. still asleep. She didn’t like the feeling she had in the pit of her stomach so she shoved the side of his face.

“Wake up, Junior”.

“Kuv?” His voice was heavy with sleep. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?” He adjusted his glasses back on his face after rubbing his eyes.

“Get out”. Blinking the rest of the sleep away, her face came into focus. He could see sudden fear in her eyes.

Quickly getting off the bed, he put distance between them. “I’m so sorry. What did I do?”

“Just.. Get out”.

“Okay. I’ll.. check on you later”. He left her room quickly, making sure the door closed quietly.

Kuvira pulled her knees to her chest, trying to figure out how to get her breathing to calm down. She still hated that he cared. Hated that he was such a good friend. Hated that he both listened to and ignored what she wanted, depending on what it was. She hated that he made her feel safe. 

“Come back,” she whispered to an empty room. She realized she also hated that she made him leave. Most of all, she hated herself for trying to find any reason to hate him. Sure, she cared about others and wanted them happy and realize their worth in this messed up world. But the one thing Kuvira didn’t do was love. She didn’t know if that’s what she truly felt for her friend, but the idea terrified her.  
________

Asami woke to the feeling of a calloused finger lazily drawing imaginary shapes and swirls over her shoulder blade. She didn’t want Korra to know she was awake so she kept her eyes closed and breathing as level as possible. Her main concern was that her girlfriend was awake before her. It usually meant there was a nightmare of some sort involved, but her movements didn’t indicate that. Korra’s movements seemed random, few pauses in between shapes and wavy lines.

Suddenly there was a pause. Then sudden straight lines. She tried to picture what Korra was drawing on her back now that the movements were clearly intentional. The drawing suddenly stopped before she could completely figure it out and there was a soft kiss to the back of her head.

“It’ll be perfect,” Korra whispered at her invisible drawing, still unaware Asami was mostly awake.

“What will be?” Asami flipped to her other side, eyes meeting the beautiful blues next to her.

“D-did I wake you? I’m sorry”.

“No. I was just starting to wake up on my own. What’s going to be perfect?” She noticed a tint of pink settling in Korra’s cheeks.

“Um. Uh.. it’s a surprise?”

“Does this surprise have anything to do with you little field trip later?”

”What? No. That’s.. chief stuff my dad wanted to show me”.

_I hate lying to her like this. I’m gonna have to bust ass to get the necklace done before the Lights this year. I just hope she says yes.._

“Okay. I’m sure whatever it is, I won’t be disappointed,” Asami said with a slight smile before placing a soft kiss to Korra’s forehead. “You should probably get up and get around before your dad comes knocking.”

Korra sat up with a slight grunt of pain. She tossed a tube of ointment onto the bed next to Asami’s hand.

“Please.. it’s really bothering me this morning”. She pulled her tank top off and waited.

Sitting up, Asami put some of the ointment onto her hand. “You know, I’ll never understand how you can sleep in a tank top and then just take it off like it’s not cold”.

“When you grow up here, you develop some weird permanent immunity to being cold all the time or something”. She winced slightly when Asami started applying the ointment to the tattoo. 

She was silent as she tenderly traced the inked lines on Korra’s back before spreading the ointment over the surrounding skin. It was simple, yet beautiful. The navy blue was perfect for her skin tone. Once she was finished, she gave Korra’s shoulder a soft kiss.

“Feel better?”

“Much,” Korra breathed before standing. “I’m gonna have to head out a little early, dad needs me to grab a few things”.

_I need to grab a few things. Leather strap, a ring, a clasp.._

Asami watched as Korra got dressed for the day. “You’re leaving me with your parents?” 

“Just mom. Dad’s coming into town with me and then we’re going on our field trip”.

“Be safe, okay?”

“I will, babe. I love you”. She gave Asami a quick parting kiss before leaving her room.

_________

Tonraq parked the snowmobile and cut the engine. 

“How’s your back feeling?”

“It’s alright, hurt a bit this morning”.

“Take it from someone who’s been through it, don’t sleep with a shirt on”. Tonraq chuckled. “Not that Asami would mind”.

Korra have him a playful shove. “Still not going to talk about that with you”.

“No? Then why’d you ask about that camping spot? Cause I recall it being so you two could-“

“No. Nope. Nothing more about this, dad. I brought it up once. That’s all you get about it”.

He folded his arms, somewhat jokingly. “I have the right to know that she’s making you feel good”.

Korra’s face went red before stammering, “Um.. y-yeah.. she.. she really d-does. Now, please drop it and go get your things while I go get mine”.

The two parted ways, going to separate shops. Korra was walking to a leather and fur shop not too far from where they had parked. Suddenly she felt someone grab her arm and pull her into a building. She spun with a fist ready, blue eyes meeting a steely grey before letting her hand fall back down to her side.

_Fuck my life._

She felt herself pressed back against the door, wincing from the pain of the tattoo as lips captured hers in a deep kiss. She grabbed the other woman by the shoulders and pushed her back.

“What the fuck?”

“I’ve missed you. You normally come by a few times when you’re here for the Lights, but you never came by last year”.

“We.. we can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry. I got sober and-“

Another needy kiss silenced Korra for a moment before pushing her back again.

“Is it because you’re a chief now? If so, no one has to know what we do, Korra”. She slowly undid the top few buttons of Korra’s coat before her wrists were grabbed.

“I’m being serious. We can’t do this anymore. I’m.. I’m going to propose to my girlfriend”.

“Seriously? Are you being serious this time or are you just saying that? Last time you said that to me, we were newly 18. Come to find out you were single and the rest is history”.

“I’m being completely serious. It’s why I never came over last year”.

“I can wait it out like I did when you were with that guy”.

Korra made the mistake of letting go of the wrists at her chest. “Listen, I’m not your fuck bud-“ she stopped breathing for a moment as she felt lips at the spot behind her jaw.

“Then don’t be”.

The warm breath on her ear made her shudder. This woman knew most of Korra’s favorite spots and was using them as an unfair advantage.

“Y-you said it was no stings attached”.

“It... was”.

_This is bad. Get. Out. Now._

Korra felt a hand suddenly on her thigh. Pushing her old friend back with a little more force, she could almost feel anger rising. Almost. She didn’t want to actually hurt her, just get her to stop her advances.

“Enough! I don’t fucking cheat, you know this. The whole fuck buddy thing is done. I’m being dead serious”.

“Korra..”

“No. My answer is no”. She opened the door, but before leaving admitted, “I really did enjoy our.. encounters. It was fun while it lasted”. She let the door close behind her.

_What the fuck just happened...?  
_

Maybe she was a little mad. She kicked a chunk of ice down the sidewalk, hands stuffed in her coat pockets. In her state of getting angrier the more she thought about her so called friend ambushing her the way she did, she didn’t notice the guy who stopped in front of her. She slammed into his back.

“Chief! I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were behind me”.

_Of course. It just had to be her brother._

Her tattoo was burning from being pressed against a door. She was mad at his sister. She was starting to get tired of the salutes and congratulations from the citizens. 

_When are they just going to treat me like dad and not give me some salute every time they see me? I’m just... me._

“Just look around before you come to a dead stop next time,” it was more of a snap than she had wanted. Her mood wasn’t directly his fault.

“Are... you okay?”

_Ah. There it is._

“I’m fine. It’s just been a kinda rough morning”. She brushed by him, continuing to the shop.

She quickly picked up the items she would need; a dark blue strip of leather, a couple fasteners, and a ring of metal. Setting the items on the clerk’s counter, she pulled out some money.

“For Miss Sato?”

“Um.. uh. Yeah”. She didn’t care for small talk with strangers.

“For what it’s worth, chief, you two are an amazing couple”. She put the items and a small bag and gave it to Korra. “Good luck”.

“Th-thanks”. She quickly left, tucking the bag in her coat, and made her way back to the snowmobile.

Sitting down to wait for Tonraq, she rested her head on the handlebars. She could feel a headache coming on. A certain type of headache she was sometimes a little afraid of. She may have been sober for months, but that didn’t mean the occasional urges have gone away. Usually it would be when she got angry, had a nightmare, or had some sort of flashback of her traumas.

Hearing crunching snow and ice coming towards her, she looked up.

“Korra, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, dad. Ready to go?” She scooted herself back on the seat so he had room to drive.

Tonraq gave his daughter a knowing look. “What happened and did you sneak off to buy anything.. extra?”

“No.. but a part of me wants to. Dad.. there was this girl I would go see when I was high and here for the lights. She uh.. kinda pulled me into a building and kissed me?”

“Korra-“

“Nothing like that happened! I told her I was seeing someone. She still.. tried but I told her no and left. Do.. do I tell Asami?” She trusted her dad with her secrets after she confessed she had been on drugs. “What if she thinks I wanted that to happen? And..” she couldn’t finish her thought as tears started forming.

Tonraq took a deep breath. He knew she needed his help. “Korra.. it would be the right thing to do. If she were to find out on her own, it would be much worse. And knowing how you are, you’d let it eat at you. She may be.. upset. But I don’t think she’d leave you over something you didn’t want to have happen. Tough conversations happen in relationships and it doesn’t get easier when you’re married. Your mother and I have both been upset and mad at each other many times before”.

“And you’re still married..” Korra wiped the tears out of her eyes. 

“Yes. And we’re still married”. He got onto the snowmobile in front of Korra. “Ready to go?” He asked before turning the engine on.

She wrapped her arms around his torso, giving a nod against his back.

_He’s right. Asami has always been understanding. She’s probably going to be really, really upset. Ugh.. fuck. My. Life._

__________

Kuvira picked up her phone and rolled onto her back. She still hadn’t gotten out of bed except to go to the bathroom once. The dark numbness was beginning to set in again, and all she could hear was Su in the back of her mind saying to talk to her friends. At least she was going to make some sort of attempt to try.

-Glad you two are having fun down there. I’m still staying with Su-

-It’s good to see that you’re actually alive-

_Unfortunately._

-sorry I haven’t responded to you guys. I haven’t been okay-

-We know. I don’t want to pry it out of you but if you need to talk you can always get ahold of one of us at the very least-

-I don’t really want to talk about it. But I’m going to need to. Su told me to at least try. When are you two coming back? This has to be in person-

-In a few days. Are you going to be okay until then?-

_I don’t know_

-I’ll be fine-

She set her phone down before rolling onto her side. Her face was expressionless as she stared at the door. Even though she was looking right at it, the soft knock from the other side still made her jump. She watched as the handle slowly turned.

“Kuvira?”

“Hi, Su. I’m still breathing”. Watching as she closed the door, she felt a knot forming in her chest.

“I’m glad, but that’s not why I’m here”.

“Then why?”

“Will you be joining us for dinner again?”

Kuvira closed her eyes. “I’m.. not hungry”.

“Then please join us in the den. We can all watch a movie or two”.

“Su, I appreciate what you’re trying to do but.. I just want to be alone”. 

Su let out a soft sigh before going to sit on the edge of the bed. “I know. How about.. you go take a walk around the back of the estate? It’ll be good for you”.

“Then will you please leave me alone?”

“Take a walk and drink a couple glasses of water. Then I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the night”.

“Deal,” Kuvira barely whispered. If this is how she would get left alone, she might as well take it.

________

“Dad! It’s beautiful!” Korra had jumped off the snowmobile before it had come to a complete stop, staring into the mouth of the cave he had brought her to.

Cutting the engine and joining his daughter, he rested a hand on her shoulder. “This is where I went to get your mother’s. Go on”. He handed her a pickax and torch.

“What? You’re not coming?”

“No. You don’t need my approval on the chunk of stone you pick. You’ll know when you see it”.

“O-okay”. She took the pickax and torch from her father and started into the cave. 

Korra let her eyes wander the walls of the cave in wonder. She didn’t know a place with stone an icy blue existed. Trailing her hand along the wall, she remembered always thinking finding the stone in a betrothal necklace was so much more difficult than finding a cave. She could see the faint tool marks left by men, maybe even other women, that had come before her. 

Her eyes continued scanning the sides of the cave. She almost continued to walk in deeper, but a glint caught her eye. Feeling her pulse quicken, she swallowed hard.

_Found it._

She wedged the torch between two boulders on the cave floor and removed her gloves. Taking the pickax and walking up to the wall, she let her fingers trace over the stone patch that had a slight glint. A smile came to her face thinking about the design she was to carve into it. Two crests coming together as one, just as their two lives would come together.

Wiping a stray tear of happiness away, she started to work on getting a chunk of the stone she knew was perfect. As she worked, all she could think of was her girlfriend. All of the times she was happy, sad, angry. The calm and collected CEO. The brilliant engineer. The one who was much stronger than she looked. The one who broke through her walls and stole her heart before she even knew it. She loved every part of Asami. The calm, the frustrated, the caring, the sad, the happy. She loved every little thing.

Korra didn’t realize she had started crying until a piece of stone had fallen into her hand. She wiped her eyes with a smile after closing her hand around the stone.

_I’m actually going to marry her._

_________

Kuvira felt so weak. A walk shouldn’t have been so exhausting she gave up after five minutes and sat down in the grass hugging her legs. She was unaware that Baatar Jr. had joined her until he spoke, slightly startling her.

“Are you okay, Kuv?”

“I’m fi- No.. I’m not”. She didn’t want to lie to him anymore. For some reason, he felt like a safe place. He wouldn’t run his mouth. He respected her boundaries unless her safety was at risk. She trusted him. And she wanted to hate that.

“May I sit with you?”

_Stop being so.. kind to me. I don’t deserve it. Just give me a reason to hate you.. please.._

“Yeah. That’s okay”. 

He sat a couple feet away in front of her. “Do you want to talk about anything?”

“Not really. I just.. a walk shouldn’t have exhausted me like this after five minutes”.

“You body doesn’t have the energy. I can tell you haven’t eaten much of anything lately. Don’t take this wrong, but you look sick, Kuv”. His eyes held genuine concern about his friend’s health. 

“Hey! I ate dinner yesterday”.

“Yes. You did. And that’s definitely a good thing. How about.. you try snacking through the day instead of waiting for a whole meal? It could help trigger your appetite”.

“Stop being so damn smart, Junior. I don’t know though..” Kuvira crossed her legs and started picking at the grass. “I’m not even hungry now. I haven’t been hungry all day”.

“I know mom’s been a little.. pushy with getting you to eat. But it’s for your health”. He furrowed his brows at her silence. “Okay. Can you keep a secret?”

“Do you even know me? Of course I can”.

“I’ll bring you a glass of wine after dinner”.

_What?_

“Excuse me?” Her gaze snapped up to meet his.

“I think it would help take the edge off of everything. Maybe even get you to smile just a little bit. It’s up to you”. 

“I’ll... think about it”. Kuvira let herself lay back in the grass, watching the clouds pass over.

_Why can’t I just hate him?_

__________

“Welcome back, sweetheart. Did you have fun?” Asami closed the book she had been reading.

Korra closed her bedroom door behind her. “Uh.. yeah. Sorry we got back so late. I got to see some places deeper in the tundra I didn’t even know existed. I guess sometimes there are small battles that take place between the smaller villages out there”.

“Anything less.. war related?” She really didn’t like that little thing about her girlfriend’s title, not after last time.

“Mmmm we stopped by a few beautiful glacial caves. I’ll have to take you out there sometime. You’d love it”.

“Well, get your coat off and come lay down with me. I missed you today”.

All of a sudden the stone in her coat pocket weighed a thousand pounds as her stomach twisted. She knew what she had to do. Shifting on her feet slightly, she put her hands in her coat pockets.

“Korra? What’s wrong?” Asami moved to get out of bed when she was stopped by four words that were almost always never good.

“We need to talk”. Korra’s voice was quiet, almost hurt sounding. She clutched onto the stone in her pocket.

“O-okay?”

“So.. when I would come down for the Lights I would always get a bunch of drugs, like the aftermath you saw when we came down last year. Well.. I kinda had this fuck buddy, an old friend of mine”. She was trying to not meet Asami’s gaze. She’d have been lying if she said she wasn’t terrified to finish this conversation.

“Korra, that was then. But what are you trying to say?” Asami wasn’t sure where this was going. She was preparing herself for words she never wanted to hear.

“When we were out shopping.. she pulled me into a building and kissed me. And tried for more”. Korra was squeezing the stone so tight she was sure it had cut her hand. She wasn’t ready for a fight. She wasn’t ready for Asami to leave. Biting down on her lip, she fought tears.

“And?” The single word cut the silence that had formed. There wasn’t any strong emotion behind it. It was only a prompt for Korra to continue.

“N-nothing happened. I.. I told her no and left. I didn’t want any of that to happen. I-I don’t cheat, Asami”.

Asami had gotten up from the bed, quietly walking over to Korra. “Sweetheart, look at me”.

Korra didn’t move any more than taking her hands out of her pockets. She kept her head down in hopes to hide the tears running down her face. She was scared. Scared of the anger she was certain her girlfriend had in her eyes. Scared that this was it. 

“Korra.. please, look at me”. Asami gently grabbed her shoulder with one hand, slowly raising her head by the chin with the other. The look in Korra’s eyes broke her heart, pushing the anger she only had for the woman her girlfriend mentioned to the back of her mind for the moment.

She had seen Korra broken and hurt before, but the look in her eyes now was nothing but fear. And this time, it was directed at her. Asami forced her movements to be slow, she could almost see what Korra had going through her mind. Dropping her hand slowly from her shoulder, she gently touched her girlfriend's hand. 

“I’m not going to hurt you, Korra. I’m not mad at you”. She kept her voice quieter than normal. “I’m glad you told me. I am upset and mad that it happened, but it’s all directed at her. It doesn’t matter that you had history, she had no right to do that”. 

Korra fought a flinch as Asami moved her other hand away from her face. She still didn’t move or say anything. The last thing she wanted was to make this worse. She almost instinctively braced herself against the door, just waiting for it. It was a move Asami didn’t let slip by her. And it absolutely shattered her heart. She knew it wasn’t her fault Korra was reacting this way, but it still hurt to have to see her go through this.

“Sweetheart.. I’m right here,” Asami whispered, opening her arms for Korra. “C’mere”.

She managed a weak nod, quietly letting Asami know it was okay to touch her. Feeling her girlfriend pull her away from the door and into a tight embrace, she let the first of many broken sobs pass her lips.   
  


“I’m.. so sorry,” Korra managed between sobs and trying to remember how to breathe.

Asami tightened her arms around Korra slightly, holding the back of her head with one hand as she continued crying into the crook of her neck. She looked up to the ceiling for a moment, trying to swallow back her own tears before giving a kiss to the side of her girlfriend’s head. 

“I’m right here,” her whisper was more watery than she wanted it to be. She started to gently rub Korra’s back, just above the tattoo. “Shhhh. I got you. You’re safe now”.

All Asami wanted in this moment was to put their mutual ex in the hospital. The damage he had done to the woman in her arms was unforgivable. He made her so scared, so much worse than if she was only dealing with the trauma of nearly being murdered. So scared that Korra was actually scared of her for a moment.

“Do you want to try to get some sleep? It’s getting a little late. We can talk more tomorrow if you want”.

Korra gave a small nod with a sniffle, slowly pulling back from Asami. “You’re.. not mad at me?”

“Of course not. I know you don’t cheat, Korra. I’m definitely mad at her, though”.

After getting her coat off, Korra wiped at her face before taking her boots off. She looked at Asami with a weak smile.

_At least she knows I’d never do that._

Taking Asami’s hand gently, she led them both to the bed and laid down. She remembered her dad saying to sleep without a shirt so the tattoo wouldn’t be so irritated in the morning, but she was too tired to care about that tonight. Korra felt Asami lay behind her and pull the blanket over them both. Closing her eyes, she felt a gentle kiss to the back of her shoulder before an arm rested over her waist.

Asami let Korra take her hand and pull it up to her chest, moving herself impossibly closer. She could feel that Korra’s heart was still beating faster than normal. Tightening her arm around her girlfriend, she heard a slight sigh. She knew it was going to be a long night. Knew that Korra wasn’t going to sleep well. Knew that tonight there would be nightmares to calm. 

“I love you,” she whispered softly. “I’m right here”. 

The anger she wanted to dish out to those who deserved it could wait. The hurting woman in her arms couldn’t. Asami could deal with sleepless nights if it meant Korra was at least safe. She was worth every sleepless night, every late night talk, everything.

Asami let her eyes close, knowing she wasn’t going to be falling asleep to the soft, quiet snoring of her girlfriend this time. She knew she wasn’t going to be in a deep sleep tonight.

“I’m not going anywhere”. She knew Korra was likely already in the early stages of sleep, but still felt the need to remind her. Moments later, she allowed herself to fall into a light sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I also want to sincerely thank all of you for reading this hot mess of a story. Thank you to those who are sticking around for this wild ride. Thank you for actually enjoying this. I will never not be shocked people actually like this, considering it’s mostly a lot of word vomit. You’re all amazing. There is so much of myself in this. Addiction (mainly alcohol), mental health issues, abuse.. what I have been through isn’t 100% spelled out in this, and none of my direct experiences had been with men. Keep in mind things could get pretty rough at times, especially with what Kuvira is dealing with currently.
> 
> I don’t know how long this is going to go on, but it could easily be a while. I have so many ideas and plans for this. So many good things to come too! 
> 
> You’re all seriously so great. I really can’t thank you enough. 🥺🙏🏻


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra finally breaks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this one taking so long. I literally deleted the whole chapter at least twice just because what I had written I started to hate about 4 paragraphs in 🙃
> 
> And then this happened and I am SORRY.
> 
> Big time angst down below. 
> 
> ‼️🚨 MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE ATTEMPT🚨‼️

Korra was staring at her formalwear she had laid out on her bed. She knew she had to take it back with her. She knew she would have meetings with government officials. Being a Southern Tribe chief living in the city was huge. It just didn’t happen that way. This was going to be a new situation for both the city and the tribe.

“You’ve been staring at that for the past five minutes, sweetheart. You’re going to be fine”. Asami wrapped her arms around Korra from behind.

“I know. It’s just.. I don’t think there’s ever been dual chiefs, let alone one living in the city. I know dad has everything under control here and we’re going to still work together on things. It’s the meetings back home. Not only am I a high profile fighter, I’m officially a chief now”.

“Hmmm meetings aren’t so terrible. It can be a lot of watching everyone else argue with each other”. She pulled Korra closer. “You just have to watch your temper, okay?”.

She laid her head back against Asami’s shoulder, closing her eyes. “At least from what I’ve heard, it’ll mostly be trade deals I have to deal with”.

They stood like that for a few moments, Korra eventually resting her hands over Asami’s. Her girlfriend always seemed to know how to make her feel at least little better. Opening her eyes, she let her eyes fall on her coat, a smile coming to her face.

“In case you forgot, your mom made us lunch”.

“I know. I’m just enjoying this”. She turned in her girlfriend’s arms, giving her a kiss as she put her arms around her neck.

While Korra thoroughly enjoyed the deep, passionate kisses that almost always led to sex, she also loved the moments like this. The soft, gentle kisses that made it feel like they were the only two in the world. Nothing else mattered except each other. Not Asami’s company, not Korra’s fighting career, not her new position as a chief, not her nightmares or Asami’s sleepless nights. Everything was perfect in these moments.

“Come on, let’s go get some food, sweetheart,” Asami whispered against Korra’s lips after a few more soft and lingering kisses.

“Mmmm fine”. She placed another quick peck to her lips.

“I’m not going to sit here and let you starve”. Asami poked Korra’s stomach playfully. “Your stomach is starting to growl”.

Korra groaned in fake annoyance, taking her girlfriend’s hand and leading them down to the kitchen. She had forgotten her parents had both gone into town and they had the house all to themselves for at least a little bit. Before making herself a plate, she turned the radio for some background music and sat at the table. Watching Asami finish making her own plate before joining her at the table, a smile made its way to her face.

“What?”

“Nothin’. Just really, really love you is all”.

They had almost finished their food over small talk when Korra snapped her head towards the radio. It was a song she knew and stood up quickly. She got behind Asami and pulled her away from the table by the chair.

“Korra! What-“ Before she could ask what her girlfriend was doing, Korra had picked her up and went into the kitchen. Gently setting her on her feet, she turned the music up and pulled her close.

“I thought you didn’t dance”. Asami rested a hand on Korra’s shoulder.

“I don’t,” she said with a wink before putting a hand on Asami’s waist and taking the other in her hand.

Korra led them in a slow dance around the kitchen, so focused on each other neither had heard her parents return. 

Tonraq was going to say something until Senna had grabbed him by the arm, shaking her head. She didn’t want to disturb the moment. The way they looked at each other in this moment, so full of love and adoration, made her tear up in happiness.

As the song came to an end, Tonraq began clapping, accidentally startling the two.

“That was beautiful, you two”. Korra spun to face her parents, cheeks pink.

“H-how long have you been standing there?”

“Oh, probably the last minute or so. We didn’t want to interrupt”. Senna’s voice was slightly watery.

“For someone who supposedly doesn’t dance, that was very well done,” Asami whispered against Korra’s ear, causing the pink in her cheeks to deepen.

“Well, since it’s your last day here, how about the four of us settle in for a movie or two?”

“Sounds great,” Asami answered Tonraq with a smile, all but dragging a still stunned Korra to the den.

___________

Korra was staring out the window, jaw tense. Asami was sound asleep. They had finished packing and decided to go to bed early after the mini movie marathon Tonraq decided to have. She had caught wind of a party that was going on a few blocks away through an unknown number. Sighing, she was in a battle of caving in and going or trying to find the sleep that didn’t seem to be coming any time soon. As she laid there for a few more moments, her hand was starting to tremble.

_Fuck. Don’t do it, Korra. You’ve fought this before. But I could just have a drink and leave.. you know that won’t happen. Mom and dad have alcohol here. But some of my childhood friends are there. It’d be nice to see them again._

“Babe? Hey. Um.. I hate to wake you..” she gently nudged Asami.

“Sweetheart? You okay?” Her voice was heavy with sleep.

“Uh.. kinda. I.. there’s this party I found out about.. and.. I kinda want to go?” An evil part of her hoped Asami was still mostly asleep.

“What?” She sat up slowly, taking Korra’s shaking hand.

“Some unknown number texted me the address a little bit ago.. I was considering slipping out but..” her voice trailed off.

“But... you woke me up to stop you?” Asami noticed Korra’s jaw was tense.

Korra gave a stiff nod, desperately trying to choke back the breakdown she felt looming. She hated times like this. The times where the cravings came for no reason. She had a great day with Asami and her parents. Nothing terrible happened. The movies her dad picked were cheesy and easy to laugh at. She danced around the kitchen with her girlfriend. And then the thought she kept trying to fight hit her.

_I don’t deserve this happiness._

Asami gave Korra’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Sweetheart? Did you have a nightmare?”

Korra shook her head, still not trusting her voice. Asami knew she was in her head. She also didn’t want to pry too much, knowing that could very easily make her girlfriend shut in on herself more.

Opting to stay quiet for a moment, she gently ran her thumb along Korra’s knuckles. “I’m.. glad you woke me up instead of going. That’s pretty big for you,” she said quietly, barely breaking the silence.

“I.. don’t deserve you, ‘Sami. Or to actually be happy. I really don’t. Not after everything I’ve done”. Korra’s voice was almost weak.

“Korra.. that’s not true.” Asami laid back down, bringing her girlfriend down mostly on top of herself. She helped Korra adjust so her head was resting on her chest. “After everything you’ve been through, you deserve to be happy, be loved, be healthy. I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again and as many times as you need me to... I love all of you, broken bits and all”.

Korra stayed quiet. She could feel the tears right at the edge and she didn’t want them to spill over. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath.

“Do you want to talk about anything?”

A shake of the head on her chest.

“Okay.. do you want to try to sleep?” A slight nod.

Asami wrapped her arms a little tighter around her. Feeling Korra cuddle a little closer, she gave the top of her head a soft kiss. “I love you”.

“I love you too”. Korra’s response was barely a whisper.

_______________

Kuvira woke face down on the couch, a glass bottle barely in her fingers hanging off the side. She groaned as she let the bottle fall from her hand and rolled onto her side. That simple move made her aware she was naked from the waist up. Her eyes shot open as she sat up a little too fast, clutching the blanket to her chest.

_What the fuck happened last night? And this doesn’t look like my room. Fuck._

Looking around the room quickly, she noticed the three other empty wine bottles on the coffee table. After figuring out the source of her pounding headache, she scanned the room again trying to figure out why she was half naked. She was just about to get up when the door opened and Baatar Jr. walked in.

“I figured you’d want some wa-“ he stopped mid sentence and slapped his free hand over his eyes once he saw Kuvira clutching the blanket to her chest. “I swear I didn’t see anything!”

“What the fuck are you doing in here without knocking?! And close the door!”

He quickly turned and nearly slammed the door closed.

“You’re the one who came to my room, so I didn’t think I’d have to knock”.

_Oh no. No, no, no._

“What happened last night? Tell me the truth. Where did all of this wine come from and why the fuck am I half naked?” 

“You brought the wine with you. As for you.. not having a shirt on, I have no idea. You came knocking in the middle of the night, so of course I let you in. You were kind of a mess, honestly. Eventually you passed out on the couch”.

“Doesn’t explain where my shirt went! Did.. did we..?”

“No! I would never, Kuv. And even if we ever did, I’d make sure you were completely sober. Uh.. hold on”.

Making sure to keep his eyes shielded, he went off to the bathroom to grab his robe for her.

“Would you like your shirt or a robe? You apparently took it off in here”.

“Uh.. the robe is fine”.

_You’re taking his robe over your own damn shirt? What the hell?!_

Baatar Jr. brought the robe to her, eyes closed as he handed both the robe and glass of water to her. He quickly put his head back over his eyes when her heard Kuvira stand and set the glass on the table.

“You can look now,” she whispered as she sat back down, draping the blanket over her shoulders.

He dropped his hand, looking at his friend. “Aside from being hungover, how are you?”

“I don’t really know”. Her voice was quiet, almost distant. Kuvira didn’t get scared so there was no way she could tell him she was, given how she woke up. She couldn’t tell him how much she hated herself, that would just make him care more and she couldn’t have that. And there was absolutely no way she could tell him that she felt safe around him, that would mean she was feeling something and there was no way she was going to let that happen.

“Well, if you need any-“

“Sit,” it was almost panicked as she thought he was going to leave the room. That wasn’t supposed to happen. “S-sit with me for a bit? I’m... I fucked up last night and now I want more. I don’t want to be alone when I’m.. craving”.

“Sure. Do you want to talk about it?” He sat a couple feet away from her on the couch, respecting her space.

Falling silent again, she couldn’t voice what she was actually craving. It wasn’t drugs, it wasn’t exactly getting blackout drunk again. She would never admit it, but it had something to do with him. 

“Um... well.. n-not really. I just slipped up last night and I just don’t want to keep spiraling is all. And I trust you enough to not let me”.

“Fair enough”. He stood and, much to Kuvira’s relief, didn’t see her slightly panicked expression.

“Where are you going?”

_What are you doing? You have to stop acting like this. What is wrong with me?_

“Just getting a book. Would you like one?” Baatar Jr. had grabbed a book from his bookshelf and waited for a moment before grabbing another when she nodded quietly.

Once he sat back down, Kuvira took the book from him and opened it. She definitely wasn’t reading. She was just staring at the page, stuck in her head and desperately trying to not steal any glances at the only man that made her feel safe. There was no way this could be happening.

_______________

Korra groaned softly, rolling over. She had slept most of the day after they had gotten back to the city and her head was pounding. Asami wasn’t it bed so it couldn’t have been that late. Naga was curled up by her feet sleeping. Everything seemed normal except for the headache and the odd silence. Usually there was something going on. The staff, which Korra was still getting used to, would be going around and making sure everything was in order. She figured Asami must have sent them home already now that they were back and wanted at least some alone time.

_If the staff is gone, and it’s not terribly late... where’s- probably the workshop. Of course._

Getting out of bed, she gave Naga a belly rub before heading to the stairs. The voices of Opal and Bolin confused her slightly. Taking the stairs slowly, she heard Asami’s voice join in the conversation. The peculiar thing being the voices were much quieter than any other time they had been over. Korra got to the bottom and followed the voices to the living room and stopped, blood running cold. 

She didn’t hear Asami ask if she was feeling any better, Bolin and Opal’s greeting. All she saw was an amber eyed man stand and do his stupid salute.

“Kor- Chief... Chief Korra”. 

“What. The. Fuck?!” She shot Asami a look of hurt and confusion.

“Korra, sweetheart, he’s here on police business. For... you”.

“And you didn’t think to just come and wake me up?!”

“You weren’t-“

“I don’t care if I was face down in the fucking toilet! So what if I wasn’t feeling well, Asami! Sure, let’s just invite the fucking piece of shit in and wait until I wake up. That’s just fucking fantastic”.

“Can.. we take a breather for one sec-“.

“I swear to everything you fucking care about, Bolin, if you don’t keep your fucking mouth shut”. 

“Chief, if I may...” Mako tried to diffuse the situation calmly.

“No. You absolutely cannot”. Her tone had gone dark and dry. She was furious and hurt.

“My aunt would like to have a private meeting with you, Korra”.

“Whatever. This is fucking unbelievable. Seriously, Asami?! For someone who doesn’t want him around, you sure invited him in with open arms”. 

“It was just until you woke up. Please, babe, take a breath and-“

“And what?! Calm down? How long has he even been here?” 

“Maybe 5 minutes,” Bolin said quietly. 

“Cool. Real fucking cool”. She started working her jaw. This wasn’t going to end well regardless of the options.

“I don’t want him here either, Korra”. Asami stood slowly and started walking up to her girlfriend. “So.. he’ll be leaving now and we can-“

“No. I’m not going to just settle down for the night after this. For all I care, he can fucking stay”. She had gone numb, completely emotionless.

Asami reached for her hand. “I don’t want him here, Korra. Opal told you why he’s here so now he can go”. 

Korra backed away with a dry laugh. “Don't. Don’t touch me”. 

“Sweetheart...” Asami pulled her hand back, tears in her eyes.

Korra turned and headed towards the door. She couldn’t be here. She also shouldn’t be leaving, knowing exactly what was going to happen. At this point, she really didn’t care. She felt... nothing. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Literally anywhere but here, Asami”. She turned the doorknob. 

Asami felt Opal grab her hand, telling her to tell the truth. “I didn’t invite him in, okay?!” 

Korra stopped and looked over her shoulder. “What?” 

“I didn’t invite him in. I was in the kitchen getting drinks for Bo and Opal and..”

“And what?” She spat back.

“I messed up, Korra. I should have fessed up before.. this. I let him in. I’m sorry”. 

“Seriously, Bo?! And here I thought we were friends. Fuck you. And Asami? You had five whole minutes to kick him out”. Korra finally shoved the door open.

“Would you at least tell me where you’re going? Just in case..”

“Anywhere but here”. She slammed the door closed behind her and started her way to the street.

“Korra! Wait! Don’t take this out on Asami, okay? It was all my fault. I invited him in. She wanted to kick him out but heard you close the bedroom door. So we waited, okay?”

”And yet none of you thought to make him wait on the porch. I can’t do this right now, Bo. Go back inside. Leave me alone”.

“Kor-“

“Now”. She turned and shoved him in the direction of the mansion before continuing on her path. Pulling out her phone, she noticed a tear drop fall onto the screen. She knew she shouldn’t be doing this.

-what’s the location?-

-really? After that title fight, you’re throwing it all away?-

-might as well. The road I’m about to go down will prevent me from pretty much everything-

-alright, I may be a dealer and run the underground rings, but I still care enough to tell you to not do this to yourself-

-fuck off. If you don’t text me the address in the next hour, I’ll find someone else-

-Korra, you know I’m the one who never laces any of my shit-

-I know. And that’s how much I don’t care anymore. One hour, Tahno.-

She pocketed her phone and dipped into the bar she had come up on. Her old stomping grounds. Eyes fell to her as she made her way to the bar and sat down on some shoddy stool. 

“Well, haven’t seen your face here in quite a while. The usual?”

“Yeah”. She started working her jaw as the bartender went and grabbed a full bottle of whiskey off the top shelf. He set the bottle down in front of her and took the cap off.

“That bad again?”

“You could say that,” she scoffed, grabbing the bottle and taking a drink. “I would like to be left alone though. So keep the bottles coming”.

“Sure thing, kiddo”. Korra never caught the concern in his voice. She pulled her phone out again, noticing Tahno had sent her an address and time coincidentally close to the bar. And a missed call from Asami. And a text.

-please, Korra, can we talk? I promise you I didn’t want him here either. I was in the process of getting him out when you closed the bedroom door. Please.. come home-

Choking back a sob with another drink, she turned her phone off. Her heart hurt. She loved Asami with everything she had, and still did. Finishing the first bottle, another full one took its place as she stared blankly ahead. Before she knew it, the second bottle was already half gone. She turned her phone back on to check the time and decided she still had enough time before she was to meet Tahno. 

-sweetheart, please.. just answer me so I at least know you’re not dead or in the hospital or something-

-I love you. Always have and always will-

-where are you?-

-doesn’t matter. You’ve always deserved better than me-

-are you seriously breaking up with me over text?-

-I could never break up with you. Period. I want to marry you, Asami. You just deserve so much better than me. So much better than someone who breaks apart over something so stupid. So much better than some broken waste of space-

Korra grabbed the third bottle that was given to her before standing. “I’m taking this with me”. 

“Only because it’s you and you know the rules”.

“I know. I didn’t get it from here”. She tossed some cash on the bar. “Bye”. 

She walked out and started down the street when her phone rang. 

“Hey ‘Sami”. She knew her voice was hallow and at least a little slurred.

“Where the fuck are you? I don’t fucking care if you’re shitfaced or whatever. Just.. where are you, sweetheart?” She could tell Asami was sobbing on the other end of the call. It just made her feel worse. 

_This is all my fault. It’s always my fault. There’s no reason for her or anyone to love me when all I ever do is fuck up and hurt everyone..._

“Just left the bar on 12th”. 

“Please.. just stay where you are. I’ll come get you”.

“No. You’re not in any shape to drive. I don’t need you getting into an accident and getting hurt or worse”.

_I do that to you enough. It’ll stop happening tonight... I love you. Don’t ever forget that._

“Korra.. please. I’ll send Opal”.

Korra wiped the tears out of her eyes, swallowing down the lump in her throat. She saw Tahno and handed him cash, taking whatever he had decided to give her before waving and continuing her walk. 

“Opal needs to be with you. You’re in no position to be alone”.

She quickly shot a text to Tonraq. 

-just wanted to say I love you and mom. A whole lot-

“And you are?! You’re obviously drunk and.. and.. damn it, Korra. You’re not doing okay at all. I’m sorry about the Mako situation, I really, truly am. Come home.. please.. let me help you”. 

“I love you, Asami. If you want.. you can check my coat pockets and ask my dad about the items. I’m so sorry. I really, really love you”.

“Korra, what-“

She ended the call and sat on the edge of a dock. Letting the tears fall freely, she opened the bottle of whiskey and took a long drink. Asami had tried to call her back but she ignored it, a sob tearing through her as she watched her name pop up and then disappear into a missed call notification. 

-Kuv. Take care of Asami for me. She’s going to need her friends. Tell her it’s okay for her to find love again, I won’t be upset wherever I may end up. She deserves the world-

-what the fuck?! Korra. You better fucking call me. Now-

-nope. You’re a great friend, Kuv. Seriously. I know you have some shit going on too but through all of that you did everything you could to try to keep me sober. I’m so tired of hurting everyone. I’m just so tired-

-where the actual fuck are you? Spirits, Korra. Don’t you dare-

-Asami doesn’t need to see this-

-I won’t tell her, okay?! Just.. I’m coming to get your ass-

-the pier. Dock 5. You have about 15 minutes until I’m gone. For good-

Korra took out the bag Tahno had given her, filling the syringe. She took a deep breath, staring at the needle. 

_I guess this is it.. mom, dad, take care of Asami. You’re all she’s gonna have left in terms of a family. Mrs. Sato, it’ll be a pleasure to actually meet you in the stars. I’m sorry I couldn’t be better for your daughter._

“I’m so sorry, Asami,” she whispered as she stuck a vein and pushed the plunger. “I’ve always loved you”. 

After tossing the syringe to the side, she grabbed the bottle and took a few more long drinks. Her eyes slowly traveled up to the sky as she waited, gazing at the stars. Deciding this was taking too long now, she pulled out her pocket knife and dug the blade deep and a few inches vertical into her forearm before dropping it. 

She hugged her knees to her chest and more tears she didn’t know she had fell. Korra got herself to her feet after finishing the bottle and staggered backwards slightly. She could feel herself getting closer to unconsciousness and made her decision, diving into the water. Just before she went under, she heard a voice yell her name. 

Kuvira kicked her shoes off and tossed her shirt to the side mid sprint before diving in after her friend. It was dark and the water was murky so she was mainly going off of feel. Her hand made contact with Korra’s torso and she grabbed her shirt, pulling her close before swimming back to the surface. 

“Junior! Grab my shirt!” She managed to call out while catching her breath and swimming with Korra in her arm back to shore.

Once to the shore, she dragged Korra out of the water and knelt down next to her. “Fuck, Korra! What happened?!” She slapped her face. “Come on.. wake up”. 

Baatar Jr. tossed Kuvira’s shirt to her before kneeling on the other side of Korra, checking for a pulse. “She’s alive. But barely”. 

“Fuck!” She quickly wrapped her shirt around Korra’s arm. “Come on, Korra. Don’t do this. Junior, please tell me you’re wearing a belt. Please...”

“Yeah. Got it”. He quickly removed his belt and used it as a tourniquet. “Hospital?”

“I didn’t want to. But it’s honestly the only way she’s gonna have a shot at making it. You drive, I’ll stay in the back with her”. Kuvira picked her up and started quickly walking back to Baatar Jr.’s car.

“You set?”

“Just fucking go!” She dug her knuckles into Korra’s sternum as he quickly started driving to the nearest hospital. “Please... Korra, more a finger. Anything. You can’t die like this. Asami needs you”.

Kuvira grabbed Korra’s arm and raised it to try to slow the bleeding. With her other hand, she wiped a tear that had escaped her. She knew her friend has attempted before, but never thought she’d try again after being sober for as long as she had been, adopting Naga, having Asami. 

_What happened? Why, Korra? Please just hold on._

“We’re here.” 

Kuvira quickly got out of the car, her friend in her arms. She made sure Korra’s wounded arm was around her neck in hopes to keep the bleeding slowed before rushing into the emergency room. Two nurses took Korra from her arms and rushed her away. 

She felt a hand on her shoulder. “You really are an amazing friend, Kuv. Would.. would you like a shirt?” 

“No, Junior, not right now. I don’t care about anything but her surviving this. I.. need to call Asami”.

“Of course. Kuv?”

She stopped heading towards the door to go outside. “What?” 

He handed her a few cigarettes and a lighter. “You.. kinda earned these. And you’re gonna need them. I know you said to get rid of them for you.. but.. I’ll allow it this time”. 

“Thank you,” she sighed before taking them and heading out the door, calling Asami. While she waited for an answer, she sat on a bench and lit a cigarette.

“Hello? Kuv?” 

“Hey, hun. Are you okay to drive?”

“No.. but I have Opal here with me. Is it.. are you calling about Korra?”

Kuvira sighed out a breath of smoke. “Yeah.. I am. You need to get to the hospital near the pier. It’s.. not good. I’m so sorry”. She was trying to keep the tears out of her voice to comfort her other friend. 

“What happened?” She could hear Asami’s voice crack shortly after telling Opal they needed to go.

“Do you want me to tell you over the phone or wait until you’re here?”

“Now. Please, Kuv. I need to know what I’m going to be walking into”.

“I don’t know everything, but she.. tried to kill herself.. cut her arm open pretty bad. Baatar Jr. and I left as soon as she texted me where I’d find her. I got to her as fast as I could. She’s critical. I’m so fucking sorry, Asami”. Kuvira could hear broken sobs coming from her friend.

“I know this is not the best time, but what happened? Why would she go off and do this? You guys just got back”. 

“I-I don’t know. Mako came by to tell her Chief Beifong wanted to meet with her. Bolin let him inside and I was... I was working on getting him out when she woke up. She.. she thought I had willingly invited him in. We fought. Opal can tell you. I should have chased her down and stopped her from leaving...” Asami’s voice trailed off and more sobs came through the phone.

“It’s not your fault. Believe me, it’s not. I’ll.. see you soon”. Kuvira hung up, finally letting her own emotions out after lighting another cigarette. 

“Can I.. sit or give you a hug?” 

“Please, Junior.. please,” she cried quietly, crawling into his lap after he sat beside her. He was a little nervous to put his hands on her bare skin, but she asked for comfort. Wrapping his arms around Kuvira, he pulled her close as she dug one hand into his shirt, the other surprisingly careful to not let her cigarette burn him. He gently stroked her hair as she cried into the side of his neck, noticing Asami and Opal walking up.

“Opal. Asami. I’m sorry we’re having to meet up under these circumstances”. 

Opal raised her eyebrow at the situation in front of her, but didn’t press further as now wasn’t the time. “You’re smoking again, Kuv? If mom-“

“Su won’t find out,” she sniffed softly, getting herself off of Baatar Jr.’s lap and wiping her eyes. “And it’s just for right now”.

Asami crouched down in tears. Kuvira had Korra’s blood on her. She also hadn’t seen Kuvira cry before, so it must be very bad. 

“Are any of you family? We can’t share information unless you are”. None of them had noticed a nurse join them.

“I’m her wife,” Asami managed to choke out on a whim. 

“Come with me, hun”. The nurse helped her to her feet and led her inside to a conference room, both sitting at the table. “Your wife is out of surgery, but is still critical. We ended up pumping her stomach to get some of the alcohol from being absorbed. We also had to administer narcan. Were you aware of the drug use?”

Asami nodded. “She... she was completely sober for months”. 

“Overdoses are common for previous users who think their bodies can still handle the last known amount they were using. Alcohol can be seen the same. If she was sober for months, then drinking as much as she used to could easily lead to alcohol poisoning due to loss of tolerance. Were you aware of any mental health issues?” 

“Of course”. Asami wiped her eyes. “She.. she has attempted in the past. Before we got together, she was younger”.

“If there was a previous attempt, or attempts, an individual can be more likely for future attempts. Is she safe at home?” 

“Yes. She’s even been more... forthcoming when I ask if she’s okay”. Asami put her face in her hands. “I wish I could have seen this coming and stopped her”.

“That’s a completely normal reaction to have towards something like this. I can set you up with a counselor if you’d like”. 

“No.. not right now”. Pulling her hands away from her face, she looked at the nurse. “Can I see her?” 

“Of course. Keep in mind she is still critical. We have her in a medically induced coma, so she’s on a ventilator”. They both stood and the nurse placed a hand on her shoulder. “Keep friends like yours close. Had they been much later, this would have been a completely different conversation”.

The nurse led Asami to Korra’s room, letting her have a few moments alone. Looking over her girlfriend’s body, tears started running down her cheeks. Korra was pale compared to her normal tan skin tone, she looked incredibly sick. Her arm was heavily bandaged. Asami gently brushed the hair off her forehead before giving it a kiss. 

“Korra, sweetheart.. I’m so, so sorry. I should have chased you down, made you come back inside. I messed this up...” she choked on a sob. “Please, baby, please come back to me. I want to marry you too”. 

Asami took her hand gently, kissing her knuckles before sitting in the chair next to the bed. “I love you”. She scooted the chair close enough to the side of the bed to rest her head against Korra’s shoulder. “I’m going to fight like hell to keep you”. 

She didn’t realize she had dozed off, exhaustion of the day finally catching up to her, until she felt Opal gently wake her up. 

“We need to get going, hun”. 

“Right.. okay”. She stood, giving Korra’s hand a final gentle squeeze and another soft kiss to her forehead. “I love you, Korra”.

Opal rested her hand on Asami’s back as they left the hospital and started towards the car. “Do you want me to stay the night with you?”  
“”

”Could you?” Her voice came out exhausted and distant. She didn’t want to be alone, not after this day.

“Absolutely. I’d prefer it. Especially since Bo is now in your shitlist”. Opal got into the driver’s seat while Asami got into the passenger side.

The ride back was in silence, save for a few sniffles coming from Opal’s passenger. The walk to the front door, as well as to Asami’s bedroom, was also in silence.

Wrapping her friend in a hug, Opal spoke softly, “if you need me, I’ll be in the guest room next door”. 

“Please don’t.. stay in here with me”. Asami pulled out of the hug and made her way to the bed before taking her shoes off and laying down.

“If that’s what you need...” Opal followed suit, laying on her side to rub her friend’s back gently. “Everything will be okay. It’ll take some time, but she’ll come around. The love she has for you.. you can just see it in her eyes and the way she looks at you. I’m sorry about Bo. Just know I’ll always choose you over him. You’re my best friend, Asami”. 

“I just hope this all works out, Opal. I can’t truly imagine my life without her in it”.

“I know. She’ll come around for you”.

Asami finally fell into a restless sleep a few minutes later. She was completely unprepared for the nightmares that would haunt her that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so so so sorry. This hurt to write, just know that. I promise it won’t stay super angsty do too terribly long 🥺


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuvira starts to face the fact she might have feelings.
> 
> Korra wakes up over a week later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor trigger warning for:  
> -implied sexual assault/rape  
> -suicide attempt mentions  
> -some suicidal thoughts

Asami had made the decision to go to Su’s after Kuvira had offered to stay with her so Opal could return to work and take care of Naga. She didn’t want to stay home any longer without Korra there. It had been too quiet and lonely, even if Opal had stayed with her for the first three days. The mansion simply felt empty. 

Kuvira looked at her friend next to her in bed, still curled up with a pillow in her arms in a restless sleep. Even with all of the things Mako had said to her when they were together, she had never seen Asami so broken. It had been the same thing day in and day out for the past four days she had been staying at Su’s. 

Asami would barely wake up, cry silently while Kuvira rubbed her back, fall back to sleep for about another hour, and force herself to eat. Sometimes she wouldn’t be able to keep any food down. She barely spoke to anyone through the day and mostly stayed in bed or curled up on the couch with a random book. If she was feeling up to it, Kuvira would take her to the hospital to visit Korra. And repeat. 

Kuvira could remember the small smile that came to the corners of Asami’s lips when the doctors told her they were going to try to start waking Korra up. And then she could remember how much worse her friend had gotten when the doctors told her they couldn’t as her body ended up still being too weak when they tried. That’s when Asami truly barely ate or did anything other than try to sleep the days away. Before that news, she had at least tried to keep things mostly normal. 

Asami’s phone suddenly rang, startling Kuvira slightly. She watched as her friend blindly grabbed it and answered, almost dryly.

“Hello?”

Pause.

“Yes..” Asami was trying to keep her voice level. “If you believe that will work this time”.

Pause.

“Okay. Thank you,” she whispered before ending the call. Setting her phone down, she’s pulled the blanket back over her shoulder.

“The hospital?” Kuvira asked quietly.

Barely a nod in response.

“Any changes?”

“They want to try again, Kuv. They said they’re going to try waking her up over a few days instead of a few hours. Give her body time to adjust or something like that”.

Kuvira rested her hand on her friend’s shoulder, not exactly pleased with the complete lack of any happiness in her voice. “I know it’s been a week or so. Asami, she came so close. Her body wasn’t ready a few days ago, after everything she did... blood loss, drugs, alcohol, and inhaling at least some water.. her body needs time to adjust”.

“Right..” her voice was quiet as tears silently fell from her eyes.

Kuvira got out of the bed when she heard a knock on the door and cracked it. 

“How is she?”

“Still not doing great, Opal. The doctors want to try waking Korra up again. This time it’ll be over a few days instead of over a few hours”.

“Not even a hint of happiness from her?”

“Nothing at all”.

Opal gave a soft sigh. “Do you think she’ll be okay for a few minutes? I kinda wanted to talk to you”.

“Uh. Yeah”. She turned slightly towards Asami who hadn’t moved. “I’ll be back in a few minutes”.

Closing the door softly behind her, she felt Opal grab her wrist and drag her down the hall before stopping and pushing her into the wall. 

“What is going on between you and my brother? I’ve been trying to ignore it since... Korra, but it’s been bugging me”.

“What? N-nothing is going on between Junior and me. You know we’re good friends. Out of all of you, he was the first who made an effort to actually try to help me and be my friend. That’s all it is”. Not only was she trying to convince Opal they were just friends, she was trying to convince herself of it. Kuvira didn’t do feelings like this anymore. She couldn’t.

“You and I both know how much you hate men touching you ever since.. well.. anyhow, you were sitting in his lap in only a bra and pants, which were soaked if you remember. Just friends? Kuv, come on. I’m not mad that you like him, it’s actually kinda... nice”.

“I don’t like him like that! I was upset. He’s.. the only man I trust. He asks for permission every single time he wants to sit with me or give me a hug or anything. And if he doesn’t ask, he waits until I’m the one to make contact first. Opal, nothing is going on between us”. She just had to say how much she trusted him out loud. And it wasn’t supposed to happen. She didn’t do feelings and yet she made the first step in acknowledging something.

“Right. You? Trusting a man? Kuv, you like him. It’s okay”.

“No. No I don’t”. She was suddenly feeling warmer.

_Am I fucking blushing?! What. The. Fuck. This is so not happening. He’s just a friend. Who I care about. That’s all it is._

“Whatever you say, Kuv. I’m gonna go sit with Asami for a bit. You look like you need some water”. Opal shot her a wink and a smirk before heading back to Kuvira’s room to take a turn comforting Asami.

 _I definitely need a drink._  
_____________

Opal sat on the edge of the bed next to Asami, gently wiping a tear off her cheek. 

“Do you want to go see her?”

“I do. I just don’t have the energy to go. Even if they start trying to wake her up, nothing will change. She won’t be responsive at all for a day or so. If at all..” she choked on a sob. The longer this went on, the quicker she lost hope. When Korra’s body struggled last time, it was a huge blow to her high hopes with everything. She was preparing for the worst.

Opal knew where her friend’s train of thought was going and rubbed her arm gently. “She’s going to make it, okay? Her body was simply too weak last time. Oh! I brought you something”.

Asami clutched the pillow in her arms tighter as she felt her friend get up.

“Keep your eyes closed and sit up,” Opal's voice came a few moments later.

“Opal, please-“

“Just trust me, okay? I know you better than you know yourself sometimes”.

“Fine,” Asami sighed. She slowly sat herself up, keeping her eyes closed. A second later she felt a familiar weight on her shoulders and she opened her eyes, tears spilling over. 

“I.. thought it would help you sleep a little bit better”.

She pulled Korra’s robe tighter around herself. “Opal.. thank you,” she managed around her tears.   
__________

Kuvira jumped awake at an arm being wrapped around her waist from behind. It took her a few moments to realize the sun was just starting to come up and the arm around her waist was that of Asami. She blinked a few times, not wanting to move and wake her sleeping friend up. It was the first night she had actually slept nearly through the night since Korra’s attempt, only waking up in tears once. But the cuddling was definitely new.

She decided to just lay there, staring at the wall. It wasn’t like she hadn’t been in a woman’s arms before, she just wasn’t expecting this from a friend who was hurting so deeply. It wasn’t the kind of cuddle for comfort. It was gentle and sweet. It was full of love. And that’s when it hit Kuvira.

_She thinks I’m Korra. Fuck. What do I do? But she’s actually sleeping. I can’t just wake her up. At least the robe helped. And I’m not bringing this up unless she does._

Kuvira let her eyes close with a calming breath. Asami needed the sleep. She wasn’t going to move or get up; it wasn’t worth waking her friend up. Sleep came back to her faster than she thought and let herself fall back to sleep.

Asami woke a couple hours later, gently pulling the body in her arms closer. She groaned softly, something not feeling exactly right. 

_Definitely strong and muscular. But.. slightly softer? Not as defined? Oh, shit. This isn’t Korra._

She quickly pulled her arm back and sat up, rubbing her eyes before looking at Kuvira who had let out a grunt at the sudden movement.

“You okay? Nightmare?” Kuvira rubbed the sleep out of her eyes before rolling over to face her friend.

“N-no. I’m okay I think. I just thought...” she retied the robe she was wearing, fingers lingering in the fur of the belt.

“It’s okay, Asami. Really. You slept nearly through the night. You needed it. But now that we’re both awake, would you like some coffee and something to eat?”

“I’ll.. try it,” she whispered before standing slowly and adjusting the robe slightly.

“That’s all I ask. Just try”. Kuvira got up and led her to the kitchen.

Asami leaned against the counter as her friend started making coffee. “Could we go see her today?”

“What kind of question is that? All you have to do is say you want to see her and I’ll take you”.

“I don’t want to interrupt any plans you might have”.

“I’m still on a leave of absence from fighting and especially the club still. I have no plans aside from dealing with this situation and my own bullshit”. 

“Speaking of which.. don’t think I forgot you wanted to talk about something”.

“Uhhhh, yeah. That’s waiting until this whole Korra thing is figured out”. She poured them both a cup of coffee and got some creamer out of the fridge. “Long story short, because I know you’ll keep asking, something bad happened several years ago, it led to my drug use and Su eventually taking me in. It’s also why I have issues with being touched sometimes, especially by men”.

“Kuv...” Asami took her cup after adding some creamer. 

“No. You’re not to worry about me right now. You have a girlfriend who needs you and all that concern. You can worry about me when this calms down a bit”. Kuvira put the creamer away after adding some to her coffee. 

“Similar situation to... Mako and Korra?” Asami took a sip.

“Yes and no. At least I hope he never, ever did that to her. Cause if he did, I swear I’d go rip his dick off barehanded in the middle of that police station right now”. She was staring into her mug, slightly biting at the inside of her lip. She both wanted to spill everything to Asami and to kill this conversation now since her friend had plenty to worry about as it was.

“Kuv. Were you..?” She stared at Kuvira, not wanting to finish the question. 

Kuvira pursed her lips slightly before nodding and looking up to the ceiling to fight back the tears. “H-he’s in prison. It was quite the fight. Drugs and alcohol were involved, my parents didn’t believe me. They eventually kicked me out. It was all a huge mess for a while”.

“I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t have-“

Finally regaining her composure, she looked to Asami. “No, it’s fine. Yeah, it hurts to talk about and remember all of that. But... someone else needs to know besides Su and the family. You’re my friend, Asami. Su.. wanted me to tell you and Korra. Something about my support system and whatever”.

“You mean that whole speech you gave Korra?”

“Yup. It’s about time I practice what I was preaching. I’ll tell you both everything. When she’s better. You both have plenty to deal with right now”.

“I’ll hold you to that”. Asami took a drink of her coffee.

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you. How are you feeling today? Any better?” Kuvira asked softly after taking a drink of her own coffee.

“I guess a little. Getting my mind off this for the moment.. I needed it, I think.”

Kuvira looked up as Baatar Jr. walked into the kitchen. 

“Oh, spirits. Kuv made the coffee? That shit will eat your insides,” he joked, making himself a cup. “How are you doing, Asami? It’s nice to see you out of her bedroom looking a little more.. with us”.

Kuvira rolled her eyes at him while Asami spoke, “I’m.. a touch better I think. Just getting my mind off of it all for a moment”.

“Well, don’t bottle it. It’ll make matters worse. Won’t it, Kuv?”

“Oh, shut it, Junior. I know,” she muttered before finishing her coffee.

“We’re... going to see her in a little bit. Her doctors are trying to slowly wake her up”. Asami’s voice was slightly distant as she slowly turned the mug in her hands. 

“Slowly is good. It’ll put less stress on her body as she adjusts to the waking world”. Baatar Jr. took a drink, catching Kuvira steal a quick glance at him. A hint of a smile came to his face after he knew she wasn’t looking.

“I’m just.. worried her body won’t be able to handle it again..” Asami could feel the sting of tears. She knew the positive change in her mood wasn’t going to last long.

“It’s been a few days, she’s had time to recover a little more. I truly hope she’s at least somewhat responsive when you go”. He placed a gentle hand on Asami’s shoulder.

Kuvira was stunned by the sudden wave of anger that passed through her. He did that simple gesture to so many others in the past, but now it felt as though it was supposed to be something for just her. Kuvira doesn’t get jealous. She would never admit she was in this moment. She still wanted to hate him so she didn’t have to feel the way she did. 

_He’s just a friend. Calm down. What’s going on with me? Am I seriously jealous over a simple gesture of comfort?_

“Whenever you’re ready to head out, we can go, Asami”.   
__________

Asami was sitting in the chair next to Korra's bed. Not much had changed. She was still on the ventilator, still not awake, still unmoving. Asami noticed how much thinner her girlfriend looked compared to the image she had of her before all of this. 

“You know, she might be able to at least hear you a bit now. We tested her reflexes early this morning and they’re extremely slow, but at least they’re there. Spontaneous twitches are also likely to happen so we’re still waiting on responsive movements. If you need anything, hit the call button”. The nurse gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze before leaving the room.

She looked around the room as she always did when she came to visit Korra. The medication and dosage list on the whiteboard was mostly unchanged, only the sedative’s dose being lowered. The monitors still read the same vital signs. Her arm had been newly wrapped in bandages and one of the nurses took the time to wash her hair.

Asami took her hand, barely giving it a squeeze. “Hey, sweetheart. I hope you’re feeling at least a little better. I’m so sorry I let this happen. I’m... staying with Kuv at Su’s. Naga is fine, Opal is taking great care of her. Everyone misses you, Korra”.

She swore she felt Korra’s hand twitch in hers. Remembering what the nurse had said, she tried to not give it much thought. “I couldn’t stay at home any longer. Not without you. It was too quiet. Too empty. It didn’t feel anything like home anymore. You...” she swallowed the lump in her throat. “... seem to be handling coming out of sedation better this time”.

Asami noticed her face grimace slightly, passing it off as more spontaneous movement. “I’ll let you get some more rest. Kuv is waiting on me. I love you”.

She gave Korra’s hand another gentle squeeze before standing to give her forehead a kiss. As she leaned in, she felt the hand in hers give an incredibly weak squeeze. There was no way it was a spontaneous twitch. The grip only lasted for a moment before going limp again. Asami let the tears spill over. 

“C-can you hear me?” 

Another squeeze that was barely there came to her hand. She put her other hand over her face as her shoulders shook.

“I... have to get your nurse, okay?”

This time a finger was the only thing to barely move. Asami pressed the call button and a few moments later the nurse came in.

“What happened? Is she okay?”

She nodded, backing up so the nurse could do her work. “She’s.. responding. Barely. But it’s there”.

The nurse quicky went to Korra’s side before paging her doctor. She quickly gave her sternum a rub with her knuckles, causing Korra to have a faint grimace of discomfort come to her face.

“Korra, move your fingers as best as you can”. The doctor had lifted Korra’s hand slightly, watching the slow, barely noticeable movements of her fingers before putting her hand back down.

Asami watched in tears. She was both so happy and so scared. Happy that her girlfriend was finally responsive and waking up. Scared of it possibly not lasting and whatever the near future had for the both of them. She knew Korra wasn’t going to be too happy she was still alive after all of this. She knew her girlfriend was going to be in pain, both physically and mentally. She knew she was going to have to fight this battle with her.

-She responsive, Kuv-

-really?! That’s amazing! Do you want me to come in yet?-

-not yet. I want a few more minutes alone with her after the doctor and nurse leave- 

-just let me know-

-I will-

The doctor had turned to Asami. “She’s mostly coherent now. Her body isn’t quite ready for her to breathe on her own just yet, so we have to leave the vent in. Keep in mind that while she’s following commands, she’s still weak. She can’t open her eyes on her own quite yet. We’ve established a yes and no answer system. One squeeze for yes, two for no. This is going to be a long road for the both of you”.

“I know.. thank you”. She shook his hand loosely before both he and the nurse left the room again.

Asami sat on the edge of the bed, holding Korra’s hand. “D-do you know who I am, sweetheart?”

One gentle squeeze.

“I’m so sorry..” she couldn’t hold back the broken sobs any longer.

Korra barely moved her eyebrows in concern. Somewhere deep within herself, she just wanted to comfort Asami but was far too aware her body largely couldn’t move.

_Wait.. am.. I somehow still alive? Damn it. And now I can actually have thoughts? Fucking awesome.._

She could faintly feel her girlfriend lightly rubbing her knuckles. She wanted to pull away. Tell her to leave. Tell her she deserves so much better. She also wanted to kiss those lips again. Look into her eyes. 

“Do you want me to come back later?”

Korra froze. She felt that question was loaded. Deep down she wanted Asami to stay, not leave her. She also knew her girlfriend needed to rest, so later could work. The other side of her, the more dominant thoughts, was furious she was even alive. She didn’t want the help or have Asami care enough to stay or come back later. She just wanted to be alone. Korra gave Asami’s hand two hesitant squeezes.

“O-okay.. would you like Kuv to come in?”

Two more squeezes.

“Alright. I love you, Korra”.

One faint squeeze.

“I’m going to go and let you rest, okay?”

Another single squeeze. She felt Asami lay her hand back down before standing and kissing her forehead. 

“I’ll.. come see you tomorrow”.

_Don’t. I’m not worth you wasting your time like this._

Korra hear the door slide shut. She wanted to move. She wanted to run after Asami. She also wanted to run to the nearest bridge and jump. As much as she wanted to love and spend her life with her girlfriend, she was so incredibly tired of feeling like all she ever did was hurt her.

 _I love you._  
______________

Asami had fallen asleep when they got back from the hospital, so Kuvira was out in the yard with a practice dummy. She never heard Opal come up to her.

“What’s on your mind, Kuv? You only train outside when something's bothering you”.

She stopped mid swing and turned. “I.. so much. This whole Korra situation, what happened to me, and.. your.. Junior”.

Opal’s eyebrows shot up. “Oh, really? My brother is on your mind? That’s kinda cute”.

“It’s not cute! It’s frustrating. I just want him to give me any reason to hate him. Whatever this... feeling is, I can’t do it, Opal”. She turned back around, landing a kick to the torso of the dummy.

“All teasing aside, this could be good for you. When was the last time you ever dated anyone?”

“Years. You know I’ve had some flings, though”. She took a few quick jabs at the dummy.

“Flings don’t count. Especially if you were drunk or high. Spirits, when was the last time you even had sex? Has it been.. that long?”

“Opal!” She spun back around. “Seriously?! But no. Like I said, I’ve had flings and drunken one night stands. Plus I have two hands that function just fine”.

“I’m just saying.. give Junior a chance. He really, truly does care about you. A lot”. Opal turned to head back to the house to check on Asami.

“Wait! What did he say?”

“Nothing, really. He just wants you happy”. Opal had a hint of a smirk in her voice, knowing her brother’s feelings. “And to keep taking as long as you need”.

Kuvira watched in shock as Opal started to walk away. Baatar Jr. knew she felt something for him. Going off of what Opal had just said, he felt something for her too. And was willing to wait. This was not good. Kuvira didn’t do crushes and she most definitely did not do love. She spun on her heel, landing a kick at the dummy’s head. 

_He’s just a friend._  
____________

Korra felt a hand around hers. It didn’t feel anything like Asami’s. 

_Probably a doctor or something..._

“Why didn’t you come to me, dear?”

_Pema?_

“We could have worked through this. Prevented this situation”. Pema’s voice was soft and gentle as always. 

Korra gave her hand a weak squeeze. 

_Might as well let her know I’m conscious._

She wanted to open her eyes. It was starting to get lonely in the dark with just her own thoughts. The only problem was that it still needed too much effort. Energy she didn’t have. 

“Are you in any pain?”

A single squeeze. While her arm did hurt, the greatest pain was deep inside her chest. Unfortunately, she was limited to yes or no responses. 

“Your nurse should be around with your medications soon”.

She gave a light squeeze of understanding while a single tear managed to slip out of her eye. Pema wiped it off of her cheek.

“I know this hurts. I know you didn’t want to make it. You’re so strong, Korra. We can get through this. Together. People love you”.

 _With no real reason to. I don’t want help anymore. I just want to sleep._  
_____________

The nurse woke Korra late in the morning. Overnight she had gained slightly more strength, her hands worked much better and she could now lift her limbs ever so slightly. And finally she was able to open her eyes. It was labored but at least she wasn’t trapped in lidded darkness. She knew the nurse had to check her pupils, but she cursed that damned little light for being so bright.

Her eyes slowly tracked the nurse’s movements. She wanted to ask when the stupid tube in her throat would be removed. She wanted to ask when she could just leave. 

“Your wife is here to see you”.

_Excuse me? My what?_

She tried to express her confusion with her eyes but they were still to heavy for that. She opted for a faint crease in her eyebrows.

“She’s been by almost every day. Sometimes twice. The only time we didn’t see her was for a couple days when the first time we tried waking you failed. This has been hard on her too”.

_Asami? My wife? I am so confused. This would have been so much easier on her if I wouldn’t have survived.._

The nurse pushed some painkillers through her IV before giving her shoulder a gentle touch before leaving the room. Korra’s eyes rested on the glass door. She hated the ICU everyone could see everything. Her eyes then landed on a particular long legged, raven haired, green eyed woman. Even through her hazy vision, she could see she looked a little thinner, a little paler. Her heart hurt more as the door opened. 

_Just go home and get on with your life. I’m not worth the pain I keep putting you through._

“Hey you.” Asami’s voice was soft, almost relieved. She sat in the chair next to the bed after Korra raised her fingers in a slight wave. “How are you feeling?”

Korra didn’t move. She just let her eyes rest on the ceiling. She had no idea how to express how miserable she was feeling. How exhausted she was. Or how she was trying to fight letting herself be happy with Asami. How she didn’t feel like she deserved it. Or how she was still hurt about the Mako situation that landed her in this situation.

_And here I thought Bo was a good friend. But none of you woke me up or got him out. Yet Bo disregarded not only my comfort, but also Asami’s. I guess Asami at least tried to get him out. But to still decide to wait after hearing the bedroom door close? Something doesn’t seem to add up..._

“So not much better? At least... you can open your eyes”. Asami gently took Korra’s hand, clearly her voice had pulled her girlfriend back out of her head.

She gave the hand in hers two squeezes. She most definitely wasn’t doing much better. 

“You know.. there was more that happened that day. None of us ever had the chance to tell you”.

_Sure you did. You had all the time to text me or say it when you called._

Korra blinked, trying to look to her girlfriend. She still couldn’t really turn her head, so the ceiling got her attention again. That is until she felt Asami move and sit on the bed next to her.

“Mako pulled the cop card. I tried to get him out, told him you weren’t feeling well and sleeping. He.. said it was police business and he wasn’t leaving when he heard the bedroom door close. When I told him I’d have you go by the station, he still refused, threatening to call for backup if we didn’t cooperate. Please... please tell me you believe me”.

She gave Asami’s had a firm squeeze. It was the missing piece that made the story make sense. She was still deeply hurt no one said anything before all of this. Even if they did, she doubt she would have heard it through the anger and raw hurt. 

“I know I betrayed your trust, sweetheart,” Asami whispered as the tears finally came. “So if you want out, I understand. I.. I told you I’d never hurt you and I did”.

Korra gave two firm squeezes to her hand, brows furrowed in concern and fear. She wanted that damn tube out so she could say something. She wanted her body to be stronger so she could move more.

_Fights and disagreements are going to happen. We’re bound to upset and hurt each other sometimes. It’s a relationship, not a fairytale. We have to work through this together. And yet I seriously went off and tried so hard to die. I don’t want out. I want you. I’ll try so hard to not let this happen again. This was so, so stupid._

“Y-you want to stay?”

She shot Asami a look that could only be read as, ‘of course I do, I love you. what kind of question is that? I want to try to fix this’ with tears in her own eyes. Giving her hand as tight of a squeeze her limited strength allowed, the tears spilled over. 

Asami noticed that her heart rate was starting to rise.

“Sweetheart. H-hey. You need to calm down. You-“ she felt Korra pull her hand away, trying to move her arms up.

_I’m choking? Fuck. I’m choking. Damn it. Come on arms, do something. Rip this tube out. I can’t breathe._

Korra let out a weak grunt as she tried to move. Normally this would have been more panicked. Thankfully the monitors let off an alarm and the doctor and nurses came in and Asami stepped away. One held her head still, two kept her arms out of the way. The doctor turned off the ventilator before disconnecting it from the tube in her mouth.

“This is going to feel weird and it might hurt a bit. Your body is ready to breath on its own. I need to to cough as I pull this out. Ready?”

She shot him a look, urging him to hurry up. 

“Okay. Cough and don’t stop until I tell you to”.

She did as she was told, feeling a burn that was almost relieving as the tube cleared her throat and out of her mouth. An oxygen mask took its place as the doctor told her to stop coughing and take deep breaths. 

“I’m sorry, but the feeding tube is going to have to stay in for a little while longer. Your throat won’t be able to handle swallowing food quite yet. Would you like to try to have some water or ice?”

Korra gave a slight nod, letting her head roll to the side to look at Asami. The scene she had just witnessed obviously scared her a bit. She tried a weak, half smile to let her know she was okay now. The doctor offered her some water after getting her into a reclined position. Swallowing hurt worse than she thought it was going to. She decided that maybe having ice to suck on would be best for now. 

_I can talk now. Finally._

“Ice”. It was only one word. One word that startled Korra. Her voice was incredibly weak, rough, and hoarse. 

The doctor set a cup of ice on the bedside table after using a spoon to give her an ice cube. “Dont chew. Just let it melt. Smaller swallows should be easier. We’ll let you and your wife have the room for a little while longer”.

“Thank you?” It was a weak whisper as they left her and Asami alone. She looked to Asami who had sat back down in the chair. “Wife?”

Asami wiped her eyes. “It was the only way they’d let me see you, or keep me updated. Family only”.

Korra gave a slight nod. “Even... after everything? You.. you still wanted... to see me?” Talking was actually exhausting and somewhat painful. But she had so many questions and so much to say.

“Of course. I.. should have chased after you, Korra. I should have been able to prevent this”. Asami was crying again, softly apologizing to her for being such a bad girlfriend as she put it. 

“Hey.. no.. you’re perfect, ‘Sami. I’m.. the messed up one..” Korra let out a short coughing fit before continuing. “I probably wouldn’t have stopped or come back inside or whatever. You..” another cough, talking was becoming a chore but she had to get it out, “... you couldn’t have prevented this. Not.. unless you tied me to a chair or something”.

Asami watched Korra close her eyes, taking a few deep breaths. “You can stop talking... if it’s taking a toll on you”.

“No.. I need to.. get it out. Asami, you deserve better than me, okay? You deserve the world. You...” she took a deep breath, “deserve someone who won’t do.. this to you. Who you don’t have to worry about all the time. And I love you enough to destroy my own heart to let you have that if you want it. I.. meant what I said. I do want to marry you someday...” she choked on a sob that hurt way more than normal, “... but I’m not going to destroy your happiness for my own. I refuse to hurt you anymore. That’s why..” Korra couldn’t continue as her voice was cut by the tears.

“That’s why you tried to kill yourself...” Asami moved back to sitting on the bed, gently wiping the tears off of Korra’s face as her own slowly started falling.

Korra nodded, between shoulder shaking sobs managed to whisper, “I can’t live with m-myself if I’m just going to keep hurting you with stupid shit. I’m sure you could f-find love again..”

She couldn’t take it any longer. Asami gently pulled Korra into a sitting position and wrapped her arms around her, letting her cry it out into the side of her neck. Squeezing her eyes closed, she let her own tears fall. She could see where Korra was coming from. Her girlfriend thought that if she were dead, Asami could grieve and move on. What she didn’t know is how near impossible that would have been.

“No.. absolutely not, Korra. Not a love like this”.

“I don’t want to keep putting you through this.. watching me fall apart..”

“Then we can work on that. I know your mood can change quickly... but we can work on communicating it, okay?”

“I’m giving you an out”.

“I don’t want it”. She pulled Korra in tighter, being cautious of her arm. “I want you. Bro-“

“Broken bits and all?” Korra’s voice was heavy and worn. She sounded like she was going to pass out at any moment.

“Yes, baby, broken bits and all”. 

They sat like that for a few moments, quiet sniffles passing between them. A nurse had knocked on the door, signaling that afternoon visiting hours were almost over.

“I’m going to have to go, okay?” She laid Korra back down onto the bed gently. 

“Don’t.. I.. missed you”. Korra held onto her hand with what little strength she had left. The last few hours had taken a toll on her.

“It’s hospital rules. But...” Asami took her jacket off. “... I’ll leave this here”. She sat her girlfriend up again gently before draping it over her shoulders and lying her back down.

“Aren’t you going to be cold?”

“I’ll be okay. And you’ll keep that warm for me.” She gave a soft kiss to Korra’s cheek.

“Are... are you sure about this? The.. depression and suicidal thoughts aren’t just.. going to go away. This is going to be a long, painful road for us both and-“

“Korra, I know. I also know that you’re probably going to be upset you survived at some point. You have your own grieving process of sorts to go through too. I’m definitely sure about this, though. I love you”. Asami finally kissed Korra’s lips for the first time in over a week. It felt like coming home again.

“I love you too, ‘Sami”. It was a tired whisper as she pulled what she could reach of her girlfriend’s jacket slightly tighter. 

Korra watched as Asami left the room and her nurse entered. As the nurse updated her chart with current vitals and prepared her medications, a faint smile came to her face as she looked at the jacket. Maybe she was upset she survived. Upset she even tried to die again. Upset with losing someone she thought was a good friend. But the jacket was warm in a way the blanket over her never would be. 

As she felt the pain medication start to make her drowsy, she decided she would try to at the very least hold onto that warmth. This was going to be rough for a little while, she just had to remind herself this wasn’t a battle she had to deal with alone. Moments later, she felt the nurse button the top button of the jacket, whispering something about how lucky she was. It was easily the last thing she remembered before she gave in to the medication and fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all, I have a long weekend for the holiday so if I can get my ass in gear I MIGHT be able to pump out a chapter a day. It’ll be a challenge but I at the very least want to give you two chapters. 
> 
> Big thanks to all of you still hanging on, even if this rollercoaster just took a big drop. 🙏🏻🥺


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kuvira deals with her feelings, Korra has some mood swings, but she also finally admits to something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all. I have no idea what this chapter is. It feels like so much filler to me and I kinda hate it? I really don’t know how to feel about it.
> 
> Slight tw for sexual assault mention.

Korra sat on the bathroom counter a couple days later. Her doctor had cleared her to go home, only under Asami’s custody. So now she was waiting. She was still too weak to do a lot on her own, like taking a shower. She considered a bath, but remembered she still couldn’t submerge her arm. So a shower it was. She didn’t move when she heard the bathroom door open and close. The less she moved now, the more energy she would have to support her full weight for a full shower. 

“Ready?” Asami touched her cheek gently, moving her head to meet her eyes. She fought a frown seeing how tired her girlfriend looked.

“I guess”. She slowly slid herself off of the counter, untying her sweats and letting them slide down. Asami helped with her tank top before kissing her softly. Having her not wearing underwear or her chest wrap made this whole process easier on them both. 

“Do you want to try to eat more of a meal today?” She let Korra sit on the toilet seat while she started the water.

“Maybe. I’m not all that hungry”. Korra was still quiet. She hadn’t talked much since the first day she could talk again. 

Asami knelt down in front of her and slowly started unwrapping her arm. “You know.. if you want to talk about all of this, we can. I don’t want you to feel like you’re walking on eggshells around me”.

She watched as the cut came into view, tears stinging at her eyes. The stitches were removed just before she left the hospital, replaced with butterfly closures. “I know..”

Asami stood, placing a kiss to the top of her head before tossing the bandages into the trash. She looked at her girlfriend who hadn’t moved, her heart breaking. She hated seeing her like this, so broken down. With a silent sigh, she removed her own clothing before getting Korra to her feet and into the shower.

“Do you want to try washing your own hair this time?” She rested her hand and Korra’s lower back.

“Uh.. sure”. She held out her hand as Asami put shampoo into it. Bringing her wounded arm up, she tried to wash her hair with both hands, instantly groaning in pain.

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to-“

“Yes. Yes I do. I can’t keep making you do this shit for me,” Korra managed through clenched teeth. She was in pain and now fighting back tears. Stepping back under the water to rinse, she could feel Asami’s hand move up her back.

“I just don’t want you breaking the wound open, okay?” She started rubbing along her spine gently.

“So what if I do?” Korra almost spat the words as she stepped from under the water. She was still emotionally sensitive, flipping from being okay to not. Sometimes it would be minutes, sometimes the mood swings would take hours before she came back to a normal level. 

“Korra..” At that, Asami knew it was likely going to be a rougher day. 

“I’m so tired, Asami. I’m tired of being a burden on you. I’m tired of being so broken and weak. I can’t-“ her voice cut as the tears overtook her.

“Okay.. shhh, c’mere”. She wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. “I know you’re tired of feeling like this, Korra”.

Asami felt Korra’s nails dig into her hips as she cried into her neck. She slowly backed her up until her back was under the water. All she could do was hold her girlfriend in these moments. Talking had a tendency to make her worse when she was like this. Keeping one arm around Korra, she reached for a bar of soap. The bar soap was also easier for times like this. She began to wash her back gently, in as much of a soothing motion as she could. As she slowly started washing her front, she noticed she was starting to support more and more of Korra’s weight. 

“Why don’t you sit down, sweetheart? Give your legs a break”.

Korra gave a small nod and let Asami ease her down to the floor of the shower. Her girlfriend sat behind her as she pulled her knees to her chest, laying her head on them as the cries died down to sniffles. Feeling Asami gently trace her tattoo, she closed her eyes and let herself breathe in the steam in an effort to calm down.

“Do you want to get out?”

Another nod, followed by the water turning off and Asami stepping out of the shower for towels. 

“I’m sorry, ‘Sami,” Korra barely whispered as a towel was wrapped around her shoulders.

“Don’t apologize for your feelings”. She gave a soft kiss to the side of her head before helping her to her feet and out of the shower.

“No.. I’m sorry for.. this. For just being another chore for you. You could always just assign me to one of your staff”. The last sentence ended with a dry laugh.

“You’re not a chore, Korra. You’re a person. A person who I happen to love a whole lot. You’re hurting. If I left you to your own devices, you wouldn’t eat or bathe-“

“I’d be dead, Asami. If you left me to my own devices, I’d be dead,” she held out her arm for Asami to put clean bandages on. “Exhibit A”.

“Do you regret it?” She meant for that question to stay in her head. Now that it was out, she waited for the blowback. 

Korra stood when she had finished with the bandages and wrapped the towel around herself in silence. Asami knew she was trying to figure out how to answer.

“It’s complicated,” she answered quietly. “It’s such a grey area. I don’t know. Really, I don’t. In a way-“ Korra flinched at the sound of what sounded like a slamming door.

“What the fuck?” Asami tossed on her robe and left the bathroom, being followed by her girlfriend. “No. You lay down. You’re in a towel and in no position to try to fight someone”.

She watched as Asami left the bedroom and waited for a few moments before slipping out herself. Heading down the stairs, she saw Opal with Naga. After discovering the source of the bang, she went to head back to the bedroom before she was spotted. It was too late as she watched Naga run at her.

_This is going to hurt._

As Naga jumped on her in excitement, she landed with a thud and a groan. She chose to not break her fall, opting to use her injured arm to hold onto her towel and the other to reach for her dog.

“Naga, off!” She used her good hand to push her head away

Naga got off Korra and sat with a whine. She pawed at her owner’s leg as she sat up slowly.

“Korra! Are you okay?” Asami went to help her up but Korra brushed her off.

“I’m fine. Just.. that hurt”. She lightly scratched Naga’s chest.

“How about your arm?”

“Asami, really. I’m okay. It hurts more now, but it’s fine”. 

“Didn’t I tell you to lay down?” Asami raised her eyebrow, lightly tousling her hair.

“I.. got curious?” She knew her girlfriend was more than capable of holding her own, but still wanted to get into a fight with some intruder at the time.

“Curious? Are you sure? Curious Korra wouldn’t have come down in just a towel from what I remember,” Opal chuckled.

“Not like it’s anything you haven’t seen before”.

Asami lightly pushed her shoulder. “Babe! Really?”

Korra shrugged. “I’m not wrong. You’re the one who told me”.

“You told her?!”

“You told Kuv!”

“Kuv knows?!”

The three looked at each other before starting to laugh. Korra’s laugh finally lifted a weight off of Asami’s chest. She was okay for now. That’s all that mattered. She knew it could change in an instant, but for now, her girlfriend’s laugh gave her a new sense of hope. Korra would get better.   
___________

Kuvira pounded on Baatar Jr.’s door. She knew this was a terrible idea. It was the only way she could come up with to put an end to these... feelings. A few drinks of liquid courage later, here she was. Part of her hoping he was out doing anything else, the other part wanting him to be in his room to get this over with.

“Kuv? Are you okay?” He asked when he opened the door.

“No. And none of this ever happened, got it?” She pushed him back into his room and closed the door. And for whatever stupid reason, she locked it.

“What’s wrong? Um.. Kuv?” He put his hands up, not entirely sure what was happening.

She grabbed his face, took a deep breath and placed a kiss to his lips. And it felt too right.

_Fuck. Fuck! No! It was supposed to be all wrong. This isn’t supposed to feel good!_

When she pulled back, they both just stood there too stunned to do or say anything. She went to leave the room when he finally moved and spun her back around by the shoulder.

“Kuvira, can we at least talk about.. that?”

“No. No talking”. The tone of her voice was strange to her own ears.

“So... do you want to get out?”

“No. Just shut up”. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she placed another kiss to his lips. And this time, to her dismay, he kissed back. 

_Fuck my life._

Kuvira placed a hand on the back of his head as he slipped his arms around her waist. This was not supposed to be the outcome of her little test. She was supposed to hate him after that, not kiss him again. And definitely not anything deeper than the quick first kiss she gave him. Still her body continued to prove her wrong as she started a battle of tongues with him. And he was too good at this. She let an arm fall from his neck only to slide her hand under his shirt.

_This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. Damn it, Kuv, stop. But also..._

Kuvira dropped her other arm, using both hands to force the kiss to break for a moment as she pulled his shirt off. Lips met again as soon as the item was discarded. Moments later, Kuvira tossed her own shirt aside before continuing the heated kiss. She grabbed his hands and placed them on her sides. 

“You can touch me, Junior,” she barely whispered before returning her lips to his. 

Kuvira felt him pick her up and lay back on his bed with her on top. His hands were gentle with her, lightly caressing her ribs, sides, lower back. She shouldn’t be enjoying this. Her mind was blank. The war between her heart and mind finally on hold. 

She felt his fingers make quick work of her bra clasp, carefully pulling it off her shoulders before tossing it to the side. He pulled her down so their bodies were touching and gently started placing soft kisses to her neck. In the back of her mind, she knew where this was going. 

He sat up so she was in his lap, legs around his hips. His hands tentatively cupped her breasts. “Is this okay, Kuv?”

She rested her forehead against his. “I’ll let you know if it’s not”.

Kuvira let out a barely audible moan as his thumbs brushed her nipples. He made her feel safe. She could stop this at any moment. In fact, she needed to. But she didn’t want to. She rocked her hips into him slightly. Her movement earned a sound from him. She couldn’t quite place it, but she could tell it was from him getting turned on.

Soon enough, he laid her on her back and captured her lips again. She felt him give her breast a squeeze and she let out a moan. Her mind told her to stop this, her body and heart desperately said otherwise as her hips raised to try to meet his. As she did, she could feel how hard he was. Then of course everything had to go wrong and cock block her. Again.

She could feel the weight of someone else on her. One of his hands holding hers down over her head. The other forcing her legs open....

“Junior. Stop. Get off. Fuck. Just stop”. She rolled out from underneath him, tears in her eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Kuv. I didn’t-“

“Don’t..” she swallowed hard, getting up. She found her bra and put it back on with shaking hands, followed quickly by her shirt. “I’m so sorry, Junior. I really am. I thought...”

“Take your time, Kuvira. I won’t do anything you don’t want to. You never have to apologize for saying no. To me or anyone else. Ever”.

She nodded, wiping the tears out of her eyes. “I’m.. gonna see if Korra’s up for visitors. Or if Asami or Opal want to hang out”. She unlocked and opened the door.

“Take care of yourself, Kuv. Please don’t do something you’re going to regret”.

“I won’t”. Kuvira closed the door behind her before quickly walking to her room and grabbing her phone.

-are you home?-

-yeah. Korra’s half asleep from the pain meds though-

-I need to come over. I can’t be at Su’s right now-

-of course. I’ll leave the door unlocked. We’ll be in the living room-

-thank you. See you soon-  
__________

Korra jumped at the sound of Naga letting out a deep woof. In her haze, she felt for the dog using her feet once she was aware of her position. Laying on the couch, head on Asami’s lap, Naga at her feet. Her foot felt fur and she relaxed again. If she wasn’t trying to use someone as a chew toy, then it couldn’t have been dangerous. She jumped again when the door closed.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. Remember, I said Kuv was coming over”. Asami ran her fingers through Korra’s hair. 

She still didn’t quite have the heart to tell her that one of the two medications was an antidepressant. She was going to let her believe she was on two painkillers for just a little while longer. One for the actual pain and the other for pain as well as helping with the addiction possibility. The only real issue she’s seen is that Korra gets incredibly jumpy and reactive. Maybe that conversation was coming sooner than she would have liked.

“I know,” she mumbled. “I was just almost asleep”.

Kuvira sat in one of the chairs. “I fucked up”.

“What happened?”

“I almost had sex with Junior”. Kuvira rubbed her face, her feelings were all over the place.

“Opal’s brother?!”

“Ooooh be careful. She likes to walk in”.

Asami put her hand over Korra’s mouth. “Ignore her for now”.

“First of all, yes. I tried to put an end to whatever I’m feeling for him and one thing led to another and it felt so right. And then.. I.. I had to stop. And second, I would love whatever she’s on”.

“That would be the pain medication. It makes her super tired and loopy. But-“ she looked down at the head in her lap. “You did you seriously just lick my hand?”

“Mmmhm”

“Damn, Korra, you’re sky high. Can I get a couple of those?” Kuvira laughed softly. Maybe this is what she needed to feel a bit better. Time with friends.

Korra nodded sleepily.

“No, Kuv. I’m not dealing with both of you like this. I really don’t need my place going up in flames”.

“Okay, I’ll give you that one”. She sighed, leaning back in the chair.

“Did you want to talk about it?” Asami moved her hand from Korra’s mouth and resumed toying with her hair gently.

“I mean.. he’s a great guy. I just don’t do the whole feelings thing. I’ve been trying to find a reason to hate him, to get this to go away.. and it won’t”.

“So you tried to have sex with him?”

“Not originally..” Kuvira groaned, rubbing her face. “I originally just kissed him. And it felt too right. So I ended up kissing him again and one thing started leading to another”.

“Ew.. straight sex”.

“Sweetheart, you’ve had sex with men before”.

“Only a few times. And honestly? Not worth it. Most of the time I was definitely not sober, so it doesn’t count”. Korra groaned softly as she rolled onto her back, letting the side of her face rest against Asami’s stomach. “Of the times that do count.. maybe three whole times. And still not worth it. Mr. Two Pump Chump, right ‘Sami?”

She stared at her girlfriend for a moment in partial disbelief and humor as to what just came from her mouth. “You’re not wrong.. but seriously?”

“Hey. I said what I said”.

Kuvira chuckled softly. Seeing Korra like this was a breath of fresh air after seeing how she was only a few days ago. Even if it was drug induced for now.

“I’m sorry, Kuv. I thought she had fallen asleep”. Asami lightly brushed the hair off of Korra’s forehead before stroking her cheek gently.

“No, don’t apologize. I feel like she’ll be out cold in a few moments anyhow”. She could see her struggling to fight the sleep. She would watch as Korra’s body would relax and then she would slightly jerk herself awake.

“Well.. did that at least work out for you?”

“Not at all. He stopped as soon as I told him to. Asami, I want to not like him like this. I don’t get crushes. I don’t do dating”.

“Just.. try it. He seems to really care about you. And you lighten up whenever he enters the room with you”.

“I guess. I’m just so confused. How has she been?” Kuvira noticed Korra had finally given in to sleep.

Asami sighed softly, lightly running her thumb over Korra’s lips. “She had a rough morning and afternoon. At least these drops only lasted for a few minutes”.

“Are the drops getting any better?”

“A little, I guess. She-“ Asami turned her head to the door at a knock and soft growl from Naga. 

“I’ll get it”. She squeezed Asami’s shoulder gently on her way by to the door. As Kuvira opened it, her jaw tightened.

“Is Chief Korra available?”

“Seriously? I know you know what happened last time. So no. She’s not. I don’t care if this police business, you set foot in this house and I’ll shove that tarnished badge so far up your ass-“

“Let her know that Chief Beifong would still like to meet with her when she is feeling up to it. And for the record, Kuvira, I’m sorry”.

“Sorry doesn’t cut it anymore, Mako. You’re only sorry when you can hide behind that badge. Quite frankly, you’re very lucky you’re in uniform right now, Two Pump Chump”. She slammed the door in his face before she ignored her better judgment and broke his nose instead. After taking a deep breath, she went back into the living room and sat back down.

“Everything okay?”

“It was our favorite degenerate cop,” Kuvira said dryly. “Wanted to remind Korra about a meeting with Lin. Whenever she’s feeling up to it”.

“I don’t understand why they can’t send literally anyone else”. Asami looked down at her sleeping girlfriend, stroking her cheek.

“They probably do, he just takes it from whoever. If he doesn’t back off, I’m gonna lose it”.

“How about instead of me having to bail you out, you go use the pool or gym. You know, I wonder if Lin knows what he’s been doing.”

“I never thought of that”. Kuvira tapped the arm of the chair lightly. “We might not actually have to commit murder if she doesn’t know and finds out”.

“Maybe that’s part of the reason she’s pressing for a meeting with Korra. I really feel like this isn’t just a leader-to-leader type thing”.

“I guess I could see that. If it was strictly business, she would have most definitely just come over herself”.

Asami felt Korra stir slightly with a soft groan. Looking down, she saw her eyebrows creased together and her jaw was set. The medication didn’t ease the nightmares. In a way, Asami felt it made it worse. She gently pulled her head against her stomach with one hand, rubbing her shoulder with the other.

“The meds don’t help the nightmares?”

“Not at all, Kuv. Really, I feel like they’ve made her worse overall”.

“She’s still technically in your custody so I’d have a nice chat with her doc. Get her off that shit or try something else. Does she even know she’s on it?”

“If she does, she hasn’t said any-“ Asami barely dodged Korra’s head as she sat up. “Korra?” She placed a hand on her back. “You’re safe, sweetheart”.

“You were gone”.

The pained and hallow tone of Korra’s voice made even Kuvira wince slightly. This was a complete turn from the joking tone she had a little bit ago. 

“I’m right here”. Asami kissed the side of her head. “I’m right here, Korra. I’m not going anywhere”.

“Can I please stop taking that damn medication?”

Asami looked at Kuvira who shrugged before taking Korra’s hand. “You knew?”

“Yeah. The whole time. Honestly, I’m glad you lied to me about it being another painkiller.. it makes it easier to take if I tell myself the same thing,” Korra sighed softly, fighting the tears of the nightmare. “It’s just not helping”.

Asami fell silent for a moment. “You’re not mad?”

“Not at all. I promise”. She ran her hand through the fur on Naga’s chest.

“At least you know it’s not working for you. You could always try something else”.

Korra raised her gaze to Kuvira. “I don’t want to”.

“They have types that are as needed. For the really bad moments. It’s not a daily pill or anything like that. It’ll help”.

Asami felt Korra’s back tense. She knew her girlfriend didn’t want to be on medication. She knew it was a sensitive topic. But she also knew Kuvira was blunt and this conversation was going to happen, and it was happening now. All she could do was try to gauge if Korra was going to get angry or just close in on herself.

“I don’t want to be on some pill for the rest of my life, okay? I tried this one. It doesn’t work”.

“Everyone is different, Korra. It can be trial and error until you find one or a combination that actually helps. It doesn’t make you weak”.

“Bullshit! If I’m not strong enough to deal with my own mind, what’s the point?! I’m real sure you wouldn’t be saying that if you were in my position, Kuv”.

“That’s exactly why I’m saying this”.

Both Asami and Korra looked at her, but it was Korra who broke the brief silence that had fallen.

“What?”

“Korra, I’m on an as needed medication. It helps me sleep when I can’t, it helps bring me down from panic attacks. And I’m still a fighter and bartender, okay? Being on meds isn’t the end of you being you. It helps you deal with your head a bit more”.

Korra knit her brows in slight confusion. “You’re just saying that”.

“I’m really not. I’ve been on and off antidepressants and antipsychotics for a few years now”. Kuvira sighed. This wasn’t the conversation she was entirely ready for, but given her afternoon, it should have been somewhat expected.

“Seriously?”

“Korra, listen, you asked how I knew so much about the abuse cycle. It’s because.. I was too. And...” she looked to Asami, silently asking if Korra was going to be okay to handle the information she was about to share. 

Asami have a slightly pained nod. She hated that this was even a conversation that existed in her friend’s life. 

“Korra.. he..” Kuvira took a shaky breath, “he sexually assaulted me”.

“He what?!” Korra was suddenly on her feet, instantly furious that someone would ever do that. 

“Please, sit back down”.

“Oh, fuck that. I’m not sitting back down until that waste of breath is over six feet under. Where is he?!”

“Sweetheart....” Asami knew that the crash from her anger outbursts were some of the hardest. She looked to Kuvira to at least help attempt to get the anger reeled back in.

“H-he’s in prison, Korra. I can explain everything at another time. I’m... safe now”.

“For now. People like that don’t get nearly enough time behind bars. When he’s out, he’s a dead man! I swear-“ Korra felt Naga bump her fist a few times with her nose, the last one accompanied by a whine. She let herself sit on her knees, her dog pressing her muzzle into her hands.

Kuvira looked at Asami. “Did you...?”

“No,” Asami breathed. “I didn’t know and I didn’t train her”.

“Kya did,” Korra whispered softly. “Kya trained her to bring me down. I didn’t know for months. Maybe I was just too drunk all the time to notice”.

“Sweetheart.. why didn’t you say anything? We could get her certified for you”.

“I already told Kya not to”. She started rubbing Naga’s cheeks. “She’s not fully trained as a service dog”.

“We could get her trained for you. And then if you have any episodes in public, she’ll be there. Korra, sweetheart, this is a very good thing”.

Korra looked to Asami, tears in her eyes. “A-are you serious?”

“Of course. I would have suggested it sooner if I knew”.

“It takes so long to train them properly though. It’s why I told Kya I was fine with what she could do for me already. I-I never considered the public aspect of it”. She wrapped her arms around Naga and cried quietly into the fur on her shoulder.

“We’ll figure it out, Korra. Just... please consider the medication for now. Even if it’s as needed. It does help a bit”. Kuvira stood and gave Korra’s shoulder a light squeeze. “You’re not alone, okay? I am gonna head back to Su’s though.”

“Are you sure?” Asami raised her eyebrow. “You’re more than welcome to stay the night if you need to”.

“I... need to talk to Junior. He said I didn’t have to explain myself, but we really need to talk about what happened today. You two at least try to get some rest”. She gave Asami a hug when she stood, then Korra once she collected herself and also stood back up.

“If you need us..”

“I know, Korra. Same for you. Stop being so stubborn about asking for help”. She gave Korra’s shoulder a light punch before leaving.

Asami wrapped her arms around Korra. “Are you okay?” 

“For now, I think so”. She rested her head against Asami’s shoulder. “I’m.. going to talk to Lin tomorrow”.

“What? Are you sure? She said she could wait as long as you needed to”.

“I’m sure. Mako... needs to be held accountable. And so do I”.

She pushed Korra back slightly, looking into her eyes. “What are you planning?”

“I’m... going to come clean about the drugs. And what he did to me”.

“Korra.. are you sure about this?” 

She bit at her lower lip for a moment. “I’m tired of being scared of him, babe. I’m tired of just letting him get away with it. But.. it’s double edged. I have to come clean about the drug issue”.

Asami pulled her into a kiss before a tight embrace. “I’ll support you in whatever you decide, okay? And I’m so, so proud of you”.

Korra closed her eyes as she dug her fingers into Asami’s back. She fought the tears as best as she could. She knew this could be the end of her fighting career. Knew that Mako could retaliate. She knew this likely wouldn’t get him behind bars, but he would likely lose his job. Her comfort came from him getting held accountable. Korra knew this wouldn’t stop the nightmares or the random PTSD attacks, but she had Asami and Naga to help her through them. 

“‘Sami?”

“Hmmmm?”

“Did you ever check my coat pockets?”

“N-no. I couldn’t bring myself to. Why?”

She pressed her nose against Asami’s neck. “No reason. Just needed to know where you put the things if you moved them”.

“Korra....”

“Shhh. It’s a surprise for you since you didn’t look and ask my dad. It’s nothing bad. Do I have to hide the things somewhere else now?” Korra pulled back with a small pout.

“I won’t look, okay? In fact, I won’t even touch your coat until you tell me it’s okay to. I promise”.

Asami hated the mood swings Korra was still going through, but for now, she was okay again. Normal. She could take that. And when she inevitably wasn’t okay again, she would be there for her girlfriend as always. She knew this wasn’t going to be easy for a while. But there was no way she was ever going to run from the woman in front of her. She never ran when she was still using, when she was going through withdrawals. She sure wasn’t going to run now. Korra was worth it.

“You better not,” Korra whispered before pulling Asami into a kiss.

Maybe she still felt unworthy. Undesirable. Undeserving of love or happiness. Maybe she still did want to just end it all. But maybe everything would work out. The love of her life lied to the hospital to be able to see her. Asami never bailed when she got bad time and time again. She had every right to be angry, hurt, but yet she would always try to ease Korra’s pain. Always talked her through the nightmares, the anger, the flashbacks. She will never know what she did to deserve someone like Asami. 

“Do you want your meds before bed?” Asami tucked a piece of hair behind Korra’s ear.

“Just the actual painkiller. I would like to sleep tonight”. She tried to maintain eye contact, but her gaze kept flicking down to her girlfriend’s lips.

“You can’t just stop the other one, Korra. Just take half. We can get ahold of your doc-“

“I want to start seeing Tenzin”.

“We... can do that too”. Asami let a smile reach her eyes. Korra was stubborn. Seeing her actually want help wasn’t something she was prepared for. Maybe things were going to get much better.

“I... think it’s time. The other doctor is a bit of a pill pusher to me. Asami..” she took a deep breath, “I want to get better. Actually better. For you. For us”. She started absently playing with the hem of Asami’s shirt. Korra knew she had no reason to be embarrassed to admit she truly needed professional help, but she was. She felt weak.

“If you want to think about it more, it can wait”. Asami tilted Korra’s chin up. “Where is all of this coming from all of a sudden?”

She let the tears spill over. “You. I just want you. I-I want you happy and to not... have to worry about me all the time. I know... it’s out of love or whatever.. but..” she took a breath, wiping at the tears that weren’t slowing down, “.. you can’t truly be happy with me always being so... this”.

“Sweet-“

“L-let me finish.. I don’t want you to say you’re happy just because you have me, okay? Cause I’m happy I have you. I get that.. I.. I want us both to actually be truly happy. And for that to happen..” her voice hitched and then grew softer, “... I need help”.

Asami had tears streaming down her own face. She pulled Korra’s face into her neck, holding the back of her head. The admission of needing help couldn’t have been easy, and Asami was proud. Things were going to be hard for a while, she knew this, but this was a huge first step towards the right direction. 

“I love you, Korra. I love you so much. Don’t you ever, ever forget that”. She could feel her shoulders shaking as her hold on Korra tightened.

“‘Sami.. babe.. don’t cry,” Korra managed through her own tears.

“I came so close to losing you”.

“I’m here... I’m here now. I’m so sorry..” she gripped to Asami’s shirt. She felt horrible for putting her through all of this. 

“Don’t... I can somewhat understand why.. just.. please, Korra.. come to me first next time”. She continued to hold on as if Korra was just going to disappear. “Let me fight your monsters with you.. please... please.. I can’t lose you”.

Korra could only nod against Asami’s neck, whispering how sorry she was between broken sobs. This wasn’t going to be easy. She would still have moments where she would want to die. The nightmares won’t just come to a stop. Neither will the flashbacks of everything. Her own mind would still be her own worst enemy. But finally, maybe she realized she has never had to do this alone for the past year and a half. Things were finally going to be okay, not matter how hard it seemed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I have never actually had sex with a man sooooo anything with Kuv and Baatar Jr could be AWKWARD. Just.. yeah.. ignore it in the future 😅 I seriously might just end up implying it cause.. straight sex
> 
> 2) korrasami smut and adorkableness will return shortly. Me being me, I had to throw in some angst.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra has her meeting with Lin. Overall the day wasn’t awful for her, especially with how it ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I desperately needed to throw some smut in. Not even sorry.

Korra woke to her phone ringing. Blindly reaching for it, she bumped her arm on the edge of the nightstand. Cursing at the pain under her breath, she answered the call.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Korra. How are you feeling?”

Korra sat up quickly. “Hi, dad. Um. I’m.. okay”.

“Don’t lie. Are you really okay?”

“F-for right now, yes. I’m okay. I’m... really sorry about all of this”.

She heard Tonraq sigh over the phone. “I know so many people have asked why you didn’t call anyone. But why, Korra?”

“I don’t know, dad. I really thought I was doing better. I thought I was okay. I thought Asami told you guys everything?”

“She did”.

“I still don’t know what happened. I don’t know exactly what set me off like.. that. I’m.. uh.. going to start seeing Tenzin soon”.

“That’s good. I’m glad you’re getting the help you need. What about your other doctor?”

“He’s.. too pushy. He wants to keep me on daily, long term meds. I don’t want that, dad. I don’t want to go around for the rest of my life as a zombie”.

Tonraq was silent for a moment, trying to choose his words carefully. “Not all medications are like that”.

“I know. The one he has me on makes the nightmares and pretty much everything worse. I... just want to get better and stop feeling like this. I can’t keep doing... this”. Korra’s voice hitched as the tears threatened. “These mood swings.. dad, I can’t...”

“Korra, breathe. You’re strong. We love you. Asami loves you. You’re not alone”.

“Dad, I know.. I know.. I’m just so tired. Everything hurts. I want it to stop”. The tears were coming full force. She needed Asami. 

-babe. Bedroom. Please-

“S-stay on the phone with me.. please. I-I just texted Asami. Just... please, dad, stay on the phone until she gets to me”.

“I won’t go anywhere. Just let me know when she’s with you”.

Korra put her phone on speaker before setting it on the bed next to her, bringing her knees to her chest. She despised the mood swings. She was okay, and now she wasn’t. Letting the sobs tear through her, she didn’t hear the bedroom door open and close. Her head was in her hands, forehead on her knees. Her mind was racing.

“Tonraq, I’m here with her now”.

“Thank you, Asami. Please.. take care of her”.

“I will”. Asami ended the call, placing Korra’s phone on her nightstand before sitting next to her girlfriend.

“I can’t keep doing this, ‘Sami. I can’t. Everything hurts. I’m tired of being okay one second and then not the next”.

“Are you not feeling safe?”

“No. Not at all”. Korra’s voice was broken and hallow. She wanted everything to just stop.

Asami wrapped an arm around her, gently easing her to laying down. “Do you need to talk?”

Korra adjusted herself so her head was on Asami’s shoulder. She could faintly smell oil and grease mixed with the distinct smell of jasmine and orange that was uniquely Asami. “Did I interrupt your tinkering?” 

“Korra, that doesn’t matter. You do”. She started lightly rubbing her back, trying to ease the trembling of her girlfriend.

“What’s wrong with me?” It was barely a whisper, yet so full of pain. A kind of pain that was heartbreaking to hear.

“Nothing is wrong with you. It’s your brain, Korra. You’ve experienced so much that no one should ever have to experience. What can I do for you right now? Anything at all”.

“Just.. just hold me. That’s all you can really do right now”.

Asami sat herself up into a reclined position after adjusting the pillows behind her back. “Alright. C’mere.” She opened her arms for Korra to settle in, head on her chest. Wrapping an arm around her, she pulled her close before using her other hand to tuck some of her hair behind her ear. 

Korra didn’t say anything else. She just closed her eyes, letting Asami’s heartbeat and steady breathing calm her. She felt a gentle touch to her cheek. A thumb faintly rubbing against her ribs. A chin resting on the top of her head. She may hate herself at this moment, but the love she had for the woman next to her clouded all other feelings. So she forced herself to focus on that until she fell back to sleep.

The next time she woke up, she noticed she hadn’t moved at all and neither had Asami. Except for her to grab a book off her nightstand. She kept her eyes closed as she tried to figure out if she was finally okay again. A headache was coming on and her arm hurt from the accidental bump of earlier, but otherwise didn’t want to truly die.

“Babe?”

“I’m right here,” Asami spoke softly, closed her book and placed it back onto the nightstand. “Are you okay?”

“I think so. I just have a headache starting and my arm hurts”. She pressed herself closer to her girlfriend, sliding a hand under her shirt and letting it rest on her stomach. Her mind flashed to an image of the far future, a smile creeping to her face. 

Asami covered her hand over the top of her shirt, unaware of Korra’s flash of a daydream. “Would you like your pain meds?”

“Mmmhm”. 

“You’re gonna have to let me get up then”. 

“Hm? Oh. Right”. Coming back to the real world, Korra sat up and gave Asami a kiss on the cheek.

Asami raised an eyebrow after getting out of bed and noticing a half smile on her girlfriend’s face. “Are you sure you didn’t already sneak some?”

“I promise I didn’t. Just.. I love you. You know that, right?” 

“I know. And I love you too”. She wasn’t going to complain that Korra seemed genuinely happy for the moment, but still thought she was acting a bit odd. Shrugging it off, she left the bedroom to get Korra her pain meds.

It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Korra, she was just scared. She kept the pills hidden away in her home office for her own peace of mind. The last thing she wanted was for her to swing low and take the rest of the bottle. She thought she could tolerate her girlfriend using them to get high, but knew she couldn’t tolerate the risk of her using them to overdose. Asami took the bottle from her desk drawer, taking a pill out and snapping it in half before putting one half in the bottle and putting the bottle back. 

Returning to the bedroom with the medicine and a cup of water, she noticed Korra sitting on the edge of the bed with her formal robes in her hands. 

“You know you probably don’t have to wear it to see Lin”. She handed Korra the half pill and water.

“I was hoping it wouldn’t be half..” she took the medication regardless and sighed softly.

“You know you only get half in the morning, sweetheart. Are you craving again?”

“A little, yeah. And I know I probably don’t absolutely have to wear it, but I feel like I should. Ya know, chief stuff”. She set the robes on the bed and stood slowly. “Um.. can you maybe help with a shower?”

“Do you want me in the shower with you or just in the bathroom as a precaution?” Asami wrapped her arms loosely around her, placing a lingering kiss to her forehead.

“Just in case. I.. want to try this by myself this time. I mean, I feel better but I’m still getting so tired so fast”.

Asami cupped her cheek. “Your body is still healing. Let it rest when it needs to, okay?” 

“Yeah.. okay”. Korra let out a small huff of air before heading off to the bathroom, Asami in tow.

As Korra got undressed and unwrapped her arm, Asami let her eyes wander over her girlfriend’s body for the first time in weeks. She had lost some bulk from her muscles, but still looked lean. Almost too lean. She knew Korra had lost some weight from all of this, she just didn’t quite realize how much. She didn’t look incredibly sick, but she still needed to try to eat more. 

Asami watched as she got into the shower before leaning against the bathroom counter. She knew Korra’s appetite could be a bit finicky, especially as of recent. A small slip in mood, and she would eat less. A major slip and she wouldn’t eat for a day or two. But when she was in a decent mood, she could eat enough to feed an army at times. Asami chuckled softly, still never understanding how she could eat so much and still go run for several miles without throwing up. A low groan came from the shower, ripping Asami from her thoughts.

“Sweetheart?”

“I’m good. Tried washing my back. Wasn’t thinking and brushed the cut against my side”. There was no way she was about to admit to touching herself. She needed sex. The only problem being she suddenly didn’t know how to bring it up, not with her moods as erratic as they still were.

“Would you like some help?”

“Uh... yeah. Please”. Korra slid the shower door open, sudsy washcloth in hand. She handed it to Asami before turning around and closing her eyes.

Asami began washing her back, a slight frown coming to her face as she could feel her girlfriend’s ribs under the cloth. “Could you try to eat a small meal before you go to the station? Please?”

“I.. uh.. sure”. She could feel her legs start to shake slightly from exhaustion. She couldn’t quite place if it was from her short personal moment or from holding her body weight. “My legs.. babe..”

“Alright. You’re okay. I got you”. She tossed the cloth to the floor of the shower, wrapping an arm around Korra’s middle. Not worrying about the fact she was still wearing clothes, she got into the shower with Korra, helping her stand while the water rinsed her back.

Korra was still supporting a majority of her weight, resting her hands on Asami’s hips for support. “I’m sorry..” she whispered.

“Hey. No. You’re improving. I’m barely having to hold you up. And you almost got through a whole shower alone”. She gave a quick kiss to her forehead before reaching around and turning the water off.

“But now your clothes are wet. So yeah.. sorry?” She bit at her bottom lip, trying to not stare at the way the fabric clung to Asami’s body. Deep down she knew her own body wasn’t quite ready to handle sex.

“It’s just clothing. It’ll dry”. She helped Korra out of the shower, draping a towel over her shoulders.

Korra sat down on the toilet seat, drying her hair as she watched Asami undress. Her eyes trailed from her shoulders and down her back slowly, following the soft curves of her girlfriend as she removed her shirt and bra. As her eyes wandered back up, she watched the gentle muscles of her upper back move under skin as she worked her pants off. Korra felt a surge of desire settle between her thighs as Asami removed her panties before tossing a robe on.

Asami turned, seeing Korra half-assedly still drying her hair. “You okay?”

“Wha? Uh. Nope, I’m good”.

“Korra, sweetheart, I don’t think your hair is going to get much drier with a towel. What’s on your mind?”

“You. Me. In bed. Asami, I need sex”. The last sentence came out rushed as a tint of pink flicked at her cheeks.

She knelt down in front of Korra with a soft chuckle. “I know. I do too. I just.. don’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to bring it up in case you weren’t ready”.

“I don’t know if my body can really handle it quite yet, but I don’t care. It’s been weeks. Almost a month. Maybe tonight? I don’t care how gentle or slow we have to go. I just really, really need you”. 

“Korra..” 

Asami most definitely didn’t want to tell her no. She had kept her hands to herself, and only herself, many nights after her girlfriend had fallen asleep for the night. It was a chore, but she was truly worried about accidentally hurting Korra. Or that her body would simply be too tired to handle it. And her admission didn’t exactly help.

“L-later”. She held out her arm for Asami to put fresh bandages on. “Just.. please at least consider it, ‘Sami”.

“I’ll think on it, okay?” She held Korra’s arm gently, looking at the now mostly healed cut. “It’s.. looking good. We can probably get those butterfly closures off in a couple days. I still can’t believe you managed that with a pocket knife”.

_Why would you say that out loud? Are you trying to upset her?_

“Uh.. yeah.. I really wasn’t feeling anything at all”. Korra gave a slight frown. They hadn’t really talked much about her attempt together. “Looking at it now, a pocket knife doing this is pretty impressive”.

“Hey.. don’t-“

“No, no. Seriously. The level of complete numbness needed to use a pocket knife to do this is insane”.

She wasn’t getting upset talking about it. It shocked Asami a bit. If anything, Korra seemed more confused about the whole situation. Maybe in this moment, she felt a little stupid for doing it. Maybe she was truly amazed at the complete lack of restraint she had that evening. Whatever it was, she was still okay and not closing in on herself or dwelling.

“That’s.. true”. Asami started wrapping the wound in fresh bandages. From work experience, she knew different blades felt different. A fresh exacto blade could almost not be felt, especially if a cut was an accident. A knife blade was usually much more noticeable in terms of pain. So yes, the fact Korra did this with a pocket knife was impressive and she hated to admit that.

“Soooo.... food?”

“Right. Food”. Korra wanted to actually eat something, another good sign. Today should hopefully be a good day for her. “Do you want me to bring you something up or do you want to try to come downstairs?”

“I’ll come down. My legs should be fine now. Just needed a break”.

Asami tossed a bathrobe to her. “Just please don’t fall down the stairs”.

“Hey! I didn’t fall down the stairs yesterday, did I? And I was much... weaker then”. She slipped the bathrobe on, loosely tying the belt after standing. 

Korra followed Asami downstairs and into the kitchen. She made herself a bowl of cereal. It was easy and quick. And she secretly didn’t want Asami to cook for her. She felt her girlfriend had done so much for her as it was. The least she could do was make herself something to eat. After taking the first bite she realized just how hungry she actually was. 

“You know you can go sit down”.

“Hm? Yeah. I know. Just.. I didn’t realize how stupid hungry I am”.

Asami managed a soft chuckle. “Well if you’d listen to me sometimes and at least eat something small even if you’re not feeling hungry, maybe you wouldn’t be starving when you are actually hungry”.

“Oh, shush. I’m trying”.

“I know. You’re improving, Korra. It’s good. Also, I’m going to stop by the office while you’re meeting with Lin. Gotta make sure nothing blew up”.

Korra nodded as she finished her food. “Good plan”. She placed the bowl and spoon in the sink before grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl. “I’m a little nervous for this, honestly”.

“You’ll be okay. I know this is huge for you, just remember to breathe”.

“Right..”   
___________

Korra stepped out of the car after grabbing her robe from the backseat. It was far too warm in the city for her to wear the whole ensemble of her chieftain robes. She made a mental note to ask Tonraq about figuring out some kind of getup for being in the city. The robes worked great for the cold of the South, but wearing them too long here was almost unbearable. After adjusting her tunic slightly, she tossed the robe on and tied it closed loosely.

“Good luck, sweetheart. Just breathe”.

“Will do. I love you”. She closed the passenger door and gave Asami a soft smile before turning and walking to the doors of the police station.

_If Mako is here, he won’t do anything to hurt you. If Mako is here, murder is illegal. Don’t be stupid._

She opened the door and made her way to the desk, seeing quiet salutes around her.

_This is already annoying._

“Chief, how can I assist you?”

“Um. I’m here to see Chief Beifong”.

“Just through the detectives’ office. End of the room”.

_Of course._

“Thank you”. She hoped her voice didn’t waver as bad as it sounded to her own ears. 

Korra stopped in front of the office before taking a calming breath and opening the door. She was quickly met with shuffling chairs as the room of detectives scrambled to their feet to give her firm salutes. Everyone. Everyone except Mako. He remained seated, barely sparing her a glance. As annoying as being saluted everywhere was to her, the blatant disrespect infuriated her. She slowly made her way down the path to Lin’s office.

_Don’t do it. Don’t do it. Don’t-_

Before she could stop her body, she was standing in front of Mako’s desk. Slamming her hands down on the top of it got his attention and they locked eyes. 

“I don’t care if you hate me. I don’t care if you want me dead. What I do care about is how blatantly disrespectful you are to a chief of the Southern Tribe. You would never treat my father this way so don’t you dare treat me like this”. Her gaze never left and the sternness in her voice never faltered. She knew everyone was looking at the two of them. Waiting. Like they knew... something.

“Apologies, Kor-... Chief”. 

Korra shook her head before lightly pushing herself up from supporting her weight on the desk. “You’ve never been sorry for anything, Mako”.

She walked away from him before she decided to do something very, very stupid. Knocking on Lin’s door, she waited to be invited in before stepping inside the office and closing the door.

Lin turned from looking out the window, giving Korra a gentle smile. “Korra. Or.. should I say, chief?”

“No. Nope. Just Korra is fine”. She slipped off the robe, she was getting far too warm.

“Are you sure you’re okay with meeting with me? It’s only been a couple weeks since...” 

Korra sighed, draping her robe over the back of the chair before sitting down. “Lin, it’s fine. I... need to be here. To get better”.

Lin sat in the chair across from her, folding her hands on top of her desk. “Care to explain?”

“I’m... coming clean about the drug use. You can do whatever you want with that information. Everything Mako told you about it is true. You can give it to the press, lock me up. Whatever you need to do”.

A chuckle escaped from the chief of police. “Korra, drug use isn’t a crime. Possession and distribution are. We never caught you under possession and Mako never arrested you for it”.

“You’re not going to do anything?” 

“I have no reason to, legally. And I’m not going to ruin your fighting career over the past”.

Korra swallowed hard. If she wasn’t going to do anything about the drug situation, she wondered if she could legally do anything about the Mako situation. “The other reason I’m here..”

“Mako?”

“H-how did you-?”

Lin pulled a file from her desk, sliding it to Korra. “I’ve known. I could see the way you would act around him. Always tentative. He would move certain ways and you would subconsciously flinch. There was nothing I could do until you came forward. Is that what this is now?”

Korra nodded, tears in her eyes as she looked over the file. She saw a few photos of her past injuries Pema had taken. She knew she was legally bound to take the pictures and submit them. Her eyes met Lin’s. 

“Why.. why didn’t anyone say anything?”

“Korra, I privately made this file. Pema never officially reported anything. She told me you didn’t want to press charges, so I created the file. Just in case you ever did”.

She returned her eyes to the file on her side of Lin’s desk. Flipping through the pages, she brought a hand up over her mouth as she could see the injuries progressively getting worse. Lin gently set a pen at the top of the file. 

“You just have to sign the bottom of the first page to make this official. I’m sorry all of that happened to you. And I’m so sorry my hands were tied through all of this”.

Korra swallowed hard again, turning back to the first page and picking up the pen. She suddenly didn’t know if she could do this. 

“Lin? C-can you call Asami and can I stay until she gets here? She should be at her office”.

“Of course”.

Korra was in a haze, pen hovering over the line. She could hear Lin talking on the phone but couldn’t register the words. Taking a deep breath as some of the tears spilled over, she finally signed her name. She slid the file back over to Lin’s side of the desk before she covered her mouth again, trying to desperately quiet the ragged sobs escaping her.

Lin gathered the file quietly, setting it off to the side. “She’ll be here shortly. Would you like me to call anyone else?”

She shook her head slowly. “What did I do, Lin?”

“The right thing. I can assure you that”. Not wanting to yell, she stood and opened the door for Asami.

“Is she okay?”

“She’s not great, but she’s calmed down a little. Come in”. She closed the door behind Asami, decided to just watch from a distance.

“Lin? C-can she see the file?”

“If you’d like her to, I don’t mind”.

Korra reached for the file, shakily handing it to Asami. “I.. I had no idea this existed until today”.

Asami took the file, slowly leafing through the pages and photos. She didn’t know if she wanted to cry seeing some of the injuries or walk back out of the office and give Mako a piece of her mind. Physically.

“You signed it”. It was somewhere between a question and statement as she saw Korra’s signature.

“Yeah.. I did. I’m.. I’m scared. He’s going to retaliate”.

“I can get you a restraining order against him. He won’t be permitted to be within 200 feet of you”.

Korra nodded again as Asami placed the file back on the desk before stepping behind her girlfriend and began rubbing her shoulders. “I’m proud of you, sweetheart. I really am”.

Lin returned to her desk, sliding a paper to Korra. She read over it a few times to make certain she understood the terms before signing it. Receiving her own copy, she stood and pulled her robe back on.

“I’ll personally be in contact with you about everything”.

“Thank you, Lin. For everything”. Korra gave her hand a firm handshake before intertwining her fingers with Asami’s.   
  


“Ready?”

Korra took a deep breath before nodding and opening the door. She was once again met with stiff salutes from everyone. This time it truly was everyone. A smirk made its home on her face as she let go of Asami’s hand and slipped her arm around her waist, deliberately making eye contact with Mako before the two made their exit.

It may have been petty, but it felt good. She would have no qualms making petty gestures from 200 feet away any time she saw him from here on out. It was his turn to suffer a bit.

Asami unlocked the car, opening the door for Korra. “Are you okay?”

“Surprisingly, for right now, yeah. I feel... lighter. If that makes sense”. She shrugged her robe off, gently tossing it to the backseat. “I know this won’t make anything easier or cure me. But.. for right now, I’m good”.

“Good”. She have her a quick kiss before closing the passenger door after she had gotten in. 

_She’s going to be okay. There are going to be times and moments where she won’t be the greatest, but she’s going to be largely okay._  
_____________

“So, when are you officially going to start appointments with Tenzin?”

Korra looked up from her dinner, swallowing the bite she had taken. “Um.. next week. ‘Sami?”

“Yes, love?”

A smile broke across her face. “Today was... good”. 

Sure, she had a bit of a breakdown at Lin’s office, but it should be deemed a normal reaction. Especially looking back at everything Mako had done to her. They had photographs. He was definitely going to lose his job. Possibly spend at least a little time behind bars. And he wasn’t going to be allowed to be with 200 feet of her. She considered it a win. Korra felt as though she was finally starting to get stronger. She was actually feeling hunger again. She finally bit the bullet and scheduled an appointment with Tenzin. Today was good for her. Finally.

Asami returned the smile across the table. “Yes. Yes it was. Let me.. make it a little better for you?”

“Hm? How?” Korra took another bite, eyebrow raised slightly.

“Finish your dinner first”. Asami winked before standing from the table. “Then come upstairs”.

“O-oh... Oh! Okay. Yeah. Um. Yes.. please?” Korra unabashedly stared at her girlfriend’s ass as she walked off to the kitchen to drop her empty plate into the sink. She both loved and hated when she wore those skin tight skinny jeans. Loved the view, hated how stubborn they were to get off.

“I’m serious about finishing your dinner,” Asami said quietly, coming up behind Korra’s chair and lightly rubbing her shoulders.

“If I decide I’m not hungry for... food?” Korra tilted her head back, looking up into her eyes.

“Hmmm... then I guess you’ll just have to watch”.

“Wha?! That’s just mean”.

“Then I suggest you finish your dinner. I’ll be waiting”. Asami lightly pushed Korra’s head forward before leaving the dining room to head upstairs.

She sat there staring at the last bit of her food. Sure, she was hungry. But she was definitely starving for something else. Letting out a soft huff of air, she continued her dinner. She wasn’t about to see if Asami was serious about her just having to watch.   
____________

Korra cracked the door to the bedroom open. “Babe?”

Not getting a response, she opened the door the rest of the way. Glancing around the room, she noticed Asami had lit a few candles and had some soothing music on. Her eyes finally landed on the bed. Her girlfriend had most definitely been waiting. She was propped up, reading her book, and very, very naked. Korra swallowed hard, closing the door.

“You better not have given the last of your food to Naga”. Asami closed her book, setting on the nightstand.

“Uh.. um. Nope. She.. uh.. she’s still on the couch. Asleep. Which is definitely not something I want right now. Spirits.. uh..” Korra rubbed the back of her neck. This wasn’t what she was expecting to walk into, not that she was complaining. 

“You okay over there?” She chuckled softly. Asami wasn’t expecting Korra to get so flustered, but it was still adorable. She missed this. 

“I’m good. My brain just.. died for a moment. Spirits, you’re so gorgeous”. She let her eyes run over her girlfriend’s form before quickly discarding her own clothing.

“Well, get over here. I missed.. you”. Asami lightly patted the bed next to her.

Korra took no time in joining her in bed. “I haven’t gone anywhere,” she whispered softly.

“You know what I mean. I’ve missed you. This.. you being.. stable”. She rolled onto her side, just barely running her fingers along Korra’s jaw.

“I.. I’ve missed me too. Y-you know... it’s probably only.. temporary”. Korra’s head was spinning as Asami straddled her hips. Not having sex for nearly a month definitely weakened her self control.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there, okay? Let’s not worry ourselves with the future. Let’s just be here, in the now. And right now, you’re back to you”. Asami leaned forward, capturing Korra’s lips in a deep kiss. She felt warm hands settle on just above her hips, guiding her in a slow rock.

She broke the kiss, receiving a groan of complaint from the woman under her. The noise quickly changed tone as she moved the attention of her mouth to Korra’s neck. “I have a surprise for you,” Asami’s whisper was hot on her neck.

“H-huh?” Korra was focused on two things. Her girlfriend on top of her and the growing, throbbing heat between her own thighs. Words were already difficult to understand, let alone form.

“You’ll see”. She gently pulled on her earlobe with her teeth, securing a drawn out moan and roll of the hips from her girlfriend. Asami just needed to be sure Korra’s body was up for it.

Korra let out a soft whimper when Asami moved off her body, kneeling between her legs. 

“St-stop staring”. She raised her hips, nearly pleading for her girlfriend to touch her, give her release.

“Korra, I don’t want this to be too much, too soon. I can still wait. Whenever you’re ready”. She slowly ran her hands up the insides of Korra’s thighs.

“I... I already told you... I need this. Spirits, do I need this. I don’t care if it’ll be too much and I’m stuck in bed all day tomorrow. Just.. please”. She let out a groan as Asami’s hands left her legs, just as her fingers started to graze over her outer lips. Propping herself up on her elbows, she shot her girlfriend a pleading look. “I’m being serious. Fuck my brains out. Please”.

Asami fought back a smirk. She wanted to tease just a little longer. In the back of her mind, she was still afraid she would accidentally hurt her. She made mental notes to not let Korra hold onto her with her left arm, to not bump that arm, to basically keep that left arm out of play. Korra wanted this, and so did she, but she also really didn’t want to exhaust her girlfriend to the point of not being able to get out of bed the next day.

“Sweetheart, I don’t want to hurt you”. Asami let her hand dip between her own legs, making slow circles around her clit. She knew Korra was watching and that she was going crazy.

“Fuck. You won’t. Just...” she swallowed thickly, attentively watching Asami’s finger slowly dip inside herself. “Uhm.. sit on my face or something. Let me take care of you at the very least. If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll get myself off. Just-“

She was silenced as Asami leaned over her, a wet finger pressed to her lips. Her breath caught for a moment before taking the finger into her mouth with a soft moan. 

“You’re talking too much, love. You won’t have to take care of yourself. Or me. I... bought us something. You just have to promise to tell me if this is too much”. She removed her finger from Korra’s mouth, tilting her chin up to meet her eyes.

“Uh... yeah. I.. I promise. The only thing that is too much right now is how fucking soaked I am and nothing is being done about it”.

“Korra-“

“I’m about three seconds away from saying fuck whatever you bought. Please, Asami. Just. Fuck. Me”. She hated how much she was begging, pleading. But she was aching. Her own hands were only so much. And most of the time when she was in the mood, she was too tired to do much about it so it was usually ignored. 

Asami stood up off the bed, a small smirk at the corner of her lips. “I’ll be right back”.

“What?!” She watched as her lover walked off to the bathroom, leaving the door only slightly ajar. Sitting herself up, she noticed a slight trail of her wetness from where she had been laying. “Hurry up, babe!”

Asami’s eyes met Korra’s as she walked out of the bathroom, flicking the light off. “Well?”

She was absolutely speechless. Eyes wandered down her body, fixated on the leather harness of the strap-on perfectly hugging Asami in all the right places. Korra had been too shy to even bring up getting toys. She knew her girlfriend didn’t know if she was okay with it. But all she could manage was a lopsided grin and quick nod. 

“Are you sure about this, Korra? Cause I can just-“

“Shut up. Inside. Now. Don’t make me beg again. Please”. She scooted herself back to laying down, knees up, legs open. She was more than ready for this.

Asami crawled on top of Korra after applying lube to the shaft of the toy. She gave her a deep, heated kiss as she slowly slid the toy into her. A soft moan escaped as she felt her girlfriend gasp in pleasure against her lips when their hips made contact. She waited for Korra’s cue to move, not wanting to hurt her. And that cue came quick and rough as she bucked her hips up, a leg locking around the back of her thighs.

As Asami rocked her hips back, a low moan tore through Korra’s lips. She knew neither of them were going to last long. Not after not being like this with each other for as long as they had been. She started a slow pace, enjoying the small whimpers and moans coming from the woman under her a little more than she maybe should have. 

Korra hooked her arms under her girlfriend’s, nails digging into her shoulders. Her hips quickly matched Asami’s pace. 

“B-babe... I need you to.. faster..” words were definitely difficult, but she got her point across. Asami was starting to moan into her ear. The sound making her vision blur in desire momentarily. For a moment she stopped breathing, right on the edge.

“Sweetheart? Are you okay?” She slowed her pace again and quickly felt nails dig into her shoulder blades.

“Don’t. Stop”. She pulled Asami back down, growling into her ear, “fuck me like you mean it, Sato. I won’t be long”.

That side of Korra came out and sent Asami’s mind into a frenzy. She was close herself, doing some minor adjustments to the harness earlier proved worth it. The adjusted strap hit her clit in all the right ways. She pulled out for a moment, flipping Korra to her stomach in one smooth motion. Lifting her hips by the hinge at her thighs, she sunk the dildo in until their thighs met.

Asami started a hard and fast pace, all worry of Korra’s body not being ready out the window. It was clear she was ready for a pounding, and she was going to deliver. She grabbed a fist full of Korra’s hair, pulling her head back. Her moans and cries of pleasure were enough to send Asami crashing over the edge.

Her thrusts became choppy as she rode the wave of her orgasm. But Korra wasn’t done. Letting go of her hair, she leaned over, reaching around to rub at Korra’s throbbing clit. She was close and Asami knew she needed both penetration and clitoral stimulation to come crashing over the edge. A few more hard and deep thrusts paired with quick strokes over her clit, Korra tensed with a low, deep, and drawn out moan. 

Asami slowed her pace to help her girlfriend ride out wave after wave until her legs shook with exhaustion. She pulled out slowly, easing Korra’s hips down before removing the strap-on and tossing it off to the side. 

“Wow... just... wow”. It’s all Korra could give in that moment. Murmuring through deep breaths, she managed to get Asami’s attention.

“You okay?” She laid down next to Korra, absently tracing her tattoo through the afterglow.

“You have no idea. You?” Closing her eyes, she could feel the exhaustion setting in. Maybe her body wasn’t fully prepared for something so rough, but she needed it, her desire overwhelming. Maybe things could be more gentle and intimate next time. 

“Perfect. It was needed. I’m gonna blow the candles out and then we are so going to sleep”. 

Korra nodded slowly. She knew she was going to be asleep before Asami made it back into bed. She decided to murmur as coherently as possible, “I love you, ‘Sami”.

“I love you too, Korra”. As she blew out the final candle, she was met with a soft snore coming from the bed. “Hmmm you’re going to be feeling that tomorrow”.

After climbing back into bed and draping an arm over Korra’s lower back, she let sleep take her as well. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A decent day goes very, very wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To start, I’ve been tossing this idea around in my head for a while. Sooooo I’m super sorry ahead of time. 
> 
> I also haven’t been the best mentally.. so yay more angst writing. I’m okay though. 💜💜
> 
> Tw for suicidal ideation.

Asami tossed her hair into a loose ponytail outside of her workshop. She didn’t find Korra or Naga in the house so assumed they were out on a walk and decided to get some leisure work done. Her girlfriend’s good days were becoming more frequent as the weeks passed. Smiling to herself, she opened the door and heard music coming from the back corner. She would know that playlist anywhere.

As she walked further in, she noticed Korra at the workbench in the corner intently working on something. Only Naga had noticed her presence, walking up to her after standing and stretching with a yawn. She gave the dog some scratches behind the ears as she watched Korra work on whatever it was. Watching with a smile, she could barely see her forearms flex and relax.

_Is she... carving?_

“What’re you working on over there, love?”

She didn’t mean to scare her. Korra jumped slightly, dropping a few tools on the floor before quickly gathering whatever she had been working on and stuffing it in her pocket.

“H-hey, babe! Um, nothing? How long have you been standing there?” She gathered the tools she had dropped and set them on the workbench before turning with a crooked grin.

“Long enough to see that you’re very dedicated to whatever it is”. Asami approached Korra, taking her hands gently. “I didn’t know you did carvings. Do I get to see it?”

A blush rose to her cheeks as she chuckled nervously. “N-no? Not yet, it’s not done. So... Uhm.. maybe another time. I love you?”

“Why so nervous? It can’t be that bad, even if it’s in progress”. 

“Well.. um.. you see, it’s kinda for you so...” her train of thought completely ended as Asami ran a thumb over her lower lip.

“You’re adorable. You can keep working on it, you know. I have this,” she nodded towards the motorcycle, “to work on”.

Korra kissed the thumb on her lip lightly. “Tempting. But you can’t look. At all. Not even a glance”.

Cupping her cheek, Asami pulled her into a lingering kiss for a moment. “It must be incredibly important if I can’t even spare a glance”.

“Hmmm it’s just a tribe thing. You wouldn’t get it”.

“Then explain it to me”. 

“That would completely ruin the surprise, so.. it’ll have to wait too. I know that big brain of yours likes to learn all sorts of things, but this lesson is gonna have to come at another time”.

“And when exactly will this lesson happen?” She let her hands lightly wander over Korra’s bare shoulders. With her feeling better, she’s gotten back into an almost normal routine and it was finally starting to show again. 

“If everything works out and you’re lucky, I’m thinking.. the Lights?” Korra let her hands rest at Asami’s waist, fighting the eye contact. She was determined to not have this little secret spill.

“Well, I deem myself lucky already. So let’s just make sure everything works out. You only have a few months”. She gave her girlfriend a wink before slipping out of her hands. “But I do have some work I need to get done on this”.

Korra watched as Asami gathered some tools before taking her jacket off and putting on her work gloves. Once she decided her girlfriend was occupied with her motorcycle, she went back to the workbench. A smile came to her face taking the stone back out of her pocket, setting it on the table. 

Asami couldn’t help herself. She would periodically steal quick glances to her girlfriend. Whatever it was, it was extremely important. Korra rarely kept secrets from her. It was definitely too small to see from her position, and flat enough there was no real distinct shape. At one point, their eyes met and Korra gave her a pout as she covered the object with her hand quickly.

“I said no peeking!”

“I can’t even see it from here. And what if I’m just looking at you?”

Korra narrowed her eyes slightly, not so patiently waiting for her to turn back around.

“What? It’s not my fault you’re good to look at. And nice to watch”. Asami picked a wrench up from next to her foot before turning her attention back to the bike.

Giving a joking eye roll aimed at her girlfriend’s back, Korra moved her hand and looked over the stone for Asami’s necklace. Making the stone circular and smooth took the longest so far. She had gotten a circular border carved, as well as the start of the waves of her tribe’s crest. And idea hit her the more she looked it over. She needed steel. With a soft chuckle, she resumed her carving.

Minutes quickly passed into hours. The two occasionally stopping their work to just talk about whatever they had on their mind for a few moments. Asami was trying to figure out a new railway system for the city. Korra was preparing for another fight, one of four that she was set for before going to the South. 

“If you have the railway thing, why the motorcycle?” Korra pocketed the stone before standing, deciding she could finish it up over the next few weeks. 

“As weird as this sounds, keeping my hands busy with something simple like this makes it easier for me to think on the more complicated problems”.

“Simple?” She went and sat next to Naga, who had decided to curl up near the back of the bike. “Nothin’ about this looks simple to me”.

“It’s similar to your snowmobiles down south. Obviously there are some differences, like tires instead of a track. They both have an engine and a clutch system....”

Korra had stopped registering the technical words coming from Asami’s lips. All she knew is that her girlfriend was incredibly smart and passionate about her work. She knew a small amount about mechanics, but it was essentially nothing when it came to what Asami knew. Korra was just going to let her continue on her tangent about engines and clutches and gear systems and whatnot.

_She’s so damn hot when she gets like this. So excited about stuff I know pretty much nothing about._

“Sweetheart?”

“Hmm?”

“What’s that smile all about? You weren’t paying attention, were you?” Asami cocked an eyebrow at the almost dreamy smile on her girlfriend’s face. She knew Korra was not nearly as interested in this as she was.

“Mmmm not really. All my attention was on how attractive you are. Especially when you get all excited about stuff you’re super passionate about”.

“I could say the same about you, love. Not to mention watching you fight... it’s a really, really nice view”.

Korra looked up at Asami, face turning red. “What? Uh.. yeah. Um.. I, uh, thought you got worried when.. um.. I’m in the ring?”

“I do. But there’s just... something about the way you move”. Her voice was low as she knelt down in front of Korra, gently shooing Naga to go lay elsewhere in the shop.

Swallowing hard, Korra barely managed a weak, “in here? R-really?”

“It’s a possibility,” she whispered, lightly pushing Korra back onto the concrete of the workshop and straddling her leg. “It would definitely give me something else to think of aside from just work”.

“Is that what goes on in the, uh...” Korra took a shaky breath as Asami trailed a finger down her stomach, “... office?”

“On occasion”. She felt Korra grab her hips and slightly raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t be so eager, love. If I remember correctly, Kuv has a fight to get ready for and you two are fight partners. So, I think you should get yourself ready to go”.

Asami gave her a quick kiss before standing with a smile. She watched Korra’s chest rise and fall with each breath. Maybe she had been a little mean with the teasing, but she knew it would be worth it later. Her girlfriend let out a soft groan of frustration and a small smirk came to her face before tossing her ponytail over her shoulder. She knew Korra had a very high libido and it never took a whole lot to get her really in the mood.

“You’re such a tease sometimes, ya know?” Korra got to her feet, shooting Asami a small pout.

“I wouldn’t do it if you didn’t love it. Go on. Get yourself to the gym.” 

Rolling her eyes, she let out a small huff before giving Asami a lingering kiss. “You’re gonna come see the fight, right?”

“Of course. I have a few things to take care of for work, but I’ll be there. Promise. I love you”.

“Mmm.. I love you too. Don’t work too hard. I’ll see ya later, babe”.

Asami watched as Korra gave Naga a scratch on the head before heading out of the workshop. When she deemed the coast was clear from the curious eyes of her girlfriend, she pulled a band of platinum from her pocket. Korra may be able to carve whatever material she was working with, but Asami could easily engrave various metals. And that’s exactly the work she was planning to get done before going to see her friend fight.  
_____________

“You ready for tonight?” 

“Not really. I have a lot on my mind”. Kuvira gave Korra her fourth glass of rum and coke before taking a drink from her own second mixed drink.

“You know you shouldn’t drink before fights. Is it that bad?” She took a drink, always thankful her friend was a bartender on the side.

“I still can’t get past these feelings for Junior. Korra, I don’t do this. I get drunk, sleep with whoever wants to, and leave”.

“So.. get drunk and fuck him. And then leave”.

Kuvira rubbed her temples before sitting next to her friend on her couch. “I wish it was that easy. I tried. Damn, did I try”.

The two decided to skip the gym, hanging out at Kuvira’s apartment instead. Kuvira insisted. She didn’t see the point in getting worn out before a fight. And she really needed to get her mind off of things. Korra was just so easy to talk to. Sometimes too easy.

She watched as Korra finished her drink. Against better judgment she asked, “do you want another?”

“Dude, Asami is going to kill me if she finds out I’m drunk. But... yes, please. And heavy pour this one. I can barely taste the rum”.

“As you wish,” Kuvira chuckled before heading back to the kitchen.

Korra had no idea what was going on with her. She’s been calm all day. She spent time with Asami in the workshop, working on the stone while her girlfriend did work on that motorcycle. And now she was getting hammered. Unfortunately, her friend was also a bit tipsy and wasn’t being the best judge as to when to cut her off.

She took her glass from Kuvira and took a drink. “That’s better. So.. what are you going to do about your little situation?”

“Probably something I’m going to regret..” she looked over at Korra, knowing her friend had no idea just how much she already had to drink.

“Murder is illegal. Just in case you forgot. You can’t just kill him”. Korra didn’t notice how slurred her speech was starting to become.

“I’m not gonna kill him. I just need.. a distraction”.

“Well, I’m here and you have a fight coming up soon. You sure you don’t want to spar?”

“I don’t want to get too worn out. And we’re both too drunk to make a spar worth much”. Kuvira looked into her cup, becoming aware she just admitted to drinking more than what she had let on.

“C’mon. You’re not exactly going to be sober when you get in the ring. Might as well figure it now”. Korra stood after downing the rest of her drink and moved the coffee table to make an area for a small battle. 

Kuvira watched her silently, trying to not stare at her friend. Bad ideas continued to brew in her mind and the idea of a friendly spar was not helping. As she was finishing her drink, Korra pulled her shirt off to get ready for this living room match.

_Oh. No. Fucking damn it all._

“You comin’?” Korra stumbled slightly as she kicked her shoes off.

“Um.. right. Sure. I’m.. gonna get our cups into a safer location”. She took Korra’s glass from her hand and walked both glasses to the kitchen, her mind in a war. After eyeing the bottle of rum, Kuvira grabbed it and took a quick drink before going back to join her friend.

“So, is he going to be watching tonight?” Korra got into a sloppy fighting stance.

Kuvira pulled her own shirt off, mirroring Korra. “He said he’d be there. So.. I guess I hope so?”

“You hope so, huh? You must really be falling for him”. She dodged a left hook from her friend.

“No! Not like that. I.. I don’t do that, Korra”.

_I don’t normally do this either.. I’m sorry._

“It’s about time, honestly. You guys would be too cu-“ she was cut short by Kuvira tripping her up. 

She straddled Korra, attempting to land at least a few punches. Since neither of them had gloves or mouth guards, punches were pulled as to not actually inflict damage. Then her body betrayed her yet again, breaking Korra’s defense of her face and head and pinning her hands over her head. In a moment, she let the alcohol take over and pressed her lips to Korra’s. Much to her surprise, she didn’t fight it.

_Why would you do that? She’s easily your best friend aside from Junior. And.. fuuuuck. Asami._

Kuvira went to pull away, put a stop to whatever this was. Until she felt a nip to her bottom lip and unusually warm hands on her sides. Korra was definitely incredibly drunk. Kuvira knew better than this, only to lead to wonder why a low groan came from her lips. This was bad.

After a few moments of wandering hands and lips, hips subtly grinding against each other, Kuvira pulled back. “Korra..”

“Sh-shit. Oh fuck”. Korra shoved Kuvira off of her. “No. This... this can’t happen, Kuv. I’m.. fuck. I’m sorry”.

“I should be the one to apologize. I kissed you. Korra?” She watched as Korra got to her feet and pulled her shirt on, tears in her eyes.

“I fucked up. I fucked up so bad”. She begun to pace, hands in her hair.

“Hey-“

“How can I expect her to marry me when this shit happens?! I’m just as bad as fucking Mako. Maybe I should have just tried harder and not told you where I was!” 

“No. Korra, no. Don’t go down this road. I’m sorry. I can tell her-“

“No! It’s not your... relationship. If it’s going to blow up.. it’s going to be in my hands”. Korra gave a dark chuckle. “Why did I ever think this would work? I ruin everything good I’ve ever had”.

“That’s not true...” Kuvira watched as Korra pulled something out of her pocket and tossed the object to her. Looking over the small stone, she gave Korra a confused look.

“It’s how my tribe does proposals. We make a necklace”. She wiped the tears out of her eyes. “Honestly.. it doesn’t fucking matter anymore. This. This is exactly what I mean when I say she deserves so much better than me!”

Kuvira wrapped her hand around the unfinished pendant. “Korra.. it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have-“

“Shut the fuck up, Kuvira! I kissed back! I touched you back in a way friends just don’t!” She fell to her knees, slamming her fist into the floor. “Just.. just throw the pendant away. I give up”.

Kuvira tucked the pendant into her pocket. She wasn’t sure if comforting her sobbing friend was the acceptable thing to do after what just happened. “She’s.. understanding. Just tell her it was me. Don’t just give up on this”.

“Just.. leave me alone. Please. Tell her whatever you want. I’m telling her what happened and then I’m just going to disappear. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t. Just go to your fight. Good luck and whatever”. Korra just stared blankly at the floor, tears dripping off her chin.

“I’m not just leaving you like this. You’re my friend, Korra. You’re coming to the fight. You’re going to do what you always do when helping me get around. And you’re going to be in my corner”. Kuvira grabbed her under the arm, pulling her to her feet. There was no way she was going to let a friend be alone when they were suffering like this. 

“Seriously?” She fought against her friend's grip as she was led to the car.

“Yes, seriously. I’m not losing you. I’ve lost enough friends”. She opened the passenger door and waited until Korra finally decided to get in and closed the door. She tapped her pocket as she made her way around to the driver’s side.

_I’m going to do everything I can to make sure you get to give this to her._

Kuvira got into the car and started it before securing her seatbelt. “Get your seatbelt on”.

Korra just scoffed. “Why? Wouldn’t matter”.

“Korra, please...”

“Fine!” She shouted, deciding to hook her seatbelt to shut her friend up. “Should you even be driving then? You’re not exactly sober”.

“I have to make one turn. We’ll be fine. And I’m more sober than you are right now”.

Korra rested her head on the window in response. She truly didn’t care if they were in an accident. As Kuvira drove, she just stared out the window choosing to be in her head. Alone. No reason in voicing her thoughts at this point.

“Let’s get inside. I have to get ready”. Kuvira got out of the car and waited.

Korra got out of the car, glancing around the parking lot and seeing Asami’s car. Guilt and a deep,hallow pain made its home in her chest. She had her mind made up. She would sit through the fight, tell Asami what happened, and just leave. Anywhere but the city or back to the South. She was done. She couldn’t feel anything. Korra silently followed Kuvira into the building and to the locker room, sitting heavily on the bench. 

“Listen, Korra, I’m-“

“Just stop, Kuv. Please.. stop. Get ready for your fight”. She pulled Kuvira’s bag to next to her, getting the hand wraps ready.

Kuvira sighed, turning around and changing into her shorts and sports bra. She was definitely worried about her friend. It had only been a little over two months since the last time she was like this. And this time it was all her fault. She already resigned to losing this fight. She had far too much on her mind to keep her head in it.

Korra heard a knock on the locker room door and got up, stumbling slightly to answer it.

“May I?”

She turned to the direction of Kuvira. “You want your boyfriend in here?”

“Damn it, Korra! He’s not my boyfriend! But yes.. he’s allowed”.

“Yeah. You can go in. She’s around the corner”.

“Are you okay?”

“Just go be with her, Junior. Stop worrying about me”. Korra knew her voice was empty. She was out of energy to care. 

Baatar Jr. gave her a concerned look before making his way to Kuvira.

Korra rested her head on the door, half listening to the small talk the other two were having. She couldn’t decide if she was numb or feeling everything all at once. This was easily the worst day she’s had in over a month. Sitting on a bench near the door, she pulled out her phone. 

-I need to talk to you and mom later. It’s kinda big-

-what’s going on?-

-I’ll call you later. Love you-

She opened her photos and started scrolling through the pictures. She could recall almost all of the moments captured in time. Photos from her birthday, Valentine’s Day, Asami’s birthday, their first anniversary, going to the South for her tattoo, going to the beach... she didn’t notice the tears that had spilled over until they started falling to the screen. 

_At least this morning and early afternoon were good.._

“Korra! Need my hands wrapped!”

“One sec..” Korra wiped her eyes and face as best she could, taking a breath to hopefully stop the tears from spilling over before meeting back up with Kuvira. 

“You.. you can go, Junior. I.. we have a bit of a ritual we do”. It was a lie. She could tell Korra had been crying. She didn’t look good at all.

“Of course. Give ‘em hell, Kuv”.

She waited for the close of the door before holding her hands out to Korra. “You okay?”

“I’m probably going to lose the love of my life tonight. So yeah, I’m actually great. Never been better”. She secured the first wrap, slowly starting the other while desperately fighting the tears at the edge of her eyes.

“Korra, I’m not stupid, okay? You look.. bad. Real bad. I don’t want to stand here and beg you to please not do that again. But I will if I have to”.

Korra gave a shrug, knowing if she were to speak she would just break down. She secured the second wrap and tossed her friend her gloves. 

“I’m being serious”. Kuvira slipped her gloves on, letting Korra Velcro them around her wrists. “You better be in my corner at the break of each round”.

“Yeah. Sure”. Korra glanced up at the time at the sound of the buzzer. “Ready?”

“As ready as I think I’m gonna get”.

“Still drunk?”

“A little”.

“Use it to your advantage. I know how you get sometimes when you’re drunk”. Korra slung Kuvira’s bag over her shoulder and followed her out of the locker room in a slightly drunken haze.

-Kuv’s about to head to the ring. Where are you?-

-my usual spot when I watch you-

_Well I guess I can’t just slip out.. cool._

“Open up”. Korra slipped Kuvira’s mouth guard in just as she was announced to enter the ring. As her friend made it down the path, she had half a mind to turn and leave through the back doors. The only thing stopping her a set of green eyes sitting in their usual spot just behind the corner she was in. 

With a heavy sigh she called her dad.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Um. Just about to watch Kuv get her ass beat”.

“Korra, is that how you treat your teammates?”

“Always. It’s all jokes though. She’ll be fine”.

“And.. have you been drinking?”

“Is it that obvious?” Korra groaned softly. “Sorry, dad”.

“So... what did you want to talk about?”

Korra fell silent. She didn’t know how to let her father down easy. 

“Sweetie?”

“Sorry.. um..” she swallowed her tears as best as she could. “I’m.. I won’t be down for the Lights this year”.

“What?! Why?”

“I just.. I can’t.. I’m sorry, dad. Tell mom I’m sorry too. I... I love you guys”.

“Kor-“

Korra ended the call. She couldn’t explain it all. Not now, not to him. Clearing her throat and pushing back the tears, she made her way down the path to the ring. Meeting eyes with Asami, she forced the most genuine smile she could before setting Kuvira’s bag down and sitting near the edge of the ring. 

“What took you so long?”

“I had to call my dad, Bumi”. She felt her voice slip. 

“What’s wrong?”

“No.. we’re not going to talk-“

“I’m not asking as your coach”. Bumi glanced up at Kuvira as the bell rang.

“Speaking as your athlete... I’m done. Kuv can take my place as your big winner. I’m.. going away for a while..”

“Korra! What are you talking about?!”

“Bumi.. please.. don’t yell. I can’t handle that on top of everything else”. Korra closed her eyes tight, wishing the tears wouldn’t burn at the edge of her eyes. “J-just watch the fight..”

Korra sat, watching blankly round after round. Bumi would be talking, Pema stealing concerned glances, Kuvira making sure she was still there when she had the chance. She could also feel Asami’s eyes on her. Chewing on her lip, she willed herself to not turn around, barely managing to continue the act of being okay and being Kuvira’s fighting buddy. 

As Kuvira finally won in the last round by knockout, Korra stood and started heading towards the locker room with her friend’s bag. She needed to be alone for a bit. Her eyes never met Asami’s on her way out. 

“Korra?!” Kuvira’s voice sounded through the locker room a few minutes later. 

She never received a response, so she followed the quiet, broken sobs and sniffles coming from the back. Her words were lost when she saw her friend in the corner, slumped back against the lockers, hands bloody.

“Go... just go”.

“I’m not going anywhere. Are you bleeding?!”

“What the fuck does it matter?! At least I’m still alive, right?! It’s not like you’ll just let me die in peace!” Korra was all but spitting the words at her between heart wrenching cries.

“K-Korra... talk to me”.

“I don’t want to talk. To you or anyone. Just. Go”.

Kuvira dug through her bag Korra had left on the bench, grabbing her phone.

-come talk to your girlfriend-

-is she okay?-

-absolutely not. She’s starting to scare me, Asami. I want to go home and shower but I don’t want to leave her alone-

-locker room?-

-yeah-

“I have Asami coming to get you”.

“Why?! Just so I can get dumped faster?” Korra hugged her knees, laying her forehead on them. “I’m so fucked. I can’t do this anymore, Kuv. I just can’t”.

Kuvira sat on the bench, unwrapping her hands. “Do you want me there when you talk to her?”

“What’s the point? Yeah, we were both drunk. But it’s not a fucking excuse. Regardless, I’m going to end up single. And then probably dead somewhere. I don’t care anymore”.

“Kor-“ Kuvira tensed at the sound of a closing door. “B-back here, Asami!”

Korra barely looked up to the sound of a set of footsteps approaching. She was quite literally backed into a corner. 

“Sweetheart..” Asami knelt down in front of Korra. “What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry,” Korra barely managed to whisper around her tears.

“For what?”

Kuvira stood and grabbed her bag. She didn’t know if she should be here for this.

“I kissed Kuv”. 

Silence fell over the room. Kuvira didn’t move, Asami sat fully on her knees in shock, Korra brought her hands to the back of her head as she cried into her knees. Seconds passed before Asami stood and turned to Kuvira.

“What?!”

Kuvira flinched. “It was me. I... I kissed her. I’m sorry, Asami. I was drunk. And I let her drink too much. And the whole thing with Junior..”

“Fucking damn it, Kuv! If you’re going to say shit, tell her all of it. Tell her how I kissed back! Tell her how we were pretty much making out for a few fucking minutes!” Korra managed to get to her feet through painful sobs. “Tell her how fucking shitty I am and how she deserves better than me. Tell her dating a speck of dirt would be better than someone like me”.

“Korra. Breathe”.

“I don’t want to”.

Asami was too stunned to say anything. Hurt? A little. She was just in complete shock like this was some joke. But her girlfriend saying she didn’t want to breathe told her it was anything but a joke.

“S-so... let me get this right.. you two drank before the match and somehow ended up making out?”

“Pretty much sums it up. I already told my dad I won’t be at the Lights. You’re more than welcome to go. And keep going. Without me. They’re pretty much your family too. I’m sorry”. Korra pushed off the lockers, making her way towards the exit.

“Korra! Get back here!”

“I hope..” she choked on her tears for a moment, “... I hope you find someone worth your love and time. I’m not it, ‘Sami. Not after this. I just.. don’t ever, ever forget how much I loved you”.

“You were drunk. Korra, shit happens. This is what, the first time you’ve ever done that when you were in a relationship?”

“Not an excuse.. I love you”. 

Kuvira quickly blocked her path from leaving the room. “Hey. Don’t do this. Shit happens, okay? We both fucked up. I don’t blame her if she never wants to be my friend again. Hell.. even you”.

“Just... move. Leave me alone”.

“I am not going through nearly losing you again. Let’s.. go home and talk”.

“It won’t be nearly this time. You’ll grieve. You’ll heal. You’ll get someone who isn’t... this”. Korra found enough strength to shove Kuvira out of the way and jog out the door.

“For the record, I do still want to be your friend, Kuv. And we’re going to have a talk at some point. But what the fuck?” Asami took off after her girlfriend, still pushing her tears down.

“I honestly wish I had an answer”. Kuvira dropped her bag back on the bench, following Asami out before jogging next to her. “If this hurts her, I’m sorry.”

“What-“ she watched as Kuvira sprinted ahead down the hall, tackling Korra to the ground. 

Kuvira struggled with Korra for a moment before getting behind her and wrapping her arms around her to secure her arms to her sides. “Hey. Hey. Stop. Korra, stop”. 

Korra eventually stopped struggling against her friend, bringing her knees in and letting herself completely break apart. Asami had witnessed countless nightmares and flashbacks, but the cries coming from her girlfriend in this moment all but shattered her heart. The raw pain coming from the woman in Kuvira’s arms was gut wrenching.

Asami slowly got on her knees in front of Korra, taking her face in her hands gently. “Let’s go home, okay?”

“W-why? So I can just get my shit out? Well, I’m not going to need it. You can just throw it all away or sell it for all I care.”

“No. Spirits, Korra, no. I told you I’m going to fight for you. And if this is a hiccup in our relationship, fine. You fucked up, okay? I want to work through this. Am I hurt? Yes. I am. But I also want to talk about this when you’ve sobered up and calmed back down and figure this out”. Asami tried to wipe the tears off Korra’s cheeks, but could feel her trying to pull away.

“You don’t deserve the hurt, Asami. You... you deserve someone... anyone.. who is going to never hurt you.. so.. just let me go”. Korra’s shoulders shook as she tried to pull from Kuvira’s grasp. “Let me just put an end to everyone’s misery.. please..”

Asami’s eyes met Kuvira’s, tears finally spilling over. Korra was sincere about many things. What absolutely killed her inside was how sincerely she felt like everything wrong was her fault and how sincerely she truly wanted to die in this moment. She wasn’t nearly this bad last time. And that scared Asami that much more.

“Take her to my car, Kuv.. I’m sorry about this..”

“No. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have..” Kuvira stood, never breaking her hold on Korra. “I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t in the right mind set. I wish I could take it all back..”

“What’s done is done. I think the three of us are all hurting. You should go back to Su’s, be with Junior. I know he won’t let you do anything stupid”.

“He went back home”.

“Then go to him”. 

Kuvira nodded, slightly pushing on Korra to get her to walk forward. “What about you two?”

“I’m... going to call Opal when we get home”.

“Cool. Just another person who just won’t let go..” Korra muttered, almost bitterly.

The three managed to get to Asami’s car, Kuvira nearly having to force Korra into the passenger side before closing the door. “Asami.. I can’t express how sorry I am for all of this. I truly can’t”.

“Things happen, Kuv. Yes, I’m upset with you. You knew we’re in a committed relationship and you still kissed her. And she’s just as much at fault for kissing back. But I do love her. And I want to try my hardest to work through this, make her earn my trust back.. she’s never, ever done something like that. Even when she was using and dating Mako”.

“Well.. I feel horrible that I was the one to fuck it up”. Kuvira lightly kicked a stone, there was no doubt she would have to stay with someone tonight. She wanted to use and drink until she forgot everything.

“Kuv, she was clearly not in the right headspace. Something was going on in that mind of hers. Try to have a good night.” 

“Yeah.. you too”. She watched as Asami got into the car before walking back to the building to grab her things and text Baatar Jr.

-I need to stay with you tonight. I fucked up bad. I’m not feeling safe-

-come on over-  
______________

The ride home was in silence, Korra curled up in the passenger seat. Asami helped her out of the car when they returned home, carefully heading upstairs. Dropping her hand, she backed away from Asami and her room. 

“I’ll.. be next door.. goodnight, Asami”. She stood outside the guest bedroom, hand on the doorknob.

“Sweetheart.. please, come to bed”.

“It’s useless. Like me. So.. goodnight”. She opened the door, stepping in before closing it softly. 

Asami bit down on her lip, desperately willing the tears away. She was terrified. All she could think about was her sneaking out and never seeing her again. She decided to call Opal.

“You never call unless something is really bad. What’s going on?”

Asami’s voice finally broke. “Korra.. she’s..”

“Yep. I’ll be right over”.

“I’ll be outside my room”.

Asami ended the call, sinking against her bedroom door. She finally let herself cry, tears of hurt and fear. Before she knew it, Opal was kneeling in front of her and wrapping her arms around her shoulders.

“Where is she, hun?”

“Guest room..” she mumbled against Opal’s shoulder, voice weak with tears.

“Okay.. alright. Do you want me to check on her?”

Asami shook her head. She honestly didn’t know if she actually wanted Opal to check on her or if she wanted to do it herself.

“How bad is this?”

“She... well.. Kuv drunkenly kissed her and she was also drunk and kissed back.. everything’s a mess”.

Opal fell silent in shock. She knew Kuvira had a thing with her brother and couldn’t understand why this situation would happen.

“Wait.. what? Are you serious?”

“I wish I wasn’t. Korra.. she’s beating herself up over it all. Bad”.

“What are you going to do?” She needed to be prepared to support her friend in any way she could, be it fallout from a breakup or helping her work through trying to save the relationship.

“I... I don’t know. I want to stay. I really, really do...” Asami’s voice was weak and shaky.

“But?”

“She’s shutting down, Opal. She won’t talk to me. She’s.. so much worse than that whole Mako incident”.

“And you’re hurt”. She pushed her friend back, holding her shoulders. “She broke your trust. It’s okay to be angry with her. And Kuv for that matter. You didn’t do anything wrong, Asami”.

“She’s never done anything like this. Ever. Not when she was with Mako, not when she was using drugs.. I just.. why?” A new wave of tears crashed over her.

“I wish I could answer that. Get yourself ready for bed. I’ll be there in a moment”. Opal helped her to her feet, waiting for her friend to go into her bedroom before finding herself in front of the guest room.

Calming herself, she opened the door to find Korra laying on the floor. “Korra?”

“Go away,” she whispered, unmoving.

“At least get into the bed. Do you want me to bring Naga to you?”

“No and no. Asami can keep her. Even Naga deserves better than me”.

“Korra.. Asami still wants to be with you. She wants to work through this. She-“

“Doesn’t fucking need me, okay?!” Korra rolled to her back and sat up, giving Opal a heartbroken glare. “So just get out. Go be with her. She needs her friends. I’ll be out in the morning”. 

Opal bit her lip with a sad nod before backing out of the room and closing the door. As the door closed, Korra put her head in her hands, leaning forward. She couldn’t do this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really am so sorry for this. I just... angst. The next chapter or two are likely to also be heavy, fair warning. I’ll get back to happy, smutty chapters soon!


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like.. I really considered doing a large time skip to where things are good again. But we’d have missed so much. So here’s another angsty chapter. I’m also sorry about this one 🥺 it hurt to write, you guys. 
> 
> Tw for mentions of self harm.

Asami hadn’t seen or heard from Korra in days. She knew she was at least still alive and home. Naga would have a bowl of food and fresh water most mornings. If she couldn’t find the dog downstairs, she knew Naga was laying in front of the guest room door.

-you haven’t said anything to me in four days and I haven’t even had a glimpse of you in the same amount of time. Can we please talk?-

Asami knew Korra was ignoring her texts. Her calls. Her knocks on the door. The first time it all happened, the morning after, she truly thought Korra was dead. She had swung door open to find her staring out the window, shoulders hunched and arms folded. Korra said nothing except telling her to leave her alone. She kept the door locked since.

If Korra wasn’t going to talk, she decided on Kuvira the day before. Kuvira had told her everything. From her drinking most of the day, inviting Korra over. Korra’s idea of a drunken spar. The way she had broke through her defense and kissed her. Korra not fighting it, eventually kissing back and nipping at her lip. How the alcohol made the sensation feel too good in the moment to stop it. The way hands wandered over each other as tongues battled, lips trailing necks and shoulders. Kuvira spilled it all.

Asami had been furious, hurt. She cried. Rubbed her face in disbelief. There was a point when she had slapped her. And then she told Kuvira to leave. That she needed time to think about their friendship. 

Now, she was sitting on the floor of the workshop. Asami fiddled with the ring she had made for Korra between her fingers. She looked at the etched engraving inside the band. ‘Broken bits and all’. She let out a shaky breath. Resting her head back against the motorcycle, the tears began to fall. Again. She was hurt. But she still loved Korra with everything she could possibly give. Her phone rang, causing her to jump slightly.

“H-hello?”

“How’s Korra?”

“I... I don’t know, Tonraq. She won’t talk to me. I haven’t even seen her in days”. 

“What happened? She’s been ignoring us too”.

She had no idea what to say. Asami wanted to tell him everything. But also felt this was a private thing between just the two of them.

“Don’t take this the wrong way.. but it’s between us”.

“Are you two fighting?” Tonraq sounded truly upset by even saying it out loud.

“Something like that..”

“I’m so sorry, Asami. If... you need help navigating my daughter, let me know. Take care of yourself too. She’ll come around”.

_I sure hope so. But it’s not looking good.._

“Thank you. I’ll.. talk to you later”.

“Take care”. She heard him end the call and let the phone drop from her ear to her lap.

Asami wrapped her hand around the ring. She hated every part of this situation.  
_______________

Korra sat at the foot of the bed. She had read the texts from Asami, her dad, her mom, Kuvira, Opal. She couldn’t bring herself to respond to anyone. With a sigh, she took another drink from the bottle. No one knew how she would slip out to go to the liquor store every other day for at least a dozen bottles of whatever. And she was completely okay with that.

No one knew how she had broken a bottle in the shower for something sharp. How she would create lines in her skin to feel a little of anything, just to be sure she was somehow still alive. She had managed to take apart a razor head for the blades, hating to admit it felt better than the glass shard. Korra was alone. Just her and her own head. The two were at a constant war and she had no idea how she was even still breathing.

_Asami said I don’t have to fight these wars alone.. but I do. And one of these days.. I’m going to lose._

Korra stood, making her way to the small bathroom. She did her best to clean up any mess she made, but last night she was too drunk to care. Opening the medicine cabinet, she grabbed one of the blades before sitting on the toilet seat. Just as she pressed the blade to her skin, a knock came from the door.

_Why won’t you just leave me alone?_

With a groan she set the blade on the counter next to the sink before going to tell Asami off. She didn’t want to be bothered anymore. She swung the door open, words halted.

“K-Kya? What are you doing here?”

“Checking on you. You’re not answering anyone, Korra. It’s been days. You forfeited your fights. Asami is worried. Your parents are worried. Tenzin and his family are all worried. I’m worried”.

“Well stop. All of you need to just stop concerning yourselves with me. It’s pointless, okay?”

“No. Not it’s not. We care, Korra. We want to help you”.

“Stop caring. And I’m not interested in help anymore. Just go”. Korra closed and locked the door before sitting and leaning against it. She couldn’t stop thinking about why she just couldn’t end it. Every time she wanted to, she pulled back, never even making a cut deep enough that stitches would be needed.

She shot an empty glare at her phone chiming. Again. Korra just wanted to be alone, unbothered, and it seemed no one could understand that. She would leave it ignored. Again.  
__________

Asami briefly talked to Kya before she left. Korra even pushed her away. She was at a complete loss as who to even contact to try to get her to talk. To not hide away. With a sigh, she went back inside and came to a halt at the entry of the kitchen. 

“Hi”.

Korra tensed, quickly pulling the sleeves of her hoodie back down. She had thought Asami left for the day, and her stomach was starting to complain at the lack of food. That was the only reason she left the room and found herself in the kitchen. She didn’t dare turn around.

“H-hi”.

“Korra.. can we talk?”

“What’s there to talk about, Asami?” Her voice was empty. Not a single emotion present.

“Everything. Whatever happened, where... where we stand, your feelings about everything”.

“Simple enough. I basically cheated on you, I don’t know where we stand, and I feel like a complete fucking joke”. Korra grabbed the toast she had made and started back to the stairs, keeping her gaze on the floor as she passed by Asami.

“I do want to fix this, you know”. Asami didn’t stop her physically, but her words seemed to work. For the moment.

“I know you’re an engineer. But trying to fix this problem.. it’s a waste of your time. Asami, I’m a waste of your time”. She started to head up the stairs.

“Sweet- Korra, please. Let’s just talk. I still love you”. 

Korra stopped mid step, barely glancing over her shoulder. “I’ve always loved you, Asami. I just hope you never forget that”.

Asami watched as Korra continued up the stairs, her gaze never moving even as the sound of a door closing reached her. She felt a tear run down her cheek. Hearing her say that she wasn’t sure where they stood punched a hole through her heart. Four days of nothing, and that’s what it all came down to. A big question mark hanging over her head.  
____________

How Asami found herself in the arms of some girl from the bar is a blur. She didn’t do one night stands, yet here she was. In a house that was unfamiliar, lips pressed to her neck, the room filled with soft gasps and heavy breaths. Deep down she knew there would be nothing but regrets in the morning. For now, she didn’t care. 

Asami fisted the woman’s hair as her teeth sank into her shoulder. She couldn’t remember the name exactly. 

_Leigh? Leah? Doesn’t matter. None of this does_.

She felt slim fingers slip into her, setting a slow pace. Rocking her hips to the rhythm, a moan escaped. The alcohol she had consumed definitely didn’t help how good she was feeling in this moment.

_Wonder what Korra’s doing... no. No. She doesn’t want you. She doesn’t want anyone. Let it go._

Arching into the stranger, Asami felt herself on the edge. A few well places hooked fingers pushed her over, moaning into the woman’s mouth as she rode her orgasm.

“There ya go. Let it all go, beautiful. She’s not worth it”.

Asami shuddered at the hot breath on her neck as she felt the fingers slide out of her. 

“D-do you need me to go now?”

“Nah. You can stay the night if you want”. She laid next to Asami, gently playing with a lock of hair. “Sleep well, okay?”

Asami let out a sigh. “Okay”. 

She rolled to her side and felt a blanket draped over her, followed by an arm around her waist. Regrets were going to happen, but for the night she was warm. And that was good enough.  
_____________

Korra poked her head out of the guest room. The house was eerily quiet. Aside from the jingle of Naga’s tags as she came up the stairs, there was nothing. She walked slowly to Asami’s bedroom, taking a breath before knocking. When there was no answer, she opened the door.

“Asami? Do... do you still want to talk?”

She was met with silence in the darkness of the room. Korra turned the light on, seeing the room was empty. It was late, nearly midnight. She would normally be in bed. With a sigh, she turned the light off and closed the door. 

_I definitely don’t blame her for leaving. I wouldn’t want to be in the same building as me either..._

After going back to the guest room, closing the door before Naga could join her, she grabbed her phone and a bottle of gin. Opening the bottle and taking a drink, she decided to dig herself a deeper hole. Not like she was getting out any time soon anyhow.

-wanna come over?-

-Asami doesn’t want me over yet-

-she’s not home. Come on. I’m.. kinda lonely-

-Korra... we can’t-

-we’re both essentially single. And adults. And I’m drunk-

-we really, really shouldn’t. Don’t you want to fix this? You’re not officially single just so you know-

-I’ll just go to the bars then-

-or you could not do that. You’ll get too carried away. I’ll come over. Just.. to keep you company for a little bit-

_What’s wrong with me?_

Korra opened the door, letting Naga in before leaving the room and closing the dog in the room before making her way downstairs. As she waited by the front door, she slowly sipped at the bottle. Hearing a knock a few minutes later she opened the door for Kuvira.

“Do you know how bad of an idea this is, Korra?”

“Yup. It’s terrible”. She grabbed her by the hips after putting the bottle on the floor, pulling her inside before closing the door. “Trust me. She doesn’t really want me anymore”.

“That’s... unlikely. She loves you”.

Korra scoffed, eyes trailing from Kuvira’s lips to her eyes. “Nah. I’d hate me too honestly. I already hate myself, so I’m not really surprised that everyone else does”.

“Korra-“ she was forced to stop talking as her friend backed her against the door, lips pressed to hers. She hated how good Korra was at this.

Kuvira held her face, almost roughly, as she deepened the kiss. She should hate every part of this. She should be helping, not making all of this worse. Yet here she was, moving her hands from Korra’s face, down her neck and chest.

Korra let out a groan, pressing herself into her friend’s touch. She knew she shouldn’t be doing this, but she was desperate to drown her mind for at least a little while. Feeling Kuvira’s hands slide under her shirt, she let out a soft gasp against her mouth. 

“Korra?”

“I’m fine. Shut up”. She resumed the rough and heated kiss. Talking wasn’t something she wanted in this moment.  
________________

Asami was just starting to wake up as she rolled over into the warmth next to her. She felt a soft kiss to her forehead.

“Mornin’. Sleep well?”

“Hmmm... I guess so”.

“Did you want to talk about last night?”

Asami opened her eyes, meeting a deep forest green looking back at her. “N-not really. This.. wasn’t supposed to happen”.

“I kinda figured you’d say that this morning.. speaking from experience though, just let her go”.

“How much did I tell you?” Asami’s head was spinning. She had obviously opened up to this stranger and somehow made her way into the bed she was currently in, the both of them naked.

“That you’ve been with this girl for over a year and a half, completely set on proposing, and then she admitted to nearly fucking another girl. Seriously. Just break it off”.

“I... I can’t. I do still love her”.

The woman let out a sigh. “I know it hurts. Have you two talked about it?”

“Considering I’m in your bed, naked, what do you think?”

“I think you’re hurting. You’re mad at her. This is revenge sex, you-“

“I’m going to stop you right there. I’m not just using you”.

“I never said that. And trust me, I’m completely okay with.. this. We made each other feel good last night. Hookups don’t phase me”.

“Well.. I guess I should probably head home. Thanks.. for last night”. Asami gave a halfhearted smile before getting up, getting dressed, and leaving the stranger’s home.

 _I’m.. allowed to be mad at her. And we’re going to have a talk today, regardless if she wants to or not._  
_____________

Korra woke up on the couch, alone. Trying to get her bearings figured out, she was aware she was somehow naked. She didn’t remember leaving the guest room, let alone removing her clothes. As soon as she sat up, the front door opened.

Asami walked into the living room, Korra’s shirt and pants in hand. “What the fuck?”

Korra pulled the blanket around herself, not at all prepared to see her. “I don’t know?”

“Seriously, Korra?! For someone who is supposedly so busted up over this, you decided to go all the way this time.” She threw the clothes at her, folding her arms.

“I seriously don’t know, okay?” Korra pulled her clothes on. “I just woke up.”

“Who was it?”

“What?!”

“Was it Kuvira?” Asami spat at her.

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Last night, Korra! You haven’t really talked to me for days! I’ve barely even seen you and when I come home, your clothes are by the front door and you wake up naked on the couch. Who the hell did you fuck last night?!” Tears were in her eyes. She hated where this was going more than anything.

“Apparently if I did end up fucking someone, I don’t remember it. And where were you? I wanted to talk to you last night-“

“It doesn’t fucking matter where I was, Korra. You had so many chances to talk to me and you never did. Why now?”

“Maybe because I love you and I want to try to work this out! I wasn’t ready to talk. I needed to think. I fucked up, okay?!”

“You sure did. And you know, you’re right. I do deserve better”. Asami wiped the tears out of her eyes. “I loved you, Korra. I really, truly did”.

“Wh-what?”

“Until... until you prove to me otherwise, I’m done”.

A heavy silence filled the space between them. Korra felt like she couldn’t breathe. Everything inside her shattered. 

“I.. what? I thought.. you wanted to fix this? You told me you wanted to work through this. A-Asami..” she couldn’t fight the tears any longer. 

“I did”.

Korra stood, walking up to Asami. “What c-can I do?”

“Anything to prove you’re actually worth everything you’ve put me through. The drug use, the drinking.. cheating. I can’t keep doing this”.

Korra nodded slowly. “I’ll.. give you space. Naga is upstairs I think. I’m.. I’m sorry. For everything. I.. I love you. D-don’t ever forget that”. Korra grabbed her phone before leaving, not getting any response from Asami.

Asami waited for the sound of the door closing before collapsing to her knees, the cries tearing through her. She absolutely hated this. Maybe Korra hadn’t slept with anyone and she overreacted. But maybe she also held in all of the hurt and anger for far too long. She truly cared what Korra was going to go off and do now, and it scared her. She couldn’t take back what was said.  
_____________

“Korra?”

“H-hi, dad. When can I come home?”

“Whenever you want, you know that. Are you okay?”

“No. If.. if I don’t catch the next flight to you guys.. there’s a good chance the next time you see me will be at my funeral”.

“Korra.. what’s going on?”

She let out a very dark, heavy laugh. “I’m single again. I give up, dad. I really, really do. If I die, I at least want it to be at home”.

“What? I don’t understand. Asami-“

“Fucking dumped me, dad. At least she finally understands she deserves anything and anyone better than me. I fucked up. Big time”.

Tonraq fell silent. He knew what he saw between the two girls. Even he thought this couldn’t be happening. 

“I... Korra?”

“I’ll try to get the next flight I guess. Love you”.

Korra hung up, finally finding a bench to sit on. She was definitely alone now. So many thoughts were running through her mind as she stared across the water of the pond. She wished she would have died all those years ago. She wished she never told Kuvira were she was a few months ago. She wished she could just find it in herself to try again. Most of all, she wished she had even a speck of hope.

-I don’t know if Asami has talked to you yet... but.. you might want to head over. She’s gonna need you, Opal. And everyone else-

-no. She hasn’t. What’s going on?-

-I’ll let her explain. I just need you to make sure she knows she’s loved-

-Korra? What the hell is going on?!-

Korra shook her head, letting the heartbreak hit her. She didn’t care who saw. Except the one person she hated to see. 

“Korra?”

“Go away, Mako. You’re violating the restraining order”.

“And you look like you’re about to do something... stupid. May I sit with you?”

“I am, probably. And no. Just go. Actually.. let’s go to an alley somewhere so you can just beat the shit out of me. I’d really, truly appreciate it right now. I’ll uh.. get your record cleared. Sorry about everything”.

Mako fell silent. He didn’t like the sound in her voice. They may have had big issues between each other, but she was still a person. A person who was teetering on the edge.

“What’s going on?”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m going to be going back home soon. Probably for good. So.. I guess I should thank you for the life lessons. And you’ve always been right. I’m nothing but a drunk junkie with a death wish”. Korra leaned forward, letter her head hang between her shoulders as tears silently fell from her eyes.

“What about Asami?”

“Doesn’t matter anymore. Goodbye, Mako”. She stood up and walked away, no real destination in mind.  
___________

Opal let herself into Asami’s place, finally finding her curled up on the couch. 

“What’s going on?”

“I... broke up with her..”

“You.. what? I thought-“

“Yeah. I did want to try. I’m just so tired of hurting deep down. Between the drugs and drinking and the whole Kuvira situation..”

“Alright.. and this was the best option?”

“I don’t actually know. It just kinda happened. I feel like I made a mistake”. Asami closed her eyes. She wanted to call Korra and talk to her, but she knew it was too late. 

“What’s this?” Opal picked up the ring her friend had made from the edge of the coffee table.

“It.. it was for her.. You can keep it if you want. Or throw it away. I can’t bring myself to do it”.

She looked it over and read the engraving. “Asami..”

“It’s just something I would always say to her. That I loved her, broken bits and all”. Her voice caught and a wave of sobbing took over. 

Opal sat next to her friend, giving her hand a comforting squeeze. “I’ll be here. No matter what happens. How is she going to be able to win you again?”

“In all honesty.. I don’t know”. Asami sat up and wiped her eyes. “I still love her. But I’m so damn mad and hurt”.

“That’s understandable. And you’re allowed to be. You’ve always had problems keeping your emotions buried somewhere inside yourself. Let yourself feel this”. She rubbed her friend’s back gently. All she could do was hope that Korra wasn’t doing anything stupid. 

While Opal was angry with Korra herself, she didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. She knew how happy she made Asami at one point. And all she hoped for was for something good to work out.

“I need to talk to Kuvira”. 

“I thought you already did? I’m sure you made your point with her”.

“No. About last night. When I got home, Korra was naked on the couch and her clothes were by the front door. All I can think of...” Asami’s voice hitched, not willing to continue.

“Oh... do you want me here?”

“Sure”. Asami grabbed her phone off the coffee table.

-come over. Now.-  
___________

Korra sat at the bar, phone in front of her. Part of her wanted to talk to Kuvira, from her texts she knew her friend had come over. She just needed to know what happened after that. The other part of her just wanted to dump the device in a garbage can and let herself disappear. It wasn’t even past noon.

“You know.. if you want someone to listen-“

“I’ve had enough bartenders tell me that. Just.. pour me another”.

“You’ve already had four. How about some water-“

“Did I fucking stutter?!” She just wanted to drink the heartbreak away. Her memory. How bad she fucked everything up.

“One more and you have to leave”. The bartender poured her one last drink as she slammed cash on the bar top.

“Whatever,” she muttered, scrolling through her phone.

-new message: Dad

We got you a flight that leaves tomorrow afternoon. Be safe through the night, Korra. Please-

-okay-

She pulled up Asami’s contact, letting a tear fall as she gripped onto her glass as if it was the only thing in her life left. With a sniffle she changed the name to just ‘ex’ before pocketing the phone and downing the rest of her drink before leaving.

_Time for the next bar._

Walking down the sidewalk, hands in her pockets, and eyes downcast, Korra bumped shoulders with an old friend.

“Korra?”

“Keep walking, Bo”.

“Yo, what’s up with you?” He turned and joined her she continued walking.

“Just go away. I’m sorry for snapping at the whole Mako situation. I’m going back home tomorrow. Take care of Opal, okay?”

“Wha-“ he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk in mild shock.

“Goodbye, Bo”. With that, she turned the corner, ducking into another mostly empty bar.  
__________

“What the fuck happened last night?”

“Korra asked me to come over. She was drunk, okay? I came over to keep her some company”.

“I don’t believe for a second that’s all that happened. Did you sleep with her?” Asami folded her arms, both wanting an explanation and not wanting to hear the answer she was waiting on.

“No”.

“What?”

“No. I didn’t have sex with her, Asami. I’m pretty sure she was blackout drunk and doesn’t remember anything. She tried. I told her no and left. That’s all”.

“What do you mean she tried?” Tears stung at the corners of her eyes. She knew Korra wasn’t the only guilty party of using sex to cope the night before.

Kuvira fell silent for a moment. She didn’t know if the truth would make things better or worse at this point. “Nothing went further than kissing and.. touching. I can promise you that”.

Asami just nodded. “You have feelings for her”.

“Not like that. I have Junior to worry about in terms of feelings like that”.

“So you’re using her to escape that situation?”

“I’m not using her. Keep in mind that she kissed back the first time and then started it this time”. Kuvira was trying to ignore the hard glare Opal has set on her. 

“And yet you didn’t stop anything until things got too heated?”

“I.. she’s.. very good at making someone feel good”.

“You think I don’t know that?! Just.. you need to go”.

Kuvira nodded before whispering, “I’m sorry” before she left.

“So.... at least they didn’t have sex?” 

“Yeah. But I did”. Asami ran a hand through her hair. 

“You.. I’m sorry? I’m not following. You had a hookup?” Opal knew her friend like the back of her hand. Asami didn’t do hookups or one night stands.

“Yeah... I went out to the bar, got drunk, and woke up in some girl’s bed. Not the best idea, I know”.

“Did you tell Korra this?”

“Absolutely not. How do you think she would react? We weren’t exactly broken up... shit”. The weight of her adventure the previous night hit her like a truck. They hadn’t actually broke up until this morning. In that moment, Asami realized what she had done. And she couldn’t take any of this back.

“Asami. Sato. I think you should talk to her. It might not change this situation much, but at least there will be honesty”.

Asami sat against the wall in silence. She couldn’t help but feel she made a huge mistake.

-Korra, can we talk? No fighting. Just.. talk about this?-  
_____________

Korra looked at her phone, a new stab of pain tearing through her. She shook her head before stuffing the phone back in her pocket as she entered the gym. 

“Hello, dear! Are you coming back?”

“No. I actually came to say goodbye. I’m... going home. For good. Thanks for everything you’ve done for me, Pema. I mean it. Take care of the kids. Tell Tenzin I’m sorry”.

“Are you drunk?”

“Yup. You’ve been like my mother since I’ve been in the city. And you’re an amazing mother. Love you, Pema”. Korra turned to head out, trying to not let the woman see the tears in her eyes.

“Korra.. let’s.. let’s have a talk. What’s going on?”

“I don’t want to talk. I just.. need to go. Take care”. Before she could change her mind, she left the gym, ducking into a nearby alley. 

Korra let herself sink against the wall. The few bars within walking distance wouldn’t serve her any more alcohol until she sobered up. The liquor store wouldn’t sell her anything while she was drunk. The only place with more alcohol she hadn’t been to was the club she had met Asami in. She couldn’t do it. 

“Hey, stranger”.

“Go away, Tahno. I don’t... need anything”.

“But you want something?”

“You have no idea”. She rested her head on her knees. 

“I haven’t seen you this drunk before five in a very long time. I’m not going to give you anything. Like I said, I may be a dealer and all, but I do care and would rather not have you overdosing”.

“Thanks for the thought. I’d rather be home when.. if.. I do. Which.. I’m going back tomorrow. So.. it’s been nice knowing you, I guess”. She closed her eyes as a silent tear ran down her cheek. How she even had any tears left, she didn’t quite know.

“Well... take care of yourself down there”. He gave her pat on the shoulder before leaving her alone. She pulled out her phone at the chime.

-new message: ex

I hope you’re not dead somewhere. We really need to talk. Come over, Korra-

“No,” she whispered at her phone instead of responding.  
___________

Asami sat on the back porch, watching Naga galloping around the yard in the sunset. She had managed to convince Opal she would be okay for the rest of the night and decided to at least attempt to play with the dog. Naga didn’t know what was happening, why Korra wasn’t home. Asami decided some play would help ease her own mind.

As she watched, her mind imagined a tan woman with beautiful blue eyes and crooked smile romping around the yard with Naga. When times were better. When Korra was happy and normal. When Asami didn’t feel like there was a gaping hole in her chest. The tears finally fell when the dog came up to her and rested her head on her leg with a whine.

“I... I know, girl. You miss her. I’m trying to get her to come back. Just for you”. Asami gently rubbed her muzzle. “You might just have to settle with me for a little while, though. I’m sorry”.

Naga let out a soft huff before yawning. She let out a whimper, ears perked at Asami’s sudden crying. 

“I’m fine. I’m okay, Naga. I’m..” she let herself slide to the ground with the dog between her legs before sobbing into the fur of her shoulder, “a fucking mess..”

She didn’t know how long she had sat there, face pressed into Naga’s fur. Her phone buzzing startled her. She had also noticed the sun had also sunk further into the horizon. 

-new message: Korra

Just wanted to say sorry. For everything. I’m going home tomorrow. You won’t have to see me ever again. I won’t text or call you after this. I just needed you to know everything. You truly meant everything to me. I’m really, honestly sorry I hurt you so much. You’ve always deserved better. I don’t know how this managed to last as long as it did. I wanted to marry you. Have a family together. But I fucked it all up in one stupid moment. All I can say is I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say or do. Please, take care of yourself, Asami. I truly loved you. Goodbye-

The hole in her heart seemed to somehow grow bigger. Korra never said ‘goodbye’. She would always say ‘see ya later’. Goodbye felt too final. Goodbye always seemed to be a hard end, to never see that person again. That’s the opposite of what Asami wanted. 

“Asami?”

“T-Tonraq. I’m so sorry. Please.. tell me she’s okay”.

Silence from the other side of the phone met her. He knew.

“Never mind.. forget I called. This was stupid”.

“No. It’s not stupid. You’re still.. worried about her. I understand that. She’s just not feeling well. Has she returned home?”

“No. I haven’t heard from her all day. Not until a few minutes ago. She.. sent me some goodbye message. I’m sorry. Just forget about it”.

Asami quickly hung up before he could say anything more. She swallowed hard, taking Naga back inside. 

_Just forget about it. Just forget about... her._

She was numb as she made her way to her bedroom. Pulling out some skinny jeans and a low cut tank top, she got herself changed. The woman in the mirror wasn’t her. It couldn’t be. Asami Sato didn’t do this. After doing her makeup, she pulled on a pair of stilettos and grabbed her keys. Somehow, she ended up at a familiar club.

As she walked in, conversations died down, eyes falling to her. She wasn’t here to dance. She was here to drink. She was here to forget about everything. About Korra. About this whole mess. And it would have worked had she not met eyes with the familiar blues sitting at the bar.

Something about this situation was far too easy to remember. A pair of broken blue eyes at the bar. A want to help the girl. The familiarity of the situation ended there. Blue eyes tore away from green as the girl turned her back, a stab of pain where a crush should have been forming for both of them. Asami watched silently at a distance as Korra downed her drink, putting cash on the bar as she stood. Or tried to. 

Korra was absolutely plastered. She steadied herself against the bar before finally managing to take a step. Her walk was sloppy as she made her way to the door. She knew it was a bad idea to come here.

As Korra passed by without a glance, Asami managed to find her voice. “Korra?”

Korra just kept stumbling forward, bumping into a table or two before finally making it outside. Why Asami went after her, she didn’t know.

“Korra! Stop. Please..”

To Asami’s surprise, she did. She braced herself against the outside of a building with a hand, still never turning around.

“L-look, Korra. I’m sorry. I was mad. I... talked to Kuvira. She told me what happened last night. You two never had sex. Can we actually talk about this before you... leave?”

“I think enough has been said and done. This.. this is goodbye, Asami. Take care of yourself”. Korra’s voice was slurred and dark. 

“I... I slept with someone else last night. That’s why.. I wasn’t home”. Asami was fighting the tears as best as she could. She wanted to run up and hug Korra. She wanted them to cry it out together and talk in the morning. 

Korra was silent for a breath. “Okay”.

“That’s it? Just.. okay?”

“Do you want me pissed off about it or something? None of it matters now”. She swallowed hard, not fighting the silent tears, not turning around. “You can just get rid of all of my things. Give Naga back to Kya if you don’t want to keep her”.

“Korra.. no. Please. Can we at least try to talk?”

“No point. All I’ve done is hurt you and ruin this. I’m not putting you through it anymore. You’ll.. be okay. I truly hope you find happiness soon. You deserve the world. Goodbye, Asami”. Korra resumed her stumble forward, occasionally using sides of buildings for support. 

Asami watched her stumble away, tears dripping from her chin. Korra had said ‘goodbye’ twice. And it truly felt like everything in this moment was final. She would never see her again. She would never know if Korra was getting better or dead. All she could hope for is that her parents would be willing to stay in contact. And hope this wasn’t a final, true goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so ready to write happy times for our girls. But... I know I shouldn’t time skip TOO FAR. I won’t try to drag the angst out for too much longer


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grief is more than only when someone passes away, and it’s always a process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is full of time lapses, showing different phases of grieving. I really hope it’s not too confusing. There was a point where I thought about doing a separate chapter for each stage, but I personally felt the story would have started to putter out after a bit. I might consider a filler work to fill in some more details and whatnot once the main story is done. Totally haven’t decided on that.

The more she thought, the angrier she became. Asami had brought Korra to sobriety. She had dealt with the mood swings of withdrawal, stayed awake with her after nightmares, brought her back to reality when any flashbacks crept up. And yet, in one fucked up moment, none of it mattered. Kuvira kissed her and she didn’t back away. She didn’t know why. She still wanted an explanation for that one moment. 

There was little denial of the situation left inside her. It happened. And now, she was flat out angry. She wished Korra was still in town, almost wanting her to feel the same pain she had gone through. Almost. In reality, she didn’t know what she would do to her. At this moment, Asami wouldn’t mind giving her a hard slap back to reality. Right across that amazing face of hers. 

“Miss Sato?”

“Sorry. What were you saying?”

“The deal with the South. They are requesting an extended power grid to the outlying villages. Chief Tonraq had sent documents. I’m assuming you have read them, correct?”

_Not even a glance._

“Of course. I’m still giving it some thought on how to extend the grid to even be able to reach the outlying villages. And then there’s the debate of above ground power lines or try to bury them under the snow and ice. If you recall, we had to dig deep and do some major insulation work so they could have running water. My father left detailed documents”.

Asami quickly wrote down some notes.

_Read the stupid documents, tell Tonraq it’s a no deal, try to call Korra. Again. Leave a voicemail if needed, chewing her out. I can’t believe she could do this to me. After everything. Fuck you._

“I appreciate the meeting, Miss Sato. I hope we can reach an agreement soon. I’ll let you get back to work”.

She shook his hand, watching him leave her office. As the door came to a full close, she threw her empty mug at the wall before putting her head in her hands. Maybe it was a very good thing her now ex left two months ago. 

“I hate you,” she muttered as a tear dropped to her notepad. Whenever she started crying again, she didn’t even notice.

“Ma’am, you have a call on line one”.

Pressing the button and picking up the phone, Asami forced the anger out of her voice.

“Miss Sato speaking”.

“Professional as always. You need to take a break from work at some point. It’s not healthy. Come out with Bo and I tonight”.

“Opal, I can’t. I have things I need to take care of”.

_Like stopping myself from catching the next flight to the South and laying into my stupid ex._

“Asami, work can wait. Take a breather”.

“I appreciate the concern, but I’m fine. I shouldn’t have drinks when I’m like.. this”.

“And what is this exactly?”

“Raw anger towards a certain someone. I could just slap that charming smile off her face if she was still here. After everything I’ve done for her, this is how she thanks me? It’s absolute bullshit”. She knew she was starting to raise her voice and could almost feel Opal flinch on the other side of the phone. “I gotta go”.

“Asami, wai-“

She returned the phone to the receiver with a slam. Blinking with a furrowed brow, she didn’t mean for that to happen. 

Her gaze wandered to a picture frame on her desk. Two months. She had done this every day she worked. Stare at the picture of them; Korra’s genuine lopsided smile and light in her eyes, her own smile as she looked to her then girlfriend, eyes full of love for the woman. And for what felt like the hundredth time, she put the frame face don on her desk. 

“I hate that I miss you, Korra. I hate that you put me through everything you did. I hate that I love you,” she whispered to the empty room. “What the fuck happened?”  
_______________

Korra sat on the edge of her bed. Two months of the same thing. Wake up, stare at the ceiling, slide a bottle of whatever from under her bed and drink, maybe eat at some point during the day. She tried to get her parents to believe she was okay now. It had been two months, after all. A knock came from her door.

“I don’t want to talk”.

“Sweetie, you’re still not doing well. Please, can I come in?”

“Sure, mom”. She barely looked to Senna as she stepped into the room, closing the door behind her.

“Could you please talk to us? I know this isn’t easy, you’re hurting. Healing from heartbreak takes time”. She spoke softly as she joined her daughter on the edge of the bed. 

“Mom, I’m the one who messed it all up. As usual. I deserve every bit of this pain. I just don’t know if I can handle it. I fucking cheated on the most amazing woman. I just.. I want everything to stop”.

Senna placed a hand to Korra’s back. The light in her eyes was gone. She felt like she had lost her daughter again. A dark part of her knew she was only forcing herself to stay alive to feel the pain she was going through, the same pain she felt she had given to Asami time after time.

“Korra... sometimes things happen. Yes, you messed up. And Asami has every right to feel what she’s feeling. Accept that you hurt her, sweetie. If you want her back, you’re going to have to fight for her. And fight hard. Words are empty in a situation like this. If... you still love her, you have to show her”.

“How am I supposed to show her when I can’t even stop despising myself?”

“Tell me something. The first incident with your friend, why did you not push her away?”

Korra gripped the edge of the bed. She tried to not think about it. She wanted it to not exist.

“I-I was drunk. It’s not any sort of excuse. We were sparring and I had my eyes closed while blocking my face.. th-the way she ended up pinning reminded me of Asami. Everything that happened.. I thought.. until Kuvira spoke...” Korra brought her hands to her face. She had run out of tears, so now it was only frustration.

“You’re right, alcohol isn’t an excuse for what you did. But also realize that it was Kuvira who initiated the situation, not you”.

“I technically did. I asked her to spar before her fight”.

“And there was nothing wrong with that, Korra. That’s normal for you and your career. You... didn’t initiate this”. Senna pulled her into a hug, kissing the side of her head. “Don’t forget your father and I are here for you. Please, talk to us. We love you”.

“I love you too, mom,” she whispered softly, voice full of sorrow.

Senna stood and stepped in front of her daughter, taking her face in her hands gently. “Don’t forget about the start of the Lights tonight. The elders made you new robes. They’re in your closet”. She gave Korra a kiss to the forehead before departing her room.

“I don’t want to go..” All of her plans for the festival came flooding back to her mind, tearing open a new wound deep in her chest. She knew her mother didn’t hear her, but it was true. She didn’t want to go. Not anymore.  
______________

Asami tried. She tried so hard to find someone, anyone to fill a void she was furious about. Asami Sato didn’t do hookups. Yet somehow, she kept finding herself in someone else’s bed a few nights a week lately. She just told herself that it was revenge sex, angry sex, anything to convince herself this was temporary. 

She avoided people that even remotely resembled her ex. Men, women, she tried both. And the more she tried, the angrier she got. She was mad at herself for doing the things she thought she never would. She was furious Korra made her like this. And yet, this night, she slipped up.

Asami wasn’t thinking, the alcohol in her system severely decreasing her inhibitions. She had walked up to a tan woman who had been sitting at the bar. She was slightly fairer complected than Korra, her eyes a darker blue. The stranger wasn’t nearly as short as Korra was, closer to Asami’s height. Maybe a touch taller even. She wasn’t nearly as muscular either and had longer hair.

Asami had made small talk. Eventually more drinks were had. One dance led to another, which led to another, which led to everything moving to the backseat of her car. That led to her driving this stranger back to her house, mostly unclothed and likely in a situation where she most definitely shouldn’t have been driving.

The pair barely made it inside before the rest of their clothing was removed. Asami brushed Naga away with her foot as her lips were preoccupied, locked with the other woman’s. She had picked Asami up, stumbling around until she found the stairs.

“End of the hall. Left side”.

The woman groaned at the loss of lips on hers, but took Asami’s directions. She quickly ascended the stairs, just as quickly putting Asami back on her feet by her room and rejoining lips. Soon enough Asami’s room was filled with gasps and moans. Soft cries of pleasure as they found the right spots of each other.

And that’s how Asami now found herself staring into a different set of blue eyes. Similar, yet still so different from the woman who once had her heart. As the stranger gave a smile, she felt her chest clench. It wasn’t a familiar lopsided grin. Asami was furious that she still couldn’t shake Korra from her mind. 

She pressed her lips to the strangers before whispering, “you need to go. I’ll call you a cab”.

“Oh, so this is an affair?”

“No. I’m single. I just don’t like strangers waking up in my bed. I hope you enjoyed yourself”.

“I’d love to do it again. If you don’t mind”. She ran her fingers lightly down Asami’s stomach.

“I don’t see a real problem with.. one more time before you go”. Asami closed the distance between them, completely letting the alcohol take control to quiet the boiling rage underneath.  
___________

This festival was nothing like the previous year. She had no one besides her father sitting next to her. Tonraq had called for the feast to begin, but all she could do was just stare ahead blankly at the doors to the dining hall. 

“Please, try to eat something”.

“I’m.. not hungry. I just want to go home”.

Tonraq placed his hand on his daughter’s shoulder. He knew she was hurting. And he was hurting for her. Sure, he’s seen her heartbroken over breakups when she was younger, but this was so much different. He would know that look on anyone. The look of grief. The look of loss. It just hurt that much more seeing that look on his only child. 

“Would you like me to sit with you under the Lights tonight?”

“No, dad. You.. have your own thing you do. Thanks though. I just.. I don’t even want to talk to anyone up there tonight”.

“You’re grieving”.

“What?”

“Korra, grief is a process. It’s not linear, but there are stages. And with your... mental health, you may be in the stages longer than most-“

“How am I grieving? I’m just broken-hearted over a breakup. It’s to be expected”. 

“Can we talk tomorrow? Just the two of us”.

“Yeah.. sure”. Korra stared at the wine in her glass, slightly confused by how much she didn’t even want it.

After the dinner was finished, she found herself walking through the streets. A few of the children came up to give their chief a hug and she obliged them. Her eyes eventually landed on skeeball and with a sigh, she gently shooed the kids back to their parents before continuing her wandering of the festival.

“Chief! Wanna play?”

“N-not really. I was actually just about to go speak with my loved ones in the stars”. Korra just didn’t want more memories of the previous year when she was happy and in love.

“One game. C’mon. You’re one of the best this tribe has!”

_Not nearly as good as... her._

“Fine. One game”.   
~~~~~~~~

“Now you’re just cheating!”

“Sweetheart, it’s just a game of physics”. Asami gave Korra’s cheek a kiss. “It’s not that hard”.

“Physics? Really? Ugh! Why do you have to be so smart sometimes?” She shot her girlfriend a pout. She was the best player in the tribe. And now her girlfriend from the city just destroyed her high score because of physics and knowing too much about the stuff.

“Okay, okay. We can play another round. I’ll let you win”.

“Now that you say you’ll let me win, it ruins the fun of me actually winning. But.. I’ll take you up on another round”. 

Another round quickly turned into several more. There were playful shoves, Korra bumping into Asami just before she let go of the ball, Asami helping Korra with her aim and power behind the ball, smiles, laughter....  
~~~~~~~~

Korra stared at the ball in her hand. All she could hear was her ex’s laugh. She couldn’t do this. She dropped the ball on the ramp, tears threatening.

“I’m sorry.. I really do need to get going. Chief stuff to do, loved ones to talk to”. 

Korra pulled her robe tighter as she hurried away.

-Hey Opal. I know you probably don’t want to hear from me, but I need you to see if Kuvira still has something I left with her-

-do you want me to tell Asami you’re still alive?-

-I’ll leave that up to you I guess.. but I’m being serious. Just ask her if she still has the stone pendant. She’ll know what it means. If she does still have it.. I want you to take it and do whatever you want with it-

-um okay? What’s so important about it?-

-long story short, my tribe uses hand carved stones and handmade necklaces to... propose. I only made it partially through the design before all of this... so.. yeah-

-Korra... what are you saying?-

-I was going to. But then.. you know-

-do you want me to send it to you?-

-sure. Thanks-

Korra found herself at the cliffs. She had always found being in this spot peaceful, more so during the Lights. The only difference being she had never been so close to the edge. Looking down, she watched the water lap at the stones at the bottom as the Southern Lights danced overhead.

 _It would just be so easy._  
_____________

“Korra contacted me a few days ago”.

Asami’s pencil fell from her hand as Opal spoke, halting her design plans. Korra hadn’t contacted anyone since she left. She was at least okay with hearing her ex was still alive. The rest reignited the anger she had managed to push down and ignore.

“And what the fuck did she even want? For you to tell me how ‘sorry’ she is?”

“N-no. She.. actually needed me to get something from Kuvira”.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me! All of the shit she left behind and all she could care about is something Kuvira had?!” Asami slammed her fist into her desk, almost regretting it as pain shot through her knuckles.

“I guess.. it was something for you at one point. She told me to take it and do whatever I wanted with it. So.. I wanted to show you before I sent it down to her”. Opal reached into her pocket, wrapping her fingers around the stone and waiting for her friend’s answer.

“Fine”. Asami was livid, her answer was cut and to the point. Whatever it was, it was small enough to fit into a pocket so she held her hand open.

Her friend placed the small stone into her hand and she closed her fist around it. Taking a deep breath, Asami opened her hand. She wasn’t completely ready for the kick in the gut that happened as she looked over the piece of stone. That particular late morning came flooding back. The time together in the workshop, the protectiveness of Korra over whatever she had been working on. And it all came down to this. 

Asami noticed it wasn’t finished. Her eyes trailed over the waves of her tribal crest. She wasn’t sure how it was meant for her. The crest wasn’t hers. As she rubbed her thumb over the face of the stone, she could barely feel rough etching. The faint lines she could only somewhat feel were impossible to make out. It only gave away that there was something more than just her ex’s crest.

“Do... you know what it is?”

“Not entirely. It’s something she was working on before...” Asami trailed off as the rest of that day came to the front of her mind. 

“Right..”

Asami dropped the stone to the top of her desk. “Fuck. Her”.

Opal quickly took the stone back. “I’m sorry, Asami. I didn’t know..”

“How could she do that to me?! She tells me she’s making something ‘special’ for me and I didn’t get to know the details about anything until the Lights. And then she goes and does all of that with fucking Kuvira?! Fuck her”.

Opal winced slightly. Even the breakup with Mako wasn’t this bad. Sure, she was upset about it. She had cried. A lot. But this was new. Not only did Asami have some breakdowns over this, she was absolutely infuriated. Another big change since all of this is the amount of casual sex she was having. Opal knew that wasn’t truly her friend. 

“Asami..”

“What?!”

“I think.. you might possibly be grieving?”

“Bullshit. I don’t even think I would grieve over her if she was dead at this point”.

“You don’t mean that.. Asami, as your friend, I really think you should talk to someone about this”.

“I do mean it. It’s getting late. I’m going to bed. Take Naga with you”. Asami stood, leaving her home office for her bedroom, slamming the doors behind her.

Against her better judgement, she called Korra. And waited. And waited. Until it finally went to voicemail.

“Fuck you, Korra. After everything and running away, you decide to contact Opal? You... you’ve had so many people worried that you were dead. Not a single word to anyone for over two fucking months and then just decide to contact my best friend? What the actual fuck is wrong with you? And damn it all, Korra, I fucking hate you. Just stay down there. I never, ever want to see you again. I hate that I love you”.

As she ended the call, the last sentence played back in her mind.

 _Do I really still love her? How?! And why?!_  
____________

Senna knocked on Korra’s door. “You have some mail”.

Rolling out of bed, she stumbled to the door. Asami’s voicemail from a few days ago sent her back what felt like a million steps. She had started using drugs again, being drunk during the time she was awake, and hiding herself behind a locked door. Asami hated her, never wanted to see her again. So it was back to square one, like they had never met.

“Thanks, mom”. She took the mail and went to close the door when Senna stopped it from closing. 

“What did the three of us talk about, Korra?”

“That it’ll get better or something like that. I doubt-“

“You have to stop hiding away. And don’t for a second think that I’m oblivious to what you’ve been doing in here”.

Korra flinched. Her mother actually knew about it all. The drugs, the alcohol she would sneak. “Mom.. I’m an adult. If I want to destroy my life further, I’m allowed to. I have no friends. I gave up fighting, again. Whatever I do in my room is to help me feel something, to even feel a little normal”.

“You may be an adult, but you’re still my daughter. My only child. I don’t want to lose you. A parent should never have to bury their own child, especially because of suicide. I know you’re hurting deeply, Korra. I know this. Your mental health has been a battle your whole life, only made worse and apparent after Zaheer tried to kill you”.

“Mom-“

“You need help, sweetie. This.. the drugs, the drinking day in and day out, the self harm, the hiding away from everyone.. it has to stop. I don’t want to lose you”.

Korra fell silent, working her jaw. Senna was right, of course. If she continues down this path, she would be dead by her own hands sooner rather than later.

“And if you ever want the chance to fix things with Asami, you have to stop.. this. You can’t even start to fix things with her if you don't at least try to fix yourself first. She really did love you, Korra. Anyone could see it in her eyes. And I know you loved her”.

“I.. I still love her, mom,” she spoke softly, hardly above a whisper.

Senna didn’t have to see her daughter’s face to know she was crying. She approached Korra, wrapping her arms around around her tightly.

“I know you do. And that’s why this is hurting you so bad. You know you messed this all up. You know what you did was so incredibly wrong. I am disappointed with you for that. Your father and I raised you better”.

Korra turned in Senna’s arms, finally allowing herself to fall apart in front of anyone. Finally allowing herself to be held and comforted. Maybe, just maybe, she let herself accept she needed real help. Even if she felt her chances with Asami were long gone, at least she could possibly be better for someone.  
_____________

-Korra.. come back-

Asami set her phone on the pillow next to her. The anger had faded over the past few months. The more she thought about it, the more she accepted Opal was right. She was grieving. First there was the shock, then the denial, and then the pure anger. She knew the next phase of this was going to be painful and long. It happened when her mother passed and again when her father was put in prison. 

All she wanted was for Korra to come back to her. To talk. To try to do something to actually heal from this. She didn’t want to fight anymore. She didn’t want to be angry. Really, she wanted all of this to be some hellish nightmare. 

It had been nearly seven months since Korra went home. Seven months of no one hearing anything, save for Opal that one time. Asami had finally taken what she could emotionally handle of Korra’s things and tucked them into the guest room. She was able to get most of it, just not her coat or the formal robes she had left behind. For some reason, she let the items lay on the bed next to her for the past several days.

“Asami?”

“Um.. hi, Senna. How... how are things down there?”

“Seems like the usual happenings. Korra’s... doing okay. I’m guessing that’s why you’ve called?”

“No one here has heard from her since she flew down. I thought she’d have answered someone by now. Has... has she said anything about wanting to come back?”

“No. But.. she did crack a smile this week. There’s progress, Asami. The three of us had a very long talk about some things and so far, for the past month or so, she’s finally showing an effort”.

“Senna? Honestly, do you think she regrets what she’s done?”

“I do. There are days when she’ll fall apart. She completely blames herself for all of this. I’ve had many, many talks with her”.

She could barely hear Korra yelling in the background. She was able to catch an “ouch!”, “dad!”, and “this is not what I meant when I said I wanted to spar!”

“You.. should probably go make sure they’re not killing each other, Senna. Thank you”.

Asami ended the call, a broken smile at her lips. Korra was still alive. And from what she could hear, she didn’t sound nearly as dark. She hated to admit to herself that for a fleeting moment she was bitter. Bitter that it wasn’t her forcing Korra to get better. Bitter that Korra seemed fine and still refused to reach out to anyone in the city. 

_Does she just not care about me anymore? About anyone here? If she ever does come back, will I even know?_

Dragging herself out of bed, she slowly made her way downstairs and to the kitchen. 

“Finally decide to get up?”

“What are you doing here, Opal? It’s early”.

“It’s just past one. It’s incredibly late for you. And I’m making you food because I know better. You’ve been drowning yourself in work, alcohol, and sex for months. Believe it or not, you need to eat”.

“I... haven’t slept with anyone in over a month or so now. I-I can’t. And I’m not hungry”.

Opal turned to face her friend, arms folded. “It’s almost been a year, hun. I hate to say it but... I really think she did mean it when she said goodbye. You’re going to have to move on at some point. Please don’t make this another Mako situation where you don’t date for over five years”.

“I dated people after him. They just... didn’t last long. Usually between one and three months. You know this”.

“And then you didn’t date a single person for over a year until you met Korra. Asami, you’re allowed to move on. You’re allowed to find love again. You can take your time and whatever, but while you do that, you need to take care of yourself and find some better coping strategies”.

Asami shot her friend a glare. She had thought she was coping just fine. Work was to keep her mind off of everything, the alcohol to take the edge off, and the sex had happened to attempt to fill a void. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Listen, you’ve been pulling away from everyone. You’re isolating yourself again. I hate seeing you like this. You need to talk to someone. You know I’ll always be here to listen”.

Leaning against the island, she let out a huff of air. “I miss her”.

“I thought you hated her?”

“I thought so too. I... called Senna”.

“Okay, and?”

“I guess she’s doing okay. I could hear her in the background. She sounded almost.. normal”. Asami worked her jaw for a moment, fighting tears. She hated how much she missed Korra now. Hated that she still had feelings for her after all this time and everything she had put her through. 

_Why can’t I just let you go? I’d sell the company to have you back._

Bargaining. Asami knew she was bargaining with the universe now, teetering on the edge of depression. She couldn’t help but ask some higher power why it couldn’t have been her. Why it wasn’t her who was on the drugs, why it wasn’t her who ran away, what she had to do to get Korra back. She was willing to do just about anything at this point. 

Grief. Asami knew if was just the grief of loss affecting her. She couldn’t possibly have Korra back. She was doing okay without her. And she wondered how that could possibly be right.  
______________

Another year of the Southern Lights came around. To everyone around her, she seemed to be doing much better since the previous year. The reality being she only got better at hiding her self destructive coping habits. The self harm moved to her thighs and hips, places that were easily hid with clothing. Her parents had assumed she had started dating again, in reality she was going out to get high and have sex. 

As the sky danced with color overhead, she stood at the edge of the cliffs at her normal spot this time of year. Korra looked over the edge, watching the water below. She absolutely hated herself for everything. For destroying her relationship. For having her parents have to see her so upset for so long and so often. She hated how they actually saw her happy again, only to crash harder than ever before. 

Korra pulled the stone from her pocket and stared at for a few moments. Asami had texted her periodically over the past year. Some messages cussing her out and saying how much she despised her. Some expressing guilt. Some asking her to return to the city. The one promise she hated to keep was eating her alive. She had told Asami that she would never have to hear from or see her again. That this was goodbye. And she meant it. 

She wanted to respond to the texts, answer the rare phone calls. But she had made a promise. A promise that she absolutely hated herself for making.

_Why didn’t I beg for forgiveness? Why didn’t I just talk with her about what happened? She wanted to talk and I just.. closed in on myself. Spirits I’m such a fucking idiot. All of this could have been avoided._

Korra closed her fist around the stone. If she even had a sliver of a chance and things got serious between them again, if they fell in love again, she couldn’t use this stone. It had far too much damage connected to it, so much heartbreak. 

“I’m so sorry, Asami. I’m so sorry for not doing anything but run away. I’m sorry I fucked everything up,” she whispered before throwing the stone as hard and as far as she could over the edge of the cliff. 

She sat, letting her legs hang over the edge as she stared up at the light show over head.

“Spirits, if there is any hope left for me, I need a sign of it. And if not, give me the strength to just jump so I can join you.” Korra had let the tears spill over deciding there was no point in trying to fight it. 

She closed her eyes, waiting for something. After a few minutes she slowly got to her feet. Before she made her final decision, her phone rang. She didn’t even check the caller ID, assuming it was either her mom or dad asking if she was going to be home. 

“Yeah?”

“Y-you answered?”

Korra fell completely silent, not even breathing. She wasn’t expecting Asami’s voice to come through the phone.

“Korra?”

“I.. yeah. Sorry. I thought it was my dad. I’ll.. go. Again, sorry. Goodbye”.

Before she could end the call, she could hear Asami shout, “no! Korra, wait!”

She tried to keep her voice level as she forced herself to respond. “You can call back and leave a voicemail again. I didn’t mean to answer. I told you that you wouldn’t hear from me again. I’m.. sorry”.

“Would you just shut up and listen to me? I don’t want that. I would like to at least try to be a friend to you. It’s been over a year. Things happened between us. We were so in love and we both made mistakes. I’ve come to accept that. I accept that this.. mess happened. I do still care about you”.

“Asami.. this mess happened because of me. I hate myself so much for it. I hate that I just ran away. But... I can’t come back. Don’t force yourself to be my friend after everything that happened, okay? As much as I’d like that, it’s not worth putting yourself through more heartbreak”.

“I’ve.. grieved you, Korra. I made peace with the situation. I did things I’m not proud of. I had my ups and downs. You... I thought you were okay?”

“What?”

“I’ve been talking to your mom on occasion. Sometimes while we talk, I can just barely hear you in the background. You sounded.. better”.

“I have my days. Plus... I’ve gotten good at hiding the guilt and hate I have towards myself for everything I put you through, Asami”.

“I wish.. you would have stayed”.

“Why?”

It was Asami who fell silent this time. She truly didn’t have a right answer for a question that seemed so simple. 

“Well.. it was nice to have a conversation instead of just hearing from you over voicemails. Take care of yourself”.

“Hold on”.

“Asami.. I have to go. Maybe another time”.

_I miss you too._

Korra ended the call before it could continue any longer. Asami needed to move on.

“Okay, that’s not what I meant when I said I wanted a sign!” She shouted up at the sky, tears running down her cheeks. “What am I supposed to do now? Admit myself somewhere?”

Her eyes watched as a shooting star traveled the sky. 

“Right. Of course. Why did I even ask?”  
_________

Asami would occasionally text Korra, not exactly receiving much of a conversation in response. It would be a few words. ‘I’m okay’, ‘dad has me taking more responsibility as chief now’, ‘can’t talk right now’.

As for herself, she was feeling mostly normal again. There was still an ache where she felt her heart should be, but it was dull. She had finally accepted the power grid request the South had sent a year and a half ago. 

Asami closed her book, setting it on the nightstand. She still missed her ex, but couldn’t decide if she missed the love they had or if she just missed her friendship. 

-I’m having a rough night. Want to talk?-

-me too. But not really. Don’t wanna say something I can’t take back-

-Korra.. have you been drinking?-

-yeah. Sorry. It’s probably not a good idea to talk right now-

All Asami wanted was to voice that Korra had a chance to make this right. There was a chance for her to regain her trust. That there was a chance they could get back together. But she wanted that to be a conversation for when they were sober, not a drop of alcohol in either of them.

As weeks passed, Asami had started hearing progressively less from Korra. Rarely a text back, and when those times happened it wasn’t much more than a word or two. She tried to keep herself busy, not to worry about her ex’s new sudden pulling away. Finishing up the work on her motorcycle proved worth it, until she noticed Senna was calling her.

“Hello, Senna. Is everything okay?”

“Did Korra say anything to you?” Asami could hear the tears in her voice.

“About what? What happened?” Her heart sank. She should have known.

“I don’t know if she actually tried to kill herself again or not, but she called an ambulance for herself. We found a note. All it said was, ‘it’s about time I get the help I’ve needed for so long. Love you guys’. Asami...”

“Senna. Um.. were you not home?”

“No. This is what we came home to. I really hoped she would have said something to you”.

Asami took a deep shaky breath. She may have not seen Korra in almost two years, but she still had a good idea of how her brain could work sometimes and a smile came to her face. “She’s getting help. Senna, she’s putting herself in the hospital”.

“But.. what if..”

“Korra wouldn’t have called anyone if she attempted again. She would have just done it. She’s making herself get.. better”.

A part of Asami hated herself for smiling that Korra was going to be in the hospital for a while. But the other part of her felt a spark of hope. She was finally, after all of these years, getting the help she desperately needed. 

Asami had felt the denial of everything that happened, the raw anger. She bargained with herself that if she slept around Korra would come home. She had finally let herself feel the sadness and depression of a major heartbreak. It may have taken nearly two years, but she had accepted the things that happened and that Korra would probably never come back to the city. And she was going to be okay. Her life seemed like it was back to normal, back to before stunning blue eyes caught her attention. 

Somewhere deep inside of herself, Asami knew this wasn’t the end of the two of them. It was just buried too far down to even consider it. So she wouldn’t. Not yet.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami wants to try a friendship, but some feelings bubble up. Her and Korra finally talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed something filled with less dark angst for the moment. And some hope for our girls

Asami didn’t pay much mind to the news, but she had woken up before her morning alarm and decided to relax with some coffee before work. As the man in the TV continued on some of the major headlines, she was drawing up some floor plans for a new construction downtown. Tonraq had reached out to her about a cultural center for the Southern Tribe. All she could do in this moment was draw up some plans and hope the mayor would approve something and secure land to build.

Everything came to a grinding halt at the newsman’s words. Her gaze immediately shot to the TV.

“When being a tribal chief isn’t enough, why not throw a few punches in the ring? The Avatar has returned to the fighting scene, just not for us this time. Instead of fighting for our own Fire Ferrets, she’s now fighting for her team from the South, the Water Warriors...”

_She’s fighting again? Wait. She’s out of the hospital?! She never told anyone. Her parents never called. Was she really trying to let this slip by as an extended psychiatric stay?_

Asami didn’t know what to think. Senna had said it was only going to be for about a month. And then it became two. Then four. She couldn’t help the stab of hurt. Korra had clearly been out of the hospital for a bit, even just seeing her on the screen she looked healthy. And dare she even say happy.

“... this fight is going to be huge. Two hard hitters going head to head. Not to mention, they used to be fight partners. This is going to be one mess of a fight, everyone. The bell will ring in two weeks, 8pm sharp. Be prepared”.

Before she turned the TV off, she saw the photo of the fight card, Korra on one side and Kuvira on the other. She let herself look at those damned blue eyes and then down her figure. And she cursed herself for thinking just how good she looked, especially with such a confident pose for the camera. 

Without much thought, she pulled up her phone and bought a ticket. This would be the first time in almost two and a half long years Asami would see Korra in person. For all she knew, it was possible that she was already back in the city or would be in the coming days. 

With a sigh of frustration over her mindless purchase, she set her drawings on the coffee table before getting up and getting herself ready for work. Opening her closet, her eyes found Korra’s old chieftain robes and coat and her jaw set.

_And yet.. I still can’t find myself able to get rid of them. Why? Just.. why, Korra?_

Asami grabbed a blazer and gave Korra’s things a final glance.

_The coat pocket.. no. Don’t. But.. what if.._

She stuck her hand into the pocket and pulled out a small bag. Calming herself, she dumped the contents onto the top of her dresser. A gasp left her mouth upon seeing a couple metal clasps, a small ring of metal, and a dark blue leather strip. Everything hit her. The stone Opal had shown her, the material in front of her, seeing similar looking items put together and around the necks of engaged or married women of the Southern Tribe.

“Korra... damn it..” she breathed in near disbelief.

Asami pulled on her blazer and gave the piece of leather a slight touch. Korra definitely wanted to propose, there was no denying it. Now Asami just wanted an explanation, no matter how stupid, of everything. Why, that if she was this set on a proposal, she kissed Kuvira back. Why she refused to talk about it and did it again. And why she just ran away. That is, if Korra even wanted to talk to her again.

-I know you’re not in the hospital anymore. I don’t know why your mom didn’t tell me when you were out. Don’t ignore this. When are you going to be here?-

Figuring she wouldn’t get a response for a while, if at all, Asami gathered her things and headed off to work. While she drove she gave Opal a quick call.

“Why am I such an idiot?”

“What did you do? Please don’t tell me that dude got you pregnant before you dumped him..”

“What?! No! That.. stone. How did I not realize what it was? What it meant? She was going to fucking propose!”

“My guess is that you were too blinded by your anger for that brain of yours to work properly. Why are you bringing this up now exactly?”

“Okay, so I may have made more than one mistake already this morning. First, I bought a ticket to the fight-“

“Are you being serious? You bought a ticket to the fight between your ex girlfriend and someone you are only somewhat friends with?”

“Yeah. I did. It’s stupid, I know. But.. what if this is the one chance I get to try to get an explanation from her? Or to even have a real conversation with her again”.

“Okay. I’ll go with you. And your other supposed stupid decision?” 

“And...” Asami sighed as she pulled into her parking spot. “And I may have finally found out what Korra had kept hidden in her coat pocket. All that’s missing from the rest of those items is that damn stone”.

“Well. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to say to that. Except.. I still am kinda rooting for you two”.

“Why? It’s not like she’s going to want to get back together after all this time. I don’t even know if I would want that again”.

Asami heard Opal laugh. “Listen, hun. Somewhere deep inside of you, you do still want to try again. You tried dating again, and I support that, but you still never have the same look you had when you were with Korra. Not even close”.

Unlocking the door to her office, she let out a groan. “I.. don’t even know her anymore. And she’s only coming back for this fight. I don’t love her anymore”.

“Right. Whatever you say. I can still see it. If she’s willing to try again, give her a second chance”.

“She probably doesn’t want that. I gotta get to work. Talk to you later”.

Asami ended the call, sitting at her desk. She didn’t have a ton of meetings today, so she could at least continue designs and file some paperwork. Anything to get Opal’s words from her mind. She didn’t love Korra anymore. She couldn’t.

 _Right?_  
_____________

“Chief, we’ve received word that there’s a band of rogues planning to loot the eastern villages”.

Korra looked up from some paperwork she had been reading through. “Send a squad of warriors from the west and another from the south. Inform them that casualties are to be kept at a bare minimum as the rogues are to stand trial here”.

“Understood”. Her guard gave her a salute before exiting the room.

She pinched the bridge of her nose as she continued going through the paperwork. This was the only way her parents would be able to join her in the city to see her fight. The moment her father had said he had too much to go through and it was unlikely he’d be able to get the elders in a position to lead the tribe in their absence in time, she was determined to pick up whatever she could. Her only irritation was coming from the constant interruptions, be it the phone or her guards. As if she willed it by thought alone, the phone rang. Again.

“Chief Korra of the Southern Tribe speaking”.

Silence.

“Hello?”

“Is.. Chief Tonraq available?” The voice on the other end was hesitant.

_Well.. shit._

“Unfortunately not, Miss Sato. He’s currently attending to some other tribe business”. Korra kept reminding herself this was a call that was purely business. Asami wasn’t her ex girlfriend in this moment. She was just a business partner and she had to remain professional. Even if she really, really didn’t want to.

“I can call back another time. Do you know when he will be available?”

_Is.. is her voice wavering?_

“Not for about a month. He’s... we’re going to be away from home. I’ve taken over some of the paperwork so we can have some time as a family. Can I assist you?”

“I.. it’s just about the cultural center plans. I currently have three floors drawn up and have some rough ideas for the final two I wanted to run by him”.

Korra sifted through some of the paperwork before finding the construction plans. “Alright. I can take a few notes for him and have him contact you when he either has a moment or once we return”.

“Korra, can we please-“

“This is a professional phone call, Miss Sato. But.. I did get your text. I’ve honestly been too swamped with everything to get a chance to respond. We can talk, personally, later”.

“Right..” she could hear Asami let out a hushed sigh. “One of the ideas I have is for an entire floor be dedicated to your Southern Lights Festival. It’s a huge time for all of you. It would be nice for the tribal members here in the city to have a piece of home here. Another idea would be for... domestic life”.

Korra furrowed her brow. She couldn’t quite place why Asami had put those two topics in the same conversation. Maybe she was just over thinking it, with her lost wish of proposing under the Lights and starting a family with her now ex. “I do like the idea for the Lights. Could you expand on the domestic life idea?”

“Just... something like everyday life. And courting customs you may have when finding a partner. Proposals, weddings, things like that. Traditional foods, basic home life. Would that be something you’d like to see in a culture center?”

_Okay, what? I mean.. it’s a good idea but.. nah, I’m just over thinking it._

“I mean.. all of that does kinda make us who we are. Draw it up and send it down. I can give you plenty of books to read about-“

“I’d rather hear about it all from.. someone down there. I feel it would be much more accurate”.

Korra pulled out her phone. She was already on the phone with Asami and figured she might as well text her back now before she gets too busy again.

-we’re heading down in a couple days and staying in town for about a week after the fight-

“I can schedule a phone meeting with someone for you-“

-no. You. I want to talk to you, Korra-

“Fine. As always, pleasure doing business with Future Industries, Miss Sato”.

“Likewise, Chief”.

Korra put the phone down and rubbed her temples. All of this could go well or very, very bad. Maybe she could get by just training, getting through the fight, and leaving without having to have an in person conversation. She wasn’t sure how seeing her ex girlfriend would make her feel. 

The hospital stay ended up being what she needed to start feeling mostly better. Therapy for all of the trauma she had experienced and her overall struggles with mental health. She accepted the medication they had suggested. Of course it would never cure her and she still had bad days, but she wasn’t completely self destructing when they happened. 

-why didn’t you tell me you were out of the hospital? Or even have your mom let me know-

-I told her not to. The first month out was rough. I hadn’t adjusted to the meds and I would just snap at random or sleep all day. It was all or nothing for a while-

Letting out a sigh, she looked over the paperwork about the cultural center. Asami had sent a few rough drawings. And for some reason, it made Korra smile.

-Why not after you adjusted?-

-In a way I wasn’t ready. I didn’t know how stable I was. I.. didn’t want to say anything just in case it would set me back. I only hope you can understand that-

“Korra?”

Her head snapped up to see Tonraq. “Hey, dad. Any big news on your end?”

“You’re smiling while going through paperwork. It can’t be that interesting. Anyhow, have you had anything to eat today?”

Korra wasn’t ready to admit to herself or anyone that it was her ex that was making her smile. For some reason. Even she thought it was odd.

“Um.. actually.. no, I haven’t. I kinda forgot and lost track of time”.

“I can see that. Everyone else has gone home. C’mon. Your mom has dinner waiting”.

-I guess I can understand that. I’m glad you’re at least somewhat better now. Maybe... we can try. Try to be friends again-

Korra quickly read the message, her smile only slightly grew. She couldn’t help but think it was completely strange.  
____________

“Did Korra tell either of you she’s been out of the hospital for a few months now?” 

Asami had decided to take Opal’s offer to go out to dinner with her and Bolin. Not only did she want to unwind around people not in suits, she had so much on her mind.

Bolin’s head snapped up. “No! And Kuv never said anything. The whole MMA squad has been super hushed about something recently. Especially Kuv and Bumi”.

“Well... have you reached out to her?”

“I did. She.. responded. Well, her first response was a complete accident. It was a phone meeting. For work. I had no idea she was going to be the one answering the phone”.

“How’d it go?” Opal started fidgeting slightly, worried that anything bad had been said by either of them.

<“The call went okay. She made damn sure the conversation was purely professional. And she did text back”. Asami chewed at her lip. “She.. wasn’t sure if she was stable enough to talk to me. That’s why she never told anyone”.

“Is this... something you need to go back to seeing Tenzin for? Like, are you okay with it all?”

“Opal, I’m fine. Really. Just.. worried that I may have pushed too far, too soon with suggesting we could try to be friends again”.

“You did what?!”

“Bo, calm down. She hasn’t responded to that proposition yet. Like I said, it may have been too soon. Um.. thanks for inviting me out. I do need to get going though”.

“I swear, Asami, if you’re going back to ‘coping’-“

“I’m going home. I have a big project to work on. I got approval for adding a couple more floors to the cultural center”. Asami stood from the table and paid for all of their meals. While she did have the project to work on, her eyes had quickly scanned a text from Korra and it wasn’t one she exactly didn’t want to back away from.

-I guess we could try. I’m not sure where to even start-

“Just don’t overwork yourself, hun. I’m being serious”.

“I won’t”. She gave a smile before she left for home.

Before she returned home, Asami had purchased a newspaper. She was reclining in bed, reading through the sports section. Specifically about Korra. Her record, overall career story, a few snippets of her personal life. A sad smile came to her face as she read the small section about the time they had dated. Then her phone rang, pulling her out of memories.

-incoming call: Korra-

She blinked in confusion for a moment. There had never been a conversation about a phone call. Especially not tonight. And it was almost 11. 

“Hi”. Asami tried to hide the smile in her voice.

“Um.. hi, Asami. I.. uh.. know this is weird. We never really- I mean.. I never called you first. I actually wasn’t expecting you to answer. It’s.. late. So, uh, how are you?”

_The rambling.. I missed that._

“I’m.. okay. Really wasn’t expecting you to call, especially at this hour. Are you okay?”

“No, yeah. I’m good. Just.. spirits, I’m making this so awkward.. were you being serious about trying to be friends again? I just don’t want this to be something that ends up crashing and burning again. And I wasn’t really the best friend or... girlfriend to you before so-“

“Korra, you don’t have to ramble on. I’m being serious. I kinda wanted to talk to you about something anyhow.. at least.. before you admitted yourself”.

“Oh..” Asami could hear a soft huff of air come from Korra. “Okay. Yeah, I’d like to try. Like I said, I don’t know where to start with this. I mean, yeah, we were friends before but- wait. What did you want to talk about before I got hospitalized?”

“If you don’t want to hear it, just cut me off, okay? I don’t want any of this to be forced or too soon. You’re allowed to take your time. Just.. promise me you’ll tell me to shut up if it’s too much right now”.

“I.. um.. yeah. I can do that”.

“I wanted to tell you.. you can still make this right, Korra. I would like to give you a second chance someday. But... as of right now, I still don’t trust you. I’m sorry. It’s going to take.. a lot for that kind of trust to come back. And I want you to prove to me that you’re still worth my time and energy and that I actually can trust you again”.

Korra was silent for a moment, clearly processing what she had just heard. “So.. even after all this time.. you still have feelings for me?”

“I don’t know, honestly. What I do know is, regardless of any chances for a relationship in the future, I want to be your friend”.

_Future relationship? Did I really have to say that out loud?_

“We.. have a lot we need to talk about, Asami. If you want to. We don’t have to if it’ll be too much and rip open old wounds”.

“No. I agree. We can’t keep ignoring it moving forward. I never got your side of everything. I would like to know. But.. we can take it slow. When are you going to be here?”

“We’re going to be landing late next Friday night. So.. the Friday before the fight. Asami?”

“Hm?”

“I.. hope you got help too. I wasn’t exactly easy to deal with. And everything you went through emotionally with me.. I just hope you had a chance to work through it”.

Asami noticed a different tone in Korra’s voice. Of course she cared. That was always a given. But it was the tone of remorse that hit her. And it wasn’t forced.

“I did. I.. had to. I wasn’t me. I turned into a person I said I would never be. Korra.. you-“

“I hurt you. Bad. I know. And I know words won’t mean much, but I’m sorry. I really am and I’ll.. try to prove that to you. You deserve that much”.

“Thank you. You really do have a good heart. It was just so damaged back then. You always put everyone and everything before yourself. And it only ended up hurting you more, and eventually those around you. I do hope you’re actually doing better, Korra”.

“I.. am”. Asami could hear a quiet sniffle come from the other side of the phone. “I’ll, uh, let you get some sleep. Goodnight”.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“What? Yeah. I’m good. I’m.. glad we could talk. Sleep well”.

“You too”. Asami ended the call, a genuine smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

Korra was, for the most part, better. Asami felt a spark of hope. She wouldn’t admit to the possibility of still having feelings for her former lover. Not after everything that had happened and all of this time apart with next to no communication. For some reason, the thought of actually getting to see her old friend, her ex, in roughly a week had her feeling almost giddy. Maybe there was a chance. Maybe, just maybe, they could make this work.  
_____________

*********  
Asami opened the front door, eyes going wide in shock.

“Hey, you”.

“Korra! You’re back!” She wrapped Korra into a tight hug, happy tears spilling over.

“I am. Sorry it took so long for me to get better for you. I guess I really needed to just.. kick myself in the ass”. Korra pulled Asami close, a tear or two of her own escaping. 

“I missed you. So much”.

“I missed you too, ‘Sami. But I’m here now. Hopefully not too much has changed”.

Asami let herself breathe Korra in. No faint smell of liquor mixing with her unique mix of earth and ocean. It was like coming home. This was the Korra she missed. Sober. Happy.

“No. Not too much has changed. I.. finished that railway system. And the motorcycle. Um.. I gave Naga to Opal. I hope that’s okay”.

“It’s fine. I really wasn’t expecting you to keep her”. Korra held Asami’s shoulders, pushing her back gently to lock eyes. “Any other big projects you’ve started?”

“Just that cultural center for you. I want it to be... perfect”.

“Always the perfectionist”. She gave a joking eye roll. 

“Don’t roll your eyes at me,” Asami laughed as she poked Korra’s side.

“Or what?”

Wrapping her arms around Korra’s waist, she pulled her close. The move ended with their faces inches apart and Korra’s arms around her neck. She leaned in, placing a tender kiss to Asami’s lips before pulling back.

“S-sorry. I just.. I missed you.. and I messed everything up and-“

Asami silenced her with another kiss, pulling her inside and closing the door. Korra deepened the kiss slightly.

“Korra...”

“Hmmm?”

She pulled her in closer by the hips as Korra’s hands found their way into her hair. 

“Don’t go. Ever again”.

“I won’t. I promise I’ll never leave you again”.

Asami kissed her again, biting at her bottom lip before tongues battled. A groan fell from Korra as her hands trailed down her shoulders and arms slowly...  
*******

Asami’s eyes snapped open with a gasp. She noticed she had been sweating. The sheets and the hair touching her skin was damp. This wasn’t the first dream she’s had of Korra coming back in the past week. She sat up with a sigh before grabbing her phone.

_It’s just after 8? Shit! I hope they didn’t need me in early today- wait.. it’s Saturday._

She let herself lay back down, willing to try for another hour of sleep.

_Fuck! It’s Saturday!_

Jolting back to sitting, she checked her phone again. Calming herself, Asami didn’t blame Korra for not texting she was in the city. She had just gotten in, and was probably exhausted. 

_Give it a few hours. Besides.. she’s with her parents._

She made her way downstairs and started some coffee for herself. Her heart was already racing. She wasn’t expecting to actually see Korra today, but her dreams as of recent have been stirring something inside her.

-You up?-

-yeah. Korra really had Naga on a very set routine, didn’t she?-

-that she did.. I’m sorry-

-no, don’t be. We’re pretty used to it now. Even after all this time, it can be annoying on a Saturday morning. You okay?-

-I don’t know! I keep having these.. dreams about her-

-nightmares or dreams?-

-both? Spirits! I don’t know-

-Asami. Fucking. Sato. Are you having sex dreams of her?!-

-not. A. Single. Word.-

-so you do still have feelings for her. Even after all this time. Knew it-

-unlikely-

 _I_ can’t.

A knock came from her door. Asami’s heart rate began to increase. 

_It was just a stupid dream. It’s not going to happen._

As she opened the door, her expression fell slightly.

“Kuvira. I’m still not exactly pleased when you show up unannounced”.

“I know. I’m just trying to keep my end of our deal. So, in the interest of honesty.. as far as I’m aware, it was only Bumi and I who knew Korra was out of the hospital and training again”.

“And yet you still didn’t tell me?” Asami folded her arms. The deal was for Kuvira to just be honest with her. They had mostly made amends, but she still didn’t fully trust her yet. 

“It was made very clear that no one was to know until the announcement of the fight. It was a deal made between Bumi and her coach. I didn’t even know I was scheduled to fight her until it was already set. I’ll even purposely lose if that’s what you want”.

“No. I want to see a fair fight. Neither of you are going to lose on purpose”.

“Okay. I’ll.. do my best to win then. Wait.. you said ‘see’. Are you going?”

“I am. I’m still.. not sure if it’s a good idea”.

“I mean.. it’s a start?”

“We have been talking more. You might be in for quite a challenge. So good luck. Go train. You have until Friday”. Asami gave Kuvira’s shoulder a shove before closing the door.

-if you’re up, can you give me a call?-

-not right now. I took mom and dad out for breakfast. I’ll call you later. Everything okay?-

-I think so. I’ll talk to you later-  
____________

Korra had decided to go to the gym with Tonraq that evening. If she could spar with him, Kuvira wouldn’t be an issue come Friday. The only issue being her mind was clouded. She would never tell anyone that she was having dreams of her ex. Some were good. Really good. Good enough to where she’d have to get a cold shower to get the images from her mind. Others were bad. Ones where she would wake up in tears.

“Ready?” 

Korra adjusted her gloves before getting into a fighting position. “Let’s do this”.

Tonraq threw the first swing, and the fight was on. What they didn’t know is that her opponent was also in the gym. Just watching. 

The last time Kuvira had seen Korra, she was blackout drunk and pinning her against the door. The kisses had been hot and heavy. Clothing was removed. Hands wandered. 

Now, the Korra she was watching was sober and strong. She tried keeping an eye on her footwork, looking for weak spots as she sparred with her father. Watched for a favored side. Watched for any weak spots for break any holds. There was no doubt in her mind this was going to be a hard match. Two and a half years away had definitely changed her. For the better.

-this match is going to be rough-

-what makes you say that, hun?-

-watching her spar. There’s few weak points, Junior. This might be a judge call. I haven’t had one of those in ages-

-has her fighting style changed?-

-drastically. I’ll be home soon. Love you-  
_________

“So.. what’d you wanna talk about?”

“I was just wondering if you’d want to actually see each other before your fight. It’s.. just a thought. You don’t have to”.

“I, uh, I’d like to, Asami. When were you thinking?” Korra nervously chewed at her lip, drawing random designs on a notepad in her hotel room.

“Really? Um... I was expecting you to say no so I don’t really have anything in mind”.

“Thursday when you get off work? We can go get coffee or something”. 

“Sounds like a date”.

Her mind went blank for a moment before chuckling anxiously, “uh.. okay. What?”

Korra could hear Asami stammer for a moment before responding, “I mean.. um.. yes. We can go get coffee when I get off work Thursday”.

“I mean.. if you wanna call it a date..”

_Stop flirting with your ex. Not cool._

“Korra”. There was a tone of warning coming from Asami.

“I know, I know. I’m just joking”.

_Or are you? Yes. Yes I am. She’s my ex. We’re just trying to be friends._

Asami had fallen silent.

“A-Asami? You there?”

“What? Yeah, sorry. Just thinking is all”.

“Was that too much? I’m sor-“

“No! No, it wasn’t. It’s just.. I feel like it’s gonna be weird to see you again. After all this time”.

Korra let out a sigh. “Yeah.. I understand that. Well.. I’ll see you Thursday?”

“Sure thing. Don’t be a stranger until then”.

“I won’t”. Korra hung up, a smile on her face. 

The smile quickly faded when she noticed what she had been absentmindedly doodling. A very familiar design she had long ago started carving. She quickly tore the page from the notepad, crumpling it into a small ball before tossing it in the trash. Asami was her ex girlfriend. They haven’t seen each other in two and a half years and only recently actually started talking again. Korra didn’t have any romantic feelings for her anymore. She couldn’t.  
_____________ 

That Thursday quickly came for both of them and Korra made sure she was first to the coffee shop. She never told Asami which one until she was already there, at a table, coffee ordered for the both of them. 

_This is how you show someone you never truly forgot about them, right? Order their favorite? But.. what if it’s not her favorite anymore?_

She groaned out of frustration into her hands, knowing she was completely overthinking it. This wasn’t a date. This was simply them trying to reconcile, be friends. Her hands dropped from her face as the door opened and briefly met the gaze of green eyes. She watched as Asami joined her at the table.

_This... was a terrible idea._

“Well, hello to you too”.

Korra quietly pushed Asami’s coffee to her. “I.. hope this is okay. And.. hi, Asami. It’s been.. too long”.

Asami quirked her eyebrow before taking a drink. “You remembered?”

“How could I forget? It’s the only thing you ever ordered when we would go... out for coffee”. She pursed her lips, looking down into her own mug. 

“We don’t have to do this, Korra. I can get a to-go cup and-“

“No, no. Please. Stay. I want to talk. This is just.. wow. It’s a lot. I didn’t think you’d actually want to see me again, but I prepared this whole talk in case you did and now I’m forgetting it all and-“

“Friends don’t prepare big talks,” Asami chuckled softly. 

“Can we at least address the elephant in the room now though? I fucked up. Big time. I hurt you in a way I said I never would and I destroyed the trust you had for me. And just saying sorry doesn’t mean anything. It’s just words. If you don’t want to talk about this, I’m fine with that. But.. if you do still want to.. I think we can”.

Asami went silent, holding her mug in her hands. She did want to talk about it. She wanted answers. And she wanted to hear Korra’s side of this situation. But part of her kept screaming that friendships don’t start with this kind of conversation. 

“I just want to know why, Korra. Why did you kiss her back?” 

“This is going to sound incredibly stupid. Like... you’re probably not going to think I’m being honest type of stupid. But.. when she broke my defense and pinned my hands down over my head, I had my eyes closed right? So.. in my drunken haze everything felt like.. you. I thought it was you. Until she said something”.

“That’s.. seriously it? All of this.. pain and heartbreak could have been avoided, Korra! Why didn’t you just tell me?!”

Korra tried to not flinch as Asami raised her voice. She had every right to still be mad, and even new anger was justified at how stupid the whole situation was in hindsight.

“I.. I wasn’t in the right headspace. I really thought it’d have made everything worse. All I did for the days after was beat myself up over it. Asami, I don’t want to fight about this again”.

“I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to yell, but seriously? You’re not just saying that at a cop out?”

“No. I’m not. I’ve talked about this so much with my psychiatrist in the hospital. And my mom. It’s quite honestly the stupidest thing I ever heard come out of my mouth. Of all reasons.. spirits, I am an idiot”.

Asami nodded slowly before taking another drink of her coffee. “That.. is incredibly stupid. But the day we.. broke up, I wasn’t exactly honest either. I had hooked up with someone the night before. So even if things would have worked out back then, I’d still have that hanging over my head”.

“I only vaguely remember you saying that..” Korra ran her finger around the top of her mug. “I mean.. I hadn’t talked to you for days. And then I called Kuvira over..”

“It’s still not an excuse. We were technically still together when I did that. And then I accused you of doing the same thing and broke up with you. I didn’t think to hear you out. In a way.. maybe I was guilty for my own actions when I said what I did. Especially after you had said you wanted to talk that night. So, I’m sorry”.

Korra fell silent, processing. She had tried to forget that morning completely. The accusations, the yelling. She didn’t remember much from the rest of the day, knowing she had been pretty much blackout drunk, but some pieces were still in her memory. 

“It was so long ago, Asami. I tried for a long time to forget everything about that day. Everything was such a mess then..”

“I know.. I didn’t handle it the best either. I.. starting drinking a lot and sleeping around. I became someone who wasn’t me for a long time, Korra”. 

Biting at her lip, her gaze met Korra’s. There was a look of sadness there, mixed with remorse. In that split moment, she knew how sorry she truly was for this disaster. Asami could only guess that the memory of the past two years had come flooding back.

“Korra, I’m sorry. If this is too much-“

“No. It’s.. fine. This talk needed to happen, Asami. I just.. don’t know if it should have been in person yet. I’m sorry..” she blinked the tears from her eyes before they could escape. “But.. um.. I did like seeing you again”. 

Korra went to stand to leave, stopping when Asami’s hand covered hers.

“In all honesty, I missed you. And.. I do want to try to work through all of this. Earn my trust back, Korra”.

_What are you doing? You’re supposed to be trying to be friends again, not.. that._

“Um..” she swallowed the lump in her throat. “So.. you did still have feelings for me? Even after-“

“Yes. Even after everything. I meant it, Korra. The broken bits and all. I don’t trust you yet. But.. I’m sure we can talk through this, hang out more, get to know each other again. Rebuild trust. I’d like to see you again before you go back home, okay? And.. we don’t have to talk about the past next time”.

Korra nodded slowly. “Okay.. yeah, okay. I’m, uh, gonna head to the gym. Get one last workout in before the fight tomorrow. Get some rest and all that. Wanna meet up again next week?” Korra rubbed the back of her neck.

She wasn’t sure where this was all headed. The talk was hard, but needed. Deep down she had an idea that Asami actually wanted to try again. And she was nervous. She gave up on winning her back a long time ago, and now, she had a spark of hope again. 

“Sure. We can talk about it later. Go get ready to kick Kuvira’s ass”.

“Don’t worry. I will”. Korra shot her a small, crooked grin before leaving the coffee shop. 

Suddenly, Asami had a smile on her face. That grin of hers sent a wave of hope through her. And she made a decision. One that would either help this feeling, or completely snuff it out.

_I’m going to show her the ring after the fight. She needs to know just how much I meant everything. I just need to make sure Opal didn’t actually throw it away._


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still holding off on some heavy angst. I ALMOST threw it in this chapter. But.. 👀

There was no way Asami could focus on work, not when there was a ring in her pocket that seemed to weigh several tons. She had every intention to meet with Korra after the fight and show her, tell her everything from years ago. Chewing on the end of her pen, she took the ring out and rolled it between her fingers. It wasn’t finished. She had wanted to do a vivid blue resin inlay after etching some tribal designs into it. The one thing she couldn’t get out of her head was the inscription she had put on the inside of the band.

-I know you said we’d see each other next week, but I would like to change up the plans a bit. Can we talk before you go to your fight?-

-aren’t you at work?-

-yeah. I’m actually about to go to lunch. Would you like to join?-

She felt her face get slightly warmer at some very pleasant memories returning about what lunch in her office usually led to. She forced those memories down quickly. That wasn’t ever going to happen again. And she desperately wanted those kinds of thoughts to leave her alone. She couldn’t be thinking like this.

-I can if you want. I’m just in the tub, relaxing my muscles before tonight. Did you want me to grab food or?-

-I’ll order something. We don’t have to have lunch in my office if you don’t want to-

_Please. Just say anywhere else. Even if it’s my waiting area. And did you seriously have to tell me you’re taking a bath.. to relax those fantastic... No. Stop._

-that works for me. Pick a place and order whatever. I’ll be there soon. Same office or did you move?-

-same place. See you soon-

“Fuck,” Asami whispered, setting the ring on her desk. “What am I doing? What am I even feeling right now?”

Sliding open the bottom drawer, she pulled out the old picture frame. Her pulse quickened as she took in the details of both of them. Something about the Korra in the picture and the Korra she was about to have lunch with was different. Not in a bad way, but a difference she couldn’t quite place. As she continued to stare at the picture, she called the diner and ordered delivery for both of them. 

_Please, spirits, don’t let this be a terrible idea._

Asami put the picture back into the drawer and closed it before pulling a small stack of papers in front of her. She needed to drown whatever she was feeling inside, and work was always the first thing she turned to. Before reading through yet another contract, she turned her gaze to the picture of her mother that had replaced the spot the picture of them used to sit. 

“I wish I could talk to you and get your advice about all of this..”

Her secretary had paged, “are you expecting a visitor, ma’am?”

“Yes. Send her up”.

Asami swallowed hard as she looked at the ring again before placing it in the top drawer of her desk. Which just so happened to be where she had also put the materials for the necklace Korra had been making. She closed the drawer just as there was a knock.

“Come in!”

Korra opened the door slowly, still unsure if she was truly allowed there, until her eyes met Asami’s. “Um.. I ran into Kai. He said this was for you. I told him I was already coming up to see you so I could just take it with-“

“Korra.. just come in and close the door. Are you okay? You’re rambling an awful lot”.

She walked in, closing the door before setting the bag of food on Asami’s desk.

“Would you believe me if I said I wasn’t sure how to talk to you yet? This is all still really.. weird for me”.

Before she could stop herself, Asami took in the woman in front of her. She had let her hair grow out some, falling right at the top of her shoulders. Letting her eyes trail Korra’s arms, she felt a small twinge of pain at each scar she noticed. It also seemed she had gotten stronger. A thought of what she looked like without a shirt on crossed her mind and she quickly shoved it down as deep as she could.

“Asami?”

“Hm? Sorry. Just.. a lot on my mind. The Mayor keeps hounding me for plans for a city park, on top of the cultural center. And so many of the buildings need a code update, not to mention some of the roads...”

Korra chuckled quietly as she sat in the chair across from Asami. “Who’s rambling now? Must really be something big on your mind. Asami Sato doesn’t ramble. You did want to talk after all, right?

“Right..” she took and unwrapped her sandwich. “You know.. I really had no idea we were more or less on the same page before.. everything”.

“Hm? What do you mean?” Korra unwrapped her own sandwich and took a bite.

“I.. really don’t know how to talk about this. But..” she opened the top drawer, pulled out the necklace pieces, and set them on the desk.

“You.. what? I'm.. I’m confused, Asami. When did you find that?” She set her sandwich down, wanting to reach for the items. But she also wanted to know where this conversation was headed. 

“A little over a week ago..”

Korra gave a genuinely confused look. “You really kept my coat?”

“I kept... nearly everything. I just packed it all away.. expect your coat and robes. For some reason I just couldn’t. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about”. Asami set her sandwich down after taking a bite.

“So... pretending you didn’t just tell me that, what is it you wanted to talk about exactly?”

“Where’s the stone, Korra?”

Korra’s jaw dropped, locking eyes with the woman across from her. “Uhm.. well.. I kinda, sorta chucked it over the cliffs back home? I was upset. And if anything ever gets serious again I wouldn’t be able to use it. Not with all the heartbreak that was attached to it..”

Asami stole a quick glance at the ring in the drawer before closing it.

_Not right now. It would definitely be too much._

“I can understand that. Would you like any of this back?”

“Um..” Korra wiped the tears from her eyes. “N-no. It’s fine. I’d.. honestly probably just get rid of it too. It’s...”

_Tainted. Pointless. No chance. We’re only friends._

“... too much to carry around. If that makes sense”. She finally reached out, lightly touching the leather strip. The tears she had been fighting had spilled over. It hurt to see the items that once meant so much. 

Asami raised her eyebrows in concern, gently covering Korra’s hand with her own. She didn’t mean to rip open a sensitive wound of the past. All she wanted was for her to see that she kept those things instead of simply throwing it all away when she found them. That she almost secretly wanted to get to that point again someday. 

“I’m.. sorry. I should have known it was going to be too much”.

“No. Asami, no. Y-you said we were kinda on the same page? Right?”

Nodding, Asami whispered, “yes. I had started making you... a ring”.

“You d-did?!” Korra’s voice broke. “Sp-spirits I’m so.. fucking stupid..”

“Hey.. hey, now”. Asami’s resolve broke as she quickly stood and made her way to her side. This is not the Korra she wanted to see. She wasn’t sure if more physical contact was completely appropriate yet, but what happened in her office would stay behind closed doors. “Korra, stand up. Please?”

With a sad nod, she stood. Before she could ask why, Asami pulled her into a hug. At first she tensed, unsure if she was required to return the gesture or not. Or if it was even wanted. After a few breaths, she relaxed into her ex’s embrace and tentatively returned the hug. 

“I’m sorry. I.. didn’t mean to start crying like that. I told you I was better and then-“

“Korra. Listen to me, okay? You are better. Maybe not 100%, but you’re sober. You’re not hiding yourself away. You’re allowed to still feel sadness over this. It’s normal. Had our positions been flipped, I would have cried too”.

She wouldn’t be the one to admit that when Opal have her the ring back, she broke down. The good times, the reasons she loved Korra, all came to the front of her mind. It hurt to remember how much love they had for each other and how she never gave her the chance to actually explain herself. Asami knew exactly what her ex was feeling in this moment.

Korra nodded into her shoulder. She didn’t want the embrace to end. There was a part of her that almost hated how much she was enjoying it. Almost. It felt too right. And it scared her. She reluctantly pulled back wiping her eyes and face. 

“Would you mind if I.. went back to the hotel and relaxed for a bit? I need to clear my head. And, um, you can do whatever you want with.. that”. She gestured to the necklace pieces. 

“That’s completely okay. You have a pretty big fight tonight, Korra. You don’t have to ask for permission to take care of yourself first, regardless if I do enjoy talking to you again”. Asami took Korra’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze before her ex gathered the last of her food and left with a small, yet slightly sad smile.

 _That was a friendly gesture, right? I mean.. Opal gives my hand a squeeze when I’m upset. But she also never seeks my hand out like.. that. Oh, spirits, what am I doing?_  
___________

Korra was sitting on the bench in the locker room of the away team, Tonraq wrapping her hands. She was nervous, and it wasn’t the pre-fight anxiety. It was because it was Kuvira. The last time they ever saw each other, she didn’t remember most of that night, only what she’s been told. The only memories Korra had of her that she actually remembered was the day her life started crashing.

“You got this, kiddo. I know it’ll be hard, but don’t let the past come up and cost you this. You’re stronger than before and she’s not prepared for what we’ve been working on”. Tonraq finished wrapping her hands and placed his on her shoulders.

“I know my footwork is going to throw her off. She’s not going to be used to it. I’m just.. dad, what if it does all come back?” Korra bit at her lip.

“Then use it to your advantage”. He gave her shoulders a strong squeeze. “Let it piss you off, not bring back the hurt. Do what you will with that. I know she’s strong and hits hard, but you’re stronger, Korra. Don’t forget that”.

She nodded and stood as the buzzer went off. After getting her gloves on, she gave her dad a tight hug. “I love you, dad”.

“I love you too. Your mom and I will be in your corner. Always. At your fights and in your life. Go give her hell”. Tonraq have a firm pat on the back before she made her way out of the locker room.

Korra put her mouth guard in just as she was called to the cage.

_Totally forgot this was a cage match. Awesome._

As the door closed behind her, her eyes locked with Kuvira’s. She remembered that afternoon, Asami telling her they were on the same page about wanting to get married. Asami had even made her a ring. They could have been married by now. 

Korra bit down on her mouth guard as the ref called them to the center. She wasn’t sure if she was fighting tears or if she wanted to start the fight before the bell. Kuvira raised her hands to touch gloves and all she did was stare. She didn’t want to touch gloves. After a few moments, instead of just turning and going to her corner, she reluctantly bumped gloves with Kuvira.

_Even if I’m nothing, at least I have good sportsmanship._

Going back to her corner, she quickly scanned the crowd, looking for any familiar faces aside from her parents. Especially one certain face framed by raven locks, not that she was actually hoping. That would have been ridiculous.

_I mean.. why would she be here anyhow? We’re only kinda sorta friends._

The bell rang. Kuvira and Korra met in the middle, Korra landing the first punch almost immediately. She faked a left handed jab, sneaking in a hard right hook. 

As the first round went on, both women landed and received painful blows. Kuvira earned a broken nose. Korra’s forehead and lip were bleeding. Korra was sure at least one finger was broken. Kuvira definitely pulled something in her ankle. It was only one round and they were both tired and already starting to feel pain, but neither were about to back down until there was a tap out or knockout. 

Asami grabbed Opal’s hand as the second round started and Kuvira landed a hard kick to Korra’s ribs.

“How long do you think this is going to go on?”

“I don’t know, hun. My only guess would be until one of them is out cold. Are you sure you want to stay until the end?”

Asami winced as she watched Kuvira lock up with Korra on the side of the cage. She could make out a few bruises already starting to appear over Korra’s ribs. Even if she knew her ex was probably in pain, she couldn’t help but let her eyes wander, following the movements of muscle as Korra would throw a punch or kick, try to either get out of or secure a grapple of some sort, or even just catch her breath. 

Asami remembered her being strong, muscles defined and barely covered by anything soft. The Korra in the cage now was stunning. She had never really bulked up much more, but she was definitely more cut and lean. 

“Yeah.. I do. I want to show her the ring after the fight. To show her that we were truly on the same page at one time”.

“Are you even watching the fight? Or.. are you just drooling, Miss Sato?” Opal shot her a smirk, knowing where her friend’s line of sight was landing: a sweating Korra, clad in only a sports bra and shorts.

“I-I’m watching, Opal. Whatever you’re implying.. I have to look at her to even watch the fight you know”. Asami crossed her arms, eyes never really leaving Korra. 

“Are you blushing?!”

“No! Why would I be blushing?!” Asami cleared her throat. There was no way that was happening.

“Right. Whatever you say”.

As the second round came to a close, she noticed Korra had a slight limp starting as she walked back to her corner. She had also ended up with a bloody nose and fresh cut under her eye. Asami couldn’t visibly see further injuries from where she was sitting. She glanced over to Kuvira, noticing blood dripping from her chin and a black eye starting to show. She hadn’t bothered trying to reset her nose and she was clearly favoring her left leg. 

_They’re going to kill each other if this continues.. there’s three rounds left. Come on, Korra.. do something._

Korra looked to her nurse. She knew she was probably a bloody mess. 

“She won’t back down,” she groaned, spitting blood into a cup. 

“Your father said to take her down and put an end to this match. Your grappling is your strong card. Play it”.

Korra nodded, taking a quick glance past Kuvira and at Pema.

_Wonder how the kids are.. ugh, no. Get your head back in this._

She stood as her nurse was ushered out of the cage, putting her mouth guard back in. As the third round started, Korra’s eyes suddenly met a shade of green eyes she could never forget. Her breath caught and gave Kuvira enough of an opening to trip her up. 

As she hit the mat, memories came rushing back. The way Kuvira straddled her, similar to the situation she found herself in again. In an instant, she caught one of her wrists as her fist came towards her face. She kept her eyes open, willing away the moment that destroyed everything. 

Kuvira’s eyes went wide with shock at the hate filled glare from the woman under her. She felt herself get thrown off balance and the positions flipped. And Korra wasn’t pulling any punches. Each one landed hard, pent up anger loaded into each fist. Kuvira swore something in her wrist popped and hoped it wasn’t going to add to her growing list of injuries. She tried to grab at Korra’s hands, but she was proving too quick on the draw back. There was really only one option to get out of this situation. 

As Kuvira rolled herself over, Korra sat up on her knees to let it happen. Until Kuvira was face down. She hooked her arm around her neck and continued to deliver blow after blow to the side of Kuvira’s face. Even as she felt her hand stop pulling at her arm and lose consciousness, Korra continued with the punches. She never heard the whistle blow.

_You ruined all of this. I could be married right now. We could possibly have at least one child. If.. that’s what Asami would have wanted. Why the fuck did you kiss me?! Why did you have to touch me in a way you knew only Asami would?!_

Korra had to be pushed off of Kuvira and cornered by a ref as the doctors tended to the other fighter. Asami knew what she saw in Korra’s eyes. Anger, hurt. And only she could see the tears mixing with sweat. Asami watched as the doctors got Kuvira conscious and sitting, still stealing glances at her ex. Korra had calmed down some, a faint look of concern about the damage she had dealt to her old friend. 

Kuvira managed to motion Korra over, removing her mouth guard as her old fight partner sat on the balls of her feet next to her.

“F-feel better?”

Korra removed her own mouth guard. “Much. I probably wouldn’t have stopped if I wasn’t forced to. Just so you know”.

“I wouldn’t.. expect much less from you. Not after.. everything”. Kuvira took the cup of water from the doctor.

“Then tell me why. Why did you have to do that? Why did you hold me down and kiss me like that?”

“I couldn’t get my head around Junior. It was selfish. I know I can’t take it back, but I wish I could. I created a huge disaster for everyone”.

Korra stood, letting the doctors help Kuvira to her feet. “Yeah. You did. And I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you for that”.

“Why did you even kiss back? Or call me over days later?”

“One, I thought you were Asami until you opened your mouth. Two, I was drunk and I don’t remember anything other than what others have told me”.

“I’m not the only one at fault!”

“No shit. I worked through all of my problems, got help. Yes, I fucked up. But so did you. You knew Asami and I were very, very serious together. Committed. And yet you had the bright idea to kiss me. Don’t forget who initiated this whole fucking mess!”

Kuvira fell silent. Korra was right. If she wouldn’t have made the decision to kiss her before it even happened, no one would have had to deal with all of the heartbreak and pain for two long years. In the end, Kuvira accepted that this was, in fact, mostly her fault. It was her decision. And she actually acted on it.

The ref broke up the yelling match before fists started swinging again, bringing the two to the center of the ring and declaring Korra the winner. Korra looked to where she had seen Asami, meeting eyes with her again and flashing her a smile. 

_You actually came?! I can’t believe it! We only just started talking again and you came to this fight of fights? I could kiss you!_

Korra swallowed hard at her own thoughts. 

_No. No I couldn’t. Because that would mean we’re more than friends. And we’re not. We’re barely friends as it is. And.. there’s no way you trust me enough yet. Not for that._

She made her way out of the cage, sitting on a bench with one of the doctors. Asami watched her get checked over from where she was sitting. 

“Opal..?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t think she was going to stop. The ref had to literally force her to. I have never seen her fight like.. that”. She wrung her hands nervously. The moment they had met eyes, something in Korra took over. 

Asami blamed Kuvira too. More so than she ever blamed Korra. She knew her ex wouldn’t have ever kissed anyone else first at that time. And Kuvira had been a very good friend to them both. Asami felt absolutely betrayed by her. She knew how serious their relationship was. Asami only slightly hated herself for thinking it, but always thought Kuvira should have known better considering what she had been through. She had decided that’s what angered her most with Kuvira; her basically forcing herself onto Korra.

“You’re... probably right. She really got pissed off out of nowhere. Are you sure you want to show her the ring tonight? I’d let her cool off a bit”. Opal gave Asami a concerned glance.

“I do want to show her tonight. I’m not going to jump her and just be like, ‘hey look what I made you over two years ago cause I wanted to marry you’. I’ll.. try to ease into it. Besides.. I would like to congratulate her on that win. And make sure she’s okay...” Asami kept her attention on Korra and the doctor, seeing a grimace of pain cross her face as he started moving her knee around.

“Asami. Are you okay?”

“What? Yeah. I’m fine”.

“First you’re all but drooling over her and now you want to make sure she’s okay? Do you see anyone else here doing that?” Opal gave her friend a shove.

“I care about her. I don’t like seeing.. my friends injured. And I wasn’t drooling over her. Sure, she looks great but-“

“You were so undressing her with your eyes. Not like you haven’t seen that before, but still. You want to see the new Korra, naked and under you”.

“I do not,” Asami hissed at her friend. 

“Two words for you. Sex. Dreams”.

She felt her face heat up. “You better stop”.

“Or what? I did tell you I’m still rooting for you two”.

“S-she probably has a girlfriend or even boyfriend back home. You can’t tell me she didn’t date anyone in all this time”. Asami ignored the twinge of jealousy at her own words.

Opal raised her eyebrow with a laugh. “You really think that she wouldn’t have brought her significant other, if she had one, to see her fight? That’s a load of shit and you know it. You’re just making things up now”.

“I don’t like her like that anymore!”

“Sure you don’t”.

Asami watched as Korra met with her parents, giving them each a hug before leaving the arena. She wasn’t going to corner her at the locker room. Deciding she would just wait outside, she stood with Opal and headed out. Her heart was pounding, mind racing, and pocket weighing a thousand pounds.  
_____________

Korra sat next to her bag on the bench. She told Tonraq to give her a few moments to get changed. As she removed her hand wraps, a familiar scar came into view. With a frown, she traced her fingers along it.

_This.. this should have been where you left, Asami. I know you cared, but this hurt you so much. Worried you so much. Why could I never just.. talk to you?_

She quickly removed her sports bra and shorts, glancing over her body. The scars of heartbreak were slowly starting to fade. And she even looked stronger to herself. 

_She said I have a chance to make this right. But where do I start now? Wait.. I still have feelings for her? I still have feelings for her. Shit._

Korra gently touched the bruise appearing on her ribs. She knew she was going to be in a lot of pain in the morning and she’d be lucky if she could walk normally for the next few days. All she knew is she felt a pop when Kuvira had kicked her knee and now it just simply hurt, especially if she put her full weight on it. Korra heard the door creak open.

“You decent?”

“Uh.. not yet. One sec, dad!” She quickly pulled on a hoodie and sweat pants before starting to pack her things into her bag. “I’m good now”.

Tonraq came around the corner, smile on his face. “You did it! But.. in all seriousness... why didn’t you stop at the whistle?”

“Um.. the past came up?” Korra averted her gaze from her father’s. 

“I see.. are you okay?”

“Aside from knowing I’m going to be in so much pain tomorrow, yeah. I’m okay. Pretty sure I got it all out in the cage. Have you heard anything about her?” She stood slowly, grunting at the pain from her knee.

Tonraq quickly steadied his daughter. He knew the adrenaline was wearing off and the true amount of pain she was in was only going to become apparent over the next few hours. “They wanted to keep her in a 24 hour supervision from the concussion. You did a number on her. Broken nose, a couple broken fingers, lacerations about the face, dislocated wrist, major concussion, fractured foot.. how about you? What did the doc say?”

“A few busted fingers, quite a few cuts and scrapes, possibly tore something in my knee and a slight possibility of a cracked rib or two. Surprisingly no concussion, or if there is one it’s super minor. Oh. And Asami was here”. Korra fidgeted with her hands.

“I.. I know. We ran into her and her friend in the way out of the arena. Your mom is probably still talking to them”. Tonraq glanced over Korra, trying to find any signs of her being uncomfortable.

“F-friend? Who?”

“I think it was Opal. Would you like to go see them? They.. wanted to congratulate you”.

_At least its Opal. Was I actually.. jealous? That can’t be right.._

“Uh.. s-sure!” Korra flashed an anxious smile. She had seen Asami and beat the shit out of Kuvira, but still had yet to see any of her other friends.   
______________

Opal nudged Asami gently as she saw Korra and Tonraq exit the building.

Asami looked just past Senna’s shoulder, a small smile at her lips directed at Korra. “She really does look so much better, Senna. Even if she’s all bruised up right now. And.. limping?”

Senna turned, seeing Korra refusing to let her father take some of the weight off her knee. “That one kick must have actually done some sort of damage. She never acted like it did”. She looked up at Asami before whispering soft enough for only her to hear, “she missed you so much, you know. I wanted to tell you she was out, but I also wanted to respect her boundaries”.

“You don’t have to apologize. Her and I have already discussed the reasons why she never talked to anyone here after she got out”.

_I missed her too. I.. think?_

Asami and Opal took a turn in giving Tonraq’s hand a shake, also extending the gesture to Korra. They were both slightly shocked when she pulled them both into a hug instead.

“Hey, guys. So.. uh..” Korra stepped back, avoiding putting too much weight on her injuried leg and scratching the back of her neck, “enjoy the show?”

“Y-yeah. It’s been a while since I got to see you fight. Are you okay though? You took quite a beating”. Asami raised her eyebrows in concern, ignoring the slight elbow from Opal.

“I’m good. Just gonna be real sore tomorrow and probably for the next few days”.

“So.. what was continuing after that whistle all about?” Opal gave her a gentle shove. 

“U-uh.. well..” Korra stole a fleeting glance at Asami before looking down at her feet. “Some.. things came to mind and I.. got pissed off”.

“Does it have anything to do with-“

“Opal! Don’t. The five of us.. we all know what happened”. Asami looked between Tonraq, Senna, and Korra. None of them seemed too particularly upset with Opal’s almost-question. “I’m sorry.. she doesn’t know the details like the four of us”.

“I’ll.. tell you at some point, Opal. Just not tonight. I would like to celebrate with a hot bath and some ice on these bruises”.

Asami froze for a moment. She was hoping that Korra would have said something about going out to celebrate her win.

_She’s in pain. It can wait._

“Wanna meet us for a few drinks to celebrate?”

Korra’s breath hitched and Asami gave Opal a shove for the suggestion. Tonraq placed his hand on Korra’s shoulder while Senna smiled warmly at Asami and Opal.

“I think you should. You haven’t seen them in over two years, Korra”.

“D-dad, I know. But.. my knee does actually really hurt”.

_And then there’s the factor of.. possible alcohol.._

“They’ll take care of you, dear. I’m sure they’ve missed you. And you deserve to have friends in your life”. Senna gave Asami a knowing smile.

“Okay. Um. How about this... I’m gonna get back to the hotel and get myself cleaned up, drop my things off, and then meet you guys...?”

“Kwong’s. We’ll wait outside for you. If.. you don’t want to, you don’t have to. It’s just a suggestion”. Asami shot Opal a slight glare. 

“Alright. Give me like.. an hour?” Korra couldn’t stop her eyes from flicking to Asami’s lips, her waist, thighs..

_Stop. Damn it. She barely trusts you as it is. This isn’t going.. there._

“That works for us! See you there, Korra!” Opal hooked her arm with Asami’s, leading her to the car.

“Dad.. are you sure..?”

“You.. need to talk to her. And Opal seems like a good moderator for the two of you. If anything gets.. difficult”.

Korra opened her mouth to say something, but Senna cut her off.

“Korra, you’re much better now. You’ve had a few drinks before. Trust yourself, okay? Like I said, you deserve friends. Especially if you do want to ever move back here”.

“Right..” Korra had only mentioned moving back in passing, never fully serious. She gave her parents a warm smile before slightly limping behind them to their car.  
____________

“Are you insane?! We already had plans to meet up next week, before she leaves for home”.

“Come on. We don’t even have to drink. Just.. relax. You said you wanted to be friends with her again.. so look, we’re doing friend things”.

“So your grand plan isn’t to get me tipsy and confess everything?”

“Excuse me, what?!”

Asami hugged herself, turning from her friend. She knew she had said too much. There was no way she had any sort of romantic feelings for Korra. Even if she did, she would take those feelings to the grave with her if she died tonight.

“N-nothing..”

“Asami.. it’s okay if you still have feelings for her. You guys were like... head over heels for each other. You wanted to marry her and she wanted to marry you. Something like that doesn’t just go away”. Opal gave her friends shoulder a touch.

“I don’t trust her, Opal. What’s the point of still wanting to be in a relationship if I don’t trust her completely?” Asami sighed. Maybe one other person should know how she feels. Just in case. 

“Then make her work for it. Have her rebuild that trust. You won’t ever know if you don’t try. Let her prove herself to you. She.. still has feelings for you too, you know”. Opal started across the crosswalk. Walking to Kwong’s was Asami’s idea, saying she needed to clear her head.

Asami scoffed before following her friend. “It’s a long shot for that! But... I guess I can give her the chance to... prove it”. 

The two sat on a bench outside of the restaurant, making small talk until Asami saw Korra. She was still favoring one leg, but clearly trying to hide how much it bothered her.

“Sure you don’t actually still have some deep feelings for her?” Opal gave her a nudge as they both stood.

Asami forced the small smile down, but her eyes still gave her away. “What’s that supposed to mean? I... like her. Just.. ya know..”

“Your eyes always give your emotions away, hun. All you did was see her and you lit up. Like I keep saying.. let her at least try to get you back”.

She shook her head with a smile as Korra joined them.

“You didn’t have to wait out here. I..” Korra stole a quick glance at Asami. “..definitely would have found the table”.

“You know.. you could have said you didn’t want to come if you’re in pain or tired”. Asami shifted nervously, her pocket continuing to feel heavier.

“No, I know. I just.. I missed you..” her eyes finally wandered to Opal. “..both. And I’m only going to be in town for about another week so I might as well make the most of it”.

“Well, don’t be a stranger when you do end up going home. We all missed you too. Um.. Naga’s a great dog, by the way. I know she probably missed you like crazy”.

Korra glanced from Opal to Asami at the mention of her dog. She had truly thought Asami would have taken her back to Kya.

“I.. um.. she deserved a good home. Until you came back. I hope you don’t mind”.

“No. Not at all. I’m just.. glad you didn’t take her back to the shelter”. Korra gave a warm, almost relieved smile.

Opal could sense a bit of tension and sadness. “You’re probably hungry! Let’s get inside and get a table. We can talk in there”.

Korra let the other two enter the restaurant first. She kept trying to think of conversations to have not related to the breakup or even Asami. Never one to admit to it, she was terrified that if it came up, she would confess to her current feelings. And she couldn’t have that. Asami made it clear she didn’t feel the same, and Korra was going to take her word for it.

After ordering drinks and food, Opal broke the awkward silence that had fallen, “so... what’s it like being chief?”

“Oh.. uh. It’s alright. Mostly just breaking up spats between the distant villages. Lots of paperwork. No wonder my dad would get a headache some days”. Korra shrugged, taking a drink of her water.

“Asami had said it’s absolutely freezing down there. How do you keep going back after living here for so long?”

Korra’s heart started to beat harder. “I kinda grew up there, so it just doesn’t seem as cold to me I guess. The first day back home after being gone is a bit of a shock... but after that, it’s kinda normal. And we have plenty of ways to stay.. warm”.

_Stop thinking about it, stop thinking about it.. stop thinking about.. her._

“I’m sure you’d have to. Well.. Bo and I have really considered trying for kids”.

Korra let out a breath of relief for the change of topic. “Really?! That’s awesome!”

“They would have more time to try if they would stop inviting me places,” Asami chimed in with a soft laugh. 

“Oh, you need to get out some. All work and no play is bad for your sanity”.

“What sanity do I even have left? You two drive me insane sometimes. Like, why can’t we have one game night that doesn’t end up in yelling?”

“You know it’s all jokes! And.. you’re too good at board games”.

Korra felt a smile pull at her lips as she watched the two bicker. She felt like she had truly come home in this moment. Opal had always been an amazing friend to both her and Asami. And really anyone she would meet. 

_Why didn’t I talk to her.. or anyone while I was away. They obviously... care._

“Hey! You should join us for a game night before you go!”

“Uhm... are you sure? I wouldn’t exactly call us friends-“

“Oh, shut your mouth. We’ve always been friends. Even if you did disappear there for a while. Come on. Tomorrow night. Asami’s place”.

Korra’s eyebrows shot up, swallowing hard as she glanced between the two.

_Asami’s place? What are you planning?_

“S-sure. I’ll.. I’ll be there”.

Asami tried to not keep looking at Korra, secretly hoping to make eye contact, through the rest of their dinner. It was just going to be board games and friendly talk. The only thing being that Opal and Bolin usually spent the night after the games were done. Part of her hoped Korra would decline that offer and just go back to the hotel. The other part desperately wanted her to stay the night. To talk. 

“I’m gonna get back to the hotel. I’m gonna need to get some rest before I destroy you both at some games”. Korra gave a smirk as she stood after declining Asami’s offer to pay, paying for all three of them. 

“Right. Like to see you try,” Asami’s tone was slightly challenging as she also stood from the table with a smirk of her own, followed by Opal.

“In case you forgot, I’m actually good at board games. I won’t have to try too hard”. 

Opal watched as the two edged each other on, a smile continuing to grow. This was the best friend she was missing. The unforced happiness that Asami had during dinner was needed. If she had to kick Korra’s ass in gear to fix their relationship, she wasn’t about to hesitate anymore. Opal knew they still had feelings for each other, they just needed to realize it themselves. 

“Alright, alright. I really do gotta head back though. I’ll see you two tomorrow”. Korra gave Opal a quick hug before embracing Asami. She knew the hug lasted longer than it probably should have for just being friends, but neither seemed to want to let go.

Asami watched as she forced the limp from her step as she left the restaurant. She couldn’t help but think that, regardless of the pain and exhaustion, Korra simply and truly wanted to see her again. The thought sent a pleasant shiver down her spine. Maybe she actually did have feelings for her still.

_Huh. Totally forgot about showing her the ring through all the.. talking. It needs to be a time when we’re alone anyhow. Maybe tomorrow.._


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Game night and feelings

Asami rolled over with a groan, checking the time. She’s always been an early riser, but she had stayed up much later than than she’d care to admit. Seeing that it was almost 10 didn’t come as such a surprise, and neither did the nearly empty bottle of tequila on her nightstand. She had stayed up, drinking her feelings and loneliness away. Or at least she tried.

Pulling the blanket over her head to drown out the light, a single tear escaped her eye. Asami was convinced she had moved on, put the past behind her. She wanted to be friends with Korra. Even before they had started dating, even if she wasn’t sober, Asami had found her interesting and lovable. She was a dork. Funny. Strong. Shy yet not unwilling to stand up for others. She wanted that friendship again. 

_But I fell in love with all of those things that make her such a damn good friend._

Rolling over again, Asami’s hand landed in the empty spot next to her. Fisting the sheet under her hand, she let herself cry quietly. Maybe it was going to be a bad idea to have Korra come over for games. Asami almost wanted to tell her never mind. Something came up. Almost. If she was being honestly with herself, she wanted Korra to come over now. She wanted to wake up in her arms again, to prove the whole situation nothing but a nightmare.

 _After everything, how is it possible to still.. love you?_  
_______________

Korra didn’t move when she woke up. It’s not that she didn’t want to, it’s that she couldn’t. Everything hurt. She knew she took a beating, but not to this extent. It felt like the day after the first real fight she had even been in. Muscles so sore she didn’t want to move, joints feeling like they were surrounded by cement, the start of a migraine. 

Forcing herself up and grabbing her phone after a few minutes, she slowly limped her way to the bathroom. If Korra had any hopes of making it to the sudden game night, she needed to start waking her body up now and decided a hot bath was the way to start.

-hey. Thanks for coming last night. I really wasn’t expecting it. And.. thanks for inviting me out for dinner. It was nice to see Opal again-

Setting her phone on the edge of the tub, she started getting undressed. The process took much longer than she wanted it to, her body not willing to cooperate much. She finally managed to get herself into the water, turning it off as her phone chimed.

-it was a bit of a... sudden decision. But you’re welcome in both counts. We all did miss you-

-well, I’m here now. So I guess we gotta make this week count. Starting with kicking your ass at some games. After that.. I have no idea. We’ll figure it out-

-you still think you can win? Korra, how many times did you actually beat me when we would play?-

Korra chuckled, very well knowing the answer to that. It wasn’t often. 

-I think I can. I may have gotten a bit better in my absence-

-if you’re so sure... if, and I do mean if, you manage to win... I’ll let you take me on one date-

Korra’s breath hitched as her jaw dropped.

_A.. what? There’s no way. Absolutely no way._

She desperately tried to text back. Anything that could express the shock she was feeling. Eventually, she just gave up and called Asami.

“Yes, Korra?”

“Are you being serious?” 

“I.. am. Th-That’s how sure I am you won’t win”.

_Right.. why did I even think she still had any sort of feelings for me? Cause I’m an idiot. Clearly._

“So life continues as normal if I lose?” Korra didn’t mean to let the mild disappointment color her voice, but of course Asami caught it.

“Yes. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. It’s just.. my knee. Well... really everything just kinda hurts today. She kicked my ass”.

“Korra..” she heard Asami sigh. “You don’t have to come over tonight”.

“I know. I would like to, though. If.. you’ll have me that is”.

Silence fell over them both. It was just another thing they used to say to each other. 

_She’s had me as long as she wanted.. open mouth, insert foot._

“I would love to have you.. come over and join us. Your mom was right, you know. You deserve to have friends”. Korra could tell she was forcing something from her voice. 

“She’s usually right about so much. She just.. knows things. Yeah.. I’ll, uh, be over later. What time?”

“Try to be here around 7. Or after. Or.. whenever, really. I’m not doing much today”.

Korra laughed softly. “Are you trying to get me to come over.. now, Sato?”

“It’s just after noon. So.. Korra, I don’t know what I’m trying to do. What I do know is.. I want to talk to you. Privately. In person”.

Asami had a certain tone suddenly. Maybe Korra was just hearing things and wishing. After all, her ex did just get done saying why she was confident in her bet. Either way, the tone of her voice sent a twinge of desire to between her legs.

“S-so before Opal and Bo show up or?”

“Or after they go to bed. There’s... something I’ve been wanting to show you”.

Korra could end the call, find anyone to take care of her growing issue. Truth was, she grew tired of strangers in her bed. She had tried to date after she had gotten out of the hospital, but no one felt right. 

“Oh? I mean, if you want, I can get dressed and head over”.

_Way to sound eager, dumbass. It’s. Not. Going. There._

“N-now? I still have to get a shower and plan some snacks for you and your hollow leg. Seriously, where do you even put that much food?” 

_Change of subject and rambling. Is she.. nervous?_

“Usually just my stomach, as most people. Well.. get yourself cleaned up. I’ll.. plan for 7 unless you say otherwise. See ya later”.

“See ya”. 

Korra sat in the tub, just staring at her phone for a few moments after Asami had hung up. After setting the phone on the floor next to the tub, she drained some of the water and turned the cold tap on. She needed to get her mind off of wishing for some amazing shower sex. Immediately.  
_____________

Asami flopped back onto her bed, hands over her face. The last thing she could care about was her hair getting the pillows wet. She hated that all she could focus on was how she felt like she was in high school again with her first actual crush on another woman.

Korra wasn’t her first crush or her first girlfriend. Her first kiss or her first time. Suddenly Asami wanted her to be her last. She didn’t want anyone else to fill those gaps that Korra herself had left. And that alone was terrifying. 

-when are you and Bo coming over?-

-probably soon. Should we bring Naga? That wouldn’t be too much, would it?-

-actually.. it might help things. Yeah. You can bring her-

-are you sure you’re okay with this? I can almost feel you freaking out through the phone-

-just.. come over sooner rather than later. And I need to talk to you. Just you. Bo can’t know-

-alright. I’m making him drive himself with Naga later. I’ll be there in a few-

_You’re truly a ride or die, Opal. Except I absolutely hate it when you’re so painfully right about.. things._

Asami got up and made her way to the kitchen to get some snacks prepared. She needed to keep herself busy. Keep her mind from wandering. A knock came, pulling her from her inner turmoil.

_Opal usually just lets herself in.. oh. Oh, shit. She’s.. two hours early?_

Forcing her heart rate to slow as she walked to the front door, she grabbed the handle with a shaky breath. 

_I mean.. I did tell her to come over whenever.._

She opened the door to find Korra sitting on the railing of the porch, back facing her as she stared out over the front yard. 

“I hope.. I’m not too early for you. You, uh, said you wanted to talk, right?” To Asami’s ears, she sounded almost distant. 

“I do. Would you like to come in?”

Asami watched as Korra only shook her head and decided to join her on the porch, forcing herself to keep her distance.

“So.. what’s the big talk of today?”

“As much as I do want to talk to you, Korra, I would like to know what.. that tone is for”. Asami folded her arms in an effort to not immediately comfort her ex.

_Let her prove herself. If she even wants this like I do. Damn it, Korra.. fight for me._

“Sorry.. I just kept trying to convince myself that this is a bad idea. It kinda put me in a bad mood. I can.. go. I don’t wanna be the one to be the downer”.

“Don’t go”. Asami knew the words fell from her lips a little too quick. “Please. Believe it or not.. I was trying to convince myself of the same thing”.

Korra finally looked to her. “Really?” 

Gripping the railing, Asami met Korra’s eyes. “Really. We have so much to talk about and what feels like not enough time. I tried to hate you. I really did”.

“I know. Some of the voicemails you left.. cut pretty deep. I don’t blame you though. You had every reason to say those things”. Korra looked back out over the front yard.

“Korra, I didn’t mean those things”.

“No. You did. At least at the time. And as much as it hurt, I deserved it. I hurt you way worse, broke your trust in me. I don’t expect you to ever forgive me it either, honestly”.

A strange silence fell between them. It wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t exactly comfortable either. Asami knew Korra was aware she was watching her. She still kept her gaze over the lawn.

“Korra?”

“Hm?” 

“Are you sure you want to join us for games? You can go-“

“I’m sure. The hotel is starting to get boring anyhow and if I did anything with mom and dad today, they’d never let me hear the end of how I need to fix my friendships and all that”. She let out a chuckle. “I didn’t think you’d all miss me this much if I’m being honest. Enough to invite me to a game night and all..”

Asami nodded slowly, not exactly sure when she had gotten closer to Korra. “So, um, how are you feeling today?”

Korra gave a shrug. “Just sore. Especially my knee. I’ll be alright though. You wanted to show me something?” She looked to Asami.

“Y-yeah. Let’s go inside”.

Korra eased herself off the railing and let Asami lead them inside. She took a quick look around the living room. Not much had changed. Photographs had been replaced. Instead of pictures of them, there were pictures from a time before Korra had come into her life, ones she hadn’t seen before; completed buildings and new models of cars Korra assumed she had designed, vacations of somewhere warm and sunny. Of course Asami’s family pictures and pictures of her and Opal together were still up.

“Korra?”

“Did you design those?”

Asami shifted nervously next to her. “Yeah. They’re old though. This one,” Asami pointed to one of the buildings, “is the first building I designed without my father’s help. Now, though, it needs to be brought up to the new codes of the city”.

Korra let a small smile make its way to her face. She had always loved when Asami talked about the things she was passionate about. 

“The cars too?”

“A few of them, yes. Some were mostly my dad, but I really liked the design”. She felt Korra place a hand on her shoulder and tensed slightly. It held more affection than she had expected.

“Sorry”. Korra pulled her hand back. “I wasn’t thinking. Just.. you’re so smart and talented. Why didn’t you show me any of these? You’ve come so far”.

“They’re just.. old works. Like you said, I’ve come a long way from all of this. I prefer to focus on what I’m doing now. In a way.. I needed a reminder of the work I used to do compared to the plans I’m currently working on”. Asami turned to face her, slightly surprised Korra had already done the same as their eyes met. 

It seemed words were suddenly lost on both of them. The silence wasn’t awkward or tense. Korra gave a sheepish grin and Asami returned a smile. 

“So.. are you guys going to keep talking or just continue whatever is going on right now?”

They both turned to face Opal, a barely noticeable blush coming to Korra’s cheeks.

“How long have you been standing there?” Asami quickly folded her arms, almost embarrassed that she got caught alone with her ex.

“Long enough to know the ‘reason’ you hung up old pictures of your projects”. Opal raised an eyebrow, glancing between the two. “Invite her over early?”

“We.. needed to talk privately”.

“Right... did you two say what needed to be said?”

Asami looked to Korra. “No. But it can wait”.

“If you’re sure.. Bo should be here with Naga soon-“

Korra looked up to Opal, a large smile on her face. “You guys are bringing Naga?! You totally didn’t have to”.

“I just thought having her here would help put you.. at ease. Just in ca-“ she was taken by surprise as Korra wrapped her in a tight hug. 

Korra dropped her hold on Opal as the sound of the front door opening and dog claws on hardwood reached her. She didn’t have a lot of time to think as Naga came running at her, wagging and whining in excitement. Before the dog could hurt her knee further, she crouched down just before Naga crashed into her. 

“H-hey girl”. Naga was licking away the happy tears that had fallen as Korra wrapped her arms around her neck. “I missed you too. So much. You better have been a good pup for Opal and Bo”.

“She’s a great dog, Korra,” Opal assured her.

Asami watched the reunion of a girl and her dog, fighting tears of her own. This is how things should have been for so long. Korra laughing and smiling, the four of them about to play some games. Glancing back over the pictures of the past, she decided that they also needed to change. Preferably soon.   
_________________

Korra threw the last of her money at Bolin. “You all know how terrible I am at Monopoly! That was just mean!”

“Technically, you’re not out of the game yet”. A smirk came to his face.

“Oh, hell no! We are definitely not playing those rules”. She shot him a glare.

“Is there something I’m missing, dear?” Opal raised her eyebrow.

“Just.. um.. MMA squad rules? Basically, you run out of money and clothing is the new form of payment. Until half the people playing are out. So..”

“Come on, Korra! Bo’s almost out anyhow. You probably won’t lose much”. A smirk came to Opal’s face as she looked to Asami who’s jaw had slightly dropped and a blush was appearing.

“Spirits... we all literally just started hanging out again and you already want me naked?”

“Are you ashamed of something, Chief?”

Korra shot Opal a glare. “Absolutely not. I know I look at least halfway decent. There’s just..” Korra’s expression softened as she looked to Asami. “Asami, are you okay with this? I can take the loss without-“

“It’s fine!” Asami’s response was quick. She was secretly more than okay with it. As Korra raised her eyebrow at the speed at which she responded to being okay with the new rules, she swallowed hard.

“You sure?”

“Y-yeah. It’s all good”. 

Korra tried to pay attention to the game as Opal took her turn, purchasing another landmark. Her eyes kept wandering back to Asami. She was dressed comfortably; a hoodie that was only slightly too big for her and a pair of sweats that looked a little familiar.

_Aren’t those... mine?! What the fuck? Oh, yeah. We have a lot to talk about later. Bet she didn’t think I’d notice.._

“Korra?”

“Huh?”

“Your turn. Are you okay?” Asami had a concerned tone. She was still a little nervous when her ex would zone out. Even after all this time.

Korra scratched Naga’s head as the dog adjusted. “Right.. and yeah, I’m alright. Still just a little weird to all be hanging out and not fighting”. With her free hand, she rolled the dice and moved her spaces. 

Opal broke a brief moment of silence with a laugh as Korra landed on a space Asami had added a hotel to. With a sigh, Korra stood slowly.

“What do I owe you?” She forced a smirk down at the pink in Asami’s cheeks.

“J-just the shirt”.

“You have a hotel on that space and all you want is the shirt?”

“It’s not like you’re wearing a ton of clothing as it is, so yes. Just the shirt”. 

Asami tried to not stare as Korra pulled her shirt off, but failed. Miserably. She hated to admit how attractive her ex was. Her eyes finally landed to the bruising on her ribs, relieved to find something to look at that wouldn’t fully add to the twinge of desire. She barely caught the shirt as Korra tossed it to her before easing herself back to sitting.

_Why did I say this was okay? Damn it, Bo._

As the game continued, Korra was able to win some money back. Bolin had tried to charge her for her pants for landing on one of his properties even though she had enough to pay him. It earned him a headlock and the fake cash stuffed in his mouth and a round of laughter from Asami and Opal.

By the end of the game, Asami had just barely beaten Bolin who had made a comeback. Korra ended up losing her pants to Opal near the end, much to Asami’s both pleasure and displeasure. 

“Truth or dare?”

“No! Absolutely not, Opal,” Asami grumbled as she returned the game to the shelf. She knew where that would end up.

“Truth,” Korra’s voice was oddly firm, partially hoping Opal would ask her anything related to her absence.

“Korra-“

“Were you ever considering coming back to stay?”

Korra chewed her lip for a moment, slipping her pants back on. “Yeah. I actually was for a little while. Then I got an offer to fight for our team down there and well..” she gave a shrug, “Asami? Truth or dare?”

“I’m not playing”.

“Lame. Come on. I won’t make it bad”. Korra gave her a pout after getting her shirt back on.

“Fine,” Asami sighed. “Truth”.

“Have you... no. Wait.. um.. do you actually enjoy being a CEO?”

“I do.. for the most part. I just miss working with my hands most of the day instead of paperwork and meetings. Bo, truth or dare?”

“Um.. dare?”

“Call.. Mako, sing happy birthday as soon as he answers, and hang up with no explanation. Ignore him for the rest of the night”.

“Easy! If.. he answers”.

“Call until he does”.

Bolin ended up having to call Mako four times before he answered. After he did his dare, Mako immediately called back for an explanation but all his calls went to voicemail.

“Asami, truth or dare?”

“Hmmm.. truth”.

“Boring. But.. do you still have feelings for Korra?”

Korra and Asami locked eyes as she stammered for a moment. “I... I said I wasn’t playing.”

“Answer the question!”

Asami shot Bolin a glare, pulling off her hoodie and throwing it at him, followed by an empty chip bowl. “No. Because it wouldn’t be a fully truthful answer! I don’t know..”

Korra didn’t know whether or not to smile. It wasn’t exactly the hard no that she was expecting. 

_Is there really a possibility she feels the same?_

“Fine. Korra-“

“Truth”.

“Have you dated anyone else?”

Korra froze for a moment, seeing Asami’s expression shift to one of almost jealousy for a moment. 

_Make this right. Tell the truth._

“I-I tried. It never worked.. Opal, truth or dare?”

“Truth”.

“Did you want to play this to back us into a corner?” She narrowed her eyes at her briefly.

“Okay, smartass, you got me. We don’t have to play anymore”.

“It’s getting late.. I should probably get back to the hotel so you all can get some sleep”. Korra wrapped her arms around Naga, definitely not wanting to leave as she was actually having a good time. But she also didn’t want to feel like she was wearing out her stay.

“You don’t have to go”.

Korra looked up at Asami. “I probably should though-“

“Korra, stay the night. I have plenty of guest rooms- but you knew that..” Asami gave Opal a look, silently telling her to get Bolin and get to bed.

Watching as the couple headed upstairs, Korra sighed. “Which room are they in?”

“The first one down the left hall. Why?”

“I don’t want to intrude any more than I already am. I’ll just..” Korra stood, “take the front one in the other hall. If that’s okay with you, having me in the same hallway and all. If not, I’ll take the couch. Are you sure you want me spending the night?”

“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I wasn’t okay with it”.

“Right.. well.. goodnight, Asami”.

Asami watched as Korra slowly made her way up stairs with Naga in tow, going towards the familiar hallway they both knew so well. After hearing the door close, she let out a frustrated groan. 

_Why is it still so damn hard to talk to you? Maybe I’m just shoving my feelings for you down. That’s it, they’re in bed. We’re talking._

She went to the door of the room Korra had chosen and knocked. As the door opened, she pushed Korra back into the room and closed the door behind her. 

“Can I.. help you?”

“Can we talk? Please? Opal and Bo are in bed. I.. I’m getting tired of waiting. You’re more than welcome to go back to the hotel after this if you want”.

“Yeah. We can talk. What’s-“ Korra held her cheek where her ex’s hand had just landed in disbelief.

“So maybe I am still absolutely livid with you, okay? I’m hurt, Korra. I understand how you thought Kuvira was me or whatever. But it still hurts. I made a fucking ring for you! I wanted to marry you!”

She was still in shock Asami had actually slapped her. Not saying anything, she wanted her ex to continue. To let it all out.

“Okay. I know I shouldn’t have just slapped you like that. I’m sorry. But damn it all, Korra! When I found those necklace pieces.. and knew how serious you were at one time about us.. I want to forgive you. I want to trust you again. I want you back!” Asami gave up on fighting the tears, on hiding how she was feeling. 

Korra nodded slowly, lowering her hand from her face. She truly didn’t know what to say or do, what would be too much.

“Fucking say something!” Asami grabbed her by the shoulders. 

Korra let her eyes meet Asami’s, trying to not let her own tears show. “I want you back too, Asami. I really do. But if you don’t trust me.. what can I do? What do I need to do to get that trust back? To get you back?”

“Anything,” she whispered. “Korra, you’re healthy now. You got the help you needed. I.. I got the help I needed too. I thought I was over you. I tried dating again. I thought I was happy. Spirits, Korra, all I was missing was you”.

“I did try to date again too.. none of it felt real, though. I.. I wanted you. I still do. But-“

“Shut the fuck up”. Asami grabbed her face, kissing her hard. 

It felt like everything had fallen back into place once Korra had gotten past the shock and kissed back. She knew she shouldn’t have. They had been apart for so long and she didn’t fully trust her yet. Asami just needed something more to get her point across, that she really wanted this back. 

Korra was the one to break the kiss, hands remaining on Asami’s waist. “Asami.. we shouldn’t. As much as I want to-“

“Then please, just let this happen. Let us happen. I hate that I.. love you. After everything.. the drugs, alcohol, cheating, you running away.. I shouldn’t. I should absolutely hate your guts and never want to see you again”. Asami brushed away a tear that had escaped off of Korra’s cheek.

“So.. what do we tell people? Are we together or not?”

“We’re... working on it. That’s what I want to call this for now”.

“We’re in limbo? I guess.. I guess I can deal with that. Can I kiss you again?”

“Stop asking stupid questions,” Asami whispered before pulling Korra into another, yet gentler kiss. 

“I missed you”.

“I missed you too, Korra. But I’m still mad at you. Spirits, I’m still so mad at you”. Asami grabbed her chin almost roughly, making sure their eyes locked.

“That’s.. understandable,” Korra whispered. “I really fucked up. I have.. no excuses for any of it. The truth is, I hurt you. So often. But I think that time apart is going to prove good for us. We needed it”.

“I think I can agree to that. I’m just.. I’m glad you finally got help. I couldn’t force you to do it. You had to do that on your own, realize it by yourself. And you did”.

“And you’re still pissed. Which is okay. I really don’t expect you to forgive me for any of it”. Korra’s eyes flicked down to Asami’s lips briefly.

“Maybe someday. Just be honest with me. Talk to me. I know your medicine won’t ever cure your mental health problems. You’re still going to have bad days. Just.. fucking talk to me and be honest. That’s all I ask. And.. don’t you dare ever cheat again. A break up was nothing compared to what I could have done”.

Korra swallowed hard. She knew Asami felt it and the way her jaw twitched. There was one thing she could say she was terrified of: a royally pissed off Asami. She had accepted she really did deserve the slap. And knew that was minor compared to what her now sort of ex could do to her if she wanted. 

“I’ll.. I’ll talk to you more. It’s still kinda difficult, I don’t want to say the wrong thing or whatever. Um.. A-Asami?” A slight shudder ran through her body as Asami’s hand left her chin and fingers trailed her jaw and down her neck.

She didn’t respond. Asami was trying so hard to not just throw Korra to the floor and have her way with her. She wanted there to be consent and Korra still seemed hesitant. Her hand found the collar of her shirt and tugged gently.

“Asami,” Korra whispered sharply, “we shouldn’t. We’re in limbo. Listen, I still have feelings for you and I want you back-“

Asami pulled her into a deep kiss by the collar roughly. She didn’t want to use words. Words meant she was fully admitting to still, for some reason, being in love with Korra. 

_Please, Korra, just let go of your inhibitions. Just for tonight._

“Listen,” Asami whispered against her lips, “I want you. And only you. Come to bed again. Even if it’s just for tonight”.

“A-are you sure?” Korra’s grip tightened slightly on Asami’s waist. “Asami.. we both know we shouldn’t be doing this. Not this.. soon”.

“I don’t care. I want to prove to you how much I want you back. And I need you to prove to me that you actually do want the same. That you’re not going to just run off without a single word again. That you’re.. going to be honest with me. Please, come to bed”.

She let a small, lopsided smile come to her face. Asami wanted her. Korra had been worried for little reason that she didn’t feel the same. She should have known those quick glances meant something more.

“Then I want you to be honest with me, Sato. Do you still have feelings for me? You never answered during truth or dare”.

Asami hesitated for a moment. “Yes. Yes, I do. I don’t think I ever truly stopped. I just tried to.. distract myself all this time. No other man or woman has made me feel the way you always have”.

_I love you. Damn it. I still fucking love you._

“Let’s.. get to bed then. Even if it’s just for tonight”. Korra let Asami lead her to her bedroom, making sure to close the door before Naga could join. Asami just wanted it to be the two of them.

Before Korra had time to think or bail on Asami’s idea, she found herself pinned against the wall with Asami’s lips on hers again. Her arms wrapped around Asami’s neck, silently asking for more as she let herself nip her bottom lip. The response was a tongue sliding into her mouth with hunger as a hand slipped under her shirt and what Korra only hoped was an almost silent moan.

Asami’s fingers traced the outline of muscle on Korra’s stomach, her other hand on her lower back and pulling her closer. She was torn between letting this be gentle and being rough and angry. In a moment, she started trailing open mouthed kisses down Korra’s neck, earning a soft whimper as she slid her hands behind her thighs and lifting. 

“Yes, I can still carry you”.

“Never said you couldn’t, Asami”. She tried to continue the kissing, but was taken by mild surprise as the wall left her back and was soon replaced by the bed. 

She didn’t say anything as she looked into Korra’s eyes. Asami felt like she had come home. Part of her hated it. The other, more dominant part was relieved. Relieved Korra still felt the same about her. Relieved that maybe, just maybe, things were going to be okay.

“You know... we don’t have to.. ya know..”

“Korra.. I know. Do you not want to?” Asami placed a soft kiss to her lips.

“Oh, trust me, I definitely do. But..” Korra ran her hands down her sides, “.. I don’t want this to feel like some hookup. Like we have sex and things get weird between us until I go back home.. I don’t do hookups anymore”.

Asami was slightly surprised at that confession. She knew how Korra could be, she had even told her she would hookup without issue in the past. 

“This wouldn’t be some.. hookup”.

“After I go home, I don’t know when I’ll be back again, Asami. It’s.. complicated. I want this, want you. But what happens when I go home?” Korra had a sudden look of sadness in her eyes. 

Asami cursed herself for not accounting for that. She had completely forgotten that Korra wasn’t here to stay, yet. And she didn’t know when she would be back. That simple fact alone almost made Asami want to fuck her brains out then and there. Almost. Korra was hesitant. And she wasn’t going to force the issue.

“We keep in contact, okay? No more of the radio silence”. Asami reluctantly got off of Korra, laying next to her. “We try to fix this, even over distance. And you try to get your ass back here as soon as you can, got it?”

Korra frowned slightly at Asami’s movement. She hated to admit that she was at war with herself. She wanted her, bad. But that annoying part of kept telling her not yet, and she couldn’t figure out how to get that part to just shut up. Rolling to her side, she gently touched Asami’s cheek. 

“I’m sorry, Asami. I know you want to, and so do I.. it’s just-“

“Shhh. You don’t need to explain why you’re still hesitant. I can understand”. She covered Korra’s hand on her cheek. “I’m more than okay just... sleeping next to you again”.

Korra’s face lit up with a smile. Pulling Asami close, she rested her forehead against hers. There was a small flicker of sadness in Asami’s eyes, knowing that after this week Korra would be going back home without a known date she would come back.

“Hey, I can extend my stay if you want. It’s not a big deal”.

“No. No, don’t do that just for me. Sure, I’ll miss you like crazy-“

Korra silenced her with a kiss. “It wouldn’t be just for you. It’d be for you, Opal, Bo, Pema, Kya, myself.. Asami, I ran away from so many people. I have a lot to fix. Even... even if you’re kinda suddenly my priority. Now that I know you do actually feel the same about me”.

Asami cuddled herself closer to Korra. Even if she wanted so much more than just sleep, she was content in the other woman’s arms again. She had the rest of this week after all. Before letting sleep set in, she gave Korra several kisses as if she would wake up alone in bed and all of this being a dream. 

As sleep overtook them both, Asami couldn’t help but think that everything was actually going to work out. Someday, Korra would move back to the city. Someday she would fully trust her again. Someday she would forgive her. And for now, just having her in the same bed, in her arms, was a great start. She felt like she was home and safe. A smile came to her face.

_Everything is going to work out. Somehow._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really do be saying SIKE on the makeup smut tho 😅😈 
> 
> At least some ✨feelings✨ were admitted


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get heated when Korra gets, well.. heated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FORGIVE ME FOR I HAVE SINNED
> 
> Not even sorry. Not even a little.

Korra woke suddenly in the middle of the night, sweating. If it was a nightmare, she couldn’t remember it. But her heart wasn’t racing and she wasn’t terrified. And then she noticed the warm body next to her, a head on her chest. And what seemed to be one too many blankets, even if it was just one that was covering them. She wasn’t used to the extra warmth in a place that was already much warmer than her home.

Trying to not move too much and accidentally wake the woman in her arms, she managed to kick the blanket off of her feet. Everything was way too warm. She let out a quiet huff, uncovering the side of her body that wasn’t occupied by Asami. They were finally sleeping together again after years of being apart. The last thing she wanted was to wake her up just because she was too hot. It would have been a stupid reason. And Asami seemed perfectly comfortable with the warmth in the bed.

As Korra stared at the ceiling, she couldn’t help but think of how the next few days were going to fly by. How she would be returning to the South with her parents far too soon. How she would be leaving her friends again for a mostly unknown amount of time. Most importantly, how she would be leaving Asami behind. Again. She knew they would talk every day. But it still hurt. Korra didn’t want to leave. Not again. But realistically, she had chieftain duties back home she couldn’t just simply ignore because she actually had a fighting chance with her ex girlfriend. 

_I should bring her down with me. At least for a bit. But... she has Future Industries here. I can’t ask her to just drop her company like that. No way. Why does this have to be so damn difficult?_

Korra tightened her grip around Asami’s waist. She never wanted to let her go again. She would do anything to officially get her back and keep her. And she meant anything. Even if Asami asked the worst of her. Feeling the woman in her arms stir slightly, Korra tenderly ran the back of her hand across Asami’s cheek.

“Kor...?”

She let a faint smile come to her face. Asami had never used a nickname with her before. “I’m okay. Go back to sleep”.

“You’re never awake before me. And it’s the middle of the night. What’s wrong?” Asami shifted herself slightly, running her hand up Korra’s arm until she intertwined fingers with the hand against her cheek. “You’re sweating”.

“Honestly. I’m okay. Just a little too warm”.

“Open the window if you want. Why didn’t you wake me up?” Asami propped herself onto her elbow, letting Korra sit up.

“You were comfortable”. She gave a shrug. “And, from what I remember, you enjoy my body heat. I wasn’t about to wake you up for something so.. dumb”.

“Seriously?” Asami rolled her eyes. “And from what I remember we usually, almost always, had the window at least somewhat cracked so you wouldn’t overheat”.

Korra got up and cracked the window slightly. She let herself stare out the window and over the back yard for a few moments. The more she thought, the more she truly didn’t want to leave again. She felt like she was already home, even if being in Asami’s bedroom was still a little awkward and a touch sensitive. 

“Korra?” Asami had gotten up and joined Korra by the window. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“No..” it was barely audible as Asami rested her hand between Korra’s shoulder blades. “Asami, I don’t wanna go back. Not yet. We just started to fix.. this. There’s no way I can completely make this right again in a few days. I just-“

Asami pulled her into a hug as her voice broke, tears she had clearly been fighting for a while making themselves known. “Shhhh.. it’s okay. Korra, I don’t think you could completely make absolutely everything right for a while. We’re just starting out again. You can’t just.. stay here and neglect your responsibilities back home for spirits knows how long”.

_Except.. maybe you could make something right by the time you have to go back. I know how competitive you can get._

“Y-you want me to go?”

“Geez. No, Kor. I don’t. I want you to stay. But.. I also know you have some responsibilities back home. You are a chief, you know. I don’t want to keep you from that”. She gave a soft kiss to the top of Korra’s head. “I would love to have you move back.”

Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Korra wrapped her arms around Asami’s waist. She hadn’t meant to have the tears come. All she wanted was for more time. More time to relearn Asami. More time to hold her at night. More time to make her mistakes as right as she possibly could. She wasn’t exactly expecting them to be dating again by the time she left, but she wanted to at least know there was that chance.

Korra wiped her eyes with the back of her hand before looking to Asami. She could see tears in her eyes as she looked out the window, biting her lip.

“Asami? You okay?” She whispered before placing a gentle kiss to her cheek.

“I don’t completely know. I just don’t want you to leave again”. She let out a sad chuckle. “I guess I missed you more than I ever cared to admit”.

“It’s clearly more than just that.. what’s going on inside that head of yours?”

Asami pushed Korra to arms length gently, still holding her shoulders. “Game night, Korra. I brought up Mako of all people. I could have had Bo call anyone and I chose him? Spirits, you just get back and I do that? I’m sorry”.

“Really? It’s not that big of a deal, Asami. It’s not like you made me call his dumb ass. Besides.. having him confused for the rest of the night is pretty worth it. I mean, the look on Bo’s face when he wouldn’t stop blowing his phone up? I ain’t even mad”. 

Asami nodded slowly. She had so much more on her mind, but didn’t quite want to voice any of it. She felt terrible for the things she had said when she was mad, even just bringing Mako up now reminded her of what she had done to Korra without thinking. Maybe she still did have some repressed anger she needed to work through.

“Korra.. are you still tired?”

“Not tired enough to get right back to sleep if you wanna talk”. Korra pressed her nose to Asami’s neck as she wrapped her in a hug. Asami was upset. It was her turn to do the comforting for a change, she was okay enough to at least do that.

“I... I hit you. I really shouldn’t have. And don’t you dare say you deserved it. I’ve told you before, no one deserves that. And yet I just go and do it. Sorry.. doesn’t even begin to fix that. Not after everything you went through”. Asami held the back of Korra’s head, her other arm wrapping around her upper back. She didn’t want her to see that she was crying. 

Korra sighed against Asami’s shoulder, slightly tightening her arms around her waist. The honesty of everything was going to be painful for a little while. They both had some air to clear. It wasn’t going to be pleasant, but the honesty was needed. And so far, Asami had started it. She admitted even she had already done something she shouldn’t have.

“Okay.. so, yeah. It wasn’t okay for you to do that. At all. Even if you are still pissed off with me. And yeah, it kinda hurt.. considering I thought you would never do.. that. Can we make each other a promise?”

“S-sure,” Asami whispered. Maybe now she understood how Korra felt when she broke her trust. The guilt. The self questioning on why she did it. Maybe things weren’t completely different between them.

Korra knew Asami had started crying. She knew she felt bad. “Let’s stop hurting each other, okay? It might take a moment to figure out what that entails.. but we can let it start as I’ll never cheat on you again, and you don’t ever put your hands on me like that again. Deal?”

“I can even make a contract for that and sign it in blood if you want. Yes. Spirits, yes it’s a deal. I’m.. I’m so sorry, Kor. And.. don’t let it just slide, I know how you are”. Asami pushed her back slightly, noticing they were both in tears now. “I fucked up, okay?”

“And I did too. Years ago. I’m.. willing to call it even as long as none of it ever happens again. And I mean ever. I’m.. not afraid of you. Just afraid of being the target of your fury. Cause.. damn, Asami. You pissed off is hot until it’s directed me”.

“Korra-“

“I know, I know. Stop making a joke of it and minimizing it and all that”. Korra let out a huff. “Anything else you wanna clear up?”

“I.. meant it when I said I had slept around a lot. It wasn’t anything to try to make you jealous. It was nothing but honesty”. Asami kissed Korra’s forehead. “I really, really tried to forget about you. That’s.. why I hung up the pictures of my old projects. They were from a time way before you came into my life. I tried to use it as a reset”.

“A distraction? I.. get that. I changed my room around back home. Got all new furs and blankets. Donated the old ones. Ya know.. that night I accidentally answered your call.. I almost jumped off the cliffs”. Korra looked away from Asami. The truth hurt, but she needed to be honest, eventually tell her everything. 

Asami took Korra’s face in her hands gently, making their eyes meet. The sadness in those blue eyes made Asami’s heart ache. She knew this was a conversation that needed to happen, she just hated the pain that had to come along with it. 

“Are you saying that phone call stopped you?”

“Not exactly. It was during the Lights. I had asked the spirits for a sign to hold on or strength to just jump and get it over with. I never checked the caller ID before I answered. I really did think it was my mom or dad. But.. after it ended up being you, I knew it was a sign to hold on”.

Tucking a piece of Korra’s hair behind her ear, Asami whispered, “as pissed off as I was with you, I’m glad you listened to the spirits. If you hadn’t..”

“I wouldn’t be here trying to fix this. And so much would have gone left unsaid. What about you? What was your lowest point, when you decided to get help?”

Asami led them back to the bed to lay down, having an idea that Korra’s knee was starting to bother her by the way she kept shifting. 

“When I seriously started considering using more than work, alcohol, and sex to cope..”

“D-drugs? Asami.. I-“

“Yes.. I considered it, but never actually went through with those thoughts. That’s when I actually started to see Tenzin. Opal had been pressing me into it, I just never wanted to. I was convinced what I was doing was working. I wasn’t sad, angry, happy.. I went numb”. Asami continued to stare at the ceiling even as Korra rolled onto her side next to her.

“I.. uh.. relapsed pretty bad myself. Enough where my mom found out. I’m kinda surprised she didn’t tell you”.

“You’re.. not mad your mom and I had talked on occasion?”

“No. I’m actually kinda thankful for it”.

“Korra..?”

“Yeah?”

Asami rolled to her side to face Korra. “Ask me out on a date”.

“Uhm.. what? Asami, I lost. The deal was I had to win”.

“I was the first one to ask you out. It’s your turn. And I only made that.. deal because I was afraid of my feelings for you. Now that they’re out in the open.. that deal is voided”.

Korra shot her a smile. “Wanna go get dinner? I mean we already talked about doing something this week together so... what day?”

“Well,” Asami reached out, stroking her cheek. “You fly back home Friday morning. How about.. Wednesday when I get off work?”

“Sounds... like a date. Where would you like to go?”

“Oh, no,” Asami laughed. “That’s not how dates work. You take me somewhere. Anywhere you want”.

“Hmmm..” Korra stuck out her bottom lip in thought.

“Don’t think too hard. You’ll end up hurting yourself”. She knew Korra caught the chuckle that escaped her.

“Hey! Not funny. I’m trying to make this ri-“

Korra’s eyes fluttered closed at the kiss she was pulled into. It was the kind Asami always used to get her to shut up and stop thinking. And it always worked. Their lips moved effortlessly against each other’s, like it was always meant to be. 

_How could I be so damn stupid to let this go.. to hurt her the way I did.._

Her hands wandered down Asami’s sides, fingers eventually toying with the waistband of her sweats. 

“Hey,” she whispered softly against her lips, “aren’t these mine? I thought you didn’t have feelings for me up until a little while ago”.

“So maybe I lied a little. No one else needs to know yet. Just us. Is it a problem, me wearing your clothes? Do you want me to take them off?” Asami ran a finger along Korra’s shoulder and down her bicep.

“You tease me, Sato. You really do”. She was having an incredibly hard time stuffing the desire down and out of her voice. Korra knew it would likely be a bad idea for them to have sex again this soon, but she really did want to.

“You love it. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you’ve been eyeing me. You want to, don’t you?” She held Korra’s chin, thumb running along her bottom lip. “Don’t be shy now”.

Korra swallowed thickly. Of course she wanted this. She’s had plenty of dreams and fantasies about her. And the fact she hadn’t slept with a single soul in a few months wasn’t helping in the slightest. She could only do so much with her own hands and it was never the same as someone else. Especially if that someone else was Asami.

“I d-do. But..” she tried to look anywhere but the green eyes in front of her, the hand holding her chin making it difficult with how close their faces were.

“But what, Korra? This.. won’t be some hookup if that’s what you’re worried about. You can go home, get whatever it is you need to do done, and move back. We’ll have all the time in the world then”.

Korra let a quiet groan slip as she felt Asami’s free hand trail painfully slow down her sternum and stomach. She was fighting to not give in. Her heart and body wanted this, wanted a sense of normalcy. But her brain just wouldn’t shut up, nagging that it was too soon.

_We’ve had sex before. So much sex. We dated for a while and wanted to get married. This shouldn’t be so hard to just give in. I want this. I want her. Always._

Her breathing grew slightly quicker as Asami’s lips fell just below her ear. She knew her heart was racing. 

“Korra,” Asami shifted so she was straddling her, whispering against her ear, “let go. It’s okay. This won’t be a one time thing”. 

Korra knew her hands were trembling as she slowly pushed Asami’s shirt up, flattening her palms against her lower back. “I’m j-just worried that it’s t-too soon-“ she let out a deep moan as she felt teeth make contact with the side of her neck, right where it drove her crazy.

“I can assure you it’s not. We’re working through this, finally. And damn it, Korra.. I haven’t had sex in months”.

“W-why not? You’ve been c-completely eligible-“ her breath hitched with a slight gasp at the teeth and hot breath suddenly at the shell of her ear.

“Have you not been listening? I don’t want anyone else. I want you, Korra. As bad as you fucked up and as angry as I am with you for it, it’s always been you”. 

Asami sat back on her heels, studying the woman under her. Korra wanted this, she could see it in her eyes. Feel her fighting her hips from grinding up. The amount of restraint Korra was showing was impressive for how worked up she was, normally she would be flat out begging by now.

“Promise?”

“Of course. From now on. Unless you decide otherwise”. Asami leaned forward again, bracing her hands on either side of Korra’s head and letting her hair fall off to one side. “If it’s too much-“

“I’ll let you know. Let’s start our date early”.

Asami pulled back just before their lips met, eyebrow raised. “I know this is going to be some sort of joke.. but I kinda want to hear it”.

Korra gave a crooked smile, faint blush tinting her cheeks. “Let’s both take a trip.. south”.

Rolling her eyes, Asami gave an amused sigh, “you’re such a dork. But I love that idea”.

It seemed that’s all Asami needed to say to destroy the last bit of Korra’s resolve and inhibitions. As she bucked her hips, it threw Asami off balance enough for their lips to crash together. She felt a smirk on Korra’s lips through the heated kiss as she trailed her hands up her back, finding she wasn’t wearing a bra. Not that she had even been wearing one all day. 

Asami received a small whimper as she bit down on Korra’s bottom lip, taking the moment she opened her mouth to start a battle of tongues. Korra raised her hips into her again and Asami shifted so her thigh was pressed against her core. 

“Hey! Come back,” Korra all but whined as Asami rolled back to sit on her knees, still straddling her leg.

“You’re wearing too many clothes”. Asami made quick work of Korra’s tank top, letting her eyes rake over her upper body. 

She smiled as she watched Korra’s chest rise and fall in arousal. Korra was definitely all worked up and for a moment, she was happy it was thanks to her. 

_It should have always been me doing this to you. Making you squirm. Getting you all worked up. Not those other girls... or even.. boys._

Korra looked into green eyes, her heart rate increasing at the look she saw. She could only describe it as lustful jealousy. And she wasn’t quite sure why.

“A-Asami? We don’t have to.. if you’re having second thoughts..”

“Stop talking. I’m not having any sort of second thoughts. If anything, I’m thinking about making you completely forget about anyone else you’ve fucked”.

Korra’s jaw dropped, eyes growing a little wider in surprise at the very sudden change in Asami’s tone. It was terrifying in the most arousing way. She was practically melting under the blazing green stare. Asami was mad, and Korra was more than ready for her punishment. 

She swallowed hard as Asami pulled her shirt off. Korra let her eyes travel over her torso. She had always thought Asami was gorgeous, but it seemed after two and a half years she had somehow managed to become even more so. 

“Like what you see?”

All she could manage was a quick nod as her mouth went dry. Pulling Asami to straddle her hips, she held her thighs as she rocked her hips up. If words were going to fail her, she might as well try to show the woman on top of her just how much she was loving what she was seeing. Just how ready she was.

“Sit up”. Asami’s voice was commanding as she tugged Korra to a sitting position by her chest wrap, bringing their faces inches apart.

“H-hey”. 

“Tell me, Korra,” Asami whispered almost harshly as she slowly began unwrapping Korra’s chest, “how many others after the... mishap with Kuvira were there?”

“U-Uhm.. I.. lost count”. A shudder ran through her body as Asami let the last of the wrap fall away and brushed her thumbs around her nipples.

“Hm. So they weren’t very memorable?” She gave Korra’s nipples a rough pinch, earning a hiss of pleasure of her, before grabbing ahold of her jaw and forcing eye contact. A small part of her felt guilty for just how much she was enjoying this.

“Well..” Korra let out an airy chuckle. “I was usually either.. d-drunk or high-“ 

Asami hushed her with a finger to her lips. “Not exactly something I would be admitting..” She put Korra’s hands behind her back, using her wrap to tie her hands together skillfully, without needing to look. “... given your current predicament”.

Korra’s face grew red as she was pushed back down. She knew all she would have to say is to stop if she was uncomfortable. Something about her predicament, as Asami put it, turned her on that much more. If that was even possible at this point.

“A-Asami.. please. St-stop teasing”. A low, pleading groan fell from her lips as Asami started trailing kisses and soft bites along her neck and collarbones.

She tried to raise her hips into the woman on top of her, desperately seeking friction. But Asami wasn’t about to let that happen so easily as she shifted and pinned her hips to the bed, slightly pressing her thumbs against the peak of her hip bones.

“Now, that’s no way to prove how sorry you are”. Asami smirked at the pleading whimper that came from Korra as she got up off of the bed. 

She watched as Korra started to squirm, rubbing her thighs together for some sort of relief. Asami started to take her sweats off, noticing her scooting herself to be sitting. As much as she wanted to tell her to lay back down and wait, a different thought came to mind. One that would leave Korra begging and apologizing, even if deep down Asami believed how sorry for everything she was.

Korra watched as Asami tossed her sweats and panties off to the side, eyes focused on the string of arousal that had slowly started to drip from her folds. Her mouth went impossibly drier at the sight of how soaked Asami was. For her. 

“H-has anyone.. else ever, um..” she was stammering, but she needed to get the question out in an effort to curb her own jealousy.

“Spit it out, Korra. Has anyone else ever.. what?” She knew exactly what Korra was referring to. Instead of just answering, she sat at the foot of the bed facing the other woman.

“Uhm.. made you so... fucking soaked?”

“Nope. You’re the only one who has ever managed.. this”. 

Asami let Korra watch as she slowly circled her own clit, a soft sigh escaping her. She could see Korra starting to fight the restraint around her wrists, clearly wanting to touch her. Drive her crazy with pleasure like she had so many times in the past. 

“Asami.. please. Please let me take care of you. I’m here now. Y-you don’t have to do this yourself anymore,” Korra begged as she watched Asami slid two fingers into herself, hips bucking into her own hand. 

As much as she wanted to get her own release, all that came to mind was proving to Asami how sorry she was for everything. Especially for never talking to her about what happened and then just running away. She wanted to prove that she wasn’t going to run off without a word ever again. Prove that she had changed for the better. Prove that she wanted a deep and meaningful relationship. 

Asami smirked deviously as she slid her fingers out of herself and moving to sit on Korra’s lap, her core pressed against her stomach. 

“Did you miss the way I taste, Korra?” Asami whispered, running her wet fingers over Korra’s lips. She let Korra take her fingers into her mouth, reveling in the moan that came from her.

Korra bucked her hips slightly, causing Asami’s clit to rub against her stomach. She smirked at the surprised whimper that she was finally able to get out of her. Asami made it very clear that she still had the upper hand as she tangled a hand into Korra’s hair, tugging sharply. She crashed their lips together in a heated, deep kiss as a low moan tore through Korra’s throat. 

Asami could tell something primal was about to snap in Korra. She was losing control of her desire with the roll of Asami’s hips, her lower stomach getting wetter with each pass. Feeling another tug at the back of her head, she bucked her hips up again as she tugged against the wrap that was holding her hands behind her back. 

“Has anyone else made you feel like this? Turned you on so much you’re about to break?” Asami pushed Korra back into a reclined position, kissing down her neck and chest until she came to an already stiffened nipple.

“N-no! Asami, no. It’s only ever been you. Even when I would touch myself, all I could see was your eyes. Your smile. Just.. you”. Korra’s eyes snapped shut as a gasp of pleasure left her mouth as Asami but down gently on her nipple. 

“Mmmm... how about when you slept with someone else?” Asami continued trailing her lips downward, moaning quietly as she tasted herself mixed with the small amount of sweat Korra had over her skin when she reached her abs.

“I.. I tried to forget you. It never worked. I couldn’t keep you out of my head. I would get so fucked up so I could just.. not see and feel.. you”.

“Korra..” Asami’s eyes met brilliant blues. There was so much truth laying under the lust.

“I’m so sorry, Asami. So incredibly sorry”. She struggled against the restraints again. “Let me prove it to you. Make it all up to you. Please”.

Asami gave a warm smile before hooking her fingers under the top of Korra’s pants and underwear, tugging them down together. She gave each of Korra’s hips a kiss before sitting back to tug her bottoms off the rest of the way.

“My, my. You are all worked up,” Asami breathed out, lightly running a couple fingers through Korra’s dripping folds. 

Korra couldn’t fight her hips any longer and bucked her hips against Asami’s fingers. She let out pleading moan as two nimble fingers teased at her opening.

“Should I.. untie you now? Have I punished you enough?” Asami knelt between Korra’s legs, easing them around her own hips.

“P-please. Spirits, please. I want to touch you, feel you. Be with you. Baby, I’m so sorry for everything. I fucked up. Please..”

Asami could hear tears coming forward. Korra was truly regretful of her past. She was sorry, begging for forgiveness. A second chance. The pleading was nearly heartbreaking. And Korra caved, called her ‘baby’ again. That alone had Asami’s heart fluttering. The want to torture her ex girlfriend faded, replaced suddenly by a want to comfort her and give her the release she was desperately craving. 

“C’mere..” Asami helped Korra back to sitting, untying her hands and tossing the wrap to the side. “Was.. that too much?”

“N-no. We can talk.. after. Right now, I just want you. In any way I’m able to”. 

Asami eased her back to laying down, leaving soft bites along her jaw. She knew at least one of them was going to leave a mark, not that she cared. Korra was hers again, even if she wasn’t ready to fully admit to it. And she was so riled up, it wouldn’t take long to finish her off. Asami knew that much from experience.

“Well.. I think I’m going to have you first”. She gave a few kisses down her stomach. “I missed you, Korra. All of you”.

_Even if we’re not really together yet.. Broken bits and all. You still need to see the ring, but that’s a talk for our next date._

Korra moaned in pleasure and relief as Asami effortlessly slid two fingers in, all the way to her knuckles. She waited a moment for Korra’s body to get used to her fingers again before starting a slow rhythm, which her hips quickly matched. 

As much as Asami wanted to drag this out, she knew neither of them would be able to last long. Keeping her fingers at a steady pace, she dropped her head between Korra’s legs and lightly flicked her tongue over her clit. She decided in that moment she really did miss the way she tasted.

Korra let her head fall back into the pillows as Asami put her legs over her shoulders and raised her hips. She felt her hook her fingers into her front wall, not ever missing the spot that made her vocalize in one way or another. Asami still had all of her favorite spots memorized, not that she should have been surprised. 

“F-fuuuck. Asami. D-dont stop. Please,” Korra managed between moans and whimpers as she got closer and closer to the edge. She dug her fingers into Asami’s scalp and heels into her back, feeling Asami’s tongue flick and circle around her clit.

She pulled back slightly, blowing a soft puff of air over Korra’s clit as she quickened the pace of her fingers. “Let go, Korra. I got you,” she whispered barely loud enough for Korra to hear before returning attention to her clit.

Korra squeezed her eyes closed and sparks began to dance behind her eyelids as the first wave of her orgasm crested to the edge. Asami rocked her hand, making damn sure to hit Korra’s sweet spot, a few more times and bringing her now lover over her edge. Korra tried to contain the cry of pure pleasure as the first wave rolled through her, but failed. Her moans and whimpers slowly grew quieter as Asami had removed her fingers and was easing her through the aftershocks with her mouth, making sure to lap up every little drop of wetness Korra was willing to give her. 

Asami rested her head on a trembling thigh after wiping her chin once Korra’s grip on her hair went slack. A smile crossed her face as she looked up, watching her chest rise and fall as she tried to catch her breath. 

After moving back up, she gave Korra a tender kiss before whispering, “are you okay?”

Korra could only give a canted smile and a soft mumble, “you have no idea. No one could ever make me feel like.. that. Just you, ‘Sami. Only you”.

Asami laid down next to her, brushing the hair off her forehead. “Good”.

In a moment of renewed vigor, Korra pushed Asami’s shoulder so she was now flat on her back. “But now it’s your turn”. Between kisses down her neck and chest adding, “and for me to really show you how sorry about this whole mess I am”.  
_____________

Korra was woken up a few hours later to a knocking at the bedroom door. She tried to ignore it, but Asami started stirring in her arms as she was also being awoken by someone who didn’t seem to know what sleep meant.

“I’ll take care of it,” Korra whispered to a half asleep Asami, giving the back of her head a kiss before getting out of bed.

She went to the bathroom and grabbed a robe before answering the door. As she opened it, her eyes met a very different set of green than the ones she had been staring into hours before.

“K-Korra? What.. oh. Oh! Oh, shit!”

_Well... busted._

“Opal. Not a word. To anyone. We’re.. working on things. Nothing is.. official”. Korra knew her face was probably red. 

“It’s just past 11 and nothing is ‘official’. Got it”. Opal rolled her eyes jokingly. “Glad to see you two are finally ‘working on it’. Don’t ever pull that shit again or I swear-“

“Opal! Go back to bed!” Asami was awake and mildly grumpy about her personal space heater being occupied by her best friend.

Korra pursed her lips, eventually giving a sheepish smile. 

“Asami, we need to have a discussion”. Opal tried looking past Korra, only to be blocked by one of her hands.

“Nope! This doesn’t get mentioned. Now, Korra, come back to bed or close the damn window”.

“Well.. ya heard her. I.. kinda gotta get back to bed”. She jerked her thumb over her shoulder before turning around and closing the door.

“You two are so busted!” Opal managed to get out just before the door clicked closed, followed by the sound of the lock.

Korra made her way back into bed after tossing the robe onto Asami’s dresser. “Well... we got busted”.

Asami cuddled against Korra’s chest as she felt her sort-of-girlfriend wrap her arms around her. “As of right now, I don’t care. I’ll deal with it later. Let’s just.. enjoy this”. She gave Korra a soft, sleepy kiss.

“I’m good with that plan. ‘Sami?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t wanna go back..” Korra started playing with a lock of Asami’s hair.

_Then don't. Stay._

“I know,” she sighed against Korra’s neck. “We’ll figure it out, okay? But for now.. for the days we have left, let’s make the most of it. You still have that date to take me on”.

“Fair point. Wanna try for some more sleep that was so rudely interrupted?” Korra pressed her nose to the top of Asami’s head.

“Only a couple more hours, Korra. We can’t sleep all day”.

_I love you._

They both thought it, both too scared to actually say it out loud again. Not just yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BUT AT LEAST I HAVE SINNED CORRECTLY


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korra opens up a bit about her hospital stay. A perfect date was planned, until bad news is dropped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small part of me says this is another trash chapter.. I’m trying to like it more than I do. 
> 
> Things get a little angsty during the hospital flashback. (Tw for mention of drugs and suicidal ideation)
> 
> And I’m sorry about the end of this chapter ahead of time.

Asami propped herself up on her elbow, a smile coming to her face as she watched Korra sleeping soundly. She seemed to be at peace, something Asami hadn’t seen in so long. She didn’t want to go work. Not yet. The ‘just for the night’ had already turned into another. And she was expecting tonight to be the same, not that she was complaining. 

Their relationship may not be fixed, but there was at least a start. They had spent most of the previous day, after Bolin and Opal left, just talking or enjoying comfortable silence as Asami read a book or drew, Korra watching TV or leafing through a random book of Asami’s. Everything felt right again, normal. 

Asami’s alarm pulled her from her thoughts, quickly turning it off in hopes it didn’t wake Korra. If the alarm for her to start getting ready for work didn’t wake the sleeping woman, her getting out of bed unfortunately did. She felt a hand tiredly grab at hers.

“I’m sorry, Kor. I have to go to work”.

Korra pushed herself up to sitting with a groan, still partially asleep. “No fair. Work from home. I promise I’ll be quiet”.

Asami let out a soft chuckle as she gently gave Korra’s hand a squeeze. “As tempting as that sounds, it’s Monday. I have too much to do at the office on Mondays, in case you forgot”.

Korra gave a pout as she whispered, “maybe I’ve been trying to forget that information since the first time you ever told me”.

Asami gave her a look of sympathy. She hated Mondays. It usually meant a full day of meeting after meeting, people almost constantly rushing in and out of her office with paperwork for the week, and so many phone calls. Even before the disaster years ago, all she wanted was to stay in bed with Korra for a little while longer. This Monday was no different, expect she wanted it even more with her looming departure quickly approaching.

“I really wish I could stay in bed with you,” Asami said, leaning over the edge of the bed to place a chaste kiss to Korra’s lips.

Letting out a soft sigh, Korra laid back down and pulled the blanket over her shoulder. Even now, Mondays hadn’t changed for them. She would wake up to Asami getting out of bed, ask her to work from home even though she knew better, and end up curling back up with a pillow in her arms to sleep a little longer. Except this was the first Monday they had together in years, and also the last they were going to have for, at the very least, a couple months. Korra despised the mere thought of that. 

Asami watched as she settled herself back into the bed, pulling a pillow into her arms. It was normal on their early Monday mornings, but on this particular day, the movement made her heart hurt. The slight hint of sadness in Korra’s eyes before she had closed them told Asami all she needed to know. Korra was thinking about how she was going to have to leave again soon. 

“Come by for lunch. I’ll let my secretary know to expect you”. Asami knew they were on limited time for the moment. She wanted to at least get a good start on getting to know Korra again, even if she had to work talking to her around her busy schedule. 

“You sure? I.. can always just go back to the hotel..”

“Korra.. don’t. Unless you really want to. Go back to sleep for a little while longer, get a shower, and meet me for lunch, okay?” She caught the small smile that came to Korra’s face.

“That I can do”.

Asami made her way to the bathroom to shower and get ready to head to work. If past experiences told her anything, Korra would be out cold by time she was done. She would only wake up for a moment to give her a kiss before she left, the only difference this time is there wouldn’t be an ‘I love you’ after the kiss. In a way, Asami wasn’t quite ready to hear those words again. But she also desperately wanted it at the same time.  
_______________

-so are we still ignoring that you totally fucked Korra?-

-no one was supposed to find out about that. Please, keep your mouth shut-

-did you both forget that Bo and I also stayed the night? Who else would have been knocking in your door, Asami? And did you really think you could have kept that from me of all people?-

Asami sighed, rubbing her forehead. Work was already starting to give her a headache. She couldn’t quite figure out if it was truly an unusually busy day or if she was finally accepting that her new normal wasn’t the healthiest way of coping.

_Mondays aren’t usually this hectic. Right?_

-I didn’t forget. I was still half asleep when Korra opened the door. My guess is her brain was still a little sluggish with sleep as well-

-so how far has this gotten? Are you guys actually together again?-

-we’re just friends. I think. It’s complicated, Opal-

-so... you’re friends with benefits?-

Asami sighed in frustration. She didn’t want to call them that. They were just friends. Who had feelings for each other and already had sex. She wanted more, but at the same time felt like she wasn’t ready for a relationship again. They both had some trust issues to work through together before that could happen. 

“Ma’am, Korra is here with your lunch”.

She hit the button to page back, “okay. Send her up”.

-we had sex once. I’m not 100% sure where we stand at this moment, okay?-

A few minutes later there was a soft knock before the door opened. Asami smiled at Korra as she walked in and closed the door behind her before sitting across from her and setting the bag of food on her desk.

“How’s work going?”

“Don’t get me started on that, Kor. I won’t be able to stop”. Asami took a wrap from the bag. 

“That bad, huh? Investor issues?”

“You have no idea,” she groaned. “I would love to talk about anything else that doesn’t have to do with work. I’ve been meaning to ask.. how long were you actually in the hospital?”

“About a month and a half. Almost two. I was, uh.. pretty bad.” Korra gave a soft, almost distant chuckle. “I was deemed combative after about a week or so. And then I spent a couple weeks just staying in my room just sleeping. I definitely got a little worse until I actually started to get better”.

“Combative, huh?” Asami raised an eyebrow.

“If you thought I was a total jackass going through withdrawals the first time.. you would have absolutely despised me.. and probably would have been absolutely terrified of me,” Korra admitted, rubbing the back of her neck. “I wasn’t a very nice person. At all”.

“Tell me about it. Well.. if you want to. I know it’s probably sensitive”.

“I can if you’d like to hear it. You wanted something to talk about that wasn’t work. You sure you’re ready for this?”

“I’m all ears”. 

“Well, when I first arrived....”

~~~~~~~~

Korra stood in front of the security guard, not really hearing anything he was saying. It was bizarre, being a chief and getting checked into a psychiatric and rehab stay. She had already been stripped of any personal belongings; her belt, phone, hoodie. They had searched her; turning pockets inside out, thoroughly checking the inside of her boots, even going as far to pat her down. The worst of it was easily being watched as she pissed in a cup. All she could do was accept this was part of the process here. They at least let her keep the two pictures she had printed and brought with her.

The guard had placed his hand on her shoulder after putting her admittance bracelet on her and she glanced from it to his face. 

“We’re gonna take good care of you, ch- Korra”.

“Right”. 

He sighed softly. Seeing people come in day after day who needed help was just part of his job. There was just something about seeing his chief at such a low point that hurt. He led her to her room in silence.

Korra sat on the edge of the bed, working her jaw. She knew this was about to be a month of hell, but it’s what she needed. She looked up as a nurse had walked in and scanned her bracelet.

“I’m sorry you’re here”.

“Me too”. Korra’s voice was hallow, void of any sort of emotion. 

“What are you on?”

“Right this second?”

“We can.. start with that. But I’ll need to know everything you’ve been using”.

Korra let out a huff. “Cocaine, pot, and I’m really drunk right now. Been using a little of everything”.

“How about.. what do you use regularly?”

“Cocaine, pot, heroin, and narcotics. And alcohol”.

The nurse nodded slowly, almost giving a look wondering how Korra was even still alive. And she didn’t miss that look.

“Ya know, I don’t quite know how I’m still alive either”.

“Well, you’re here now. We’ll get you clean and make sure you get the help you need. The doc is going to want to see you later today”.

Korra gave a thumbs up and a forced smile before the nurse left her alone. She let the smile fall away as she took the pictures out of her pocket, one of her and her parents, the other of her and Asami. Staring at the photos, she felt tears start to roll down her cheeks. 

_I’m sorry I’m such a disaster and a disappointment to all of you._

She placed the pictures on the bedside table before laying down and letting herself cry. She didn’t want to be at the hospital, but knew it was for her own good. It would be the only way she would stay alive at this point. Even if Asami never wanted to see her or talk to her ever again, she had a tribe that was counting on her. And she was her parents’ only child. Even with all of that, she still felt like there was a giant hole in her life. Unfortunately, that hole probably wanted nothing to do with her anymore. And even by whatever chances she still did, Korra would have to be alive to even know that. So here she was, self admitted.

Hours felt like days as she laid in the bed, the drugs and alcohol wearing off. She was starting to crave for a fix. Korra’s hands were just starting to tremble and she could already feel the headache of the crash on the horizon. A knock came from the doorway and she didn’t even bother to look. She knew it was just another nurse.

“The doc is ready for you”.

“Fine,” Korra grumbled before getting off the bed and following the nurse to the office where the doctor was waiting.

“Korra, have a seat”.

She sat in a chair across from him as the nurse had left and closed the door. 

“I noticed you had admitted yourself here. What’s the reasoning?”

“You have my chart. Should be pretty damn clear”.

“Yes. If you had been involuntary committed. However, you sought help on your own. Most addicts wouldn’t seek out care on their own terms”.

“It’s not only the drugs. If I didn’t do... this.. I wouldn’t be alive anymore. I can’t do it”. She wanted to cry but the tears just wouldn’t come forth.

“But you’re here. There must be some reason, or reasons, as to why,” the doctor gently prodded.

“I have a whole tribe counting on me. And I’m my parents’ only child. And...” she took a shaky breath, “I guess I can’t even begin to try to fix this giant fucking mess with my ex if I’m dead.. as much as I’d like that right now..”

“You know, Korra, you’re going to have a very rough few days, possibly weeks, with your detox. I can only give you anti-nausea and low dose, generic pain medications to help. After your detox, we can start primarily focusing on your mental health”.

Korra nodded slowly. She was already starting to tick for another hit of anything. “So is this where we start medications that turn me into a zombie for the rest of my life?”

“It’s nothing like that. Sometimes, it’s trial and error. If one doesn’t work well for you, we can change it. Or we can combine some medications. On the right one, or combination, you’ll live a normal life. Medicine doesn’t equate to weakness, Korra. Please try to understand that”.

She tightened her jaw, fighting tears. The doctor dismissed her back to her room after a few more moments of silence. When she returned, she laid on the bed and stared blankly out the window. 

_I’m such a joke._  
_______________

As days wore on, the anti-nausea medications did less and less for Korra. The so called painkillers did absolutely nothing for the pounding of her head. She was so sick almost all the time, not being able to keep much of anything down. At some points of the days she couldn’t even keep water down. Her whole body ached, she was always freezing even if she was drenched in sweat. There was no easing out of it all this time around.

As Korra rested her head on the toilet seat, she hated that all she could think of was her ex. Asami wasn’t there helping her through this. Through the vomiting, cold sweats, and shaking. She was all alone this time. Except for a few nurses and doctors she didn’t want anything to do with.

“Korra? Lunch is ready”.

“Don’t care. Not hungry. Probably wouldn’t be able to keep it down anyhow. You can just skip me”. She gagged and dry heaved at the thought of food at this moment.

“You haven’t eaten anything in two days. Legally we have to make sure you’re eating”.

“Legally I don’t give a fuck. I’m your chief”. Korra stood weakly, going back into the room with her bed.

“That won’t work on me,” the nurse told her firmly.

“So you want me to force myself to eat just to puke again in about an hour? Sounds great”. Korra rolled her eyes before laying back down and pulling the blankets over herself. 

“I’ll try again at dinner, Korra. At least try to eat a little bit of anything”.

“Whatever”.

Later that evening, Korra got woken up by a nurse touching her shoulder. She couldn’t remember if she had been in the middle of a nightmare, but the nurse definitely scared her awake. As she quickly sat up, her first made contact with the nurse’s shoulder. The pills and water she had brought to Korra fell from her hand as she stumbled back.

Before Korra really had time to process what was happening, two guards entered her room. One was trying to get her to calm down, the other tending to the nurse. Korra was in a fit of fear induced rage. She had managed to get out of the bed just before the guards came in.

“Korra, please. You need to calm down. Was it a nightmare?” He held his hands up in front of him, trying to show he wasn’t a threat.

“Get the fuck away from me. Get out,” she spat at him. Her head was spinning and she was shaking. Too many memories were flooding her brain. 

“We just need you to take your medicine, okay? Relax while a nurse gets it and some water for you”. He took a step closer, trying to get her to at least sit on the edge of the bed.

“I don’t want your damn medicine!” Korra took the advancement of the guard as a threat, landing a punch to his jaw. 

The guard was taken by surprise as he stumbled back slightly. He knew Korra was strong, everyone did. He just wasn’t aware that, even in a weakened state from little food or restful sleep, she could pack quite the punch. Before she could land another, he grabbed her wrists.

“Let go!” She struggled against his grip. 

“Breathe. No one is here to hurt you. Calm down and I’ll let go”. 

“Fuck you!” Korra could tell his grip wasn’t going to ease up right away. And it scared her. Any other time she found herself in this position, she was either slammed into a wall or hit across the face after being pushed back.

“Korra-“

“Please, just let go. What did I ever do to deserve you hitting me the way you do, Mako?!” As the guard let go of her wrists, Korra’s knees buckled. She fell into the guards chest, gut wrenching sobs tearing through her. 

“Whoever that is.. he’s not here. You’re safe”. The guard held onto her, rubbing her back gently glancing over his shoulder at the nurse with a nod. Korra needed a sedative. 

She continued to cry into his chest as the nurse hurried out. Korra wanted this nightmare to stop. She wanted to go back to a time where no one had ever abused her. A time where she didn’t have to be scared. 

“You’re going to be okay, Korra. Get some rest”. The guard moved his arm as the nurse returned, syringe in hand. He continued to hold onto Korra as the nurse injected the sedative and until he felt her muscles start to relax. 

Korra let herself be put back into the bed and a blanket tossed over her. Her eyes grew heavier by the moment. The last thing she could even slightly remember was the guard and nurse leaving.   
______________

That particular evening wasn’t the last time she had to be sedated. Between the ptsd attacks and the raw anger from the withdrawal, she had gotten into several physical altercations with the staff. Korra hadn’t even been in the hospital for two weeks and they already deemed her a combative patient.

Deep down she knew most of the anger was from the withdrawal. However, most of the times she actually took a swing at nurses, guards, doctors, or other patients was during ptsd episodes, getting woken up in the middle of nightmares, or if someone said the wrong thing at the wrong time. None of the medications were helping yet and the only thing that would get her to calm down was sedation. 

Korra was sitting on the bed, looking at the two pictures she had brought. She needed a reminder in this moment as to why she was even here. Why she was forcing herself to suffer through getting clean. The withdrawal was terrible and they weren’t easing her out of it. 

Glancing up at the footsteps approaching her she grumbled, “what now?”

“I came by to let you know you have a visitor”.

“Who the fuck would care enough to visit me? I seriously have no one. I’m alone. Again. At this point I might as well be committed for the rest of my fucking life!” She tossed the pictures to the ground as the got off the bed.

“Korra, it’s your dad. You have people that love and care about you. Come on. Go talk to him. It’ll be good for you”. Her doctor motioned to the hallway, silently asking her to walk with him to the visitation room. 

“I don’t know why anyone cares about or loves me. I always hurt everyone! I would be better off dead. Everyone would be. No one would have to worry what I’m getting into or doing anymore. No one would have to walk on fucking eggshells around me. It would just be a relief for everyone who knows me. Why couldn’t I just fucking jump off the cliffs?!” Korra put her face in her hands as she sat on the edge of the bed, digging her fingers into her hairline as her shoulders shook with tears.

The doctor let out a soft sigh. “You didn’t jump because of those people in the photographs. They mean something to you and you don’t want to hurt them in that way”. He picked up the pictures from the floor, looking them over. “Your mom and dad, they love you deeply. You’re their only child. Deep down you wouldn’t want them to deal with that loss. And Miss Sato, she cares about you as well. You don’t want to hurt her by the loss of a close friend”.

“That last one is absolute fucking bullshit. She doesn’t care anymore. You should know as well as everyone else that we dated. I don’t blame her for leaving me. I’m seriously the shittiest girlfriend”. She chuckled darkly, not bothering to look at the doctor. “No wonder Mako did the shit he did to me. I wish he would have lost all control and just killed me”.

“What about your friends?”

“What friends? Most of them were mutual with my ex. I met them because of her! I have no real friends there anymore and I don’t exactly have good friends here either. I told you, I’m fucking alone!”

“Let’s get you to see your dad. He misses you, Korra”.

“Yeah. Right”. She wiped her eyes before reluctantly following him to the visitation room.

“Hi, Korra”. Tonraq could see that his daughter looked sick and sad. She had lost weight, had dark circles around her eyes, and little light or life to be seen in them.

“Hey, dad”. Korra sat at the table across from him, not wanting to even look at his face.

“I would ask how you’re doing, but what I can see is answering that for me”. Tonraq dismissed the doctor quietly.

“I’m fine”.

“No, sweetie, you’re not. When was the last time you ate, or actually slept?”

Korra remained quiet. She could spend whole days just trying to finish a single meal at times. The only times she actually slept, even poorly, were when she was sedated. 

“Dad, I don’t want to do this anymore,” she whispered sadly. “I love you and mom so much. Everything hurts. Nothing is getting better”.

“It’s only been about two weeks. From what I understand, withdrawal can last much longer. You may even still have some when you get out of here, but not as bad”.

“No.. you don’t understand. It’s not about the drugs or withdrawal. I don’t want to be alive anymore,” she still hadn’t looked at Tonraq, but she knew he was aware she was crying. “I can’t do this, dad”.

Tonraq was fighting his own tears at his daughter’s words. Korra may have attempted in the past but she hid those feelings well, never mentioning it. Hearing her flat out tell him she didn’t want to live anymore scared him. 

“Korra.. you have people who love you. You have a whole tribe that loves you. Your mom and I love you. You’re going to get through this”.

“Why, dad? Why does anyone love me? I’m so unlovable and hard to deal with. I’m not even surprised Asami left. I’m not surprised Mako beat me”. She was too exhausted to even try to fight her tears as her shoulders shook. “I don’t want this life anymore!”

Tonraq finally stood, walking around the table to bring Korra to her feet and wrap his arms around her. Seeing his daughter so low, in so much inner turmoil, broke his heart. He knew the breakup wasn’t the only thing doing this to her, but it sure wasn’t helping. She had been through so much on top of her mental health being a bit of an issue her whole life. 

“Please hang on. This will pass. You’ll get better. Let the doctors help you”.

Korra let Tonraq hold her as she cried into his chest. All she wanted was to get better, to be okay. She just wanted to be happy again.   
~~~~~~~~~~

“..... and that’s kinda how my first two weeks went”. Korra pursed her lips, rubbing her upper arm. 

“Wow.. I really don’t know what to say, Kor. Sure, you were kinda pissy from the withdrawals last time, but you never lashed out like that”. Asami quickly gathered the trash from their lunch and tossing it into the trash can under her desk. “Was you visiting with your dad your turning point?”

“Um.. yes and no. I started trying to actually work with the doctors but I was still really.. combative. Especially when they started me on an antipsychotic. But that’s another story for another day”.

Asami glared at her phone as it rang. It couldn’t have been possible her lunch was already over. 

“This is Miss Sato. Can you please hold for one moment?”

Pause.

“Great. Thank you”. Asami put the caller on hold, turning her attention back to Korra.

“Gotta get back to work?”

“Unfortunately,” she sighed. “But, I would like to continue this conversation at another time”.

“Well, we do have a date in a couple days”. Korra gave a smile as she stood. She was still in mild shock that Asami actually wanted her to take her on a date. 

“That is very true. There’s also a conversation or two I would like to share with you too. Go on, go spend some time with your parents. If you’re feeling so inclined... you should go to the museum”. 

“What? Why?”

“Just go!” Asami laughed. “It’ll be worth it, I promise”.

Korra rolled her eyes. “It better be, Miss Sato”. She gave a quick wave before she left the office to let Asami return to her phone call.  
________________

Korra chose to not stay the night with Asami on Monday or Tuesday. She didn’t want anything to feel suffocating. Everything was still very new between them. She had a gut feeling Asami was going to share her lowest point after everything that had happened. Maybe she was only hoping since she had shared hers, but she truly did want to know.

She looked herself over in the mirror. Asami always liked blue on her, so she chose a navy button down with white pants. Korra has said to dress nice, but comfortable. Nothing had to be too flashy or formal. It was just dinner at her favorite Southern Tribe restaurant in the city. She had only taken Asami there one other time for a quick lunch. 

Korra tossed her hair into a loose ponytail before pulling a pair of shoes on, made sure she had everything she needed, and left the hotel. She had originally planned to just get a cab, but decided to walk to calm her nerves instead. They had gone on dates so often before, but this whole situation felt new. Truly felt like they were starting all over with each other.

 _In a way we are. It’s like.. we’re finally meeting each other, the real us_.

She smiled to herself as she walked. Of course, she had talked about the date with her parents the previous day. They were both so happy, but wouldn’t say why. She had expected them to be hesitant with the information, telling her to be careful. Instead, they both pulled her into a hug and wanted to hear all about it. 

Even with all of the good feelings, Korra still had a pit of sadness settling in. She still didn’t want to go home. Not yet. She just wanted more time. Not only that, but she had an uneasy feeling about this evening.   
_____________

_Korra had said to dress nice, but not formal. Business casual?_

Asami tapped her chin, looking through her closet. Hey eyes finally fell to a deep red button down, then to a pair of black jeans.

_Perfect._

As she started getting herself dressed her phone chimed. 

-new message: Opal  
nervous?-

-I wish I could say I wasn’t.. what if the ring really upsets her?-

-didn’t you guys talk about the necklace she was making for you already? And you did tell her you made the ring.. it’s just another conversation you need to have. You said it yourself-

Asami put on a gold necklace and looked at herself in the mirror. A sad smile came to her face as she toyed with the pendant for a moment.

_Mom, please help me out tonight._

-I know, I know. Part of me wants to forget about it. Have us just completely start fresh-

-but you two have a history. Maybe not the best at some points, but she really did make you happy back then. Be safe and let me know how it goes-

-I will-

Asami touched up her lipstick, meeting her own eyes in the mirror.

“It’s just Korra. Calm down, Sato,” she whispered to herself as she capped the lipstick. 

-new message: Korra  
Hey I got us a table. See ya soon-

-see you soon, Kor-

A smile came to her face. She was going on a date. Maybe there was actually a chance for them after all. After grabbing her leather jacket, she touched the pocket of her jeans to make sure she had the ring. Asami knew Korra probably had a whole date night planned. She just hoped that she would allow a motorcycle ride to squeeze in. 

After opening the garage door and wrapping her helmet on, she got on and started the bike. As Asami left the garage she couldn’t help but smirk. The bike was definitely a favorite project she had worked on, even if it was only a personal one. The guy who she originally bought it from said it was just junk. Now, nearly everything on it was custom and the thing roared the way a motorcycle should.

Asami pulled the visor of the helmet down and started to make her way to the restaurant. She may be a bit of a reckless driver on her test track, but out in the real world, she was exceedingly careful. Especially if she was riding a motorcycle. 

She could hear sirens in the distance, a typical evening in the city. As she came to an intersection, even though her light was green, she still looked both ways before continuing. As she was about halfway through the intersection, something felt so wrong. She glanced to her left and held her breath. The car wasn’t showing signs of slowing down, it almost seemed to be speeding up.

Asami felt her body hit and slide along the road. One of the last things she could remember is the car not stopping and the sirens getting closer. She tried to take a quick note of her current state. Everything hurt in one way or another, the most painful spots being her right shoulder and arm. She thought she was okay, just banged up.

Until she could barely move. Her ears had begun ringing and she coughed, tasting blood.

_Maybe I just bit my tongue. But I would have noticed that before.. fuck. Internal damage. Korra.._

She weakly tried to reach for her phone when she was suddenly stopped by Lin.

“Asami, don’t move. Do you know what happened?”

“Car.. didn’t stop..”

“We have a unit still following them. The paramedics are on the way, I just need you to hold still”. Lin gently took her helmet off before holding her head still.

“Korra..”

“We’ll let her know, okay? Is she still in town?”

“Y-yeah”. Asami was starting to have a hard time keeping her eyes open. That’s when she realized just how injured she was.

“Hey, keep your eyes open, kid. They shouldn’t be much longer. Do you know where Korra is now?”

“M-my phone.. call her..” she weakly pointed to her jacket pocket. 

“I will. As soon as I can. Stay awake, Sato”. Lin tapped the side of her face lightly. 

It was these moments she hated most about being in the police force, let alone the chief of police. Notifying loved ones. Asami didn’t look good at all. She was just starting to fall into early shock. All Lin knew in this moment is she was very lucky she was wearing a helmet. 

“Lin..?”

“You’re going to be okay. Just stay with me”. Lin looked up at the sound of the ambulance.

“There’s... a ring.. my pocket”. Asami coughed before mumbling weakly, “give it to Korra.. and uh.. tell her I’m sorry. And.. I do still love her”.

“Not gonna tell her that last bit. That’s for you to say when you’re not in critical condition”. Lin watched as she was loaded into the ambulance and rushed to the hospital. “Which means.. don’t die”.  
______________

Korra ordered a water while she was waiting and checked the time. It was already 6:20. 

_Asami is never late to anything... maybe she really didn’t want to go on a date with me.._

-if you didn’t want to do this all you had to do was say so-

With a sigh she decided to wait just a little longer. That was until she saw Lin heading her direction with another officer. She stood slowly, heart sinking at their expressions.

“Korra.. I understand you’re waiting for someone, but I have some bad news”.

“Just..” she swallowed hard, forcing her emotions down, “... what is it?”

“Asami has been in an accident. A hit and run. She.. didn’t look good, Korra. She asked for me to notify you before she was rushed to the hospital”.

Korra steadied herself using the table. She felt the color drain from her face and like she couldn’t breathe. “N-no... what?!”

_This can’t be happening. It can’t. We.. we had a date. Things were getting better. What.._

“I wish I could say more. We can take you to the hospital. Hopefully there’s some good news”. 

Korra could only nod. Her head was spinning. How could everything go from being so right to so wrong in a matter of days. Again. She followed Lin to the squad car in a haze. After getting in, she texted her dad. 

-meet me at the hospital. It’s Asami. Please dad.. I need you. And mom. Lin is giving me a ride-

-of course. We’ll see you there-

Korra stared out the windshield, her mind coming up with all the worst case scenarios. 

“Lin.. what happened?”

“We were in a high speed chase with a wanted individual. He blew the red light as she was already in the middle of the intersection. It’s a damn good thing she was wearing a helmet”.

“She was always strict with safety.. how could this happen..?” Korra was desperately fighting tears. She was terrified.  
___________

Tonraq and Senna wrapped Korra into a hug as soon as she entered the emergency department.

“Have you heard anything?”

“No. Apparently you and Opal are the only emergency contacts she has”.

“Me?! Wh-what?”

“Korra, come with me. Opal is on her way. You’ll be in a conference room for updates”. A nurse placed her hand on Korra’s back, leading her to a private room. 

As the door closed, she had to know, “how bad?”

“She’s lucky she wasn’t killed on impact. She has internal bleeding, several broken ribs, a broken arm.. from her scans, she didn’t have much of a head injury aside from a mild concussion. Of course, she came in with cuts and scrapes but that’s all minor compared to the other injuries”.

Korra nodded solemnly. She was forcing herself to be prepared for the worst. 

“She also directed her personal effects to you,” the nurse added quietly, handing Korra a box.

“Thank you,” she barely managed to choke out before sitting on the floor as the nurse left her alone, box in front of her.

As she opened it, her heart sank. She could make out the blood against the red of the shirt she had been wearing. The jewelry in the corner of the box caught her eye. The necklace was simple, yet elegant. Korra couldn’t quite remember where she had seen it before. She furrowed her brow at the ring. 

Taking it out, she looked it over. Her breath caught as she saw the inscription. Korra could tell it was Asami’s handwriting. The ring had been meant for her. 

_She.. she wanted to... no.. no! This can’t be happening! Not after everything! Asami, please.. don’t go.._

Korra clutched the ring as the tears finally spilled over just as Opal entered the room, also in tears. With her free hand she patted the floor next to her, silently asking Opal to join her. As she did, Korra felt her wrap her into a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry, Korra,” She whispered through the tears. 

Opening her hand, showing Opal the ring, she asked, “is this.. what I think it is?”

“Y-yes.. she wanted to show it to you”.

Korra bit her lip as she slid the ring onto her finger, a sob escaping.

_This has to be a fucking nightmare._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all. I’m super sorry. I don’t plan to drag this out too long. We already had SO MUCH ANGST. 
> 
> ALSO: I’m planning on busting out another chapter this weekend. But then... one of my weekday chapters will be replaced by another work (probs gonna be a single, long chapter) cause... HOLIDAYS
> 
> ALSO ALSO: I’m toying with the idea of making a playlist of songs for this. Yay or nay?


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami seems to be okay, but is she really?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was trying to get this posted yesterday so I could have today to start on the holiday fic. But here we are 🥺
> 
> Slight tw for addiction (again cause I’m horrible)

Korra sat at Asami’s bedside. Opal had urged her to go see her first when she was out of surgery. She couldn’t take her eyes off her, no matter how bad she wanted to. Korra hurt seeing Asami in this state. Hooked up to machines, a tube down her throat, a bag of blood draining into her arm, her other arm in a cast. They had said she was in an induced coma, but not on full life support. Her body was at least trying to keep her alive on its own. 

Reaching out, Korra took a hold of her hand. 

“Is this how you felt when I tried to kill myself? Scared? Alone? Asami, we just.. started trying to fix this. Fix us. Please..” her voice cracked as she squeezed her eyes closed, a few tears spilling over, “... just get through the next 24 hours. Give yourself a fighting chance”.

Korra stood and gently stroked her cheek, giving her forehead a kiss. “I love you,” she whispered before leaving the room. 

On her way back to the conference room, she ran into Tonraq and Senna. Korra gave both of her parents a hug.

“The docs said that if she manages to make it through the next 24 hours, her odds of... making it drastically improve. Right now it’s touch and go..” she rested her chin on Senna’s shoulder. 

“She’s a strong woman, Korra. I’m sure she’s going to pull through,” Senna told her quietly, rubbing comforting circles in the middle of her back. 

“Mom, dad.. I’m.. not doing okay. I’m scared”. She felt her mom pull her in tighter.

“We’re right here. We can go back-“

“Dad, no. I.. I can’t. I need to stay here. At least for now. You guys are more than welcome to go home. I just.. can’t”.

They both nodded in understanding. She wasn’t going to leave Asami again, not now.

“Korra-“

“This isn’t up for discussion, dad. I’m sorry. I can’t go home with you when she’s-“ Korra gestured in the vague direction of Asami’s room. 

“I’m not trying to fight you on this. I just need to know that you’ll be.. safe. We know how you-“

“I do too. I know how I can get. But... I have friends again. I think? If nothing else I’ll.. stay with Tenzin or Kya, okay? Don’t worry. I may not be exactly okay right now, but.. she needs me”.

Senna looked to Tonraq with a sad smile. “She’s right, you know. And we can go back to the hotel. She has Opal here with her”. She looked to Korra. “If that’s okay with you”.

Korra nodded. “I don’t want this to keep you guys awake all night. I’ll be sure to text you with any updates”.

“Okay. If you’re sure..” Tonraq ruffled her hair a bit. “Just be safe. We love you”.

“I love you guys too”. She gave her mom and dad a kiss on the cheek before finishing her journey to the conference room.

Opal looked up from her phone. “How is she?”

Korra sat down at the table with a soft sigh. “She.. looks rough. It’s up to you if you wanna go see her now or wait”.

“I can wait. Are you okay?”

“Not really. I’m terrified, Opal. What if-“

“Try to not think about what the doctors said. I know there’s not a lot you can do right now, but she’s going to need you, Korra. No matter how much she said she didn’t and hated you... it’s always been you for her. Always”. She moved seats to sit next to her.

Korra stayed silent, resting her head on her arms on the table. She had felt the same in her absence. No matter who she tried to date or had sex with, she had never really Asami slip from her mind. It’s always been her, ever since the day they met. She truly hadn’t been looking for a relationship that night. Not even a hookup. All she wanted was to forget everything about her life. That is, until her eyes met a shade of green she had never seen before. Korra knew it was game over as soon as it happened, especially after Asami had asked her lunch. 

Over those following weeks and months, Asami had cared for her like no one else ever had. She was gentle, kind, and understanding. And it only made her fall harder. Before she knew it, her heart only truly belonged to Asami. And that never changed.

Korra closed her eyes, whispering, “I love her”.

“I know. She loves you too”. Opal tentatively wiped the tear that had escaped Korra away. She wasn’t quite sure if she overstepped in that moment, but she did care about her best friend’s sort-of-girlfriend. “She’s strong. I’m sure she’s going to make it”.  
_____________

Days passed and Korra had only left the hospital twice. She couldn’t bring herself to leave, not wanting to miss any big updates. The first time she left was to get her things from the hotel, the other time to get Opal and herself food. Korra had finally decided she needed a break from the hospital food. Opal had periodically left, mostly to make sure Bolin was taking care of Naga properly and not destroying their house. 

Tonraq and Senna had stopped by on their way to the airport to say their goodbyes and well wishes. They knew Korra was scared of the possibility of losing Asami for good. Both of them knew how much their daughter loved the other woman and how the only way Korra would return home, even for a short amount of time, would be if Asami was okay.

Korra and Opal both stood at the knock and door opening. They tried to not get too excited seeing that the doctors weren’t coming to them with solemn expressions.

“She’s awake. We pulled the intubation tube overnight and she’s been breathing on her own perfectly”.

Korra grabbed Opal’s hand. She needed some sort of grounding, otherwise she was going to tackle the doctors in a hug and beg to see Asami.

“She would like to see you, Korra. Opal, she just wants a few minutes privately with her, but she wants to see you too”.

“N-now?” Korra managed to get out.

The doctor gave her a smile and short nod. “We’ll give Opal the run down of everything and she can tell you later. I wouldn’t keep Miss Sato waiting too long”. 

Korra gave Opal a tight hug before all but sprinting out of the room to see Asami. A smile came to her face as she could see through the glass walls of the ICU room that she was in a more reclined position, book in hand.

_Even in the hospital she wants to keep learning about stuff._

Not wanting to just rush in, no matter how desperately her heart told her to, she gave a gentle knock before entering.

“Hey, you”.

Asami looked up from her book. “I’m so sor-“

“Oh, no. I’m stopping you right there”. She wiggled her finger in Asami’s direction. “You don’t have to be sorry for a damn thing. None of this is something you could have prevented”.

A faint, tired smile came to Asami’s face. “C’mere”.

Korra went to the side of her bed, tears in her eyes. “If anyone is to be sorry, it’s me, Asami. For everything that happened over the past three to four years. Especially all the bad things I’ve done that caused you so much hurt. Asami, I almost lost you forever a few days ago and-“

“Korra, breathe. I’m.. mostly okay now”. Asami took Korra’s hand. “There something I wanted to-“ 

Korra blinked the tears away as Asami brought their hands up, eyes shifting between the ring on her finger and her eyes. 

“I.. can take it off if it’s too much. It kept me from going too crazy over the past few days. If you really want, I can get rid of it and-“

“No. This is what I wanted to talk about, though. Korra, how much were you told?”

“Just.. what happened, your injuries, and that Opal and I were your only emergency contacts. And that you wanted me to have your personal effects”. Korra was growing slightly concerned. There was obviously something she should have been told, but wasn’t.

“Have you not figured it out? After everything that happened between us, you’re still my emergency contact. If something were to ever happen to me, all of my things were to go you”. Asami tried sitting herself up more, wincing at the pain running through her body. 

Korra had moved quickly after seeing Asami wince, helping her get comfortable. “I’m not good at guessing games..”

Before Korra could pull back, Asami draped her uninjured arm around Korra’s neck. “I love you,” she whispered against her lips, pulling her into a kiss before Korra could say anything. 

“Y-you do?” Korra asked softly once Asami allowed their kiss to be broken after a few moments, resting their foreheads together.

Asami opened her eyes to tear filled blues looking back at her. She could see so many emotions flooding those eyes; fear, joy, apprehension, worry, happiness. “I do, Korra. Life can be.. unpredictable. You deserve to know how I feel, even if you don’t feel the same”.

Korra took Asami’s face in her hands, her tears finally spilling over. “I do feel the same. I’ve never really stopped. I love you, Asami. Would you.. be willing to try again? Give... us a chance. Asami freaking Sato, be my girlfriend again. I’ll do whatever I have to to prove myself and-“

“Kor.. yes. I’ll give you, us a chance and try again. We have so much to work through. But.. I want to do it without hiding our feelings for each other, okay?”

“Then.. how long have you actually been awake? Cause you’re way too coherent to have just woken up overnight”.

“A couple days. I told the doctors to not say anything, just sedate me before you came to see me. I needed some time to think, Korra. About everything”.

“But the-“

“They literally just taped the tube to my mouth,” Asami gave a smirk to Korra’s annoyed but amused expression. 

“You’re almost too brilliant sometimes, ya know. Want me to get Opal?” Korra stood straight again and slightly turned to leave the room.

“In a second”. Asami bit her lip. “Why didn’t you go back with your parents?”

Korra rubbed her neck. “I couldn’t leave you again. Especially with you like this. And things were just starting to get better with us so.. I just couldn’t”.

A smile crossed Asami’s lips. Korra’s voice held nothing but honesty. She wasn’t completely sure if she wanted to tell Opal that they were actually together again or let it wait for a little while since they still had some things to talk about and work through. Asami truly believed that regardless of what happened, she at least knew Korra wasn’t going to run away. 

“You can go get Opal. Just.. don’t tell her about us yet. You and I still have some things to talk about, but it can wait for now”.

Korra gave her a soft kiss before leaving the room and getting Opal to join them.  
_________________

A couple weeks later, Asami was finally able to be discharged. During those weeks, she had tried to get Korra to stay at her house instead of the hospital. It only worked three times. All of the other nights, Korra had come back to the hospital to sleep next to her. She never seemed to care how little space she actually had, going as far as telling the hospital staff to not worry about bringing an extra bed in. Korra only wanted to sleep next to Asami, and that was that.

“You ready?”

“Kor, you have no idea how ready I am for my own bed”.

Korra gave a smile, taking Asami’s left hand. Her right arm was still going to have to be in a cast for a few more weeks. “When do you want to tell Opal?”

Asami chuckled, shaking her head. “You really can’t wait to hold my hand or kiss me whenever you want, can you?”

“Um.. nope. If I thought I was lucky to have you the first time around, you have no idea how I feel now. And I’m gonna do quite honestly anything for you to prove it”.

Asami raised her eyebrow. “Anything? Well.. if you could help finish up the cultural center plans, that would be a huge help. And-“

“Easy enough”.

“I wasn’t done, ya goof. How would you like to be my assistant at work until I’m all healed up. There’s only so much I can do with my left hand”.

Korra gave a soft laugh. “I’m no engineer or nearly as smart as you, but I’ll do what I can. C’mon. Let’s go... home”.

She gave her hand a squeeze, kissing her forehead. “Sounds like a good idea to me”.

Korra led them out of the hospital to Opal’s car, letting Asami get in first. The ride back was mostly quiet. She let Asami keep Opal occupied with small talk as she would secretly hold Asami’s hand, slide her arm around her waist, or lay her hand on her thigh. She wasn’t trying to do anything sexual, just wanted to feel her there, make sure it was all real.

“Thanks for the ride, Opal. Give.. us,” Asami glanced to Korra briefly, “a few days to figure some things out. You can come over whenever after that”.

“Just let me know, hun. I wouldn’t want to walk in on you two again,” Opal chuckled softly. “Which also means, if you guys do-“

“St-stop! Don’t worry. We won’t be doing.. that”. Korra was fidgeting nervously. She wanted to, of course, but Asami was still too injured. There was no way she was going to let things get that heated.

“Right. I’m so sure”. She watched as the two turned to head to the front door, deciding to stop Korra for a moment. “Oh, and Korra? I swear to the spirits if you ever hurt her again..”

“I could never, ever do that again. She’s too important. I.. almost lost her forever. Life is.. unpredictable”. Korra glanced over her shoulder, seeing Asami had turned and was waiting on her. “I’m gonna prove to you and her just how much I do, in fact, love her”. 

“Go get her back. Officially. I know you can do it”.

Korra smiled, a barely noticeable blush tinting her cheeks. 

_I already did._

She turned away from Opal, quickly returning to Asami’s side. Korra fought every urge to take her hand, knowing their mutual friend was still in the driveway. However, as soon as the door closed behind them, Korra cupped her cheek and brought their foreheads together as Asami’s eyes fluttered closed.

“‘Sami?”

“Hm?”

Korra ran her thumb along her cheekbone tenderly. “What do you need me to do? I want to keep you this time. For... as long as you’ll have me.. I want to make the past right again. For you to trust me again. Asami-“

She opened her eyes, green meeting blue. Korra wasn’t masking any of her feelings for Asami anymore. She knew she didn’t have to hide them. Asami brought her hand up, coving Korra’s on her cheek.

“Just be there for me. Like I was for you. You know as well as I do what.. trauma does to the mind. I’ve already tried to prepare myself for the aftermath of the accident, but I also know that doesn’t mean I’m actually ready”. She sighed deeply, leaning into Korra’s touch. “And talk to me, no matter where your head is at. I want to hear about it. Most importantly.. don’t run away again, don’t cheat, and don’t give me every reason in the world to be afraid you’re going to do something stupid”.

“I can manage that. I really.. never stopped loving you. I know I’ve said it before, but it’s the truth. You were the one thing that was always missing no matter what I did”. Korra moved her head slightly, leaning in to give her a kiss but also giving Asami the chance to pull away. Asami did the opposite and met her halfway for a soft, lingering kiss. 

Asami dropped her hand from the one on her cheek, tenderly pulling Korra closer by the waist. She already decided the cast was going to get annoying when all she wanted was to wrap both of her arms around her again-girlfriend. For now, she focused on the lips gently moving against her own. It was hungry, but the hunger was only for the love between them. 

Korra had moved her hand to the back of Asami’s neck, gently pulling her closer while her other hand rested on her shoulder. She wanted to make her intentions clear with this one kiss; she was going to make sure Asami knew just how much she loved her and just how hard she was going to fight for her.

Korra broke the kiss after a few moments, brushing their noses together. “Do you want anything to eat or do you want to lay down? Oh! Do you want your pain meds now or later? Are you in any pain right-“

“Kor, sweetheart, relax,” she chuckled. “I’ll just be on the couch, okay? If you really want to make an early dinner, you can. I’m not in a ton of pain right now, so I’ll take the medicine later”. 

Korra blushed slightly not only at Asami calling her ‘sweetheart’, but also at the kiss she gave to the tip of her nose. She watched as Asami made her way to the living room, an almost dreamy grin on her face. While Asami’s walk was only slightly slower than normal, Korra was just happy they were truly going to work on this. Together.

 _Sweetheart? Girlfriend? Finally.. things are starting to go back to how they should be._  
______________

That night, Korra was woken up to Asami shifting around in her arms. She knew exactly what was happening and pulled her into her chest tighter. Unsure if she should wake her up or not, she placed a kiss to the top of her head. She felt Asami’s body jerk as she took in a sharp breath.

“K-Korra?”

“I’m right here, love,” she whispered into her hair. Korra rubbed her back as the tears from the nightmare finally decided to come out. “I’m not going anywhere. Was this the first one?”

Asami shook her head.

“The first one that was this bad?”

A nod.

“Okay.. shhh. I got you”. Korra tightened her hold, while still accounting for and being careful to not hurt Asami’s right arm pinned between them. “Do you want to sit up? We can talk about it if you want. Or I can get a warm bath and some tea started for you. Or I could even let Naga in. Or even a light snack-“

Asami let a faint chuckle escape through the tears. “It’s still the middle of the night”.

“Okay, and? I just know those kind of things seem to bring me back down. ‘Sami, tell me what you need”. Korra gave the top of her head another kiss.

“Just you,” she sniffled. 

“I’m right here. I’m not going to leave you again”.

Asami pressed her nose against Korra’s neck, feeling strong arms hold her impossibly closer. She didn’t want to talk about the nightmares. Some were to be expected; seeing headlights before impact, being nearly immobile as she lay on the road, Lin coming to her side, the whole senecio on replay. This one was new, catching her off guard. 

Instead of her, it was Korra. She was watching as an outsider. Only, the driver of the car had stopped and it was their mutual ex. And instead of being decent and helping her, he put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger. She could only guess the reason being is because Korra had finally come forward about the abuse. She couldn’t tell her girlfriend about this particular nightmare. Not yet.

“I’ll.. I’ll take you up on the offer for a cup of tea”. She needed to try to calm down. At least enough to get a little more sleep.

“Sure thing. Anything else? A snack?” Korra pulled back slightly, tilting Asami’s chin up and giving her a kiss before wiping the tears off of her cheeks.

“No. Just the tea is fine. And of course you”. Asami gave a quick kiss before Korra got out of bed.

“Would you like to join me then? Can’t really do both at once if you wanna stay in bed”.

“Oh, you multitask now?” Asami raised her eyebrow in a tease. 

She knew she was just trying to bury the fear and tears from the nightmare, but it was more or less working. And that was strange to her. The last thing she was expecting was to feel better so soon after a nightmare like that. And yet, here she was with Korra, her girlfriend making her smile and her heart flutter with happiness instead of fear. It felt like nothing bad had ever happened between them. It felt right, normal.

_Girlfriend.. spirits, I really missed calling her that. More than I thought. Even if it’s just between us for now._

“I kinda had to figure it out”. She flexed her arms somewhat jokingly. “Chief stuff, babe”.

Asami rolled her eyes as she chuckled, “Okay, Chief Dork. Show me how well you can supposedly multitask now.” 

She gave a slight yelp as Korra scooped her up rom the bed before quietly giggling as she kissed her nose. Korra was definitely so much better and she deeply missed this side of her. The dorky, happy-go-lucky, and playful side. A side it seemed was only fully meant for her eyes and her eyes only. Sure, Opal and Bolin had seen part of this side of her, but never so deeply. Like it was just their little secret. 

Korra carefully carried Asami downstairs before sitting her on the kitchen counter. She gave Naga a quick scratch to the top of her head before getting the kettle started.

“So.. what kind of tea?” Korra opened the cabinet as if she had never once moved away. “We got green, chamomile, earl grey, and jasmine. Whatcha feeling?”

“I’ll have the chamomile, love. I need to relax after.. you know”.

Korra took the container and tea ball from the cupboard. Asami had always preferred loose teas whereas Korra never really minded if it was loose or already in a bag. She grabbed a mug from another cupboard before filling the tea ball and placing it in the mug. 

“You know, it’s completely okay to say you have nightmares. I had them for years and still do on occasion. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, ‘Sami”. Korra put the container of tea back into its cupboard. “If you ever want or need to talk about them, I’m always gonna be there to listen. I know it’s hard”.

Asami had gotten caught up in the muscle display Korra didn’t even realize she was giving. She only heard a part of what she said. 

“I know. It’s just.. this one was so different. It was.. you instead of me”. She had shifted her gaze from Korra’s back to the floor.

“Well, I’m gonna try to ease your mind just a little bit”. Korra turned, leaning against the counter. “I still don’t drive. Cars aren’t exactly a need back home. Just a convenience”.

Asami bit her lip. She was torn between telling her every bit of the nightmare and just leaving it at what she just said. She also knew Korra had a good point, even if her company’s motorcycles and snowmobiles were fairly similar in function.

“I’m still going to get you to drive one of these days. I promise you that”.

“You should know I’m a terrible driver by now. The clutch is so weird and different than a snowmobile. You should design a new clutch or shifting system”. Korra turned back to the kettle, turning off the stove just before it started to whistle, and poured the water into the mug. “Sugar or anything in it?”

“No. It’s fine as is”. She pulled Korra between her legs after she had set the mug down beside her. “You know, so are you. I’m so.. happy you’re better. I missed this side of you”.

“Asami, I still get the occasional urge to use or get absolutely shitfaced. And I still have low days. I’m far from perfect, even now”. She toyed with the bottom of Asami’s shirt nervously. She didn’t want to make her girlfriend worried, but she needed to make sure she knew the truth.

“But.. you fight it and succeed. You’re going to be an addict and alcoholic for the rest of your life. You’re always going to be ‘recovering’. Korra, you’re so much stronger than you were before when it comes to this. The depressed days you do have, we’ll work through them”.

“Right now I’m just worried about you. I want to make sure you’re okay going through this. It’s my turn to be the rock you need”.

Asami tilted Korra’s head up gently by the chin. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, she wondered if this is what she needed to trust Korra again. She knew she cared and loved her deeply, but she still wanted some proof it was always going to be only her from here on out.

Korra could see there was something more behind her eyes, behind the warm smile she was giving. It was something that made her nervous. It was something she had dealt with herself on many occasions. 

_She would tell me. Right?_

She let Asami capture her lips and pull her closer with a leg around her waist. Korra gently pulled her closer to edge of the counter by the hips. The kiss was deep and passionate, a kind that Korra had always enjoyed. She noticed Asami was slightly holding back, not exactly letting herself get lost in it. Korra assumed it was either because she was in pain or simply because the trust wasn’t fully there. Regardless, she wasn’t about to push boundaries. 

Asami broke the kiss, a smile tugging at her lips. “I love you”.

“I love you too. Drink your tea and we can go back to bed. I might want to cuddle the nightmare away next. You need it”. She gave a cheeky grin.  
______________

Korra said she was going to gather some snacks, just in case, before joining her in bed. Asami had made her way upstairs and through the bedroom to the bathroom. Her arm was starting to hurt, which is how she found herself staring at the bottle of her pain medication in her hand.

She knew she was only supposed to take one. It also made her groggy and all she wanted was to get some restful sleep without the worry of another nightmare jerking her from it. Asami knew this was a bad idea, something she should have voiced to Korra. 

_It’ll only be this one time. The other nightmares I can handle. Not whatever this one was._

With a shaking hand, she opened the bottle and quietly dumped two pills onto the counter before getting the lid back on. She filled the cup Korra had brought up earlier, another just in case thing, with water and downed the pills. 

Asami knew the medicine would have her asleep fairly soon and made her way back to the bed where Korra was already waiting.

“You alright?” Korra asked, sitting up in concern.

“Yeah”. Asami laid down next to her. “My arm was just starting to hurt is all”.

Korra laid back down, giving her cheek a kiss. She was still worried about the look Asami had deep within her eyes. She let her cuddle up close, watching her slowly drift to sleep.

 _No. Asami’s smarter than that._  
_____________

Asami’s one time secret had quickly turned into several other nights over the past few weeks. Two pills had become three. She knew deep down she should have told Korra by now. This wasn’t the path she should have ever started. She knew the risks of narcotics. She had watched Korra struggle with them as well. Her cast was to come off in the next few days. Asami knew they would stop prescribing them and it worried her. 

Korra had noticed a change in her girlfriend. She was more irritable during the day, snapping at clients at meetings since she was able to return to work. Occasionally she would snap at her over something as small as not putting a book back on the shelf. Korra had an unfortunate gut feeling she knew what was going on.

She knocked softly on the door of Asami’s home office before opening it. “Are you busy? I.. wanted to talk to you”.

“Korra, you should know by now I’m always busy when I’m in here. What do you want?” Asami’s tone was sharp. 

“Like I said.. I just wanted to talk”. Her heart sank as she saw the small glass of an amber liquid. She knew her worries were true in that moment. Asami had been spending more and more time in her office.

“About what? I have shit to get done, Korra. Either start talking or get out”.

“This. This is what I want to talk about. I was hoping you weren’t doing.. this. I had a feeling you were. How much of your pain meds have you been taking? And you know you shouldn’t be drinking while you’re on them”.

Asami set her jaw, her stare cold. “What does it matter to you?”

“I love you. And I went through the exact same thing several times over. Just.. how much, Asami?”

“Enough to actually sleep. This isn’t up for discussion. Get out”.

“No. I’m not leaving until we talk about this. I can help you. You know how addictive narcotics can-“

Asami slammed her hand on the desk, standing. “I said I’m not talking about this! Get the fuck out of my office, Korra!”

“I’m not letting you take the same path I took! I can get you through it. Just please.. talk to me”.

“You want to talk?! Fine. I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired. I can barely sleep because of the nightmares. I’m terrified to drive but I still do because you can’t! The medicine is the only thing that gets me to sleep deep enough so I’m not constantly waking you up. The alcohol calms me down during the day. Is that what you wanted to hear?!” Asami had moved and was in Korra’s face now.

“Unfortunately.. yes. It is. Let me help you. Please..” Korra reached for her hand, only to get her hand pushed away.

“I’m fine, Korra. I’ll stop. Just get out”.

“Babe, you’re not fine. I know how this works. If you don’t start tapering yourself off now, you’re going to withdrawal pretty bad. And that’s just going to lead to you drinking more and more until you depend on it. Trust me. I can help you”. 

“Trust you? Really?! After everything you’ve done?” Asami shoved her back out of her office. “How does it fucking feel?!”

Korra stopped the door from slamming with her shoulder. “This isn’t you, Asami! Please.. stop this. This is not the path you want to take. Once you start, it gets harder and harder to stop”. She made her way to where her girlfriend was standing, looking out the window, wrapping her arms around her waist from behind. “I love you. And I don’t want to watch you do this to yourself”.

“Please.. just leave me alone”. Asami’s voice broke. She knew Korra was right. She was taking the same path she did. 

“You have an hour”.

Asami spun, breaking Korra’s loose hold on her. “What?”

“One hour, Asami. Then you’re coming on a walk with me. You need time away from work and the house”.

“No. I’m going to stay here. Take your dog”. Asami brushed by Korra, returning to her desk and grabbing her glass. “Now, seriously, get out. I’m done talking about this”.

“For now,” Korra muttered. She wasn’t going to drop this easily. No matter how much Asami’s words hurt, she refused to let her take this dangerous path. 

“For good,” Asami more or less spat back. She took a very deliberate drink from her glass, eyes locked with Korra’s. “Now get out and forget about it”.

“Or what? This isn’t something I’m just going to drop. This.. isn’t you”.

“No. You’re going to drop this”. Asami put her glass back down before standing in front of her girlfriend again. “I mean it”.

“Seriously. Or what, Asami? What the hell are you going to do if I don’t? Answer me”. Korra was trying to not let the fear of Asami’s rage show. No matter how scared she was to be hit by someone she loved, this wasn’t something she was backing down from. 

Asami suddenly grabbed her by the front of her shirt, pulling her forward. “Get. Out. I’m not telling you again”.

Korra took the chance to grab her wrist. Just in case. There wasn’t much she could do with her other arm in a cast. “What’s gotten into you? I haven’t done a damn thing to you except try to talk. What happened to no more secrets between us?! I seriously want to help you thr-“

Korra flinched back as Asami quickly broke the hold on her wrist, grabbing Korra’s in the process. “Don’t think for a second I don’t know how to fight. I’ve was put into self defense classes when my mother was killed”.

“Y-you’ve told me this before. I know you know how to fight and defend yourself. Asami, baby, I’m not here to hurt or fight you. I promise you that. If you don’t want me to help-“ she winced slightly as her grip tightened. “Please.. let go”.

“Are you going to get out?” She loosened her grip, pushing Korra back towards the doorway. 

“Yeah. I’ll.. be downstairs..” she turned to leave, stopping in the doorway and looked over her shoulder to see Asami not looking at her with tears running down her cheeks. “I love you, ‘Sami,” she whispered before closing the door behind her. 

Korra reached down with her heart in her throat, giving Naga a quick pat. “I’ll be okay, girl. I’m just.. worried about her”. 

Korra made her way downstairs, her dog in tow. She pulled out her phone as she curled up on the couch.

-Opal, can you come over?-

-is everything okay?-

-no. I.. need to talk to you-

-I’ll be right over-

Korra gave Naga a scratch to her chest as she curled up next to Korra on couch with a soft huff.

“It’ll work out, Naga. It has to”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, things are getting angsty again. I will say it shouldn’t get as dark as some previous chapters. 
> 
> I really thought about not doing this since I’ve had some of y’all call me out on my plans early on. But then I knew I kinda had to follow through. 
> 
> We’ll get some ‘broken bits and all’ coming back. And some of the two actually working through some stuff. Just hang tight. Good things are going to start coming either late this week or next weekend.
> 
> Be on the lookout for the fluffy and smutty holiday fic (that no one asked for 😅) sometime this week!


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asami is struggling, but Korra is determined to figure it all out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all had a happy holiday, whatever it is you celebrate. 
> 
> The holiday fic was posted on Christmas Eve, in case you guys didn’t catch it yet. 
> 
> Considering doing something for New Years, maybe? 
> 
> In any case, we can get back to this rollercoaster. I was going to have this be a heavy af chapter buuut it wasn’t coming out how I wanted it to. So now we have this.

Korra jumped slightly as she heard the front door close, pulling her from her racing mind. Asami wasn’t doing okay. At all. She was quickly following the same path Korra herself had taken. It started as easing the pain in her body, then to actually sleep through the night without Zaheer’s face haunting her. She increased the dose periodically as her body adjusted, eventually using the narcotics during the day. When the doctors stopped prescribing them, Korra had a terrible time coping. That’s when she started drinking more, eventually depending on the alcohol. She knew what came next; seeking out hard drugs. She couldn’t let Asami get to that point.

“Korra? What’s going on?” Opal sat on the arm of the couch, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Uh.. I don’t know how to say this easily. Asami.. Uhm.. she’s been taking more narcotics than necessary. And drinking. Opal, she’s starting the same exact path I took after Zaheer. If.. she doesn’t start weaning herself off the narcotics now..”

She gave Korra’s shoulder a squeeze. “Where is she?”

“Last I knew, in her office. She could be in the bedroom by now. Or the workshop. I don’t know. Could you not tell her I told you? I’m gonna work on this, I just needed someone to.. help me through it”.

“Of course. You know you can call me whenever you need me. You’re my friend too”.

Korra looked to Opal. “Which just seems super weird to me. I still more or less just got back and yet.. everyone has welcomed me home. I never really had a ton of friends growing up, or even when I first moved here. The friends I did have weren’t.. the greatest. What I think I’m trying to say is, I’m really glad you’re a true friend”.

“Even if you ran off... you’re a pretty good friend too”. Opal smiled at her, lightly shoving her shoulder. “And if anyone can get Asami through this, it’s you”. 

“I sure hope so. I should have confronted her about it all sooner.. hid the meds like she did for me. I’m literally the worst girlfriend..”

“Girlfriend?!”

A blush came to Korra’s face. “You.. weren’t supposed to know yet. Just please, for everything that’s sacred, keep it to yourself. Asami can’t know that you know. It just slipped. We.. she wanted to keep it between us for now. I’m such an idiot”.

Opal stared at her for a moment. She couldn’t quite figure out any large gesture Korra had done to actually win her best friend back. Asami had never said anything about what Korra was doing, only that they were talking about things and trying to navigate the past that led to so much heartbreak.

“Um.. okay. Yeah. I won’t say anything. Korra, I want you to know that I’ve always been rooting for the two of you. You’re so.. perfect together. Yeah, you both had and have some.. issues, but don’t let that get in the way again. Let the love happen, okay?” She stood, stopping in front Korra and pulling her into a hug. “I’m happy for you both. Go. Take care of her”.

“But.. I was gonna take Naga out for a bit and-“

“I’ll take her. It’s not a big deal”.

Korra sighed softly, getting off the couch. “Thanks. Serisouly, what did I do to deserve a friend like you?” 

“Date my best friend. You’re part of my life now too. I try to not hold grudges, so I’ve always considered us friends. Just don’t you dare hurt her again”. Opal poked her in the chest. “I mean it”.

“I never want to. I want to keep her. Always”.

______________

Korra took a deep breath as she put a hand on the doorknob of Asami’s office. She was nervous. Her girlfriend had been drunk, though it wasn’t an excuse for the way she had grabbed her. All Korra wanted to do was stop this before it got worse, before Asami would need serious professional help. After another deep breath, she opened the door.

Asami looked up, grumbling, “what now?”

“We’re talking. Whether you want to or not”. She closed and locked the door behind her. “I refuse to let you do this to yourself”.

“Do you know how to leave anyone alone?”

“Now you sound like me. I remember when you came to check on me and I told you to leave. After that I kept the door locked so no one could bother me. Behind that door-“

“So you know how I feel right now. Just go, Korra. Leave me alone”. She returned her attention to the small stack of papers in front of her, slightly twirling her glass around. 

Korra noticed there had been at least a refill of the glass, with the likely possibility of more than a single refill. Swallowing hard, she firmly stated, “no”. 

Asami snapped her stare directly into the blue eyes of woman standing by the door, arms folded. “Excuse me?”

“I said no. I’m not leaving until we get some kind of plan settled to get you to stop.. this”.

“I don’t need your help”.

“You kinda do. I went through this exact same situation. After the narcotics are gone, you’ll replace it with a shit ton of alcohol, and when that doesn’t continue to help, you’ll start roaming the streets looking for anything to take the edge off. I’m completely refusing to sit back and let you do this”.

Asami pinched the bridge of her nose. “Why? You should be happy I can sleep through the night, that I can still function”.

Korra made her way to the desk, slightly leaning against it with a sigh. “This isn’t functioning. This is what trying to cope with substance is. Where are the pills?”

“As if I’d let you use them”. Asami stood, not failing to notice the way her girlfriend subconsciously took a small step back. “What’s wrong?”

“I.. I don’t want to use them. You need them rationed. Like you did for me”. She tried to keep some distance between them, completely unaware of her movements. 

“Korra, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” She was suddenly feeling a stab of hurt at the way Korra kept backing away from her, always maintaining a few strides between them. 

“I’m worried about you,” Korra whispered, averting her gaze. She kept her eyes on Asami’s feet, watching for any sudden movements that could show a rush towards her.

“Not.. that. Look at me. Please...”

Asami’s voice had softened. Maybe it was sincere, but it still sent a wave of fear through Korra. Mako had done the same thing. He’d be so irate, throwing things and cornering her before suddenly softening to get her to come close again. Always being sure to get her to understand he wasn’t always mad at her; it was just work, Bolin did something stupid that irritated him. That was until he did start blaming it all on her, how she deserved it. 

“You keep backing away.. come to me, Korra. I’m.. I’m sorry I never told you”.

She could hear the tears in Asami’s voice, but still couldn’t bring herself to look at her girlfriend. She couldn’t just let the space between them close. Suddenly, Korra didn’t have much of a choice as her back made contact with the wall. She watched through tear filled vision as Asami’s feet slowly grew closer. Korra was fighting the panic attack she could feel rising in her chest. 

_ It’s not him, it’s not him, it’s not him.. _

Korra repeated it like a prayer in her head. She had the full intention to come in, be firm with Asami, be the support her girlfriend needed, start to try to show her all the love they had missed out on for over two years. Not this. Not the PTSD boiling up, not the panic. 

“Kor?” Asami whispered, noticing the way her girlfriend had balled her hands against the wall. The way her shoulders gave away the shaking breaths. The way she refused to look at her or even move.

_ It’s not him, it’s not.. _

Korra bit back the first sob that tried to escape. She forced the tears to not fall. This wasn’t a moment to be about her. It needed to be about Asami. This feeling inside needed to pass, and quick. 

_ Asami needs the help. She needs me. I’m fine, she’s not. It’s not him.. get it together. It’s not him, it’s not him.. _

“Look at me, love”. They were nearly toe to toe. Asami noticed the way Korra seemed to shrink away, a frown coming to her face. “Are you scared?”

Korra never answered, too set on willing the visions and panic away. She could smell the liquor on Asami. The smell reminded her of the times she would come home to Mako drunk, him screaming at her that it was her fault. He would grab her shoulders, push her into a wall, demand that she get off the drugs immediately and stop drinking. It was solely her fault for everything, and she deserved everything she got in return. Korra forced the flashes of memories down, flattening her hands against the wall behind her. 

“I thought you wanted to talk”. Asami held Korra’s shoulders and felt her tense under her touch. “Korra?”

_ It’s not him. _

“I love you,” she finally managed to choke out, placing her hands on her girlfriend’s stomach, prepared to push her away if she needed to. “Please.. stop doing this to yourself. Let me help you. I-I love you, Asami”.

_ It’s Asami. Not him. It’s Asami.. _

“Look at me..” she gently took ahold of Korra’s chin, feeling her jaw clench and tremble.

She let her stare be lifted until she met green eyes instead of amber. The look there still wasn’t wholly Asami. Her girlfriend was drunk, hurt. She still needed help getting out of this. Korra forced her fear down as best as she could.

“My cast comes off Monday. They won’t prescribe me more narcotics after that. What do I do?”

“Wean yourself off.. starting tonight. Where are the pills? I’ll.. hide them somewhere and dose them out, exactly like you did for me”. She fought the flinch at the flash of anger in the eyes in front of her. 

Asami quietly stepped back and walked to her desk, opening a drawer. “What if I can’t sleep? What if I keep waking you up?”

“Then I’ll be right there. I’ll.. do whatever I can to soothe you to sleep. And don’t worry about waking me up. How many times have I woken you up because of a nightmare? ‘Sami, let me take care of you”.

Korra’s heart was still racing but Asami needed her. Her own problems needed to take a backseat for the moment. She just wanted to make sure her girlfriend didn’t continue the path she was on. Still in a bit of a daze, she barely caught the bottle Asami tossed to her. 

“That’s it.. that’s all I have left to get through the weekend. Korra.. I should have never started doing this and I shouldn’t have kept it from you of all people”.

Korra bit her lip, holding the bottle tightly. “C-can we talk later? Please..”

“We can talk now”.

“I can’t, babe. I.. I need to be alone for a little bit”. She watched as Asami started slowly coming towards her again, her breathing starting to catch. 

“Sweetheart.. please tell me what’s wrong. I know you’re.. upset with me about all of this. And that’s to be expected. But-“

Korra fought clenching at her chest, the tears, the screams she could feel rising in her throat at each step Asami took in her direction. “I... I can’t talk about this...” she took a staggered breath, “... right now”.

The last thing Asami needed was to see Korra slip into a panic attack. She was fighting with everything she had to keep it down, but knew she only had a few minutes before she couldn’t fight it any longer. Korra knew she needed to get out of the room before her girlfriend decided she needed to worry about her, again, on top of what she was already dealing with.

Asami’s face held nothing but concern. Korra had come to talk to her, and now she was backing out of it. “I thought you said you wanted to get a.. plan figured out before you leave my office”.

Korra nodded. She felt like her chest was caving in. “Y-yeah. Um.. I’ll figure out.. uh..” She closed her eyes when Asami took her hand gently, “.. something for you. You can approve it later. I r-really need to go. I love you”.

Asami watched as Korra pushed by her and began fumbling with the lock of the door before finally managing to get it open.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll be.. outside. Give me like.. an hour, tops. If.. if I’m not back to at least check on you..” her breath caught again. She was running out of fight. The PTSD and panic was going to overtake her at any moment. “F-front pocket of my suitcase. The smaller bottle. B-bring it with you”.

Asami reached out for Korra just as she turned to nearly run out of her office and down the stairs. She had said to give her an hour, but Asami hadn’t seen her act like that. She decided to give her ten minutes. 

________________

She barely made it through the back door before falling to her knees and clutching her chest. Korra felt like she wasn’t getting enough air and her chest hurt. The tears finally spilled over with a silent scream. 

_ I was doing okay. What the hell. What’s happening? _

All she could manage was short, rapid gasps. Korra got herself sitting, palms down on the porch in an attempt to ground herself and make her head stop spinning. Another silent, choked scream fell to her lips.

_ I’m supposed to be the strong one now. For her. She needs me to be her rock. Why can’t I breathe? _

Through her thoughts all she could hear was bottles being smashed, drywall punched through. Mako screaming at her. How worthless she was, how she would be lucky to make it to her late 20s. The pain he had inflicted. Her head pounded, throat burned. 

Suddenly, she felt warmth.

“Relax. I’m here.” 

Korra couldn’t make out who was speaking to her. She had her hands over her ears to drown out sounds that were only raging in her mind, eyes closed tight in an effort to halt seeing her past. Trying to relax her muscles and calm her breathing, she focused on the warmth that had suddenly enveloped her. 

“You’re okay. Deep breaths”.

Whoever it was had alcohol on their breath, causing her to subconsciously tense more. Whoever it was didn’t want to hurt her. She continued to try to focus on just breathing. 

_ One thing at a time, Korra. Breathing first. The rest will come. Breathing first. _

Korra forced herself to focus on what her psychiatrist had walked her through. How to come back to reality once she could focus enough. Her parents had to help her with it early on, before the panic attacks became more infrequent. 

“Breathe, love. What happened?”

_ Asami. _

“I.. the alcohol.. b-back up for a s-second,” Korra choked out between gasps. The smell of liquor on Asami’s breath was adding fuel to the smoldering fire. She just wanted to get out of this state before they talked. She felt a kiss to her forehead.

Asami sat herself down a few feet away, trying to give Korra some space. She didn’t realize she had drank enough for someone to smell it on her. And the fact that the smell alone was upsetting her girlfriend hurt.

“Korra?”

She let out a few more deep gasps before dropping her hands from her ears. 

“I’m sorry.. I’m supposed to be being strong for you now and-“ Korra’s voice cut with a broken sob.

“Sweetheart, I’m-“

“No!” She wiped at her eyes, trying to get them to stop leaking. “Don’t you dare say you’re fine, Asami! You’re not. Not when you’re using the narcotics to sleep instead of when you’re in pain. Not when you’re taking more than you’re prescribed. Not when you’re drunk most of the day”.

Asami fell silent. Korra was right, she wasn’t doing exactly okay. She knew she made a mistake. And now, she was going to start paying for it. Asami never forgot how sick her girlfriend had gotten from the withdrawals. She could only hope she wouldn’t get nearly as sick. 

“I, um, brought you the pill you asked for. And some water”. She handed the said items out to Korra, hoping she wouldn’t flinch or back away again.

“Thanks,” Korra whispered softly, taking the pill and downing it quickly with the offered water. She was still trembling, but at least she was finally starting to come down, back to reality.

“Do.. you want to talk about it?”

Korra shook her head, wiping more tears from her face with the back of her hand. “You have enough going on. I’m gonna get you better before you’re allowed to worry about me again”. 

Asami scooted herself close to Korra, lightly wrapping her free arm around her waist. She would always worry about her girlfriend, she never stopped. Even when she was blinded by her anger a few years ago, deep down she was still worried about her then-ex. The worry came from loving someone so deeply. And now, deep down, she knew Korra was going to help her pull out of the dark place she found herself in. Korra wasn’t going to run away on her again.

“Sweetheart?”

“Yeah?” Korra rested her head on Asami’s shoulder, letting her warmth finish easing her mind.

“Is that why you ran out here? You didn’t want me to see you like that yet?”

She let out a quiet, deep breath. “Yeah. You’re.. drunk. You didn’t need to see that, not yet. I know we said we’d work through everything together, but...” she laced her fingers with Asami’s that were outside of the cast, “... I want you stable and sober again. This isn’t like you. Trust me, I know trauma is difficult to navigate, but you can’t just.. give up like this. Not like I did. I.. really want you to get better before what I’ve done happens to you”.

Asami rested her head against Korra’s. “It’s so hard, Kor,” she whispered.

“I know”.

_____________

They had almost been caught cuddling on the back porch when Opal brought Naga back. Thankfully, the bounding dog found them first and they were able to break their cuddle session just before Opal came around the side of the mansion. 

The three talked with, unfortunately, Asami lying through most of it. She made the excuse of having a lot of work to get done for not being present when her friend had stopped by. Korra wanted to tell the truth with everything, even if she had already told Opal a lot. She knew Asami would open up on her own terms. 

By the time Opal left, the sun had started to set. Asami was clearly tired and fighting off sleep. As much as she insisted on going to the bedroom on her own, Korra still scooped her up and carried her. She gave her two and a half of the pills, wanting to start the weaning process as soon as she could.

Unfortunately that only meant Asami would be getting less and less decent sleep as the nightmares plagued her mind. 

“Korra?” Asami grabbed around for her before realizing she was already in her arms.

“I got you. You’re okay. How bad was it, love?” Korra whispered against her hair, placing a soft kiss to the top of her head.

“I guess.. not too terrible,” she sighed. She wasn’t lying. Sure, it still woke her up, but it hadn’t been one that had her thrashing and waking with a scream and crying.

Korra rubbed her back, soothing Asami back to sleep. From experience, she knew less of the narcotics would lead to everything getting worse. Her temper would spike more often, she would be sick, the nightmares would become night terrors. From experience, she knew how to try to help her girlfriend through it.

She wrapped her arms tighter around Asami before whispering softly, “I’m gonna get you through this”.

_________________

The days passed quickly. Asami finally got her cast off and Korra was relieved to be able to feel both of her arms around her, instead of having the item between them as they kissed or cuddled. Asami was still drinking heavily through the day, just as Korra expected, to cover for the lack of narcotics. 

“Hey,” Korra started quietly, entering her office, “you doing okay? I haven’t seen you all day, babe”.

Asami looked up from the blueprint in front of her. “Sorry.. I just haven’t been able to really draw anything up. Now that the damn cast is off, I can actually do this again”.

Korra bit at her bottom lip seeing a bottle of scotch on the desk. Her girlfriend had escalated from drinking from glasses to straight from the bottle. 

“Kor? What’s wrong?” Asami stood slowly, noticing Korra’s fallen expression.

“When are you going to cut back?” It came out as a whisper, less firm than she had hoped.

“I.. don’t know. It’s the only thing keeping me from getting sick right now. And-“

Korra closed the distance, wrapping her in a gentle hug. “Please.. cut back. You really can’t keep doing this, it’ll just get worse”.

It was suddenly clear that she had said the wrong thing. Asami didn’t want to stop drinking. It kept her inner demons away. If Korra loved her, she should know that. She should know exactly why. She went through it too.

Asami shoved Korra back. “Seriously?! You of all people should know why I drink!”

Masking the hurt, Korra held her hands out. “Woah. Hey, now. Calm down, babe. I do know why, and that’s exactly the reason I’m asking you to cut back”.

“You.. I need this. I can’t have the pills anymore, so this is all I have”.

“Trust me, you can’t drown the trauma with alcohol. The more you keep doing this, the more dependent you’re going to get”. She took a step forward, trying to close the distance between them again.

Taking a step back, Asami grumbled, “get out”.

“No”.

“Excuse me? I said-“

“I know what you said. I’m not leaving or running away from you ever again. I love you, Asami”.

“Do you?”

“Yes. Yes I do”. Korra’s voice was firm, definitive. 

“That’s bullshit”.

“And you’re sober”. Korra folded her arms.

“What?”

“I thought we were stating things that aren’t true”.

“No- Korra! What are you doing?!”

Korra had picked her up with a playful smirk before starting down the stairs. “Making you spend time with me instead of hiding away in your office getting drunk. I’ll be honest with you, I’m getting real tired of fighting with you over this”.

“Then don’t. Just drop it”.

“Hmmm.. nope. And considering you’re letting me carry you, I’d say there isn’t a complaint about it”. Korra gave her cheek a kiss as she rounded into the den before coming to a stop.

Asami took a look around, heart in her throat. Korra had drawn the curtains over the windows to block out the setting sun and lit candles for lighting. She had chosen and set up some cheesy romcom. Cut fruit was in a bowl on the coffee table, joined by two steaming mugs. 

“Korra.. what-“ she looked up, straight into gleaming blue eyes, tears in her own.

“We needed a date night. I figured you wouldn’t want to actually go out so.. I hope you don’t mind a night to just relax together. No worries about traumas or our past. Just you and me. And.. you weren’t going to join me easily so-“

“So you carried me. Sweetheart.. this is so.. nice”.

Korra carried her to the couch with a soft smile, sitting with Asami in her lap. Before getting too comfortable, she reached around to grab the two mugs of hot chocolate. 

“It’s.. spiked a bit. I managed to get my hands on some peppermint vodka”.

“Babe!” 

“Hey, don’t worry. There’s nowhere near enough in it to get me even tipsy”. She kissed the spot behind Asami’s ear, handing her a mug.

Korra adjusted a few cushions behind her back as she brought her legs onto the couch and letting Asami settle in between them. As her girlfriend rested her head against her chest, Korra tossed a blanket over them after grabbing the coffee table and pulling it closer just in case either of them wanted some of the fruit.

“Ready?”

Asami took a sip of her hot chocolate, a pleased hum coming from her before answering, “Yeah. And this cocoa.. it’s really good, Kor”.

Korra hit play on the movie, setting the remote on the back of the couch. She took a drink of her own hot chocolate, resting her free hand on Asami’s arm. “Are you still mad at me?”

“For what exactly?”

“Asking you to cut back on the booze”. 

Asami set her mug on the coffee table. “I don’t know. My emotions are everywhere right now. I don’t even think I was actually ever mad at you for asking. I just.. I don’t know what’s happening with me”.

Korra started lightly tracing random, imaginary patterns over Asami’s arm. “It’s the trauma talking. Sure, you lost your mom at a young age and then your father getting thrown in prison.. but this kind of.. situation is much different”.

“Kor?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you. And.. thank you for doing this. Where’s Naga?”

“I had Opal take her for the night. I just wanted this to be a night for us. And it’s not a problem. Whatever you need to get through this, let me know. If you can’t think of anything, I will. I love you far too much to let you do this to yourself”.

Asami let out a quiet hum of approval, kissing Korra’s collarbone. She didn’t have any ideas for her yet. This one act did, however, start to wake her up to just how serious Korra was about proving the love she had. Maybe she could definitely get through this. Her girlfriend did and she was way worse. It was time for her to work with Korra, not against her. Asami made her decision as fingers ran through her hair. She was going to let the love happen instead of burying it. She wouldn’t trust Korra blindly again, but she would at least try to trust her in full. Asami decided she was ready to let their relationship truly begin again and grow with trust for each other. 

Korra loved her. And that’s all that finally mattered in this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those who wanted a playlist, I’ve started it! It won’t be in any particular order, just kinda what songs I felt fit the overall story. If any one song fits a particular chapter for ya, then roll with it. 
> 
> As a spoiler: 
> 
> Devils Don’t Fly- Natalia Kills  
> Nightmares- Ellise   
> Physical- Dua Lipa  
> Who’s Laughing Now- Ava Max  
> If You Let Me- Sinead Harnett  
> Demons- Hayley Kiyoko  
> Tick Tock (ft. 24kgoldn)- Clean Bandit, Mabel  
> Monsters- Katie Sky  
> Still Into You- Paramore


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When night terrors lead to dates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are not at all ready for the SOFTNESS below. It’s a touch shorter than some other chapters, but I couldn’t write more past where this one does end. I tried. We all needed a soft af chapter. So enjoy some fluff. And a second weekend chapter from me. 😁
> 
> Also tw for mentioned suicide attempt(s)
> 
> Also, also: A Thousand Years- Christina Perri (I know I said the playlist won’t be exactly chapter specific, but this song is cause SOFT AF)

*********  
Asami leaned into the curve of the road, feeling Korra tighten her hold around her waist. She loved hearing her laugh at the thrill of the speed, the sharp turns. She loved that Korra completely trusted her ability driving, especially at high speeds.

She slowed as they reached city limits, lightly patting patting Korra’s hands on her stomach. Feeling her sort-of-girlfriend press her helmet to between her shoulder blades in what she assumed would have been a kiss, she returned her hand to the handlebar.

They came to a stop at a red light and Asami lifted her visor. “Have fun?”

Korra lifted hers as well, large smile across her face. “Best date ever! Can we go again?”

“Maybe another time, Kor. I’d like to get home. It’s getting late and I do, unfortunately, have work tomorrow”.

“Okay, but tomorrow’s not Monday so you could just work from home”. She shot Asami a hopeful smile. She wanted at least one more full day together before she had to go home.

“I’ll think about that”. Asami lowered her visor as the light turned green and started the motorcycle forward again.

Korra returned her hold around Asami’s waist after lowering her visor as well. She just wanted more time. Another date. Another kiss. All she could do right this second was wrap her arms tighter around Asami’s middle, so she did. As they came to another green light, Korra rested her head on her upper back. Just before she was able to close her eyes in comfortable bliss, she saw headlights. And they were coming right towards them. Fast.

_They have a red light. Why aren’t they slowing down?!_

She knew Asami saw it too, feeling her body tense just before they were hit.

They both laid on the road for what felt like forever. How Korra managed to get herself to take most of the landing, Asami couldn’t remember. All she knew is that she was in pain, but could largely move. The same could not be said about Korra.

Asami pulled off her helmet, tossing it aside. The adrenaline took over the moment she noticed Korra laying in heap, unmoving. She quickly got to her feet, taking quick strides to get to her before kneeling down and carefully working her helmet off.

“Korra? You still there? Please... open your eyes..”

She heard a weak groan come from the woman in her arms. “S-sit”.

“You want to sit up? Are you sure? You’re very clearly hurt, Korra. I don’t think-“

“Please..”

“O-okay”. Asami carefully got Korra sitting, finally understanding it was only so she could vomit. Even with the limited lighting, she could see it was mostly blood.

“‘Sami.. I.. don’t feel good”.

“I know.. I know. I’m so sorry”. Tears had started to run down her cheeks, she couldn’t lose Korra. Not again.

“It’s not your fault. It’s.. that fucking moron who clearly doesn’t know what a brake is”.

Asami held onto Korra as she retched more, the blood she brought up had increased. She could hear sirens rapidly approaching as the woman in her arms started to shiver. Trying to get as much information she could, she noted the injuries she could see as well as making sure to note most of them were internal.

The sirens that promised help seemed to be taking ages, if not getting further away. Korra didn’t have that kind of time.

_What is taking them so long?! Hold on, Kor. Please, hold on._

Just as Korra leaned over, coughing only blood, a car pulled up next to them. Asami thanked the spirits momentarily, anyone to get them to the hospital was needed. Even if that anyone was unfortunately a certain mutual ex.

“Miss Sato, are you okay?”

“I’m.. I’m okay. She’s not. Mako, please, put the past behind you”. She let the tears run off her chin, dripping onto the top of Korra’s head. She was starting to go limp in her arms, proving she didn’t have much time.

“It’ll violate the restraining order she has on me. I’m not going back to jail”. Mako forced Asami to let go of Korra and get to her feet. “She won’t make it anyhow”.

“I’m begging you. Please!”

He shoved her back as he drew his gun, muttering about putting her down like the bitch she is.

“Mako! No!”  
***********

Asami shot up with a scream. She felt like she couldn’t breathe, couldn’t speak. A warm hand rubbed her back, a soothing and familiar voice coming from beside her. She couldn’t make out any of the words, but could only guess they were asking her if she was okay. A warm, calloused hand held hers tightly, the other moving from her back to having the attached arm around her shoulders.

Asami must have been able to say something as the warmth that had come from beside her was now carrying her somewhere. She was only vaguely aware of the painful sobs ripping through her body, the ragged gasps as she tried to get air into her lungs.

_Who’s with me? What’s happening? Running water. Why is there water? Where’s Korra?!_

She became aware of the cold tile under her legs and that she had been partially draped over something. It was also on the cold side. The warm hand was on her back again, the soothing voice murmuring next to her.

As she started to come back to reality, Asami had realized she had been partially draped over the toilet. There was water running for a bath. Her mouth tasted of vomit. Her vision hadn’t come back into focus yet.

_When did I get to the bathroom? And am I serious naked?! Korra, where are you? This isn’t right._

The hand never left her back, rubbing soothing circles. Whoever this person was, she must have had enough of a conversation to get a bath started and to voice she was going to puke. She found out her hearing had come back to normal as the toilet under head flushed, startling her slightly.

“....okay?”

“K-Korra?”

“Yeah. It’s me, love. I just said I was going to grab you a change of clothes. You completely sweat through what you were wearing”.

“It can wait.. please.. don’t go”.

Korra nodded, sitting on the floor next to Asami. “I’m right here. Think you’re done with the toilet now?”

Asami gave a weak nod, panic quickly rising to her chest as her girlfriend stood. “Korra!”

“Shhh.. I’m right here,” she whispered, picking her up. A soft smile came to her lips as Asami’s eyes met hers. “Hey, you”.

As she reached up to touch Korra’s cheek, she barely whispered, “you’re okay?”

“Yes, my love, I’m okay. I’m right here, with you in my arms aren’t I?”

Asami nodded, pressing her face into Korra’s chest, letting herself fall apart. And suddenly realizing she was also naked. “Wh-what-“

“Shhh. You’re okay,” Korra whispered softly before placing her girlfriend into the water and turning the tap off before climbing in behind her. “And whatever happened, I’m okay too. I’m very much right here”.

Korra wrapped her arms around her. She knew this nightmare, rather night terror, was particularly bad. Asami hadn’t ever taken so long to come back around, never gotten sick from one before. She had tried to wake her up from it, but to no avail. Asami had been thrashing about, Korra had caught a fist to the face in the midst of it all. She kept screaming ‘no’ and calling for her girlfriend. And all Korra realized she could do was hold her until she woke up, barely dodging her head as she shot up.

Asami didn’t know she had even been talking to her through gasps and sobs. She told her most of what had happened behind closed eyes, asked to go to the bathroom, voiced she was going to be sick. Korra herself had cried quietly. She knew what night terrors felt like and she absolutely hurt that her girlfriend even had to experience one so bad, so painful.

“Kor?”

“Yeah?”

Asami leaned back, resting against Korra. “Don’t go. Please. Ever”.

“I won’t. When I go home for a bit, I’ll take you with me if you want. Whatever you need, okay? Just tell me and I’ll do whatever I can to try to make it happen”.

She closed her eyes, relaxing into to warmth Korra always provided. Asami knew she would be safe in the strong arms of the woman currently holding her together. Even if the broken trust needed to continue to be repaired, she was safe and warm. She felt a washcloth gently wipe over her shoulders, her neck, her chest. Korra was thoroughly caring for her, proving for a fact she was never going to leave her behind ever again.  
____________

Korra heard the bedroom door close and quickly bounded to the bottom of the stairs, seeing a very flustered and rushed Asami starting to come down them.

“Korra, as much as I love you, I don’t have time for your games. I’m already late for work”.

“Yup”.

“Then move. Please?”

“Mmmm... nope”. A warm smile came to her face. “You’re gonna go right back up those stairs and get out of those business clothes”.

“Korra!”

“I cleared your schedule for the day. You’re taking a long weekend”.

“You did what?!” Asami was irritated. She had several meetings to get through, not to mention the paperwork.

“Yup. You barely slept last night. And today, I’m taking care of you. So go get changed. I have breakfast waiting. And I also gave the staff the day off. It’s just gonna be you and me today. Whatever you want to do”.

“You can’t be serious”.

“Oh, I am”.

The way Korra never budged from the bottom of the stairs, the warm smile on her face, the glint in her eyes, Asami knew just how serious she was with all of this. She turned slowly and started heading back up the stairs.

“And if you go into your office, I’ll be up to carry you right back out, even if I have to break down the door!” Korra called after her.

She couldn’t even try to fight the smile that came to her face, the blush that graced her cheeks. Korra was proving her love, and Asami couldn’t deny that she was starting to fall in love all over again. The fear of the woman at the bottom of the stairs leaving her again was quickly washed away. Sure, she was irritated that she had cleared her schedule without asking, but it was almost relieving. She truly hadn’t slept much, and the sleep she did get was restless.

With a soft sigh, she entered the bedroom to change. But not before she sent a quick text to her best friend.

-I love her. So damn much. She’s seriously incredible-

-thank spirits you’re finally admitting to it. Are you gonna make things official again?-

-probably-

Asami quickly changed, pulling on a pair of her sweats and one of Korra’s loose fitting t-shirts. She let her hair down from her prim CEO bun to one that was much messier. Korra made it clear with tone alone that she was meant to be relaxed and comfortable.

-do it already! Stop being so stubborn and follow your heart for once-

_What you don’t know is that I already have._

As she made her way back to the stairs, she noticed Korra still waiting at the bottom. She definitely wasn’t budging on her statements.

Korra extended her hand with a smile that could light up any room. Asami took it without hesitation when she reached the bottom, letting her lead them to the dining room. Tears filled her eyes as she saw the small arrangement of flowers in a vase, her plate of French toast with fruit and a cup of coffee already made and waiting at her seat. She noticed that Korra’s plate was next to her own, not across the table. She clearly wanted to be close.

“Kor.. what is this all about?” She wiped the stray tear that had fallen.

“I just love you. You had a really rough night so.. I just wanted to lift your mood a bit”. Korra spun her around by the hand, pulling her into an embrace with a kiss on the cheek. “Let’s have some breakfast”.

Asami took her seat, still in a mild shock. She couldn’t quite wrap her head around that Korra, the one who shattered her trust and ran away, the one who did drugs and was always drunk, was actually doing this. All for her. This was the new Korra. She had come back sober and strong, willing to try to work through their past. She was the one that never left her side after the accident, the one who was fighting like hell to get her back to drinking responsibly, the one who eased her after nightmares. The one she hit.

_Shit. I did that... Oh... I sent her into that panic attack. Idiot!_

Asami’s hand shot to her mouth in an attempt to fight the tears. Failing, she felt Korra cover her other hand lightly with her own.

“Is.. is this too much?”

“No,” Asami whispered through the tears, “it’s perfect, Kor. Fuck.. I’m so sorry”.

“For what? You didn’t do anything wrong, love”.

Asami had dropped her hand from her mouth, wiping the tears away as best as she could. “Sweetheart, I hit you. You.. you were scared of me. You had a panic attack because of me. Damn it, Korra.. I’m so, so sorry I didn’t realize what I was doing or what was going through your head”.

Korra fell silent, the quietest she had been all morning. Her girlfriend had figured out why she slipped into a panic. Deep down she hoped she never would, at least not so soon. She lightly ran her thumb along Asami’s knuckles, not sure if she was comforting her or herself.

“It.. doesn’t excuse what you did, but I forgive you, ‘Sami. I tried to fight it, trying to tell myself it wasn’t him, that it was you and you weren’t going to hurt me. Yet.. you have. And I think that’s why I was afraid, that you were going to do it again. My mind is still my own worst enemy sometimes. You were drunk.. you didn’t know”.

Asami took a drink of her coffee and shot Korra a mild glare. “What’s in this?”

“Just.. a bit of amaretto. I told you that I was going to ease you out of this. Trying to quit cold turkey is really, really rough”. She gave a sheepish smile.

Asami hid her own smile behind her mug, the glare fading away. There was no way this could be the same woman she originally fell in love with. That Korra was brash, broken, reckless. And maybe she still was somewhere deep down. Maybe this side of her was meant for Asami’s eyes only. The soft, gentle, selfless woman currently sitting next to her. The one who canceled everything she was supposed to do today just so she could take care of her. It felt like a dream.

Asami could feel herself starting to fall completely in love with the icy-blue eyed woman all over again. She couldn’t bring herself to admit to it, so she managed a whisper before setting her mug down and turning her attention to the food in front of her, “thank you. For all of this”.

“Anytime, love”.  
______________

“Where are we going?!”

Korra adjusted Asami’s weight on her back slightly. “You didn’t pick something to do this afternoon so we’re going with my idea. And you needed to get out of the house and definitely out of the office”.

“Still doesn’t answer my question. And I can walk you know”. Asami rested her chin on the top of Korra’s head. She couldn’t admit that she was definitely enjoying the impromptu piggyback ride. Not as someone who was nearly 30 who was feeling like she was a teen in love again.

“Hmmm. A hint: a park”.

“Oh, so you’re just going to give it away with a hint?” Asami chuckled, giving her neck a poke. “How is that fun?”

“Well, one, I never said what park. And two, I never said what we were doing there. And I don’t see you complaining about being carried”.

“Kor, we’re almost in our 30s. You can put me down,” Asami tried to argue, only to wrap her legs tighter around Korra’s waist.

“Sure doesn’t seem like that’s what you want,” Korra laughed, giving the back of Asami’s knee a squeeze before coming to a stop. “Well, we’re here so either you can get off my back, or I can just carry you through the woods”.

Asami reluctantly got off Korra’s back, she didn’t want her to tire out too quick and cut thier little date short. Her girlfriend had let her get at least a little tipsy before they left to take the edge off. And yet, when she had asked what she wanted to do next, Asami’s mind went blank. And that’s how they ended up here, at the start of a trail through the woods. A small twinge of guilt washed over her.

_I never did any of this for you.. I’m so sorry. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you._

Korra took her hand gently and started to lead them down the path. But not before she took the backpack from Asami to carry it herself. She hadn’t been allowed to look at whatever was inside, just to trust her that it would be great. As they walked, Korra would occasionally stop and pick some wild berries and playfully feed Asami a couple before tossing a handful into her own mouth.

_Spirits, what’s wrong with you._

All of a sudden, the wooded trail broke into a large, open clearing. The afternoon sun filtering through the leaves at the edge and the wildflowers over the expanse of the clearing looked straight out of a nature book. And it absolutely melted Asami’s heart.

“C’mon”. Korra tugged gently at Asami’s hand, pulling her from her trance.

“Sweetheart.. it’s beautiful,” Asami said, almost breathlessly as she was led to the middle of clearing.

“Still not as beautiful as you,” she whispered, shrugging the backpack off.

Asami watched with a blush as Korra pulled a fur-lined blanket out and laid it out carefully. The woman who had broke her heart so long ago still managed to make her heart do leaps whenever she called her beautiful. Even now. Her jaw dropped even more as Korra pulled out a couple of containers, cups, and a bottle of wine.

Blue eyes looked up to her as Korra sat on the blanket, lopsided smile on that amazing face. “Well, don’t just stand there staring. Sit with me”.

All Asami could manage was a nod, sitting next to Korra with her heart in her throat. She took the container from tan hands, opening it to find her favorite noodles and some fresh vegetables.

“Korra.. why-“ she was suddenly overtaken by emotion.

“Because you need to feel better. And we missed out on so much together for so long. Is this all too much?” Korra worried her lip, starting to feel like she was completely overwhelming her girlfriend.

“N-no! Spirits, no. It’s all so.. perfect. I just feel so bad I never did any of this for you. Kor, I don’t deserve this”. She wiped the tears from her face with the heel of her hand. “I.. I love you”.

“I love you too, ‘Sami. And don’t feel bad. I’m just also trying to prove that you can trust me again. That I really, truly do love you. Unconditionally”.

They enjoyed their picnic over mostly small talk. Eventually the long two and half years came up. Asami told her nearly everything, how some nights she would stay at the office all night and work just so she wouldn’t have to sleep in the bed they had shared. How she would drown herself in alcohol to try to forget about her. How she would seek out men and women to sleep with to try to get the taste of Korra from her mouth, and how that never worked. And how she would leave the beds of others to just go home and cry. Asami admitted to considering flying down to find her and apologize for everything. And she came clean about her deepest secret that even Opal didn’t know: her pregnancy scare.

It was just a hookup. It was just some guy who had immigrated from the Southern Tribe years prior. She was too drunk to consider protection, too drunk to care that she pulled him in deeper with her legs as he came. That was until she missed her period two months in a row, and an extremely faint positive on a pregnancy test. Of course she’d have kept it had it been true, but she was relieved when her doctor informed her that her at-home test was a false positive and the missed periods just happen sometimes, even in women who are usually regular.

After the shock and twinge of jealousy, Korra opened up about the regular bar fights she found herself in. Her half-assed suicide attempt, a handful of pills and a couple bottles of liquor. All she got out of it was most of the night and following day puking her guts out. How she got to a point where the alcohol didn’t even sound good and actually made her stomach turn. The couple of times she almost overdosed, the second time being when Senna found out about everything. That her and her parents had a long talk about everything; the drugs, the alcohol, the self harm, the hiding away and hoping to just be forgotten about. How she got so good at hiding her self destruction, everyone thought she was okay. And her own secret: the real reason she checked herself into the hospital.

She had tried to die the night before. The drugs had taken effect along with the alcohol and, for a final measure, she tied herself a noose. Korra realized the following morning the knot she had tied didn’t hold as she woke up on the floor. In tears, she threw the rope from around her neck and called the ambulance. She decided that the universe wouldn’t let her go, so she might as well get the help she obviously needed.

Tears were had by both, along with deep apologies and comforting embraces. They both finished the food and wine Korra had brought before laying back on the blanket and watching the clouds pass overhead as they cuddled together.  
______________

“Dinner was wonderful, sweetheart”.

“Just something my mom taught me back home. Kinda hard to find some of the ingredients around here, but I did it”. Korra gave a toothy grin before placing a soft kiss to Asami’s cheek and taking their plates and empty glasses to the sink.

“Kor?”

“Yeah?”

“Dance with me”.

Korra’s eyes lit up as she came back to the dining room, offering her hand to her girlfriend. “Of course. What do you want to dance to?”

“Pick something. Anything at all,” she said quietly, taking the hand that had been offered.

“Hmmm..” She let out a quiet puff of air as she took out her phone and began scrolling through her songs. A smile coming to her face as she chose one, turning the volume all the way up. “I still don’t dance. But...”

Korra pulled Asami close after setting the phone on the table as the keys of a piano started along with soothing strings. As the voice started singing, she took lead, dancing Asami around the dining room.

“I don’t believe that for a second,” Asami whispered, resting her head on Korra’s shoulder.

“I have died every day, waiting for you.. Darling, don’t be afraid.. I have loved you for a thousand years,” Korra whispered along with the lyrics into Asami’s ear, pulling her closer.

Something in her broke for the better. She loved Korra. She couldn’t fight it any longer. The woman dancing her around the dining room had her heart, fully. She wanted this for life. Not matter what, they could face life together. Asami let the tears spill over, burying her face into Korra’s neck. She had gotten better for her, she was proving they could rebuild trust for one another again, that they could truly love again. It might not be easy at first, but it would be worth it.

As the song came to a close, Korra pulled away slightly and held Asami’s face in her hands. She brushed the tears off pale cheeks with her thumbs, even if a few tears were running down her own face.

“Broken bits and all, Asami. I love you”.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, no summary on this one. Basically half of it is smut 😅
> 
> Also I was hoping to get this out yesterday, but life seems to be hating me something awful lately. I’m doing okayish for the moment (Hence, smut). 
> 
> I really do appreciate you all continuing to read and enjoy this story. It at least makes me feel like I’m doing something right I guess. And I still try to reply to as many comments as I can, so if I haven’t responded just know I did read it!

“Are you sure you want to come with me? It’s not exactly a vacation..”

“I know. And yes, I still want to go with you. I need to get away for a little bit”.

Korra let out a sigh, rolling over to face Asami. “I’m gonna be out of the house a lot. And so is my dad. I know you and my mom get a long super great, but I don’t want it to be too awkward for you. Do you want to tell them about us before we go down?”

“I’d like to tell them in person. Besides, even if it’s not a vacation for you, it is for me”. She reached out, stroking Korra’s cheek softly. “And if you really want, once we tell them, we can go... completely public again”.

“Really? Are you sure you’re ready for that? I mean, I know we told Opal and we’re going to tell my parents but-“

“Sweetheart, it’s been a few months. You’ve done nothing but continue to show me how bad you do want this to work. I’m.. mostly sober now, thanks to you. And you could have gone home at any time, yet you didn’t. Korra, I want this”.

A touch of a smile came to Korra’s face, covering Asami’s hand on her cheek. “I want this too. I’m just glad you’re not drinking your days away anymore. Even if you do get a little carried away some nights”.

Asami moved herself closer, removing any space that had been left between them on the bed. She knew that trauma lasts for life, but for now she was at least okay. The nightmares had largely subsided and she wasn’t completely dependent on the alcohol. It had been hard. There were a few bad fights with Korra, but her girlfriend still pulled her through, never once giving up. No matter how much yelling or shoving happened, no matter how scared she may have been in some moments, she never left Asami behind.

Korra brought their lips together in a slow, sweet kiss. In that moment, it was as if nothing had ever happened between them. Everything was how it should be. Even if they were somehow both awake just as the sun broke the horizon. 

“Do you have to go to work today?”

“Yes, love, I do”. Asami kissed the tip of her nose. “Considering we leave tomorrow morning, I don’t have much of a choice this time”.

Korra groaned in feigned annoyance. As much as she definitely wanted to spend the day with her before having to get on a plane, she completely understood why they couldn’t just stay in bed all day. With that in mind, she cuddled closer and pulled the blanket tighter around the two of them.

_ Just for a while longer. _

“Want me to bring you lunch later? I’m not planning on doing much today. Just realized I haven’t really said hi to Pema or Kya, so I’m gonna head out to see them. On my way back, I can stop by-“

Asami pressed a finger to Korra’s lips. “Lunch would be perfect. Usual time and place, okay?”

She smiled against the finger on her lips before giving it a quick kiss. “Okay”.

_____________

“Good morning, Korra”. The greeting spilled from Pema’s lips as if it were any other morning came to train. Her head snapped quickly back to the woman standing by the desk. “K-Korra?! What-“

“Mornin’, Pema. I.. haven’t officially said hi again. And I clearly haven’t gone back home yet. I’m sure you’ve heard why..”

“I did. I’m so sorry, Korra. How.. how have you been?”

“I’m okay. And Asami is doing much better now. Um.. h-how are the kids?”

Pema folded her arms on the desk, giving her a knowing glance. “The kids are.. kids. They’ve missed you, dear. Are you here to train for a bit?”

“I thought about it. But,” she took a look around her old gym, “am I even allowed? I’m not on any fight cards right now and this isn’t my team anymore”.

“I’m sure Bumi would allow it. Still on a break?”

A blush rose to Korra’s face. Rubbing the back of her neck, she barely choked out, “yeah, something like that”.

“Korra-“

“You, uh, got an exam room available?” It was their old code. If Korra ever needed to vent or talk privately, she would only have to ask for an exam room.

“Oh.. of course! Come with me”. 

Korra followed Pema into an exam room. As much as she knew her old nurse wouldn’t have cared if she had hugged her in the open, another old friend saw her. And she wasn’t ready to deal with Kuvira. Not yet. She needed to get some better news off her chest first, away from other ears. As far as the general public knew, she wasn’t dating anyone.

As Pema locked the door, Korra rushed in for a tight hug. “I missed you so much, Pema. I’m sorry I didn’t come by sooner. Asami-“

“Needed you. I understand. I’m so happy you decided to try to work on it”.

“We’re.. back together. Opal knows and we’re gonna tell my parents when we go down. And, uh, we don’t want to make things public until my parents know so just.. can you at least act like I didn’t just spill all of this?”

“The rules haven’t changed, dear. Nothing leaves this room unless I have a legal obligation as a healthcare provider to say something. But.. I am so happy to hear that. You two definitely have a bond not many are lucky enough to truly realize they have with anyone. Keep her, Korra”.

“That’s the plan. I fucked everything up once, I’d really rather not ever do that again. She’s too.. Asami. Does that even make sense?!” Korra laid back on the exam table, a soft laugh escaping her. “Look at me, Pema, I’m coming close to 30 and I’m acting like I’m in high school all over again and crazy about this girl”.

“It’s because you’re actually letting yourself feel the love this time. Yes, you were in love with her before. But-“

“But I was too scared to feel anything.. good in my life. I know. I just still can’t believe she actually wanted me back after everything”.

“However, I can believe it, dear. Don’t tell her I told you, but she would come speak to me often when you were gone. I feel like she’s told me so much that not a single other soul knows”.

“What?!” Korra quickly sat up with a shocked expression. “I know the rules and all that, but she did?! I know you won’t tell me everything, but.. can I at least get an idea?”

“Nothing leaves this room, Korra. And I won’t break that rule. All I’m going to be able to tell you is.. she came by often to talk about you and how much she was still secretly in love with you after everything, regardless of whatever else she was feeling”.

“N-nothing leaves this room, Pema,” Korra sniffled out. She had truly believed Asami really did hate her. Wiping her eyes, she added, “chief’s honor”.

_____________

_ I should have stayed. _

Korra sent a punch to the torso of the practice dummy.

_ I should have talked to her. _

A side kick to the head.

_ Why did I just run off? _

Fake punch, knee to the ribs. Korra brushed the sweat off her brow along with the sudden tear running down her cheek. 

_ She loved me.. this whole time! _

She delivered several quick blows to the torso of the dummy before pushing herself back off its shoulders. A new frustration had built inside her, one that only had one target: herself.

_ I’m so fucking stupid! _

Her heel landed against the dummy’s neck.

“Why didn’t I fucking stay?!” Korra yelled in pure frustration, sending another kick that knocked the dummy off its base. 

“Hey, stranger. You okay?”

Korra spun on her heel, not bothering to pull on the punch. A glare settled on her face as her first was caught. 

“What do you want?”

“I didn’t mean to startle you, Korra. We just never talked since the fight. How have you been?”

She pulled her first from Kuvira’s hand. “I’m fine, actually”.

“Please, just listen to me for a second, okay? If you never want to talk again, I’ll understand. I really am sorry. Asami and I somewhat made some amends. We still don’t talk much, but we’ve reached an agreement. I would like to have some closure with you as well”. 

“Well, what do you want? Another kiss? Fuck me in the locker room?” Korra’s voice continued to raise, her temper starting to spike. “Well, I hate to break it to you but it’s not happening. I’m not fucking things up with Asami again!”

“Hey. Calm down.” Kuvira put her hands in front of her, taking a small step back. “I don’t want any of that. It was all a huge mistake on my end. I never got the chance to tell you, but that night.. I had already made up my mind to kiss you at some point. I was drunk, I couldn’t figure out my feelings with Baatar, and you were my best friend besides him”.

“You’re not making this better for yourself,” she spat back. “You knew how serious my relationship was. What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“I don’t know what part of my mind thought it was okay to do. Korra, you’re a very attractive woman and you definitely know how to make someone feel good. I’m seriously so incredibly sorry for my actions. I’ll have you know, I’m actually dating Baatar now. I would like to at least make an attempt to be friends again. I understand if you don’t want to”. Kuvira held her hand out. “At the very least, I want a truce”.

Korra stared at her hand for a moment, jaw tense. “I’ll have to think long and hard about a friendship. But I’ll agree to a truce,” she muttered, taking Kuvira’s hand and giving it a single shake.

“Take care, Korra. And for what it’s worth, I really hope you and Asami can get over the past. You two just work so well together”. 

Korra watched as she turned and walked away. Her old friend had come clean, but it didn’t fix the past. She was still furious, but that same person had saved her life. If it hadn’t been for her, she’d have long been dead. With a heavy sigh, she took her gloves off and headed for the locker room to change and get herself around for lunch with Asami.

_____________

A soft few knocks came from the door and Asami lifted her attention from her blueprint as it opened. Her face actually fell seeing the look of her girlfriend. Her eyes were a little puffy, giving away that she had been crying. A lot. Her hair was disheveled, shoulders slightly slumped. Not even a ‘hello’ came from her. Asami noticed her knuckles had been bleeding as she took a container from her bag, gently setting it and a fork in front of her. 

“Kor, sweetheart, what happened?”

“I lost my temper.. I’m okay though”.

“You very much don’t look okay. Don’t lie to me”.

Korra looked down at her feet, chewing at her lip. “Yeah.. When I went to see Pema, Kuvira approached me when I was working out”.

Asami stood, making her way to wrap her arms around Korra. “Did she do anything?”

Laying her head on her girlfriend’s shoulder she whispered, “no. Just wanted to talk. She told me everything about.. that night. I went to change and maybe sorta let it out on a locker”.

“Did you break a knuckle of anything?”

“Nah. At least not that I know of”.

“Good. I really don’t want to have to explain to your parents how you broke your hands”. Asami gave her a kiss to the side of the head. “Did you bring anything for yourself to eat?”

“No. Not really hungry right now. Ya know..” Giving a slight shrug, Korra pulled back and sat in the chair in front of Asami’s desk. 

Sitting down in her own chair, Asami opened the container. A smile came to her face as she noticed it wasn’t takeout. Korra had made her a homemade meal of fried rice and noodles with a side of fruit.

“Too much?” Korra asked a bit sheepishly.

“Nope. Just right. Only wish you would have brought your own”.

“I still have appetite issues when my mood shifts.. but it usually resolves a lot faster these days. I’ll definitely be ready to have dinner”.

“I’ll hold you to that”.

_______________

Korra dropped Asami’s hand as soon as they saw her parents. She wanted to tell them about their rekindled relationship as soon as she could, but was suddenly shying away from having that conversation. At least for the moment. There was suddenly no way she was going to let it be the first conversation they had.

_ We’re just friends. She wanted a vacation so I brought her with me. Simple as that. _

Running her hand through her hair, she let out a quiet groan. Suddenly keeping their relationship a secret again was already proving frustrating.

“Sweetheart? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just. I didn’t realize how much I’m gonna hate hiding... us again. I wanted to tell them right away but now I don’t and I just really want to hold your hand and stuff”.

Asami let out an airy chuckle, giving Korra’s hand a final squeeze before they met up with Tonraq and Senna. They knew she was going to be joining their daughter for a bit of a vacation, so at least her being there wasn’t going to be a huge shock. She had even went as far as packing a separate suitcase in an effort to make it really seem like they were ‘just friends’. 

As Korra embraced her parents, Asami couldn’t help but let her eyes wander over her girlfriend. Even all bundled up for the South Pole’s weather, she was still as attractive as ever. And she would love to see those furs and that coat in a pile on the floor, a low fire going, Korra on her lap and grinding into her... She was ripped from her thoughts and fantasy as Tonraq approached her.

“Asami.. it’s good to see you again. I’m guessing you’re feeling better?”

“Much, yes. Thank you. It’s good to see you again as well,” she stammered slightly, shoving the blush away from her cheeks and ignoring the faint pulse starting between her legs.

_ We’re just friends for the moment. Spirits, Korra, sneak me into your room sooner rather than later. _

They had made the arrangement that Tonraq and Senna would only know that she was going to stay in a guest room. Korra enthusiastically agreed to sneak her into her room for the night and let her return to the guest room before either of her parents woke up. At least until they actually told them that they were definitely dating again.

“I’m glad you and Korra made amends. You’re a very good... friend to her. I really am sorry for everything that happened between you two”. Tonraq gave her a sad smile, wishing that none of it would have happened the way it had.

“I’m glad we did too. We’re still.. talking through some things. But at least we’re close enough for her to let me join her down here for a bit”. She wanted to tell him, just get it out. But she wasn’t about to overstep Korra’s request to wait for the moment.

The ride back to Korra’s parents wasn’t as quiet as Asami thought it would have been. Meals were talked about, Korra was informed about tribal matters that Asami wasn’t completely sure she should have overheard, and how Tonraq and Senna were going to be out of the house until late due to some chief things. Of course Korra had insisted she go as well, but if anyone could handle her stubbornness, it was her father. As soon as the mild argument started happening, they had arrived at the house, the two chiefs quickly exiting the vehicle for a ‘meeting’ as Korra put it.

“You’re not going”.

“Dad! I’m a chief too. You just said it was chief related. I should be there”.

“And you just got in from a long flight. Take the rest of today to just.. relax”.

Korra folded her arms. “I’m going. Mom can stay home with Asami”.

Tonraq didn’t hesitate to mirror her posture. “I’ve already told the elders you wouldn’t be present because of the long flight. Take the rest of today to relax”.

“Dad!”

“Not up for an argument. You and Asami just make yourselves at home and enjoy a bit of her vacation together”.

“Fine,” she grumbled before motioning to her her mom and Asami that the brief conversation had ended. 

Once inside, Korra showed Asami to guest bedroom and helped her get her things settled in. 

“When do you want to tell them?”

“Um, well.. probably tomorrow since they’re both leaving for the rest of the day. I still can’t believe my dad told the elders I wouldn’t be there”.

“I know. But he did say it was a formal event, which would lead me to believe he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable not having a date”. 

“But-“

“We’re ‘just friends’ as far as they know, love. Besides.. we’ll have the house to ourselves”.

“I know we’ll have the house to ourselves. But- wait. We’ll have the house to ourselves! I mean.. if.. if you want to that is”. Korra rubbed the back of her neck with a blush creeping to her cheeks.

Closing the distance, Asami took Korra’s face in her hands and kissed her deeply. She felt her lover groan into her mouth as she got the hint that she did, in fact, want to. And with Tonraq and Senna out of the house for several hours, they would have plenty of time.

“Korra, I do want to,” she husked against chapped lips. “And I want to right now, but they’re still home”.

Nodding in understanding for a brief moment, Korra then captured her lips again. Her head was clouded by want as she nipped at Asami’s bottom lip.

“Korra, love.. n-not right now,” she softly moaned against her lips.

“Right. Parents that don’t know we’re together”. With a soft sigh, she gave Asami a soft, forcibly restrained peck.

“Wait”. Asami stopped her from opening the door. As Korra turned back around, she wiped a small smudge of lipstick off the corner of her mouth. “You had a little something there. ‘Just friends’ don’t make out in guest rooms, ya know”.

Korra rolled her eyes playfully. “Then I’d fix yourself up too. I’ll see you downstairs”.

____________

“I’m glad you and Asami made some amends. She’s a good friend”.

“Yeah. I’m glad we did too. We still have a lot to talk through but.. I think I might have a chance again”.

“She seems to have recovered well from the accident”.

“Uh.. yeah. Mom, she started going down the same road I did after Zaheer. That’s why it took so long for me to decide to come back. I couldn’t just let her do that”.

Senna gave her cheek a kiss. “I’m proud of you. And how about you? Are you doing okay?”

“Y-yeah. I mean.. I wanted to drink. A lot. But how could I help her stop if I started doing the same thing?”

“You’ll get her back, Korra. Helping her through that, without you starting it back up yourself or running, speaks for itself. You’re definitely doing the right thing”.

Korra gave her mom a smile. She may not know they’re already back together, but she could already see there was something between them. 

“We’re, uh, I dunno right now. I’m letting her take her time with figuring out if she actually does want me back. Mom, I..” she took a quick look over her shoulder as she heard the woman in question descending the stairs, “.. love her”.

“Keep showing her that you do and you shouldn’t have a problem winning her heart over. Again”. 

“Honey, are you ready to go?” Tonraq called from the front door.

“Yes, dear,” she called back before embracing her daughter. “I’m proud of you. Take this time alone and talk to her. Try to not bury your feelings”.

“Thanks, mom. Have a good time”.

_____________

Korra had made them a small, quick dinner before deciding to cuddle up on the couch to watch a movie. That idea flew out the window within the first ten minutes as a small kiss quickly turned into a make out session. They had the house to themselves after all. 

Most clothing had already been discarded. Asami’s shirt was tossed to the back of the couch, her bra landed on the coffee table, and pants in a heap on the floor. She had thrown Korra’s shirt across the room haste, her chest wrap joined her own pants, and Korra’s pants only made it to around her ankles before she climbed onto her lap.

Korra held Asami’s hips, guiding her in a slow grind on her lap. She let out a grunt as she raised her hips into the woman on top of her.

“Korra.. bedroom..”

“It can wait. They shouldn’t be back for a while still,” she panted against Asami’s lips before capturing her mouth in a heated, hungry kiss. 

Asami’s hands tangled into Korra’s hair with a moan as their tongues slid against each other. She felt strong hands tighten on her hips and bucked them out of the established rhythm slightly into Korra’s abs. Feeling Korra move from attacking her mouth to the top of her right breast sent a shiver up her spine. She guided her mouth to the nipple, which Korra eagerly took into her mouth and received a drawn out moan. 

She reached around Asami’s backside and tugged her panties off to the side. A moan left her own lips around the nipple in her mouth as she found her girlfriend’s lower lips already dripping with a finger. Her other hand pressed against Asami’s lower back, silently telling her to arch her back so she could have more access to her core from behind as she switched nipples. 

“K-Korra,” she whimpered, feeling that finger teasing her opening. “Please”.

She let go of the nipple with a soft pop, giving Asami’s sternum several open mouthed kisses. “Hearing you beg like that is honestly adorable”.

“Sh-shut up and.. ah.. k-orra!” 

A smirk fell to her lips as she had slipped her finger into her girlfriend as best as she could with the angle she was at. “And what?”

“Move your damn hand. I.. I need m-more”. She brought Korra’s face back to her breasts as she moved her hand from around her to between them. 

Korra took no hesitation in diving two fingers into the dripping folds above her, using her other hand to deliver a sharp smack to Asami’s left ass cheek. Giving it a firm grasp, she guided her in a grind onto her hand as she pumped her fingers. 

“Ride me, baby,” she whispered against the breast in front of her face, voice heavy with lust. 

Korra’s words alone almost pushed her over the edge. She wasn’t usually the commanding one in bed, but when she was, it always managed to somehow make Asami wetter. She eagerly did as she was told, sitting back and holding onto Korra’s knees as she rolled her hips in tempo with the fingers pumping into her. 

They were far too caught up in each other as well as the moans and whimpers filling the living room neither of them heard the door open and close. Neither of them heard the boots shuffling off, coats being hung. Neither knew Tonraq and Senna had returned an hour early. That was until Korra’s father announced his presence by clearing his throat. 

Korra quickly removed her fingers from Asami, pulling her panties back to where they belonged and fumbling for a blanket. “D-dad! You’re home, uh.. early,” she gasped out, throwing the blanket around Asami’s shoulders. They were both stunned, expressions holding the horror of being caught by her parents. 

“You would have known if you had checked your phone, but I see you were.. occupied. Is this the something you wanted to talk about that I’m thinking it is?”

“Um.. uh, aha.. yup. We’re uh, back together. We’re, um, gonna take this to my room so if you could maybe erase this from your mind.. yup, okay,” Korra stammered out, face impossibly red.

Asami pulled the blanket tighter around herself as Korra stood quickly while holding onto her. Kicking her pants off from around her ankles, she pulled Asami as close as possible to hide her own chest as her girlfriend wrapped her legs around her waist. 

“S-sorry!” Asami called to Tonraq and Senna as Korra quickly made her way to her room.

Senna chuckled quietly, lightly nudging her husband who was clearly embarrassed by what he had witnessed. “She’s obviously your daughter”.

_______________

Korra laid Asami on her bed as she laughed in pure embarrassment. “So, uh, do you want to finish this or was that too much of a mood kill?”

“As painfully awkward as that was, I definitely do want to finish. You have me all sorts of worked up”. She pulled Korra down on top of her by the shoulders and into a deep kiss.

Korra swallowed Asami’s moan as she pressed her knee between her legs, groaning herself at how wet her girlfriend’s panties were. She suddenly didn’t care that her parents had come home or care if they heard the moans and screams from downstairs. They were both achingly turned on and they weren’t about to stop now.

Asami tangled her fingers into Korra’s hair as she rolled her hips for the friction against her knee. She ran her tongue along the back of Korra’s upper teeth, earning herself a whimper. Moving her hands from her hair, she raked her nails down the muscled back of her girlfriend and stopped at the top of her boy shorts.

“These are in the way, love,” she panted against Korra’s mouth.

Groaning at the loss of skin contact, Korra rolled back and sat on her knees. “And your’s aren’t?” she asked, voice low.

“Then do something about it,” Asami teased with a wink.

At that, Korra all but ripped the offending item off her girlfriend before quickly kicking her own off. She bit her lip as she tenderly parted Asami’s folds, watching a bead of arousal slowly run out of her opening. Unable to resist any longer, she easily slid two fingers into her and felt her own bead and string of arousal drip out of herself.

Asami leaned her head back, her lover’s name escaping her through a drawn out moan. Before she could really form any further words, Korra was hovering over her as she pumped her fingers and worked at her clit with her thumb. 

“Look at me, darling”. 

She let out a whimper and bucked her hipsinto Korra’s hand at her commanding, yet soft tone. Letting her eyes flutter open, just above her were lust and love filled blues staring right back. The love for her showing through Korra’s eyes nearly toppled her over the edge. She dug her nails into her upper back as she felt strong fingers hook into her front wall, the thumb of her lover switching between slow circles and quick vertical rubs. 

Korra’s gaze into her lover’s green eyes never wavered. She slowed the speed of her fingers just as Asami’s walls began to flutter. 

“Korra,” she managed to breathe out, “what-“

“Shhh. Not yet,” she whispered as she slipped a third finger in and keeping the slower pace. 

Asami let out a pleading whimper at the additional finger. Her brain had stopped being able to form coherent words, limited to her girlfriend’s name and a few profanities between moans and gasps. She knew Korra was dragging this out, determined to give her a powerful orgasm. A breath caught in her throat at the sudden, rough hooking of fingers right into her sweet spot causing her eyes to flutter closed.

“Hey, I said look at me,” Korra whispered into her ear before going back to hovering over Asami.

She forced her eyes back open to look at Korra, her breath occasionally catching in a sharp gasp any time she would hit that spot. “What.. what about you?”

“I can wait, love. You first this time”. She dropped down to rest on her elbow and used her free hand to tuck some of Asami’s hair behind her ear just as she quickened the pace of her fingers again.

“Shit! K-Korra.. ah.. don’t you dare.. st-stop”.

“I won’t, baby,” Korra groaned at the nails digging into her shoulder blades as Asami arched into her.

Korra knew she was painfully close. The whimpers, gasps, and moans coming from the woman under her definitely giving it away. She watched as Asami struggled to keep eye contact, her eyes occasionally snapping shut in pleasure, only to reopen after a few breaths knowing that’s what Korra wanted.

“Let go, ‘Sami. I’m right here. I love you”.

Asami’s breath caught, a silent scream on her lips as she arched into Korra. The silence from her didn’t last long as the first couple pulses of her walls washed over her, only to feel Korra quicken her fingers. Asami’s nails ran down her back as a pleasure filled scream occupied the room. She wouldn’t leave her sweet spot alone, continuing to hook her fingers into it roughly. 

“Give it all to me, darling,” Korra whispered against her neck after giving up on the eye contact. She wasn’t going to force it with Asami’s riding wave after wave of the orgasm that she was prolonging.

“K-Kor!” It had come out as more of a yelp, quickly followed by a moan that bordered on another scream as she came again.

“There ya go, beautiful,” Korra mumbled against Asami’s neck, slowing her fingers to finally help her ride out the aftershocks. She knew the sheets were at least a little wet now as her mouth had been nowhere near her girlfriend’s lower lips.

Kissing a trail from her neck to her collarbones, Korra sat up slowly and withdrew her fingers and licked them clean. A soft moan escaped her as she noticed Asami’s legs tremble.

“You okay, love?” She asked softly, gently rubbing her thighs.

“Yes, sweetheart, I’m okay,” Asami panted in response, still trying to catch her breath and get her bearings about her. 

“Good”. Korra laid down next to her after giving her a soft kiss.

“But,” Asami started after a moment, rolling to her side and pushing Korra onto her back, “if my memory serves me right, it’s your turn”.

“Last I knew, your memory has always been pretty spot on,” she breathed, watching as her girlfriend straddled her hips. 

Asami started kissing at her neck, tossing in a few bites just to make sure the rest of the tribe knew their chief was definitely taken. A protest of her leaving visible marks quickly left Korra’s mind, replaced by an encouraging moan. Asami trailed lower, along her collarbones and down between her breasts. Korra raised her hips, trying to get Asami to get the hint: she was aching and more than ready.

“Eager?”

“Maybe a bit,” she managed to whimper. “I doubt I’ll be long at this point”.

“Mmm. I’ll be sure to make that happen,” Asami mumbled, trailing kisses and love bites down Korra’s stomach.

No need for any further encouragement, Asami positioned herself between Korra’s legs. A smirk formed as she saw just how wet her girlfriend was, a small pool of arousal forming on the sheets that very clearly wasn’t from herself. She held Korra’s hips steady as she ran her tongue through her folds, ending with brushing her tongue against her clit.

“Ah, f-fuck.. ‘Sami..” she gasped. She knew she was sensitive from her level of arousal, but not nearly as sensitive as she actually was.

Asami hummed softly against Korra’s clit while sliding two fingers into her without resistance. With her free hand, she tried to control the desperate rolling of her girlfriend’s hips into a more guided rock. She could already tell how close she was. 

Korra locked eyes with the woman between her legs. For a moment it seemed as if they communicated through looks alone. Korra silently telling her how good everything she was doing felt, and to not stop. Asami replying in silence that she wouldn’t and that she tasted so good and wanted more of it.

Korra tossed her head back into the pillows with a loud moan as Asami suddenly hooked her fingers. She could feel the pressure building in her lower abdomen with every slow circle of her lover’s tongue around her clit with the occasional flick. Digging her fingers into Asami’s hair, she rocked her hips into the face between her legs. She felt a smirk form around her clit as the fingers inside of her quickened. 

“Let go, Korra. I can feel you’re right on the edge-“

“Sh-shut up. Please.. we can.. talk- aha- after”. 

Korra arched her back at feeling Asami’s tongue back on her clit. A few more licks and well placed fingers made her see stars. Unfortunately, Asami’s head was vulnerable to the vice-like grip of Korra’s thighs as wave after wave of orgasm crashed over her. Fortunately, that meant she could prolong the pleasure with slow licks and thrusts of her fingers. She could only faintly hear Korra’s grunts, moans, and yells of pleasure as she continued. There was a point where she tapped on the top of Asami’s head, signaling she was spent. 

“You’re going to have to let my head go, love,” Asami informed her, though it was muffled, and tapped her thighs after removing her fingers. 

A pleasant shudder ran through Korra as she forced her legs apart, freeing her girlfriend’s head. She glanced down as she tried to catch her breath, meeting green eyes with a smile. 

“I love you, ‘Sami. So damn much”.

Asami crawled up and cuddled close to her, kissing her lovingly. “I love you too, Kor”.

“So.. do you think they regret coming home early?”

“Ugh.. don’t remind me,” Asami rolled her eyes jokingly. “Tomorrow morning is going to be..”

“So painfully awkward at breakfast,” Korra finished. “Let’s just hope they erased everything they actually saw from their minds”.

“Hmmm.. agreed. This,” Asami delicately ran her fingers over Korra’s breasts, “is for my eyes only”.

“A-agreed.” She shivered slightly as everything she felt was heightened. 

After pulling Asami close and letting her adjust so her head was on her chest, Korra pulled the blanket over them. She really, really hoped that there wasn’t too much teasing come morning.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first full day back at the South Pole turns out to be one thing after another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is kinda everywhere, so I’m really sorry if it’s confusing. 
> 
> At least we get set up for some sort of angst by the end of this one?

Asami was the first awake, as usual. She gently ran her fingers over Korra’s back and felt the raised ridges of the scratches she had left the previous night. 

_ Did I really scratch her that bad?! Oops. _

Brushing the hair off Korra’s face, she watched as her eyebrow and lip would occasionally twitch as she dreamt. Asami had always missed this. There was just something about watching her beloved sleep peacefully without nightmares haunting her night after night that never failed to ease her own heart and mind. With a smile, she stroked her cheek tenderly.

“I love you,” she whispered as to not wake the sleeping woman beside her. 

Asami felt Korra move, only rolling to her side and her hand falling onto her hip with a deep sigh. An almost silent chuckle left her as Korra’s fingers twitched ever so slightly. She couldn’t help but wonder what she was dreaming of.

“How can you be so adorable? It should be illegal”.

She bit her lip to silence a laugh at her girlfriend’s soft grunt. It was clearly not in direct response to her, but the timing was uncanny. Asami felt a gentle tug at her hip a few moments later.

“Did I wake you, love?”

“No,” Korra mumbled, eyes barely cracked open. “But I do love waking up to your pretty face”.

“Oh, please,” she laughed. “There is no way I look that good in the mornings”.

“You always look good, babe”. Korra brought a hand up to rub the sleep from her eyes.

Asami rolled her eyes with a smile. She was never shy to admit she was attractive sometimes, usually when she was at a formal event or done up for work. It wasn’t that she felt otherwise at any other time, just less so. Especially now. She knew her hair was likely a mess from the fun of the previous night on top of the typical bed hair and that her makeup had been lost through the night. And yet, Korra still found her beautiful. 

“Well, I also happen to know you always look good too”.

“Whatever you say, ‘Sami. Not many would agree”.

“That’s a lie”. Asami gave Korra a kiss, the duration being cut painfully short as a soft knock came from the door.

Korra cleared her throat before answering, “y-yeah?”

“Breakfast is ready if you girls are hungry”.

“We’ll, uh, be down soon, mom. Thanks”. Korra gave a soft, yet relieved chuckle. “At least it wasn’t my dad”.

“You know, we’re going to have to face them both. But we also need clothes”.

“Yeah, I know”. She gave Asami’s cheek a kiss before standing and stretching, well aware she was staring. “I’ll get your things from the guest room”.

Asami watched with a faint smirk as Korra went to the bathroom, eyes trailing over the scratches just as the door closed. She had broke skin in some places. It was just a waiting game to see how long it would take Korra to notice not only the scratches, but also the very visible hickeys on her neck. And it had only taken long enough for her to use the toilet and wash her hands.

“Asami!”

“Yes, love?” She called back, blatant smile in her voice.

Korra opened the bathroom door, her robe in her hand. “What-“

“Hey, I didn’t hear you complaining one bit. How’s your back feeling?”

A blush rose to Korra’s face. She definitely had not been complaining at all. In fact, she was encouraging it. She definitely had no room to complain now.

“Um.. it’s fine. The claw marks you left do burn a bit, though. Not that I’m complaining”.

“Oh, I definitely know you’re not,” Asami said with a wink.

Korra put her robe on and made her way to the bedroom door. Their clothes were likely still in the living room, so she made the decision to avoid her parents for a little longer by going to the guest room and grabbing Asami’s suitcase. As she opened the door, her blush only grew. Their clothes had been neatly folded and placed by the door.

She picked up the pile of clothing, suddenly extremely thankful that they had waited to remove their underwear in her room. That would have just led to more teasing about the situation they had been caught in. Turning, she walked back to the bed.

“So, uh, I have no idea when one of them came by and dropped these off,” she said sheepishly.

Asami sat up and took the pile from her. “Well, I’m definitely not putting these back on”.

“I don’t blame you,” she laughed. “I’ll be right back”.

_____________

“Good morning, you two,” Tonraq greeted, looking up from his plate.

“Mornin’, dad”. 

Korra continued to the kitchen with Asami following. She was trying to figure out just how long it would be before the teasing was going to happen. The two made their plates and each grabbed a cup of coffee before joining Tonraq and Senna at the table.

“So...,” Korra started in an attempt to break the awkward silence that had fallen over everyone. “Any big plans for the day?”

“Just some more paperwork. One of the villages wants us to send some of our warriors out to train some of their own. Oh, and some of our guards are pressing to have... um,” Tonraq looked to Senna who gave him a nod, “Zaheer relocated, away from the South Pole”.

Korra stopped chewing, staring at Tonraq. She hadn’t been concerned about the man that almost ended her life in years. He was in prison and she felt she had nothing more to worry about when it came to him.

“I mean, we don’t have to approve the request, Korra. Their thinking was to get him as far away from us, from you, as possible”.

Asami rested her hand on Korra’s thigh in an effort to bring some sort of comfort. “Where would he be moved to?”

“We’re still working through that. Wherever it may be, there needs to be absolutely no way he can even attempt to get out”.

“I could draw something up. If.. if that’s an option”.

Korra had swallowed the bite of food she had taken, but was still silent. She was lost somewhere in her thoughts between the fear of trying to transfer Zaheer and the hope of finding a place as far away as possible from her family, as well as Asami and anyone else who would be at risk. Her brain had also started to bring the past to the front of her mind, no matter how hard she tried to push it back.

_ Shit. What if he breaks out of transport? What if he gets to Asami to get to me? What if he actually kills me this time, but in front of her? But he needs to be put somewhere far away from her and my parents. I can’t let him threaten those I love. _

“Korra?”

Pulled from her thoughts, Korra noticed that her hands had become fists on the table at some point. A single bead of sweat trailed down the back of her neck and she became aware of Asami’s hand on her lower back.

“I’ll have to look at the paperwork,” Korra finally spoke while trying to hide the slight waver in her voice. “Can this conversation wait for now?”

“Of course,” Tonraq answered in understanding. “Are you okay?”

“I’m.. alright I think”.

“Sweetie, don’t lie to us. Are you really okay?”

“Mom, I’m okay. Just... I haven’t had to worry about him in so long”. Korra furrowed her brow, taking another bite of her food. “And if I’m being honest, I have no idea how I even want to handle this. As a chief, that is”. 

Asami exchanged looks with Tonraq. Korra was clearly turning something around in her mind, something that slightly worried Asami. She clearly wanted to handle the situation, but her status was seeming to get in the way of her ideas.

“Do you need to bounce some ideas around?”

“No. Not until I see the documents”. Korra hadn’t mean for her tone to be short with anyone so she tried to amend herself before returning to her breakfast, “thanks though”.

After a few moments, Tonraq cleared his throat in an attempt to break the tense silence. “I don’t know if I should be shocked you’re even hungry or if it’s definitely to be expected after the night you had”.

Both Asami and Korra looked to a smirking Tonraq and Senna who was just shaking her head. Clearly he had been told to not bring it up, but, like father like daughter, he couldn’t resist at least a little teasing. 

Matching her father’s smirk, Korra matter-of-factly stated, “I’ll have you know, I didn’t eat anything last night. Just a bit of a taste”.

“So I’m guessing that means Miss Sato enjoyed the full course?”

A blush raced to Korra’s cheeks as she tried to desperately to think of a retort. “W-well, um.. definitely at least dessert?”

Tonraq raised his eyebrow. “Dessert? That’s the best you could come up with? Kid, judging by your neck, she definitely had more than just dessert”.

“That’s a fair point. I mean, even for someone from the city, she sure does like the food from here... especially if you guys made it”. Korra sat back in her chair, arms folded, and smirk never leaving her face.

Asami’s face went red. She was in no way expecting that to come from her girlfriend. Especially to her own father. All she could do was look to Senna for any sort of explanation.

“Sorry, dear. Like father, like daughter. I’m convinced the teasing is hereditary”. Senna shook her head with a chuckle. “I told him to not bring it up. And normally Korra shies away from this kind of talk around us”.

“We are literally right here, mom”.

“Well, Asami,” Tonraq’s smirk turned into a shit eating smile, “I hope the meal we made has been sufficient. And continues to be”.

“For spirit’s sake,” Asami sighed under her breath.

Korra’s face went even redder at her father’s words. She had no comeback for that. 

_ Yup. Never gonna live this down. _

“But in all seriousness,” Senna gave Tonraq a look that told him to stop with the teasing, “we’re so pleased you two are back together”.

Korra looked to Asami with a smile. “Me too. We have been for a little while now”.

“We didn’t want to tell anyone right away”. Asami covered Korra’s hand on the table. “Mostly just in case. Tonraq, Senna, your daughter is amazing. I’m so glad she’s gotten better. I definitely missed this side of her, the caring and gentle side. I think her and I are in agreement that we’re determined to make this work this time”.

Korra bit her lip to try to stop her smile from getting too large. Hearing Asami say that she was also determined to make it work this time made her heart soar. And then she remembered the looming question of if she was going to move back to the city full time.

_ It can wait for now. I’ll say something by the end of Asami’s vacation. I still have to ask her anyhow. _

_________________

Korra sat at her desk, staring at the file of the man that had almost ended her life. She worked her jaw, both wanting to read through it and stuff it back with the rest of the prison’s paperwork. With a hard swallow, she opened the cover and her eyes landed on one of the photographs of him.

She felt frozen seeing Zaheer’s face after all these years. They may have been just photos, but it still brought back so many memories she had buried for so long. Her hands began to shake, her breathing starting to catch.

_ He can’t hurt me anymore. He’s in prison. My family is safe. I’m safe. _

Korra pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. All she could see behind closed eyes was Zaheer’s smirk and the barrel of the gun. 

“It’s not real,” she choked out to herself. 

She never heard the knock or the door open. She didn’t know someone had entered until one of her guards spoke.

“Chief? Is everything alright?”

“I’m fine,” her voice wavered. Clearing her throat, she set her still trembling hands on her desk and looked to her guard. “What’s going on?”

“Are you available for a meeting?”

Korra closed the file in front of her. “Do you know what it’s about?”

“Chief?”

“I’m listening,” Korra responded, still waiting on the answer to the previous question.

“If I’m overstepping, I apologize. For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re back with Miss Sato”.

A smile came to Korra’s face remembering the quick kiss they had shared before she went into her office. Being public with their relationship again was, indeed, nice. Even if it was going to spark some conversations.

“Thank you. I am too. Now, what is this meeting about?”

“You actually needing to eat, even if you have work to do”.

“You could have just said Asami was here to see me,” Korra laughed softly. “She can come in”.

The guard gave a nod and a salute before exiting. As her the door closed, she looked back to the file and opened it past the first page. Printed words would be much easier to handle than the photos.

“Your mom said you hardly eat when you’re here”.

Korra looked up after turning the page. “I might lose track of time on occasion. How’s my mom treating you? Hopefully not too much teasing from her”.

Asami crossed the room, set bag of food on the desk, and gave Korra a kiss on the cheek. “No, not too much. She was the one who left our clothes by the door, by the way”.

“W-well at least it wasn’t my dad,” Korra mumbled, a faint tint of pink coming to her cheeks. “He most definitely would have said something”.

She watched as Asami sat across from her, finding the situation amusing. The tables seemed to have turned, Asami bringing her lunch and sitting across from her instead of it being the other way around as usual. She opened the bag and slid a container and fork to her girlfriend before taking out her own. 

“Is everything alright, Kor? You seem.. in your head”.

“Honestly, I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t have taken on the Zaheer thing and just left it to my dad”. Korra opened her container and took a bite of the fried fish Senna had made. “This is going to sound really, really stupid but I’m thinking about having a visitation with him”.

Asami’s face grew worried. Her girlfriend hasn’t had to deal with anything surrounding Zaheer in years. She was suddenly afraid on what that decision might do to her mental state, if it would make things bad again or if it would bring some sort of closure.

“I can go with you”.

“I appreciate it, ‘Sami, but I think this is something I need to do alone. You can join me, but you’ll need to stay outside”.

She nodded slowly. As much as she wanted to be next to Korra just in case, at least she could be there for her immediately after. “Are you actually going to do it?”

“I don’t really know yet. I still want to try to get through his file without a breakdown. I’m judging my decision on that”. Korra bit at her lip nervously, trying to think of a different topic to talk about for the moment.

“Well, whatever you decide, I’ll be here for you”. Asami noticed Korra’s nervousness and decided to try to change the topic. Her eyes eventually landed on the ring still on Korra’s finger. “You haven’t taken that off since..”

“Hm? Oh, yeah.. I was gonna take it off and let you decide what to do with it,” Korra chuckled softly, a deep blush rising to her cheeks. “But.. the one day I didn’t wear it, I felt unusually... naked. So I’ve kept it on. Does it bother you? Cause if so, I can find a cheap ring or something down here and replace it-“

“Sweetheart, stop. It doesn’t bother me”. It was her turn to blush. “I actually kinda really like it.. on you”.

_ I’ll still make you a new one. _

“Are you saying-“

“Not yet. No. M-maybe someday”.

A smile came to Korra’s face as Asami’s stammering definitely said different than her words. She couldn’t help but wonder if Asami truly trusted her to that level again so soon. Even though she wanted to think more about it, the question decided to present itself.

“Would it be okay for me to move back in with you?”

Asami closed her now empty container and put it and her fork back in the bag. “What kind of question is that? Of course it’s okay. More than, actually. I might have forgotten you hadn’t officially moved back yet”.

_ And now for the worst part of this conversation now that she said yes to that. _

“You know.. you’re still going to have to go back without me for a bit, right? I wasn’t completely sure you’d actually agree to it so soon”. Korra’s face fell slightly as she put her own empty container and fork back into the bag. “I still have a lot to take care of here before I move back to the city. And I’m not letting you drop Future Industries just to stay here longer”.

Asami let out a sigh. “I know. I’ve been trying to not think about that. How.. how long do you think you’re going to be after I fly home?”

Looking over the stack of paperwork on her desk, she let out a shaky breath as she ran a hand through her hair. “Probably a month. Even with my dad’s help with all of this”.

“I hate this, Kor”.

“I know, love. I do too. Wish I would have actually planned on moving back sooner”.

“Wait. You actually thought I’d say no?”

“I mean, we haven’t been back together very long,” Korra said, rubbing the back of her neck. “And with everything that happened before, you saying no was a likely possibility”.

“I guess I can understand that reasoning. Just know I really do love you, Korra. I.. always have. Even if I was furious with you and said I hated you so much”.

“That’s the past, babe. Let’s live in the now and focus on our future. I lo-“

The door to her office slammed open as two guards rushed in. “Chief, we hate to interrupt your lunch with Miss Sato, but we have a situation on the edge of town. Your father has already headed that way”.

Korra stood and quickly pulled her coat on. “What’s going on?!”

“It’s the Empire”.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me. Okay. I’ll be out in a moment”. 

Asami stood, quickly following her to the door. “Sweetheart, what’s-“

“I’ll explain later. I have to go. Go back to the house, I’ll send a guard with updates. I love you”.

Just before Korra could rush out, Asami grabbed her hand. “Be safe. Please”.

“I’ll do my best. Do you want an escort?”

Tears welled up in Asami’s eyes. She figured if Korra was asking her about an escort, the situation couldn’t be good. “N-no. I’ll be okay. It’s not too far. Korra, please, be careful and come back to me”.

“I will,” she whispered, pulling her into a tight embrace. “I love you”.

Asami held Korra’s face gently and gave her a lingering kiss. “I love you too”.

She watched as Korra ran out of the room and down the hall. Clasping her hands at her chest, she felt one of the guards place her hand on her shoulder. 

“She’ll be okay. Chief Korra is not only a great fighter in the ring, she’s one hell of a warrior too”.

“I know. It doesn’t ease the worry though”.

“I understand. Would you like me to take you back?”

“Actually.. could you please?”

________________

The door swung open and Senna and Asami could hear metal hitting the floor along with some pained grunts. They both quickly made their way to the front door to find both of their loves shedding their armor, using the wall and each other for support. No one spoke. 

Asami looked over Korra and noticed several cuts on her face and blood on her coat. “Sweetheart-“

“Not now, ‘Sami,” she grunted as she kicked her boots off and took her coat off, adding to the pile of discarded items. “I just want a shower”.

“Do you need me to call Katara?”

“No, mom!” Korra snapped and mostly limped towards her room, hand holding her side.

“Honey..” Senna looked to Tonraq for some sort of explanation.

“She needs to cool off. One of our own passed in her arms. She did everything she could but feels like it wasn’t enough”. His voice was solemn.

“What about her injuries? Should I get Katara to come over?”

“It wouldn’t hurt,” he sighed. “She got pinned up against a glacier and unfortunately our armor doesn’t have the best protection around the waist. All I know is they managed to use a blade on her. I don’t know how deep the wounds are, she wouldn’t let me check”.

Senna sighed with a nod. “And?”

“And the situation was dealt with. I don’t know why the Empire would attack us. We’ve done nothing but work with them to find a compromise with their contracts”.

“Tonraq. You know that’s not at all what I was asking”.

“I’m fine, dear. Just banged up. Asami, could you check on Korra? If she’s going to listen to anyone, it’s you”.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Asami asked. Of course her main worry was Korra, but she also cared deeply for her parents.

“I’ll be okay,” he responded, looking to Senna with a smile. “I came home to my wife. I have plenty of concern right here. Go check on yours”.

A blush rose to Asami’s face. She knew both Tonraq and Senna saw it before she turned and went up to Korra’s room.

_ Did he just imply.. oh, spirits. _

As she walked into the bedroom, Asami could hear sobs muffled by the sound of the shower. Korra may have walked into the house angry, but now she let herself break down. Asami quietly entered the bathroom.

“Korra, sweetheart?”

“I’m fine, Asami,” she said between sniffles.

“No, you’re not,” she whispered, pulling back the shower curtain after getting undressed. “Talk to me, love”.

Korra rested her head against the wall as Asami rested her hand on her back and got into the shower with her. “To start, this damn stab wound won’t stop bleeding. Second, I lost one of our warriors. Someone lost a husband, possible father, son, maybe a brother..”

She had tried to not focus on the red tinted water flowing down the drain. She was more concerned about her mental wellbeing. Her eyes eventually landed on the few cuts on Korra’s waist and the blood still slowly running through the tan fingers that were pressed to the wound in question. 

“Your mom is calling Katara for your dad. Let her look at that wound”.

“Yeah. Whatever. I still have to tell a family they lost a loved one. I should have been able to do more. I should have saved him!”

Asami wrapped Korra into a hug as a fresh wave of tears overcame her. “Shhhh. Korra, love, you did everything you possibly could have. I know you. You never quit, even when all other options have been tried. And even if that can be a double edged sword for you”.

She buried her face into Asami’s shoulder, clutching at her lower back with the hand that wasn’t pressed into her own side. Her girlfriend didn’t say anything, only rubbing her back until she calmed down enough to speak again.

“What a crazy first full day back, huh?” She sniffled. “Not even a full 24 hours and we got caught having sex, I have to deal with Zaheer again, and I find myself in a battle”.

“And here I thought I was on vacation,” Asami chuckled. “Oh, and to add to your list of craziness, your father so kindly implied that we’re married”.

Korra pulled back slightly, flinching at the water on her back that reminded her of the first point she had made. “He did what?”

“He said he has a wife to take care of him and that I needed to check on mine”.

“Spirits, I can’t believe him sometimes,” she muttered as she removed her hand to let the water run over the wound. 

“Let’s get you down to see Katara and get that closed up. None of your other injuries seem too terrible”.

“Nah. Mostly scrapes and bruises”. Korra turned and shut the water off. Hearing Asami let out a soft laugh, she turned back around. “What’s so funny?”

“Do you want her to check your back too?”

“Uh, no. There’s no reason to when I’d like..” she let her eyes wander over Asami’s nude form, “.. more”.

Asami’s eyebrows shot up for a moment. “Well, we’re not doing anything with you bleeding like that. C’mon”.

Before she could make it out of the shower, Korra had playfully pinched one of her nipples. Narrowing her eyes in jest, she returned the favor before getting out of the shower with her girlfriend quickly following. 

“I came home to you, didn’t I?”

“Korra!” She giggled as a finger poked at her sides. 

“What?” She never stopped poking and tickling Asami’s sides.

“St-stop that!” She grabbed Korra’s hand to halt her. “You’re bleeding, love”.

“You win this time, Sato”. Korra went to her dresser and pulled on a pair of boy shorts and quickly wrapped her chest before covering the wound back up with her hand.

“Is that all you’re going to wear?”

“I mean, yeah. I’ll have to take my shirt off anyhow and I don’t feel like getting blood on my nice pants. Or having to change, again, into my formal wear to go break some awful news to a family”. She sighed deeply, pushing back the tears at the loss of one of the tribe’s own. 

“Well, before you start leaking blood through your fingers again, let’s go downstairs”. Asami took Korra’s free hand after pulling on some clothing of her own and leading them down.

“Let’s have a look,” Katara said softly, gesturing to a chair that had been pulled to the middle of the room.

As Korra sat down to get her wounds tended, Asami sat across from Tonraq in the living room. She noticed him raise his eyebrow at seeing Korra’s back and looked at her with a knowing smile. Instead of saying anything, he gave a thumbs up. 

“So.. how are you feeling?” She asked to break the silence and stifle the pink coming to her face.

“I’ve been better, but I’ve also been much worse,” he adjusted the ice pack he was holding to his shoulder. “How’s she doing?”

“Mostly okay. Just the one wound that won’t stop bleeding and she’s.. hurting at the loss. My condolences to the tribe”.

“I appreciate it, Asami. It’s never easy news to break, no matter how many times I’ve had to. Korra’s going to need you tonight”.

Asami nodded. She knew Korra was going to follow through with her duties, no matter how much it would hurt.

“If she’s anything like him,” Senna spoke up, “and trust me, she is, she’ll likely be in a rut for a few days. I remember the first time Tonraq had to break this kind of news to a family. I don’t like to bring up Korra’s mental health, but this is going to be much harder on her than it was him, Asami”.

Before Asami could speak, Korra entered the room and sat herself on her lap. “Katara said we’re good and should heal up just fine”.

Asami wrapped her arms around Korra’s waist and adjusted the weight on her legs slightly. “Aren’t you going to put clothes on, love?”

Tonraq let out a deep chuckle, shaking his head. “And here I thought your goal was the opposite”.

“Dad!”

“What? If last night was any indication-“

“Seriously, dad. Stop. I really think I’ve dealt with enough for the day,” Korra groaned, clearly not in the mood for any further teasing. “Not to mention one last thing I’d rather not have to do”.

The room filled with a heavy silence. Asami rubbed Korra’s stomach gently with a thumb in an effort to bring at least a little comfort to her. Senna squeezed Tonraq’s hand.

“I can go with you, Korra”.

“No. I’ll.. go with a guard. The standard”. She gave the hand on her stomach a gentle squeeze before standing and making her way to her room.

________________

When Korra returned, she passed by everyone in the dining room without a word. Her appetite was long gone and all she wanted was to be alone. She made her way to her room, stripped off her clothes, and left them in a pile at the foot of the bed before going to the bathroom and starting a bath.

As Korra sat in the water, the event of having to bear the worst news to a family plagued her mind. The way her guard removed his helmet as the door opened, the salute they both gave before she held out the fallen warrior’s helmet and arm band. The pained and devastated scream of his wife as her knees buckled in sorrow. 

She hugged her knees to her chest as the fresh memory of the kids hugging her legs,not completely understanding the situation came to mind. The way she had knelt down and gave them each a hug as the guard spoke to the wife, now a widow. She had to put on a strong front and choke her own tears down.

_ I didn’t save him. _

All Korra had wanted to do was stay and comfort the family, but she knew she couldn’t. Her and her guard gave their condolences and left. Once they had gotten far enough away from the house, Korra cried in the arms of her guard. Thankfully he knew it was her first time delivering that kind of news and stayed until she had calmed down enough to get home safely.

She never heard Asami join her in the bathroom and didn’t realize she had started crying. Only once she got into the tub behind her did she become aware she wasn’t alone.

“I didn’t save him, ‘Sami,” Korra cried, curling into her girlfriend’s embrace. “He had a wife and two kids”.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. You did everything you could to try to save him”. Asami put soap on a washcloth and gently started washing Korra’s shoulders and neck. “You know, you shouldn’t have the stitches submerged”.

“I know. I needed to try to relax and this was the first thing that came to mind”. Korra closed her eyes and laid her head back. “Today has been.. stressful”.

“I can’t begin to imagine,” she whispered softly. 

Asami knew this was going to be a rough night. It seemed all of Korra’s duties as chief hit her all at once in the same day. She hoped she could talk her into taking a day off for a breather after the day she just went through. Until then, she would hold Korra through the night and be there if she needed to talk through anything, no matter the hour. 

“‘Sami?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“I love you”.

“I love you too. Bro-“

“Broken bits and all?” Korra whispered, lacing her fingers with Asami’s as a faint smile crept to her face.

“Yes, love. Broken bits and all”.

“Good. Cause I love you and your broken bits and all too”.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t really have a huge summary for this one sooo enjoy?
> 
> Author may have been a little tipsy writing most of this. Oops.

When Asami woke, she quickly realized Korra wasn’t in bed. Judging from the coolness of the spot that was usually comfortingly warm, she hadn’t been for a little while. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, finally seeing the woman she had been looking for sitting at her desk with a blanket draped over her shoulders. Whatever she was reading, followed by her writing, had her full attention and she hadn’t even noticed Asami get out of bed. Korra jumped slightly at the hands gently placed on her shoulder, dropping the pen she was using. 

“You okay, sweetheart?” Asami asked softly as she began to rub her shoulders over the blanket.

“Mmmhm. I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep so I decided to...” she looked down at the file in on her desk, her voice trailing off in the middle of her rambling.

“Zaheer?”

Korra nodded with a sigh. “I guess execution isn’t a choice since he’s already been tried and sentenced to life in prison”.

“Korra-“

“Even a chief can’t override the judge’s decision. And I wasn’t chief at the time of the incident so he wasn’t tried for attempted assassination, only attempted murder of me and murder of the two others”.

“Sweet-“

Korra rubbed the bridge of her nose with a groan. “So the only way to get him away from my family is to transfer him. The problem is, the only max security prisons not here are too close to the city for my comfort. Too close to you. And me when I move back in a month or so. And we’re having issues with the Empire right now so we can’t really chuck him out to the island-“

“Korra!” Asami had moved to her side and cupped her face, making Korra look at her. “Sweetheart, breathe. When I get home, I’m going to draw up some plans and try to get a deal set with someone, somewhere. I’ve already talked to your dad about it”.

“Did you miss the point of how anywhere not the prison island of the Empire is too close and how we’re, for some stupid reason, not on good terms with them right now?”

“Which is why I have some plans in mind and I want to get Chief Beifong involved. Not many say no to her, regardless of how other nations feel about each other,” Asami soothed, gently rubbing Korra’s cheeks with her thumbs. “We’re going to figure this out, okay?”

Korra nodded before leaning into her girlfriend’s touch. They were both well aware that she was just completely throwing herself into this one case as a distraction from the events from a few days ago. It was a situation that Asami knew all too well, using work as a distraction from everything else. 

“Are you hungry?”

Korra closed her eyes with a sigh, “not really”.

“Kor, I know what you’re doing and believe me, it’s not exactly healthy”.

Korra pulled back, suddenly growing irritated. “It’s healthier that what I want to do. Would you rather I drown myself in alcohol or work?”

“Hey, that’s not what I meant”.

“Then what the fuck did you mean?”

Asami reached for Korra’s hand, which she promptly pulled away. At that she knew for certain her girlfriend was in the midst of some sort of mood shift, a limbo of not knowing where she was going to end up.

“Did you take your meds?” She asked with a sigh, already knowing the answer.

“Not yet,” Korra grumbled back. “I’m busy. If you’re that concerned about it, they’re in the drawer of my nightstand”.

“I’m going to get you some water. I’ll be right back”.

“Okay”.

Asami had to force her own heart rate to ease back to normal as she made her way to the kitchen. She didn’t have time for her own anxiety right now. Korra needed her.

_ She’s not going to leave me again. Get it together, Sato. Distracting herself with work is better than falling back to substances. She’s not going to leave- _

“Asami? Is everything okay?” 

She hadn’t completely noticed she had made it to the kitchen and was gripping the edge of the counter until Senna’s voice pulled her from her mind. Releasing her grip from the counter, Asami turned to face Senna.

“I.. Korra hasn’t taken her medicine yet. So I came down to get some water for her”.

“But are you okay, dear?”

“I will be. I have some of my own.. fears I have to work around sometimes,” she spoke softly.

“I understand”. Senna moved and pulled a glass from a cabinet and filled it with water. “You know we’re both here if you need to talk about anything. You’re essentially part of the family”.

Asami took the glass from her. “I know. And thank you”.

She returned the smile Senna had given and went to head back to Korra’s room. Only to be stopped again by the calming voice of her girlfriend’s mother.

“I know she can be a lot to handle sometimes,” she chuckled, “but she loves you. Seeing the way you take care of each other and it not being mostly one sided is finally.. healthy. For you both. I hope one day soon you’ll be officially a part of this family”.

Asami was at a loss for words, a rarity for her. In just a matter of a few days, both of Korra’s parents have more or less said that they wanted to see them get married. She wasn’t sure if that’s what she wanted on the surface, but something about that thought brought up a new, yet old feeling from deep within her. And yet, Asami tried to bury it again with the thoughts of anything like that being too soon.

_ Right? We only recently officially got back together. And she fell off the face of the earth for over two years without much communication. It’s gotta be too early. But.. I never truly stopped loving her. Not once. Shit.. what do I do? _

All Asami could manage was a quiet, “thank you” before continuing her path to the bedroom.

As she walked in, she noticed Korra hadn’t moved. She was still intently reading the file in front of her, but Asami could also see how tense her jaw was. Korra definitely had every right to be angry with the situation she was presented, every right to be frustrated with not having a clear answer on how to proceed. Especially since she was determined to keep Zaheer as far away as possible from everyone she loved. Asami moved quietly to the nightstand and retrieved Korra’s medications.

Korra glanced over at the pills and water as Asami set them down next to her hand. Asami watched as she took the couple of medications brought to her, relieved a small smile finally came to her face.

“Thanks, babe. I’m, uh, sorry I kinda snapped a few minutes ago. It’ll be a little bit before the meds kick in, so.. uh.. yeah”. Korra turned her attention back to the file, not wanting Asami to leave but also wanting to be left alone.

Asami gave the top of her head a kiss before sitting on the edge of the bed. “If you don’t want to talk yet, you can say so. I just wanted to let you know that we got land secured and approval for the cultural center. I.. would like you there for the ground breaking”.

“Really?! That’s awesome, babe!” Korra turned to face her momentarily. “And of course I’ll be there for the ground breaking. You won’t have to worry about that”.

“I thought you’d appreciate some good news. Construction can start as soon as you move back. I’ll leave the final decision on that to you.. chief”.

“Sure thing. I still have all this bullshit here to get through and then I’ll move back and we can start... um..” Korra’s face flushed as she quickly flipped the page in the file.

“We can start what?” Asami asked, raising her eyebrow.

“N-nothing! Uhm.. I dunno. Just.. never mind”.

“Korra. What’s on your mind?”

“I just love you, okay? Like. So much. So.. I was thinking.. we could start working on our future?”

“I like the sound of that. Whatever that may be”.

For a moment, Asami was glad Korra was occupied with the file in front of her. There was no possible way she could’ve fought the red in her cheeks at her own thoughts of their future together. 

_ Marriage? Kids? Okay, maybe I need to slow down. We were so close to all of that before, though. Does she even want kids? Spirits, would we have even gotten back together if I did have one in the time we were apart? I definitely need to slow down. Maybe she’s not even ready for all of that. _

While Korra dove into the file more and more, she had chosen to pick out a book from Korra’s shelf. She read until she noticed the physical shift to relaxation in her girlfriend as the medications finally started to take effect.

“You, uh, wanna go to the prison with me?”

“You’re going to visit him?!” Asami shut the book, looking to Korra.

“Yeah. I think it’ll give me some closure with all of that. I hope. Either that or it’s going to bring everything back”.

_______________

“Are you sure about this?” Asami asked as Korra turned the snowmobile off.

“Nope”. Korra took Asami’s hand as they walked to the prison’s doors.

“You know you don’t have to do this”. 

Korra led them into the lobby. She knew this was probably not the best idea, but she wanted some closure. Or at least attempt for it. 

“I know. Just wait here for me. I shouldn’t be too long,” Korra said softly before giving Asami a quick kiss and being led to one of the visitation rooms.

She froze at the door, seeing Zaheer sitting with his hands chained to the table through the window. Waiting. Korra took a deep breath before nodding to the guard to open the door.

“Well, what’s the occasion that I get a visit with you, Chief Korra?”

“A personal matter. A very personal matter,” Korra spat at him.

“Then, please, have a seat. It’s not like I can do anything to hurt you now,” he said, looking down at his chained hands.

“I think I’ll stay standing, thank you. I just want to know why”.

“You see, it was originally to prevent a blood successor to your father’s position. It eventually became a way to get to him. We were told taking you dead or alive would get a rise out of him and then your uncle would.. neutralize him. The South would then have no choice but to submit to your uncle”.

“So that’s why my dad always sent a guard with me when I was young? And why he was so sure I’d be safe in the city?!” Korra crossed the room and slammed her hands on the table. “How did you find me?!”

“We had our ways. Don’t think we didn’t have our own spies following your movements. And before you ask, we didn’t directly go after your father because we knew you’d show up. It would have been so much easier to break his heart with the loss of you and take him when he wasn’t at his best”.

“So you were scared of me?”

“So many questions. But no. We just knew we didn’t have much of a chance if we took him on when he could think clearly and then adding you into it.. it would have been an instant loss for us. You were the easy target. Unsuspecting”.

Korra worked her jaw for a moment. She needed to get him away from her family as soon as she could. With both him and her uncle in the same prison, they weren’t safe. It all started to make sense. It was the reason why the guards were pushing to get Zaheer as far away as possible. 

“You’re not staying here”.

“Oh? And where would I go?”

“I’m still working on that. You just can’t stay here”.

“I see you’ve figured it out. Good job”.

“So it was you and my fucking uncle! That’s why the Empire came after us! You two managed to piss them off so you didn’t have to be sent to the island”.

Zaheer gave the same smirk he had several years ago. “And you thought this was all over. Oh, Korra, we’re just getting started. Keep Miss Sato close”.

Korra’s heart started racing as soon as that smirk came to his face. “Wh-what?”

“Either that or hope to have me moved soon. We get to her, then you, then your father”.

“You.. leave her out of this! I swear to the spirits, you hurt her and I’ll have you skinned alive!”

“Such a brave face, Korra. I can see how scared you are. It’ll be too easy”.

“Y-you’re wrong. The South is independent of the North. Your.. goons are dead”.

Zaheer stood suddenly, his chair falling to the floor. “You killed the one I love! It’s your turn to feel that kind of pain! Even behind bars, I’ll get to you. I’ll hit you where it hurts”. 

Korra stumbled back at his abrupt movement, panic rising to her throat. All she could remember after that point was his dark laugh as she knocked on the door to be let out, rushing down the hall, and grabbing Asami’s hand to nearly drag her outside. 

“Kor? Hey, sweetheart, breathe for me”.

Asami helped Korra sit on some nearby stairs. As she managed to get her to sit, her hands were grabbed in an almost bruising grip. 

“I-I can’t breathe. ‘Sami..” Korra gasped out. 

Asami quickly freed one of her hands, placing Korra’s now free hand on her arm so she could hold onto something. 

“Okay, sweetheart. You’re okay,” she said quietly, making quick work of the buttons of her coat and pulling Korra’s head to her chest gently just as the first broken sob left her lips. “Shhh. Just listen. Match my breathing, Korra. You’re going to be okay”.

Korra went from gripping Asami’s hand and arm to clinging to her coat. She listened desperately for the calming heartbeat that belonged to the woman kneeling in front of her. Her throat burned from the sobs leaving her. Her chest felt like it was caving in from lack of air as all she could manage was short, quick gasps. Korra gave up trying to find Asami’s heartbeat over her own pounding in her ears and forced herself to find the rise and fall of her girlfriend’s chest instead. 

The few minutes Korra was shaking, crying, and forcing air into her lungs felt like hours. As she finally calmed down enough that Asami felt the death grip on her coat loosen and the cries die down to sniffles, she continued to run her fingers through Korra’s hair as she panted quietly.

“You’re okay, love. I’m right here. Do you want to talk about it?”

Korra nodded weakly with a sniffle. “M-my dad. Beifong. I need a.. um..” Korra swallowed hard, trying to find the words in her clouded mind, “.. the thing where you talk to more than one person.. fuck”.

“Conference call?” Asami supplied calmly.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “That. Can you, um, take us to the civic center? If not it’s cool, I’ll drive-“

“You’re in no condition to drive, love. And did you forget who designed those snowmobiles? I’m sure I can drive it”.

“Right”. Korra stood on still shaky legs, finally noticing Asami’s coat was unbuttoned. “Aren’t you cold?”

“You wouldn’t have been able to hear my heartbeat through it. Or my breathing”. She buttoned her coat back up before she actually got too cold, not missing the tint of pink in Korra’s cheeks. “Let’s get going”.

______________

“Korra? Asami? What’s-“

“Dad, you need to call Chief Beifong. Now. We need Zaheer out of here as soon as we can possibly manage. We don’t have time to wait for Asami’s plans”. Korra squeezed Asami’s hand gently before adding, “no offense, babe”.

“What’s going on?!”

“Long story short, Zaheer and your wonderful brother have been working together to get to us, mainly you, so that way the South has no choice but to submit to the North. Now they’re planning on going down the line, threatening Asami to get to me to get to you,” Korra took a deep breath before continuing, “the two somehow managed to get the Empire pissed with us so we couldn’t send either one of them to the island prison. Now we need Lin’s help to get Zaheer out there regardless of how the Empire feels about us”. Korra was nearly panting by time she was finished explaining everything.

“Right. Did you forget about Eska and Desna?”

“Kinda. I’ll talk to them later. Right now, Beifong”.

Tonraq looked to Asami who held her hands up in front of herself. She was just as lost as he was with all of this.

“Okay, I’ll give her a call. You.. go call your cousins”.

“Dad?”

“Yes, Korra?”

“Thank you. And.. can I get Asami one of our guards?”

“Sweetheart, I’ll be-“ Asami attempted to get in.

“I’m not taking any chances”.

Tonraq chuckled softly, “I don’t know why you’re asking for permission. You have the same power I do”.

“Right! Thanks, dad!” 

Both Asami and Tonraq watched as Korra hurried out of the room and head to her own office. 

“Is she okay?”

“Honestly, Tonraq, I have no idea. But seriously? She wants to assign a guard to me?”

Tonraq gave a shrug, picking up the phone to call Lin. “She just wants you safe. And knowing her.. it probably won’t be just one”.

“Right,” Asami sighed softly. “She sure is something.. which reminds me, don’t call Lin yet”.

“I’d like to get this resolved sooner rather than later”.

“Just..” Asami glanced out the doorway and down the hall before closing the door, “.. it’s about Korra. And I know this probably isn’t the best time, but I don’t really have my own parents to go to about this”.

Tonraq placed the phone back on the receiver and looked to Asami in concern. “What’s going on?”

“So this is weird with you being her father and all, but.. how soon is too soon to propose?” Asami bit her lip and turned her head in an attempt to hide her blush.

“Well,” he chuckled, “I’m going to tell you the same thing I told her years ago. If you feel it’s the right time, and if you’re absolutely sure you want to spend your life with her, then it’s not going to be too soon. However, knowing what happened between you two in the past, I can understand why you’re asking”.

“Thank you,” she said quietly before turning to open the door.

“Asami?”

“Yeah?”

“Just know one thing: she truly does love you and she would do, quite honestly, anything to prove it to you. If she’s feeling up to it later, take her out to dinner tonight. There’s a restaurant down the road and on the right from here”.

“I’ll keep that in mind”. Asami gave a warm smile before she left Tonraq’s office and headed for Korra’s.

_ Why did I even bring that up? Do I actually want that? Of course. I always have. Spirits, I’m such an idiot. But what if it’s still too soon now? She hasn’t even really joked about it, or even brought up the top- _

“Uh, ‘Sami?”

“Hm?”

“You okay, babe? You’re all zoned out and obviously didn’t hear what I said”.

“I’m alright. Just a lot on my mind”. Asami crossed the room and gave Korra a kiss on the cheek before sitting across from her. “And what were you saying?”

“That I just got off a call with my cousins. Basically even if everything Zaheer said did happen, my uncle wouldn’t be leaving prison and the South would still be independent. Even they said something about it being a good thing he’s behind bars. So, the bad news is, this has turned into a revenge plan”.

“How so?”

“Well,” Korra gave a soft grunt as she stretched for a moment. “Basically he wants to take you from me because I took the one he loved from him”.

Asami fell silent. She knew she had been threatened, but now that Zaheer’s original plan would be scratched, her life was definitely at risk in the form of revenge.

_ Life’s too short and unpredictable. It can’t be too soon. _

“Kor-“

“I’ll have a guard go back to the city with you while I wrap up the things I need to get done before I move back. I’ll make sure you’re safe”.

“Korra, stop. For two seconds, just shut up about this. We need to talk”.

Korra felt her heart drop to her stomach. If she wasn’t already anxious about the whole Zaheer situation, she was definitely anxious now. Suddenly all other problems meant nothing. All of her thoughts turned dark at those last four words that fell from Asami’s lips.

“Y-yeah? Okay. Um.. what’s up?” She swallowed hard, forcing the tears that were quickly creeping to her eyes to stay down.

“Listen, I know you’re really anxious about all of this. And I don’t blame you. I know you’re going to do everything you can to keep me safe. I just.. I want to know how serious you actually are about this. About us”.

“I would literally go jump off the cliffs right now if you asked. I’d free Zaheer and willingly let him take my life to save yours if you wanted me to. Whatever I have to do to prove to you I want you for life, I’ll do it”.

Asami nodded, yet stayed silent. 

_ For life? Maybe she does want to get married someday.. _

“Hey, uh.. what did I do, babe? Whatever it is, please let me try to fix it. I love you, okay? Tell me what I fucked up this time and let me make it up to you. ‘Sami.. please,” Korra begged. She didn’t want to lose Asami, not again. Watching as Asami moved to speak, a tear slipped and ran down her cheek.

“Marry me,” Asami whispered quickly. 

“Wh-what?” 

“Someday, Korra, please marry me. Not today, not next month, not even next year if you don’t want to. Just.. one of these days, after all of this with Zaheer is said and done, consider it”.

All Korra could do was stare at her, dumbfounded. She had truly thought Asami was going to leave her, again. That they were nowhere near that level of trust again. Granted, it wasn’t exactly a proposal. All that was said was someday. Someday after Zaheer as taken care of and no longer a threat to either of them. Korra could do someday.

“What?” Korra asked again, quieter, breathlessly.

“Never mind. I knew it would be too soon”. Asami stood, fighting tears as she made her way to the door.

Just as she was about to open it, Korra grabbed her by the waist and spun her around. Before she could get any further words out, warm, slightly chapped lips were pressed to hers as she was backed against the door. Asami could feel her fumbling with the handle of the door before she heard the distinct sound of the lock. 

As her mind caught up to what was happening, she let out a quiet moan. Asami knew exactly where this was headed. And she knew Korra’s true answer to her question, rather statement, as lips found her neck.

“Kor, love, shouldn’t we... ah.. I mean you,” she let out a gasp as teeth nipped at the skin is the cook of her neck, “b-be working?”

“Hmmm don’t care,” Korra murmured against her neck as she undid the buttons of Asami’s coat before looking into her eyes. “Someday, Asami, I’ll make you mine. For life. And if you want to, I’ll prove my answer right here, right now”.

Asami shrugged her coat off, letting it fall to the floor. “Are you sure?”

“Am I sure? Of course. But are you? Do you trust me? I hurt you-“

Asami had enough talk, enough just watching Korra’s lips move. She silenced her with a rough kiss and pulled her body flush against her own. A small gasp left her lips as her lover picked her up and pressed her back against the door further in an attempt to get even closer. Asami needed more and tried to make it clear by wrapping her legs around Korra’s hips and tangling her fingers in her hair. 

It wasn’t long before her mouth left Asami’s to start trailing along her jaw, only stopping to leave a mark just below her ear. A low groan came from her chest as Asami guided her head to the crook of her neck and held her there. There was only one interpretation of that movement Korra could think of: ‘tell the world I’m yours’. As she bit down, she started grinding her hips into her girlfriend’s. Maybe it wasn’t the time or place for this, but neither cared. 

“Kor-“

“If you really think I’m going to fuck you against the door, where anyone who walks by can hear everything, you’re insane”. She adjusted Asami’s weight and carried her to the desk, shoving a few stacks of papers out of the way before setting her down.

Asami grabbed Korra by the collar of her shirt, pulling her close so their faces were inches apart. “Are you getting shy on me?”

“N-no! My dad is kinda just down the hall and I do not need him bothering us again”. 

“Then you’d better hurry up before he gets off the phone with Lin,” Asami said with a wink. 

Korra crashed their lips together with hunger and desire. Her fingers made quick work of Asami’s fur tunic, tossing it off to the side. A frustrated groan came from her as her fingers found yet another layer of clothing blocking her from feeling her girlfriend’s skin. Korra’s hands were fumbling. She wanted that last barrier tossed away, but also didn’t want the kiss they were locked in to end. Asami’s hands found hers, guiding them under the bottom hem, urging her to slow down so she didn’t ruin the shirt.

Korra felt her breathe out against her mouth as she ran her hands up her sides. She gently tugged on Asami’s bottom lip with her teeth as she reached around and unclasped her bra, fingers lightly running down her spine.

“Are you sure, ‘Sami?” She panted softly, breaking the kiss to get sufficient air into her lungs. 

“If you ask again, I might lose my damn mind”. 

Asami took the pause in their making out as an opportunity to help Korra along, tossing her shirt and bra to the floor. She took a glance over her girlfriend and decided she was also wearing far too many clothes. Pulling her close, she tugged the pelt from around her waist and ran her hands up Korra’s stomach just before their lips met again.

Just as Korra got Asami’s pants off and tossed somewhere in her office, as well as laying her back onto the desk, her phone rang. She had half a mind to throw it off the desk so that any business matters could be put on hold. Instead of going off of impulse, she decided to ignore the call as she trailed kisses and soft bites between Asami’s breasts. 

Korra lightly rolled her girlfriend’s nipples between her fingers, earning barely contained moans and whimpers. She had returned her mouth to Asami’s neck when the phone rang. Again. 

“Ignore it,” Asami breathed out, holding the back of Korra’s head to keep her mouth at her pulse point. 

Letting out a soft grunt of approval, Korra trailed a hand up the inside of Asami’s thigh. She raised her lover’s hips with her other hand to assist Asami tugging her panties off, gladly tossing them to the side. Just as she slid two fingers into Asami, the phone on her desk started ringing for a third time. 

She leaned over Asami on the desk and grabbed the phone, never stopping her fingers thrusting in and out of her girlfriend. “Can I help you?”

Pause.

“Lin is aware I’m in the South, right? I can’t exactly-“

Pause. Korra gave a smirk at Asami’s muffled moan.

“I understand that she wants to meet with me. I told my dad to start the ball rolling..” she gave Asami a quiet kiss as she hooked her fingers sharply, “.. with getting Zaheer out of here. Have-“

Pause. Korra picked up the pace with her fingers, placing randomly timed hooks to Asami’s sweet spot. She couldn’t help but quietly chuckle at the way her girlfriend had her hand clamped over her mouth to try to silence the sounds of pleasure coming from herself.

“You know what? We’ll have a full conference call. Lin, my father, our elders..” Korra looked down at Asami under her with a smile, quickening her fingers slightly as she leaned close to her ear, “... Miss Sato, and myself”.

She felt Asami shudder underneath her when she spoke her name, barely able to suppress the moan that tried to come out. Korra began to rub at Asami’s clit with her thumb, still pumping her fingers at a steady, yet quick pace. She felt nails of one hand dig into her back as Asami started to roll her hips to the pace Korra had set.

“Really? No conference call?”

Pause.

“Yeah, she can call my personal number”.

She could feel Asami’s walls start to flutter as she started tumbling quickly towards her orgasm. Part of her wanted the phone call to be over before her girlfriend crashed over the edge, the other part wanted to still be on the phone when it happened. 

“Sounds good. Thanks. Tell Lin I’ll talk to her soon”.

Korra put the phone back on the receiver with a smirk. She pulled Asami’s head to her shoulder and she rubbed at her sweet spot and quickened the circles she was working around her clit. “I’m off the phone now, love. You can let go”.

Almost on cue, Asami bit down on Korra’s shoulder to silence herself as the first wave of pleasure washed over her. She finally let up on the bite as the aftershocks made her legs twitch.

“Y-you really do know how to multitask now. Spirits, Korra, what the hell?” She panted, satisfied.

“Impressed, Miss Sato?” Korra hummed in response, slowly withdrawing her fingers.

“A little, yeah”. Asami sat up slowly. “Be honest, how many times have you done that?”

“Not counting the times we’ve had sex in your office, this would be my first,” Korra said with a smile. She knew Asami believed her with the smile that was returned. 

“No one else got to have office sex with you?”

“Nope. Just you. Your office, and now mine”.

“So.. someday?”

“Someday after this Zaheer bullshit, yes, Asami. I’ll marry you someday. And if you were trying to propose-“

“Not yet. I promise you’ll know without a doubt when I do. I just.. I needed to know you were in this for the long haul”.

Korra kissed the tip of her nose, teasingly wiping her hand and fingers on Asami’s thigh. “I’d like to hope that means forever”.

“What?”

“Huh?”

“Kor-“

They both turned their attention to the knock at door. Korra bit her lip as she made her way across the room.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me, Korra. Are you okay? You never lock your door”.

“I’m fine, dad. I just needed a few minutes to breathe”. She looked to Asami, quietly telling her she should probably get dressed. 

“Korra”.

“It’s just the whole Zaheer thing. I’m a bit stressed out about it and needed to be.. not bothered for a few”.

Asami quickly finished getting her clothes back on, looking to Korra for a way out of their current situation. 

“Can I come in?”

“Dad, is anyone with you?”

“No? It’s just me. Why?”

Korra unlocked and cracked the door. “Not a word, dad. I’m being so serious right now”.

“What’s going on, kiddo?” Tonraq pushed the door open further as Korra stepped away from it. As he saw a rather flushed Asami and some papers scatted on the floor, he quickly closed the door behind and broke into a small fit of laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Korra asked, mildly embarrassed.

“You’re most definitely my child”.

“I’m never going to live this down, am I?”

Tonraq placed his hand on Korra’s shoulder. “Not even in your dreams, kid. And Asami? Don’t think you’re safe from it either”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’m still holding off on posting the playlist I’m making just in case more songs come to mind. I’ll be more than happy to give away a few more songs that are currently there though 😁


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a bit longer than expected, but I still managed to get it done before the weekend! 
> 
> I wish I had more to say, but my brain isn’t doing words well at the moment. Which is kinda why this took a bit longer to finish up. I had this mental image of what I wanted but the words just weren’t coming to me as quick.

Red. It wasn’t her favorite color, but Korra liked red. Mostly because of Asami. However, as she sat cross legged on her balcony to get some fresh air and enjoy some afternoon sun, it’s all she could see. It pooled around her legs, her coat was covered, it dripped from her hands. Every injury she had ever had, self inflicted or not, was bleeding. She was covered in the blood of every warrior she patched up. Gunshots, yelling, screams, and bottles breaking were the only sounds she was aware of. Right now, red was terrifying and full of pain. 

Red meant she was dying. It meant she was being beaten, shot, bleeding out by her own hand. It meant someone was hurt or even dying in her arms. 

Korra wasn’t aware of her own gasping or how her stare was distant, locked on her shaking hands. Tears were dripping from her chin. She was frozen, stuck in her own personal hell.

“Korra?”

In her ears, the voice of her girlfriend was barely audible.

_ Asami? _

“Sweetheart, I’m right here. You’re okay”.

_ Help me. There’s so much blood. _

“Come back to me, love”.

Asami’s voice was much clearer now, it almost seemed as if she was right in front of Korra. As she forced her stare away from her hands, she saw green. She knew that green, it was easily her favorite shade of the color. Maybe Asami was crouched right in front of her after all. 

Korra felt hands on her face, holding her head still so their gazes remained locked. The hands were gentle yet strong, fingers barely calloused. She knew those hands.

“Asami?” She managed to gasp out. Her voice was pained and weak. 

“Yes, love, it’s me. You’re safe, Kor,” Asami whispered. “Talk to me”.

“There’s.. there’s so much blood..” Korra’s breathing quickened, nearly hyperventilating.

“Shhh, sweetheart. Listen to me, you’re outside on your balcony, at home in the South. You’re safe and I’m right here,” Asami spoke softly while carefully wiping the tears off of tan cheeks with her thumbs. 

Korra’s shoulders began to shake with each gasp as she dug her fingers into her own thighs. All she could manage between pained breaths was, “it won’t stop”.

“I’m right here”. Asami knew she was saying it a lot, but she felt like continuing to remind her. 

She hated not being able to pull Korra from the PTSD attacks. No matter how soothing she tried to be, sometimes nothing would help and she just had to hold her and wait for her to come back to reality. Asami hoped this would pass soon as she clung to Korra being coherent with her. There was no way for her to know what she was seeing and hearing. Not until she calmed down enough to be able to actually talk about it. That is, if she wanted to. 

“‘Sami.. help me..” it was barely a murmur as Korra squeezed her eyes closed, clearly trying to get whatever she was the only one seeing to go away.

“Talk me through what’s happening, Kor. If you can. What do you need from me?” Asami let her hands leave Korra’s face to sit behind her and wrap her arms around her shoulders.

“I don’t know. There’s just.. so much blood..” she voice was still distant, lost. “Most of it’s mine. I think. I’m.. I’m gonna die, ‘S-Sami..”

“Oh, Korra.. sweetheart, no,” Asami whispered next to her ear while choking back her own tears. “I’m right here and I won’t let that happen. I’ll keep you safe”.

She wrapped her arms tighter around Korra’s shoulders as her body shook from fear and the harsh, painful sobs leaving her. Korra’s fingers had left her thighs and were now digging into the stone of the balcony. Asami knew it was going to be a waiting game at this point. All she could do is hold her girlfriend close, occasionally remind her that she was still right there, and give the back of her head soft kisses.

The few minutes that had passed felt like agonizingly long hours. Korra had mostly gotten her breathing under control, even if it wasn’t entirely steady yet. She was finally able to bring a hand up to touch the pale one holding her upper arm. Finally able to realize she was still outside in the afternoon sun of the South Pole.

“Hey, ‘Sami?” Korra managed to speak with a sniffle.

“Hmm?”

“Can we, um.. go back in? I want to lay down for a little while”. Her voice was still quiet, slightly hoarse.

“Absolutely. Whatever you need, love”. Asami released her hold on Korra and stood before helping her to her feet. “Do you want to talk about it? Or... anything?”

Korra took Asami’s hands in her own, still trembling slightly. “Not right now, okay? Just.. I need to take one of my pills and lay down. And.. um.. thanks. For not leaving me alone”.

“You don’t need to thank me, Kor. I’m here for you, for anything you need”. She gave Korra’s forehead a kiss before letting her take the lead back inside.

Asami watched as Korra took her pill and curled up on the bed, pulling the blanket tight around herself. She couldn’t help but wonder if there was something that triggered her, even if she knew that sometimes there wasn’t one. There was a nagging feeling that this day would likely be rough for her girlfriend as she heaved a deep sigh.

________________

Somehow, Asami found herself in a fur and leather shop. She figured she’d let Korra rest and also spend some alone time with Tonraq and Senna whenever she woke up. She was also still trying to have some sort of vacation, even if life kept throwing her random curveballs. Like this new Zaheer situation. A shiver ran through her body at the thought of him managing to break free, coming for her, and Korra ending up getting killed trying to protect her. The way she had found Korra earlier, plus the things she had said, really didn’t ease her mind. 

Before Asami realized what she was doing, she was looking over several strips of leather that were familiar to one she used to have. Some strips had tribal designs embossed, others were blank. Most were dyed with various shades of blue with a few that were naturally colored leather.

_ All I’d need is the leather. I have plenty of metals back home.. does the pendant actually have to be a special kind of stone? But what if she doesn’t even want a necklace. Why wouldn’t she want one? It’s a big part of their traditions. _

“Navy blue, Miss Sato”.

Asami spun on her heel at the voice from behind her. “Excuse me?”

“I presume you’re looking for Chief Korra. She’d look best with the navy,” The shopkeeper spoke softly.

“I.. yeah,” Asami chuckled nervously. “She does look good in navy”.

“I can get some clasps up to the register for you while you pick which piece of leather you’d like”.

“Oh, no. That won’t be necessary. I have plenty of metal back home. I can make the rest, just need the leather”. She bit her lip, a faint pink tinting her cheeks. “D-do I have to propose with it?”

The shopkeeper touched her arm gently. “That may be our tradition, but I know you have your own back in the city. It may be difficult to navigate between the two, but you can do whatever feels right. Provided she says yes to you if you propose how you normally would, it could be used in place of what you would traditionally use as a wedding ring”.

_ At least she knows of the differences. _

All Asami could manage was a small smile and a nod before turning back to the leather strips and picking one. She doubted that Korra would decline her proposal, whenever that may happen. After talking with the shopkeeper, she made her decision of proposing someday with a ring and using the necklace for the wedding. 

_ A perfect blend of our traditions. _

______________

Korra came down the stairs with a yawn. She didn’t fully expect Asami to take a nap with her in the middle of the day, but she had still insisted that she take a day away from chief business after the whirlwind of the past few. 

“Glad to see you awake again. Are you feeling better?” Tonraq’s voice came from the living room.

“Mostly, yeah,” she said, stretching her shoulders. Most of her muscles were sore from how tense she had been during her episode. “Where’d Asami go? I figured she would have been down here with guys”.

“She wanted to go into town, explore the sites and such,” Senna patted the spot next to herself on the couch, inviting her daughter to join.

As Korra sat next to her mother, Tonraq noticed the look of protest coming to her face and quickly put a halt to her thoughts, “she’s perfectly safe, Korra. She took a guard with her”.

“Right,” she sighed, running a hand through her hair.

Korra didn’t want Asami to go back home in a few days. There was no way she could protect her from nearly a day’s flight away. There was no way to know what Zaheer already had set up there, waiting for Asami’s arrival. The words of him kept ringing in Korra’s mind: Keep Miss Sato close.

“You never mentioned how your phone call with Lin went”.

“Long story short, she’s going to send some of her force down as soon as we give her a date for the move, including herself and her own transport”. She rubbed at her temples. “She’s currently trying to get the Empire to accept him to the island prison as a favor for her, not us. I guess discussions are going.. okay right now”.

Senna could nearly sense the distress her daughter was quickly spiraling to and placed her hand on her back. “Are you okay, sweetie?”

“Not really, mom. I’m.. scared,” she whispered, starting to rub her hands together as anxiety crept in.

Senna looked to Tonraq, concern etched in her face. Korra rarely admitted to being scared. 

“I can give Lin a call later this evening. If you’d like”.

“C-could you, please? I can’t..” her voice caught slightly, “.. talk about him right now”.

“Of course,” Tonraq answered as Senna began rubbing Korra’s back gently. His own face held concern as he saw his daughter lean forward and put her head in her hands.

Both he and his wife were in agreement that this day had been and would likely continue to be a bad day for their daughter. He just wished he could get into her head and destroy the demons that always seemed plague his only child. 

Just as Korra was about to voice what was on her mind, her phone rang. 

“Hi, Lin”.

Pause.

“Y-you’re serious?! I mean, I never doubted you, but it’s only been a few days since we spoke”.

As Korra listened to Lin speaking, her leg began to bounce. It didn’t go unnoticed as Senna placed her hand on Korra’s knee.

“The sooner, the better. I’d like to start the transfer as soon as you and your cops get down here”.

Pause.

“Okay. I’ll let the prison know to get him ready. We’ll see you in two days”.

Korra stared at her phone screen after Lin had ended the call. A heavy silence filled the room. Both Senna and Tonraq knew they didn’t have to ask.

“So,” Korra started, “looks like I have work to do tomorrow”.

“You know you don’t have to do this alone. Your father.. he can do this with you,” Senna tried to sooth.

Korra was silent for a few breaths. She knew her father would be a huge assistance in all of this, and she definitely needed it. As she found her voice again, she meant to ask for his help, for his counsel.

Instead she blurted, “I’m gonna marry her”.

A new silence came over the room as Tonraq and Senna glanced between each other. While they were both definitely happy for their daughter, they were both mildly confused with her sudden declaration.

“That’s.. great, sweetie. And we’re both so pleased, but-“

“It would be after this Zaheer situation is handled. But.. I’m gonna do it.” She looked to her mom. “It’s.. not too soon, right?”

“I’ll tell you what I’ve told you before, if you feel it’s the right time, then it’s not too soon, Korra,” Tonraq answered. “She makes you smile and gives you the light back in your eyes. You light up when you so much as see her. And you both take care of each other. And-“ 

“And you two are perfect for each other,” Senna finished for him. 

Korra gave a small smile. Her parents supported her decision and for the moment, that’s all she needed. Moving Zaheer still weighed heavy, but she decided that she would go out to the cave in the morning.

_____________

After a mostly quiet dinner from no one really knowing what to talk about and everyone retiring to their rooms, Korra sat on the edge of the bed. She was stuck between staying there, waiting for Asami to finish her shower, and running off into the night to clear her head. She was certain Zaheer would be taken care of in a few short days, she wouldn’t have to worry anymore. He’d be taken far away a couple days before Asami returned to the city. Without her. 

That single thing kept spiking her anxiety. She had so many ‘what if’ questions running through her mind. And with that came panic. With the panic, she would usually spiral into an episode. She knew the images and sounds weren’t real, it was just her mind. But sometimes that knowledge wasn’t enough.

She could already feel her chest starting to tighten. Every blink, she saw blood. The gunshots only she could hear slowly grew louder. She fought her breathing to stay steady in a hope that would keep her heartbeat from accelerating out of control. She fought the impending attack as best as she could, desperate to not have to have Asami see her like this. Again. 

_ Run. _

Korra took a deep breath.

_ I’m going to stay. Asami is here. _

She gripped onto the edge of the bed.

_ Run. _

“No,” she spoke to herself in an attempt to take a stand against her own mind.

_ Run. Get out. _

“No. No. I’m safe”.

_ He’s going to get her. Then you. Leave while you have the chance. Run. _

Korra dug the heels of her hands into her forehead. “Stop. Please.. stop”.

“Sweetheart?”

_ Run. _

“No!” She didn’t mean to forcefully shove Asami back just as she had touched her shoulders. But she did. 

Thankfully Asami didn’t actually fall, just stumbled back a few steps. She watched as Korra stood, shoulders heaving with her breaths. Out of nowhere, she grabbed her by the belt of her robe and fumbled with the knot. 

“Take this off. Please, Asami. Fuck.. just.. I can’t..”

“Korra, love, what’s going on?” Asami tried to still the shaking and fumbling hands at her waist. 

Korra swatted her hands away from her own. “I can’t handle red right now. Please. Take it off. I’ll get you one of mine or something. Just.. go”.

Asami was shoved away for the second time in a few short moments. “Okay. I’ll go change. Sweetheart, please, sit down. I’ll be right back”.

Korra watched as her girlfriend went back into the bathroom, hoping she was going to come back wearing her robe instead of her own. 

_ She won’t come back. _

“Fucking stop,” she growled to herself as she began pacing the room. 

_ Keep Miss Sato close. _

“Go away. Please, go away”. Korra stopped pacing and rested her head on the wall. 

Asami had come back from the bathroom in Korra’s robe. She could see that her girlfriend was still at a war with herself as she stood by the wall, head against it. After approaching her slowly and calmly, she rested her hands on Korra’s shoulders. 

“Talk to me, love”.

“I can’t be here. You.. you can’t be here. N-none of this is real! I’m dying.. I’m dying and I can’t protect you”. Korra was starting to fight to get air into her lungs as she clutched at her chest. “You’re hurt. Because of me. I ran away and now you’re all alone and in danger because of me”.

_ You’re alone. _

Asami barely caught Korra as she sunk to her knees. She knew her girlfriend wasn’t completely in the present, wasn’t aware of the true reality. 

“Kor, I’m right here”.

“No you’re not! You’re not real! Leave me alone,” Korra cried, covering her ears and clamping her eyes closed. 

Asami gave the top of Korra’s head a kiss, standing, and going to the nightstand. She really hoped she would cooperate for just a moment so she wouldn’t choke. After getting one of Korra’s pills and glass of water from the nightstand, she sat behind her.

“Lay back against me, love,” she said softly.

Korra managed to get at least most of the message and leaned back ever so slightly. There was a familiar warmth behind her and she forced her mind to focus on it.

“I’m sorry, Kor. Please cooperate with me for a moment,” Asami whispered next to her ear. 

She brought the hand with the pill to Korra’s mouth, gently slipping it into her mouth between a gasp. She braced herself for the worst part of what she had to do. Her girlfriend was already in a panic, but she needed to make sure she wouldn’t choke. Asami gently placed her hand under Korra’s chin and tilted her head back as she brought the glass to her lips. 

“Just take a drink, sweetheart”. She could see the pure fear in the blue eyes of the woman she was holding, the woman she loved. “I’m not going to hurt you”. 

She rubbed Korra’s throat gently with her thumb as she took a few drinks between shuddering breaths. After setting the glass off to the side, she pulled Korra in between her legs and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. The pained sobs and gasps never failed to break her heart, but this time was so different. Korra had thought her presence was all in her head, that she was alone after running from the city. That she was almost reliving the breakup. That she thought she was bleeding out from any point she was hurt.

“I’m right here, Korra. I’m not going anywhere,” Asami sniffled from behind her, failing to stop her own tears. “I love you. So much”.

Slowly, Korra’s cries died to occasional, sniffles. She had begun to relax into Asami’s embrace as she caught her breath again as the medicine started to take effect. The aftermath of these episodes always left her exhausted, even if medication wasn’t involved. She hated the after. She always felt weak, thinking that she should have been able to easily fight it off. And she mostly hated when anyone saw her like that, especially Asami. Korra felt it was completely unfair to her, like she was just a burden.

“I’m sorry,” she was able to finally choke out.

“For what, Kor?” Asami placed a kiss to the back of her head.

“For having to see me like this twice in one day. Its.. it’s not fair to you”.

“Listen,” she started, running her hands down Korra’s arms, “it’s not something you can control. Mental health can be.. random. You said it yourself, the medicine won’t ever cure you. And I would witness all of this and help you through it as long as it means I get to have you... forever”.

“Forever, huh? That’s a long time..” Korra whispered, grabbing Asami’s hand.

“But still not long enough”. It was supposed to stay in her mind. It was supposed to stay a thought. She stopped breathing for a moment when she realized what she had let slip.

“Yeah?”

“I-I’m sorry. Was that too much? It was supposed to stay in my head and-“

“Babe, it’s not too much. I kinda like it when your big brain forgets to filter what you actually want to say and what you don’t”. Korra let out a yawn. “Can we..?”

“Yeah. We can get to bed, love”.

Korra stood and offered her hand to Asami. Once her hand was taken, she helped her girlfriend to her feet and led them to bed. Regardless of how bad her day was mentally, she still wanted to comfort Asami. So she insisted on being the big spoon for the night, at least until they shifted in their sleep and she somehow managed to become the little spoon. Which is usually how it worked when either of them had a rough day. 

____________

Korra’s alarm went off and she all but threw her phone across the room, both from being startled awake and to not wake Asami. No matter how bad the previous day was, she still wanted to get out to the cave before sunrise. And that meant being awake well before her girlfriend, which isn’t exactly something she enjoyed the thought of. But the stone would be worth it.

She quietly got out of bed and wrote a quick note for Asami telling her that she went out for a little while and was okay. That she needed some time to ‘consult the spirits’ as she put it. As dumb as she thought it sounded, she didn’t scratch it out. It was at least some sort of excuse for her early morning absence. After leaving the note under Asami’s phone and getting dressed as quietly as possible, she gave her girlfriend’s cheek a kiss and left her bedroom. 

“You’re up early”.

Korra jumped what felt like three feet in the air at Senna’s voice. “Mom! Spirits, you scared me”.

“Sorry, sweetie. Are you okay? It’s at least two hours until sunrise. Which means you’re awake about five hours early”.

“I’m fine,” she chuckled at her mom’s joking around, even if it wasn’t a complete joke. She was never willingly awake before the sun. “I was.. going out the cave before Asami wakes up. I’m serious about what I said yesterday”.

“Just be careful”.

“Wait.. why are you up so early?” Korra questioned, sitting next to her mom for a moment.

“Ask your father. Good luck waking him up,” Senna laughed. “I’m just glad you don’t snore like him, especially for Asami’s sake. Poor woman wouldn’t get any sleep”.

“She says I snore. Clearly not as bad as dad, though. I don’t keep her awake with it. I’m sorry he’s such a pain,” she teased.

“I married him”.

“He’s.. pretty amazing, mom. I’m glad I get to call you guys my parents. But he is a pain sometimes, I know it”.

“Like father, like daughter”.

“Hey! Not cool”.

“I love you, Korra. Now, go get your stone. And please, be careful”.

“I will,” she gave Senna’s cheek a kiss. “I love you, mom”.

______________

Korra took a deep breath and lit her torch before turning off the snowmobile. It was still well before sunrise and there was a slightly eerie feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. 

_ Maybe I should have brought a guard. _

She hadn’t seen anyone after she had gotten into the open tundra. Still on edge, she looked around while using the torch to amplify the light of the full moon. Deciding she was actually alone, she grabbed the pickax she brought and headed into the cave. 

The deeper into the cave she got, the more any small noise startled her. Something just didn’t feel right. She felt watched, stalked. Korra shook the feeling as she finally found a spot she could retrieve a new stone for Asami. As she got to chipping away at the part of the wall she had chosen, a smile slowly came to her face. She wasn’t going to mess anything up this time. This time was forever. And she meant it.

A chunk of stone fell into Korra’s hand and she crouched to admire it for a moment. Somehow it felt better than the last one. In her admiration, she didn’t hear the footsteps come behind her. The moment she found out she wasn’t alone was when she pocketed the stone and moved to stand. That’s when she felt a boot drive into her back, causing her to fall forward. 

Before she had much of a chance to react, a cloth was thrown over her head and arms wrapped around her torso, pinning her arms to her sides.

“Let go of me!” She blindly kicked and her heel contacted a shin of the person who had a hold of her.

“I suggest you come peacefully”.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“That doesn’t matter. Zaheer was right, this was too easy”.

_ Fight. Just fight. You’ve been in this kind of hold before. _

As she felt herself starting to be lifted off her feet, she kicked again causing her attacker’s knee to buckle. Feeling with her other foot, she found the wall and kicked off of it, causing them to both fall backwards. Thankfully the man broke her fall and the impact forced him to release his hold. She scrambled to her feet and threw the cloth over his face and pressed her foot to his throat.

“You better leave Asami alone. I’ll kill every single one of you if you hurt her”.

“This is all just orders, Korra,” came the muffled reply. “We’d rather die by your hands than Zaheer’s”.

“What? You don’t have to follow him and his sadistic ideas anymore. We’re transferring him far away from here. Disband the Red Lotus”.

“Can you promise us safety?”

“If you stop coming after me and my girlfriend, and tell your other leaders to disband, then yes. I’ll be sure you’re safe from him”.

Korra removed her foot and kicked the cloth off to the side before picking up the pickax and torch. She watched the man get to his feet cautiously.

“I can’t promise everyone will disband peacefully. You’re really letting me go?”

“For the moment. One slip, you go after Asami one single time, and it’s over”.

“I-it’s a deal then”.

Korra watched as he left the cave. Something was telling her this wasn’t going to be an easy last fight with the Red Lotus.

_____________

The sun was just starting to peek on the horizon when Korra finally got home. As she walked through the house, she noticed Senna had gone back to bed and no one else was awake. She smiled proudly to herself for getting the stone and making it back before Asami had woken up.

At least that’s what she thought. 

She walked by the kitchen, stopped, and backtracked at the slight flash of red she had caught out of the corner of her eye.

“Uh.. m-mornin’, babe”.

Asami spun at her girlfriend’s voice, a smile coming to her face. “Enjoy your little spiritual journey?”

Korra swallowed hard, trying to avoid looking at what Asami was wearing. “S-something like that I guess. Some Red Lotus goon ambushed me, but I took care of it. If he listens, we won’t have to worry about them anymore after we move Zaheer”.

Asami crossed the kitchen, taking Korra’s hands. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yup. I’m good. But, um, why are you wearing... that when my parents are home?” She dropped her hands from her girlfriend’s, resting them at her waist instead and rubbing the bare skin there. “I mean, I’m most definitely not complaining, but I think they’ve seen enough”.

“I wanted to surprise you. And I know how much you love this”.

“Hmmm that I do. I’m really, really happy you kept it after all this time”.

Korra finally let herself look over Asami’s body. She was wearing the ruby red thong and bra set Korra had bought for her a few years ago. A set Asami enjoyed surprising her with at random. And she wasn’t about to complain about finding her wearing it. The only issue this time is that her parents were definitely still home and most definitely didn’t need to walk in on them again. Especially in the kitchen.

“I’m surprised I kept it. I found it when we were packing to head down. Would you like some coffee or something to eat?”

“Nah. Just you”.

“Korra- hey!” Asami laughed softly as she was picked up and put over her girlfriend’s shoulder. 

“Sorry, but we’re going to my room before anything happens. I’m not about to get caught again,” she said before giving Asami’s ass a sharp smack. “This thong also makes your ass look amazing. Just so you know”.

Asami let out a quiet moan as another smack landed. “So you don’t hate red anymore?”

“Nope. I quite like it”. Korra adjusted Asami on her shoulder and made her way to her room. It was going to be a great morning for sure.

Maybe red wasn’t so terrible and painful after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few more songs from the playlist for your listening pleasure:
> 
> Safe and Sound- Taylor Swift  
> Proof- Paramore  
> Be Kind- Marshmallow, Halsey  
> Control- Halsey  
> OK Not To Be Ok- Marshmallow, Demi Lavato  
> ¿- Bring Me The Horizon, Halsey


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing in Korra’s life is simple, is it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short-ish chapter, but hopefully worth it. I’m really sorry if some of these chapters are boring af. This one kinda sets us up for some really, really good things.

“Aren’t you going to come to bed?”

Korra let out a sigh, staring out the window with her arms folded. She knew she should try to get at least a little sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long and stressful day. No matter how many times Lin or Tonraq reassured her that the move should go according to plan, she was still scared. She had personally requested, rather demanded, armed guards be stationed from the prison to the transport aircraft Lin had brought. Part of that request was to have long range marksmen at the ready. Just in case. 

“How am I supposed to sleep, babe? I’m all worked up about tomorrow. He knows he’s getting transferred. Spirits know what he already has planned..”

“You know you don’t have to actually be present for this, love”.

“No, I do. I can’t just keep avoiding him. Plus I have a job to keep everyone involved safe. I just want this to all be over”.

Asami frowned at the way Korra hugged herself. Even by the light of the moon and only being able to see her back, she could see just how tense she was. From the silence that had fallen between them, Asami knew her girlfriend was lost in thought. It didn’t seem entirely negative, but she also couldn’t see her face. 

“Asami?”

Getting out of bed, she went to stand next to Korra. Whenever there wasn’t a nickname, it worried her. It gave a sense of urgency and seriousness. “What’s on your mind?”

“If.. if anything goes bad tomorrow, I want you to know just how much I love you. And how sorry I am for what happened a few years ago. I know words probably don’t mean much.. but I know I fucked up big time. So I’m sorry I hurt you the way I did, for running away. I really wasn’t expecting you to want to get back with me at all”. Korra knew she was just rambling at this point, but she didn’t want to leave anything unsaid. 

“Korra-“

“And when you said you want me to marry you someday, I only responded the way I did at first just because I.. I didn’t know you trusted me like that again. I never wanted to push you into it, just in case it was going to be too much, so I kept my mouth shut. I never voiced how I also want you to marry me someday. But, Asami-“

“I’m stopping you right there,” Asami stated with tears in her eyes, stepping in front of her girlfriend as she put a hand over Korra’s mouth. “I love you, but shut up. You’re not finishing what I think you’re about to say. Not tonight. Not until Zaheer is dealt with”.

Holding the hand on her mouth still, Korra kissed the open palm softly. Maybe Asami didn’t want to hear everything tonight, but Korra could see in her eyes that she understood what was going through her mind. Someday. That’s all Asami had asked for. And it was to be someday after this Zaheer situation. 

_ But what if I don’t get that chance after tomorrow? What if... someday doesn’t get to happen? _

Closing her eyes, Korra pushed the anxiety down. She wasn’t going to let her mind win. Not tonight. 

The past couple days have been nothing but prepping for moving Zaheer. She was tired, but her mind was racing. Her mind kept wandering to the few arguments she had gotten into with Lin over the phone, each time ending with Tonraq taking over as she stormed out of her office. She hated to admit to it, but she was truly scared, terrified even. And it usually manifested in the form of anger. 

With a sigh, she pulled Asami into a hug. “Okay. We can go to bed. I’m just... I’m scared”. 

“I know, love. I wish there was something I could do to ease your mind”. She gave Korra’s forehead a kiss. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared myself”.

“Something just doesn’t feel right, babe,” she whispered and nuzzled Asami’s neck. 

“We’ll be okay. Your dad will be there and so will I. Not to mention the guards you’ll have stationed. It’s a short walk for him, a path lined with Lin’s force and your own”.

Korra nodded slightly. As much as she wanted to continue the conversation, voice her fears, her voice failed her. She was still forcing the anxiety away. She wanted to sleep. Something didn’t feel right in the pit of her stomach. As Asami led them to the bed and they both laid down, she couldn’t help but wonder how wrong this could all go.

_______________

As usual, Asami was the first to wake. Really, she had been for a couple hours now. Her own mind was racing, continuously going over the plan for the day. As an engineer, she looked for flaws in any plan. This wasn’t much different than a blueprint she could draw up. In fact, she did in her mind. Where the transport aircraft would be located in relation to the prison. The lined path Zaheer would take. Where the marksmen would be located and at the ready. But she still felt something was missing. 

She furrowed her brow in thought as she felt Korra’s ribs rise and fall with each breath under her hand. Her girlfriend was right the night before, something just didn’t feel right. There was something big missing from her mental blueprint and for some reason she couldn’t quite figure it out. Lin and Korra would be waiting by the aircraft. Tonraq would be part of the escort. Lin’s force and the tribe’s guards would be armed and lining the path. Marksmen would be strategically placed, just in case something did go wrong. 

_ What’s missing? Something has got to be missing. What are we not accounting for? _

“Hey, you”.

Korra’s soft yet still sleep heavy voice pulled her from her mind. She had been so caught up with trying to figure out why something felt wrong, she never noticed Korra crack her eyes open. 

“Good morning, sweetheart. Sleep well?”

“Regardless of how I slept, it’s always a good morning when I wake up next to you”.

Asami rolled her eyes jokingly as she pulled Korra closer. Her girlfriend had one of two moods in the mornings: sleepy and adorable or flat out grumpy. At least the former was the case this time, even with a rough day ahead.

“What? I can’t enjoy waking up next to you even if I slept like shit? How rude,” Korra teased, snuggling herself into her girlfriend’s warmth. 

“I never said that. But why didn’t you wake me?”

“You were sleeping”.

“Well, duh. Doesn’t answer my question”. She ran a hand down Korra’s back, stopping at her waist, and tugging her impossibly closer. She’d have been lying if she said she wasn’t scared about the rest of the day.

“I never completely woke up so why would I wake you?” Came the reply slightly muffled under her chin. “I was just tossing and turning all night so I’m kinda surprised I didn’t wake you up. I guess we should head down for some breakfast, huh?”

Asami tightened her hold on her girlfriend. “Not yet”.

She didn’t want to let go. An ache in stomach kept nagging that the day was going to be more dangerous than they had originally thought. That something terrible was in the works. Something she couldn’t figure out even after hours of thinking. 

Asami ran her fingers through Korra’s hair, letting herself take in the smell of her girlfriend. Part of her regretted not letting her finish what she had been trying to say last night. She knew her own answer. She would have gladly told Korra yes. The other part of her didn’t want to hear it, not with both of their lives at some sort of risk. Just in case. 

Her own anxiety was starting to rise. She didn’t want to lose Korra again. Especially forever. Asami had already lost what felt like everything. Her mother was murdered when she was little, her father put in prison. She had to fight with countless sleepless nights just to save her company. It always felt like friends came and went like a revolving door through her life. The only constant was Opal. 

_ At least Korra came back. _

Now Korra was part of that constant. She was all Asami had left in terms of a real family. Sure, her parents were considered part of that family now, but they also felt like a distant family. Korra was immediate. She was there. She would live with her. The two of them would make a family, or at least the start of one.

_ Just the two of us. The start of a family. Even after all these years. _

__________

Breakfast was unusually quiet. Both Tonraq and Korra ate in near silence, rarely adding more than a few words to the talk started by Asami and Senna. Even more peculiar, the two chiefs hardly ate at all. For Korra, that was normal when she was worked up about something. For Tonraq, it was highly concerning. Asami hadn’t seen that much worry in his eyes before.

Korra had excused herself quietly before returning to her room. She wanted a few minutes alone, even if those few minutes were spent slowly getting her formal robes on. Lin was to be landing in the next couple hours. Then there would be a briefing. And finally, the move would begin. 

“Those are new”.

Korra jumped at Asami’s voice, too far in her head to have noticed her come in. “Uh.. y-yeah. The elders made me new ones after I left the others back in the city after.. everything”.

“They’re really nice, love,” Asami complimented, fully allowing herself to look over her girlfriend. 

She had noticed the base tunic was tighter than the old one and sleeveless, not something she was going to complain about in the slightest. It was clear it was only a base layer as Korra pulled on a fur lined jacket embroidered with the tribal designs of her tribe at the cuffs. The robe itself wasn’t so much of a robe as long tailed, navy blue coat. The ensemble was finished off with a white furred pelt around her waist secured by a belt of leather. The pants of her new robes were a standard black and boots that were also black and fur lined. 

“What?” 

Korra’s mildly amused question pulled Asami from her admiration. “I- nothing. You just look really nice, Kor”. 

“Oh, come on. I spent all this time getting dressed and you’re already undressing me with that look,” she teased with a pout.

“What look?!”

“The ‘you look great in that but it would look best on the floor and your body under mine’ look”.

“I am not giving you that look,” Asami huffed while folding her arms.

“You most definitely are, babe”. Korra pulled Asami close, giving her a quick kiss before heading to leave. 

“Gotta get to the office?”

“Yup. But don’t worry, ‘Sami, you’ll get to have your wish tonight”. She shot her a wink just before she walked out the door.

“You’re such a fucking tease sometimes,” Asami mumbled under her breath. 

_____________

Yelling. There was so much yelling coming from behind the door of Korra’s office. Maybe this was the something that no one really accounted for: Korra’s temper. No matter the help she had gotten for her mental health, she still had a short fuse. Unfortunately for anyone in the room, Lin was unyielding and could have just as much of a temper as Korra. 

Asami couldn’t make out exactly what was being yelled about behind the door. Tonraq had stopped trying to calmly reason with his daughter and the chief of police a few minutes ago. 

_ There was a set plan for this. Did Lin change something without letting her know? Spirits, why is she so mad? _

As the door swung open, Korra shouted back at Lin over her shoulder, “I’m going to get some air and figure out this fuck up!”

“Kor?”

“Not now, Asami!” 

_ Okay. She’s beyond pissed off. _

Asami stayed quiet and watched as Korra made her way down the hall and outside. After a few breaths, she turned and looked into the office to see Lin leaning over the desk and Tonraq resting against the wall. The few guards and officers in the room simply looked stunned by the yelling match. 

“Can I help you guys at all?” she asked, walking into the office. 

“Tell your girlfriend to calm the hell down. We’re going to figure this minor hiccup out but we can’t just scream at each other,” Lin grumbled in response.

_ Chipper as ever. _

“What’s the hiccup? I’ve.. been feeling like we all overlooked something”.

“Spectators. We weren’t accounting for the spectators that are going to want to witness this. Korra’s worried that gives any Red Lotus members the chance to squeeze through the cracks and potentially harm innocent lives,” Tonraq explained calmly. “Lin tried to assure her that with all the other precautions, it would be unlikely they would cause a large disturbance”.

_ Shit. Of course we forgot about that. _

“Can you move the helicopter any closer to the prison? It would make the walk shorter”.

“Wouldn’t be able to take off if we get any closer. You should know that, Sato”.

Asami shot Lin a mild glare. “I’m just tossing ideas out”.

“Give me a better one”. 

“Set a perimeter then”.

“With what manpower? And even if we did, it’s too late for it to be a proper one”.

Asami let out a deep sigh and looked to Tonraq. “I’m sure some warriors wouldn’t mind”.

“You tell Korra that. That’s what started the yelling. She.. doesn’t want to put more lives at risk”.

“You keep watch, dad”.

All eyes turned to Korra in the doorway. Asami knew that look she had on her face. A solution no one else was going to like. 

“But-“

“I’ll walk him. You keep watch for anything out of place”.

“Or you could keep watch and I’ll walk him”.

“Dad-“

“Or you can stop arguing. Tonraq, you keep watch. Kor, sweetheart, just wait by the helicopter. Lin, you walk him”. Being the voice of reason was something Asami had grown used to through her life. 

After a long, tense silence, Korra finally spoke, “fine. Is that fine with you, Lin?”

“It keeps you two safe, so yes. I’ll walk the bastard”. 

“Good. At least we can all agree to something. Finally. Guess we should get to the prison. I want this finished sooner rather than later”. Before anyone could get any further words in, she was already halfway down the hall. 

Korra felt Asami grab her wrist just as she was about to push the door open to go outside. She tugged against the grip slightly. She just wanted to be left alone. No one needed to see how scared she was for what was about to happen, including Asami. 

“Sweetheart, look at me”.

“Just.. leave me alone. I- I can’t.. you can’t see me like this. No one can. I’m supposed to be strong, the face of the tribe. I’d be seen as a joke-“

“Korra. You’re human. You have every single right to be afraid. Especially after everything he and his gang did to you. And,” she wrapped her arms around Korra from behind, “you’re not a joke. For what it’s worth, you’re an amazing face for the tribe. Look at all of the things you’ve overcome, all the shit you’ve been through. You.. you show resilience and strength, sweetheart”.

Resting her hands over Asami’s, she let out a quiet sniffle. She couldn’t quite remember at what point she had started crying. Or even tell if it was out of relief or fear. 

“I’m scared, ‘Sami. I’m really, really scared. I don’t know what’s going to happen. There’s so much that could go wrong. He could somehow manage to get to you and.. and.. I don’t know what I’d do if he does..” Korra’s voice trailed off as she spun in Asami’s arms, burying her face against her shoulder. 

“I’m scared too, Kor,” she whispered. No one else needed to know. 

Asami rubbed comforting circles around her back as the woman in her arms continued to sniffle occasionally. They were both scared of the possibility of something going incredibly wrong and that they would lose each other. It was that fear alone that drove Asami to her next voiced thought. Korra needed to know.

“Yes, Chief Korra”.

“Huh? Yes to what?”

“Last night. What I wouldn’t let you say. My answer is yes. Of course”.

A trace of a smile graced Korra’s lips as she pulled Asami closer. She didn’t have a necklace remotely close to being finished. The stone was still a raw chunk in the pocket of her coat back at the house. She hadn’t even gotten to go to the leather shop for the rest of it. And yet, Asami still knew exactly what she was going to ask last night. Even if it wasn’t exactly official, the promise had been made to each other. 

“Well, uh, I don’t have-“

“I don’t need the damn necklace, Korra. Not right now. Not ever if you don’t want to make one. This.. this right here is enough. Just you,” Asami whispered next to her ear, voice more watery than she had wanted as she tightened the embrace.

“I’m still gonna make you one. And actually do this the right way. I.. I don’t want it to feel like we’re only doing this out of fear for the unknown”.

“I understand”. She gently pushed Korra back, holding her shoulders. “I just wanted you to have my answer. Just in case”.

Korra gave a sad smile, wiping the tears from Asami’s face. Seeing her girlfriend cry for any reason always upset her. Even if it was tears of happiness. She knew it was mostly her mind playing tricks with the latter, something she was slowly getting better with. The tears trailing down Asami’s cheeks now were out of both happiness and fear. It was the fear that upset Korra the most.

“I’ll come home to you, babe. I promise. You just have to meet me there as well this time”.

“As if I’d let you forget about your other promise from earlier,” Asami chuckled through the tears, tugging gently on Korra’s collar.

“As long as neither of us get hurt, it’ll be the first we do when we get back. Dinner can wait”.

Korra closed the distance between them, taking Asami’s lips with her own. It wasn’t particularly deep or passionate, but it was lingering. Neither wanted to part. That would just mean the big plan would be set into motion. They reluctantly had to break the kiss as Lin cleared her throat from behind Asami.

“Are you ready? Your father’s waiting”.

“As ready as I’ll ever be”. She rested her forehead against Asami’s with a sigh. “I love you, ‘Sami”.

Asami gave Korra a quick kiss. “I love you too. Go on. Don’t keep your dad waiting longer. I’ll see you.. for dinner”.

Watching Korra leave to meet with Tonraq, Asami felt a hand on her shoulder. 

“Either this is all going to go smooth or it’ll end with Zaheer dead, kid. She’ll come back to you in one piece”.

_______________

Korra stood next to the open door of the helicopter, waiting for the doors to the prison to open. Waiting to see Zaheer in shackles. As she scanned the crowd that had gathered, her eyes met Tonraq’s. He could easily see the fear lying underneath the false projection of calm. She received a stern nod of acknowledgment, one that she knew meant she was doing the right thing.

As her eyes roamed more, she saw Senna. Korra knew her mom was going to be there, mostly as support but she also wanted to see the man that almost killed her daughter taken far away from her home. Finally, her eyes met with Asami’s and her breath caught. They shared a look of fear, of worry for one another. They both knew the other was more than capable of holding their own, but that didn’t ease the worry. It was out of love. Korra tried a smile, likely only ending up looking like she was trying to hide every other emotion. Thankfully for her mind, Asami smiled back with a small wave. 

_ We’re going to be okay. We have to be. She said yes. Spirits.. she said yes.. even if I didn’t actually get to truly ask. Yeah, we gotta be okay. _

Korra’s attention snapped to the prison doors as they opened and the crowd started cheering that Zaheer would finally be away from everyone. She had always found Lin to be a bit intimidating, but this was a whole different look for her. Swallowing hard, she made a mental note to absolutely not get on Lin’s bad side. She decided that if looks could kill, Zaheer would have been dead about a hundred times over.

Of course, as soon as he was standing in front of her, everything went to hell. He kicked back, striking Lin in the knee and causing her fall. Korra heard commotion happening all around her but never took her eyes off of him. Just as the guards drew their guns at him, he lunged forward and threw his arms over Korra’s head, pressing the chain of the cuffs to her throat.

“I suggest nobody moves!” He called out, effectively using Korra as a human shield. 

Korra’s heart was pounding. She searched the crowd, eventually finding Asami. Her breath caught as she saw some guy holding a knife to her throat. 

_ No. No! Spirits, not her.. please. Take me instead. _

“I told you I would hurt you, Korra. Now you get to watch. She’ll bleed out slowly and there’s nothing you’re going to be able to do about it. You won’t be able to save her”. He laughed darkly into her ear. “And once she’s gone, I’ll let you go”.

“Z-Zaheer.. please don’t. Take me instead. Leave her alone,” She choked out, tears streaming down her face. “Please..”

“If I have to live what the love of my life dead, so do you”. He dug the chain into her throat harder. “Now watch”.

Instead of the blade dragging across Asami’s throat, Korra watched as she skillfully and suddenly disarmed the man. She watched as her girlfriend spun and pushed him back before kicking him in the side of the head. 

_ She’s so hot. Wait. I can’t breathe. _

Korra grabbed at the chain digging into her neck. Of course Zaheer was a few moves ahead. He had stepped back just enough so she couldn’t trip him. The longest couple seconds of her life ended with gunfire erupting around her. An even louder shot rang from a distance and all she felt was deadweight against her shoulders. As she sunk down to the ground, Korra was able to get Zaheer’s arms back over her head. 

For a moment her vision went out of focus. Gunshots and blood. Visions from her episode a few days before came flooding back as her breathing caught. She tried to focus her vision, desperate to locate Asami in the crowd. 

_ Where are you? Asami, please, be okay. _

It felt like everything hit all at once. Every emotion, every thought. The last thing she remembered before her vision went dark was the cold of the snow and ice suddenly under her cheek as she fell forward.

___________

As Korra stirred slightly, she could hear voices and quiet sniffles coming from somewhere in the room. She became vaguely aware she was home, on the couch.

“She’s okay, Asami. She wasn’t severely hurt. I’m sure everything just became too overwhelming and her body decided to give in,” Tonraq’s voice was soothing, trying to ease Asami’s mind.

“I know she wasn’t exactly hurt,” came the soft, tearful reply. “I’ve just.. it’s been hours, Tonraq. She’s been out for hours. I’ve never seen her just pass out like this. She’s come around faster after a knockout in the ring, for spirit’s sake”.

“I know. Just think for a moment. She was already afraid something was going to go wrong, then she was used as a human shield and forced to watch the attempt on your life. That alone was probably too much for her, then add in the fact she was choked.. her body couldn’t keep up with her mind or the fear she was feeling”.

_ He’s right ‘Sami. Everything was too much. I almost lost you. I just want you to be okay. Stop worrying about me. _

“Have a seat, dear. I’ll bring you some warm spiced wine if you’d like,” Senna offered with heavy concern in her voice. 

“That.. that would be nice. Thank you.” 

Korra felt Asami sit next to her legs with a sniffle. She wanted to talk, say anything. Another part of her wanted to continue to feign sleep and hope she would get more information about what happened. But Asami needed her. 

“I love you”. Korra flinched at her own voice being hoarse. 

“Korra?!” 

“Shhh. I’m.. I’m right here. No need to yell. And my head is killing me,” she muttered only opening one eye. 

“How are you feeling, sweetie?” Senna asked softly, handing Asami a mug of warmed wine.

“I’m okay. Just.. so exhausted”. Korra sat slowly and noticed she was just in her tank top and sweats.”And that smells delicious. Can I get some, mom?”

“Korra-“

“I won’t get carried away. But seriously, have I ever declined your spiced wine? I don’t know what you do to it, but if I ever turn it down, assume I’m incredibly sick”.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Senna chuckled before returning to the kitchen.

“So, uh, what happened after I..” Korra looked between Tonraq and Asami.

“Well, Zaheer is dead and the rest of the Red Lotus that showed up are either dead or behind bars,” Tonraq answered.

Korra nodded slowly, eyes starting to water as she looked to Asami.

“I’m fine. They didn’t hurt me. I was far more concerned about you,” Asami said quietly, touching Korra’s cheek. “When you went down.. I thought the worst. I thought you got caught in the cross fire”.

“It.. was just my mind. Everything that was going on, it was too much”. Korra took her mug from Senna and receiving a kiss to her forehead. 

“Come, honey, let’s give the girls some privacy”. Senna took Tonraq’s hand and led them out of the living room.

“I’m sorry, ‘Sami. I should have been able to stop this. He said to keep you close and did I do that? You were almost killed because of me! I wasn’t there-“

“Kor, stop. He was going to find a way to get to me regardless. I’m kinda glad it happened this way, if I’m being honest. Yes, it was terrifying. Neither of us are going to sleep well tonight. But, I got to witness the man who nearly took your life lose his”.

Korra took a sip from her mug, a pleased hum leaving her. She would swear her mom made the best spiced wine in the entire world.

“Okay, but.. it shouldn’t have happened like this. It should have been a simple transport”.

“When has anything in your life been simple, love?”

“I- shut up. But seriously, are you okay?”

“Yes, I’m okay”. Asami shifted slightly as Korra swung her legs off of the couch and cuddled close, resting her head on her shoulder. “If anything, just emotionally hurt. It’s not everyday I get a knife held to my throat, or see you completely drop to the ground like that and not wake up for hours”.

“This isn’t funny, babe”.

“I never said it was and I already said neither of us are going to sleep well,” she eased before taking a drink from her own mug. “What does your mom put in this?”

“I wish I knew. Maybe someday she’ll be willing to give up the recipe,” Korra laughed softly. 

The two sat in comfortable silence for a few minutes as they sipped at the wine in their mugs. Though nothing went to plan, they were able to come home to each other. That’s all Korra could care about. The mental damage could be taken care of later. All that mattered was her and her somewhat-fiancé cuddled up on the couch.

“Babe? I just want to let you know how fucking sexy it was watching you beat the shit out of that guy”.

“Seriously? I mean.. if you thought that, I wish you would have been conscious for the others I squared up with,” Asami teased, taking Korra’s hand and lacing their fingers together. 

“I know I promised you’d get to have my clothes on the floor and my body under yours, but it’s gonna have to wait until at least the morning. I’m way too exhausted. Like.. I’d probably fall asleep before we got to do much”.

“Adding to the list of things to do tomorrow,” Asami started, brushing her finger over the ring Korra still hadn’t taken off, “I think we need to have a bit of a talk about.. some things”.

Korra bit her lip as she tried to suppress the blush quickly rising to her cheeks. All she could manage was a nod in agreement. They definitely had something big to talk about, and it made Korra’s heart swell. Things were definitely going to be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple more songs. Just cause I can’t keep secrets well:
> 
> Life’s A Mess- Juice WRLD, Halsey  
> Must Have Done Something Right- Relient K  
> Face Down- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus  
> VICES- Mothica  
> About Love- MARINA


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another somewhat short smut chapter, so not much of a summary again. 😅
> 
> Sorry this one took longer than usual. Life got crazy busy for no good reason on top of already trying to prepare for my first vacation of the year.

“So, um, is this official or something?” Korra trailed her fingers down Asami’s arm. “And do we start telling people?”

Asami adjusted her head on Korra’s chest. “If you want it to be official, then it can be. Or if you prefer to wait, that’s fine with me too. I already told you that I don’t need the necklace. Just having you here with me is enough”.

“But the necklace is important, ‘Sami!” She jokingly complained. 

“Shhh. You’re going to wake your parents. Do you want to tell them?”

“I- not yet. If you want to tell Opal, you can. I just don’t know. It doesn’t exactly feel real, ya know?”

“Then it’ll be our little secret for now,” Asami murmured, bringing herself closer to Korra.

“I’m still gonna do it again though. And you’re not allowed to shut me up next time”.

“Then don’t do it in the middle of a crisis again. And don’t-“

Asami let out a yelp as Korra poked her side. In seconds, she found herself under her and being tickled without mercy. She tried to stop the tan hands attacking her sides and eventually the backs of her knees. 

“K-Korra! Knock it off!” She laughed.

“Hey, quiet down. You’re gonna wake my parents,” Korra chuckled back, still not relenting. 

Asami’s laugh was easily one of her favorite sounds and she would do anything to hear it. Even if it meant getting kicked in the shins. Or having their positions suddenly flipped and nimble fingers poking at her neck and ribs. 

As expected, sleep was difficult and rough for the two of them. This round of being awake was started by Asami. It hadn’t been a particularly bad nightmare, but she still woke up scared. Usually Korra was a deep sleeper, but not this night. Any sudden movement from Asami had her awake. And of course instead of just comforting each other and trying to get back to sleep, they decided to mildly talk about their sort-of-engagement and have a tickle fight. 

“Okay. Okay! ‘Sami, you win!”

Asami laid back down next to Korra, both of them breathing heavy from the laughter and trying to fight each other off. They were in agreement that maybe that’s all they really needed to sleep just a little better. A good laugh.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish, chief”.

Rolling her eyes playfully, Korra grabbed for the blanket that was now mostly off the bed. “Wanna try for some more sleep, love?”

“Please?”

After getting the blanket back onto the bed and over the both of them, Korra cuddled close and allowed Asami to soak in her warmth. She knew that she hated the freezing nights of the South Pole and was determined to keep her as warm as she could. She placed a chaste kiss to Asami’s lips and draped an arm over her waist.

“I love you”.

“I love you too. Try to get some rest yourself, Kor”.

Even though it was only a few hours until sunrise, they managed to fall back to sleep. It wasn’t completely restful, but it was still better than the small amount of sleep they had gotten the rest of the night.

_______________

“Where are we going?” Asami asked loud enough for Korra to hear her over the engine of the snowmobile as she gripped her waist a little tighter.

“Somewhere cool. I want you to actually enjoy your last couple days of vacation”.

“Everything down here is cool, cold even”.

Korra chuckled, shaking her head slightly at her joke. “Not everything, babe. Trust me. You’ll love this”.

“We’re in the freaking South Pole! How is everything not- Korra!”

Asami dug her fingers into Korra’s coat as she sped up without warning. After her body got used to the new speed, she let out a soft laugh. While she trusted her own driving ability at high speeds, Korra was a different story. The only way she would trust the woman going so fast was on a snowmobile. She couldn’t help but wonder what kind of crazy antics she did as a child on one. The thought of her going a little too fast and ending up in a snowdrift made her laugh a little more than she probably should have.

“We’re here!” Korra informed, idling down and slowly coming to a stop. 

“Oh, wow. Glaciers. Haven’t seen those before,” Asami teased as the engine was turned off. 

“Funny. It’s behind the glaciers, babe. C’mon!” 

Korra took Asami’s hand and led her to a small path between the towering pillars of ice and snow. As they squeezed through, Asami could see some steam from around the corner. 

“What-“

“I told you not everything down here is cold and frozen”. She said proudly, standing at the edge of the hot spring.

“Okay, but if you’re planning on getting in-“

“It’s just us, babe. No need for a swimsuit”. Korra gave a wink as she quickly got undressed and jumped into the water. 

“You’re insane,” Asami muttered, dropping the backpack Korra insisted on bringing and stripping herself of her layers. 

Korra popped her head back out of the water with a grin, seeing Asami shiver as the last articles of clothing were stripped away. “Ya know, the faster you strip and jump in you won’t be as cold”.

Rolling her eyes and a slight flinch at the freezing ice under her feet as she walked, Asami slid herself into the water. A relieved sigh left her lips as she let herself sink until the water was just above her shoulders. 

“Pretty nice, right?” Korra swam to Asami and wrapped her into an embrace. “I’ve wanted to show you this place before. And then everything kinda went to shit between us and-“

“Enough, love. I thought we agreed to put that nightmare behind us? Besides,” she gave Korra’s cheek a soft kiss, “you’re here and showing me this beautiful place now”.

“Yeah. I guess so,” Korra whispered, resting her hands on Asami’s hips. “Not a lot of others know about this one”.

“This one?”

“There’s a few other hot springs around, but this one kinda feels like it belongs to just me. I’ve seen like.. two other people ever come here and I haven’t seen them since. I.. like the privacy of it,” she admitted quietly, tracing Asami’s hipbones with her thumbs.

“It is nice, isn’t it?”

Asami rested her forehead against Korra’s and brushed their noses together. After a high stress day and a near sleepless night, the hot spring was incredibly welcomed. She could start to feel all the fear be soothed away, nothing else mattering but the woman in front of her. 

“When do you want to tell others, Kor?”

“Maybe when we make things more.. official? The headlines would be absolutely hilarious if we said anything right now. I mean, seriously. ‘Future Industries CEO and Southern Chief engaged suddenly due to fears of Zaheer’, ‘no ring? No necklace? Are traditions failing amid Zaheer terror?’”

Asami let out a laugh. As made up as those headlines were, she knew Korra did have a point.

“Okay. That’s all fair. I meant the people close to us, though. Your parents, Opal..”

“I guess we could. At least.. let them know we made that a promise to each other?”

“Simple enough compromise,” she whispered, pressing her lips to Korra’s.

As much as she wanted to tell everyone, she was going to respect Korra’s wish. All anyone else would know as of now would be that they promised to each other to get engaged relatively soon. A promise that would mean forever. A promise that was both terrifying and incredibly exciting. 

As their lips moved effortlessly against each other, Korra couldn’t help but find everything mildly amusing. Her and Asami met at a club, complete strangers, and ended up quickly falling for each other. Asami helped her through addiction more than once. They started dating and eventually wanted to get married before. Of course, things went sour just as fast as their love bloomed. Two and a half long years wasted away from each other. 

Korra figured the only good thing to come from those years was getting the help she needed. And now, amends were made and issues talked about. Trust was nearly back to normal. It was as is if they never split. Everything felt normal again. And, the thing that still shocked her the most, Asami said yes to an unspoken proposal. She was sort of engaged. There was no way she was going to let anything slip this time. Korra loved Asami wholly and deeply, and that was that.

Asami felt Korra lift her effortlessly as always. She thought there was movement to deepen the kiss, to let one thing lead to another. That was until a smirk formed on the lips pressed to her own. Before she could form a question, Korra fell back into the water while keeping a firm hold on her. Small bubbles tickled her cheeks as the other woman let some air out through her nose as another kiss was pressed to her lips. 

After a few moments, the two resurfaced. Korra had a grin plastered on her face as she tucked some of Asami’s now wet hair behind her ear. She could feel Korra slightly bouncing on her tiptoes, barely able to touch the bottom as they had drifted out a little deeper. All she could do was smile, wrap her legs a little tighter around Korra’s hips,and stroke her cheek softly with the back of her hand.

“I love you”.

“I love you, ‘Sami. Always”.

“Go on. Ask”. 

Korra raised her eyebrow in confusion. “Ask what?”

“Spirits, Kor. Don’t make me spell it out for you. I just.. I want to hear the question fall from your lips. I don’t care if you’ll do it again at some point to make it all official. Just for us. Please”.

Korra tiptoed until she could touch the bottom with her whole foot before setting Asami to her feet. She took her hands in her own as a warm, crooked smile came to her face once she realized what her sort-of-fiancé was asking of her.

“Well, I don’t have a necklace made for you. Yet. And you’ll hear these words again someday. But.. Asami Sato, will you marry me?”

“Yes, Korra, chief of the Southern Tribe, I will. Even after everything, I want to spend forever with you”.

Asami crashed their lips together, unsure of why she was crying. All she could come up with was from hearing Korra actually say the words she stopped her from saying a couple nights ago and actually, finally, able to respond to them. Maybe the world didn’t have to find out yet. They were engaged, even if it was just between them for now. That’s all that really mattered in this moment.

Korra pulled their bodies flush by Asami’s hips. She slowly moved a hand to the small of her back, pressing it flat and holding her now-fiancé as close as she could.

_ Fiancé? I really love that sound of that. Even better? I’ll get to call Asami fucking Sato my wife someday. _

She felt Asami tangle her fingers of one hand into her hair, the other resting on her upper back to keep their bodies flush. A small whimper left her as she felt teeth pull at her bottom lip softly, asking for permission. Korra did a mental eye roll. She appreciated the want for consent, but right now all she wanted was one thing: Asami. Eagerly opening her mouth to answer the silent question, she deepened the kiss, gently gliding her tongue across Asami’s and earning a stuttered moan.

Korra was in no way planning for sex in the hot spring, but she felt the start of an ache between her legs. The wandering hands of Asami told her that she was feeling the same, but that it was likely going to be a slow build to a knee buckling climax. Her only thought to that was to not have either of them drown.

In a quick motion, Asami lifted her with ease with the help of the water. Her hands found the backs of Korra’s thighs as she wrapped her legs around her waist. She gave a gentle squeeze as her fiancé took a sharp breath through her nose at the slightly cooler temperature hitting bare skin. Thankfully the steam kept her warmer than if she was naked further away from the hot spring. 

Asami pulled back slightly, lungs desperate for more air than what she had been getting. She looked up at Korra with love in her eyes and seeing the same look being returned. 

“You’re amazing,” Korra breathed while holding Asami’s face gently. “And you were right, forever isn’t long enough”.

She wasn’t sure if it was from the steam or Korra’s words, but she felt her face grow slightly warmer. Asami couldn’t help but feel a little upset at the two and a half years they had missed together. In this moment it felt like a lifetime ago.

“I missed you,” she whispered against Korra’s lips.

“We’ve spent like, two weeks here together. I’ve been here-“

“No, sweetheart. Those two and a half years.. I missed you. No matter how upset I was, I missed you so damn much. It’s always been you. Korra, I’m so sor-“

Korra silenced her with a deep kiss before parting slowly. “I missed you too, ‘Sami”.

Asami leaned in for another kiss and Korra took no time in meeting her halfway. Tan fingers traced her jaw, moving slowly down her neck and along her collarbones. Adjusting her hands on Korra’s thighs, she tried to convey one message: closer. The woman in her arms didn’t hesitate, adjusting her legs tighter around Asami’s waist.

Korra groaned into Asami’s mouth at the nails slightly starting to dig into the backs of her thighs. Rolling her hips as best she could, she silently begged Asami for more. 

This hadn’t been part of her plan of giving Asami an actual vacation. After the absolute insanity she was thrust into, all Korra wanted was for her to have at least a little time to relax. She truly felt terrible for Asami being drug into the Zaheer mess. 

Before she had much more time to dwell, Korra felt lips slowly starting to trail her jaw. She let her head fall off to the side slightly to give Asami more access. A small whimper left her at feeling the warm breath on her neck pull back.

“B-babe! Come on!”

“Please tell me there’s a spot I can set you on where your ass won’t freeze”.

“Aww, arms getting tired?” Korra teased as she trailed her finger along Asami’s jaw.

“Nope. But I’m being serious”.

“Uh, any place with.. um.. st-stone showing,” she stuttered out, mostly distracted by the lips and teeth at the side of her neck. “The steam makes it too warm for... aha.. ice and snow”.

Asami let out a hum of understanding against Korra’s sternum. The hand the back of her head wasn’t forceful, just simply guiding as her lips continued to trail lower. She let the guiding hand continue until she couldn’t get lower with their given positions and lightly nipped at the skin under Korra’s breast, eliciting a deep moan and slight roll of the hips from her.

Korra tried to control her hips. She really did. Her control faltered as Asami adjusted so she had a hand on her lower back and the other started slowly running up her side as she took a nipple into her mouth. Korra was thankful for the water helping hold her weight, realizing that it was mostly her own legs around Asami holding herself up. 

Moans and sighs continued to leave her as her lover licked and gently nipped at the nipple in her mouth, eventually switching sides. The hand that had been tenderly sliding up her side found the breast that wasn’t being given attention by Asami’s mouth and squeezed gently before brushing the thumb over her stiffened nipple.

Korra didn’t have a ton of room to move her hips between Asami’s stomach and hand on her back, but the friction she was able to achieve against her stomach was easily adding to her building desire. She let out a soft whimper as lips left her chest and the grip against her lower back loosen. 

“‘Sami? C’mon,” she mumbled with a pout. “That felt nice”.

“You know what else will feel nice?” Asami asked, voice low.

“You tell-“ Her words were cut by a drawn out moan and her eyes fluttering closed.

Asami had taken the opportunity of the slack in Korra’s legs around her waist to slide a hand between them, not hesitating to slide two fingers into her with ease. She felt strong hands brace onto her shoulders as Korra adjusted and bucked her hips into her hand.

“I sure hope this feels nice too,” Asami murmured with a smile before placing a hot kiss to the side of Korra’s neck.

“M-more than. So much more than just ni- fuuuuuck”. She dug her fingers into Asami’s shoulders with a deep groan. 

Asami had started a slow, yet knuckle deep pace with her fingers. She let Korra roll her hips into her hand, being sure to have her clit make contact with the base of her palm. This wasn’t a usual position for either of them. By now, a desk or bed would have been brought into the picture. 

Asami accidentally let a frustrated groan escape her which caused Korra to tense slightly.

“I.. are you okay? Y-ya know, we don’t have to do this. If- if you don’t want to”.

“No, no. I most definitely do. I just remembered.. I left the strap-on back home”.

It was Korra’s turn to groan playfully, “of course you did”.

“Not like you brought it up,” she teased back, suddenly hooking her fingers.

After a soft, pleasure filled gasp, Korra was able to find her voice again. “It sure would have made this position easier”.

Asami cocked her eyebrow. “You’re talking far too much, love”.

She removed her hand from between them, receiving a low groan of protest. Before Korra could protest further, Asami crashed their lips together and started walking towards the edge of the hot spring. Gently setting her down on a warm rock, she took her face in her hands and deepened the kiss. Korra responded with a quiet moan, running her hands down Asami’s sides.

No matter the amount of times they were intimate with each other, they always found themselves relearning and memorizing the other’s body over and over. Every curve, ridge of muscle, bump of a scar; nothing went undiscovered. 

Korra held Asami’s hips and pulled her closer between her legs. Being seated on the ledge put her head just under Asami’s. She took that as an advantage and started to give love bites to the collarbones in her face. 

Asami tried and failed to fight the moan falling from her lips. She was enjoying the warmth the hands on her hips were providing now that the waterline was just barely above mid-thigh. As she was focused on that warmth, she felt one hand slowly move to her thigh. Almost on instinct, Asami spread her legs a little wider and before she could speak, Korra bit down slightly harder at her shoulder as she sunk two fingers as deep as she could into her.

Korra barely touched the skin of Asami’s stomach as she trailed her free hand up to lightly grab her breast. She knew she left a mark near the top of her shoulder with her teeth as she pinched the stiffened nipple gently. Soothing the skin with her tongue, Korra began a slow thrust of her fingers. She knew Asami’s resolve was about to crumble and would be moaning her name to the spirits at any moment.

“I- Kor..” Asami’s breathing caught slightly as she felt a firm hook against her front wall. “Y-you.. ah... you first, sweetheart”.

“I can wait, love,” Korra whispered between kissing at her neck. “It’s your vacation”.

She pulled Asami on top on her so she was straddling her legs while never removing or slowing her fingers. Korra gave a loving smile as she looked into the green eyes hovering slightly above her. She was still having a hard time wrapping her head around the fact they were engaged, even if it was still only a promise between each other. Part of her still wondered why Asami even loved her, if she even deserved the happiness she felt. Those dark thoughts were pushed away as the woman on her lap cupped her face and brought their lips together.

Korra adjusted her hand so the back of it was pressed against her own clit. She rocked her hips to the pace of her fingers inside Asami. 

“You’re beautiful, ‘Sami,” she breathed out against her lips. “Inside and out”.

Asami braced her hands on Korra’s shoulders as she worked her own hips slightly harder. She knew Korra was holding back just enough to drive her insane with want. It wasn’t that she was thrusting lazily, that would have been the opposite of the truth. Asami’s favorite blue eyed woman was keeping the pace just fast enough to prolong arousal, but just too slow to actually hit an orgasm. And Korra knew it drove her crazy.

She felt Asami push her back slightly and she braced herself on her elbow to keep from laying all the way down. With that same hand, Korra gently gripped her thigh. Their breaths were both becoming heavy and ragged, mixing in the small space between their mouths. 

“K-Kor.. please, love,” Asami managed around a moan as Korra quickened her pace.

In response, she began hooking her fingers with each thrust. Asami dug her nails into Korra’s shoulders as the rocking of her hips gave the right amount of friction to her clit against her palm. She could feel the pressure building in her lower abdomen, the faint tingle of release becoming known at the places where skin met skin. 

“I-I’m.. Korra, I’m-“

“Shh. It’s okay. I know,” Korra whispered around a groan, nearing the edge herself. “You don’t gotta fight it, ‘Sami”.

She bucked her hips slightly quicker, enjoying the slightly higher pitched moan that come from the woman on top of her. Korra leaned up and crashed their lips together in a deep and heated kiss. Another groan came from her chest as Asami’s hips rocked into her hand causing her clit to press harder into the back of it. 

Without much warning, Korra placed three more rough, quick hooks into Asami’s front wall. She bit Korra’s lip as a powerful orgasm hit her like a train. Her nails dug into her upper back when she didn’t stop the thrusting of her fingers, small puffs of air rushing through her nose as she shook with the waves. In a matter of moments, Asami heard a few short grunts followed by a drawn out moan come from underneath her as Korra crashed over into her own bliss. 

After catching their breath, Korra removed her fingers and sat up to wrap her arms around Asami. She stopped short, seeing concern in the green eyes in front of her. 

“Hey, what’s wrong, love?” Korra asked softly.

“You’re bleeding,” came the quiet reply, a pale thumb running along Korra’s bottom lip.

“Well.. yeah. I’m surprised you didn’t notice sooner,” she laughed, wiping the small amount of her blood off of the corner of Asami’s mouth.

With a soft grunt, Korra lifted her and slid them both back into the water. She carefully toed at the bottom of the hot spring as she walked, carrying Asami, until she found a small ledge for them to sit on. 

“I didn’t mean to bite that hard,” she murmured, shifting to sit behind Korra. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, love. If nothing else, I’ll tell my dad I.. slipped and fell or something,” Korra chuckled as she leaned back against Asami. 

“Really? You slipped and fell? Kor, I know you’re clumsy sometimes but, spirits, he would never believe that. Especially since we’re just supposed to be out to dinner together”.

“This is so much better than dinner though, don’t ya think?”

“I do have to agree with you on that”.

Asami kissed the top of Korra’s head as she wrapped her arms around her waist. They enjoyed not only the warmth of the water during their afterglow, but also the warmth of each other. They spent the next few moments in comfortable silence with Korra drawing mindless patterns on Asami’s forearms before breaking the silence.

“We’re gonna get married”.

The statement was quiet, almost breathless. It made Asami start to tear up from the overwhelming happiness that ran through her.

_After all these years.. finally. It’s always been only you, Korra_.

“Yeah. We are”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope the next chapter doesn’t take so long 😩 as long as I don’t get screwed over and end up having to work Saturday, there should still be a weekend chapter to look forward to


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter makes up for the previous one that just kinda felt like a throw away (to me at least).

Tonraq heaved out a deep sigh as he walked into his daughter’s office. This was the third day just this week he found Korra face mostly down into the crook of her elbow, passed out. It seemed this time around she had neglected to hide the glass he had suspected she had in her desk. Her hand was still around it, but limp as she slept.

He crossed the room quietly and took her coat off the back of her chair and draped it over her shoulders. As much as Tonraq hated seeing his daughter overwork herself, he knew better than to wake her. Especially after she had clearly been drinking. 

Both he and Senna had begun to notice Korra pulling away from them again. Neither could figure out why, and their daughter wasn’t exactly being forthcoming. They just hoped she was at least talking to Asami. 

Tonraq left her office and made his way back to his own. As he sat back down at his desk, he picked up his phone and decided to make a call to Future Industries. It had only been a couple weeks since Asami had to return back to the city and Tonraq was concerned that her absence was the reason for Korra’s poor mood.

“Miss Sato speaking”.

“Asami. How have things been up in the city?” He decided to start. He didn’t want to cut right to the real reason he was calling and worry his daughter’s ‘girlfriend’.

“Things have been running fairly smooth, actually. I wasn’t expecting a call from you. Is everything alright?”

“Not entirely. Has Korra been talking to you?”

“Of course”. Asami paused for a moment. “Is she okay?”

“Honestly, I was hoping you’d be able to tell me. She’s.. been pulling away again”.

“Really? I thought she’d have been talking to you guys. Korra’s been.. not sleeping well. She’s told me some of her bad nightmares have come back. There have been a few nights just this week she’s called me in tears. And before you ask, yes, I know she’s been drinking a little more than she should be”.

Tonraq let out a quiet sigh. It was situations like this that he wished Korra wasn’t so stubborn. Wished she would open up at least a little bit about what she was going through or feeling.

“At least she’s talking to someone about it. I was concerned it was because you had to return home”.

“Oh, she made it very clear that wasn’t the reason she’s been drinking more when she admitted it to me. It’s just..” Asami’s voice trailed off.

“Her mental health?”

“Yeah. I wish there was more we could do for her”.

“We all do, Asami. And thank you. For letting me know and being someone she can go to”.

“Of course”.

_______________

Korra woke with a soft groan as she sat up and stretched her shoulders. She wasn’t sure what time it was, only that the sun was starting to set, or why she was still in her office. Then she noticed that her coat wasn’t on the back of the chair where she left it. Instead, it ended up behind her from falling off her shoulders as she stretched. 

As if she was running on autopilot, Korra put the glass back into the bottom drawer of her desk before standing. She took a quick look around her office to make sure she had everything before tossing her coat on and making her way out of the building. As she walked in the direction of the parking lot something just didn’t feel quite right.

“You said it was supposed to be a transfer”.

Korra spun towards the voice, bringing her fists up. “And you said you’d get everyone to disband and that you’d leave Asami out of this”.

“Zaheer wasn’t supposed to die”.

Korra could hear snow crunching under several other pairs of boots. This wasn’t a one-on-one deal any longer. 

“Well, it sure wasn’t my fault he decided to attack me. He knew what was going to happen to him. Now you’re for sure safe from him. Do your part of the deal and fucking disband this faction of Red Lotus”.

The man just shook his head and slowly walked up to her. “Don’t worry. The others are here just as witnesses”. He gestured around to the three others that had came up behind him. “Drop your hands and just come with us. Peacefully. I’m sure your cousins can’t wait to have their father out of prison”.

“They don’t want him out,” she growled back, tensing slightly in preparation to throw a strike.

“Have it your way then”. 

He lunged forward, swiftly dodging the punch Korra threw and wrapping an arm around her waist. Using the forward momentum, he was able to throw her off balance and into the wall behind her. 

For a moment, a distant memory played in Korra’s vision. A faint rush of fear washed over her as she remembered Mako pushing her into walls. She braced herself against the wall as she forced her vision to remain focused on the man in front of her, sending his own punch.

Shaking the memories, she narrowly dodged the fist. Instead of returning the favor, she sent a kick to his knee and made contact. As his knee buckled, Korra followed with another hard kick to his ribs.

“I think I will have it my way,” she spat and roughly picked him up by the arm before looking at the others. “I suggest the rest of you get out of here unless you want to join him. And before I change my mind”.

“I thought your way was to kill all of us for going after that girl of yours”.

Korra stayed silent as she drug the man back inside the building. It was getting late but thankfully there were still a couple guards left inside that hadn’t left for the evening. She handed the guy over to one of the guards, quickly explained what happened, and left again. 

As she sat on her snowmobile, Korra pulled her phone out of her pocket and hurriedly called Asami.

“Hey, love. How are you feeling today?”

“Honestly? Like absolute shit. Babe, I just wanna come.. home. Have you had any issues with the Red Lotus there? And what about Mako? Is the guard you took doing his job?”

“Woah. Slow down, Kor. What’s going on? And why are you bringing up Mako?”

“The nightmares, ‘Sami. I can’t sleep. I’m drinking again. What if I can’t stop myself from doing worse? Why-“ Korra’s voice caught. “Why can’t I just be normal?”

Asami had fallen quiet on the other end of the call. She wished she had an answer, but she mostly wished she was there to hold her and ease the demons in her mind away.

“Have you left your office yet?”

“If you’re asking if I made it back home, no I haven’t. I was about to head back and.. I just needed to call you”. 

“Why don’t you get back home, love. You can call me back and we can just talk about whatever you want”.

“Yeah.. okay. I miss you”.

“I miss you too, Kor. Get home safe, alright?”

“I will. I love you”.

“I love you too”.

Korra ended the call with a sigh. She couldn’t wait to be back in the city and able to go home to Asami. 

The nightmares had been exhausting. Some were of Zaheer, but most had been of Mako. Some involved Asami, others didn’t. She knew the lack of sleep had been keeping her on edge, snapping at the smallest things on occasion. Deep down, she wished her poor mood was because Asami had gone home. That would have been simple to remedy.

_______________

Asami sat at a workbench in her shop. It was finally a quiet day without having to deal with investors and entrepreneurs. In her workshop, everything had a simple answer. Nothing needed a negotiation. It was just her, her tools, and whatever she wanted to build or tinker with.

She tightened the vise on a thin piece of metal and spun in her chair to prepare her cutting torch. Normally Asami would have used a small jewelry saw, but working with platinum called for some more power. Just as she was about to light the torch a knock came from the workshop door. With a soft sigh, she turned the gas off and stood.

“Come in!”

“I hate to bother you, Miss Sato, but an Opal would like to know if she could come in”.

No matter how many times Asami had told the guard to call her by first name, he never did. She knew he was simply used to formalities so she tried to not let it bother her too much, but was still going to remind him. Again.

“You know- Opal? Yes, of course she can come in”.

He did a small salute and stepped out of the doorway to let Opal through before closing it again.

“What’s with the new guard?”

Asami sat back down with a huff, gesturing for Opal to have a seat on the other stool. “Korra sent him back with me. I guess there’s still a few factions of the Red Lotus that aren’t completely disbanded and set on finishing the work Zaheer started”.

“That’s understandable,” Opal said as she sat. “When is she coming back?”

“If everything goes according to schedule, in about a week”. 

Asami briefly shifted her gaze away from her friend. Of course, she was excited for Korra to finally come home but it seemed only she knew of the fall in mood her fiancé was going through. She hadn’t talked to her parents or anyone much about it. In Korra fashion, she put on a brave face for everyone. 

“Is.. everything alright?”

“Yeah! I mean..” Asami let out a soft sigh, “her mood just hasn’t been the best. I told her to let Tonraq and Senna help her deal with some of it, but you know how she gets”.

“Stubborn. Even I can tell through her texts that she’s bothered by something. Please tell me she’s opened up to you”.

“She has. To what extent, I’m not sure. Her nightmares haven’t really gotten much better and she’s worried about.. well..”

“Asami..”

“Mako. She’s worried about Mako,” Asami said quietly.

“Really? Any idea why?”

“I might not know everything as to why, but she mentioned the restraining order being expired. She never renewed it since she thought she wouldn’t move back permanently after..” Asami shrugged. 

Opal nodded slightly. The few times she had joined Bolin to see his brother hadn’t been incredibly tense. She had figured it was because Mako had gotten more help for his anger issues, but now she wondered if it was because Korra was so far away and had been for a while. Unfortunately, it made sense.

“We’ll figure it out. I’m sure Lin wouldn’t mind renewing it. Especially considering she completely refused to clear his record when Korra asked before she left”.

“That’s.. true”. Asami turned back to the piece of metal in the vise and a smile came to her face. “So...”

“So?” Opal asked, urging her friend to continue. 

“Korra and I... we kinda made a promise to each other-“

“You did not! Asami, how dare you not tell me!”

“It’s.. not exactly official”.

_ Liar. _

Opal crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow. She knew her friend and the smile she wore was nearly giving it all away. “Asami..”

“She didn’t want it to be! Right now it’s just a promise for it to happen someday..”

“You’re a terrible liar when it comes to both Korra and me. And you know it”.

Asami knew Opal was definitely right. The two of them could catch her in a lie before it even left her mouth. With a quiet chuckle she turned the gas of the torch back on and lit it. 

“Just don’t tell anyone. She wanted to wait until she had the necklace made for me”.

She narrowed the flame and began to cut a narrow strip from the metal in the vise. Asami knew Korra would have had no issue keeping the other ring, seeing that she still hadn’t taken it off since the accident, but she still wanted to make a new one. One that was finished. Sure, she could have asked Korra for the other one back to finish, but still wanted to give her something not tied to a time they both wanted to put behind them.

“And you wanted to make her a new ring?”

“I was going to regardless, but it didn’t matter to me in making this official. It already is. I’m just respecting her traditions”.

______________

Naturally as their life would have it, things didn’t go according to schedule. Korra ended up having to spend a few extra days in the South Pole to bring some order and peace between two neighboring villages. Asami was disappointed in hearing the news, knowing she wouldn’t be able to pick her up from the airport. Korra, on the other hand, was more than simply disappointed. She was quite pissed off about the whole situation. Asami had just stayed quiet on the phone as her fiancé vented. Loudly. 

Instead of suggesting that Korra wait until the weekend so she could be the one to pick her up, Asami said that Opal would be happy to pick her up whenever she could get the next flight. Thankfully that had calmed Korra down at least a little bit. They wouldn’t have to wait any extra time between Korra getting back from the villages and the weekend to see each other again. It had felt like the longest month either of them experienced in a long time.

As Korra grabbed her luggage and made her way to the lobby, she couldn’t help but watch around. She would have been lying if she were to say that she wasn’t at least a little worried that there were some stubborn Red Lotus factions in the city that were just waiting for her. Finally she saw Opal. They met each other halfway and gave one another a tight hug. 

“How was the flight?”

“Long. The excitement of coming home to someone you miss makes it feel so much longer than it is. One of these days I’m bringing you and Bo with us for a vacation”.

Opal stepped back, rolling her eyes. “No offense, but it’s too cold for me”.

“Oh, come on!” Korra hooked her elbow with Opal’s and started to walk out of the airport and towards the parking lot. “It’s not that bad. If Asami can handle the cold, you most definitely can. You know how much she absolutely hates being cold”.

Letting out a laugh, she led Korra to her car and opened the trunk for her to toss her luggage in. 

“Congrats, by the way”.

Korra stopped halfway getting into the passenger seat. “She told you?!”

“No. I guessed,” Opal said matter-of-factly. “And we both know she’s a terrible liar when it comes to us”.

“Yeah, you’re right on that,” Korra chuckled and finished getting into the car. 

As Opal began the drive, they engaged in small talk. Korra was completely unaware of her plan. Opal wasn’t taking her home. She was taking her directly to the Future Industries tower. And it wasn’t even a favor asked from Asami. She was surprising them both.

“Uh.. where are we going? The estate is that way”. Korra gestured to the turn Opal should have taken.

“You’re going to see your fiancé. She’s not expecting you, but I figured she would enjoy this surprise”.

“I- Opal, she’s going to kill you if she’s in the middle of a meeting,” Korra groaned.

“Doubt it. She mentioned she didn’t have a ton to do today. Mostly paperwork and something about a new design she’s working on for Lin”.

As they pulled into the parking lot, Korra couldn’t help but smile. She missed Asami.Unbuckling herself, she went to get out of the car.

“Hey, I’ll take your luggage back to the house. Go say hi to your girl”.

“You’re seriously the best! Thank you, Opal. Drive safe,” Korra said hurriedly as she got out and closed the door.

She bounded up to the doors and entered. The receptionist recognized her with a warm smile.

“Here to see Miss Sato?”

“Yup. Don’t let her know I’m here though. It’s a surprise. Is she in a meeting or anything right now?”

She checked through some papers that Korra assumed was Asami’s schedules. “She should be free. You can go up”.

“Cool. Thanks!” 

Korra bypassed the elevator, deciding to take the stairs in an effort to calm herself down. Her legs were burning from climbing all the flights when she finally reached the top floor. After saluting the guard she had sent with Asami she cleared her throat and knocked a couple times on Asami’s door. She waited for a few breaths and was about to knock again when she heard her call to come in. As she opened the door, their eyes met. 

“Korra?!” Asami stood quickly, in disbelief. She had thought she would be waiting until she got off work to see her again.

“Hey, babe,” Korra said around a large smile.

She had barely gotten the door closed behind her when Asami ran up to her and pulled her into a tight embrace. The tears on her face didn’t go unnoticed. Korra held onto her tightly, rubbing her back softly as she fought her own tears of joy. 

“I missed you. Spirits, Korra, I missed you,” Asami whispered through her tears and digging her fingers into Korra’s back.

“I missed you too,” Korra sniffled. The longer they held each other, the harder it was starting to be be to fight her own tears.

Asami finally pulled back and held Korra’s face gently. “What are you doing here? I thought.. I thought we were going to meet up at home”.

“Yeah, I thought so too. This was Opal’s idea,” Korra managed to chuckle, carefully wiping the tears off of Asami’s face. 

Asami ran her thumbs just under Korra’s eyes, a small frown beginning to form. “You look exhausted, sweetheart. I only have a few more hours left so you can take a nap on the couch if you want,” she said quietly while nodding to the couch in the room.

“No, no. I’m fine-“

“Korra. You really look like you’re about to pass out. You were on a plane for nearly an entire day. Did you even sleep?”

“Uh.. nope? I think I’m about 36 hours without sleep”.

“You look it. But, spirits, why?!” She asked, giving Korra’s shoulder a firm jab with her finger.

“Well,” Korra started, placing her hands on Asami’s hips, “I simply couldn’t sleep. Then I was on the plane and I wasn’t about to risk having a nightmare in that situation so I loaded myself up with a ton of coffee. It’s pretty likely I’ll be crashing soon anyhow, but seeing you was definitely more important than a little bit of sleep”.

“You’re impossible”.

“You love it”.

Asami rested her forehead against Korra’s, meeting eyes. She looked exhausted, but at the same time, she had a look of sheer excitement. Watching as blue eyes flicked to her lips, a small smile came to her face. She took no time in pressing her lips to Korra’s, answering her incredibly simple request.

Korra moved a hand from Asami’s hip to the back of her neck when she put her arms around her waist and pulled her closer. They parted for a breath and quickly found themselves locked into a deeper kiss than the first. Asami slid a hand under the back of Korra’s shirt and began to lightly trace her fingers along her spine. Her other hand moved to the back of her neck and gently toyed with the fine hairs at the edge of her hairline. 

In response, Korra slowly untucked Asami’s shirt with the hand that had been on her hip. With the other, she took her hair out of the ponytail, keeping the hair tie around her wrist. Asami let out a soft groan into her mouth as a warm hand ran up her stomach and fingers started running along the bottom of her bra.

“Kor,” she breathed out against her mouth.

“Not here?”

“That, I don’t care about. What I do care about is the door not being locked”.

Korra reached back and fumbled for the lock. After making sure the door was secure, she made quick work of the buttons of Asami’s shit. A month without sex made her desperately want to just rip the shirt off and send buttons flying, but the slightly more coherent part of her remembered Asami still had to finish the workday after this. She slid the shirt past Asami’s shoulders and gave each inch of newly exposed skin a kiss.

Neither was hesitating. Korra quickly removed her own shirt and bindings while kicking her shoes and socks off. Asami removed her bra, heels, and skirt just as Korra was getting out of her pants and boy shorts. She decided to kick their clothes into a pile so they wouldn’t have to wander around the whole office looking for any of the items. Just as she was about to turn back to Asami, she felt a pair of damp panties placed on her shoulder. 

“Seriously?” she chuckled.

“I mean, you’re the one gathering our clothes. You have one more thing to add to the pile, love,” Asami teased, running her nails down a toned back. 

Korra shivered slightly at the pleasurable sharpness and tossed Asami’s panties onto the pile of clothes. She turned and quickly pulled Asami into a hasty and needy kiss. A few moments later, she left her mouth for her jaw before making her way slowly down her neck. She could tell Asami was forcing herself to be quiet, only allowing soft gasps and hushed moans to leave her whenever she bit down amidst the kisses. Korra felt fingers tangle into her hair, a hand on the back of her head telling her to hold still for a moment once she reached just below a collarbone. With a smirk, she worked a dark mark onto the skin.

In the effort to focus on the warm lips against her skin and keeping herself hushed, Asami didn’t notice Korra had backed her into the wall until she hit it. Calloused hands ran up her sides as the other woman slowly got to her knees, kissing and nipping at her stomach on the way down. She glanced down and found herself unable to pull her gaze from the love filled oceans staring back up at her. 

_ Spirits, how did I get so lucky? _

“I love you, Kor”.

“I love you too,” Korra murmured before kissing the inside of her thigh. 

She continued kissing up the inside of Asami’s thigh and moved her other leg over her shoulder. A soft gasp came from above her when she gave a quick kiss to her clit followed by drawn out moan as she ran her tongue through her folds. Korra knew she wanted to get her off first, but the caffeine was starting to wear out of her system and didn’t want to fall asleep and leave Asami unsatisfied.

She adjusted herself on her knees and dipped her tongue into her folds again. A hand on the back of her head urged her forward, silently begging for more. Korra was more than happy to oblige. Taking a deep breath, she dove in, sliding her tongue as far as she could through Asami’s entrance. A hum of approval came from her as she gently held the backs of pale thighs, her fiancé beginning to ride her face. 

After a few moments, Korra’s lungs were burning for air. She pulled back with a soft gasp to get air, replacing her mouth with her fingers. As she looked up while catching her breath a smile came to her face. Asami’s face and chest were flushed, she had a hand over her mouth to stifle the moans she clearly couldn’t control any longer, and her head was pressed back into the wall. With a soft, needy groan, Korra returned her mouth to Asami’s core, pressing her tongue flat against her clit and giving a firm lick. She felt fingers dig into her scalp as she quickened her thrusting fingers and continued the slow circles and occasional flick of her tongue against her clit. 

Korra noticed Asami’s walls starting to flutter as she neared her orgasm. She hooked her fingers sharply, earning a muffled yet drawn out moan. The thigh in her hand was just starting to begin to tremble. Not watching to draw this out for much longer, Korra sped up the movement of her tongue while giving the clit in her mouth a gentle suck at random. 

Asami came hard and quick when a well placed hook to her front wall timed with a suck on her clit happened. Her heel dug into Korra’s back as she was still being held as steady as possible by a hand on the back of her other thigh. She had a fist of her hair, her hips bucking with each wave that washed over her. Through the waves of pleasure she could feel Korra smirking, only able to guess it was about the way she was moaning and screaming her name into her own hand. She was finally able to feel fingers being slid out of her and her foot joining the other on the floor.

“You good up there?” Korra asked, wiping her chin.

“And here.. I thought I was going to get to you first,” she panted and helped Korra back to her feet. “But, yes, sweetheart, I’m just fine”.

“I knew you wanted to. But I didn’t want to fall asleep on ya and not get the chance to make sure you’re satisfied”.

Asami hummed quietly, pulling Korra into a deep kiss. She had noted the time, seeing that she only had about fifteen minutes until she needed to take a phone call she was expecting. With that information, she gently led Korra back until her knees buckled against the edge of the couch. Asami pulled her so that her hips were right at the edge and knelt between her legs. Fifteen minutes was all she had and she was determined to let the guard outside of her door know exactly what she was doing to his chief, to her secret fiancé.

Asami didn’t wait to dive two fingers into her and start a quick pace. She knew this unfortunately had to be quick. Korra bucked her hips the moment Asami’s tongue met her clit. She held the back of her head with both hands as she rocked her hips into her face. Each time she came back down, Asami made sure to press her fingers into Korra’s sweet spot. Each time earning either a gasp or long moan.

Before long, Korra’s movements grew choppy and her breathing ragged. Asami’s name was mixed into the profanities leaving her lips. Her fiancé rubbed at her favorite spot inside of her and gave her clit a few more quick flicks with her tongue, causing her to crash over her edge with a loud moan. 

Asami was certain the moan contained her name at some point, but her hearing was muffled by Korra’s thighs snapping closed around her head. It took a few breaths for her legs to loosen and once they did, Asami kissed her way up her stomach and chest, eventually ending in a lingering kiss to the lips before she stood.

“Feel better, sweetheart?”

“Mmm.. much. I missed you, ‘Sami,” Korra mumbled between taking a couple deep breaths.

She watched as Asami stepped from between her legs and brought them up onto couch so that she was laying down. 

“So you decided to take a nap after all?” Asami teased.

“Told you I was going to crash soon,” she replied around a yawn. “Wasn’t it you who suggested I stay and nap until you’re done with work?”

“Okay, I did. Just..” she tossed a throw blanket and her jacket over Korra, “keep yourself covered as best as you can. Just in case”.

Korra let out a hum, pulling the jacket to just under her nose. 

_____________

Over the past few months Korra finally got settled back into city. She was living with Asami again and Naga was back home with them. The nightmares were still rough, but not every single night like they had been the first few weeks she had gotten back. 

The gym had accepted her back with open arms, although she denied wanting to be partners with Kuvira again for the time being. She insisted on training alone or sparring with anyone else and when fights came around, Pema got her prepared. 

The only thing that she grew mildly irritated with is that she wasn’t allowed in the workshop in that time. Asami didn’t offer much of an explanation as to why, just that it wasn’t allowed. What Korra didn’t know is she was about to find out exactly why.

Korra had just won her first fight back on her old team by a hard knockout. It had been a close match the entire time, at times even looking like she was the one about to hit the mat. She was tired, bruised, and a little bloody by the end of it all. And just like any of her previous fights when they were dating before, Asami waited as patiently as she could. 

She always got a little worried when Korra was in the ring. This time was no different, especially seeing her stagger, clearly dazed after a few of the hits she took. Asami knew she had to be hurting. She watched and waited as Korra was checked over and finally declared the winner. After that moment, she was allowed into the ring.

“Congrats, love!” Asami yelled over the crowd, wrapping Korra into a hug. “You had me really worried there a few times. Are you okay?”

“I’m alright, babe. Just a mild concussion and a few cuts. I’ve definitely gotten out of the ring in worse shape before”. She gave her a quick kiss and quickly motioned for Pema to toss her bag into the ring. 

“Sweetheart,” Asami started and took ahold of Korra’s hand, “we met as complete strangers in a club. I had never seen someone as.. hurt as you were at that time. I wasn’t planning on falling for you. I just wanted to get to know you, help you through whatever had you so broken. Talk about being surprised when I found out who you really were and why you were so rough that particular night. The more I got to know you, the more I came to find out exactly how bad you were hurting inside. And yet, somehow I still fell for you through it all. And Korra-“

Korra let go of Asami’s hand and knelt down to get a box from her bag.

“And you dealt with every single stupid thing I put you through. I put you through so much hurt you should never have been put through. I’ll still always say that you deserve better than me, but I’ll always be happy you chose me regardless. I’ve always loved you, Asami. Through all the ups and downs, our time apart, every second of every day, I’ve loved and missed you”.

Asami reached into her jacket pocket for a small box of her own with tears in her eyes. This wasn’t exactly how she had planned for this to go. 

“K-Korra, it’s always been you for me. Everyone saw it the entire time but me, even when you were gone. I tried to deny it, but my heart and mind kept comping back to you”. She knelt down in front of Korra and opened the box to show the new ring she had made, quiet tears running down her face. “I want you forever. And even that wouldn’t be long enough. Broken bits and all. Ch-chief Korra of the Southern Tribe, will you marry me?”

Korra couldn’t fight her own tears any longer. She opened the box she had brought to reveal the necklace she had spent months making for this moment. 

“Only if- only if you marry me, Asami Sato. Broken bits and all. So.. will you please be my wife someday?”

“Yes. Absolutely, yes, Kor”.

“Good. Cause if you said no I’d feel like a damn idiot for saying yes,” she sniffled before pulling Asami in for a tight hug. 

Both of them sat in the middle of the ring, holding each other as happy tears came from them both. Neither had really thought it would have been such an emotional moment. They pulled back just far enough for Asami to slide the ring onto Korra’s finger.

“Where’s the other one?” She whispered with a sniffle.

“Had to take it off for the fight. It’s the rules. It’s in my bag, though”.

Korra wasn’t about to just sit there and admire the ring without returning the favor. She moved behind Asami as the crowd erupted in cheers and applause for the couple as she fastened the necklace around her neck. It seemed the cheers only grew louder as they both stood and shared a deep kiss, holding each other close. Once they parted lips, they each kept an arm around the other’s waist as they both waved to the crowd. 

Now that the engagement was official, Korra knew there would be headlines about it. Part of her cared and didn’t want the press, the other part didn’t even entertain the idea. All that mattered was Asami and herself. They were going to get married someday and the world could either deal with it or get on board.

Instead of concerning herself with the following days, even possibly weeks, ahead, she focused on getting them both out of the ring and to the locker room. She just wanted to get home and actually have a chance to truly admire the ring. And it was clear Asami wanted to admire the necklace by the way she kept touching the stone at her throat. 

Deep down they both knew sleep was going to be a fantasy tonight. And for the first time in a few months, a sleepless night was going to be a very good thing.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not quite sure why I haven’t had much to say lately.  
> This chapter is a bit of a rollercoaster, but not in a super bad way

Korra was going to go to the gym today. She was going to go spar with someone. Instead she looked out the window and groaned. The press was still hanging around just outside of the fence and she didn’t want to have to deal with them again. While she was used to the press and reporters from her career, she never got asked in depth questions about her personal life. And she came to find out she hated every part of it the single time she actually tried to go into town.

“Are you not going?” Asami asked softly, wrapping her arms around Korra from behind.

“No. They’re still out there,” she sighed. “It’s been a week”.

“If you think this is bad, you should have seen the crowd after my father went to prison. I couldn’t leave the house for nearly three months”.

“I wouldn’t mind it if they would just leave my personal life out of the conversation. How I’ve been since I nearly died, why I left for so long, what happened between us before..” she turned in Asami’s arms and rested her head on her shoulder. “I can take the questions about my career, the training, what I do in my spare time.. but not this. Not talking about my past to just have it broadcast to the world”.

“I’ll spar with you”.

“What?!” Korra pulled back slightly, holding Asami’s waist. “I can’t ask that of you. I- no”.

“You’re not asking, I’m offering. I know that’s the real reason why you wanted to get to the gym today, no one to spar with here”. She stopped Korra’s protest with a finger to her lips. “Don’t worry, you won’t hurt me. I’ve watched you fight many times and I’m sure I can take you”.

Korra gave a small pout. She knew Asami was a capable fighter. Regardless, she still didn’t want to accidentally hurt her. But she wanted to spar. She wanted the unpredictability a training dummy couldn’t supply.

“Fine. Just.. if you need me to stop, just let me know. I’d rather not give you a concussion”.

Asami gave Korra a quick kiss before leading her to the gym they had at home. Watching as she dug a set of sparring gear from a locker, Asami got herself changed into a sports bra and spandex shorts.

“Are you sure about this?” Korra asked softly, stripping down to her wrap and boy shorts.

“I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t. What else were we going to do today besides wait for our fan club to leave?”

“Okay.. fair point”. Korra took her ring off and set it with the rest of her clothes, watching as Asami did the same with her necklace.

They both put their hair up and tugged their gloves on before standing on opposite sides of the mat. 

“Ready?”

Asami gave a nod with a smirk, motioning for Korra to bring it on. She raised her hands as they met in the middle. The look in her fiancé’s eyes told her that she was hesitant. Deciding to try to break the stand-off she threw the first punch to try to show Korra that was being serious about sparring together. It seemed to do the trick as the look in her eyes changed when she dodged her first. 

Korra bounced back slightly, sending a kick to Asami’s hip. Her fiancé quite skillfully blocked the contact with her arm and used her other hand to grab ahold of her ankle. She was jerked forward and felt a fist land to her ribs, quickly followed by a knee driving into her thigh. As she stood straight again, she caught Asami’s arm as tossed her over her shoulder. What she wasn’t expecting was for her to use the momentum to rollback and spring to her feet as soon as she hit the mat.

Korra charged at her and faked a punch. In her attempt to block the hand, Asami didn’t see the knee coming at her ribs. At the contact, she let out a soft grunt and grabbed Korra’s thigh as she quickly shifted her foot to behind the one that was still firmly planted on the mat. With a quick movement, Asami jerked her foot and pushed on Korra’s leg. She didn’t account for Korra to hook her arm under her own. 

The both fell, Asami on top. Korra was quick to throw a few punches to her stomach and thigh as Asami landed a few of her own to her fiancé’s shoulders and chest. They had been in agreement that face shots weren’t going to be allowed since neither had a mouth guard in. 

Asami felt herself get thrown off balance and rolled off to the side, bracing an elbow on the floor. She knew Korra was going to stand so she landed a kick to her side, hearing a huff come from her as she landed back down. 

The two wrestled around on the ground for a few moments, securing and breaking grappling holds. It was all going well, both having fun with the sparring match, until Korra’s mind decided to get in the way. And it was a move Asami would regret. 

She wasn’t thinking as she managed to get behind Korra, swiftly securing a chokehold. As soon as she did it, she knew she made a mistake. It was a position she knew Korra absolutely hated to be in. Asami released the hold half a second too late, apology on her lips. Korra spun between her legs and drove her elbow to the side of her head and quickly scrambled to her feet. 

It was a hard enough hit it had caused Asami to fall off to the side. She sat back up and looked to Korra. Her fiancé had knelt back down, a hand clamped over her mouth and shoulders heaving.

“Korra, love, I’m so sorry-“

“Stop. It’s.. it’s part of sparring. It happens in actual fights all the time. I.. I didn’t mean to hit you that hard. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Are you sure you’re okay? I shouldn’t have..”

“I’m okay”. Korra cleared her throat and rubbed the tears out of her eyes that were threatening to become known. “I think.. I think I’m gonna call it. You’re, uh.. really fucking good”.

Asami furrowed her brow in worry. She knew deep down Korra wasn’t actually okay, but also didn’t want to press too hard to get her to talk. Instead she stood and walked over to her and helped her back to her feet. 

“Do you.. want to talk?” She asked softly as she pulled Korra into a hug.

“N-no. I’m alright, babe. You can go shower first. I want to grab a snack real quick”. Korra gave her a quick kiss, gathered her clothes and slid her ring back on before leaving the home gym for the kitchen.

Asami watched as the doors closed behind her. With a sigh, she grabbed her necklace and put it back on, picked up her clothes, and made her way to the bedroom. She knew she made a mistake, knew that Korra wasn’t exactly okay. All she wanted was to talk to her about what happened, but also knew she needed a few moments alone to gather herself.

Once in the bathroom she stood in front of the mirror and admired the necklace for what felt like the millionth time. Korra had clearly spent a lot of time on the carving. Every time she looked at it, she realized it was different from the one she had started on before. She had still done the circular border around the edge of the stone, but instead of the swirled waves, there was a crescent moon on the left and simple wavy lines through the bottom half. The gear of her company rested on the top line. Both the moon and border had been filled with steel. 

______________

Korra had barely spoken to Asami most of the day. Any time she tried to bring up what happened, Korra dismissed it and insisted she was okay. She knew better. Korra would eventually need to talk through it. So she had let it go for the moment. That was until she came down from her office to find her fiancé in the den, curled up on the couch with a bottle of wine, Naga sleeping on the floor, and the TV on, although she was clearly not watching.

“Sweetheart? Can we please talk?”

“Hm? Yeah. Sit with me?” 

Asami sat next to her, a worried expression resting on her face. She had noticed Korra had been crying, her eyes were a little bloodshot and a touch puffy. She took her hand and intertwined their fingers.

“Listen, Kor, I’m truly sorry. I knew I shouldn’t have done that”.

“It’s... okay, ‘Sami. It was in the heat of the moment. I know you didn’t mean it like..” she swallowed hard, “..that. I forgive you, okay?”

Asami reached for the bottle of wine and took a drink when it was handed to her. With a soft sigh, she noticed that there was only about a quarter of the bottle left. “Korra-“

“I’m not dismissing it. I just.. I forgive you. You’re not him. We were sparring. It happens. Not to mention I elbowed you pretty hard. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, Korra. I’m fine”.

Asami took another drink and shifted her attention to the TV. She stayed quiet for a moment, debating if she should continue this conversation. 

“Have you ran into him since you’ve been back?”

Korra quirked her brow at the slight shift in topic. “Uh, no. I don’t even know if he’s staying at the same place, but I’ve been avoiding going anywhere near it. And I know he doesn’t work for the department. Cause Lin decided to not clear his record..”

“You know she only denied it because he’s not fit to be a cop, right? He doesn’t get to be abusive and turn around and arrest the kind of people he also is”.

“And I can’t unblow a whistle.. I know. Lin told me all of this before. But the restraining order-“

“You can go renew it at any time,” Asami said, grabbing Korra’s hand again. 

“Maybe once the press clears out. It’s all.. too much right now. I’m just so tired of being so scared of him. I mean, I have no real reason to be anymore. I haven’t seen him in well over two, almost three years. So why the fuck is he still haunting me?” She grabbed the bottle back from Asami and took a deep drink. She didn’t want to start crying. Again.

“He.. hurt you, Kor. Badly. You have every right to still be scared he’s going to do something again. He knows you’re back and I don’t think there’s a single person who doesn’t know we’re engaged now”. She gave a sad smile and ran her thumb over the knuckles of the hand in hers. “Anyone in your shoes would be worried about a retaliation”.

“He always hated seeing me actually happy,” Korra mumbled with a sniffle. “I’m worried for you too, you know. If he can’t get to me personally, he could just go after you. And what if-“

“I’ll kick his ass if he even dares to come after me like that. Korra, I’m not afraid to put someone in the hospital if it comes right down to it. And.. he wouldn’t be expecting that coming from me”. Asami took the bottle away from Korra and set it on the coffee table before continuing. “Remember, he always said I was too weak”.

Korra let out a snort while shaking her head. “As if. He’s a damn idiot”.

______________

After another week, nearly all of the reporters had left. Korra was finally able to get out of the estate without too much harassment. She definitely had a hard time keeping her mouth shut when the few that were left asked sensitive questions. Asami had a grace in deflecting those kinds of questions or comments where Korra just wanted to snap at them. Thankfully a more rational part of her just opted to keep walking, or jogging if that’s what she was out to do.

Except she wasn’t just jogging now. Korra was putting herself through a hard run. She set landmarks in her mind for when she was to start a sprint, when she could slow back down, when she could slow even further to a jog. She needed to feel the pain of a hard workout to get her mind off of the questions she was asked on her way out: ‘how does your ex-boyfriend feel about the engagement? Do you still talk to him? Did he actually hit you?’

The last one was a punch in the gut. Even after all this time, they still questioned the situation. They didn’t want to believe she was a victim of assault, especially domestic. Korra had to tell herself, again, that none of what she had dealt with was her fault.

She wiped a tear off her cheek as she slowed to a jog, reaching the park. As she neared a bench she slowed further to a walk to make herself catch her breath. Still taking deep breaths from her run, she decided to sit. Unfortunately, memories came flooding back. She remembered how drunk she had gotten, apologized to Mako and said she would try to get his record cleared. 

Korra furrowed her brow at the memory and glanced at her hands. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked over the ring Asami had made. It wasn’t the first time, nor would it be the last, that she studied it. It was almost identical to the other ring, only having triangles etched into the band, every other one inlayed with a deep blue resin. The engraving inside the band had stayed the same, only adding one word: forever. 

She wanted to forget every memory of that day. The way Asami had said she was done, how much she drank, the goodbyes she said. Korra put her head in her hands after sliding the ring back on, a small sniffle leaving her.

“I would like to say my congratulations, chief”.

Korra’s head snapped up, instinctively preparing to stand and fight if she needed to. “Wh-what are you doing here?”

“Like I said, congratulations. With Miss Sato. I was.. unaware you had gotten back together. And so, um, serious with each other”.

“Thanks I guess,” she muttered, trying to ease her racing heart. “You can go now”.

Mako sat himself beside her. “Listen, I know we’ve had our issues-“

“I said you can go. I don’t need to hear your apologies. You’ve never really been sorry for everything you did to me”.

Korra could feel her breathing starting to catch as her last conversation with him raced through her mind. She had nearly begged him to take her to an alley and beat the shit out of her. She had said she’d appreciate it. As Mako reached his hand towards her, a strange act of comfort from him, she smacked it away before standing quickly. 

“No. You don’t get to touch me. Ever again, Mako. I just want you out of my head. You’re drowning me,” she whispered the last sentence through clenched teeth. 

“I know me saying sorry won’t ever fix anything between us. But I am, Korra. The things I did to you.. I should have never done”.

As he stood, Korra caught herself taking several steps back to keep distance between them. She started feeling sick to her stomach and her chest starting to tighten, and not in a way that was related to her run. Her eyes flicked down to his hands. The very hands that had landed so many bruising blows. Made her bleed. Choked her. 

She could hear Mako’s voice but couldn’t make out the actual words. Korra felt dizzy. She hadn’t realized she had backed up so far, unfortunately Mako following her, until her back came in contact with a tree.

_ Fuck. No. Don’t let this happen. I’m okay. We’re in a public place. He wouldn’t dare.. _

“Korra..?”

“Mako, please,” she gasped out, “I can’t.. do this. Could you, just this once, let me be happy?”

“You sure don’t seem particularly... happy”. Korra could hear the failed attempt at hiding the smirk in his voice.

_ Because you had to show up. And I’m not exactly enjoying the press. At least they’ll leave me the fuck alone at some point, unlike you. _

“I’m actually pretty damn happy with Asami. Not my fault you always show up to ruin it”.

“What-“

“Seriously. Do you have a ‘Korra’s happy, gotta go fuck it up’ radar? Because it really seems like you have a sick way of finding and cornering me whenever I’m doing pretty okay again”.

She flinched ever so slightly as he raised his hand, but a smirk fell to her lips as he dropped it back to his side.

_ That’s right. We’re in the open, asshole. _

“Well, congratulations again. I’m going to get going”.

Korra watched as he stalked away, clearly defeated he didn’t get his way this time. She let herself sit against the tree, resting her head back against it. Maybe one of these days she wouldn’t have to deal with him any longer. Just like she didn’t have to deal with Zaheer any longer. 

____________

A loud crack of thunder woke Korra from a deep sleep. Storms never really bothered her much, usually being able to sleep through them without issue. This particular bolt of lightning hit close enough that the accompanying thunder was a house shaking crack instead of a distant rumble. 

She muffled a panicked yelp with her hand as her body jerked her upright. Glancing around, Korra took note that she was still in bed, Asami sound asleep next to her. 

_ It’s just thunder, idiot. Go back to sleep. _

Just as she took a deep breath and made her way to lay back down, another bright flash and loud crack made her freeze. Before she knew it, Korra’s ears were ringing with more ear splitting cracks that were definitely not thunder. Searing pain shot through her side and back. And suddenly there was a hand on her arm. She drew back with the other hand, fully prepared to make the point to Mako to never touch her again. As Korra took the swing, another hand grabbed her wrist and there was a spark of green in her vision.

“Korra? Spirits, love, it’s me!” Asami quickly decided to not let go of the wrist or arm in her hands. Not until Korra came around.

This wasn’t a nightmare. Korra definitely had eyes set to teach someone a lesson the hard and painful way. Asami knew Korra wasn’t in the present, that she was somewhere stuck in her mind. She decided to take the risk, even if it was a stupid idea. Asami let go of her fiancé. 

Korra was still tense. Her fists were clenched and jaw tightly set. And her stare wasn’t set on Asami; it was set somewhere through her. If the past said anything, Asami knew that exact look from years ago. The look of reliving nightmare after nightmare, all the horrible things that had happened to her. 

Asami knew the great risk of her next move, but didn’t care. She grabbed Korra’s face gently and pressed a kiss to her lips. Instead of the kiss being returned, she felt strong hands grip her shoulders.

_ Shit. _

She gave another kiss, letting it linger even though the fingers digging into her shoulders were starting to get uncomfortable. The kiss was still left unanswered.

“Come back, my love,” Asami whispered against her lips. “You’re safe. They can’t hurt you”.

She let her thumbs run along Korra’s cheeks, just below her eyes. As a tear hit her thumb, Asami knew that she was starting to come around. The hands on her shoulders loosened as blue eyes finally focused on her. 

“There you go, Kor. You’re okay”.

“I.. Asa-“

Another loud crack of thunder cut her off. Fear coursed through her again and she shoved Asami away. Nearly falling off the bed, Korra got to her feet and didn’t even realize Asami had also gotten out of bed to stand in front of her.

“Korra, listen to me. It’s the storm, okay? I’m right here”. She held Korra’s head between her hands again, this time making sure her palms were over her ears. The way she had her eyes closed tightly, silent tears leaking from the corners, tugged at Asami’s heart.

Korra brought her hands up and covered Asami’s, barely choking out, “Naga. Get Naga. Please”.

After a kiss to her forehead and getting Korra back into bed, Asami whispered, “okay. I will. Just breathe for a moment”.

To Korra it felt like far too long she had been left alone in bed. Only a minute had truly passed when she felt the weight and fur of Naga on top of her, mainly on her legs. A weight and warmth of another body joined her in bed. Eventually fingers began running through her hair. She had no idea how long she laid like that, but eventually the exhaustion took over and sleep pulled her under again.

_______________

“Korra! Come on! Just one? Please?”

“Bo, seriously?! Me, in a dress? You have got to be joking”. Korra crossed her arms as they stood outside of a wedding store.

“Okay, why don’t you like dresses?”

“It’s not that I don’t like them. I just- they don’t look good on me, okay?” She let out an exasperated sigh, “None of them fit right. I’m too-“

“I swear if you say you’re too muscular for a damn dress I’m going to make Bumi let me spar with you so I can knock that shit right out of your head”. Bolin crossed his arms as well.

“But I am! Most dresses are cut for people with curves! I don’t-“

“Yes you do!”

Korra groaned in frustration. She’s worn dresses before, she didn’t hate them. It was simply that she really thought they didn’t suit her body. And there was no way she was going to wear something that she thought didn’t fit her physique to her one big day.

“Please,” Bolin dragged out, bringing out his best puppy dog eyes. “Just one. And then I guess we can get you fitted for a tux. I guess”.

“Dresses seriously don’t fit me well. I’m not doing it,” she huffed.

“Okay, well, maybe it’s cause you went shopping alone and didn’t let the seamstress actually help you find one that fits you”.

“You’ve seen me in a dress before! It doesn’t work”.

Bolin held a single finger up. “Let the seamstress find you a dress that works for you, try it on, and if you hate then I won’t pester you about it again. Just one. That’s it”.

“Why did I even ask you to come with me?” Korra grumbled. “Fine. One. That’s all you get out of this”.

“You asked me because Opal is busy with Asami, Asami can’t be here for this, you’re still refusing to talk to Kuv, you were too scared to ask Pema for some reason, and then you said-“

“Okay! I get it!” Korra grabbed his arm and all but drug him inside.

And that’s how she found herself standing in a fitting room, navy blue gown draped over her arm. With a sigh, she hung the dress on a hook and began getting undressed. Bolin’s voice slightly startled her from the other side of the door.

“So..” he started, somewhat nervously, “how have you been since..?”

“It’s been nearly three months, Bo. We talked about it. A lot. I’m fine, she’s fine. And it wasn’t even really a fight”. Her eyes flicked between her body in the mirror and the hanging dress. “It was just a really bad PTSD attack for some reason. Like, seriously? Thunder? I’ve never had a reaction like that during a storm. Ever”.

“Well.. um.. have you been overly, uh, stressed?”

“Huh?” With a quiet sigh she took the dress off the hanger. “Why?”

“I mean.. well.. I heard stress can trigger some of that stuff a bit more and be more intense. So I just thought.. I dunno. Maybe if you’re overly stressed, the storm just.. I dunno”.

Korra bit her lip as she stepped into the dress and began to pull it on. Wearing a skirt? She could make it work. A dress? This wasn’t going to go well. 

“I guess I’ve been a little more stressed than usual. The press hadn’t exactly been the best right after we got engaged. Personal questions and all that. We’re good though. I haven’t had a huge meltdown since, so that’s good. I mean, yeah, I still feel terrible for drawing back like that but she keeps saying that it’s okay. That it wasn’t me. That she knew I’d never hurt her. Sometimes I wonder how she’s not... scared of me”.

“She’s not scared of you cause of what you just said. Asami knows you’d never hurt her like that. And she loves you so- Korra? You okay?” He stopped and asked when he heard a muffled sniffle.

“I-I’m okay,” Korra managed, blinking away the tears from seeing herself in the mirrors surrounding her.

Never had she thought there would be a dress that actually worked for her body. The seamstress definitely didn’t find anything less than the best for her. It hugged her in almost all the right places, almost accentuating the curves she did have. 

She let herself look over the figure in the mirror again. The dress scooped low down her back, coming to a gentle stop at the small of her back. A trace of a smile came to her face noticing a decent portion of her tattoo was visible. It was a halter top and, thankfully, the neckline fell to just below her collarbones. There was no way she could do a high neck dress.

_ It’ll need to be tailored a bit. But I don’t hate it? _

“Korra? Um. You okay in there?”

She quickly wiped the tears out of her eyes and cracked the door open. “You say nothing. I mean it,” she said in a hushed tone before stepping out of the dressing room. 

Bolin nearly had to stop his jaw from dropping. “And you said dresses don’t work on you. So, ya gonna get it?”

“I.. don’t know. I need to think about it”. 

She bit her lip as she stepped back into the dressing room to change back into her clothes. But not before she snapped a couple pictures to show her mom. Sure, the dress needed some tailoring to fit her how it should. But she didn’t hate it. And now she was torn between a dress or a tux for the wedding. Something she didn’t think would have been a possibility.

_ Spirits, I actually have to figure this one out. And soon. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is trouble brewing in the distance??  
> Is Korra gonna pick the dress or opt for a tux???  
> But like. I’m so ready to write the wedding, guys! 
> 
> More playlist songs? Yup:
> 
> Personal Hell- Kim Petras  
> wipe your tears- Halsey  
> Lighthouse- G.R.L.  
> I’m A Mess- Bebe Rexha  
> So Am I- Ava Max  
> Zombie- Bad Wolves  
> Cry- Ashnikko, Grimes  
> Still Learning- Halsey


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Decisions, decisions, decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m gonna try my best for another chapter this weekend, but I’m not gonna make it a promise. Vacation is coming and we still gotta finish getting ready for it, plus my mental health has been shot lately and I’ve been doing nothing but going to work and sleeping it seems.. but I’m safe, so don’t worry about me too much.
> 
> Anyhow, enjoy?

“You know it’s your choice, dear. It’s your big day and you can wear whatever would make you the most comfortable”.

“Mom, I know!” Korra let out a mildly frustrated groan. “But a dress? Spirits, I never once thought I’d be able to do it. I’d have forced myself to if I was getting married to a guy, cause it would have been weird otherwise, but I’m not! What would Asami think?”

“As much as she loves you,” Senna’s sweet, calming voice came through the phone, “she’ll find you beautiful no matter what”.

Korra rubbed her face with her free hand. Her mother wasn’t exactly helping her come any closer to a decision. 

“And just so you know,” her mom continued, “the dress looks beautiful on you”.

She could feel her face grow warmer at Senna’s words. Rarely did she ever feel particularly attractive in that sense. 

“Well, uh, when do you want to come up and do.. this? The mother of the bride is supposed to help with this- fuck!”

“Language, young lady!”

“Sorry, mom. I just... Asami..” her voice fell quiet, almost seemingly lost.

She mentally kicked herself over and over for not considering the stupidly simple fact that Asami didn’t have parents to be there. Her mom was dead and her father was in prison. 

_ Stupid. Stupid. Stupid fucking moron. Spirits, I’m a fucking idiot. Damn it. _

“I’m sure you two can-“

“Mom! I have dad and you! She doesn’t have.. anyone. Why didn’t I even think about that?!”

Korra was growing more and more frustrated with herself. She had so much that Asami didn’t, things that slipped her mind far too often.

“Sweetie, it’s not something she really talks about much. We can all figure something out for her”.

_ Oh, yeah. That’ll be fun to bring up. Hey, babe, I know you don’t have parents to be at our wedding so how do you want to do this? Smart, Korra. Real smart. _

“Yeah.. something like that. I’m gonna go and make her some dinner. Sure she’s had a long day at work.. love you”.

Korra ended the call and put her head in her hands. This was suddenly one part of the wedding she didn’t want to have to talk about or bring up. A low, frustrated groan left her and Naga perked her ears and wandered over to her owner.

“I’m fine, Naga.. I just don’t know what to do. Whatcha say we get ‘Sami some dinner ready, hm?” She stood and wandered into the kitchen, Naga at her heels.

She dismissed the chef, insisting that she wanted to make her fiancé dinner tonight. The woman offered to help, but Korra was set that she wanted to do something, anything, to clear her mind. She at least let the chef gather up the ingredients, not wanting to be rude. 

Seal steak and rice noodles is what Korra had planned. Just like her mom would make for her if she was having a bad day. Only it would have been seaweed noodles, but she didn’t want to force Asami into a full Southern meal. So rice noodles it was.

She tossed Naga a chunk of the seal before starting to cook the other two steaks. With a soft sigh, Korra let her mind wander. She was definitely excited to finally marry Asami. It was something that was supposed to happen years ago. She couldn’t help but think that maybe she would have been more aware of the parent situation then. 

The more her mind wandered to the ‘what ifs’ of then and even now, the worse she started to feel. 

_ How could I be so forgetful? Inconsiderate? I’m such a fucking idiot. Maybe we could just go to the court and sign the papers and not even worry about a ceremony. _

A hiss tore through her lips as she accidentally cut her finger while cutting up some vegetables after getting the rest of the food on plates. She stuck the wound into her mouth and rummaged around for a bandage, her mind still sending her lower and lower.

_ I’m seriously such a fucking was- _

“It smells amazing in here, love. I wasn’t expecting you to cook dinner tonight,” Asami said, wrapping her arms around Korra from behind. “And what did you do to your finger?”

A small groan left her as she took her finger from her mouth and put a bandage on. “Cut it”.

“Well, yes. I can see that. You’re usually much more careful in the kitchen”.

“I have a lot on my mind is all. Got distracted, wasn’t paying attention”.

The dismissive and slightly hallow tone didn’t go unnoticed by Asami. Nor did the way Korra tried to get out of her embrace, her response being to hold her just a little tighter. 

“What’s going on, Kor?” she asked softly. “What has you so worked up?”

“I’m just in my head, okay? It’s.. I dunno. Just a bad day”.

Asami felt warm hands rest on hers. “The wedding?”

Korra hung her head slightly. Sometimes she really hated how her fiancé could just read her mind. 

“Listen, sweetheart, I know we haven’t talked about it a whole lot. If you wanted to talk about it, all you have to do is say so. It’s just as much your wedding as it is mine”.

“I- you-“ Korra let out a huff, trying to find something to say. “Okay, yeah. I do want to talk about it more. But.. it’s not just that”.

Asami glanced down at the soft whine that came from Naga. “Getting dark again?”

“Yeah”. It was just barely above a whisper.

“Well, let’s talk over dinner okay? I wouldn’t want your hard work to get cold,” she said, moving her arms from around Korra and giving her shoulder a soft kiss.

Asami finished cutting the vegetables and added them to the plates before taking one. She followed Korra to the dining room after she had taken the other plate. 

“I’ll be right back,” she said as Korra sat and put her own plate on the table.

Korra ran her fingers through the fur at Naga’s neck as she waited. “Why am I like this?”

Asami returned a few moments later, a couple of glasses and a bottle of wine in hand. She set a glass down next to Korra’s plate and poured some of the wine in, giving the top of her head a kiss before doing the same with her own.

They both started their meal in silence. At least Korra was still willing to try to eat at this point. Asami hated seeing the depression set in, the vibrancy of the eyes she loved to look into missing. 

“What do you need to talk about?”

“Just...” Korra ran a hand through her hair. “Y-you don’t have any family to be there, ‘Sami. I do. It’s not fair. And-“

“It’s fine, Kor. I more or less grew up without my mom and I never really expected my dad to do much for a wedding when that time was to come around for me. Especially since my mom was gone. It was never really a thought growing up or when I would be in a relationship”.

“It’s still not fair,” she whispered, returning to her food. Even if she wasn’t particularly hungry, she at least wanted to try.

“Kor-“

“I didn’t even think about that one kinda big topic! I have my mom to help with a dress or whatever and yours.. spirits, I’m seriously the worst. How the fuck could I forget something like that?!”

Asami could see the start of tears welling in Korra’s eyes. She didn’t know what else to say to ease her mind. Of course she still wished her mom was around to see this moment of her life, but she had accepted the situation a long time ago. As for her father, he wasn’t dead, but as far as she was concerned, he wasn’t much of a father anyhow. Asami had plenty of time to come to terms with not having parents for big moments like this. Except, Korra seemed to be forgetting something she had told her years ago.

“They’re always with us. My mom is always with me, Kor. I recall a beautiful woman telling me that at one time. So.. she’ll be at the wedding in her own way”.

“I’m not beautiful,” Korra grumbled, stabbing a piece of carrot with her fork.

Asami’s face fell slightly. Korra had never been so blunt about the topic. They would usually argue who looked better, who was clearly more beautiful, who loved who more. There was no joking around, no playful arguments. Not even an eye roll from her.

“I love you”.

“I love you too, ‘Sami”.

____________

The rest of their dinner had been quiet. Asami had finally gotten her to smile at least a little bit with the update on construction of the cultural center. At least that was going to plan. Unfortunately, Korra’s mood was anything but planned. 

And now here they were in bed, Korra’s quiet sniffles filling the silence of the room. She had suddenly lost all motivation to actually get ready for bed about halfway through getting dressed. As far as she got was pulling on a pair of shorts before giving up and laying down. 

Asami wasn’t sure when or why her fiancé had started crying. And she only really found out when Korra couldn’t hide the sniffles any longer. Propped up on her elbow, she ran her other hand along her spine.

“Talk to me, Kor. I’m not a mind reader”.

“I dunno. Depression just sucks. Everything I’ve said or done wrong just slaps me in the face and then it won’t stop and..” she took a shaky breath, “.. I’m not good enough. I’m just not enough”.

“You are more than enough,” she told her and began softly tracing her tattoo. “Do you know how happy you make me? How much of.. an inspiration you are? Korra, everything you’ve been through.. it would have destroyed most people and yet, here you are. You’ve overcome so much and came through the other side stronger”.

“Okay, but it still doesn’t change everything I’ve done. The drug use, the way I used to drink, cheating on you all those years ago.. Asami, I hurt you so bad. And now I forgot about your parents.. I’m seriously the worst”.

“It might not change the past, but you’ve changed for the better. You’re clean now, you control your drinking, and we’re past all that pain,” Asami ran her hand up her back to play with the ends of Korra’s hair. “Sweetheart, we’re getting married in less than a year. I wouldn’t change anything, unless it would mean we got to do this sooner. I love you”.

“I love you too”. Korra brought a hand up and wiped the tears from her face. She really hated the low swings. Her mind could still be a very dark place at times.

“Well.. are you going to do it?”

“Do what exactly?”

“Wear a dress”.

Korra let out a nervous chuckle. “I.. I, uh, don’t really know yet. There was one I kinda liked but..”

“But?”

She turned her head and groaned into the pillow. “I don’t know! What do you think?”

“I think you should wear whatever is going to make you comfortable and not stressed. It’s your day too,” Asami comforted and kissed the side of her head, cuddling up close.

_____________

Korra couldn’t sleep. Again. She was too warm and then too cold if she moved from under the blanket at all. Again. This had to be the third night in a row where she just couldn’t get to or stay asleep. 

She rolled over to face Asami yet again. Reaching a hand up, Korra delicately traced her fiancé’s sleeping face. Over her cheek, down the bridge of her nose, along her lips. Even without makeup, she found Asami drop dead gorgeous. Her fingers found her jaw, running her fingers along it before tenderly trailing her neck. Korra stopped her movements at the top of the necklace.

Korra felt a shift in her chest and furrowed her brow at the feeling. They had already talked about the exchange they would do at the alter. Korra would give her a ring and Asami would provide a necklace. It would be a further expansion on what they had already done for engagement and blending their own traditions into one. Her breath caught as soon as she tentatively stuck her finger under the strip of leather. It wasn’t tight or constricting in any way, but it finally hit that there would be a similar piece around her own neck.

Giving the tip of Asami’s nose a kiss, Korra let out a shaky breath. 

_ I’ll be okay. Damn it. Another thing I wasn’t thinking about.. guess it’s another talk we have to have. _

Not wanting to risk waking the sleeping woman next to her, she decided to get out of bed. Korra wrote a quick note and left it on her pillow. Just in case. After placing a soft kiss to Asami’s cheek, she left the bedroom and went into the room next to Asami’s office and flicked the light on.

It was just a spare room the two had flipped and made into another office space. At first Korra wasn’t sure if she even wanted a home office, but came to appreciate it. She sat at her desk and pulled a few papers in front of her. 

_ Still don’t know why the mayor needs my opinion on the roads around here.. that’s Asami’s thing. _

Korra tried to wrap her head around the technicalities. A road was a road. Nothing fancy needed to be put in for the cultural center. The numbers and jargon made little sense. She still never figured out how Asami could do this kind of thing before noon.

The next thing she was aware of was a gentle hand on her shoulder and the smell of coffee. A soft hum left her as she cracked an eye open with a smile.

“Mornin’, beautiful”.

“Oh, shush. Should I be worried about this?”

“Huh? About what?” She asked while sitting up and stretching.

“This, Kor,” Asami told her, gesturing between the desk and Korra. “You know falling asleep at desks is kinda my thing.”

“I couldn’t sleep and didn’t want to wake you up from me tossing and turning all night. I really didn’t expect to fall asleep here”.

Asami stayed quiet for a moment. She had a feeling Korra’s sleepless nights were likely coming from her parents arriving in a couple weeks. It seemed the closer the wedding got, the more stress came about. 

Asami never wanted a large wedding, but resigned given her status. And with Korra, it was almost a given as to how public it was going to be. It was starting to feel as though they didn’t have a huge choice in the matter. It would just be another thing they would have to figure out.

“Does this have to do with your parents?”

“What?” Korra took a drink from the coffee Asami had brought to her. “Not really, no. I mean.. I guess it’s part of it. Just.. do we have to have a huge wedding? If you want to, that’s fine. I can deal with that. It’ll be a decent trade off-“

“I don’t want a big wedding, love. I never really have, but gave up on that idea given my status in life. And then you.. you’re just as high profile as I am, so I guess we don’t have a choice”.

Korra’s lips formed into a pout as she looked up into her favorite green eyes. She didn’t want a big or public wedding either. With being a high profile fighter and chief, and Asami being an extremely high profile CEO, Korra hated to admit that maybe Asami was right. They didn’t have much of a choice. Maybe they could at least try for something smaller. This was their day, not everyone else’s. But she still wanted a fair enough trade off for the whole parent situation.

“Oh, sweetheart, what’s that pout for?” Asami teased softly, placing a tender kiss to her bottom lip.

“I’m trying to make up for my forgetfulness, okay?”

“We can figure something out for me. It’s really not a huge deal, Kor. I already told you that I resigned to the fact I wouldn’t have family at my wedding a long time ago. At least.. not blood family”.

“What?” Korra creased her brow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If there’s anything I’ve come to learn from my mom passing and my father being, well, who he is.. it’s that sometimes family isn’t blood. Sometimes, you actually get to choose family. Don’t stress yourself out about it, Korra. We’ll get it figured out”.

She let out a soft hum in acknowledgment and took another drink of her coffee. Pulled out of her head, she suddenly remembered the paperwork she fell asleep on. Korra set her mug down and gathered the few sheets of paper.

“So, I’m not sure if this got mislabeled or not, but I don’t do roads,” Korra said and have the papers to Asami. “I don’t mean to change the subject but-“

Asami took the papers and let out a soft laugh. “Are you actually cleaning up your desk?”

“No! It’s organized”.

“Sweetheart”.

“It is. I know where everything is”.

“You have got to be the most organized, disorganized person I know”. She couldn’t help but chuckle at the small pout that came to Korra’s face as she crossed her arms. Asami would never not find that pout adorable. “Come on, love. Enough work for now. Let’s go get our breakfast”.

“That’s not normal coming from you. You feeling okay?” Korra asked as she stood and put the back of her hand to Asami’s forehead.

_____________

“Senna,” Asami chuckled, “this really isn’t necessary. I have Opal that I can shop with”.

“Nonsense. You deserve this, dear,” Senna said, handing her a couple dresses. “Korra has her father today”.

“I.. I appreciate it. She’s still pretty upset about the whole parent situation. No matter what I tell her, she still wants a trade off for it. I’ve never been bothered by it all since my father went to prison, regardless of who I was to marry or when”.

Asami took the dresses and went into the dressing room. After hanging the two dresses on a hook, she began to get undressed.

“That sounds like Korra. You didn’t hear this from me, but the betrothal necklace you’re providing for her will be enough of a trade off”. Senna sat in one of the provided chairs to wait for Asami to change.

“What do you mean?” She asked as she raised her eyebrow at one of the dresses.

_ Absolutely not. Way too much tulle. _

“It’s.. not exactly a necklace on a chain, dear. Consider yours.....”

Asami’s mind suddenly went numb. Senna was still talking on the other side of the door, but the words she was saying were lost on her. She looked herself in the mirror, eyes locking onto her necklace. It wasn’t tight by any means, but the realization hit her harder than she expected. 

_ Of course. Damn it, Sato, of course you’d look over that. _

Shaking her mind off of the sudden realization, deciding she would talk to Korra about it later, she turned her attention to the other dress. It, again, wasn’t what she had in mind. She put it on nonetheless to entertain Senna.

The dress was simple. Just a basic fitted white dress with a V-style neckline, some lace filling the cut. It still looked nice, just not what Asami was wanting. She still stepped out of the dressing room to show her soon to be mother-in-law. 

“It looks great, but it’s not the one, is it?”

Asami let out a soft laugh and couldn’t help but wonder if Senna also had a specific image for her. At least nothing was said about her not trying on the other one, like they both knew it simply wouldn’t work.

“No, it’s not. In a different color, I’d wear it to a formal event. Did the seamstress find something else?” She asked when she noticed the dress over the back of the chair next to Korra’s mother.

“She did. And something is telling me it might be just what you’re looking for,” Senna told her, standing and picking up the dress to hand it to Asami.

After taking it, she went back into the fitting room and quickly changed dresses. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Seeing it on the hanger, it looked perfect. Opening her eyes a gasp left her and she brought her hands to her mouth, happy tears starting to fall.

Standing in the mirror was a woman in a strapless white A-line gown with a sweetheart neckline. Intricate lace covered her cleavage and the bodice of the dress. A deep V-cut went from her shoulder blades to the middle of her back and it hugged her waist and hips nearly perfectly. There were some alterations she would like to make, but otherwise, it was perfect.

“S-Senna! I.. I think- no.. I know this is it”. She felt frozen in place, just staring at herself.

“Well, let’s see it, dear”.

Asami came from the dressing room slowly, still in shock. This was happening and it was going to be perfect. She couldn’t stop the tears running down her face no matter how much she wiped them away. And Senna’s own tears of happiness didn’t go unnoticed.

“Asami, it’s perfect”.

_______________

Korra stood in a dressing room at a shop on the other end of the block from where her fiancé was. Hanging on one side of her was the dress she would choose if she wore one, on the other was a tux. She decided to try the dress on again for Tonraq just so she had another opinion.

“Well, am I going to get to see you in either option?”

“Yes, dad. I’m just.. deciding”.

After a few more moments, she decided to start with the dress. It would just be easier to put the wrap back on for the tux and then be able to change back into her clothes after without having to deal with it again. After getting it on, she looked herself in the mirror and couldn’t help but wonder why she actually didn’t hate it before stepping out for her dad to see.

“It looks amazing, kiddo,” Tonraq said with a smile. Neither was going to bring up the tears in his eyes. “So..”

“Tux time?”

“Go on and try it”.

Korra quickly went back in and got out of the dress. She was originally going to go with a black suit and blue vest and tie, but changed her mind for white. And after putting it on, she was struck with just how hard of a decision this was going to be. Minor tailoring would make the jacket and pants fit a little better, but the satin vest and tie under the white nearly sold it right then and there. Simple, yet elegant.

“Have you made a decision?” Tonraq asked after Korra came from the dressing room. 

“I.. no. I really like both but-“

Korra was suddenly pulled into a tight hug by her father. She didn’t hesitate to return the gesture, sighing softly into his chest.

“My little girl..” he started, voice watery, “.. getting married in a few months. Korra, you’ve grown up to be such an amazing young woman. Your life hasn’t been easy, but you’ve overcome so much”.

“Dad..” it was barely a whisper as tears welled up in eyes.

“You’re so strong, Korra. Asami is a very lucky woman. Take care of her”.

All Korra could do was nod against his chest. If she needed to, she would lay down her life for the other woman. She would protect and take care of Asami no matter what, forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got 2 for team dress and 2 for team tux for our lovely Korra so far!


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Work sucks, but it sucks even more when there’s a wedding coming up and your other living is as a fighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I did manage to get a chapter out this weekend! Might try to push for another, but it’ll be a huge maybe. 
> 
> But! I tried to add a bit more humor into this, so I hope it at least gets a smile out of you.

Korra just wanted to smash her head into a wall. The closer the wedding got, it seemed the busier both her and Asami were. Both were spending more and more time in their offices, Asami also having late nights at work. If she wasn’t in her office, she was down with the rest of her engineers working on various projects. Korra had also been busy training for one last fight before the wedding if she wasn’t busy with various trade deals and dealing with near constant phone calls and emails from the elders, her father, or the generals of the tribe. 

It was really starting to feel like they hadn’t seen each other in weeks. Dinners have been cancelled or changed into something quick and easy. Some nights one of them would end up going to bed alone. Life seemed to have it out for the two of them. If life didn’t want them to see much of each other, Korra was about to give it a piece of her mind. She was getting real tired of only getting to see and spend time with her fiancé a couple hours out of a day, usually when they woke up and then again right before sleep took them both with swiftness.

Korra quickly made a decision and picked up her phone to call Tonraq.

“Chief Tonraq”.

“Dad. I need you to take my calls for the rest of the day”.

“Is everything okay, Korra?” His voice held clear concern.

“Yeah. I’m fine. It’s just.. I feel like I haven’t seen much of Asami this past month since you and mom went home. We’ve barely had a decent dinner together. I miss her, dad. I know it’s dumb considering we live together, but-“

She could hear her dad laugh through the phone. “It’s not dumb, kiddo. Go on, spend time with her. I have no problem covering for you”.

“Thanks, dad. You’re really the best”.

Korra returned the phone to the receiver and hit a few buttons to make sure all calls to her would be transferred to her father. After closing her laptop, she stood and stretched. Her body still wasn’t used to sitting in an office all day.

What Korra didn’t know is that Asami had called in to take the day off. She was also starting to really miss her, but knew Korra had a lot to do as a chief. Asami had chosen to go to her workshop to distract herself and to get a start on Korra’s necklace. Tonraq had brought a few decent sized chunks of stone for her to pick from. A chuckle left her at the way it seemed Korra’s parents just knew, somehow, her choices with so many things.

As she started bending some metal to make a clasp, a soft knock came from the door before it opened. Sparing a glance over her shoulder, she saw Korra enter and close the door.

“What’re you doing in here, sweetheart? Lunch break?”

“No. I.. my dad said he’d cover for me the rest of the day”.

A worried expression settled on Asami’s face. “Are you feeling okay? You normally power through the stress of doing what you have to do before you go workout”.

“I’m skipping my workout too. Asami-“

She stood and approached Korra. Her fiancé had one last fight before the wedding. Skipping a workout was definitely out of the ordinary.

“What’s wrong, love? You never skip”.

“I miss you. A lot. Can we just spend the rest of the day together? Or.. or do you gotta get back to work soon?” Korra wrapped her arms around Asami’s waist and buried her face into the side of her neck.

“I took the day off. I miss you too, but I figured you had a lot to do and didn’t want to bother you. Are you sure you’re not missing out on something really important?”

“The only thing I’m missing out on that’s really important is you”.

Asami pulled Korra closer feeling her heart swell. She kept one hand on her back and moved the other to stroke her hair. She really missed moments like this. They’ve been so exhausted at night they almost fell asleep instantly, rarely having the energy to talk and cuddle before getting to sleep. But of course this moment had to be interrupted by Asami’s phone ringing.

After Asami gave her forehead a kiss and an apologetic smile, Korra watched as she made her way back to the work table to answer the damn thing. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. It seemed like Asami’s employees wouldn’t leave her alone on a day off. With a sad sigh, Korra turned to leave. Until she heard a gasp from her fiancé.

“What?!”

Pause.

“Spirits, Opal! Congratulations!”

During a longer pause in conversation, Korra turned back around and slowly made her way over to Asami. 

_ At least it’s Opal and not someone trying to absolutely ruin our day together. _

“I can’t believe it. It’s about time. I’m so happy for you two”.

Another pause.

“Oh, not much. Korra and I are just going to spend the day together. Work’s been hectic for both of us and we haven’t gotten to see much of each other for a few weeks, so we both took today off”.

Pause.

“That would be great. I’ll talk to her and we can all work something out. I’ll let you know. Congrats again, hun. I’ll talk to you later”.

Asami set her phone back on the table with a smile.

“So, what was that all about?” Korra asked, pulling herself to sit on the work table.

“They’re finally going to have a baby, Kor!”

“What?! Damn. It’s about time, honestly. When’s she due?”

Asami stepped in between Korra’s legs, hands at her waist. “A few months after our wedding. Speaking of, have you made your decision yet?”

“Pfft. As if. They’re both great options and I’m probably going to try them both on at least ten more times,” Korra chuckled. “How’s my necklace coming?”

“It’s coming along pretty well. I was just in here making the clasps for it”.

Korra let out a hum of acknowledgment while reaching out and running her fingers over the stone of Asami’s. There was still a part of her that couldn’t believe this was actually happening, that she wasn’t still in the hospital drugged up and having the best dream.

“Kor? There’s.. something I wanted to be sure of”. She really didn’t mean for her voice to sound so nervous.

“Yeah, of course. Anything you need”, she said calmly, catching the nervousness in Asami’s voice.

“Um.. the leather piece. I can put the stone on a chain if you’d like instead. I just wanted to be sure so I can finish it for you. Y-you okay?” The question came as there was a slight change in the grip on her sides where Korra had been holding her. 

“I’m.. yeah. I’m okay. Just..” Korra let out a soft sigh and relaxed her hands again, pulling Asami as close as the table would allow. “It’s something I wanted to bring up as well. I want the leather, ‘Sami. I’m just.. nervous about it, ya know?”

“I know,” Asami said softly, moving her hands from Korra’s waist to drape her arms over her shoulders. “That’s why I wanted to talk about it. Also, how’d you know what size to make mine? Were you silently wrapping your hands around my neck while I was sleeping?”

Korra laughed at that. “No! I would never do that. Then again.. I just might be a serial killer waiting for the right time to take out the world famous CEO, Asami Sato”.

“I must be in some real danger then, considering you’ve already taken me out many times,” Asami laughed as well. 

“I’m your worst nightmare, Sato”. Korra wrapped her legs around Asami’s hips and bent forward to attack her cheeks and neck with firm, yet gentle kisses.

Asami couldn’t help but laugh. Korra was a dork, but she was her dork and wouldn’t change it for anything.

“But in all seriousness,” Korra started, pulling away slightly but keeping her legs around Asami, “it’s not that hard to use one of your button downs with the top button closed to get the measurement”.

“Oh, so now you’re outsmarting me? That’s not very nice. But is that what you’d like me to do with yours?”

“No. I mean.. yours isn’t exactly a surprise and I’m right here so if you want.. you can measure me”.

“Are.. Korra, are you sure?” Asami moved her hands to hold Korra’s face gently.

“Yeah. I’m sure. It’s.. really the only way I can think of to be sure it’s not too tight or too loose”. She rested her hands over Asami’s.

After a small, yet nervous nod and giving Korra a quick kiss, she stepped back from between her legs. Asami grabbed the leather strip from next to the vise she had been working with. Once she turned back to Korra, she noticed that she already had her back turned. Asami approached her slowly and placed a hand on her back.

“You don’t have to do this, you know. I can always use one of your shirts and add an inch or so”.

“I’ll be okay, babe. Besides.. I never have the top button done. It’s usually too.. tight”.

“Okay. Just tell me if it’s too tight or too loose,” Asami said calmly, gently placing the leather piece against Korra’s throat. “And you’re sure about this?”

“Yeah. I trust you”. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves about the situation before continuing, “go ahead”.

Korra felt Asami wrap the strip around her neck, saying something about starting looser and slowly tightening until she told her to stop or to tell her to stop completely if she couldn’t handle it. She swallowed hard as Asami began to pull the strip tighter.

_ I trust her. I can do this. It’s just leather. It’s not his hand. I can do this. She won’t hurt me. _

She accidentally let Asami pull it a little too tight for a moment as she was calming herself down. Korra’s hands quickly went behind her, grabbing at the sides of Asami’s pants. 

Asami quickly loosened the strip again. “It’s okay, love. I’m sorry”.

“No,” Korra managed after taking a deep breath. “Don’t be. I was just keeping myself calm and didn’t realize how tight it had gotten. Go ahead again”.

This time Korra kept her focus on the strip around her throat. She forced her breathing to remain level as the strip continued to slowly get tighter.

“Okay. That’s good, babe”. She felt Asami make a mark on the leather to be cut and then the strip being removed from her neck.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Asami asked as Korra leaned forward, bracing her hands on top of the table.

“Y-yeah. I’m jus- I need a moment,” Korra admitted with a watery voice. She was in shock that she didn’t freak out at all. Save for that one brief moment.

“Of course, sweetheart. Take as long as you need. I’ll be at the vise if you need me, okay?” Asami gently rubbed Korra’s back. “I love you. And I’m proud of you for that”.

Korra nodded before responding, “okay. Thanks, babe. I love you”.

Asami watched from her seat at the vise as Korra sat on another stool and rested her head on her arms on the table. Korra was strong and fighting her demons every day. Some were worse than others, but for now, she was okay and didn’t completely freak out. Asami couldn’t help but smile before turning her attention back to the metal in front of her.

________________

Korra snapped her head up at the sound of the locker room door opening and closing. Pema had already gotten her set to fight and left to go get her medical equipment ready. She knew Asami was going to stop in before getting her seat and figured she decided to stop by a little early. Her face fell as Kuvira came around the corner instead.

“What are you doing here?”

“To tell you good luck. And congrats with Asami. I’ve been wanting to tell you, but you never wanted to talk”.

“So you corner me in the locker room? Nice”. She rolled her eyes and started to gather her bag.

“Listen, I really am sorry about everything before. And I’m glad you two worked through everything”.

Korra sat on the bench with a heavy sigh. “Yeah. Me too. And thanks”.

The two stayed in an awkward silence for a few moments before Kuvira turned to leave. She was stopped by her old friend’s voice.

“Kuv? I’m, uh, sorry for how I’ve been treating you. It’s just that things were so bad between us before and I really didn’t know how to talk to you. Not without thinking of that night..”

She turned back around to see Korra had stood back up and was rubbing the back of her neck. Old habits die hard, after all. 

“Apology accepted, Korra. I hope we can be as close as we once were someday. Without anything stupid happening”. She held out her hand, mildly shocked Korra took it for a shake.

“Nothing stupid or I’ll literally beat the fuck out of you”.

“That’s only fair,” Kuvira let out a soft chuckle.

“How are things with, uh, Junior?”

“Please, call him Baatar. But.. things are going really well. I never thought..” her words stopped at the sound of the door opening and closing.

“Yeah. Me either. Two different things, but I know what you mean”. A smile broke across her face as Asami rounded the corner. “Hey, babe”.

“It’s about damn time you two started talking again. Kuvira”. Asami gave a slight nod in greeting.

“Would you two like some privacy?”

“You don’t have to. Just came by to say good luck and be safe to this one,” she said pulling Korra into a hug.

“Oh, so now I’m ‘this one’? Rude,” Korra chuckled, returning the hug and nuzzling her face to the side of Asami’s neck.

“Still as gross as ever, I see”.

“Coming from the one who’s dating a guy,” Korra shot back.

“Sweetheart, you’re bi”.

“Not anymore! I got you and that’s that”.

“Korra, that’s not how that works”.

“Shut it, Kuv. The only dick I ever want from now on is the one in the top drawer”.

“Spirits, Kor..” Asami shook her head slightly before giving her a quick kiss. “You’re such a dork. But at least you’re mine. Ready to give her hell?”

“You know it”.

After giving Kuvira a fist bump and Asami another kiss, she watched as the two left the locker room. With a soft sigh and smile on her face, she gathered the last of her things into her bag after pulling her gloves on. Korra gave the ring sitting on top a final glance that only made her smile grow before zipping the bag closed and slinging it over her shoulder to head to the cage.

_ One last fight before the wedding. I got this in the bag. She’s just someone I trained with back home, shouldn’t be too hard. _

Korra dropped her bag off next to Pema before getting into the cage and having it locked behind her. 

“Are you good to go, dear?” 

“Sure am,” she said and looked up to catch Asami’s eyes already looking to hers. She flashed a crooked smile before putting her mouth guard in and turning to face her opponent.

As Korra locked eyes with the other woman, something felt off. Terribly off. Somehow this fight felt like it was going to be much, much harder than previously thought. Shaking the feeling off, she met her and the ref in the middle. After the typical rules and regulations were given, Korra raised her gloves and waited. And waited.

The other fighter just shook her head and walked back to her corner. It left Korra confused as she dropped her hands and made her way back to her own.

_ Weird as fuck. She always touches gloves. _

Giving her shoulders a final roll, she nodded to the ref that she was ready and brought her hands up. The bell rang and they both met in the middle. Korra ducked to miss the first swing taken at her, only to pop up and grab the woman’s arm to toss her over her shoulder. 

_ Okay? This is going to be over quick. That was quite the rookie mistake. What the hell is wrong with you? _

Korra didn’t want to ground and pound her to unconsciousness so early in the match, so she let her get back to her feet. She gave her a look that could only be seen as ‘what the fuck is wrong?’ as she shuffled back to create more distance to size the other woman up. And try to figure out why she was already performing so poorly.

Asami leaned over to Kuvira, confusion on her face. “What’s going on? Korra was saying she was a decent fighter”.

“I don’t really know. I’ve fought her in the past and she’s actually pretty good. Something is... off”. Kuvira furrowed her brow, keeping her eyes on the other woman to figure out what wasn’t right.

Asami watched as Korra landed a few punches to the woman’s torso and face, fully knowing they were pulled. It’s like her opponent wasn’t even trying. 

The gears in her brain stopped turning, trying to figure out what was going on, when she heard a whistle blow. Turning her full attention back to the two women in the cage she saw Korra had taken her mouth guard out and was very clearly yelling something. The other woman dismissed whatever it was Korra was yelling about. She shook her head and put her mouth guard back in as the whistle blew again.

Realization hit Korra. Hard. And in the stomach. Her eyes grew wide with disbelief, trying not to show just how bad the hit hurt.

_ Her gloves are packed?! What?! _

She saw a smirk form around the mouth guard in front of her. The woman knew that Korra knew exactly what was happening. Before Korra could even think to get her own guard out and stop the fight, she had to dodge a fist aimed at her face. She knew this was going to be a one round match. Either she wins, she loses, or at the end of the first round she calls the cheat.

As the round progressed, she seemed to be silently communicating with Kuvira whenever she got the split moments to lock eyes with her. Someone else needed to know. Kuvira could see the hint of near fear in her eyes and could occasionally see them flicking to the woman’s gloves.

Kuvira stood suddenly. She got the hint. She have Korra a quick signal with her hands, telling her to stay back and not get hit again. The several she already took were bad enough.

“What’s going- where are you going?!”

“Asami, her gloves are packed. I don’t know with what, but Korra is in actually danger right now. I need to talk to Pema and Bumi. Hang tight”.

“Kuv!”

Kuvira turned back to the cage at the way Asami’s voice sounded panicked. Korra had taken a couple more blows to the abdomen and was now under the woman who was aiming punches to her head and occasionally her chest.

“I’ll be right back,” Kuvira said, taking off at a run out of the ringside seats to get in to see Bumi and Pema. 

Just as she made it to them, the ref blew the whistle and got the other woman off of Korra. 

“Pema, you gotta get in there. Now. Her gloves were packed”.

“What?!” Pema stood quickly, grabbing her medical kit and hurrying into the ring.

“Ref! Check her gloves!” Bumi was mad. And that wasn’t something someone saw every day.

Asami made it to the small gathering in Korra’s corner. Her fiancé still wasn’t moving as Pema was clearly trying to wake her up with smelling salts.

“How bad?”

“It’s not looking all that great right now, Asami. I’ll be honest. She’s definitely going to have to go to the hospital”.

The situation hit Asami as soon as she realized the cheers and yelling of the crowd had died off. A couple doctors rushed into the ring to assist Pema. The only words she managed to catch in her haze were, ‘severe concussion, broken ribs, collapsed lung, likely more internal damage of the abdomen’.

“Hey! Where’re you going?!” Kuvira watched as Asami entered the cage and knelt down next to Korra’s head

Korra’s eyes opened slowly after a few longs moments followed by a cough and grimace of pain. “‘Sami? What’re you doing here?”

“Do you know where you are, love?”

_ At least she knows who I am. _

“Not really, no,” she admitted weakly, a tear slowly falling from the corner of her eye.

“Okay. It’s okay,” Asami attempted to calm her. “You’re going to go to the hospital and I’m going to meet you there shortly. I’ll explain everything once they allow me to see you”.

“Don’t go”.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispered and looked to Pema. 

“She’s going to be alright, dear. We stabilized her right lung as best as we could here. I’d be more worried about the concussion”.

Asami nodded slowly and looked back to her fiancé. She definitely had a broken nose and her face was bloodied and bruised. Asami grew concerned about about the possibility of any other fractures to the bones in her face. Her heart hurt worse and rage filled her as she saw the blood leaking from Korra’s ear. She gave her lips a quick kiss before standing.

“‘Sami? Babe? Where ya goin’?”

“Let the doctors take care of you, sweetheart. I’ll see you at the hospital. I love you”.

“I love you more,” she whispered, letting her eyes fall closed again.

Asami stalked over to the ‘winner’ of the match and grabbed her by the shoulder, breaking whatever conversation she was having with whoever else. As the woman spun around, Asami landed a hard right hook to the side of her face. And followed with another. And followed that with a hard left. 

Everyone stood in shock for a long moment, not sure what to do about the sudden gloves-off fight. Kuvira finally shook the shock off and broke it up.

“Okay, okay. Asami, that’s.. not what I was expecting, but that’s enough”.

Asami wiped the blood from her nose from one of the hits she took and shoved Kuvira away. She was still livid no one checked the other woman’s gloves and picked them up from the mat. After walking back over to Pema, who was cleaning up after the doctors took Korra to the ambulance, she silently grabbed a pair of clothing shears and cut the gloves open. She shook out sand and marbles onto the mat. With a glare at the ref, she tossed the gloves over her shoulder and left the cage.

“Uhhh... I’m gonna check on her. Where’s Korra’s bag?”

“By my chair, Kuv. Let me know if she has a broken nose”.

“Didn’t look like it, but I’ll make sure she’s not actually hurt”.

Kuvira quickly grabbed Korra’s bag and chased Asami down to the parking lot.

“Hey, you want me to drive?”

“It’s fine. Stupid fucking refs not paying attention or even fucking listening!”

“Okay, yeah. I’m driving. You’re way too pissed off to drive safely right now. But.. for what it’s worth.. that was really damn good, what you did back there”.

Kuvira gently pushed Asami to get into the passenger seat after throwing Korra’s bag into the backseat. She got in and adjusted the driver’s seat.

“Don’t worry, I’ll put it back. You’re just.. tall”.

“Wreck my car and you’re gonna be hurting real bad. I fucking mean it,” Asami grumbled, hooking her seatbelt.

“I wouldn’t doubt that one bit. You okay though? Not hurt or anything?” She asked, hooking her own seatbelt and starting the car.

“No, I’m fine. Just a bloody nose, maybe a bruised knuckle or two”.

Kuvira nodded and started the drive to the hospital.

______________

“I’m all good!”

“Kor, no you’re not. You’re going to have to stay the night here, if not two nights. You have a nasty concussion and broken-“

“Hey, what happened to your face? Was it Mako?! That fucking bastard!” Korra moved to get up, clearly wanting to go show the mentioned man a piece of her mind.

Asami pushed her back down onto the bed gently. “No, love. It wasn’t him. I’m okay”.

“But... but.. someone hurt you”. Korra’s voice suddenly came out small and a little watery as tears welled in her eyes.

“Sweetheart, I’m okay. Really, I am. I’m going to run home and get a few things for the next couple days while you’re here”.

“Let me come with you! Don’t leave me here alone”.

“Arguing with you is impossible when you’re drugged up, you know. You can’t come because you’re admitted here”.

“Hey! I stopped using... like.. uh... over a year ago or something like that. So no, I’m not drugged up. And why am I even admitted?” Korra’s lip jutted out in a small pout.

“Because you had a match tonight and your opponent cheated. Now you’re injured and need to be watched”. Asami sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. 

“You can do that”.

“Korra, I’m not a medical professional. And-“

“But you’re so smart. And pretty. And hot”. Her pout changed into a dreamy smile.

_ Spirits, they really have her all sorts of doped up. _

Asami couldn’t help but chuckle quietly. Korra clearly wasn’t aware how tired she sounded or how her speech seemed a little slurred. The main worries the doctors had was the concussion and wanted her on watch for at least 24-48 hours. They had reset her nose and told Asami about the bruising that would be expected. The broken ribs would take some time to heal and the collapsed lung would heal on its own after the chest tube was removed.

“Korra, you have to stay here so you get better. We have a wedding coming up”.

“Oh, yeah! We’re getting married, ‘Sami. I can’t wait. I love you”.

“I love you too, sweetheart”. Asami gave her a gentle kiss. “I’ll be back soon. Get some rest”.

“Mmm’kay. I love you. I think I already said that... whatever. I don’t think I could ever tell you enough”. Korra suddenly let out a yawn. “Guess it’s time for sleep. I love you”.

“I love you, dork. I’ll still be back soon. Even if you’re asleep”.

Korra let out a soft hum against Asami’s lips. Even if she did get beaten pretty bad in the fight, she was still going to fall asleep with a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our wedding is coming soon 😁
> 
> So far we have 6 for tux, and still 2 for the dress. 
> 
> And have a couple more songs to jam to from the playlist cause they’ve been in my head:
> 
> It’s Alright- Mother Mother  
> I Choose- Alessia Cara


	42. Chapter 42

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for all the time jumps in this one, but I needed to get to the wedding/honeymoon chapter! 
> 
> It might take a moment for me to get through it, but I hope it comes out perfect and what you all have been waiting for. 😁
> 
> A bit of a shorter chapter, but.. I hope it’s worth it.

Korra felt someone sit next to her and take her hand. She cracked an eye open and noticed Asami had come by. Everything ached and her head was pounding, but still was happy to see her. 

“Did I wake you?”

“No”. Her voice was quiet. “I’ve been awake”.

“How are you feeling?” Asami asked while rubbing the knuckles of the hand in hers.

“Honestly? Like absolute shit. My head’s killing me and everything else just hurts”.

“How much do you remember?”

“The bitch’s gloves were packed and I got the fuck beat out of me. I heard they found out and disqualified her and that I won by technicality”.

Asami noticed Korra had closed her eye again and gave her hand a squeeze. No matter how many times she watched her fight, she would always hate seeing her in pain after. This time was especially rough given what had happened. All Asami wanted to do was take her home and nurse her wounds like she had so many times before, but this was out of her hands with the severity of the injuries.

“That you did,” she whispered. “It’s good you remember what happened”.

A soft laugh left Korra. “I also heard you decided to fight her and Kuv had to stop you. Gloves off? You’re such a badass”.

“Any idea on why she would do that?” Asami didn’t really want to talk about the small fight she decided to start. She wanted to know why someone would pack their gloves.

“Not a clue. Maybe she thought it would have been the only way she could win? I mean, I’ve seen packed gloves before. Hell, I’ve even done it a few times. It’s usually something that commonly happens in the underground scene though”. Korra gave a slight shrug, opening her eyes. “On the legal side of fighting, it’s usually a last ditch effort to secure a win and it’s really hard to sneak it by officials and all that”.

Asami hummed in acknowledgment. She couldn’t fathom why someone would take the padding out of the gloves and refill it with sand or other materials. At least in the legal rings. Illegally, she could almost understand it. Anything goes in those circles. 

“You know,” Korra was continuing, “I’ve seen people actually die from this kind of thing. There was a fight I was waiting for once and the one guy loaded his gloves with rocks and glass. Other dude ended up bleeding out from a shard that poked through the material and stabbed his neck”.

“What?!” 

“Yeah.. the underground shit is pretty messy. The guy didn’t get out of injury though. His hands were fucked up from the glass poking through the other side. Packed gloves are scary things, ‘Sami. You don’t get time to even think when your opponent is packed. All you care about is trying to not get hit and hoping to take ‘em down with grappling”.

Asami leaned over and gave her forehead a kiss. “I’m just glad you’re okay. And really glad it was just sand and a couple marbles.. considering what you just told me gloves could be packed with instead. What about her?”

“Hm? I mean, she most likely did it for extra weight. And the marbles as a way to really hurt me. I’ll bet her hands are all bruised up, though. Packed gloves are a double edged sword”.

Asami shook her head. Most of the time she really hated that Korra had been involved in the illegal fights, but for now she appreciated it. It probably saved her from worse or more injuries. Maybe someday she would be more willing to hear more about that Korra, the woman she was way before they ever met. Sure, they’ve talked about some of the distant past before, but Asami would usually put a stop to those talks, not that Korra ever minded. She would get uncomfortable talking about it at times and Asami wanted to focus on whatever side of her now-fiancé was with her, so she would usually change the topic.

“You’ll have to tell me all about your glory days”. 

Korra laughed and was thrown into a brief coughing fit. After catching her breath again, she drummed her fingers against the back of Asami’s hand. “Glory days, huh? ‘Sami, you know I was a huge disaster back then. But, whatever you wanna know, I’ll try to fill in the blanks. Someday. Right now, we have a wedding to concern ourselves with”.

“That we do, sweetheart. The doctors said they want another CT scan before they clear you to go home. Possibly another MRI as well. Which means-“

“I’ll be staying another night. I kinda figured. Say, can you run down to the cafe and get me some chocolate pudding? And maybe, if the docs are even going to allow it, some coffee?” Korra gave a cheeky, hopeful smile.

“I’ll see what I can get for you,” Asami chuckled. 

______________

Thankfully Korra didn’t have to spend more than two nights in the hospital. Even as the days passed at home, she was still laying around. Mostly because Asami was making her so she could heal properly and because her fiancé knew she had a bit of a problem with following doctors’ orders. 

Even Korra knew better one of the days that she shouldn’t have been in the gym, and when Asami caught her.. well she got in trouble for it. Apparently being bored wasn’t a good enough excuse. Especially since she still had a couple broken ribs that she needed to let heal. Her doting fiancé had even threatened to tie her to a chair if she did anything like that again in the next few weeks. Now she really had no choice but to listen, knowing very well that Asami wasn’t joking. 

And now, a few days after being caught working out, Korra was fast asleep on the couch. One leg hanging off the front, the other bent and rested against the back cushions, one arm behind her head and the other draped over her stomach. The TV was on, volume low, and some random gameshow was playing. It wasn’t quite the scene Asami expected to walk in on after work. 

A small smile came to her face at the sight as she set her things down and took off her jacket and shoes. Asami sat herself between Korra’s legs, leaning against the armrest and curling her legs up next to herself. She enjoyed gameshows, so decided to stay and watch for a little while. She would whisper the answers to the questions, wrong or not. Eventually she heard a soft grunt come from beside her as Korra woke from her nap.

“You’re home?” She asked, voice still full of sleep. “Did you leave early?”

“No. I stayed a full day. How long have you been sleeping?”

“No idea. Last I looked at any clock it was about 3 or something,” she murmured and rubbed her eyes. 

“So a few hours. You feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Just bored. And you won’t let me do anything,” Korra teased. “Come lay with me?”

“Your ribs-“

Korra opened her arms with a pout. “Please? We can keep watching the gameshows”.

Asami let out a sigh. She couldn’t say no to that sweet face. “As long as you promise that if it hurts, you say something”.

“I will. Promise. Now c’mere, beautiful”.

Asami carefully situated herself on top of her, resting her head on Korra’s shoulder and bringing her hand up to rest on her chest. “You’re too cute, you know”.

“Mmm, says you,” Korra said quietly, wrapping an arm around Asami’s shoulders and the other hand over the one on her chest.

They laid like that for hours, watching gameshow after gameshow. It was finally a moment where they could relax together. Even if Korra continued to murmur incorrect answers. Quiet laughs were shared over the ridiculous answers the contestants would give at times. Neither was stressing over work or injuries or even the wedding. It was a simply perfect moment. 

“Miss Sato, there’s a call for you”.

Asami let out a sigh. Of course the butler had to ruin it. “Is it the engineering department?”

“Yes, ma’am”.

“Tell them I’ll deal with it in the morning”.

Korra gave the hand under hers a soft squeeze. “You can go take care of it, babe”.

“It can wait. I’m content just like this, sweetheart”.

Korra let out a soft hum, playing with the fingers on her chest.

“Is there anything you’d like for dinner?”

“We’ll cook for ourselves tonight, thank you. After you relay my message, you can go home”.

“As you wish, Miss Sato”. The butler bowed and walked away.

“You know you could have gone”.

“I know. I just also know it can wait until the morning. And I’d much rather continue this instead,” she said, adjusting her head and giving the side of Korra’s neck a quick kiss.

“I love you,” Korra whispered, returning her attention back to the TV and rubbing Asami’s shoulder with her thumb.

Soon enough, Asami found herself dozing off to Korra’s warmth, steady heartbeat, and soft snores. 

______________

_ Two months. How the fuck am I getting married in two months?! Spirits, I’m so lucky. _

Korra found herself in the same dressing room, again. The dress and the tux, with alterations and tailoring complete, were hanging on either side of her. It was time to make a decision. And it was a hard one.

She put the dress on again, for what felt like the hundredth time. The alterations proved to make the decision she had to make that much harder. She had asked for a kick-slit as well as the fabric to be pulled in to hug her form. And she would be damned if she said it wasn’t perfect. 

The tux ended up being just as perfect. They had tailored the pants to be more of a slim fit and the jacket was brought in at the waist ever so slightly, but enough show that she did, actually, have some curves to her. They had also fulfilled her request to embroider alternating blue and white triangles into the lapel. She wanted at least a little something from her tribe in the tux.

She also decided that white was definitely the way to go as it made the blue vest and tie stand out. Either way, she hoped to make Asami’s jaw hit the floor. 

She got changed and kept swiping back and forth between the pictures she took for comparison. In the end it made her dilemma worse. She scratched her cheek and bit at her lip, giving a few more swipes back and forth. With a sigh, Korra put her phone back in her pocket and grabbed both items. She continued to stand there for a few more moments, silently debating with the woman in the mirror. Finally she draped both over her arm and made her way to the counter to pay.

_ Dunno why or how, but both it is. _

____________

Asami took her dress into the fitting room again. Even on the hanger, her alterations looked absolutely perfect. A small part of her still couldn’t believe she was getting married in two short months. 

She could hear Opal chatting away on the other side of the door, but the words stopped making sense as she stared at herself in the mirror. Every part of the dress fit like a glove. She had asked for the lace to be changed to a deep red instead of white. What made her cry was seeing the bits of gold lace from her mother’s wedding dress mixed in with the red lace on the bodice of her own. The white of the dress under the lace just made it that much more stunning. 

“Asami?” Opal knocked on the door softly at the sound of her friend’s sniffles. “Are you okay?”

“Opal.. I.. s-spirits, it’s perfect”.

“Well, let me see it, hun! Korra’s the one who has to wait”.

Asami stepped from the dressing room, desperately trying to get the tears to stop. 

“Spirits, Asami,” Opal gasped. “You look... absolutely stunning. Gorgeous. Damn, Korra is going to just melt when she sees you. Oh! Veil!”

“That.. not necessary right now. I-“

“No arguing with the pregnant lady. Besides, you said it was your mom’s”.

Asami held still while Opal situated the veil into her hair, even if it wasn’t done up how she would have it for the wedding itself. She barely caught her friend mumble something about her being too damn tall, causing a laugh to escape her as she knelt down slightly for her.

Opal pulled the veil over her face with a smile. “It’s absolutely perfect, hun. Take a look”.

Standing straight again, Asami turned to the mirror. Any air she had in her lungs was taken by the sight in front of her. The red edged, pale golden veil was definitely the cherry on top. Yeah, Korra was going to melt.

“Opal,” she breathed out shakily.

“Two months”.

Swallowing hard and moving the veil out of her face, she repeated quietly, “two months”.

At this point, the tears of shock and happiness wouldn’t stop. Not even as she got changed and took the dress to the counter.

_ After all this time, it’s finally happening. I’m marrying Korra. My Korra. Broken bits and all. Forever. _

_____________

With a few days to go, Korra was growing more and more excited. And that only made Asami fear for her own sanity. She loved every part of the tan, blue eyed woman, but sometimes she would become completely irrational with excitement. Which is why Korra was sitting on the kitchen counter with her hand in a bowl of ice water.

“What did we learn?”

“I didn’t know it was still hot!”

“Metal doesn’t cool nearly as fast as you would think after being welded. And with the heat conductivity, the heat can spread quickly to other areas of the- you’re not listening, are you?”

Korra had a soft, almost dreamy smile on her face. “Mmmm, nope. But you can continue. It’ll always be attractive as hell. You being smart and welding and all that really, really sexy stuff”.

Asami took Korra’s hand from the water and looked it over. Thankfully it wasn’t badly burnt and would only have a small blister or two. She shook her head with a chuckle and gave Korra a soft kiss. 

“This is pretty mild compared to some of the burns I’ve gotten, sweetheart. But what did we learn?”

“Don’t touch anything metal if you’re in the workshop”.

“That’s not-“

“Nah. I think that’s what I’m gonna go with. If you’re in there.. spirits only know what you decided to melt together. I won’t touch anything”.

With a quiet laugh, Asami bandaged Korra’s burnt hand. “I give that statement about a week”.

“It’ll have to be longer than that considering we’ll be at that island you wanted to show me for our honeymoon”.

“You’ll.. love Ember Island, Kor. It’s been ages since I’ve even been there. I doubt much has changed though”.

“Aww, why do you say it like that? If it’s been that long, I’m sure something’s had to have changed,” Korra said softly while tucking a lock of Asami’s hair behind her ear and wrapping her legs around her hips to bring her closer. 

“I’ll explain it when we get there,” she said almost a little too quick. “You only have to wait a few more days”.

Korra let out a huff. Patience was definitely not something she had ever been known for. She pulled Asami into a deep kiss. Moments later, she was struck with realization and broke the kiss with a smile and laugh. The unhinged excitement was back.

“We’re getting married in a few days! Asami fucking Sato, you’re gonna be my wife and I’m gonna be yours”. She took Asami’s face in her hands, ignoring the pain from the burn, and planted several kisses on her cheeks and lips. “Spirits, I love you. And look how far we’ve come. Not just from a relationship standpoint but just us as people! You- you’re just- um.. I- we’ve-“

“Korra, sweetheart, breathe,” Asami interjected with a laugh of her own. She decided to stop Korra’s rambling and stammering before she found a way to hurt herself trying to think. “We’ve both come so far, looking back. I wish this could have all happened sooner, when we originally planned to.. but I have you now, and I don’t want anything to change. For as long as you’ll have me, Kor”.

“Forever. Broken bits and all, ‘Sami. I’m yours”.

______________

Korra sat in a chair facing the mirror, Senna behind her doing her hair. She couldn’t believe in a few hours she would be married. No matter how much she wanted this and for how long, she was still incredibly nervous. There was no way she could control the bounce in her leg.

“Sweetie, you look great. Just try to relax,” Senna soothed, finishing Korra’s bun while leaving a few locks to frame her face. 

“I just.. mom, I can’t believe this is even happening. How- what did I do to get her? I had to have done something right for the spirits to give her to me. Mom..” her voice trailed off as tears pooled in her eyes.

Senna let Korra stand and pulled her daughter into a hug and held her for a few long moments. “You’ve been through so much, good and bad, andhave come out so much stronger. I know that you still have days that you struggle with your mind, but look at the amazing woman you’ve become”. She held Korra’s shoulders gently, looking into eyes that resembled hers. “You deserve this happiness, Korra. Don’t ever forget that”.

Korra wiped the tear that had fallen from Senna’s cheek. “I love you, mom”.

“I love you too, Korra,” she whispered as she wiped the tears from Korra’s face before smoothing her hands over the front of Korra’s shirt and vest. “Are you sure you don’t want the top buttoned?”

“Yeah, mom. I’m sure”.

“Okay. I’m going to go see how Asami is doing”. Senna gave her cheek and forehead a quick kiss. “I’m so proud of you, sweetie. And you look.. amazing”.

“Tell Asami I said hey and that I love her. And I’ll see her soon”.

“Of course”.

Korra watched as her mom left the room. Knowing she only had a few moments before Bolin and her dad would be in, she turned back to the mirror and adjusted her tie. A smile lit up her face at a thought just before there was a knock at the door.

_ In a couple hours I’m gonna fucking be Mrs. Sato. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who “voted” for Korra’s attire. But fear not, there’s going to be a use for the dress pretty soon. 
> 
> I’m hoping to get the next chapter done by the end of the week for us all. I have two days of work this week then I leave for Florida. I’ll do my best to write when I’m not the one driving, but yeah. Hoping to get the good feels rolling tomorrow and finished up by the end of the week.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for the wedding!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew! I was going to add in some of the honeymoon, but this chapter got me in my feels. 
> 
> I really, really hope the wedding came out as well as you guys expected 🥺

“You look absolutely fabulous, hun. At least Tonraq will be right there if Korra drops from seeing you,” Opal said, zipping Asami’s dress.

“How about we don’t joke about that,” Asami laughed in response. She knew Korra. It was a possibility that could easily actually happen.

“Oh, come on. Loosen up a little. I know weddings are stressful, so you gotta have some fun before you go out there”.

She let out a soft sigh and looked to the necklace in her hands. It was identical to the one she wore, only instead of steel filling the same areas, she put in a deep blue resin. Asami wanted this, but her nerves were still gnawing at her. All she knew is that after all of this she was going to thank Tenzin and his family profusely for letting them get married on Temple Island. No press, just friends and family.

“It’s even more stunning in person, Asami,” Senna said after closing the door behind her.

Asami turned to her with a smile. “I’m sure Korra looks just as fantastic. How bad is she freaking out?”

“I’ll put it this way, she wouldn’t stop pacing after she got dressed or stop fidgeting while I did her hair. She’s just as nervous as you are”.

“Typical Korra,” Opal laughed. 

Senna gave Asami a tight hug before stepping back and clasping a thin beaded armband around her upper arm.

“Senna, what-“

“It’s passed down through the women in a family at marriage. You’re a part of this family now, dear. It’s your turn to have it”.

“What about Korra? Shouldn’t she have it?” She asked, running her fingers over the alternating blue and white beads.

“Don’t worry. Tonraq also has something for her”.

Asami nodded with tears in her eyes. She was essentially a part of the tribe now. 

“And maybe Opal here can convince you two to have a child of your own”.

“Woah, one thing at a time!”

“Asami, come on! You two would be amazing parents!” Opal grabbed her hand and gave it a firm squeeze. “And pregnancy isn’t.. terrible”.

“I mean.. someday? Spirits, does Korra even want children?”

“I can assure you she does,” Senna answered. 

“Well,” Asami chuckled nervously, no way expecting having children to come up in conversation, “we can table that for another day. I would definitely like to be married first”.

“Of course, dear. Korra probably would have freaked out if I had even mentioned it to her”.

______________

Tonraq placed his hands firmly on Korra’s shoulders with a smile. “I’ll never be able to believe my little girl is getting married. Korra, I’m so proud to be your father. You’ve become such a fine young woman. I’m sure your mother has already said it, but I’m so proud of you. We both are”.

She quickly pulled him into a hug with a sniffle. “I love you, dad. I... I really thought I’d never make it this far. Th-that I’d have been dead long before I would fall in love, let alone get married”.

He held Korra close, rubbing her back as she continued to sniffle into his chest. Tonraq knew as well as anyone how hardheaded his daughter could be. There was no shortage of fights between them as she grew up, butting heads frequently. But he also knew she felt her emotions deeply and had a rather large soft spot under all of her walls and defenses.

“I love you, Korra”. He gently pushed her back and pulled two small bands of blue leather from his pocket.

“Dad,” she breathed out. “Is that..?”

“Yes, sweetie. It is,” he confirmed, wrapping and securing them to the locks of hair framing her face. “Traditionally, the wolf tails are passed down through the men in a family, particularly in the chieftain bloodline. My father gave me these before I left for the South. It’s your turn to have them, though. You can continue the tradition if you ever have a son”.

“I- what? K-kids? You really want to talk about that now?” Korra could feel her face begin to heat up.

“Not unless you want to”.

“Spirits, no. Not right now. I would definitely like to be married before.. kids. We haven’t even really talked about -“

“Korra, breathe. Enjoy the wedding, your honeymoon. The conversation will happen when the time is right”. Tonraq patted her shoulder with a smile. “Would you like me to let Bolin in to see you?”

“Um.. yeah. You can,” Korra said quietly, a hand on the back of her neck.

He pulled her into another hug and kissed the top of her head before leaving to go find her friend.

Korra turned to the mirror for what felt like the millionth time that morning. While she waited on Bolin, she let herself take in the woman in the mirror. Full white suit, embroidered alternating triangles in white and blue on the lapels of the jacket, navy blue vest and tie. At the last minute she decided to add a pelt as a cummerbund, a decision that she felt made her getup that much more unique to her tribe. The shorter hair she kept after all this time might have been a bit of a challenge for Senna to get into a bun, but it worked. Touching one of the wolf tails in her hair, a smile came to her face. She was actually getting married. 

Korra turned just as the door to the room she was in closed, finding Bolin with open arms. Before a word left either of them, she was pulled into a crushing hug and spun around.

“Korra! You look absolutely fantastic!”

“Bo. Can’t breathe”.

“Right, right. Sorry,” he said as she put her back down and smoothed her suit back down. “I’m just so excited for you two. It’s been a long time coming”.

“That it has. And.. um.. I’m glad things are more or less back to normal for us again. I missed having you as a friend. Just.. don’t pull that shit again”. 

Bolin rubbed his arm after Korra gave him a playful punch. “Don’t worry, I won’t. I learned my lesson. I’m sorry he-“

“Nope. You don’t get to apologize for his actions. Your brother or not, he’s not your responsibility and he’s his own, incredibly shitty, person”. She placed her hand on his shoulder with a smile. “And you’re nothing like him. At all”.

“H-hey. No fair. I’m supposed to be hyping you up today, not the other way around”.

“You win some, you lose so- come in?” Korra turned a confused look to the door. It wasn’t time yet.

Senna cracked the door and poked her head in. “Someone wants to talk to you”.

“I- mom, I can’t see her yet!”

“It’ll be around the door, sweetie. You won’t see each other yet”.

Bolin gave her a gentle shove towards the door. Even he knew better than to keep the bride waiting. All he could do was chuckle at the glare Korra shot him before making her way to the door. Asami’s hand came around from the other side and Korra gladly took it.

“Kor, I love you. More than I think you understand. Maybe this wasn’t the wedding I had in mind when I was little, but I’m so happy this is the reality for me. As much as I just want to..” there was a quiet sniffle from her before she continued, “.. just spill my vows to you right this second, I’ll save it for the alter. Just don’t ever forget how much I love you”.

Korra let out a sniffle of her own and wiped the tears from her face. She felt the hand in hers give a firm squeeze. 

“H-how is that fair, ‘Sami? Just taking all the words from me already,” Korra laughed softly. “I love you, Asami. I just hope you continue to let me show you just how much. And.. and how much you mean to me. I really do want you forever. And then some”.

“I’ll see you soon, sweetheart. I love you”.

“I love you too,” she said with an obvious smile in her voice as she gave Asami’s hand a firm squeeze before letting go and closing the door behind her.

_______________

“You ready?” Opal asked, handing Asami her bouquet of white lilies and red roses.

“I.. y-yeah. Opal, I can’t believe this is happening,” she whispered, looking up at the ceiling to fight off her tears after she took the bouquet from her friend.

“You have nothing to worry about. She’s not gonna ditch you at the alter. And you look absolutely gorgeous. And honestly, when I went to talk to her, she looks pretty damn amazing too. Got your vows?”

Asami rolled her eyes at the question. Of course she did. With the amount of times she’s repeated them over and over in her head, they were definitely ingrained.

“Did you forget who you’re talking to?”

“Trust me, wedding stress can do things to your mind. I’m going to go get Senna and tell her you’re ready and-“

“What?!”

“You really thought you were walking alone? Told you, wedding stress”.

“Did Korra-“

“Nope”. Opal wrapped Asami in a tight hug. “It was her parents’ idea. You deserve it, hun”.

Asami was left speechless. She had been content walking the aisle by herself. 

“Now go get yourself married,” she told her, giving her a parting friendly kiss to the cheek. Just as she was about to open the door, she turned back to Asami for a moment with her hand resting on her baby bump. “Oh, and don’t take as long as Bo and I did”.

“Opal!” She called after her in disbelief just as the door closed.

Asami caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror again. With a deep breath, she wiped a tear away that was about to slip from her eye. Soon, very soon, she would no longer be answering her phone as ‘Miss Sato’. Even with all of the ups and downs her and Korra had in the past she couldn’t wait to finally marry her. It had been a long time coming with a lot of work, tears, and love put in from both sides.

“I was told you’re ready,” Senna said, pulling Asami from her reminiscing. 

After taking another deep breath and running her fingers along the beads around her arm, she linked her arm with Senna’s and replied with conviction, “I am”.

________________

They had both made the decision to walk separate aisles and meet together in the middle of the room. Bolin and Opal would be there waiting for them with the officiant as well as an elder from the tribe. Asami had been insistent that an officiant from the city wasn’t necessary, but Korra wasn’t having any of it, constantly saying how it wouldn’t have been fair. So both it was.

Korra’s aisle was adorned with navy blue and white ribbons and a light blue carpet for her to walk, embroidered intricately with tribal patterns. White lilies in vases lined either side of the carpet. 

Asami’s end had red and gold ribbons with a red carpet embroidered with elegant swirls and patterns in golden thread. Her path was lined with alternating red and white roses on either side of the carpet. 

The doors on both side of the room opened and both women began their walk, Korra on Tonraq’s arm, Asami on Senna’s. Korra and Asami locked eyes from across the room, neither believing how this all wasn’t actually a dream. Suddenly the walk to the center seemed like miles and words failed to come to either of their minds.

Asami couldn’t help but notice how Korra was clearly fighting dropping her father’s arm and sprinting to her. She noticed how her step faltered slightly, torn between freezing in place out of shock and closing the distance as fast as she possibly could. And even though they still had roughly half the room to cross, Asami could see tears of pure joy starting to pool in her favorite blue eyes. Even with the thrill and joy, a part of her suddenly couldn’t wait to get Korra out of that tux that fit her way too perfectly.

The closer they got to each other, the harder it was for Asami to choke back her own tears. Everything around them was perfect. But in her eyes, the most perfect thing in the room was her soon to be wife walking towards her.

The first moment she saw Asami, Korra felt like all the air had gotten knocked out of her. The feeling reminded her of the very first time the two of them locked eyes years ago in some club. Asami danced on Friday nights to unwind after a long work week, and Korra was just looking to get blackout drunk to forget her past. She couldn’t believe one night at a new club for her has led to this. 

Even after all the ups and downs, Asami chose her. She was drop dead gorgeous in her gown, red and gold lace easily drawing Korra’s attention when she wasn’t lost in the tear filled green eyes, faintly veiled in gold, walking towards her. All She wanted to do was break into a run and wrap Asami in a hug, maybe spin her around, and just never stop kissing her. Sure friends and family were there, but suddenly it just felt like it was only them.

As they finally met in the middle, Korra was getting a little fidgety. There was still too much space between them, even if it was only two feet at absolute most. She watched as Tonraq dropped her arm and wrapped Asami in a hug, just as Senna mirrored the gesture with her.

“Korra, I can’t believe this day has finally come. You’re a beautiful and strong young woman. You deserve this and so much more”.

“I.. I love you, mom. And thank you. For everything,” Korra whispered before her mom ended the hug and stepped off to the side. 

Finally. Finally Korra was able to lift Asami’s veil. She was finally able to hold her hands after she handed off her bouquet to Senna and look into her eyes, full of love for one another. She felt the space between them was too great, but she couldn’t kiss her. Not yet. They each mouthed a silent ‘I love you’ just as the officiant began.

“Friends, family, we have all gathered here to witness and join two lovers as one before the spirits”.

“Not only are we joining two fantastic women today,” the elder continued, “we are joining two cultures. It is my understanding that Chief Korra would like to say a few words to Miss Sato”.

Asami gave Korra a warm smile. As much as she was still trying to fight the tears, she knew it would be hopeless by the end of whatever Korra was about to say. She gave the hands in hers a gentle squeeze before rubbing her knuckles tenderly with her thumb.

Korra returned the smile and cleared her throat to try to choke back her own tears. She also knew it was a pointless battle.

“Asami, when we first met, I really didn’t want anything to do with you. I tried my hardest to get out of the club, to get away from you. I couldn’t be having a crush on a total stranger. And yet, you still pulled me into a dance and asked me to lunch the next day. You didn’t know who I was or my history.. or how dark I was at that time”.

She cleared her throat again before continuing, “you.. you took such good care of me through my dark days and nights. You never judged me or saw me as some charity case. You actually cared. And soon enough, I fell. I fell so hard for you, but you were right there to catch me. Sure, some bad times came between us. It broke us both and ended up having two and a half long years of wasted time between us”.

Korra paused briefly to wipe a tear from Asami’s cheek. She also began to rub the back of Asami’s hand with her thumb with the hand that wasn’t cupping her cheek tenderly.

“We finally forgave each other, found love between us again. ‘Sami, it’s always been you for me. We wanted to do this a few years ago, and it still sucks that we.. couldn’t. I just want to show you the same care and love and support you’ve shown me so many times over. Always”.

Korra looked to Bolin, a hand extended to him. He placed the ring into her open hand with a large smile and watched as she turned back to Asami. 

“I.. I’m gonna ask you again, just for good measure. Asami Sato, will you marry me?” After she nodded with a tear filled ‘yes’, Korra continued, “I’ll do my best to protect you from anything bad that comes our way. I’ll lift you up when you’re down, and hold you higher when you’re up. Should you get sick, I’ll take care of you. Always and forever. And then some”.

She paused for a moment as Asami brushed the tears that had slipped away from her cheeks. As she slid the ring onto Asami’s finger, her eyes met her favorite shade of green.

“Broken bits and all, Asami. I love you. And with this ring,” she lifted Asami’s hand and placed a kiss to the ring now on her finger, “I promise you forever”.

At this point, she definitely couldn’t stop the tears. She brought her hand to her mouth in a feeble attempt to regain her composure. Through watery eyes, Asami could see Korra raise her eyebrows in concern with tears in her own eyes and a comforting smile on her face.

The officiant and elder both gave Asami a few moments to dab the tears from her eyes and face. They were also moved by Korra’s words, as was everyone else, and understood to a point the quiet moment Asami needed.

“Miss Sato, is there something you would like to share with the Chief of the South?” The officiant asked with a smile.

“Yes, of course. Though, I don’t know how I can top that,” she said with a soft chuckle, ignoring Korra’s suggestive look and taking her hands. “Korra, my love, I wasn’t looking for anything or anyone that night. You had just looked so upset, so broken, and I was only wanting to get you to smile. It’s why I wouldn’t just leave you alone, why I insisted I give you a dance. I knew your eyes once held such an amazing light and was sure your smile was just as bright. There was just... something about holding you, leading the dance, that shifted something in me. I wanted to get to know you outside of the club setting”.

She watched as Korra bit her lip and shifted her weight slightly as she desperately tried to fight her tears.

“The day we had lunch, it might not have been the best time for you, but we each actually learned exactly who the other was. For me, it was a breath of fresh air. Even when you found I was a Sato, you never once treated me different. You’ve taught me I’m nothing like my father. 

“Korra,” Asami continued, moving her hands to Korra’s face and wiping her tears that had slipped, “you’ve been through so much that no one should ever have to go through. When you told me you wanted to see me again, I knew I was falling for you, no matter how broken and hurt inside you were. I acknowledge that some rough times found us just as quick as we fell in love, but it’s always been you for me. No one has ever made me feel the way I feel about you. I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again, and I’ll continue to remind you: broken bits and all, Kor, I love every part of you”.

Asami took the necklace for Korra from Opal. After turning back to her, Asami cupped her cheek gently with a smile and wiped more tears from Korra’s face. 

“Chief Korra of the Southern Tribe, this necklace means more than forever. D-do you accept it?”

Korra was at a complete loss for words and could only manage an eager nod into Asami’s hand. She turned and let Asami put the necklace on her. At first, she really thought her anxiety over having something around her neck was going to creep up. When it didn’t, Korra couldn’t stop her tears of pure happiness. 

Korra turned back around and took Asami’s hands again. They both noticed not a single person there had dry eyes. Tonraq was trying his damndest to not let the tears fall. The soft sniffles of Opal and Senna came from beside Asami, even Bolin had to wipe tears from his eyes. 

In the crowd, even Kuvira and Baatar Jr. we’re having a difficult time fighting their own tears. Pema and Tenzin weren’t trying to hide their emotions, their kids also teary eyed. Kya couldn’t hide her smile and ever stoic Lin had tears ever so slightly prickling at the corners of her eyes.

“Now that vows to each other have been spoken,” the elder spoke, “do you promise to love each other unconditionally, for the rest of your lives, and make this promise as the spirits and ancestors as witness?”

“I do,” Korra affirmed while looking deeply into Asami’s eyes.

Returning the gaze and squeezing Korra’s hands tightly, Asami replied, “I do”.

“By the power given to both the South’s elder and myself, we pronounce you wives. Chief Korra, Mrs. Sato, you may kiss your bride”.

They took no time in taking the suggestion, quickly pulling each other close. Korra held Asami’s face as her wife pulled their bodies flush by the waist as they crashed their lips together. Cheers and clapping, with an occasional sniffle from some, erupted around them. The noise fell on deaf ears as they were too caught up in each other, lips moving effortlessly against each other. 

They stayed like that for a few moments before parting, Asami taking her bouquet back, and joining hands to begin making their exit to get to the open area of the island where they chose to have their reception. The press would have ruined it, so they had decided to have everything stay at Tenzin’s island. Roughly half way to the door, Korra picked up Asami with a laugh and easily carried her the rest of the way out.

Every little thing was perfect.

And Korra being Korra, she didn’t go to the tented area that was set up for the reception. Instead, she carried Asami all the way to the edge of the island where she set her down by the water. Asami let herself get lost in the oceans that were Korra’s eyes for a few moments, silent ‘I love you’s passed between them before pulling her into a deep kiss, much deeper than the one they shared in front of everyone.

Korra wanted more. She ran her hands down Asami’s arms, stopping one hand to run her fingers along the beaded arm band and the other finding the bouquet and gently dropping it to the ground and taking Asami’s hand. With a soft bite to her bottom lip, Asami gladly slid her tongue into Korra’s mouth and letting her hand be guided up the front of her wife’s torso. She felt Korra’s hand go from her arm to her side and beginning to fumble with the zipper to her dress.

“Korra..” she breathed, breaking the kiss. As much as she wanted to continue, Asami knew they just.. couldn’t. She stilled the hand at her side, apology in her eyes as she looked into Korra’s. “Sweetheart, no. Not right now”.

“R-right,” Korra choked out, trying to suppress her desire and extremely mild disappointment, “reception. We should.. probably get back, huh?”

“Mmmhm. C’mon, love. You can get me out of the dress later”. She gave Korra a quick kiss before picking up the flowers, taking her hand, and leading them both back to the reception area. 

_____________

Traditional Southern food was served as well as Asami’s favorites from the city’s culture. There was plenty of alcohol to go around, and yet both of them only had a couple drinks. Soon enough, Asami found herself in Tonraq’s arms and Korra in Senna’s. 

“Asami, I don’t think you fully understand how happy we are for you both. After everything both of you have been through, you deserve all of this”.

Asami smiled warmly with a chuckle at his slight misstep in their dance. “Did she learn to dance from you?”

“What? Hey-“

She gently tapped his foot with her own to force him back into step with a full laugh. “It’s okay. I won’t tell”.

As that song came to a close, both Tonraq and Senna handed the two women off to each other for their first dance. 

“Hey, you,” Asami whispered, touching her nose to Korra’s and beginning to place her hands on her to lead the dance.

“Hey,” Korra whispered back and quickly changed their hand placement so she could lead. As the song ‘I Choose’ by Alessia Cara started, she added with a smile, “just so you know, I still don’t dance”.

“I don’t believe that for a second, Mrs. Sato”.

Korra could have just melted right then and there. Even though she was suddenly at a loss for words, she decided to move her feet and start their first dance. Asami noticed how effortlessly it seemed they were moving, much different from the very first time they had danced together. There was no needing to correct Korra’s step. Maybe she didn’t actually learn from her father. 

As she tightened her hold on Korra’s shoulder and pulled her closer, Asami noticed the ever so slight misstep. She knew her wife was becoming a little nervous, everyone watching them share this moment together.

“Hey, they’re looking at me,” she nearly husked into Korra’s ear, not letting the way she shuddered slightly in her arms go overlooked.

“N-no. They’re looking at us, babe. Together. Finally and forever”. Korra pulled Asami closer by the waist and giving her a soft but lingering kiss.

When the song finally ended, they stood in the middle of the dance floor just holding each other. Even as everyone else clapped for them, all that mattered was the woman in front of them. Blue eyes met green, both filled with tears of joy. In a few short hours, they would be boarding a boat to take them to Ember Island for their honeymoon. 

Everything was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m planning on starting the honeymoon chapter at some point during our second day of driving (we’re halfway to Florida in South Carolina for the night!) and hoping to finish it soon after.
> 
> I really hope this chapter met at least some expectations 🥺 ❤️❤️


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honeymoon smut, some conversations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Literally smut with some filler 😅

“Mrs. Sato, Chief,” the captain of the boat greeted. “I understand you’re going to Ember Island for some time away. Allow me to take your bag to your quarters”.

Korra handed over their bag with a soft smile. She knew Asami was more than capable of driving a boat, but appreciated she had hired a full ship staff to take them to the island. At least it would be just the two of them without the need to check on navigation and steering. The boat ride would be roughly two days. 

After a quick parting hug with her parents, Korra linked her arm with Asami’s and boarded the boat. Asami took a quick glance at her bouquet and tossed it over the edge of the railing into the small crowd of their friends. Korra threw her fists into the air with a laugh when she saw Jinora catch it. She couldn’t help but join her wife in laughter at the way Tenzin and Pema looked at each other and then their daughter. As the boat departed, they both waved their goodbyes and shared another kiss for everyone.

“I love you, ‘Sami,” she sighed softly and rested her forehead against Asami’s.

“I love you too. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m okay. Just.. so happy. You know, I never expected this would be the life for me”. Korra rubbed her nose against her wife’s. “I really thought I’d have long been dead before.. any of this”.

“Oh, Kor,” Asami said quietly, cupping Korra’s cheek. “I’m so glad you’re alive and here”.

“Me too, babe. I’m.. I’m happy, at least now, I failed every time I attempted. I mean.. I still get those thoughts sometimes but I don’t think I’d act on it these days. Everything is just so much.. better”.

“I know your mental health is going to be a bit of a battle for the rest of your life, but it’s a battle you don’t have to face alone. Ever again”. Asami unbuttoned Korra’s suit jacket and ran her fingers along the fur of the pelt around her waist. “Just remember to let me help you through the bad days”.

“I’ll do my best. You know how I can get,” she said softly.

Asami couldn’t quite figure out the look in Korra’s eyes. It was somewhat distant, but not necessarily in a bad way. If anything, she looked mildly overwhelmed with the emotions she was feeling. But there was something else. Asami knew the look of her not wanting to bring something up.

“Is there anything you need to talk about, love?”

“Uh.. n-not yet. Just,” she let out a nervous laugh, rubbing the back of her neck, “my dad brought... something up and- and I- uhm.. I don’t think now’s the time to talk about it?”

“Is it bad or something?” Asami asked, raising her eyebrow. A large part of her knew it wasn’t by the pink in Korra’s cheeks, but the small part of her still worried.

“No! I- no, it’s not bad”.

“Okay, good”.

Korra hummed softly, leaning against the railing of the deck. She always did enjoy boat rides. The breeze on her face, the smell of the sea, the ripples of the water, waves in the distance. It all reminded her of home and when she would go boating to clear her mind as best as she could. 

Asami joined her in leaning on the railing. As much as she tried to focus on the night sky and the feeling of the sea breeze, she couldn’t help but get lost in the way the moonlight hit Korra’s eyes. She seemed so in her element and at peace. In the comfortable silence, Asami wrapped an arm around her waist and tugged her close.

The movement pulled Korra from her mind and thoughts of starting a family. She couldn’t figure out a good way to bring it up especially with not knowing if that’s something Asami would even want. With a content sigh, she turned in her arm and pulled her into a gentle kiss.

While Asami enjoyed the soft and tender kisses Korra would often give, the quickness of them could sometimes just not be enough. This was one of those times. As Korra began to pull back, she put her hand on the back of her neck and pulled her in for another, deeper and lingering kiss. Hands ran up her sides and eventually found the bare skin the dress left to the open. 

Korra’s movements were slow, almost calculated. A slight tilt to her head, a gentle bite to Asami’s bottom lip, slowly finding her tongue with her own as she tenderly caressed her upper back. Her hand moved slowly in search of the zipper.

“Kor,” Asami breathed, her thoughts cut short by lips on her neck.

Her body began to act on instinct, tugging Korra’s hair from its bun and putting the hair tie on her wrist. As she switched sides, Asami held the back of her head as a moan escaped her at the feeling of a little teeth. Now that the wedding was over, she let her mind settle on getting her wife out of the suit. It looked fantastic on her, but it also sent a flutter of desire through Asami. Korra in formal attire always made it hard for her to focus on much else for whatever reason.

Tan hands found the zipper and tugged it down. She heard Asami gasp quietly at the cool air on her now bare torso as she held the dress at her waist with one hand and the other moving painfully slow down her back. Nails bit into the base of her skull as she began to work a mark just under Asami’s ear. 

Asami tangled her hand into Korra’s hair and pulled her away from her neck just to crash their lips together. She moaned into Korra’s mouth as her hand trailed up her stomach and began massaging her breast. Untangling her hand, she worked the pelt from around Korra’s waist and let it fall to the deck. A shiver ran through Asami as Korra rolled her nipple between her thumb and finger.

Korra felt her jacket being moved from her shoulders and quickly took it off, alternating which hand was holding Asami’s dress from falling to the deck. Between quick breaths for air and soft moans, Asami had gotten Korra’s vest unbuttoned and tie undone. 

“Sweetheart,” she managed around a moan from soft bites being given down her neck. “Quarters..”

“Where?” Korra’s question came out deep and desire filled around nipping along Asami’s collarbone.

“Grab your things and follow me,” she whispered as she took her dress from Korra’s hand and pulled it back up just enough to cover her breasts.

After Korra quickly grabbed her jacket and pelt from the deck, Asami cocked her head in the direction of the cabin. She took no hesitation in following her wife. Even if she did appreciate the view from behind, she was growing frustrated with the dress still being on Asami’s body.

As soon as she got through the door, barely taking the time to close it behind her, Korra tossed her jacket and pelt to the floor. Her tie and vest quickly joined the items already discarded and she got to work unbuttoning her shirt after untucking it. Fingers faltered and blue eyes watched as Asami let her dress drop to the floor. A seductive smile graced ruby lips as she glanced over her shoulder at Korra.

“What’s wrong, love?” She asked with a wink while she worked the veil out of her hair. “You’re acting like this is our first time”.

“I.. what? N-no?” Korra stammered out as she got her shirt off and started working the wolf tails from her hair. “I mean.. this is something like our first time again. Cause we’re married now”.

Asami hummed softly as she walked to the nightstand and took her hair down, setting the pins and hair ties on it, after kicking her shoes off. She knew Korra was attentively watching her every move and she couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped her. Hearing a soft groan, Asami turned to see her wife fumbling with her belt. It was quite clear that she was so turned on her brain couldn’t keep up with her movements.

Before Korra could even attempt getting her pants unbuttoned, Asami crossed the room and gently backed her against the wall. 

“You know, if you’d slow down a bit,” she husked against Korra’s lips as she easily unbuttoned and unzipped her pants, “you wouldn’t be fumbling around so much”.

A soft whimper left her as Asami started a heated kiss and pulled her pants past her hips. Shuffling slightly, Korra was able to kick her shoes off. Quick fingers made easy work of her wrap and tossed it to the side before trailing down her sides and hooking into the waistband of her underwear. Korra held onto Asami’s hips and pulled her closer, adjusting so her thigh was between her own legs. 

Asami let her grind slowly on her thigh for a few moments, enjoying the warm and calloused hands caressing her breasts. As much as she didn’t want it to stop, Korra’s pants were still on and very much in the way. Asami stilled Korra’s movements and stepped back.

“H-hey! Where’re you going?” Korra pouted.

“The bed, love. And before you join,” Asami trailed her eyes down her body, “lose the pants. And maybe the underwear as well”.

Korra swallowed hard at the way Asami turned and tossed her hair over her shoulder. It was a movement she both loved and hated. In the few short moments it took Korra to lose the rest of her clothes, she never noticed Asami lose hers as well. Or the toy she fished from their bag. Not until she stood straight again and barely caught the object tossed to her.

“Oh?” A sensual smile was clearly evident in Korra’s voice. 

“Korra, put it on and come to bed”. Asami laid down and opened her legs with bent knees. “Unless you don’t want to”.

“Aha.. yeah.. I definitely do want to,” she nearly mumbled as she fought with the harness. 

Her gaze snapped towards the bed at the soft moan that came from that direction only to see Asami slowly circling her own clit with a finger. Biting back a moan at the sight, Korra managed to get the straps tightened. Just as she adjusted one of them to rub against her clit, she watched as her wife dipped her finger inside herself and begin to thrust it slowly. Asami clearly knew what she was doing to her.

A groan rumbled from deep in her chest asshe crossed the room to the bed. Korra quickly climbed onto the bed and hovered over Asami, eyes locking and both of their pupils dilated in desire. 

“Move your hand, babe,” Korra said, placing kisses along her jaw.

“Lube?”

Korra rolled her eyes and sat back on her heels. “I’m not digging for it,” she murmured before letting a string of spit from her lips to the shaft of the dildo. As she evened out the spit, her eyes caught Asami spreading herself open before continuing her gaze up to meet green eyes.

“What’re you waiting for then?” She whispered with her voice dripping with want.

Swallowing hard, Korra gripped the shaft of the toy and lined the tip up with Asami’s entrance. “You sure, ‘Sami?”

“If you don’t, I swea- F-fuck!” Asami yelped in pleasure as Korra sunk the dildo into her.

Keeping herself still and letting Asami adjust to the toy inside of her, she asked softly, “are you okay?” And gave soft kisses to her cheeks.

“I-I’m fine, sweetheart”. 

Even in a situation like this, she loved how soft and gentle Korra could get in an instant. No matter how rough she would want to be sometimes, her wife could pull back to simply check in. 

With a soft grunt and hands on either side of Asami’s head, Korra drew her hips back slightly and stole a glance between them to see her wetness coating the toy. As she locked eyes with the woman under her, she thrust her hips forward again and watched Asami’s eyes flutter closed. Korra started a slow and steady pace with her wife rolling her hips to meet her thrusts.

Asami wrapped her legs around Korra’s hips, urging her deeper. A gasp left her as her eyes snapped opened at Korra sitting back and lifting one of her legs before leaning forward again, driving the dildo as deep as she could. She could see concern in the blue eyes above her and grabbed Korra’s shoulders. 

“Korra,” she breathed out sharply, “I want this”.

“I.. I don’t want to hurt you”.

Asami adjusted slightly and brought her other leg to hook around Korra’s waist instead of her hips while moving one of her hands to her hair. “Listen to me, love. You won’t. I want to feel this in the morning. Rail. Me”.

Korra’s breath hitched slightly as the look in her eyes changed from pure concern to one of determination. She grabbed Asami’s thigh and pulled her so she would be pounding straight down into her. Starting a hard yet slow pace, a smirk came to her face at Asami’s gasps and whimpers from each contact of her hips. 

Asami’s nails bit into Korra’s back as she picked up the pace. All eight inches was being plowed into her hard and fast, backed by the wall of muscle that was the woman on top of her. She could feel each muscle in her back move under her hands, the hand holding her thigh tighten roughly, her other leg being unwrapped from Korra’s waist and mirroring the other’s position of her calf resting on her wife’s shoulder. Asami wanted to feel it the next morning, and Korra was definitely delivering.

The room was filled with Asami’s moans and cries, Korra’s grunts and panting, and the sound of skin on skin as hips met the backs of thighs. A bead of sweat dripped from the tip of Korra’s nose as she worked her hips harder. She was reaching her peak faster and faster from the strap between her legs being coated in her own arousal and rubbing against her clit perfectly with each thrust.

“K-Korra, sweet.. heart,” Asami panted out. “F-finish me”.

Furrowing her brows in concentration, Korra nearly folded her in half. She gripped the backs of Asami’s knees and drove her hips down into her rough and fast. At each contact, her wife’s moans rose an octave and nails dug into her back harder, occasionally dragging over the ridges on muscle. 

“Come for me, baby,” Korra nearly growled as she watched the face of her wife. 

“K... Kor... d-dont you dare... stop..” Asami’s breath caught as Korra nearly drew the full length out and rammed back into her. “F.. F-fuck!” She dug her head back into the pillows and raked her nails down Korra’s back, definitely drawing blood.

“Come. For. Me. ‘Sami”. Each low growl of a word was punctuated with a hard and deep thrust and slapping of skin. “Now”.

The last command from her wife sent Asami flying off the edge into bliss with a scream. It was always something about Korra’s lustful and commanding growls, when that was the kind of mood they were both in, that always unraveled her. Her head was spinning as Korra didn’t stop her thrusts. She was prolonging the orgasm and they both knew it. Asami’s legs were trembling in strong tan hands, strings of profanities mixed into her lover’s name being moaned and screamed to the spirits beyond the ceiling. 

Soon enough, Asami managed to hear a quick succession of grunts and moans from above her before a long and drawn out moan of her name rang through the room. The grip on her legs loosened and thrusts were slow, shallow, and choppy as Korra rode out the aftershocks of her own orgasm. She let Asami’s legs back down gently as she caught her breath and slid the dildo out of her wife.

“Think you’ll feel that in the morning?” Korra teased a bit, still taking deep breaths and wiping the sweat off her forehead. 

“If I don’t, I’ll be surprised,” came the breathless reply. 

“Me and you both, love”. Korra wiggled out of the harness and simply tossed it to the floor before flopping down next to her wife. “You sure that wasn’t... too much?”

“Of course I’m sure”. She rolled onto her side to face Korra with a content sigh. “You’re wonderful”.

“Mmm.. not as wonderful as you,” she murmured and pulled Asami into her arms. “So.. what’s the big secret with Ember Island?”

“Do.. do we have to talk about that now?”

Korra ran her hand down Asami’s arm. “I mean.. we don’t have to. I’d just like to know”.

Asami adjusted her head on her wife’s shoulder. “It’s... I.. Kor-“

“It’s okay, ‘Sami. You don’t-“

“I kinda own it”.

There was a brief silence between them before Korra broke it.

“Oh... why didn’t you want me to know before?”

“Well,” Asami started, trailing her fingers down Korra’s sternum and stomach, “it’s really my father’s, but I inherited it when he went to prison. After that, I never really went back. It held too many good memories I didn’t want tainted by the situation that came around. But now.. Korra, it’s our island. I want to make new fantastic memories with you there”.

A grin came to her face and she gave the top of Asami’s head a kiss. “Sounds absolutely perfect, babe”.

_________________

And memories they did make. The house on the island wasn’t overwhelming, just a simple three bedroom, two bathroom house. And Korra was absolutely sure they had sex in every room, including the kitchen and dining room. The living room may have gotten to witness several intimate sessions. 

When things weren’t sexual, Korra would be busy in the kitchen making a variety of food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Asami would always insist on helping or doing the cooking, and all Korra would allow was some help. She truly enjoyed time in the kitchen. The pair would also enjoy quiet times with Asami usually reading or drawing while Korra snoozed nearby.

And sometimes they would just sit and talk for hours. Korra had heard more about Asami’s mother and her childhood after asking about a few family photos still in the house. This day was no different. 

At breakfast, Korra almost begrudgingly talked about some of her childhood. Being raised incredibly sheltered, always having a guard around, not able to just have fun as a normal kid in her tribe would. At lunch, Asami shared her time in private school until her mother died and then how her father homeschooled her. At the time she never realized he was just grooming her to follow in his footsteps. After dinner and stories shared of childhood games and jokes, Korra caved. They would be returning to the city in a couple days and she didn’t want their jobs to get in the way of such an important conversation.

Korra smiled at the picture of Asami being held by her mom. She would swear that’s what made the question spark in her mind. Asami looked so much like how her mother did then and the thought of her holding their child.. 

“Hey, babe?”

“Hm?”

Korra turned from the picture to face her wife sitting on the couch, sketch pad in her lap and focused on whatever she was drawing.

“Do you want kids?” She asked quickly, a very small part of her hoping Asami didn’t hear her.

But she did, made evident by the way her pencil fell from her hand and green eyes shot up to meet Korra’s.

“What?”

“D-do you want to have kids, ‘Sami? I mean.. I know we should have talked about this before we got married.. but it’s not a deal breaker if you don’t! Just.. um.. I think you’d be a fantastic mother and if you don’t want to carry the baby, if you even want kids, I can do that for us. But if you do want to carry it, by all means, I’m not going to stop you. Hell, we could even adopt! That’s even if-“

In the time Korra was rambling and pacing, Asami had put her sketching materials down and walked over to her wife. She gently pulled Korra into a hug and whispered, “I do, Kor”.

“You.. you do?”

“Yes, sweetheart, I want kids”. She pulled back just enough to see happy tears fill Korra’s eyes. “We can work out how and the overall logistics of it when we get home, okay? I want this with you, Korra. I want us to have a family. I’m just.. I’m glad you want the same. I never knew how to bring it up; no point in time really ever felt.. right to ask”.

“Y-you know you can ask me anything at any time,” Korra sniffled, wiping the tears from her eyes.

“I know. Your.. mom said you’d bring it up when you were ready”.

“What?! My mom talked to you about this?”

All Asami could do was laugh softly at the pink tinting tan cheeks before taking her hands with a smile. “At the wedding, yes”.

Korra rolled her eyes. “They had to have planned it..”

“What do you mean, love?”

“My dad brought it up to me.. at the wedding”.

For some reason the fact that both Senna and Tonraq could have easily planned to bring up children to each of them threw them into a small fit of laughter. Korra wouldn’t put it past them at all.

“So.. you really do want kids?”

“Yes, Kor. I do”.

_____________

Time had passed and Opal and Bolin needed some time together, away from their 6 month old. Which is exactly why Asami’s life for the past few days has felt like dealing with two children. She loved her wife, and her wife was fantastic with kids, she could just get overzealous at times. At least it was endearing when no one was getting hurt.

And for some spirit forsaken reason, she wished she at least had a baby on the way at the sight she walked into when she got home from the office. She found her wife reclining on the couch, likely sleeping, with their friends’ baby girl, Garnet, sound asleep on her chest. One hand was firmly, yet gently, resting on her back, the other hanging off the side of the couch with the bottle still in hand. If the two of them hadn’t talked about children before all of this, this one little scene would have sparked it. 

Asami’s witnessed Korra play with Tenzin and Pema’s youngest, Rohan, on several occasions. But he was older. There was something about seeing Korra interact with another human that was so young and small that absolutely melted her. 

Without much coherent thought, Asami set her purse down and took her shoes and jacket off. She quietly make her way to the couch and placed a soft kiss to both of their heads. Not exactly sure why she kissed Garnet’s head, she blinked for a moment. She definitely had it bad.

A couple hours had passed and Asami noticed the baby started to fuss. Not wanting her to wake Korra, she gently moved her wife’s hand and picked her up from her chest. Unfortunately that seemed to wake Korra up much faster. Her eyes shot open, a moment of fear in them before noticing Asami had Garnet in her arms.

“Go back to sleep, love. I got her”.

“No, no,” Korra grunted softly while sitting up. “I need to get up anyhow. I was gonna make you dinner before you got home. But then she got hungry and we got comfortable and clearly fell asleep”.

“It... was quite the sight to walk into”. Asami adjusted the baby in her arms and started to bounce her slightly. “Kor, I want to do this”.

A dopey, crooked smile came to Korra’s face as she watched Asami. She did too. 

“When?”

“Soon. As soon as we can, sweetheart. If you’re on board with that”.

“Then we’d better start getting ready for this. Starting.. now”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all. Starting now, I need name ideas for korrasami baby. Boy, girl, neutral. Give ‘em. I’m soooo bad with baby names (Opal and Bolin’s was the first thing my wife said when I asked her for a baby name for them)
> 
> Vacation is going well so far. I’m pretty sure I might have gotten a sunburn today? Still definitely not ready for the plane ride home.


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a shorter chapter and I’m so sorry for the end of it now. 🥺

Asami watched as Kuvira tossed Korra down to the mat. She decided to pick Korra up from the gym and then take her out to her favorite woods. Maybe it was too soon to say anything, but her wife deserved to know, no matter how early and possibly untrue it could be. And Korra needed another outlet from the past few months of frustration.

It was Korra’s turn to toss Kuvira over her shoulder and attempt to keep her down. Asami heard a mildly pained grunt come from her wife as a well placed foot struck her just under the ribs. It had already been ten minutes past the time Korra said she’d be finished with her workout. 

Asami bit her lip as she continued to watch the two spar. She knew Korra was frustrated, upset even. Every time they tried, several donors used, tracking fertility.. it all ended with nothing. And of course Korra would fall back into some old habits, like training away her feelings. Asami had also started falling back into old habits to take her mind off of so many failed attempts. An extra drink after work, adding more projects, taking more meetings. 

This time had to be different.

“Hey, you. I lost track of time. Hope you weren’t waiting too long”.

Asami smiled as Korra’s voice and a soft kiss to the top of her head pulled her from her mind. After she stood, her wife pulled her into a hug.

“Kor! You’re sweaty!” She laughed and pushed Korra back playfully.

“Do I need to shower before we go?”

“I would,” Asami whispered and wiped a smidge of blood from the corner of Korra’s mouth. “And stop letting Kuv make you bleed”.

With a chuckle Korra kissed Asami’s thumb before walking off to the showers.

____________

“Korra?”

“Hmmm?”

“I.. can we.. talk?” Asami’s voice wavered slightly with nervousness. Of course Korra caught it and stopped walking the trail to pull her close, concern on her face.

“Well, yeah. You don’t have to ask. What’s wrong, babe?”

Asami couldn’t quite figure out why she was suddenly so nervous to say the words. They both wanted this. Badly. It may have been too soon, she didn’t want Korra to get upset if it was just a fluke. Thankfully those blue eyes full of concern and love eased her worry just enough to form the words.

“Korra.. I.. I’m pregnant. It worked”.

Her eyes grew wide in shock and excitement. “What?! R-really? It.. wh-what? ‘Sami..”

Asami could see the joyful tears starting to pool in her wife’s eyes and wrapped her into a tight embrace. “It worked this time, Kor. But.. it could still be too early”.

Korra pressed her face to Asami’s shoulder. Deep down she knew there were many risks this early on. So much could still happen in the first trimester. Right now, all those worries and fears were pushed away by the pure happiness she was feeling. 

“Y-you’re not joking, right?”

“I wouldn’t do that to you. Not with how bad I know you want this”. Asami pulled back a bit and took the pregnancy test from her pocket and handed it to Korra.

She took the stick from Asami and stared at the positive mark. It was nearly undeniable. The mark wasn’t faint. Her eyes shot back up to meet green.

“How.. what?! H-how...?”

Thankfully Asami knew what Korra was trying to ask. “Roughly 8-9 weeks, love”.

The statement shattered the rest of Korra’s resolve as she couldn’t fight the tears any longer. She threw her arms around Asami, gripping onto the pregnancy test as they both happily cried together. Finally. After so many failed attempts they were finally expecting.

“Who do we tell?” Korra asked after they had both calmed down a bit and holding Asami’s hips gently.

“I.. don’t know. You know as well as I do that the first trimester is risk filled. And.. there’s a chance that.. um..”

“Miscarriage.. I know.. what is it, 20 weeks before it’s much more unlikely?”

“Y-yeah. But it’s much more likely until I’m out of the first trimester”. Asami tried so hard to push that possibility out of her mind. This had to work this time.

“So we probably shouldn’t tell anyone yet, huh?”

“At least give it a couple more weeks. And then we can just keep it to just Opal and your parents if you want”.

Korra nodded eagerly and pulled Asami in for a kiss. After several donors, both of them trying to conceive, and not getting results, they were finally going to be parents. Months of frustration suddenly didn’t seem so bad now.

________________

“Sweetheart..” Asami groaned and shifted under Korra’s touch.

“Hmm?” She hummed against her neck.

“Stop”. She shoved Korra’s hand from her breast and moved out from under her wife’s weight. Asami wanted sex, but her breasts hurt and she was starting to get a headache.

Propping herself up in her elbow, Korra looked to Asami in concern. “You okay?”

“Just.. it’s hurts, Kor. I do want to, but I just can’t right now”.

“Okay. It’s okay, babe”.

Korra laid herself down next to Asami and gently pulled her onto her chest. Sure, being told no always sucked when she was most definitely in the mood, but she would always respect Asami’s answer. Even just having nonsexual intimacy was just fine with her. So Korra ran her fingers through Asami’s hair, letting her know that her decision was more than okay. A soft sigh escaped her as she felt a warm wetness start to form on her chest.

“Hey, hey. ‘Sami, it’s okay”.

“No, Kor. I’m sorry. I-I want to. I really do,” she managed through sniffles. “I just-“

“It hurts. It’s okay. I want it to feel good, not hurt you. Don’t apologize for needing to stop, okay?” Korra soothed, rubbing her back. 

“I know. Spirits, I don’t even know why I’m crying!”

“Hormones, love”.

Asami brought a hand up and wiped the tears from her face. “And Opal said pregnancy wasn’t bad”.

“I’m sure it’ll get easier. You’re still pretty early in all of this,” Korra said quietly, trailing her fingers down Asami’s bare torso and resting her hand on her lower stomach. “I love you. And the tiny human in there”.

A smile came to Asami’s face as she looked up at Korra and covered the hand on her stomach. She already knew her wife was going to be an amazing parent. Even if she could be a bit reckless herself. A quiet sigh came from Asami as she thought of the many injuries both their child and Korra would likely end up getting together. She knew there was no possible way for her to stop any of it. 

“You’re going to be amazing, Kor”.

“Nah. That’ll be you”.

“Don’t argue,” she mumbled and snuggled closer to Korra, enjoying the skin on skin contact and warmth her wife always seemed to provide.

With a quiet chuckle, Korra pulled the blanket over them both. As much as she wanted to make love to Asami, she was told to stop. And her wife was clearly exhausted and she wasn’t about to try again, even with avoiding her breasts. 

Before long, Korra felt the weight in her arms grow heavier as Asami fell asleep. Not far behind in dozing off, she gave the top of her head a kiss and a smile came to her face. She didn’t think she could get any happier.

_____________

11 weeks. Asami was 11 weeks along and Korra had almost lost another title match because she was so focused on her pregnant wife in the crowd. The questions of if she was okay, how she was feeling, if the noise and smells of the area were bothering her, if watching her take hit after hit was upsetting her, were nearly enough to be completely distracting. A little bloodied and drenched in sweat, she managed to pull through and win by knockout with a hard kick to the side of her opponent’s head. 

And now she had to deal with a mess of reporters and press a few days later. Asami told her to accept the invitation to some formal fighter’s party. Korra didn’t want to drag her wife to it, but it was important or something according to her. 

“Kor?”

“Hold on. I’m almost done. Just.. gotta..” Korra let out a quiet grunt as she struggled with the zipper to her dress. “Got it!”

“What on earth are you doing in there?!” Asami opened the door to the bathroom to make sure she was okay. She never had issues getting dressed before....

_ Holy shit. _

“Uh.. babe?”

“When did you get.. that?” Asami asked, clearly looking Korra up and down.

“Um.. f-for the wedding? I couldn’t decide between the tux and this so.. I kinda got both”.

“Hm”. Asami raised her eyebrow with a smirk. “I don’t blame you for having a hard time deciding. You look.. sexy as fuck, Kor. I guess I’m kinda glad you didn’t pick this”.

A blush quickly rose to Korra’s face under her look and caused her to stammer out one word, “w-why?”

Asami stepped behind Korra and ran a hand down the exposed skin of her back. “For you, a tux just fits your personality for a wedding. This, however, is a perfect gala or formal party dress. Even if I can’t wait to get you back out of it”. 

Korra shivered under warm lips pressed to the back of her shoulder. “S-so you like it?”

“How much more obvious do you need me to make it?” She asked as she wrapped her arms around Korra and ran her hands from her hips down the front of her thighs until she couldn’t reach further while standing. 

Korra nodded and swallowed hard. Through the fog suddenly swimming through her head she knew they needed to finish getting ready. Forcing herself to ignore the desire pooling between her legs she managed to choke out, “y-you.. we.. uh.. we should finish getting ready, huh?”

“Mmmhm. We should. I’ll get you out of..” Asami trailed her eyes up and down her wife again as she left the bathroom, “..that later”.

______________

Maybe this little party was a bit of a dumb idea. Naturally, Korra ended up getting pulled away to go talk to some fighting bigwigs, leaving Asami to mingle around. 

“Would you like a drink, Miss Sato?”

She turned to the voice and fought an eye roll. Just another one of her business partners who still refused to show some respect to her.

“It’s Mrs. now, thank you. And no to the drink”.

“So you finally settled down and got married? My apologies”.

_ Stupid mother fucker. There’s no way he never knew. _

“You’d be the only one who didn’t know.”

“Oh..” his expression changed ever so slightly, one that Asami caught and new exactly where his next statement was going. “So what the media said is true, you actually married her?”

“Yes. I did”, she nearly spat back, feeling her blood coming to a boil. It’s been nearly a year.

“Shame”.

“Excuse me?!”

“A woman with your status, with another woman? Miss Sato, I thought your father would have raised you better”.

“It’s Mrs. you stupid son of a bitch”. Asami squared herself up in front of him. “I could single handedly destroy you and your company if I wanted to. So either show some respect or business with Future Industries will come to an end for you”.

“Is that a threat?”

“It’s a fucking promise”.

Korra came up beside her wife and linked their arms together. “Is there a problem?”

“N-no, Chief. None at all”.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that. You see, I can tell when my wife is upset and you’ve crossed a line, sir. So there is clearly a problem”.

“Kor-“

“There was. But... Mrs. Sato and I have resolved it. Enjoy the gathering, ladies. And congratulations on the win, Chief”.

Korra turned to Asami, concern etched into her features. “Are you okay? What happened?”

“Just.. he’s a homophobic jackass. I’m okay, sweetheart,” Asami whispered and gave Korra a soft kiss. 

“Oh! I know you can’t drink, but they have some orange juice and things to make a mock-tail if you want”.

Asami hummed in approval and they walked arm in arm to the bar. Korra ordered her normal whiskey with a splash of lemon juice and the woman on her arm got a simple orange juice with mint and club soda.

A little more mingling and another drink later, Korra and Asami finally met up with Bolin and Opal, the former taking baby Garnet into her arms with a smile. As the two fighters talked, Asami pulled Opal off to the side.

“She’s gonna be great, hun. How’s.. that going by the way?”

“It’s still early, Opal. I’m nervous it’s just.. that..” Asami sighed. She hated that she felt like even saying it would make it happen. “So much can still happen in these next two weeks”.

“I know. It’s.. scary. There were a few times I thought I was going miscarry, but the spotting turned out to be normal”.

Asami hummed quietly, watching Korra tickle and play with Garnet in her arms in between talking to Bolin. She absentmindedly rested her hand over her stomach with a smile. There was no question Korra was going to be quite the doting mother. 

______________

“Korra, you don’t have to-“ Asami’s words were cut by a low groan rumbling through her chest as Korra’s thumbs dug into the ball of her foot.

“Okay, and?” 

“Shhh..” Asami laid her head back into cushion of the couch, not fully realizing how sore her feet actually were.

Korra chuckled quietly as she kept rubbing the foot in her hand. She knew Asami was sore and tired. Apparently being 25 weeks pregnant will do that to you. And the press sure wasn’t helping the exhaustion.

They stayed in that position, Korra cross legged on the floor in front of the couch and rubbing her wife’s feet and Asami with her head back and hand resting on her bump, for nearly an hour. Asami was almost asleep when a familiar stir flitted through her belly. It startled her awake, which only startled Korra to standing.

“Are you okay, ‘Sami?”

“Yeah,” she whispered and patted the spot next to her for Korra to join, before gently rubbing her bump. “Just moving around again”. 

Korra moved onto the couch next to Asami and rested her hand under her wife’s. “Do you wanna know?”

“I would like to. Do you or do I need to keep that a secret from you?”

Korra scoffed quietly. “Of course I want to know. How else am I supposed to know how I’m gonna spoil our kid?”

“You’re going to spoil them regardless and we both know it”.

A smile broke across Korra’s face as she felt slight movement under her hand. She rested her head on Asami’s shoulder before speaking quietly, “yeah. You’re right”.

“You’re coming with me for the ultrasound, right?” 

“Have I missed an appointment with you yet? Of course I’m coming with you. My dad would be pissed if I didn’t hand off my work to him for your doctor visits. And I wouldn’t want to miss any of this”.

_______________

Korra watched the monitor closely. She gripped onto Asami’s hand with an excited gasp as the image of their child came up on the screen. The baby’s head, outline of a nose, a hand, fingers that were already saying fuck the world. Korra couldn’t help the laugh that came from her, earning a gentle slap to the stomach. 

“Hey, it’s clearly not coming from me. That’s all you, babe”.

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“Your.. sass. They’re going to have your sass and I am doomed,” she laughed again.

“She,” the ultrasound technician added.

“Wha-?”

“Look here”. The tech pointed to the screen. “It’s hard to make out sometimes, but here we have a leg. And this area is the torso. So if she’s facing the right way for us, there’s no penis or scrotum in this area. Chief, Mrs. Sato, it looks like you’re going to be having a little girl. And if that little hand says anything, she’s going to be a spitfire”.

“Just like her mother,” Korra teased, voice more watery than she had hoped.

Asami gripped Korra’s hand tightly. She was at a loss for words. 15 weeks and they would have a little girl in their arms. Both of them had tears trickling down their cheeks and Korra gave Asami’s forehead a kiss. 

After the tech wiped the gel from Asami’s stomach and excused herself out, Korra couldn’t hold back and crashed their lips together. 

“A girl, ‘Sami. We’re having a girl!” She said excitedly. “I’ll bet she’s gonna have your eyes”.

“Hmmm.. I hope they’re blue. I thought we picked a donor from the tribe for a reason”.

“Uh. Yeah. So they would be tan with your eyes. C’mon. That’ll be so cute and I’ll probably have to chase boys.. or girls away”.

Asami rolled her eyes in jest. She could only guess that Korra was both joking and being serious with chasing possible love interests away. There was going to be no shortage of protection for their little one.

_________________

30 weeks, 10 to go. Sometimes Korra wondered if she knew the impending due date better than Asami at times. She had just signed off on another request from another village back in the South when her personal phone rang.

_ Asami? Weird. She rarely calls when she’s at work.. _

“Hey, babe”.

“Can you get to the hospital?”

Korra knew that voice. Her wife had been crying. 

“Of course. A-are you okay? What’s going on?” 

“Just.. Korra, please..”

“Alright. Okay. I’m on my way. I love you”.

“I love you too”.

After Asami ended the call, Korra ran out of her office. She’d text Tonraq on the way. She didn’t have time right now. 

Once she made it to the hospital and was led to the room Asami was in, she felt her heart shatter. The moment their eyes met, her wife fell apart into broken sobs. 

“H-hey. What’s going on?” Korra asked, sitting on the bed next to Asami and taking her hand. “I’m here”.

“I.. k-Korra..” she choked out, resting her free hand on her stomach. 

In that moment, Korra knew. Her stomach turned and heart broke impossibly more.

“No.. n-no! They said.. everything was fine! It.. this can’t be happening. ‘S-Sami.. wh-what?”

All Asami could do was nod solemnly. There was no explanation as to why their little girl was suddenly a stillborn. She had felt like something was off most of the morning, chalking the absence of movement up to the baby just sleeping. As the day wore on, and still no movement, Asami needed to know. And everything had been perfect until it wasn’t. She wished this was just some sick joke, but the doctors confirmed the worst.

They both sat and cried together. The pain and devastation was heavy in the room. The doctor had come in with options for delivery and Asami chose to be induced now. 

A couple hours later, Korra was laying on the bed with Asami, their child in between them. Quiet sobs and sniffles filled the room as the doctors and nurses gave them a few moments alone.

“Yue”. Asami’s voice was barely a whisper.

“Y-yeah. It’s.. it’s perfect,” Korra forced herself to choke out. She could already feel a familiar darkness setting into her chest. 

All Asami felt was hallow after the doctor had taken Yue from their arms. They both agreed on cremation, but none of this seemed real. She could feel herself starting to slip already. All she wanted was a drink. And then some. She never fully noticed Korra had stopped crying and was just staring blankly at the ceiling. Everything just hurt to the point of numbness. 

Everything had been absolutely perfect until it wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I.. I’m so sorry. 😔😭😭
> 
> We all knew a heartbreak was imminent and there was going to be one more in this story. Fear not, we will still get our happy ending. Just gotta deal with more angst for a moment


	46. Chapter 46

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters? One day? It’s been a minute since I pulled that on you all. Had a pretty laid back day today, so I had a ton of extra time to write. Plus it’s another shorter chapter, so it only fits that I give you two today. 😁
> 
> Time to start rebuilding from the heartbreak.

The first month was the hardest. Asami and Korra barely spoke to each other. They were both, for good reason, hurting and weren’t completely sure on how to comfort the other. At times, they didn’t even know what they wanted from each other. It was almost like they would want the opposite. When Korra would want physical comfort, Asami wanted to be left alone. When Asami wanted to be held for a while, Korra was cranky and didn’t want touched. 

They fought and argued a lot the following two months. Asami was growing frustrated that Korra wasn’t crying over it anymore. That she was being so selfless and holding her through her tears and long nights. That she would refuse the comfort Asami wanted to give in return, insisting she was okay. Even if she knew Korra was anything but okay. Even if she knew Korra was going behind her back and doing something she definitely shouldn’t be.

She heard the familiar footsteps of her wife pass by the den where she was curled up on the couch, sketchbook in lap. At least Korra was home before dinner for once.

“Korra, love?” Asami called out and heard the footsteps stop and return to the den.

“Yeah?” Korra stopped and leaned on the doorframe.

“Come sit with me. Just for a little while. Please?”

“Yeah. Sure thing”. Korra forced the stumble from her walk, again, as she made her way to the couch and sat next to Asami. 

Asami took her hand and ran her thumb over her knuckles. “Sweetheart, I know you’re not exactly doing okay. Talk to me”.

“‘Sami, I’m fine. If anything, you’re not. You’re the one who really had to deal with the loss. Yeah, I wanted that. I wanted her more than anything. And yeah, I’m hurting. But I wasn’t the one that was pregnant. That was you and the loss.. it’s greater for you”.

“Damn it, Korra! You’re not fine!” Asami snapped, squeezing Korra’s hand tighter. “Yue was just as much your child as she was mine. You’re allowed to be upset, Kor. You’re allowed to be just as hurt”.

Korra stayed silent for a moment, staring at their intertwined fingers. “I’m fine”.

“I swear to the spirits, Korra.. no. You’re not. You’re drunk”.

She felt her shoulders slump forward.

_ Busted. _

“What the fuck have you been off doing anyhow?! I barely see you until we’re getting ready for bed”.

“Does it even matter?!” Korra snatched her hand back and stood. She didn’t want to fight. Again.

Asami had already caught her smoking pot in their home gym. That ended in a yelling match. Then it was the few fresh lines on Korra’s hips that were discovered when they at least attempted to have sex again. That didn’t end in so much of a yelling match as it did tears. The most recent fight had been over a wad of cash Korra left on her nightstand. She tried to deny the planned use for it, but Asami knew better. 

“It does fucking matter!” Asami also stood. “You’re not talking to me at all about this anymore. You never cry anymore. Fuck, Korra, I know for a damn fact you’re hurting and you won’t let me help you”.

“Well, you caught me. Again. And you have no fucking room to bitch at me this time. You’ve been drinking again too. Not to mention the entire days you spend at work. Sometimes I don’t even get to see you, Asami! Whenever I needed you, you were never there, so yes. I’m fucking internalizing all of this because I just want you to be fucking okay!”.

A tense silence filled the space between them. Asami wasn’t completely aware Korra knew exactly how much she had been drinking again. Or just how absent she had been herself. Korra had needed her and she just wasn’t there. So of course her wife put up a strong front and suffered in silence.

“Kor-“

“Shut up. I don’t need the help anymore. I’m fucking fine”. Korra brushed by Asami and left the den after quietly saying, “I’ll see you at dinner”.

“Korra! Get back here!”

Her demand wasn’t answered with anything more than the sound of a door slamming closed. Asami knew without a doubt she wasn’t okay. She felt horrible fortrying so hard to cope herself that she almost didn’t quite realize how bad Korra was. And now she was completely internalizing everything she was feeling.

_ Shit. Fucking damn it. _

________________

Asami watched quietly as Korra was clearly forcing herself to eat. Anything to give the appearance she was fine. She could tell Korra had been crying. A lot. Maybe she would just fall apart in private. That alone hurt. Asami felt like she should have been there for those times, reassure her wife that they could face this together.

“Kor, I’m.. I’m sorry,” Asami said softly, breaking the silence.

“It’s fine, babe. I shouldn’t have..” she let out a heavy sigh. “I shouldn’t have yelled. I should have just sat with you like you asked”.

“Please, sweetheart, stop doing this. You’re allowed to be upset and hurt and mad. You can lean on me, Kor. For anything. No matter how upset I am. You deserve just as much comfort through this as you’ve been giving me. I’m sorry I was so.. absent from you for so long”.

Korra stayed silent, absently pushing the noodles on her plate around. Asami needed her. That’s all that mattered through all of this. That Asami was at least doing okay. That her wife was still going to work, eating, and sleeping. And not drunk all day, everyday. Korra felt she could just handle herself later.

She was okay with making sure Asami was out of the house for the day before indulging herself in bad habits. Bottles of rum found home in her stomach, a few bowls of pot smoked eased her mind just enough, and occasionally she’d blow through a whole pack of cigarettes before Asami even got home. Korra was okay with cooking whatever her wife wanted for dinner and forcing herself to eat whatever it was, even if she wasn’t hungry in the slightest. 

After Asami was asleep, that’s when Korra would let herself completely break down. She would go, in secret, and sit in the spare room they had prepared, cradle the small urn, and just sit in the middle of the room and sob until she couldn’t. And then she would go back to bed. It was all a routine at this point. It was just easier to fall apart behind everyone’s back, pick up the pieces, and fake being strong in front of everyone. 

“Kor? What’s on your mind?” Asami’s soft voice came and pulled her out of her thoughts again.

“What?” She glanced up into green eyes.

“I can’t read your mind, love. Please.. please talk to me. Let me help you”.

Korra pushed her plate away and put her face in her hands. She gave up forcing the front. It was absolutely exhausting and she honestly couldn’t force the tears back any longer.

“I’m not hungry, ‘Sami,” she muttered through muffled cries. “I’m so tired. So fucking tired and exhausted. Asami, I.. everything hurts”.

Asami quickly stood and went to Korra’s side. She was going to kneel down next to her, talk to her, but was stopped when strong arms wrapped around her waist and her wife’s face was pressed against her stomach to muffle the sobs. Korra hated when she saw her like this. So low. So broken. Asami herself wasn’t fond of the sight either, but she would rather see this over the fake front her wife felt she needed to hide behind.

“Would you like to get to bed, love?”

“Please? I’m so.. I’m tired of fighting”.

“I know,” she whispered, running her fingers through Korra’s hair. “I’ll clean up the rest of dinner. Go on up and lay down, Kor. I’ll be up in a few minutes”.

Korra felt a few fingers come underneath her chin and lift her gaze up. The pure concern for her in the green eyes she was now looking into somehow pulled more tears from her. Asami cupped her face gently and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

“Oh, Korra,” Asami sighed, “I love you. We’re going to get through this. Whenever you’re ready, we can always try again. I know that’s probably not something you want to think about right now, just know it’s still an option for the future, okay?”

Korra nodded into Asami’s hands and let her be helped to her feet and wrapped into a tight hug. She suddenly felt completely safe to fall apart. Maybe she should have let it happen sooner. Of course Asami was always going to be there for her. Why she thought any different, she didn’t know and felt ridiculous for even considering it.

__________________

Even as the months wore on and Korra was a little more forthcoming with her mood and how she was feeling, Asami still felt something was off. She was still going outside frequently, still coming home drunk on occasion. When they had Opal and Bolin come over, she never played with Garnet as enthusiastically and after a few hours was awfully twitchy and antsy to get outside. Unfortunately for them both, Asami was about to find out.

Korra never expected her to get home early. She didn’t know Asami took a half day. She never heard the garage door close. Or the back door. 

“What the fuck?”

She tensed up and looked at the cigarette in her fingers. Hanging her head, she took another hit before turning to face her wife.

“Korra, how long?”

“I.. M-months? Since.. Yue.. I’m sorry I never told you,” she spoke softly as she put the cigarette out.

“You... seriously?! Kor, you’re an athlete. Why would you pick this up?”

Asami was trying to watch her temper, she really was. She tried to rationalize that it could have been worse. It could have been hard drugs again. 

“I’m sorry. It was supposed to be a one time thing and then I wouldn’t touch it again. It.. it helped, okay?”

“Let me guess,” Asami scoffed as she crossed her arms, “you’re addicted aren’t you? Can’t quit?”

“Yup. Like every other idea I’ve had, I fucked up. Clearly all I know how to do is fuck my life up”.

Just as Korra rolled her eyes and went to relight the cigarette, Asami slapped the lighter from her hand and pulled the remnants of the cigarette from between her lips. Before Korra could pick the lighter back up, Asami snatched it from the porch. 

“What the hell, Asami?” She grumbled as her wife put the stick between her own lips and lit it. 

“I used to smoke, Korra,” she answered after blowing a puff of smoke. “Years ago. When I was still in college. It’s a bitch to quit”.

Korra watched, a slight glare settling on her face as she took another hit before continuing.

“Knowing your.. addiction issues, I’m surprised you even allowed yourself one”.

“So you’re just going to finish that and bitch me out?” 

“I don’t really have cravings at all anymore. I thought about it again after all of this, sure. So I understand why you picked it up”. She took another hit. “But you should quit. Especially if you still want kids”.

“I do!” Korra shouted after Asami who flicked the butt to the ground, tossed the lighter back to her, and went back inside.

She groaned in frustration and pulled another out of the pack. After lighting it, she ran a hand through her hair. For as much as Asami said she knew how Korra was feeling, it really felt like she didn’t. She couldn’t.

_______________

Weeks continued to pass. Conversations of their loss and habits dwindled, mostly to avoid fighting. With that came more and more distance between them. Silent dinners were nearly daily. Cuddling up together in bed was slowly becoming a rarity. Sex was nonexistent; not that they didn’t want to, just that it almost felt.. wrong.

Korra gave up trying. She could only take rejection so many times. They were both in such a funk that even she pushed Asami away when she tried to initiate. That’s when they knew there was a real problem growing between them. It sure wasn’t helping that Korra would still be out of the house most of the day and well into the night, some nights finally stumbling through the door in the early morning hours. 

Before Korra could get out of bed and leave her alone again, Asami rolled over and wrapped her arm around her waist tightly. The only acknowledgment she received was a soft grunt.

“Sweetheart,” Asami sighed into her back, “can we please talk?”

“About what?”

“This. Us. Korra, you’re pulling away. Again”. She slowly rubbed up and down Korra’s stomach. “You’re not getting any better, it’s almost like you don’t want to try anymore”.

“Sorry,” Korra barely whispered, covering the hand on her abdomen. “I’m just.. I’m so tired of us fighting when I’m home, drunk or not. ‘Sami.. I.. I love you, you know that, right?”

Asami could feel her heart clench at the way Korra’s voice broke. She had always been more open with her feelings than her wife had ever been. She always felt she grieved faster than average. Korra, on the other hand, struggled with fully expressing her feelings. Always. She was known for bottling and forcing herself to be strong until she just couldn’t.

“I know you do, Kor. I just miss you. You’re.. never home”.

“I know you don’t like seeing me drunk so.. so it’s just easier”. 

“Korra,” she sighed, tightening her hold, “I know you’re still hurting. But.. I’ve noticed you’ve cut back on the smoking. At least at home. Don’t let this keep driving a wedge between us. Please”.

Korra fell painfully silent. She had been spending so much time away from home, drunk, she didn’t even fully notice them growing further apart. 

“Wh-what do I need to do, babe? I’m sorry.I.. I never.. I can go”. Korra swallowed hard, forcing her tears down, and waited for Asami’s grip around her waist to loosen. A grip that only tightened to pull her closer.

“No”.

“What?” 

“Don’t go. Stay in bed with me, Kor. Just.. just for a little while”.

All she could do was manage a nod while she tried to grasp for words to hold a conversation. 

“I.. are you.. are you doing okay? I haven’t exactly been.. present. And I’m sorry for that.. I just.. I’m a mess”.

“I’m.. okay enough, love. I need to know what I can do to help you”. Asami resumed rubbing Korra’s stomach gently. “You’ve been doing so much for me that you’ve.. you’ve all but completely forgotten to take care of yourself. Korra, you can come to me with anything. Always. Let me comfort you. Let me.. love you”.

Korra rolled over in her arms with a broken sob. Asami pulled her head to rest under her chin and smoothed over her hair as she cried into her throat. For now, Asami settled on yes or no questions to attempt to find out what her wife had been doing while she’s not home.

“Have you.. been using again?”

Korra shook her head as another sob shook her shoulders.

“Okay. Good. That’s good. You’ve wanted to though, haven’t you?”

A slightly hesitant nod.

“I know you’ve been drinking. A lot. I can work with that, okay? Just like you did with me and how you’ve been keeping an eye on me now,” Asami whispered and tenderly rubbed the back of Korra’s neck.

Another small nod came from the crying woman in her arms.

“I just.. I need to know one more thing. Have you been hurting yourself?”

Korra clutched onto Asami’s shirt as she started to cry harder with a nod. She knew Asami wanted the truth.

“Oh, Kor,” Asami soothed. “Those are things I can at least work with, alright? We’re going to get through this. You just need to talk to me and come to me. This isn’t something only I need comfort for. This.. Yue.. she affected both of us”. She let her fingers trace along the leather of Korra’s necklace. “And, Korra, I really do mean forever. Through all the bad and good times, I’ll always choose and want you. It may still be a little while for both of us, but someday we will have a little family of our own”.

Korra nodded again and managed to choke out between her cries, “broken bits and all”.

“Yes, sweetheart,” Asami sniffled as she couldn’t choke back her own tears, “broken bits and all”.

And for the first day in months, Korra actually stayed home with her wife. Even if it was a day mostly spent in bed just talking and snoozing together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: more coping, less time jumps, more feels, and eventually some good news 🥺


	47. Chapter 47

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for a brief hint of suicidal ideation.
> 
> Also, sometimes antidepressants are RUDE. But if you’re put on them, keep taking your meds, kids. You’re on them for a reason ❤️❤️
> 
> But also: smut.

“Korra? ... Korra. Korra!”

Korra shifted her gaze from the water to look at Bolin. “What?”

“I asked how you were doing. You just.. you seem.. lost? If that makes sense”.

“Bo..” she breathed out, reeling her line in and then casting it out again. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay?”

“I’m just worried about you. You’ve been losing fights. And when you do win, it’s just barely. You also don’t seem.. Uh.. how do I put this..?” Bolin scratched his cheek. “You’re not as.. enthusiastic when you play with Garnet”.

“Isn’t fishing supposed to be relaxing?” She grumbled, reaching into her cooler and grabbing a beer. “Want one?”

Letting out a sigh, he nodded and caught the can tossed to him. “Listen, you need to talk about this. You can’t keep.. internalizing”.

“It’s been six months. I’m fine”.

Bolin looked at his friend in great concern as she turned back to the water, beer in one hand and pole in the other. He knew she still wasn’t doing okay. Not with the way her fights and training have been going. Not with the way she would give Garnet a toy and all but blatantly shoo her away. Not with the way it was a rarity to see her without a beer or some other alcoholic drink in one hand, an occasional cigarette in the other.

“You know why it took us so long?”

“Bo! I don’t want to talk about kids!” She shot him a hard glare. “Seriously. Fucking stop”.

“Korra, we lost our first two!” Bolin shouted in exasperation, the start of tears in his eyes.

She nearly dropped her pole as her expression softened. Obviously she didn’t know. She hadn’t been around for years and anything could have happened in that time. Hell, even Asami had a pregnancy scare in that time. 

“They.. they were both miscarriages. Both times the only ones who knew were Su and Baatar. The one was really early on, like.. 9 weeks or something. The other.. that one was around 13 or 14 weeks”. Bolin reeled in his line and cast it back out. “It’s not that we weren’t trying, we just..”

“You were scared to try again. Scared of.. the loss”.

“Yeah,” Bolin said quietly and took a drink from his beer. “But, look. We kinda decided we would never know if we didn’t at least give it a shot again. And now we got Garnet. Korra, the loss hurts. And it’s scary. Spirits, pregnancy is scary at times. Let yourself feel it, okay?”

Korra bit her lip and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. “Yue was 30 weeks, Bo. And.. and.. for some reason.. her heart just stopped? I feel like a miscarriage would have hurt, sure, but not like this. It’s not fair. If.. if I’m being honest, I’m jealous. That’s why I.. don’t play with Garnet as much”.

Bolin nodded slowly. “I figured. And I’m not mad. Just.. worried. I know it’s probably still too early for you two, but don’t be afraid to try again. Let yourself feel the loss, stop being so damn stoic all the time when you’re clearly dying inside. Let us help you. Let Asami help you”.

She let out a soft sigh with silent tears running down her cheeks. Korra wanted to start a family, but with losing Yue so late in pregnancy she was so scared to go through that loss again. 

_ But we’ll never know if we don’t at least try. _

“Thanks, Bo,” she said quietly with a trace of a smile appearing on her face.

“For what?”

Setting her beer in the grass, she stood and jerked her pole to hook a fish with a quiet grunt. The fabric of her T-shirt would occasionally cause the cuts on her shoulders to sting. “For talking to me. Letting me know it’s okay to be scared, but also that it’s not a bad thing to want to try again”.

“Of course,” Bolin said with a smile. “Trust me, I know it’s hard and pretty terrifying. But it’ll be so worth it”.

“Maybe not yet,” Korra started, slightly fighting with the fish as she reeled it in, “but someday I think I’ll be ready to try again”.

“Take your time to grieve. Just don’t forget you do have people to help you through it”.

“Yeah..” 

A genuine smile came to her face as she brought the fish in and got it off the hook. Rainbow trout. She’s heard of rainbow babies and couldn’t help but take the fish as a sign from the spirits. Giving the fish a quick peck, Korra released it back into the water. Yeah, she was going to be a mother someday. And hopefully sooner rather than later.

“You’re a weirdo. Who kisses a fish before letting it go?”

“It’s.. a tribe thing you wouldn’t understand,” she teased, not wanting give away her thoughts.

_ Thanks, Yue. You’ll get a sibling. I promise. _

________________

Asami ran her hands down Korra’s stomach, ever so slightly dragging her nails. She was frustrated. They had sex over the previous several months, but it just didn’t feel as satisfying as usual. Korra was fantastic as always at pleasing her. She always made sure Asami got off both physically and mentally. But something was... off.

Korra arched into Asami’s touch with a groan. She had to show her wife she wanted this. Even if she almost didn’t. Korra pulled her up so she had Asami’s glistening folds hovering inches from her face, knees on either side of her head. 

Asami let out a soft gasp at the hot tongue suddenly swirling around her clit and warm, strong hands gripping her ass cheeks. Korra groaned into her core as she started rolling her hips. She gripped onto the headboard as that wicked tongue plunged into her opening, a pleased moan coming from underneath her. Korra was going to quickly unravel her with the way she was licking and sucking, obviously enjoying herself and the way Asami tasted.

Quickly, too quickly, Asami came undone. One hand fisted into Korra’s hair, the other gripping to the headboard, she let out a shuddered moan as her legs trembled around her wife’s head. And that damned mouth wasn’t letting up as she continued to lick and suck every drop of Asami’s warm wetness she earned away.

As Asami got herself from Korra’s face, she started trailed her lips down her body, nipping at the taught muscle as she went. Korra knew what was coming next. Asami wanted to share the pleasure. Korra wanted it, her body making that much obvious as she could feel a drop of her arousal run from her opening. 

A low moan left her lips as two fingers easily slipped into her. It felt fantastic as normal, every pump and hook drawing out a gasp or moan as she rocked her hips to the rhythm. She grew even louder when a warm mouth joined the mix, attacking her swollen clit. Spirits, she wanted this. And then the same shit that’s been happening for a couple months creeps in again. 

Numbness. Korra knows she’s feeling pleasure, she just can’t actually feel it. Again. She tried to fight the annoyed sigh, but it actually slipped out this time.

Asami pulled her mouth away and slowed her fingers, furrowing her brows in concern. “Sweetheart?”

“Don’t stop,” she growled.

_ Please, just stop. _

“Korra, what’s going on? Do you not want to?”

“I do, babe. I really do. Please..”

Hearing the strain in her voice, Asami removed her fingers. Something was wrong. “Kor, what’s wrong?”

“I... I can’t feel it”.

“I’m going to need you to elaborate, love,” she said calmly, crawling up to lay next to Korra. 

“It’s like.. I just go numb. ‘Sami.. I don’t know what the hell.. I’m sorry”. She sat up quickly, about to stand when a hand gently grabbed her wrist.

“How long has this been happening?”

“A.. couple months,” she sighed in resignation. Her wife caught her in yet another stupid lie. 

“So you’ve been faking it? Spirits, Korra. Why don’t you let me know these things?!”

“Babe, can you not yell? Please? I didn’t say anything because I want you to feel good. And trust me, you make me feel amazing up until I just can’t feel it. I jus-“

“But you’ve been faking it. Every supposed orgasm I’ve given you?! Damn it, Kor. Sex isn’t supposed to be one sided”.

Korra snatched her hand away, irritation growing. “It’s because of that increased dose of my medication. Sexual side effects are super common I guess. It’s whatever. As long as I still make you feel amazing, I’m fine”.

Asami watched as Korra pulled her clothes back on. She was getting tired of the lies, regardless of how small they ended up at times. The main one she was fed up with completely was Korra saying she was fine when it was obvious she wasn’t.

“Korra, I’m tired of this”.

“What?” She asked, turning back to the bed to see Asami sitting up.

“I’m tired of you lying to me. How many times have I caught you in one now? What else are you not telling me? Who is it this time, Korra?”

“Excuse me?!” Korra shouted a cold glare settling onto her face. “I fucking eat you out like that and you seriously think I’m cheating on you?!”

“You have before. Why else wouldn’t you let me return the favor when you’re quite obviously in the mood?” Asami shot back, matching the glare.

“I already told you. It’s the fucking medication! Fuck, Asami! If I didn’t have to take the shit, I’d probably be able to get off in maybe three minutes tops. I’m so fucking tired of it myself! I hate that sometimes I take forever. It’s not fair to constantly have to have you work and work and try to get my there when I can barely feel anything, so yes! I fucking fake it sometimes!”

Asami felt the tears welling up in her eyes. She knew she over stepped with the accusation and now Korra was clearly pissed off. This wasn’t at all what she meant for them to talk about. 

“K-Korra, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t-“

“Just stop. Is that what you really fucking think of me?”

“No!” Asami pleaded, getting up from the bed, “Korra, no. I’m just.. I’m sorry”.

Scoffing, she took a step back towards the door. “You’re what? What are you trying to say, Asami?!”

“Sweet-“

“Do you really think I want kids so bad I’m just going out and getting fucked and hoping for it to happen?!”

“Korra! No!” Asami picked her robe up off the floor and put it on. “Spirits, Korra, no. I don’t think that. Faking it just.. it’s not like you. I’m upset that you didn’t tell me what was going on. Again. I thought you said you’d talk to me about.. anything”.

“You’re getting what you need and want. I get what I can. ‘Sami, I have no issue getting off physically, as I’m quite sure you know. The issue is.. I have one hell of a time getting the endorphin rush, the mental orgasm. It’s not fair to you to have to work forever to get me there, okay?”

Korra turned to leave the bedroom. Asami wouldn’t understand the frustration behind the medication. And now she thought she was cheating. Again. Or at least that’s what it seemed like. 

Asami grabbed Korra’s wrist to prevent her from leaving. She didn’t like the look in her wife’s eyes that she caught a glimpse of. 

“Hey, it’s not fair for you to not be able to get there. I’ll do whatever I have to, no matter how long. And-“

“I’ll talk to Tenzin about it,” she muttered and pulled her hand away. “I need to be alone right now”.

“No. Korra, no”.

Korra spun with tears in her eyes that were threatening to spill over. “I’m so tired of fighting with you, Asami! If you think I’m cheating, fine. Think that. Don’t worry, tribal chiefs have great life insurance”.

“Korra!” Asami hissed, grabbing her wrist again. “Don’t you fucking dare. I’m tired of us fighting too. We need to talk. We need to get on the same page about everything or these outbursts are going to keep happening. Just, spirits, all I want is for you to stop hiding away inside yourself and lying to me. I want to know when you’re not fine. You were doing so well there for a little while, opening up to me. What happened?”

“I’m terrible at this whole.. grieving thing. One minute I’m doing okay and the next I’m.. this. And I’m fighting so damn hard to not relapse with everything. I’m trying so hard to quit smoking. And damn it, it’s been weeks since I felt a blade”.

Korra let Asami bring her back to bed. Everything felt heavy and she just didn’t have the energy to fight against her. Even crying was exhausting and all she could manage was just letting the tears silently run from her eyes as she stared at the ceiling. 

“Can we please talk, Korra? What’s going on?”

“Tomorrow, ‘Sami. Please,” she sighed. 

“I’ll be right here if you change your mind, love,” Asami replied quietly, resting her head on Korra’s chest.

__________________

Asami sighed as she stuffed her phone back into her pocket. Another call went to Korra’s voicemail. She knew her wife said she had some important tribe things to deal with today, but it was unlike her to continue her meetings and paperwork so late. At least, late by Korra’s standards. She was normally finished up well before Asami herself was off work. 

What worried her the most was that they had a routine. Especially over the past few months. Asami would call after work, a discussion of what would be for dinner would usually happen, and Korra would hang up to either let the chef know or just start cooking it herself. There were two missed calls so far.

Things were finally starting to get better, more back to normal after they spent an entire day talking a few months prior. They both yelled, cried, left rooms to cool off. Korra still hated talking about how she was feeling, but finally opened up enough to finally tell Asami how she felt it was easier to deal with everything besides what she was feeling. That she felt like an extra emotional burden even asking for a little comfort. Asami admitted she was still grieving herself, that she hated seeing Korra do the things she was doing to herself, that she just wanted her wife to accept the comfort, help, and love she desperately wanted to give.

Asami couldn’t help but wonder why she wasn’t answering. Communication was back to near normal, rarely a secret between them, unless it was a surprise lunch together. 

“Korra, love?” Asami called out, setting her purse down and taking her jacket off by the door. Not receiving a response, she took her heels off and placed them next to Korra’s boots.

_ Well, at least she’s home. _

She took a glance in the den, mildly hoping her wife had fallen asleep on the couch. When Korra wasn’t there, her anxiety started to rise. The blue eyed woman may have been a little more open about her thoughts, but a lack of a response with her history was concerning.

Asami glanced into the pool room with a sigh. She knew if Korra wasn’t in the gym, she would likely start to panic. Continuing down the hall, she began to hear a very familiar playlist and a smile came to her face. Sometimes her anxiety could easily get the best of her. 

As she opened the door, she coughed slightly. Why Korra turned the heat up so high in the gym was beyond her. She found her wife hanging upside down, clutching a weight plate to her chest, from the pull-up bar. A crooked smile came to her face as her eyes met Asami’s and she dropped the plate to the floor.

“Heya, babe. You’re home already?”

Asami walked up to her and kissed her lower stomach tenderly. “I’ve been off work for about an hour, love. I think I see why you didn’t answer my calls”.

“S-sorry. I.. um.. kinda got caught-“ a deep moan came from her as Asami’s lips trailed along the waistband of her spandex shorts.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” she breathed over the front of Korra’s shorts as she felt hands trail up the backs of her thighs. “You might want to get down though. I don’t want you passing out from all the blood rushing to you head”.

Korra let out a chuckle as Asami backed up so she could lift herself up, clearly putting on a show of her abs, and get down from the bar. As soon as she turned to face her wife, she was taken by surprise with a hot and hungry kiss. 

Quick fingers unwrapped her chest and she knew exactly what Asami wanted. She brought her hands up between them ripped her shirt open without much thought, sending the buttons scattering across the floor. 

“Korra”. Her voice came out somewhere between a moan and a sigh as hungry lips attacked her neck. She kinda did like that shirt. 

Korra tugged Asami’s shirt off her shoulders and tossed it to the floor before quickly removing her bra to join it. Heavy breaths were hot on each other’s skin as mouths roamed, kissing and biting at exposed flesh. Hands gripped and pulled for closeness as desire in them both continued to rise. 

They had sex a few times since their fight, Korra holding true and speaking to Tenzin about the medication. He had given her something to help mitigate the sexual side effects, and it definitely helped. The first time she had taken it, it only took roughly five minutes before Korra was screaming Asami’s name. But even since then, they never moved so fast. Usually more foreplay was involved, but it seemed the heat of the gym was only adding fuel to their inner flames.

Korra’s fingers fumbled at the button of Asami’s pants, desperate to remove the offending item. Groaning in frustration against Asami’s neck, she gave a sharp tug that only resulted in the button ripping through her pants. 

“Korra! C-calm down. I..” Asami moaned and tangled her hand into Korra’s hair as teeth sunk into her shoulder, “I n-need these cl-clothes”.

“I’ll replace them,” she growled back before slowly trailing blazing kisses down Asami’s torso and giving a sharp nip to the skin of her lower stomach.

Korra roughly pulled Asami’s pants down and helped her get her feet out before throwing them over her shoulder. Everything felt like it was on fire. She looked up at Asami, green eyes matching her own with a burning desire. A smirk fell to her face as she hooked her fingers into the waistband of red lace panties.

“Sweetheart,” Asami panted, “I swear-“

As much as she didn’t want any more of her clothes ruined by her very horny wife, the sight and sound of her panties being torn from her body sent a shiver down her spine. Any thought she had of caring about the clothing that was destroyed was quickly voided by the hot tongue running through her folds. Asami dug her fingers into Korra’s scalp as her eyes snapped shut from the pleasure and knees began to weaken.

The extra weight of her wife using her for support didn’t go unnoticed by Korra. She pulled her mouth away and before Asami could protest, stood and picked her up. Seeing that she was still about to complain, Korra captured her lips in a needy kiss and carried her to the sparring mat. She really didn’t want to have either of them hurt by dumbbells or weight plates being accidentally grabbed and falling on them.

After laying Asami down gently, she tugged off her shorts and threw them aside. Just as she was about to settle in between her thighs, a leg was thrown around her shoulders and the momentum was used to flip her to her back. Korra’s eyes locked with Asami’s as she grabbed a firm hold of her ass and brought her core to her mouth.

Asami tossed her head back with a loud drawn out moan and bucked her hips. Korra was, without a doubt, flawless with her mouth and she knew she wouldn’t be long if that tongue of hers kept working her in all the right ways. She continued to rock her hips into Korra’s face, shuddering at the hum against her clit. Asami dug her nails into her wife’s scalp when one of her hands moved from her ass to easily push three fingers into her. 

The moans above Korra grew louder and higher as she wasn’t hesitating with giving quick, rough hooks to Asami’s sweet spot. A couple more paired with suction and rolling her tongue over the clit in her mouth caused the woman sitting on her face the lean forward with a choked scream. 

That wasn’t enough for Korra. She continued drilling her fingers into Asami and flicking her tongue over clit until her wife was shaking. Asami had tried to lift herself from Korra’s face, only to be held in place tighter. Korra continued until Asami’s juices were dripping from her hand and the ends of her hair were wet with more than just sweat. 

“Mmm,” Korra hummed proudly and guided Asami’s hips back until she was seated on her chest. “Feel better, love?”

“Sp-spirits, Kor,” Asami panted, trying to get her bearings back. “How am I supposed to top that?”

“You can always top me,” she laughed.

“Oh, shush”. Asami moved off of Korra and settled between her legs. Seeing how wet she was for her, a smirk came to her face. “Or rather... don’t”.

“Wha- A-Asami!” 

Korra dug her head back into the mat as Asami plunged two fingers into her, a hot and hungry mouth quickly joining. She knew she was aroused and sensitive. But suddenly she was fully aware of how close she already was. There was no way she’d be lasting more than a few minutes. And Asami knew it. 

Asami pumped her fingers hard and quick, making sure to hit Korra’s favorite spot with each thrust. Her tongue continued to swirl around and flick at her clit with hunger. Soon enough, the gym was filled with Korra’s encouragement of moans and whimpers. Strong hands fisted into her hair as hips rocked into her mouth with each thrust of her fingers.

Even as Korra came hard with a scream to the ceiling, Asami only quickened her pace. She was going to make damn sure she got every last drop from her wife. Korra’s shaking legs were like a vise around her head as she came over and over, soaking the mat and Asami’s chin. 

Asami knew she was spent when her abdominals were only twitching and all Korra could do was whimper in ecstasy. Removing her fingers and prying her legs open, she wiped her chin and trailed kisses back up to her mouth. They shared a lingering kiss, tasting themselves on each other, before she laid down next to Korra and pulled her close.

“So, why’d you kick the heat up in here?”

Korra barely opened her eyes to look to Asami. “Sweating the nicotine out as best as I can”.

“Yeah? How’s quitting going by the way?”

“I.. I’m done with it. I smoked my last one this morning. You said no kids until I quit”.

Asami propped herself up on her elbow. “Kor.. quitting cold turkey is rough and-“

“I think I’m ready for us to try again. But only if you are. No kids until I quit, right? So I’m quitting”.

“A-are you?”

“Yeah,” Korra whispered with a small smile. “I’m sure”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At least Korra’s ready to try again maybe??


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All I’m going to say before this chapter is.. 
> 
> More by Halsey. 
> 
> That’s it. That’s the song for the past few chapters.

Asami grabbed Korra’s hand and placed it on her stomach under her shirt. Korra looked to her in sympathy, adjusted so Asami was laying between her legs, and pulled her closer on the couch. She knew that Asami would occasionally have terrible cramps from her period and sometimes all she wanted to do was cuddle up and use her hand as a heating pad. 

“Bad month, babe?” She whispered and kissed the top of her head, gently rubbing her stomach.

“Spirits, yes,” Asami sighed, leaning back against her wife. “I swear if we didn’t want kids, I’d just get rid of it all”.

“I think most of us would, honestly,” Korra chuckled. “Do you want anything? Food, something to drink, an actual heating pad?”

“I’m fine just like this, Kor”. 

Asami closed her eyes, letting her head rest back against Korra’s shoulder. Every now and then, she would have a rough month and swear up and down that her uterus was trying to kill her. Her back hurt, the cramps would sometimes make her incredibly nauseous, headaches would sneak up on her and hit with full force. None of it was out of the ordinary. Not quite.

She covered Korra’s hand with her own with a smile. They both still had their moments of flashes of grief, but they had finally agreed it was going to be okay to start trying again. Asami just wanted the spotting to just go into her full flow so she could get her week of hell finished. That’s all this was. Just waiting for Mother Nature to get it over with.

Korra pulled a throw blanket over Asami and her own legs before changing the channel on the TV. She settled on the news, mostly because no other good sports or adult cartoons were on. Plus the background noise was nice, even if she were to fall asleep. 

“Can you turn the TV down?”

“It’s not even- okay. Yeah”. Korra just muted the volume instead of constantly being told to lower it. “Are you sure you’re okay? I don’t remember the last time you had a cycle this bad, babe”.

“I’m okay. Probably just dehydrated. I didn’t really drink a whole lot of water at work today”.

“‘Sami,” Korra groaned with a pout. “We talked about this! You gotta eat and drink water even if you’re swamped with work!”

Asami let out a quiet laugh. They had in fact talked about how she tends to skip meals and drink nothing but coffee when she had a lot of work to plow through. Many times.

“I know, I know, love. I’m sorry!I got really side tracked with the code updates for a few buildings downtown. And a few roadwork projects. Especially that highway interchange”.

“You’re taking tomorrow off”.

Asami sat up and shot Korra a soft glare. “I can’t, Kor”.

“Yeah, you can. And I think you need to”. Korra wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled Asami back down on top of her. “You gotta listen to your wife sometimes, ya know”.

Too tired and too crampy to put up much of a fight, Asami rested back down against Korra. Maybe she did need a bit of a break from work. 

“Fine. But you gotta be my personal heating pad all day,” Asami teased, pressing a loving kiss to the side of her neck.

“You got it, babe. But also, your personal heating pad is going to make sure you eat and drink plenty of water”.

“Kor-“

“When I first started my oh-so-wonderful cycle, I got the worst cramps and headaches and nausea that I would miss school. Eventually my mom took me to see Katara and come to find out.. I was really dehydrated and that alone made everything else worse. So, yeah. Tomorrow you’re gonna get rehydrated and I’ll be your heating pad”. 

Korra shot her a warm smile and kissed her cheek.

“Spirits, you’re such a dork,” she chuckled and pulled the blanket back over them. “But okay. You win this time”.

Humming softly, Korra returned her hand to Asami’s stomach. A part of her felt bad for hoping their most recent try to conceive actually worked. She knew Asami’s periods could really get the best of her sometimes and that’s probably all this was. Even her own could make her stay in bed for a day or two, so she understood. Shaking her mind from the possibility, Korra closed her eyes and let her wife’s steady breathing and weight against her ease her into a nap.

______________

“What am I supposed to tell her?” Asami asked, bouncing Garnet on her lap. 

“Um, the truth,” Opal said calmly, smiling at her giggling daughter. “You and I both know you’re going to start showing really soon. Asami, you’re almost out of the first trimester. You gotta tell her”.

“I know. It’s just.. I don’t want her to get so excited like last time and have her crash again. Korra’s... more or less back to normal finally”.

With a quiet sigh, she looked over to where her wife and Bolin had set up to fish. Naturally they were comparing the sizes of the fish they must have just caught. And Bolin’s must have been bigger by the pout Asami could just barely make out on Korra’s face. Shaking her head with a smile, she turned her attention back to the toddler on her lap and tickled her sides.

“Asami?”

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“That I’m kinda surprised she hasn’t noticed anything yet”.

“Oh, trust me. I’ve been making sure she hasn’t noticed anything too unusual. The cramping and bloating is just because of my period, mood swings from a bad day at work, I try to not let her catch me snacking too often, and I deal with my own cravings and nausea. This is just one of those times I’m glad she can be a little oblivious”.

“Okay, Asami, I love you and all, but you gotta tell her. How far along did you say you were?”

“About 11 weeks from what my doctor says”. Asami sat back against the bench after turning Garnet around on her lap so she could see Bolin and Korra. “And before you say it, yes, I’m aware I’m not going to be able to hide it much longer”.

“Who else knows?”

“Just you. And my doctor. I know she probably should have been the first person I told, but.. I didn’t want to get her hopes up. Just in case”.

“That’s completely understandable,” Opal said, lightly toying with the ends of her daughter’s hair. “You know, I wanted to wait to tell Bo about her until I was further along. If he wouldn’t have guessed, I probably would have. Avoiding some of your normally favorite foods definitely gives it away”.

Asami returned a wave and smile Korra gave to her. Thankfully, she didn’t have a whole lot of aversions that turned her stomach. She ate pretty normally if she wasn’t randomly nauseous. The aversions she did have were only to Korra after she had been working out, the seal jerky Tonraq would send up on occasion, and most sweets. And at least they were easy enough to get around. Korra always took a shower after a workout, the jerky just wasn’t something she always wanted or craved before pregnancy, and sweets were already a hit or miss thing with her. So far, it was all easy enough to hide. 

“Any cravings you’ve cried over yet?”

Asami couldn’t help but laugh. “Just the one I can’t do anything about until I tell Korra. I haven’t mentioned it at all just because it’ll give it all away. Fried seal blubber, Opal”. She wanted to shudder at the thought of it, but all it did was spark her appetite. “It’s gotta be the worst Southern snack I’ve ever had. It’s awful. And now, a whole plate of it sounds so damn good”.

“At least you’ll be able to have it eventually. One that I cried about a lot was mimosas. Bo even tried to make one without the alcohol and I still cried. I wanted the real thing! I craved that one thing for almost 10 months!”

“Well.. I’m glad I don’t have anything that crazy”. 

Asami put Garnet down and stood while the toddler had a tight hold on a few of her fingers. Opal joined them just as Bolin and Korra were returning from their fishing location, a cooler between them.

“Yet,” she whispered and nudged Asami.

The two set the cooler on the ground and Korra watched as Bolin excitedly picked his daughter up to hold her. Asami caught the longing look on her wife’s face and rested a hand on her stomach. She knew she needed to tell her. 

Shaking off the painful envy of her friend, Korra wrapped Asami in a hug with a quick kiss. “Hope you’re still down for that fish fry tonight. We... kinda got carried away”.

Asami shook her head with a laugh when Korra opened the cooler. There was enough fish to easily feed a small army. Sometimes she wondered why Korra was allowed to do anything with Bolin, especially if the activity could be turned into a competition. All Asami could do was hope that nothing would be set on fire by the end of the night. 

_________________

After everyone had their fill, Asami and Opal started up a movie while Garnet enjoyed some time toddling around. Korra and Bolin set up a game of jenga in the middle of the floor. 

As the tower fell, again on Bolin’s turn, the toddler took no time in grabbing one of the blocks and turning directly towards Korra.

“Hey, can we have that back?”

“Yes!”

“Okay, cool,” Korra chuckled and held her hand out.

Garnet took the few steps to her and slapped her hand a few times.

“The block, Garnet. Can I please have the block?”

The little girl promptly threw the block at Korra, hitting her in the arm. 

“She, uh, hasn’t quite grasped the concept of handing things to people,” Bolin said, reaching over and picking his daughter up. “That wasn’t very nice, sweetie. What do you say to Korra?”

“I sow.. sorwy, kowwa”.

“Just don’t do it again, kiddo. I forgive you,” Korra said with a small, yet almost sad smile. 

When Bolin let Garnet go, she toddled up to Korra and climbed onto her lap, tossing her little arms around her neck in a hug.

“No sad,” came the little voice next to her ear.

“I.. I’m okay, Garnet,” Korra whispered, returning the small hug while choking back tears. 

All Asami could do was watch the little interaction with tears in her eyes. She knew Korra was going to be an amazing mother. Her wife has always been so gentle with kids, always enthusiastic when she played with them, and always made sure they were having a blast. Korra wanted that and it was taking everything Asami had to not just announce her wife’s wish right then and there. It was something that needed to be said in private.

“Tell her, Asami. She wants it,” Opal said just quiet enough for Asami to hear.

“Spirits, I know. You know how she can get though. I.. I don’t want her to get her hopes up and be too excited just in case.. something happens again”.

“You’re going to start showing in the next couple weeks, hun. If I were you, I’d tell her before that happens”.

Asami watched as Garnet toyed with the pendant of Korra’s necklace while she took her turn pulling a block from the tower with a hand that wasn’t holding onto the toddler. “I know, I know. Just.. give me another week. I’ll tell her then”.

Before long, Asami had Korra laying between her legs with her head on her chest sound asleep on the couch. She was glad they had decided on biweekly movie nights with Opal and Bolin. It really helped with getting life returned to mostly normal.

Looking around the room, a smile came to her face. Bolin was passed out on the floor, bowl of popcorn on his chest. Opal was reclined in a chair with Garnet sleeping in her arms, still watching the last bit of their third movie. Asami let her eyes fall closed, not completely sure if it was Korra’s warmth or the fatigue of growing another human making her drowsy. Whatever it was, she was soon asleep.

__________________

Asami paced the kitchen quietly. Stopping in front of the refrigerator, she opened it again and glanced down at her stomach.

“What in spirit’s name do you want,” she muttered. “We have plenty of options and yet, none of it sounds particularly good? You better not be like this when you’re older”.

As she picked up a carton of eggs, her stomach turned and all she could do was groan and put it back. Before she hit the 12th week, finding something to eat was a nonissue. Now, the tiny child was suddenly incredibly picky on what was allowed.

“Babe?”

Asami turned to see a very sleepy Korra in the doorway. She was grasping for anything to pass off why she was in the kitchen well before her alarm for work was set to go off. And why Korra was even awake at this hour.

“Hi, sweetheart. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m good,” she said around a yawn. “Just.. bad dream is all. You weren’t in bed so I came down for a light snack and some water. Did you set your alarm early or something?”

“Y-yeah. I, um, wanted to get an early start on that damn blueprint for that new housing district. Do you.. need to talk about the dream?”

Korra shrugged and pulled a glass from the cupboard. “Same shit but not as bad”.

“Kor.. are you sure about that?”

“I’m sure, babe. Zaheer chokes me, you beat some dude’s ass, and I wake up. Those.. nightmares aren’t nearly as bad as they used to be”.

“If you say so,” Asami whispered and wrapped her arms around Korra from behind.

“You rarely eat breakfast unless I make you. So.. what’re you doing in here?”

“I just needed a snack before I get to work. Even if I don’t eat it right away. You know how fast I can lose track of time”.

Korra set her glass on the counter after taking  a few drinks of water and turned in Asami’s arms. Her wife had been acting a bit weird lately, and this was definitely out of the ordinary. Sure, she could be seen as a workaholic at times, but Asami was rarely up more than an hour before her alarm.

“Okay, what’s going on, ‘Sami? You’re acting really, really.. off”.

“What? No, I’m okay, sweetheart. It’s just.. this project is huge and-“

“Asami, love. There’s something more than that. I haven’t seen you this exhausted from work. Ever. No offense, but you’ve also been kinda snappy lately. If it really is work, I’m sorry for prying”. Korra rested her hands on Asami’s hips. “But if it’s not work, or something more, I want to know. And what I can do to help. I love you, you know”.

“I love you too, Kor”.

_ I need to tell her. Damn it, she deserves to know. I’ve already waited this long. _

“C-can we go sit down? We.. need to talk about some things”.

Korra stayed quiet for a breath before speaking again. She absolutely hated hearing those three words, no matter if the reason behind them was good or not. 

“Um.. yeah. We can”.

Asami led her to the den and sat on the couch, inviting Korra join her. Once she did, although a little hesitantly, Asami took her hand.

“I wanted to tell you this for a while now, Korra. I really did. I was just.. scared, worried. I didn’t want to get your hopes up and you to get excited... and then something happen-“

“Asami,” she breathed, squeezing the hand in hers with tears in her eyes. “Are you..?”

“Yes, sweetheart. I am. We’re.. going to have a baby in roughly 28 weeks”.

“Wh-what?” Korra’s voice hitched. “Y-you’re really sure?”

Asami nodded, tears starting to pool into her eyes. “I’m about 12 weeks, Kor. I’m almost out of the first trimester”.

“But.. why.. why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t. I really wanted to be certain I wasn’t going to miscarry, even if the doctor did say everything was progressing perfectly. Korra, sweetheart, I didn’t want your heart to shatter like that again”.

Korra nodded into the hand that was placed on her cheek. She understood why Asami didn’t want to bring it up completely. Admittedly, she probably would have done the same thing had the situation been reversed. It was a perfectly valid reason.

“I.. I understand. I guess, uh,” Korra let out a tearful laugh, “that explains why you’ve been acting the way you have been. But you’re serious?”

“Spirits, Korra, yes. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow if you want to join me. And what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Your, uh, mood swings lately? And of course I want to go with you. What kind of question is that?”

Korra forced the fear of another loss down. She needed to let the excitement and happiness win this time. Asami was essentially past the first trimester and the risk of miscarriage was only going to decrease by the day. The fear kept telling her it didn’t matter considering what happened with Yue at 30 weeks. 

That side of her couldn’t win. She wouldn’t let it. This was the second time they tried to conceive since their loss. This time had to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But hey everyone! I’m back in Ohio (unfortunately. Where did all of this snow come from? 😩) and I didn’t completely freak out on the plane. Granted.. I MAY have needed my pill for panic.. but it was okay. Even if I did almost pass out on the second takeoff (lame connection flight. Blah) only because I forgot to breathe as the plane lifted off the ground 😂😅
> 
> I was trying to get this done yesterday, but I legit slept almost all day. I’m gonna try my best to give you all another chapter this weekend before I get back to work come Monday. 
> 
> But for real, the past few chapters. More by Halsey. That is all
> 
> ❤️❤️🌈


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter... but it sets us up for so many possibilities in the nearish future 😁😏

********

Korra locked her legs around Asami’s hips as kisses grew deeper. She rolled her own hips up, all but begging her wife to thrust the dildo into her. Korra could feel the tip teasing at her entrance and Asami was keeping her hips angled back just enough so the toy wasn’t slipping in. The woman knew what she was doing and it was driving her crazy.

Asami had said that she had a surprise for Korra when she got home from practice. And she definitely wasn’t lying. The sight of walking in on her wife clad in nothing more than a lace bra and thong that left little to the imagination, thigh high fishnets, and her black and red stilettos had Korra all but ripping her own clothes off. Her workout may have been tiring, but she suddenly had a burst of energy that had everything to do with the woman waiting for her in the middle of their bedroom.

After an incredibly brief conversation of consent, lips were crashed together and tongues danced. Teeth eventually found the skin of necks and moans of encouragement sounded through the room. 

Somehow in the midst of it all, Korra ended up with her wrists restrained with a soft rope to some new clips on either side of the bed, but her legs remained free. All she could do was watch as Asami fastened the harness around her hips after removing the thong and squirm at the way she spread lube over the dildo. Somehow it aroused her that much more.

And that’s how she found herself in her current predicament with her wife. Korra tugged on the restraints for leverage as she arched up again, trying to get more than just the tip of the toy inside of herself. A groan rumbled through her chest as Asami sat back and unhooked her bra, tossing it off to the side. 

“What’s wrong, love?” Asami purred as she hovered back over Korra, running the tip of the dildo up and down her dripping slit. 

“Fuck me,” she gasped. If truths were to be told, she was starting to ache from the arousal. And Asami knew it.

“I know you can ask nicer than that”.

Korra thought she could feel the advancing pressure of the toy splitting her folds open and bucked her hips in response. Only to have relief teasingly pulled away again, the woman above her chuckling softly beside her ear.

“Korra, what is it you want?”

“Y-you. Please... ‘S-Sami”.

“You have me, darling. Forever”.

A tender kiss to the side of her neck made Korra whimper in want. She knew what Asami wanted to hear and what would grant her relief from the growing ache between her legs.

“Asami,” she whimpered, “inside me.. please. F-fuck me, baby”.

“As you wish, my love,” Asami purred before sitting back and lining up the toy with her wife’s wanting hole.

She took a slight pause to admire Korra the way she was. Hands bound and nothing she could do about it, unless she asked to be unrestrained; her chest heaving in desire, eyes lidded and pupils dilated. This was quite a nice view made all the better as Korra’s mouth fell open and eyes snapped shut when she thrust forward, sinking the dildo to the hilt.

Asami started a slow yet hard pace, drawing back slowly and quickly thrusting forward. One hand braced on the headboard, she quickened slightly after a few moments and ran her hand up Korra’s chest. With a calm and steady focus, she found her wife’s pulse points with her thumb and forefinger. And waited.

Asami could feel Korra’s pulse quicken at her hand being on her throat like this. Blue eyes met green as thrusts slowed. And Korra nodded.

“Korra. I need you to actually say it. A nod isn’t going to be enough this time”.

“Do it. Choke me. St-start gentle though”. Korra swallowed hard, not exactly believing what she heard herself say. 

“Tell me if it’s.. too much”.

“I will”.

A soft moan left Korra’s lips as the thrusts picked up speed again. Her eyes only fluttered closed, breaking the eye contact, when a pressure started to push into her pulse points. Somehow it felt amazing, even as the pressure increased when her moans grew louder........

*********

Korra’s eyes snapped open with a gasp. She was a little disoriented as she wrestled with suddenly being awake. It was still mostly dark, a faint touch of a lighter blue starting to fill the sky as the sun was preparing to rise. Asami was still sleeping, one arm under Korra’s head and the other draped over her back. 

As she came to terms that it was still early and got her shaky breaths under control, she noticed there was an annoying ache between her legs. Not quite what she was expecting from a dream involving one of her biggest fears. With a silent sigh, she carefully rolled from her stomach to her side so she was facing Asami. 

As much as she wanted to go back to sleep and be awake when the sun was actually up, she was far too awake and alert for that to happen at the moment. Instead, she lightly stroked Asami’s cheek and slowly ran her thumb across her bottom lip. 

Korra knew in less than an hour that her wife’s alarm was going to go off and she would have to head off to work. Which meant she would also have to head to her office space to tend to tribal matters soon. She snuggled closer, wanting to enjoy the time they had left in bed together. A smile came to her face as the bump of Asami’s stomach made gentle contact with her own. The ache between Korra’s legs from such a hot and heavy dream could wait until Asami was less tired, less sore. Korra let herself fall into very light sleep. Just for a little while longer.

The next time Korra woke was when Asami rolled over to silence the beeping of her alarm. She reached out sleepily and gently rubbed her back.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Asami said softly and rolled back over. “I didn’t mean to wake you”.

“It’s okay, ‘Sami. I wasn’t fully asleep anyhow”. Korra pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

“Bad dream?”

“Uh.. n-nope”. Korra gave a cheeky grin to try to hide the sudden pink in her cheeks.

“Then it must have been a really good dream if it’s making you blush,” she said with a smirk. Sometimes her wife was just so easy to read.

“I’m not blushing!”

“Oh, yes you are”.

Korra rolled onto her stomach with a groan and buried her face into the pillows. There was no way she could tell Asami about this one. It was a sensitive topic. Yet a different kind of sensitivity was still present when the seam of her sweat pants brushed her clit and she bit back a moan at the sensation.

“Well, I have to get ready for work, sweetheart. I’m sure you have some important matters to tend to yourself”.

“Don’t remind me,” came the muffled reply.

_______________

Korra furrowed her brow at the request from the Empire. A request asking for some Southern warriors to assist in rounding up the remnants or the Red Lotus. They called it some sort of task force and were trying to gather troops and warriors from all nations as an act of solidarity. 

Just as she was about to pick up her phone to call their head of military, it rang.

“Chief Sato speaking”.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to you answering your business phone like that, Korra”.

“Which leads me to wonder if this a personal or business call, dad”.

“It’s a little of both. Have you given any thought to that supposed task force the Empire wants?”

“I was actually just looking at it”. Korra shuffled through a couple pages of the document. “I have no problem with it, but we should get in contact with Eska and Desna to see if they can spare a few Northerners as well. I don’t see anywhere in the paperwork where they’ve reached out to them”.

“That’s why I was a little hesitant with it. They said they were reaching out to all nations and yet, they didn’t include our Northern tribe”.

“Maybe they just considered us as one whole nation?” Korra pondered, eyes scouring the pages. “But that doesn’t make sense.. the paperwork specifically asks for Southerners. I’ll, uh, have to talk to the mayor and find out if he received any similar documents asking for some sort of force from the city”.

“I don’t want to make a decision until we know more, Korra. I’ll be in contact with their military leaders and hopefully there was just a lapse in specifying anything with our tribe”.

“Sounds like a plan. Now.. what’s the personal matter you wanted to talk about?”

“Well,” Tonraq chuckled softly through the phone, “the lights this year, Korra. Are you and Asami going to be able to make it?”

“Why wouldn’t we be? We already have our flights booked for.. spirits, in about a month. Already?”

“Are you sure she’s going to be able to fly then?”

“Yes, dad,” Korra reassured calmly. “The cutoff is around 36 weeks and she’s only going to be around 28 weeks when we come down”.

“Korra..”

“Dad, we’ll be okay. For what’s it’s worth, you’re gonna be a pretty amazing grandpa”.

“Now you’re making me sound old-“

“I mean.. you did just hit your 50s..” Korra laughed.

“Korra!”

“I love you, dad”.

Tonraq let an amused sigh leave him. “I love you too. Take care of Asami. And yourself. And don’t forget to talk to the mayor about this.. task force”.

“You got it”.

As Korra put the phone back on the receiver, she heaved a sigh. The more she thought about it, the more the whole task force thing didn’t make sense. It would come down to wether or not the mayor had received similar correspondence.

As if on command, her cellphone chimed when she glanced at the time.

-new message: ‘Sami

I swear if you don’t have some seal blubber fried up by time I get home, you’re not getting any tonight-

All Korra could do was laugh. For someone who almost puked the first time she tried it, her wife was damn set on having the snack. Enough so that Korra had started keeping some of the blubber on hand at all times. But she wasn’t about to argue, not with the threat she was given.

-of course, love. Anything else?-

-lemonade, no sugar-

-so.. lemon juice?-

-spirits, Korra! At least put it in some water. I don’t want pure lemon juice-

-whatever you say, babe. See you in about an hour?-

-yeah. I love you-

-drive safe. I love you-

Korra shook her head with a smile as she pocketed her phone and made sure the task force paperwork was front and center on her desk before heading down to the kitchen. Asami was definitely having some strange cravings this time around. Usually her idea of lemonade was sugar water with lemon juice for flavor. Now, her pregnant wife wanted lemon water that was more or less just lemon juice and called it lemonade. 

This pregnancy was already so much different from the last. More tears, more mood swings, more cravings. And unfortunately more aches and pains. Korra found herself most nights rubbing Asami’s back or legs. But she wouldn’t trade any of it. 

Before she knew it, an hour had come and gone. Asami walked into the kitchen to find a full plate of fried seal blubber chunks and a glass of what she was now considering lemonade. 

“Well, hello to you too, babe,” Korra chuckled as Asami popped one of the chunks into her mouth.

After swallowing, Asami smiled at her wife, who was naturally sitting on the counter. “Sorry, love. This child is awfully demanding already. How was your day?”

“I have to meet with the mayor”.

Grabbing a few more chunks, Asami leaned against the counter next to Korra. “Why’s that? Kor, I don’t like that tone”.

“The Empire is supposedly creating some task force to round up the rest of the Red Lotus. The documents stated troops or warriors from all nations are wanted, yet they only specified the South and never included the North”. She took one of the chunks of blubber Asami offered to her. “So I gotta make sure the mayor actually got some sort of correspondence about it all before my dad and I move forward with giving them warriors”.

“What about your cousins?”

“We’re gonna check with them once we figure out if the whole ‘all nations’ thing is real or not. If not.. ‘Sami..”

Asami looked to Korra with concern. She knew where her wife’s mind roamed to. If the Empire was singling out the Southern Tribe, it could likely only lead to one thing.

“Korra.. don’t you dare say there could be a war with them”.

“It’s.. it would be out of my hands. That’s why my dad and I are covering everything to make damn sure that’s not what they’re actually planning”. 

“I hate your job sometimes,” Asami mumbled and moved the plate of fried blubber to between them. “First, you’re a fighter and second, you’re a chief that could be going off to war at any moment. I love you, but you scare me”.

“I... uh.. I thought about retiring,” she said sheepishly. “For the baby”.

“What?! Korra, you love the ring! You can’t just.. no. Don’t retire from it yet, sweetheart. Not for me, and not for the baby. If you really want to, make sure you’re doing it because you want to”.

“But you just said-“

“I know what I said!” Asami yelled before taking a deep breath and lowering her tone again, “Kor, you’ve always scared me in some way from day one. It’s your job, a job you love. Don’t do that just because I worry about you or that we have a little one on the way. What brought that on?”

“Um.. ya know.. we’re expecting and I don’t want you so stressed out from me being in the ring that something happens.. plus when they’re born, I kinda wanna be around as they grow up”.

Asami sighed and stepped between Korra’s legs. “You’ll be around. I know you. You’d rather forfeit a fight than miss any milestone. You can keep doing what you love for as long as you think you can, okay?” She held her wife’s face gently and gave her a quick kiss. “A baby doesn’t mean the end of a career. Future Industries would sure be hurting if it did”.

Korra nodded slowly. Of course Asami was right. She didn’t need to quit fighting just yet. Not if she didn’t want to. That would be like Asami just giving up Future Industries over a child. A ridiculous thought.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay. You’re right. I just- babe?” 

Korra’s eyes grew wide as Asami guided her hands to rest over a spot on her stomach. She thought it was just her imagination, the faint bump against her hand. Then it happened again. 

“It might still be a little early for you to feel it the way I do, but.. I hope you can feel at least a little something”.

All she could do was nod excitedly. Korra kept her hands in place, focused on trying to feel one more little movement. And when it happened, there was no stopping the tears of happiness. Asami had said she wanted to wait to find out the sex until 25 weeks. Which only meant a week to go.

“So, uh,” Korra cleared her throat after she calmed down, “about that blubber...”

“Don’t you dare think I’ve forgotten about that,” Asami said, voice low. “I may be pregnant, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you railing me”.

“I.. uh.. yeah,” she stammered as her face grew red. “I just, um, don’t want to hurt you?”

“Spirits, you won’t. Korra, we haven’t had sex in weeks. Do you want to or not?”

“I.. yes. I definitely do”. She swallowed hard, unsure if it was from hands trailing up the insides of her thighs or the dream she had replaying in her mind. 

Just before their lips made contact, Korra barely whispered, “choke me”.

“Hmm?” Asami pulled back slightly. “Speak up, love.”

“J-just.. fuck me, Asami”.

She crashed their lips together in a rough and heated kiss. She couldn’t voice it again. Not now. Not for a very long time, if ever. A part of her hated how bad she actually wanted it, the other terrified by the want of something she was so scared of. 

So tonight would be learning more about how to navigate the growing bump between them. Something Asami was clearly ready for as she all but drug Korra from the counter and up to their bedroom, both of them losing clothing on the way.


	50. Chapter 50

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly got some sweetness in this one. And maybe a touch of fear by the end??

“A... a wha-?” Korra sat in the chair next to the bed Asami was in to fight the sudden lightheadedness. “A boy?!”

“And a very healthy one at that,” the technician added. “He’s progressing perfectly”.

Korra couldn’t stop gawking at the screen. She heard the tech say something about 15 weeks, give or take a week or two to Asami. Not many words were making sense to her. She had a similar feeling when they had found out Yue was a girl, but somehow, this little boy felt so different. Maybe it was because they waited longer to find out. But maybe it was simply because she had been secretly terrified of another loss this whole time.

“Kor, sweetheart?”

“Huh?”

“You okay?” Asami asked and gave Korra’s had a gentle squeeze.

“What? Yeah. I’m.. I’m really, really okay right now. We’re..” Korra sniffled, “we’re gonna have a son, ‘Sami. I mean.. just look at him! He’s perfect already!”

Asami couldn’t help but chuckle at her barely contained excitement. There was still a hint of worry deep within her eyes. For now, though, Korra was back on her feet, one hand on Asami’s stomach and littering the bump with excited kisses.

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s go grab lunch”.

“But..” Korra pointed at the image the technician locked on the screen.

Asami pulled out the folder she had tucked under her side and gave it to Korra with a smile. “They gave us copies of the ultrasound. You can stare at them whenever you want”.

“O-okay. Then yeah.. lunch sounds good”.

As they left the doctors office hand in hand, Korra’s expression fell slightly at the small group of reporters that had gathered. The pregnancy so far had random times when the press wouldn’t leave them alone, the main time being when Asami couldn’t hide the bump any longer. 

Feeling her wife’s demeanor shift, Asami gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. She knew Korra hated the press digging into their personal lives. Unfortunately, she also knew it came with the territory of being two high profile people.

“Are you carrying a boy or girl?” The first question was shouted.

“How far along are you really?”

“When is the due date?”

“Will the baby make it to term this time?”

Asami looked to Korra as the grip on her hand tightened at the last question. As much as she thought she could hide her emotions away, her eyes almost always gave her away. And all Asami could see in those beautiful blues was anger. A hurt anger. 

“Don’t,” she whispered and wrapped her arm around her wife’s waist. “I can’t have you catching charges for beating the shit out of a reporter”.

All Korra did was grunt in response. She knew if she were to say anything, she would snap and lose her temper. And probably catch assault charges. 

“The baby is fine,” Asami told the crowd calmly before leading the way to the car. 

Once in the car, Korra slammed her fist into the dashboard a couple times before breaking down in tears.

“That stupid fucking inconsiderate asshole!” She screamed and put her face in her hands. “Does he not understand the fucking pain of losing a child?! You just.. you don’t bring that shit up!”

Asami placed a gentle, comforting hand to her wife’s shoulder. “Do you.. just want to go home? We can do lunch another day”.

She nodded into her hands as her shoulders shook. Her appetite was gone and she just wanted to lay down. 

“Okay, love,” she said softly and put her seatbelt on before starting the car. “Buckle up and we can go”.

After another nod from her wife and the click of her putting her seatbelt on, Asami pulled from the parking spot and started the drive home. Even she couldn’t believe the reporter had asked such an insensitive question. She couldn’t help but wonder if he was actually trying to get a rise out of them, particularly Korra. Ever since the brief conversation they had about the Empire, Asami couldn’t help but see most people as a little suspicious. She couldn’t help but feel like Korra had a target plastered to her back.

“Babe?” 

“Hmm?”

“I’m sorry,” Korra sniffled after finally calming down just a little bit.

“For what, Kor?”

“For kinda losing it.. I know you wanted lunch-“

“Enough. How many times am I going to have to tell you to not apologize for how you’re feeling?”

“Honestly.. probably a lot, for the rest of our lives”.

Asami rolled her eyes jokingly as she pulled into the driveway. Even after all this time, Korra still had some issues being okay with admitting how she was feeling and even showing it at times. And if she had to constantly remind her that it was okay, so be it.

“Well.. how about you make it up to me. Seaweed noddles and fried oysters?”

“We.. don’t have oysters, babe. I can run and get some if that’s what you really want”.

“Do we still have some seal?”

“Of course we do. Blubber and steaks. Which do you want?”

“Why not both?” Asami challenged, raising her eyebrow.

“That.. I can do”.

__________________

Korra didn’t want lunch. She put her serving in the refrigerator and gave Asami’s cheek a kiss before heading upstairs. Bypassing their bedroom, she went straight into the nursery and closed the door quietly behind her with a soft sigh. 

She went to the dresser and opened the bottom drawer to dig a quarter full bottle of rum from behind a few blankets. Korra then took the small urn from the bookshelf and sat herself in the rocking chair.

“You’re gonna have a little brother, Yue. The reporters are being cruel again.. with everything that happened”. She tucked the urn into the crook of her arm and opened the bottle to take a long drink before starting to rock the chair.

“They just.. they won’t leave your mom’s and my personal lives out of just about anything. Like.. why can’t she just do the codes for the city or designing new cars and buildings without being hounded about why she’s with another woman, or how we’re going to be parents, or.. or why she chose a fighter instead of another business person?”

Korra didn’t realize she had started crying until she looked down at the urn in her arm, a tear dripping from her chin and onto it. She had no doubt Yue would have been the best big sister. Before a sob could escape, she took another long drink to choke it back. Asami didn’t need to see her like this. Not again.

“I mean.. I guess she kinda made up for it, with me being chief and all that. And of course that leads them to think they can just pry and pry to get into my personal life. Spirits, all the things I did in the past.. Yue, I still don’t believe I’m fit to be a parent. But I just.. I love you. And I love your brother. And your mom. More than anything. And I’m so happy your mom believes in me. She always has, you know?”

She wiped at her eyes and took another drink. What she didn’t know was that Asami was just outside the door, a hand frozen over the handle and the other over her mouth while she listened with tears in her eyes.

“You’re mom is seriously the best”. She gave a tearful chuckle. “Honestly, who else would have stuck around and pull my dumbass out of addiction more than once? And then she even still wanted just me after I basically, drunkenly cheated on her. Who does that, Yue?! Spirits, I may be an idiot but at least I’m the luckiest dumbass the universe has”.

With a sad sigh Korra added, “I wish you could have gotten to meet your grandparents”.

She didn’t notice Asami had entered as she took a final drink, finishing the bottle. 

“She.. she met one of them, Kor,” Asami sniffled.

Korra quickly looked at the bottle in her hand and back at her wife who had her arms crossed. 

“I.. I, um.. I’m sorry,” she sputtered out and stood up, clutching the urn closer to her chest.

Asami shook her head and crossed the room to her wife, taking her face in her hands and tenderly wiping the tears from her cheeks. “It’s okay, Kor. Just.. don’t let it get out of control”.

She took the urn from Korra’s arm to hold it against her own chest before continuing, “I’m positive my mom is taking amazing care of her for us,” a tear slipped from her eye as her voice cracked, “and I’m sure she always will”.

Korra set the empty bottle on the floor and wrapped her arms around Asami’s shoulders. They stood like that for a little while, crying together. The loss still hurt deeply, but the thought of Yasuko holding and caring for their daughter brought a small sense of comfort and peace. 

________________

As they met with Tonraq and Senna in the airport, Korra noticed the few Empire guards as well as some of their own. After speaking with Eska, Desna, and the Mayor, it did turn out that they had received a similar correspondence and it was all just a forgotten statement. It was relieving to know there wasn’t going to be a multination war, especially with 12 short weeks until a little baby boy was to be in her arms. 

Thankfully the drive back to her parents’ house was quick and filled with very little silence. The main topic being Asami’s pregnancy and her cravings. Which then led to meals being planned for the next week and a half. 

Once they reached the house, Korra quickly helped her wife out of the car and up to the door, even if Asami complained and insisted she could walk on her own. Korra just didn’t want her to slip on any of the ice, not on her watch. After getting everyone inside, she quickly took their luggage up to her room and came back down to see her father with a hand on Asami’s stomach.

“My, my,” Tonraq chuckled, “what are we going to be dealing with?”

“A boy, dad,” Korra beamed, placing a hand on her wife’s lower back. 

“He’s going to be quite the handful, the little mover”.

“You have no idea,” Asami sighed. “I would appreciate it if he would stop driving his little feet into my pelvis”.

“Oh, just you wait until he finishes turning and you have little feet kicking your ribs,” Senna laughed. “Korra was relentless up until she was born. Hopefully your birth goes smoother. We should have known how stubborn she was going to be”.

“Hey!”

“What?” She turned to her daughter. “I went into labor and you suddenly decided you weren’t ready. From start to finish it took nearly 36 hours to get you out”.

Korra gave a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of her neck. “Sorry, mom”.

“I’m sure everything will be just fine for you two”. Tonraq smiled and wrapped an arm around each Korra and Asami, pulling them into a hug. 

“Do you want to lay down for a little while or is dinner wanted?”

“Dinner for me. Definitely.” Korra looked to Asami and took her hand after they were released from her father’s embrace. “How about you?”

“Agreed to that. Whatever you’ve made smells amazing,” Asami complimented Senna and rested her free hand on her bump. The little boy seemed to think so too by the way what felt like a foot drove into her bladder. “But first, bathroom”.

“You okay, babe?” Korra asked in concern. She was definitely starting to turn into an extremely worried, yet doting wife.

“I’m fine, baby’s fine, sweetheart. He just likes to kick my bladder sometimes. And when he does.. it gets pretty damn urgent,” she soothed and gave Korra’s cheek a kiss before heading to the bathroom.

“Well, are you having the next one?”

“Dad! We haven’t even brought this one into the world yet! Let’s.. wait before we start even thinking about the next one”. Korra glanced over her shoulder. “But.. maybe. Unless she really wants to again”.

Tonraq placed his hand on her shoulder with a smile. “Did you tell her?”

“T-tell her what exactly?”

“Korra..”

“Oh! No.. I haven’t. Do the elders have it finished?”

“Yes. They would like to.. present it to you both at dinner tomorrow. Unless you just-“

“It’s traditional, dad. I’m not about to tell them to break that. Even if everything about my life has been anything but”.

As the four sat down and began to eat, Korra looked to Tonraq with a hint of concern on her face.

“So.. have we rounded up any more of the Red Lotus?”

“A couple distant bands in Empire territory. I received word about it yesterday. Nothing here yet”.

“I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not,” Asami added quietly.

“At this point, it could be either. We can only hope they’ve disbanded any factions here and aren’t actually holed up out in the tundra”.

Korra placed her hand on Asami’s knee. “We’ll be fine, ‘Sami. I highly doubt they would outright send an attack at my family. Not with the amount of security we have going for us right now. We have a little bit from everywhere in a shared deal”.

“If you say so”. She covered Korra’s hand softly. “I’m just worried about you. All of you”.

“Asami, there’s little to worry about as it stands right now. Tonraq won’t let anything happen to any of us without putting up a fight. And you know how Korra is”. 

“Oh, and how am I?” Korra inquired after swallowing her bite of food and crossed her arms.

“Just like your father”.

“What’s that supposed to mean, dear?” Tonraq asked and folded his arms in mock sternness.

Senna simply gestured at him which earned a quiet laugh from Asami. She knew what Senna was referring to. Korra was protective, almost to a fault. But she was also funny, sweet, and thoughtful. Senna was right, she wouldn’t have anything to worry about.

________________

“Korra?”

“Yeah?” she replied, voice clearly ready for sleep.

“What do you think? Are there still factions down here?”

“Without a doubt”. Korra rolled over and willingly took the position of big spoon. “Like I said, they wouldn’t openly attack any of us. Not with the amount of security we have”.

“If you say so,” she sighed and took Korra’s hand and placed it on her stomach.

“I wouldn’t ever let anything happen to you. Either of you,” Korra comforted while rubbing her thumb against the bump tenderly. “Ever”.

Asami nodded slightly and pressed her back against Korra for both her warmth and comfort. She knew her wife would protect her and her family with her life if she needed to. And that scared her, but Korra promised forever and she knew she kept promises. 

“I love you”.

“I love you too, ‘Sami”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really wanted to give you guys one more before I went back to work, so I hope it was worth it 🥺
> 
> We got some interesting things coming around, though, including a bouncing baby boy.


	51. Chapter 51

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter this time around, but it ended itself so naturally. I hope you all enjoy it 🥺😬

Korra tossed her formal robe on and sat on the edge of her bed with a sigh. The feast to start the festival was going to be normal. At least mostly. She had a rough idea of what the elders had and yet, she still didn’t want to tell Asami about the tradition they had for a chief that was to have a child. Granted, she had her own that Senna had given to her when she turned 13, but they didn’t quite have the time with Yue.

“Is everything okay, love?” Asami asked as she sat next to Korra, seeing that her wife was clearly in her head.

“Huh? Yeah. Everything’s good. Just the dinner, ya know. Chief stuff”.

“Korra.. what’s going on?”

“I dunno,” Korra said with a shrug. “This year is a bit different with you being real pregnant and all”.

“Yes, but it’s not-“

“No, no. It is a big deal. You’re.. we’re adding to my line, Asami. Yeah, kids are born every day down here just like anywhere else, but it’s not every day the chieftain line grows a little more”.

Asami nodded in understanding and took a hold of Korra’s hand. “This isn’t just some routine feast before the Lights, is it?”

“Uh.. no”. Korra bit her lip and pulled her hand from her wife’s to draw random shapes on the back of it. “The elders have.. something for us. It’s kinda a big tradition when a chief has a kid. My mom gave me my... thing when I was younger, but I don’t know if it’s the same type of thing or not for us”.

“What exactly is this.. thing?”

“I don’t wanna give it all away. It’s technically for the baby though. At least from what I understand. Is.. is it okay if it’s still a surprise for you?”

“If that’s what you want it to be, then yes. I trust you, Kor. But... never mind,” Asami sighed and looked to the floor.

“No, babe, what is it? I can show you mine if you want me to but it’s-“

“Why.. why didn’t they do this for Yue?”

“Oh, ‘Sami..” Korra closed the distance between them and turned her body to wrap Asami into a hug. “When we were here, it was too.. early. And then.. we just didn’t have the time. They were going to”.

All Asami could do was nod into Korra’s shoulder in an effort to keep the tears at bay. She had to admit that some of her traditions were a bit odd at times, but she was part of it now. And while Asami had never been much of a spiritual type of person, ever since Korra took her to the Southern Lights for the first time something changed a bit for her. She definitely had some personal questions for her mother this year.

“Korra? Are you two ready to go?” Tonraq asked from the other side of the door. 

“Uh, yeah. We’ll be down in a second”.

__________________

Korra stared over the crowded dining hall anxiously waiting for the elders to arrive. Normally she would have been ready for them to arrive so Tonraq could start the feast so she could eat and wander around downtown, playing random games before going to sit at the cliffs. Now, they had something for her and Asami. For their baby boy. And as tradition went, it was going to be given in front of most of the tribe, including Korra’s cousins from the North.

As the doors opened, she straightened up and tried to steel her nerves and anxiety over the situation. Only, it was her cousins and a soft groan escaped her as her shoulders slumped slightly. It wasn’t that Korra didn’t like them, just that their demeanor usually rubbed her the wrong way at times. A hand on her thigh pulled her out of her mind.

“Are you okay?” Asami quietly asked, only loud enough for Korra to hear.

“Yeah. I’m fine. I mean, I knew Eska and Desna were going to be here, but they can be... a lot sometimes”.

“Why are they here? I thought this was a South thing?”

“The feast, technically, yes. But I’ve told you before that anyone from anywhere is welcome to participate. And.. they’re kinda here for.. us?”

“What?” Asami breathed out. 

Korra placed a hand on Asami’s stomach with a small smile. “That thing I told you about? It’s apparently a huge deal for the tribe as a whole. So.. the Northern chiefs were invited”.

Covering the hand on her stomach, she raised an eyebrow slightly. “How big of a deal is this going to be?”

“How am I supposed to know?” She laughed quietly. “I wasn’t born whenever this happened in the past. I mean.. technically I was in the world for those two, but I was too young to remember it. And they’re from the North so a little different in tradition”.

Just as Asami was about to speak, both Korra and Tonraq stood suddenly. Looking to the doors, she noticed that the tribe’s elders had finally arrived. The one in front was holding an intricately carved box, and another two carrying white robes draped over an arm as they walked the main path to their table at the front of the room. Asami watched her wife and father-in-law give their tribal salute, a fist over their heart and slight bow of their head, and felt a warm smile tug at her lips when the gesture was returned.

“Chief Tonraq, you may be seated once again. Chief Korra, you should know why we’re here. Please, come in front of the table with your wife”.

Korra offered her hand to Asami, giving it a gentle squeeze after she stood, and the two made their way around to the front of the table. The two elders with the white robes, trimmed with the alternating blue and white triangles of the tribe, stepped behind them both and draped the garment over their shoulders simultaneously.

“Think you can kneel?” Korra asked almost silently.

Asami nodded slightly and let Korra help her to her knees as she tucked her feet underneath herself. Her wife then sat next to her, legs crossed, as the lead elder sat in front of them with the box resting on his legs.

“Mrs. Sato, you have been married into this tribe, so you may not fully know some of our traditions. Some of these traditions your wife could only read about or learn in school. She mostly knows what’s happening this evening, but has never actually experienced this except for in her own mother’s womb”.

Asami nodded silently. She knew how to steel her emotions relatively well. Years upon years of business and board meetings taught her how to control her temper and push down the anxiety over a big move on the company’s part. For some reason, she would just say it was the hormones of pregnancy, she couldn’t stop working her jaw in an attempt to fight off the tears. Korra had told her what this was about, at least roughly. In a way, she felt she didn’t deserve the gift about to be bestowed to them. Asami wasn’t born into the tribe and even after all of this time with Korra, she was still learning many of the customs. Even if her wife told her to not worry about it, she did. She always wanted to learn about anything she could.

Korra could nearly feel her wife’s emotions coming from her and took her hand gently, intertwining their fingers. Even if she was used to having so many eyes on her in the ring, this was so much different. So much more personal. Even her own nerves were starting to show as her hand began to tremble in Asami’s.

The elder placed the box between himself and the two women, keeping his fingers over the latches.

“Chief, as you know, it’s tradition for a new addition to the chieftain line to receive their own swaddle cloth, pouch, and blanket. We, as the elders have made these items for you and your expecting wife. You know very well we have absolutely no issue with same sex relations in the South, and the North is starting to work on their views of the subject. This match of souls was clearly meant to be with you two”. He smiled at them both. “And we couldn’t be happier about the new life about to be welcomed into the world and this tribe”.

Korra took a deep breath to keep her eyes from watering. She couldn’t help but remember how at one time she thought the lineage would end with her. How she forgot to think it all through and gave up, in a sense, at ever having kids. How a deep, dark part of her secretly hoped to get pregnant when she was sleeping around in the time her and Asami were apart. It was all insane to think of now. Korra had Asami for life, or as long as she would have her, and they were starting a family together. This is all she could have wanted.

Both of them had their resolve break and happy tears spill over as the elder opened the box. Placed on top was a leather sling with a fur lined pouch, made perfectly to carry an infant. Korra gave Asami a smile and nodded for her to go ahead and take it from the box. Once she did and placed it on her lap, wiping a few tears away, Korra took out the swaddle cloth. The difference from this one and the one that was hers was that it was two pieces. One was a lightweight cloth dyed a deep crimson, the other a lined, pliable leather cloth.

“One for back in the city. And you can use both here or there if it’s cold,” the elder explained after seeing Korra’s mild confusion about the two pieces.

She folded the pieces carefully and set them next to the box. Clearing her throat and wiping more tears from her eyes she asked Asami, “wanna do the blanket together?”

“Y-yeah,” she replied as she wiped another stray tear from her cheek and set the sling with the swaddle pieces. 

They both reached into the box and pulled out a blanket the size of a standard throw blanket. Asami realized it was a pelt type blanket, similar to the one on Korra’s bed. On the not furred side was a deep blue fabric, hemmed along the sides with the same tribal pattern as the one on their robes. As they opened the blanket, a strangled, tearful gasp left Asami as she clamped one hand over her mouth. 

“‘Sami..” Korra barely managed through the tears as she placed a hand over her eyes. “It’s.. spirits, it’s perfect”.

On the bottom half was the crest of the tribe, identical to the one on Korra’s lower back, embroidered in white. On the top was the half gear that had been linked to the Sato name for years, a logo that Asami had to admit was almost like her own family crest, embroidered in a bright red. Following the border of the tribal hem was a red square toothed line. Both Korra and Asami were in silent agreement it showed a coming together of two families and even cultures.

“May the spirits continue to guide and protect the both of you in your marriage. And also protect your child for the rest of their life,” the elder concluded.

He took the blanket back from the couple and folded it carefully before returning it and the other items to the box. Once it was closed, he helped Korra and Asami back to their feet and gave them each a gentle hug. The two elders from before removed the robes from their shoulders and Korra was given the box. As soon as that gesture was made, the room erupted into cheers and applause.

“Thank you. So very, very much. This was... absolutely beautiful,” Asami said softly, wiping the last of her tears away. 

Just after returning to their chairs and Korra set the box on the floor, they were both wrapped into a tight hug from Tonraq. Senna soon joined the group hug and between the four, there wasn’t a dry eye.

______________

Once the dinner was complete, Korra took the box to her parent’s car and put it in the trunk before walking with Asami back to downtown. It seemed like every person that saw them was offering a congratulations and well wishes. Even some of the tribe’s children ran up to give them each a hug and feel Asami’s belly. As they kept walking, Korra gave a smile to her wife.

“Skeeball? Betcha I’ll win this time around. You and your physics stuff won’t matter with that belly”.

“Oh, you’re on, chief,” she challenged with a smirk.

They played game after game for what seemed like an hour, Asami beating Korra in all but two games. And that was mainly due to her wife playfully bumping into her every other toss. Finally, they took each other’s hand and began their walk to the cliffs. 

“Everything is so different this time around, huh?” Korra asked quietly. 

“It sure is, sweetheart. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I have you and we’re starting a family of our own. It’s all just.. perfect, Kor”.

After a quick kiss, Asami sat on a nearby rock. Korra sat on the ground close by, but with enough space to give her wife privacy with whoever she was going to connect with this night. With a small smile, she turned her attention to the blue and green glow overhead.

Asami couldn’t help but glance at Korra. She seemed at peace more often these days, but the way she looked now warmed her heart. Her shoulders and jaw were relaxed, a small and crooked smile at her lips. With a smile of her own she looked to the sky for a moment and closed her eyes.

_ Mom, I hope you’re doing well up there and taking great care of our little girl. As much as the loss hurts deeply, I’m.. glad you got to see your granddaughter. I wish circumstances were different and that you were still here. I miss you. _

Just then, she felt the little boy move around as if he was excited about something. Asami rested a hand on her stomach. As much as his little kicks and punches would occasionally hurt, feeling him move around always felt like something special. And this particular night, it felt more so.

_ How is Yue doing? I hope she isn’t giving you a hard time like she did for me. That little girl gave me some serious heartburn. _

The next sign she received from what was clearly Yasuko answering her was a soft little peep. She opened her eyes and looked to where the sound came from to find a baby penguin hopping around on some nearby ice. A smile on her face and tears in her eyes, she sent a final thought for the night to her mother.

_ Thank you, mom. For taking care of her. For Korra. And for this little boy. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Going back to work after vacation sucks. Especially when my job can just be the way it is sometimes... logic doesn’t exist.
> 
> I also had some writers block with this one, which was odd for me?? Maybe it’s just post-vacation brain


	52. Chapter 52

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not super sure why I stopped doing summaries but it is what it is I guess. All I can think of is.. I like giving you all the chance at a surprise instead.

Something was off. There was something that didn’t feel right at all to Korra as she walked out of the gym with Bolin and Kuvira. As much as she wanted to join in the banter between the other two, her mind was preoccupied scanning the streets and sidewalks. The city police was out in full force, Lin even bringing out the SWAT team. Something was definitely wrong. Korra couldn’t afford for anything to be or go wrong right now. Asami could go into labor at any moment and everything would be okay, according to the doctors. She still wanted her son to stay put for the next two weeks. 

Ever since her and Asami returned from the South, police activity had been picking up. There was a whole week where there was a curfew established and no one was to be away from their homes, unless it was an emergency, after 8 in the evening. Korra knew there was Red Lotus groups around the city. There had to be. And clearly Lin had caught wind of something brewing or the patrols wouldn’t be nearly this heavy.

“So, Korra, you ready to be a parent?” Bolin asked and gently bumped into her shoulder as they walked down the sidewalk.

She nervously chuckled, shaking her head. “I’ve always wanted a kid, but is anyone really ready to be a parent? I mean... we both want kids,” she adjusted her bag on her shoulder, “but.. what if I’m a shitty parent?”

“It’s.. normal to feel like that”. He gave a warm grin. “Besides, you’re both badasses. That little boy is gonna have it made with you two as moms!”

“He has a point, Korra,” Kuvira added and gently placed her hand on Korra’s shoulder. “You deserve this after all the bullshit in your life. You both do. And I’m sure Opal would be more than happy to help you guys out, even Su if you needed it. Or Pema. You two aren’t alone in navigating parenthood”.

“Th-thanks, Kuv”.

Korra let out a sigh as her mind wandered. She was always pretty decent at hiding her emotions, but knew once she got home to her wife, there was no hiding it. Now she just needed to figure out what to say to not have Asami worry about her. She wasn’t particularly doing bad, just.. not the greatest either. 

“Oh... Hey, Mako,” Bolin muttered and stole a glance to Korra who had a glare settle on her face.

“Bo, Kuvira. Glad to see you have her with you”.

“Excuse me?” Korra snapped. “I do have a name, you know. Oh. And why are you glad I’m with your brother? Last I knew you didn’t want us being friends at all”.

“Because-! No. I’m not doing this with you right now”. Mako reached into his back pocket and held a letter out to her. “This was in my mail today. We... haven’t lived together for years so I don’t know-“

Korra snatched it from his hand. “I’ll take care of it. Were you just going to stalk around town until you ran into me?”

“No. I was going to have Bo give it to you, actually. So... um.. yeah. Sorry to bother you. Again. B-but I hope everything goes well with the.. baby. Congrats to both of you. I’m.. gonna get.. going”. Mako cleared his throat and turned to leave.

Korra dropped her bag and the piece of mail and drew back a fist. For some reason, something didn’t feel right about him. And the fact he brought up her child, after everything he had done, snapped something within her. Thankfully for him, Kuvira was quick and was able to stop Korra for sending that fist flying. 

“You keep my child out of this, you abusive fuck!” Korra yelled at him, struggling against Kuvira’s hold. All she could do was watch as her ex boyfriend gave a slight wave over his shoulder without looking back as he walked away.

Bolin toed at the concrete underfoot and looked over hands anxiously. “I’m.. uh.. I’m sorry, Korra. I didn’t know. I really, truly didn’t”.

“I’m not blaming you. And I believe you,” she said after finally breaking Kuvira’s hold and picking up her bag and the envelope. “Does he seem weird to you two? We seriously haven’t lived together for.. so many years. Why would anyone send mail for me there?”

Kuvira looked to Bolin, eyebrow raised. 

“What?! I don’t live with him either. He has been acting like he’s hiding something though. I can try to talk to him if you want”.

“If you could, I’d appreciate it. Something just..” she looked at the envelope in her hand, “doesn’t feel right with him”.

“Has anything ever felt right with him for you?”

Korra turned her attention to Kuvira. “Not really. Not for a very, very long time. But... it’s worse? I was going to walk, but can you take me home?”

“Sure thing”.

__________________

“Babe?” Korra called out after closing the door, setting her bag down, and kicking her shoes off. 

“In the den, sweetheart,” came the tired reply. 

As Korra came around the corner she couldn’t help but smile. Her wife was sitting on the couch with her feet up on the coffee table in only a large t-shirt and shorts, sketchbook on her stomach and pen in hand. 

“Whatcha workin’ on, beautiful?” She asked as she sat next to Asami and set the letter on the couch next to her.

“Beautiful?” Asami scoffed. “Not like this. I’m so ready for this little boy to be in the world instead of me. And what’s that?”

“It’s.. I don’t really know. We left the gym and Mako showed up with it saying that it somehow got sent to his place. Bo said he’s gonna try to figure out what his deal is”.

“His deal is that he’s an abusive asshole and was probably hoping to get you alone”.

“I thought that too. But.. he said that wasn’t the case and said something about hoping everything goes well for us and the baby. I.. don’t know how to feel about it”.

Asami only gave a soft hum in response and turned her attention back to her drawing. She wasn’t in the best of moods and wanted to be left alone. In a way, Asami was glad Korra wasn’t talking. It was unusual, but she assumed it was because she had opened the letter and was reading it. That was until the bouncing of her wife’s leg was getting irritating.

“What about that letter has you so worked up?”

“Nothing? It’s just.. junk mail”. Korra knew she was lying, but Asami already seemed to be in a bad mood and didn’t want to worry her with the letter. Or how today her mood just felt low.

“Then what’s wrong, Korra?” She almost snapped, turning her attention back to her.

Asami has always told her that she wanted to how she was feeling no matter what. In the moment, her tone told Korra otherwise. So that’s what she told herself and decided to deal with her own mind alone this time.

“I’m fine, babe”.

“Bullshit,” Asami muttered under her breath. Deep down she knew it was the hormones and that Korra did nothing wrong.

“Really. I’m fine,” she tried to insist and folded the letter back up. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, Kor. I’m okay”.

“You sure? You seem.. like you’re having a bad day. Would you like something to snack on or something to drink?”

“Thanks, but no”. 

“‘Sami-“

“I would like for you to stop distracting me for once”.

Korra sat there for a moment. Asami’s words muddled her mind and the last two stung. She was at a complete loss for words.

“Okay,” she barely whispered and stood up. Without another word, Korra left the den.

Unfortunately Asami’s mind was working slower than normal. By time the look in Korra’s eyes registered, as well as what she had said herself, she realized she had no idea where her wife actually went. With a soft grunt, Asami stood and began her search where she always does when Korra goes missing for hours: the gym. Even if she already put a workout it, she would likely be using it to avoid talking. Which would have made sense if she was in there. 

“Korra?” Asami called into the gym for good measure. Not receiving a response, she closed the door with a sigh.

She continued her journey to her next location: the pool. Nearly halfway there Asami stopped and put one hand on the wall, the other on her belly with a groan.

“That one hurt, little guy.” 

As she went to take another step, she slightly bent forward and kept her hand on the wall for support.

“Ah! Fuuuck. Oh, no, you little shit,” she hissed in pain, “it’s not time yet”.

Asami breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth while she counted the seconds of the contraction. She had false labor before, leading to both of them, mainly Korra, freaking out and becoming mildly panicked. It had been far too early during those moments and thankfully her doctor eased both of their minds, mainly Korra again, and told them it was just Asami’s body essentially practicing. Finally after a few seconds the pain eased and she was able to finish making her way to the pool room. 

She didn’t see Korra through the window and the water was calm, the only ripples being created by the filter pumps. Opening the door, Asami checked to see if her wife was out of sight in the hot tub. And yet, she was still nowhere to be found.

“Where the hell did your mom run off to?” She whispered.

Even the nursery was empty of Korra. And so was their bedroom. And kitchen. And her office. Every normal spot she could be found in was vacant of the tan woman. Asami was getting more irritated the longer she was looking for her wife. She was already exhausted and now Korra wanted to play this game.

Deciding on some fresh air, she walked out the back door and found Korra curled up on the porch swing, mindlessly scrolling through her phone. Asami stood still for a moment, just waiting to see if she had been noticed. And when she hadn’t been acknowledged, she broke the silence.

“Can I sit with you?”

“Only if I’m not going to be bothering you,” Korra muttered, not bothering to look to Asami.

“Korra, sweetheart, I’m sorry. I didn’t-“

“For once,” she nearly spat, “I’m not distracting you. For once, I’m leaving you alone. For once,” her voice finally broke, “I’m not being a fucking burden to you”.

“You never were”. She sat next to Korra on the swing and put her hand on her knee. 

“That’s bullshit and you know it, Asami”.

“I knew what I was getting into with you. Kor, I never stopped loving you. You were never a burden to me then, or now. What’s going on? You haven’t been like this for a while”.

“Don’t worry about it. You’re clearly not in a good mood either. I’m not about to make it worse”. Korra rested her head against the chain of the swing and looked out over the back yard. “So what’s wrong?”

Letting out a sigh, Asami rested her hand on her stomach as the baby moved around slightly. 

“Mostly it’s just the hormones. You remember the mood swings in the beginning. And I narrowly lost a bid for a new residential development outside of town. It was so close but the other company offered to do the work for cheaper”. She shrugged slightly. “Their design plans didn’t make a whole lot of sense, but it’s whatever”.

“Clearly it’s not whatever if it has you this upset”. 

While Korra did care, her mind was elsewhere. She enjoyed just listening to her wife go on and on about her designs and plans. Now just wasn’t the time. Not with her mood being low the past few days, only to be brought down a little further by the contents of the letter. Even if the extra drop was mostly fear induced this time.

“No, it is whatever. It’s out of my hands for now. I’ll take a stab in the dark and say they’re going to need me at some point for some part of the project. Besides, an airline reached out to me for a new engine design. I’ll have that to focus on”.

Korra nodded and closed her eyes. She didn’t want to bother Asami with her usual issues and most definitely didn’t want to worry her with the letter. Blindly reaching over, her fingertips brushed Asami’s arm. Her wife took no hesitation in taking her hand and running her thumb across her knuckles.

“Kor, what’s wrong? I truly didn’t mean to snap at you like that”.

“It’s not that. Just.. typical shit”.

“Talk to me,” She said softly and pulled Korra up and against her side and wrapped her arm around her shoulders. “You know I’m always here for you”.

“I know”. She rested her head on Asami’s shoulder with a sigh and placed a hand on her stomach. “It’s just the depression setting in again. I’ll be fine”.

She knew Korra would be okay. She would come back around soon enough as usual. Asami would still always hate seeing her so down and there being nothing she could really do about it. 

“What if he hates me, ‘Sami?”

Asami sighed and pulled her wife closer. “He won’t. You’re too amazing for that and you’re great with kids”.

Korra scoffed but still smiled at the movement under her hand. “He most definitely will when he starts his teenage years”.

“Kor, he’s going to hate us both when that time comes around. And stop changing the topic. Do you need to talk?”

“Not right now. Just talking about him is fine”.

_________________

“Korra? Korra. Wake up”. 

Asami shoved her wife’s head and received a tired grunt in response. She needed her to wake up before she was in too much pain to actually drive safely. Sure, Korra could drive if she absolutely had to, but Asami didn’t want that risk.

“Korra, I’m being serious”.

“Spirits, babe,” she groaned and rolled onto her side, facing away from Asami, “what time is it?”

“Just after 5 in the morning. You need to get up. Now”.

“Why?” Korra complained, pulling a pillow over her head.

“Because we’re about to have a fucking baby and I don’t feel like taking the risk of you driving,” Asami said and pulled the pillow off her wife’s head.

“Good plan. I wouldn’t want me driving either”. Korra yawned and pulled the blanket over her shoulder. “We can talk about that later though. Right now, sleep”.

“Spirits, Korra!” She pulled the blanket off of her. “We need to go”.

“Go where? And why now?”

“The hospital. I’m in labor”.

Korra let out a tired chuckle and rolled to her other side. “Seriously?”

“Yes!” 

Asami grit her teeth as another contraction hit her. She knew the drive to the hospital was relatively short and that Korra could easily make it there in one piece. It just wasn’t worth the risk of having her no so level headed wife behind the wheel when the reality of the situation hit.

“Oh... oh!” Korra sat up quickly and swung her legs off the bed. “This isn’t that false labor thing, is it?”

“I’m going to kill you. No, it’s not”. 

“Shit! Okay. Um..” She ran a hand through her hair. “Let me take a piss real quick. I’ll get the stuff in the car. You.. you just wait here”.

Korra went to the bathroom and washed her hands quickly. Secretly thanking Asami, she grabbed the bag her wife had packed for their stay at the hospital and nearly ran down the stairs and to the garage. After tossing the bag into the back seat, Korra opened the garage door and started the car before running back up to their bedroom. 

“Ready?”

Asami was leaning over the bed and was only able to hold a finger up to her. She still managed to nod between deep breaths.

In the moment that Asami needed to ride out another contraction, Korra quickly made a group chat.

-Korra: so I guess we’re having a baby!

Opal: yay! Does she want us there?

Kuv: good luck.

Korra: I’ll ask her when she doesn’t look like she’s going to kill me if I say a single word, Opal.

Mom: we can fly up this weekend if you want.

Bo: good plan. Be prepared to be called every name in the book.

Dad: your friend is right about that!-

Korra rolled her eyes and shook her head before tucking the phone back in her pocket and also grabbing Asami’s and both chargers. 

“You good?”

“Y-yeah. Let’s get going. I really don’t want another to hit while I’m driving”.

Giving a short nod, Korra scooped her up with a quiet grunt and quickly carried her down the stairs and to to the waiting car. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me driving? It just to the hosp-“

“Shut the hell up and get in,” Asami told her as she got into the driver’s seat and quickly secured her seatbelt.

She figured this was going to be the second longest drive to the hospital she’s ever taken, the first being when Korra attempted to take her own life all those years ago.

_________________

Hours. Korra endured hours of being wanted close for physical contact and talked to, quickly switching to being kicked out of the room. And repeat. Now she was certain her hand and arm was bruised by Asami’s death grip. 

“He’s crowing, Asami. You’re doing great. Would you like a mirror to see?” The doctor asked.

Asami shook her head as she breathed heavily, taking the chance to try to relax before her body decided it need to push again. Instead she reached her hand down between her legs and felt the top of her son’s head. With a smile and tears in her eyes, she looked up at her wife.

“Korra..”

“I know,” she said softly, returning the smile and tucking some of Asami’s sweaty hair behind her ear. “You’re doing amazing, baby. You’re almost there”.

More crushing squeezes and screams came and went. And finally they heard a cry. The little boy was gently placed on Asami’s bare chest as both her and her wife shared sniffles and happy tears.

“H-hey there, little guy,” Korra whispered between sniffles and kissed the back of his head before giving Asami a soft kiss. “You did it, babe”.

Asami kept her hand on his little back, trying to bring him impossibly closer into her chest as she cried and kissed the top of his head. He was perfect even if he looked and acted like being born was the worst thing to happen to him. She couldn’t help but chuckle at the way he clenched his little hands into fists at her collarbones.

“Take your shirt off and lay with me”.

“One, we’re in a hospital”. She looked around and shot a teasing glare at the chuckling doctor. “Two, you just had a baby”.

“Oh, shut up”. Asami laid her head back against the pillow, exhaustion setting in. “You and I both know skin to skin contact is important after birth”.

“While I do strongly agree,” the doctor spoke up, “some congratulations are in order for you and your new son. Korra, would you like to cut the cord?”

“I... what?” She steadied herself against the bed. “Really?”

“Unless you don’t want to”.

“No no. I definitely do. Just.. wow”.

The doctor gently picked the baby up and flipped him over to place two clamps on the cord and handed the shears to Korra. With a bit of a shaky hand, she made the cut where the doctor showed her.

After doing the honors, Korra removed her shirt and laid next to Asami. The doctor gently laid the baby between and on top them for the desired skin on skin contact.

“He’s absolutely perfect, Kor”.

“He sure looks like you,” she said with a smile, tenderly stroking his head and rested her own against Asami’s.

“As if. I’m not that tan”.

“And I’m not that pale! You wanted a tribesman donor, you know”.

“Sweetheart. We agreed on that”. Asami adjusted him gently, placing his mouth near her nipple. “Besides, genetics are a bit weird so who knows”.

“Okay, well he has your hair,” she chuckled as she smoothed over the baby’s dark hair. 

“What do you want to name him?”

“Uh.. do you still.. want Nanook? If not we can-“

“Kor, it’s perfect. I just wanted to be sure we were on the same page”. A smile came to Asami’s face as Nanook latched perfectly and began to suckle.

“He’s perfect”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We got ourselves a baby finally!   
> I looked up Inuit names for the baby (as much as I really do appreciate all of your suggestions. Could be used later 👀) and.. 
> 
> Tonraq means ‘tiny man’ in Inuit. I found this out and you all needed to know as well. I laughed harder than I should have.


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I owe everyone a bit of an apology now. There’s a little thing I’ve been trying to figure out for a while that made it into this chapter. And it’ll explain why somebody hasn’t been brought up in a while. And I’m sorry. I couldn’t bear to write much more than what I did about it.. 🥺🥺
> 
> Buuuut, much more comes up this time and ooof we’re getting a big set up for a mess.

Korra got out of bed and picked a fussy Nanook out of his crib and held him close. She began to rub his back while softly shushing him.

“Kor?”

“Go back to sleep, babe. I got him. He’s probably hungry”.

“There’s a bottle in the fridge,” Asami told her, voice heavy with sleep.

Korra supported Nanook’s head as she bent over the bed to give her wife a kiss.

“I know. Get some more sleep”.

She continued to rub his back and tried to sooth him as she headed downstairs and into the kitchen. Grabbing a bowl from a cupboard, she filled it with warm water before taking the bottle from the fridge and placing it into the bowl. 

“I know, I know”. She whispered. “I can’t readily give you what you want. We gotta let it warm up, okay?”

Korra adjusted him so he was in the crook of her arm. She gently stroked Nanook’s forehead and cheeks in an effort to calm his crying. 

“You’re alright, bub. Just a little longer. Shhh”. 

She began to bounce him gently as she checked the temperature of the milk. Once Korra was certain it wasn’t too cold or too hot, she placed the nipple into his mouth. A relieved sigh left her as he began to suckle away. At times, she had felt terrible that she couldn’t just feed him like Asami could, that she had to wait for a bottle of her wife’s milk to warm up. While that was frustrating for her, it seemed Nanook didn’t mind either way. Especially if Korra removed her shirt and gave her son skin to skin contact.

“There ya go,” she whispered as she carried him to the den and sat on the couch. 

Korra gently rubbed his thigh with her thumb as she kept him cradled in her arm while holding the bottle with her other hand. She had always wanted kids but could never imagine how she would feel once it happened. No matter what, she would protect the baby in her arms with her life. If anyone wanted to harm Nanook, they’d have to do it over her dead body. 

She watched with a warm smile as Nanook sucked away at the bottle. As the days had passed and slowly turned to weeks, his eyes had begun to change from a deep blue to a lighter blue. And Korra would swear there were flecks of green showing through on the edge of his irises. Only a little more time would tell what his eyes would settle on. Even as an infant, she thought he had Asami’s smile. 

“You sure got that tribesman hunger I see,” she chuckled. “How are we going to keep food in the house when you start hitting puberty?”

Korra hummed softly as he finished his bottle and set it on the coffee table. She brought him up to her shoulder and patted his back, only to laugh quietly when he hiccuped and then burped in her ear.

“Alright, you little pro belcher, let’s get you back to bed”.

She went back upstairs and sat on the edge of the bed gently as to not wake Asami. Nanook grunted and stretched as Korra began to rock him gently in her arms. She still couldn’t get over how perfect everything was for her in this moment. She had a beautiful wife and a perfect baby boy. Even with all the wrong she had done in the past, she felt she must have done at least a little something right to earn this.

Once Nanook was asleep, Korra got up slowly and gently placed him back into his crib and kissed his forehead. 

“Did he give you much trouble?” Asami asked sleepily as Korra laid back down next to her.

“No, love. He just doesn’t like having to wait for his bottle to warm up when I feed him. Did I wake you? I tried not to. I’m sorry”.

“Shhh, sweetheart. You should know by now I’m not as deep of a sleeper as you are. Motherhood only makes it worse for some reason”.

“Whatever you say,” Korra yawned and snuggled up into Asami’s arms. 

“It must be true considering you sleep like the dead and he still woke you up,” Asami teased and kissed her wife’s forehead. 

“Fair enough. I suppose you’re right”.

Asami gently rubbed Korra’s shoulder with a content sigh. While the past month had been hard on them both with little sleep, she was still thrilled to finally have a start to their own little family. Unfortunately she only had a little over a month before she had to return to being a CEO. And that meant cleaning up deals she couldn’t get to during maternity leave. Pushing the annoyance down, she chose to be in the now, with her wife dozing in her arms and their son sleeping soundly nearby in his crib.

Knowing full well that she was about to have to deal with a dirty diaper and likely a hungry infant in a few hours, Asami pushed herself back to sleep. She knew she would continue to need any amount of sleep she could get.

__________________

Asami woke to an empty bed and sat up. She didn’t realize she had been so tired, she simply let Korra take care of Nanook the entire night. Getting out of bed, she noticed the baby wasn’t in the crib and could only wonder what kind of trouble her wife could find for an infant. With a quiet chuckle, Asami pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail and made her way downstairs.

“Of course you’re cooking. Where’s Nanook?”

“I thought I’d surprise you with breakfast. I know how tired you’ve been and all so-“

Asami couldn’t help but tease further. It was obvious that Korra was wearing the sling and their son was tucked safely in the pouch. “Korra, where’s the baby?”

“Shhh, you’ll wake him,” Korra chastised her wife in good humor as she turned the stove off and moved bacon from a pan and onto a plate. “But I’ll have you know he’s safe and warm”.

“Is that so?” She continued to tease as Korra turned to face her, a hand under the pouch.

“Definitely. He’s been changed and fed and..” Korra’s cheeks tinted pink as Asami crossed the kitchen cupped her face.

“And?”

“And you’re.. you’re so beautiful, ‘Sami”.

“What did you do?” 

Asami knew that Korra didn’t do anything bad. She knew what she was doing. And it was working. She ran her thumb along Korra’s bottom lip before giving her a quick kiss and turning her attention to Nanook snuggled into the pouch.

Shaking her mind from her sudden haze, she shot Asami a soft glare. 

“Seriously, babe?”

“What?” She asked innocently and lifted Nanook out of the pouch and held him in the crook of her arm. “Too much?”

“Six weeks is a long time, ‘Sami. And that’s what your doc said was at minimum. I’m trying to be respectful here but you.. you-“

“I what, love? Drive you crazy?” She asked with a soft smirk. 

“Spirits, yes,” she sighed and turned back to the food she had made and plated for the two of them before taking the sling off and setting it on the counter.

“Good”. 

Asami knew that probably wasn’t the right word to choose at the way Korra’s shoulders slumped slightly and she never glanced back over her shoulder. Instead, she hung her head slightly and moved to pick up the plates. The game was done now. Asami knew she pushed a little to far this time.

“Hey, kor, I’m sorry,” she spoke softly and placed her free hand on her shoulder. “That was too much. Listen-“

“Just.. just stop, okay?” Korra cleared her throat and stepped towards the dining room with their plates. 

Asami followed close behind, eyebrows knitted in concern. Normally her wife would tease back. Maybe she did push too far this time. She sat at the table as Korra put a plate in front of her before seating herself with her own.

“Korra, I’m sorry. I know it’s a lot. Do you really think I want to wait this long too? I do want you. Bad”.

Korra stayed silent, choosing to force herself to eat the food she made. She didn’t want questioned. And it wasn’t just the lack of sex while Asami healed from the delivery of Nanook. The closer her wife got to returning to work, the more worried Korra became. She still hadn’t mentioned the threats the letter from roughly a month ago contained.

“Kor?”

“Just.. please, drop it”.

With a sigh, Asami opened her robe and held Nanook close so he could also eat. “Korra, you act like I’m teasing you out of.. spite or something. I definitely do want to have sex again. And I’ve told you before, I have no problem-“

“It wouldn’t be fair!”

Asami fell silent at the twinge of anger in Korra’s voice and opted to begin eating her breakfast.

“Damn it, Asami, I know you wouldn’t mind getting me off. I know that!” She set her fork next to her plate and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “It wouldn’t be fucking fair to you. And I’m not compromising your healing just because I’m some needy bitch”.

“Woah! Calm down. Where the hell did that come from?”

Korra didn’t answer, just hung her head and went back to forcing herself to eat. She was getting tired of forcing her depression away, and, unfortunately for her, it was starting to show.

“Korra. Seriously. What’s going on?”

Still not receiving a response, she looked down at Nanook. A soft chuckle leaving her at the sight of her son sound asleep while still being latched to her nipple. Only a quiet sniffle drew her attention back to Korra.

“Sweetheart? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know!” Korra buried her face in her hands. “I’m just so tired, Asami”.

She knew her wife didn’t mean physically tired. And it worried her. Korra hadn’t said she was this kind of tired in a long time.

“How long?”

Korra shrugged with a sniffle and a sigh before dropping her hands back to the table. “Doesn’t matter”.

“Yes. It does. Kor, I can’t help if you don’t talk”.

“Weeks? A month? I don’t know. I thought it would go away after a few days as usual,” she admitted quietly and picked up a strip of bacon and looked it over before deciding to at least try to eat it.

“Where’s the blanket?”

“Upstairs in the nursery. Why?”

Asami stood and handed Nanook to her wife before tying her robe closed. 

“Because we’re going to talk, Kor. And as much as I love him, I’d like to hold you again. And comfort you like you need right now. Just because we have Nanook in our lives now.. it doesn’t mean you have to suppress your feelings. You’ll just.. end up going down a dark path again. I know how you work, sweetheart”.

After Asami started up the stairs, Korra looked down at her son asleep in her arms. A tear dripped from her chin and onto his forehead. She hated not having a fixable reason for her low days.

“Don’t be afraid to talk to us, Nanook. We love you. Let us know how you’re feeling. Please... please don’t hide away like I do”.

“Come on, Kor,” Asami called from the den after she folded the blanket in half and laid it on the floor. 

With a soft sniffle, she stood slowly to not wake her son and made her way to the den where Asami took Nanook and placed him gently onto the blanket. She then took Korra’s hand and led her to the couch.

“Now, Korra, what’s going on?” Asami asked softly and sat on the couch.

“I don’t know. Everything?” Korra sat next to her. “I feel like a shitty parent, shitty wife, overall just a shitty fucking person”.

Sighing, Asami laid back against the arm of the couch and pulled Korra down on top of her. “You’re not, sweetheart. Not at all. You’ve been an amazing mother to Nanook. You take care of him even if I insist on taking a turn. Not to mention how well you take care of me. You’re an amazing wife too. Is there anything I can do to help you right now?”

Korra shook her head against her neck and finally let herself cry. She hated that she had everything she wanted and still felt like this. She hated that even with the medications she would still slip down.

“Did the teasing upset you? You seemed okay until-“

“No. It’s not that,” she choked out. “Yeah, it’s frustrating and all that but-“

“You know I won’t be upset if you do it yourself,” Asami eased, rubbing Korra’s back.

“Spirits, I know. I have. It’s just not the same, you know that”. She pressed her face into Asami’s neck. “R-remember that letter?”

“Mmhm”.

“Asami,” Korra cleared her throat to fight more tears, “y-you can’t come to my next fight. Or... or any of them until this is all figured out. I’ve been talking with Lin and she’s-“

“What’s going on?” Asami’s voice was lowered, on edge. “I haven’t missed any of them. Why now?”

Korra sat up and tucked her feet underneath herself. Looking down at her lap she whispered, “I... you.. you’re not safe. Nanook’s not safe. I don’t want either of you around me in public for now. And you’re going to have full protection of Lin’s force wherever you go. And.. and here at home. I.. needed to tell you something about this before I gave Lin the go-ahead”.

“And what about you?” Asami asked, tears in her eyes as she sat up. She knew Korra wasn’t sharing all of the information. She knew her wife was in great danger by the look on her face.

“Whatever happens.. you protect yourself and Nanook. I’ll be fine. Don’t worry-“

“Damn it, Korra! When are you going to stop telling me not to worry about you? You’re my wife. You’re Nanook’s mom. Of course I’m going to worry about you just like I do every damn day. And now this?! Spirits, Kor.. I worry about you because I love you”.

Korra looked over to her sleeping son with a heavy heart. Every part of the situation hurt. She knew that she could lose them both, or they could lose her at any moment. A dark part of her was glad she was the main target. At least she had a warning this time. And at least it was made clear she was wanted dead. The who, how, and where were still a mystery, but if she could keep her family out of it, she was going to.

“You know.. I don’t think Mako was lying for once. The last time the Red Lotus came after me I was still with him. It almost makes sense the letter got sent there”.

“I thought we were past this bullshit. The treaty all the nations signed.. what about that?” She asked and wrapped Korra in a tight hug.

“It’s still active,” Korra whispered, returning the hug. “They’re trying to find them all”.

“I can’t lose you again”. Asami’s voice cracked as she couldn’t fight the tears any longer.

________________

As the day wore on, Korra’s mind grew darker. The flashbacks of what happened years ago began to plague her mind over and over. She felt like she was on autopilot. Thoughts of taking care of the impending doom herself were becoming frequent. 

But she couldn’t do that to Asami. She couldn’t do that to Nanook.

Instead Korra sat on the floor with her son and let him have some needed tummy time that evening before bed. She wanted to smile at the way he was just starting to be able to lift his head on his own. She wanted to smile at the way he kicked his legs. All she managed was rubbing his back with a sigh. 

“Are you doing okay, love?” Asami asked from the couch.

Korra just shook her head. 

“Do you need to talk?”

She gave a shrug.

“Korra..”

“What? What is there to even talk about, ‘Sami? Every single time everything is going great, something just has to come up and take it all away”. She rolled Nanook onto his back and tickled his belly for a moment before continuing, “seriously, I have you. You’re just.. you’re such an amazing and beautiful wife and I couldn’t have asked for better. And we have him and he’s just perfect. And... and..”

Asami quickly joined Korra sitting on the floor as her shoulders began to shake, not being able to keep the tears at bay. 

“.. and I miss Naga.. especially for times like this! I know I didn’t have a say in the matter, cause if I did.. she’d have lived for eternity. Old age wouldn’t exist. Just once.. I want things to just be okay and stay that way.. I’m so, so fucking tired..”

“Shhh.. we’re going to be okay, Kor,” she said quietly and pulled her into her arms.

She watched as Korra’s fingers flexed into the fabric of Nanook’s onesie. Even upset, she was so gentle with him. Asami felt her other hand grip onto the hem of her shit, seeming like if she were to let go of either of them, they would disappear. Korra hadn’t been this down in a very long time and it caused Asami great concern.

“How bad is it, sweetheart?”

The question only caused a strangled sob to leave her wife and that’s all the answer she needed. Unfortunately, that’s also when Nanook started to fuss.

Even through her own inner turmoil, Korra still reached out and picked him up, cradling him in her arms after releasing her grip on Asami’s shirt. She held him close, gently rocking him in an effort to calm him down.

“I can take him, Kor. He might-“

“No!” She didn’t mean to shout through her tears. Taking a deep, shaky breath, she brought her voice back down. “No. Please.. I need to at least.. try to be a halfway decent mother. Please.. Asami..”

“Okay.. okay. I’ll go warm up a bottle for you, alright?”

All Korra did was nod and held their son against her shoulder and cried quietly into his neck.

Asami bit her lip before making her way to the kitchen to warm up a bottle. Standing next to the counter, she finally let herself cry after putting the bottle into a bowl of warm water. She would be lying if she said she wasn’t terrified. Korra truly didn’t have to say more. Asami knew what she had wanted to say. Any time she was actually happy, unafraid, something always had a tendency to pop up and bring her down. And she wished she could face Korra’s demons head on and give them a piece of her mind.

Touching the pendant at her throat with shaky hands, she knew what Korra needed. She said forever and Asami was bound to keep that promise. She was going to fight by her side no matter what. Forever.

Gathering herself and the bottle, Asami made her way back to the den. She couldn’t fight the small smile that tugged at the corner of her lips at the sight before her. Korra had taken both her shirt and wrap off and was now laying on the floor with Nanook on her chest. Maybe they both had needed skin contact for comfort. 

“Don’t tell me you fell asleep”.

“No,” Korra sighed and opened her eyes. “He just decided you were taking too long so I.. he likes my warmth, okay?”

Asami sat at the top of Korra’s head and ran her fingers through her hair. “Like mother, like son I suppose”.

Humming softly in response, she sat up while keeping Nanook close to her chest.

“I have an idea, sweetheart,” Asami said as she sat behind her wife and kissed her shoulder before handing the bottle over.

Taking the bottle and giving it to the infant, Korra glanced back over her shoulder. “Not unusual, but go ahead”.

“Hold him.. a little lower,” she began as she adjusted Nanook in Korra’s arms. 

“Asami.. what-“

“Now, hold the bottle here,” Asami continued as she placed Korra’s hand holding the bottle against her breast.

“I.. I don’t understand..”

“It.. might not be the same thing that I get to do, but I just thought.. if I could trick your brain into thinking you’re providing in the same way I do-“

“It’s.. perfect enough,” Korra spoke softly as she watched Nanook suckle at his bottle. “You know.. you didn’t have to think of this”.

“I’m well aware of that. I just want you happy. And safe. Korra, I don’t care what that letter says. I’m going to protect you and him”.

“I appreciate it.. but he can’t lose both of us and I can’t lose you”.

“Then he’s not going to lose both of us and you’re sure as hell not going to lose me”.

She kissed Korra’s shoulder again and rested her hands on her waist from behind. A small smile played at her lips at the almost calm sigh her wife let out. Maybe she wasn’t completely okay yet, but Asami knew just how strong her wife was. And she knew Korra wasn’t going down without a fight.

Except maybe she would let Nanook win in a burping contest. Finally a soft laugh escaped her as the baby boy burped in her ear, only to have her tense up and shudder at the warmth on her shoulder.

“Ewww. ‘Sami? A little help?” Korra groaned as she felt the spit up run down the back of her shoulder.

Asami couldn’t help but laugh. Korra was usually always good about having a rag handy just in case of these scenarios. Ignoring the glare and pout her wife was giving her, she picked up Korra’s shirt and wiped her shoulder and back.

“Hey! I like that shirt..”

“I’ll wash it. Next time keep a rag with you,” Asami teased gently. 

With a huff, Korra stood and tucked Nanook into the crook of her arm before poking his nose gently. 

“Your mommy’s being mean. Let’s go to bed, little dude”. She turned and stuck her tongue out at Asami before heading upstairs.

Asami swore she heard Korra mutter something about a puppy when he gets to be a little older, but chose to ignore it.

“I see you’re feeling better!” Asami called after her, getting to her feet and picking the blanket up off the floor.

“Nope!” Korra called back.

Shaking her head, Asami started up the stairs. She knew Korra wasn’t doing better, but she was sure determined to make it seem that way. At least she was honest and said she wasn’t. Asami could work with that, even if it meant talking her down from the nightmares that were sure to happen again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I am SO sorry about Naga. I just.. the loss of a furry family member suuuuucks and I couldn’t bring myself to write a larger section of chapter about it. So.. I’m sorry for this kinda flyby send off.. but.. you needed to know why she hadn’t been mentioned in a minute 😢
> 
> 2) we got a mess on the horizon. Maybe spoilers(?): Korra’s mind is mean, Asami ain’t takin’ anyone’s shit, and remember the reporters? Yeah they’re gonna be back soon. Oh. And the Red Lotus is pulling some shady shit
> 
> 3) I hope that everyone who is getting blasted with snow is safe and warm! Where I’m at, they’re saying 8-12 inches of it.. if any of you have to travel in this weather, please be super careful and safe.


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strap in, things are starting to get bumpy again

“Turn it off,” Korra groaned and pulled the blanket over her head. 

“I know. I’m sorry, love,” Asami said as she rolled over to turn her alarm off. 

“Do you have to go back today?”

“Unfortunately”.

Asami pulled the blanket from Korra’s head and kissed the back of it. She could already feel how exhausted she was going to be later. The first day back from an eight week maternity leave could only mean piles of paperwork, sifting through contracts, and finding out what designs she would have to edit because of engineering flaws. Which meant, if she was actually lucky, she would get some hands on work with her engineers and build teams. Something she missed doing when she could for almost a year. The fumes wouldn’t have been good for the pregnancy and the smell of the workshop would even make her nauseous at times. Asami was ready to get her hands dirty again.

“I have a few bottles pumped for you to use in the fridge. And he could probably use a bath today if you’re feeling up to it. I’ll change his diaper for you before I leave, okay?”

Korra nodded with a yawn. Between the nightmares and insisting on switching on and off with Asami in taking care of Nanook through the night, she hadn’t been sleeping much. Korra knew better. She knew the lack of sleep was only going to make her mood worse if it continued much longer. It was already starting to affect her. No matter how much Asami would tell her to sleep more, especially on particularly bad nights, all she wanted was to take care of her son equally. Her mental state could wait. To her, Nanook mattered far more than her self-destructive thoughts.

Seeing her wife’s clear exhaustion, Asami ran her fingers through her hair. 

“Was last night too much?”

Korra shook her head.

“Are you sure it didn’t add to your sleep deprivation?”

“Yeah, ‘Sami. I’m sure. We did it early enough that we still managed to actually go to sleep at a normal time”.

They both acknowledged sex was going to be a new situation with an infant in the picture. Any time Nanook was asleep, they touched base with each other and if they were both in the mood, they just went ahead and did each other right then. It was even a new situation with Asami’s sensitivity and any soreness she was experiencing from breastfeeding.

“Okay, sweetheart. Are.. are you going to be okay home alone?” Asami asked in concern. 

Korra let out a soft sigh. “Yeah. I should be”.

“Bring me lunch, Kor. If you want to, that is”.

“I can do that,” she said with a small smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. 

There was a small grunt of protest as Asami got out of bed. They had gotten used to the schedule they created over the past couple months. They would take turns taking care of Nanook through the night, Asami would read to him occasionally through the day, Korra would spend other moments playing with him gently, they would switch off feeding and changing diapers. It was routine. Routine helped Korra’s mind relax just a little bit. Now, routine had to be broken. Asami had to go back to work.

A small frown came to Asami’s face as Korra pulled the blanket tighter around herself. After walking around to the other side of the bed, she tucked some hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead.

“I love you, Kor”.

“I love you too,” Korra whispered.

Asami didn’t like the faint waver in Korra’s voice. She wanted to stay home to make sure Korra was safe, especially from herself and her mind. After stroking her cheek softly, Asami went to the crib and picked up Nanook to change and feed him before she got ready for work.

It was decidedly going to be a long day.

________________

Asami pulled into her parking spot and turned the car off with a sigh. Her assistants and upper level managers told her she could take as much time as she needed, to not worry. What they seemed to fail to understand was how Future Industries was solely hers, a company with a dark past that she single handedly built back from ruin. And if anyone messed anything up while she was out, someone would be without a job. She hated to think of having to take that step, no one deserves to be without a steady job, but the lack of contact from anyone at the company concerned her.

Stepping out of the car with her bag, Asami was almost immediately met with the flash of a camera before she could close the door.

“What are you doing in here?” She grumbled at the reporter. “This is an employees only area”.

“Apologies, ma’am. We’re all just so thrilled to see that you’ve returned to work. Tell me, how is Chief Korra doing with the baby? Are you sure he’s going to be completely safe alone with her?”

Asami narrowed her eyes at the man. “Of course he’s safe with her. Korra’s a fantastic mother and would do anything for Nanook. You can go now”.

“Isn’t it a little unfair to you and your own culture to use a name that is directly from hers?”

“Are you being serious right now?” She could feel the irritation rising. “It was an agreement. We had several names picked out for him, together. If I didn’t want the name, we wouldn’t have picked it. Now, if you don’t mind, I do have to get to work”.

“Mrs. Sato, are you only immersing yourself into the Southern Tribe’s culture to ignore your own? And if so, is it because you have no family except for them?”

Asami set her jaw. 

_ How dare he.. _

“What would your father think?” He continued.

_ Don’t entertain him. _

“He would be proud of what I’ve done for this company,” she nearly spat out.

Thankfully, being in the public eye for so much of her life had quickly taught her how to face questions like this.

“Even if you didn’t follow his footsteps? Unless you have..?”

“He would be proud that I built it up from nothing”.

She pushed by him and went to open the door for employees when her wrist was grabbed.

“Off the record, Asami Sato,” his voice lost the reporter tone and grew darker, “it’s not you we want. By the end of this, you’ll have lost everything. Your wife, your son, that whole chieftain bloodline, and your company. Have fun with your new hire”.

Asami could feel her pulse quicken. Again, years in the public eye trained her to keep her feelings in check.

“Just that line?”

“Oh, no. This is just a start. We’ll take care of Unalaq’s children as well and restore him in the position he was meant to be in”. He dropped Asami’s wrist with a smirk. “Maybe it wasn’t so smart to come back to work and leave your wife and child at home, hm? Good luck”.

Asami watched at he turned and left before opening the door. Once the door latched behind her, she pulled her phone out to text Korra.

-call Lin. Now. Get someone at home with you-

Asami walked to the elevator, giving a smile to her receptionist before stepping in and hitting the button to take her to the top floor. She could only hope Korra was awake.

She unlocked the door to her office with a groan. Most of the time, she appreciated her assistants. Now, however, she wanted to smack their heads together for just piling mail and documents on her desk without much organization. Finally, after setting her things down and sitting at her desk to start sorting through the mess of papers, her phone chimed.

-why? We’re all good here-

The message came with a photo. Korra had Nanook in one arm and her toothbrush still in her mouth. It was just enough of her wife being a dork to make her smile. Only to have it fall when she remembered why Korra needed to call Lin as soon as she possibly could.

-long story. Watch yourself and Nanook around any reporters, especially if they seem out of place or alone.-

-babe.. you’re scaring me. Are you okay?-

-I’m fine. Please, call Lin. You’re not safe home alone-

Asami sifted through a few pieces of paper before stopping at one that caught her eye. Opening the envelope, her heart sank. 

-what’s going on?-

-they don’t want me. The Red Lotus wants you, Nanook, your family. Get Lin-

_ And now they even want Future Industries. _

-okay. Yeah, okay. I will. Please be safe, Asami. I love you-

-you too. I love you-

Out of paranoia, Asami slowly opened each of her drawers to check for anything that was waiting to harm her. She searched under her desk and even moved the paperwork around. Admittedly, Asami spent the next next hour just searching her entire office.

With a sigh of mild relief she checked her phone again. 

-I got Lin here. I’m fine, Nanook’s fine. Try to have a decent day at work, okay? I’ll see you at lunch-

Asami ran a hand through her hair and turned her attention back to the letter she had received before noticing another form on the corner of her desk. Picking up the sheet of paper, a glare that could wish the form in her hand to catch fire settled on her face. She specifically told her assistants to not bring on any new hires. A new hire that the reporter somehow knew of. And the name of that new hire nearly boiled her blood.

“What. The. Fuck”.

Hitting the page button on her phone, she got ahold of her secretary. 

“Schedule a meeting with all of my assistants and upper management as soon as possible, please”.

“Of course, Mrs. Sato. Are you planning to take your lunch at normal time?”

“I am”.

“Would the hour block prior to then work for you?”

“It will. Thank you”.

“Of course. And congratulations”.

“I appreciate it. He really is perfect”.

Asami ended the conversation and sat back in her chair, new hire form still in hand. She knew she would have to clean up some messes when she returned, but this was unexpected.

________________

“Hey, don’t worry, kid. I sent some of my best officers to her tower. She’s going to be one of the most protected individuals in the city until we get this situation figured out”.

“I know, Lin. I know this”. Korra sighed and looked at the baby boy on her lap. She tickled his belly and smiled back when he flashed a gummy grin before her face fell again. “I just.. I feel... insufficient. Like I should be the one standing guard at her office. I should be the one protecting her”.

“Listen, Korra. You’re protecting your son. You also know very well how strong Asami is. She’s not afraid to fight”.

“But she shouldn’t have to! Damn it! Why, Lin? Why can’t we just enjoy our life and family in fucking peace?!”

Lin let out a sigh and watched as Nanook started to wiggle around on Korra’s lap. She didn’t have kids or particularly enjoy them, but she could tell his mother’s yelling was upsetting him.

“Korra-“

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m probably just over reacting as usual, right?”

As stoic and hard as Lin was, her face softened and fell at Korra’s purely dejected tone. She knew the woman fairly well and this wasn’t the side of her she was expecting. Just as she was about to speak again, Korra stood while holding Nanook to her shoulder.

“I’m gonna feed him. Make yourself at home I guess”.

Korra walked off to the kitchen and started to warm a bottle for Nanook. She eyed one of the cabinets and worked her jaw. She knew she shouldn’t. She had an infant to care for. But her mind won out and she pulled it open and took out a bottle of rum. 

With a sigh, she opened it and took a long drink. It felt like everything was going wrong again. She was starting to feel useless. Like a terrible mother. The fact she was drinking with an infant in her arms only made that feeling worse. Which only led to thoughts of being a terrible wife for not letting Asami know how she was feeling. So another drink it was to drown the demons in her head.

“Don’t do this to yourself, okay, bub? Your mom may be a bit fucked up, but I’m gonna do everything I can to not let you ever feel this bad about yourself”. She took his bottle out of the warm water and checked the temperature before giving it to him.

Looking down at the baby in her arms, a tear dripped off her nose and onto his cheek. “You’re loved, Nanook. So, so loved. I don’t want you to ever forget that”. She sniffled before continuing, “as easy as it would be for me to just... take care of what the bad guys want myself, you’d still be in danger and I can’t let that happen. And I couldn’t ever do that to your mama again. Maybe when you’re older and can understand what I’m telling you, I’ll explain everything”.

Korra set the empty bottle on the counter and wiped the tears from her face. After taking another drink of the rum, she put the bottle back in the cabinet and brought Nanook to her shoulder and patted his back gently.

“I’m gonna make sure you know just how much you’re loved.. and wanted,” she whispered to him.

______________

“He what?!” 

Asami slammed her hands on the conference room table. Of course the one who decided to hire in someone new wasn’t going to show up to work.

“Ma’am, I apologize. We had no idea. I mean.. you know how well he communicates”.

She let out a frustrated sigh. “Listen. I need honest answers, starting now. I’m not playing this game with any of you. I leave for eight weeks to have and take care of my baby and you lot decided to go behind my back and hire... him?! How many of you actually knew? If I find out some other way than from yourselves, you won’t have a job here”.

Her assistants and upper management shifted nervously in their seats. The last thing they were expecting was for their boss to be so livid on her first day back. And it was a scary rarity to see Asami actually showing her anger.

“Yes?” She snapped at one of the men at the table.

“I honestly don’t think any of us knew, ma’am. He.. he went behind all of our backs with this. Would you like to terminate the new employee?”

Asami pinched the bridge of her nose. Yes. Yes, she did. Of all people, it had to be him.

“In time. I’m going to have to have a conversation with your peer first. If any of you see him, you are to send him directly to my office. As for our new addition... watch him like a hawk. I don’t trust him”. With a sigh, she checked the time. “This meeting is done for now. Return to your stations and duties”.

After the room cleared, she picked up the few papers she had brought with her and took the elevator back up to her office.

“You’re here a little early”.

“Oh, hey, babe. I got done with making your lunch a little earlier than I thought and this little bug had a good lunch himself and diaper change,” Korra said as she lifted Nanook into the air with a smile. “So I just kinda decided to show up. Hope I didn’t interrupt anything”.

“No,” she sighed. “Honestly, I would have been happy if you did”.

“That bad of a day?” Korra raised her eyebrows in concern and gave Nanook to Asami. 

Taking her son with open arms, Asami kissed his head and cheeks before sitting on the loveseat in her office. Korra quickly joined her after closing the office door and offered her a container of food from the bag she had brought.

“I knew I was going to have a lot of fires to put out,” she said and took the container with her free hand, “but this.. this is absolutely insane”.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Oh! Um, on my desk.. the top of the paper says ‘new hire documents’,” Asami said as she opened the container and watched as Korra got back up and went to her desk. “It should be a packet- yes. That one”.

“You’re on lunch, babe. Stop working so much,” Korra teased as she sat back down.

“Oh, shush. I wanted you to see this bullshit. Hold this,” she handed the container back to her wife and took the packet from her. 

All Korra could really do was raise her eyebrow as she sat there and held the container out for Asami. And then simply watch, almost in awe of how skilled of a mother she was already, as she let Nanook grip at her fingers of the hand that was holding him and flip the packet open with the other.

“I leave for eight weeks, right?” She started and took a few carrots from the container to munch on between explaining the situation to Korra. “So, I told them not to bring anyone else on unless they called me directly while I was on leave. Look at this bullshit”.

Korra took the packet back and looked it over before staring at Asami in shock. 

“What?!” She hissed. “Not only did they hire someone without your permission, they seriously hired-“

“Yeah. I’m not happy about it either. At all”.

The rest of Asami’s lunch was spent playing with Nanook and enjoying his giggles. Even if she kept stealing worried glances at Korra, she couldn’t help but smile at the way her wife could keep the string of giggles coming from their son going. Something still seemed off.

“Are you doing okay, sweetheart?”

With that question, Korra stopped playing with Nanook and just held him instead for a few moments. After giving his cheek a kiss, she handed him off to Asami to hold.

“Uh.. not really, no,” she sighed.

Asami rubbed her nose against Nanook’s and kissed his forehead before laying him on her lap to let him play with her fingers. 

“How much and do I need to keep him here?” She asked, not looking up from her smiling son.

“You knew?”

“I could smell it, Kor. How much?”

“J-just enough to take the edge off.. I’m sorry.. I knew I shouldn’t have. I’m a fucking moron, okay?! Why do you put up with me?!” Korra put her head in her hands, her mind was becoming a war zone.

“Kor-“

“You know what,” Korra muttered as she stood, “keep him here with you. You clearly love him more anyhow”.

“Korra!” Asami stood, holding Nanook to her shoulder. “What the fuck is going on?!”

“Everyone and everything is trying to kill me again! I just want this all to stop!”

“C’mere, Kor. Talk to me”.

Korra had one hand on the door handle when she rested her forehead and other hand on the door. She hated that her first instinct was to just run. That her thoughts have come back to wondering why anyone would actually care about her. That she had everything she wanted, and still felt like she didn’t deserve any of the happiness, that she felt like she wasn’t doing enough. That she just wasn’t enough.

Asami rested a hand on her back. “Hey, I love you. Open up, sweetheart. What’s going on?”

“I.. ‘Sami.. it hurts”.

“What does?” She began rubbing soothing circles into Korra’s back.

“My mind. I know it’s my damn head, but it won’t stop. I.. I just want it to stop..” her voice broke as she choked on a broken sob. 

“Just.. stay here, okay? Until I know you’re not going to.. be stupid about this. Go lay down on the couch. I have Nanook for now”.

Korra nodded and wiped at her eyes before walking back over to the loveseat and laying down on her side. She couldn’t help but wonder who was the worse enemy; the Red Lotus or herself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We’re entering some danger soon. But who? And how?


	55. Chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, everyone. Things are looking bumpy ahead. 😬

“Kor, I’m home!” Asami called out as she closed the door behind her and kicked her shoes off. 

The silence she received was nearly deafening. The security detail Lin had assigned to their home assured her that her wife was home and nothing was out of the ordinary. After setting her bag down, she decided to check the den. She wouldn’t have been surprised if she had fallen asleep with Nanook again, a sight she wouldn’t ever grow tired of.

“Korra?”

A smile came to her face as she rounded the corner to find her wife laid back in the recliner with their son sleeping on her chest. His bottle was tucked into Korra’s elbow where it must have fallen as they both fell asleep. Asami’s smile quickly faded when she noticed the hand on Nanook’s back was also holding Naga’s collar and Korra’s other hand limply holding a quarter full bottle of rum on the arm of the chair. 

Asami knew Korra was bound to have a rough day after the way she woke up in the middle of the night with a scream and in tears. She just hoped it wouldn’t have been as bad as it appeared to be. The TV wasn’t even on, easily making Asami aware that Korra wasn’t doing well. At all.

After taking the liquor bottle from Korra’s hand and setting on the end table, she gently moved her other hand from Nanook and picked him up, leaving Naga’s collar in her hand. Korra was a fantastic mother. The only issue now was that she was drunk and trying to take care of an infant. Asami did have to admit that she was still doing a good job as his diaper had been changed recently and was obviously also fed. With a sigh, she cradled Nanook in her arm and took the empty bottle from Korra’s elbow and headed to the kitchen.

Nanook stretched with a grunt before opening his eyes.

“Well, welcome back to the waking world, sweetie. I hope your mom didn’t cause you too much trouble. How drunk was she, hm?”

Asami stroked his cheek gently. A smile creeping to her face as he grabbed at her fingers.

“My, my. You’re getting stronger by the day”.

She brought him up and kissed his cheeks and nose, receiving a little giggle in response.

“I’m worried about your mom, you know. I promise she’s not usually like this. She went through some really bad things when she was younger than she is now. Unfortunately, it’s all creeping back up again. Your mom isn’t feeling well... but she’s still taking care of you no matter what. She’s so strong. Just.. talk to us if things are ever rough for you”.

________________

Korra woke with a groan and rubbed her face. As she did, the leather of the collar against her cheek and jingle of Naga’s tags brought her back to reality quickly. Something was missing.

_ Nanook. _

“Damn it,” she grumbled to herself and quickly stood up. 

Putting the collar on the side table, she noticed the bottle of rum. Korra dug the heel of her hands into her forehead and grit her teeth to ward off the tears. She knew Asami was home by now. And probably absolutely livid with her. 

_ I’m seriously the absolute fucking worst. _

Letting out a frustrated groan, she decided to go look for Asami and received her lashing. After all, she deserved it.

Standing at the base of the stairs, Korra sighed heavily. She hoped Asami was actually somewhere downstairs, not having the energy to deal with a flight of stairs more than once. So she picked a hallway and started her search, which was thankfully short as she passed the pool room only to backtrack and stand by the door.

She watched through the window as Asami played with Nanook in the water. With her heart in her throat, she began to open the door.

_ I couldn’t even be awake when she got home. _

Korra was almost happy that Asami had her attention on their son. She wasn’t ready to talk.

_ What kind of mother am I? Getting drunk with an infant in my arms. It just put more on Asami’s plate. Neither of them deserve this. Maybe if I just..... _

“Korra?” 

She didn’t realize she had made it to the edge of the pool.

“Hi, babe. H-how was work?” She asked, desperate to keep the topic off herself.

“Work is.. work. I’m pretty sure he’s going to end up killing himself with the machinery one of these days. Who just puts their hand into a turbine without making sure the power supply is cut and locked out?”

Korra just nodded. She had to agree it was pretty idiotic. But she had to know...

“You still haven’t fired his ass?”

“Kor, I can’t just fire people at random. As much as I’d love to, believe me, I can’t. He hasn’t given me a real reason other than just being there. And that’s not enough to fire someone over”.

Korra chewed her lip. She knew Asami was right about that. There had to be a better reason than just not liking someone. That still didn’t stop her from wanting to take care of it herself.

“His record isn’t enough? Seriously?!”

Asami fell silent for a moment, dripping water over Nanook’s head to at least keep him happy.

“Korra.. I wasn’t the one who hired him. The one who did took some vacation time, likely to avoid me. He knows he’s without a job when he gets back. Anyhow, he was hired in regardless of his criminal record. With corporate politics.. I can’t use it against him now”.

“So... you’re just going to work with him and let the past go? Okay..” 

Korra folded her arms and went to leave the pool room when Asami’s voice stopped her.

“Join us, love. He’s gonna be a real swimmer when he’s older”.

“I dunno, ‘Sami,” Korra sighed. “I can just stay in here but-“

“Are you still too drunk?” Noticing the way her shoulders slumped at the question, Asami continued, “yes, Korra. I know. And spirits, I know you don’t want me to see you drinking so much again, but please stop getting drunk when you’re home alone with Nanook. Do I need to start taking him to work with me?”

“No,” Korra replied quietly.

“Then come have a swim with us. Just for a little bit. It could.. help”. 

As much as Asami wanted to talk about the situation she had walked in on, she could see in Korra’s eyes that she was already beating herself up over it. But she wasn’t trying to run away again. It was at least some progress.

“I, uh.. do I have to swim?” Korra asked, nervousness evident in her voice. 

That alone concerned Asami. Her wife rarely turned down time in the water. In fact, she loved to swim almost as much as she loved to fight.

“Korra,” she started, worrying her lip, “what’s wrong? You.. never turn down a swim. Let alone spending time with our little man”.

“I’m just.. tired,” she said softly while rolling the bottoms of her sweat pants to above her knees and sat on the edge of the pool with her feet in the water.

With a slight frown at Korra’s demeanor, Asami handed Nanook to her and stepped between her legs. She let herself search her wife’s eyes as she played with her son, letting him grab her fingers and work to bring them to his mouth. There was an inner war she could see just below the surface, a look she hadn’t seen in Korra in a long time. A look of distant fear. However, the love she had for Nanook was still a little more prominent.

“Hey,” Asami whispered and rested her hands at Korra’s waist. “Talk to me, sweetheart. What’s going through your head?”

She flicked her eyes to Asami briefly before looking back to the infant in her arm. All she wanted was to have a real smile come to her face as Nanook put one of her fingers into his mouth. She wanted to smile at how strong he’s become already.

“I don’t think you want to know, babe,” Korra barely whispered.

“No, I do. Kor, I’ll always want to know. I’m not a mind reader. I can only know what you tell me and only guess how you’re feeling based on what I see. From what I walked in on when I got home, my guess is that you’re struggling pretty bad again. You’re not sleeping much and when you do actually get some restful sleep for more than an hour or two, it’s because you’ve been drinking”.

Korra kept her eyes focused on Nanook, trying to figure out how to actually put her feelings into words. It wasn’t something she was particularly good at, preferring shrugs or hand gestures. It was easier than words. Words made her thoughts and feelings too real.

“I.. um.. I don’t know”. She shrugged. As usual. “Just.. ugh! Why can’t I just.. say this shit?!”

“Breathe, love. I know it’s.. hard for you. Try a few words at a time. We don’t have to get in depth with it. I just want to know where you’re at”.

Korra sighed with tears in her eyes and poked at Nanook’s nose teasingly after he let go of her finger. Words were hard.

“Useless.. not good enough? Broken. Terrible wife and mother”. 

Asami gently rubbed Korra’s sides with her thumbs. She was expecting what she heard, but it still hurt her to see her wife in so much turmoil. Wanting to know one last thing, she chose her words as carefully as she could.

“Are you having those thoughts again?”

Korra nodded with a sniffle and pulled Nanook to her shoulder, embracing his little body.

“B-but I can’t do that to you again,” she said softly as the tears slowly fell from her eyes. “I can’t do that to him. I can’t.. hurt you both like that”.

“Okay”. Asami pulled herself out of the pool and sat next to Korra on the edge, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Alright. I’m right here, love. I know it might not help you feel better, but I still think you’re an amazing mother. You take care of Nanook so well, even if you’ve been drinking. He gets fed, changed, and even played with. You’re also a fantastic wife. Kor, you take care of me. You always make sure I’m okay. I feel safe with you. You.. you always do everything you can to brighten my day if I’ve had a rough one”. 

Korra only nodded slowly. She hated everything her mind was screaming at her. All she wanted was to see herself in the same light Asami did.

________________

“Clear out your office and go home. You deliberately disobeyed my orders of no new hires”.

“Mrs. Sato, if I may point out, you still have him working here, even after two weeks. He can’t be that bad”.

“I don’t want him working here. It was also a surprise I didn’t want to come back to after my leave. This is not negotiable. Gather your things and go”. 

With a sigh, the man across from her stood. “You don’t know what’s coming for you, Asami”.

“Excuse me?!”

“The Lotus is here, and has been for a little while. Even right under your nose. Fortunately for us, you married Korra. It’s gotten so much easier to get to her”. He smirked. “And you’re not free from it either. Future Industries is going to be ours. If you wouldn’t have married the tribal bitch, you wouldn’t be in this mess”.

She narrowed her eyes in a hard glare and stood from her chair. “Is that a threat?”

“Oh, no. It’s a promise. First, that little boy. Then Korra and your.. in-laws. Then you”.

“You leave my son out of this!”

“Or what?!”

Before Asami could respond, she felt the back of his hand make contact with the side of her face. It completely caught her off guard.

“You’re nothing but daddy’s little girl and he’s not here to protect you from-“

She cut him off with a swift kick to his ribs, following through with a left hook to his jaw. Her blood was boiling. Asami sent another kick to his knee, causing it to buckle. As he fell, she brought her knee up under his chin. 

“Still think I’m daddy’s little girl?” She spat and walked to her office door to open it and signal for a guard. 

She watched as her former assistant was hauled off and decided to call Korra.

“You okay, babe? You really never call when you’re at work. Shit! Is it your lunch break already?! Damn it. I’m sorry. I’ll get there as soon as-“

“Just.. just get here. We have a situation. And no, it’s not my lunch break yet. I’ll explain it when you get here”.

_______________

“Wait.. wait a damn minute, ‘Sami. You don’t think..” Korra gawked after hearing Asami explain everything.

“Unfortunately.. I do. Why else would Mako have been hired? The one who did hire him was a Red Lotus member. It only makes sense”.

“No..” Korra gave Nanook to her wife. Her mind was in overdrive and the absolute last thing she wanted to do was accidentally hurt him during an outburst. “No. No! Fucking damn it!” 

She began pacing around Asami’s office, hands in her hair. It all made far too much sense.

“Korra..” Asami tried to sooth, bouncing Nanook on her lap.

“He... he.. that fucking liar! That’s why Zaheer never fucking killed him! That’s why he... he was slowly trying to kill me.. He couldn’t do it outright, it would have been too obvious. So he abused me slowly, gradually inflicting more and more dama- fuck! The file.. his file.. it showed the progression!”

“K-“

“Fuck!” Korra slammed her fist into the wall, creating a hole. “When I see that smug fucking face of his.. I’ll beat him within inches of his sorry fucking excuse of a life. After what he did to me.. he really tried to get me killed that day”. She let out a dark laugh. “He never loved me”.

Asami knew words were going to be lost on her wife for the moment. Nanook startled at the sound of another hit to the wall. She pulled her son close, gently rocking him. It seemed the crying infant brought Korra back to her senses, at least a little bit. 

“Sorry.. I’ll.. I’ll, uh, fix the wall,” Korra sighed and sat on the floor, back against the wall. 

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s all a mess. I still need more.. proof to get him out of this company”.

“I know. I know you’re trying. I can’t believe this..”

“Are you.. okay?”

“I don’t know. I’m pissed. I’m hurting. Part of me wishes he just would have killed me. The other.. I’m so happy he didn’t. I have you and Nanook and I’m sober. Mostly. It’s gonna be a bit for the... drinking to get back under control. But that’s a whole different issue. Spirits, you might just want to keep me away from this place until you can fire him”.

“Breathe, Kor,” Asami said in an effort to reign in her wife’s rambling. “We’re gonna make it through this and be oka-“

With a sigh she stood and answered the phone on her desk. 

“Mrs. Sato speaking”.

Pause.

Asami’s face fell. Korra couldn’t tell if it was out of pure anger or fear. Either way, she didn’t like the look.

“Why are you calling me? I haven’t spoken to you for years for a reason!”

Korra stood slowly and walked over to Asami. She silently offered to take Nanook while she dealt with whoever decided to piss her off further. Her wife handed him over while working her jaw.

“No! You do not get to tell me to calm down! After everything you did.. your the poor fucker who got mom killed!”

Korra backed away with Nanook tucked safely into her arms. This was obviously not a fight that was hers to fight.

“What?!” Asami spat through the phone. “Hiroshi Sato, I swear to the fucking spirits if you’re lying to me...”

That’s when Korra saw fear take hold in Asami’s eyes and her heart sank as she quickly motioned her over before tapping and swiping quickly at her phone.

“So, your prison buddies-“

There was a pause as she slid her phone to Korra, Opal already being called. As Korra quickly grabbed the phone to talk to Opal, Asami grabbed a notepad and pen, quickly jotting down a few words in hopes Korra could make a conversation out of them for her friend.

Bombs. Need to evacuate entire tower. Now. Opal, Bolin, take Nanook. Hide him.

Korra looked to the babbling infant in her arm, tears in her eyes as she relayed the information to Opal. This was bad. Very, very bad.

“Thanks... dad”.

Korra ended the call with Opal and patted Nanook on the back. “They’re on their way. What about the company, Asami?”

“It’s,” she pinched the bridge of her nose, “going to be fine. This place is more of a figurehead place. Offices mostly. There is a shop in the basement, but that’s mostly prototype work. We have production facilities everywhere. Clearly it’s me they’re targeting. According to my father”.

“You trust him?”

“As shitty as he is.. he’s always loved Future Industries. Not only is this an attack on me, it’s an attack on his beloved company. Whichever he cares about more, I’m not worried about. I don’t think this is a bluff”.

Korra nodded with a sigh and kissed Nanook’s cheek. “So now what?”

“I’m going to call Lin after I page my secretary and security. Just.. get Nanook out of here”.

“Right..” she gave Asami a kiss. “Please, baby, be safe. He needs you.. I need you”.

“I love you, Korra. Forever”.

“Broken bits and all, Asami. I love you. Forever and then some”.

_______________

Korra almost made it out of the building without incident. Almost. Just as she passed the front desk, a hand came around her throat and blue eyes met a blazing amber. For some reason, she froze. Even as Mako tightened his grip, she did nothing. Even as his other hand worked Nanook from her grip, she felt frozen in time and space. 

Memories flooded her mind. Every holding of hands, every kiss, every date night. Then blood. Gunshots. Caring hands turned violent. 

_ Nanook! _

Korra didn’t quite realize she had fallen to her knees, tears running down her face, until her child wasn’t in her arms. Only then did her blood come to a boil, seeing Mako’s back as he walked away with Nanook under his arm.

Rage took over and she was on her feet, sprinting after him. She had said she would beat him within inches of his life, now she was having second thoughts. She wanted to take all of the inches from him. Before she could get to him, she saw Bolin throw a strong punch to his brother’s face. 

She watched as Opal took a crying Nanook from Mako and held him close. Watched as Bolin landed a few more punches to his brother. She knew there was commotion, that Opal was saying something to her. Her ears didn’t want to work until the first explosion rang out.

_ Asami! _

“Korra!”

“Opal, go! Now! We’ll see you at your place”. 

Korra turned on her heel and ran to the stairs, taking three at a time to get to her wife. As much as she wanted to help Bolin take care of Mako, Asami needed to be safe first. Nanook was safe now.

Korra went to shoulder Asami’s office door open, breathing heavily from sprinting up the stairs, when it opened and she stumbled through and into Asami’s arms.

“What are you doing up here?! Where’s Nanook?”

“You,” she panted, “I came up for you. Nanook’s fine. Opal has him. Mako was getting the shit beat out of him by Bolin before the first explosion. Let’s go”.

Korra picked Asami up and put her over she shoulder and began to rush down the stairs. Flight after flight, she could feel Asami’s fingers digging into her back. 

“I love you”.

“Kor-“ Asami was set on her feet and roughly shoved towards the doors.

“Run, damn it!” 

Korra shoved her again. Only to have her wrist grabbed and jerked forward. She broke Asami’s hold on her wrist, a sad expression on her face, as she gently shoved Asami in front of some guy who was evacuating. She watched the guy pick her up and carry her out, Asami’s hand still reaching out for her, as a tear ran down her cheek. 

_ Why am I doing this? _

She grabbed a passing man by the jacket. 

“Is this the last of them?”

“I.. there’s one more, Chief Sato. He’s coming. Um.. early 20s. Blonde”.

Korra nodded and let the man go before turning and rushing back to the stairs. That’s when she saw a mop of blonde hair coming right at her. She caught him as he fell and began to carry him out.

“Thanks, Chief. I-“

“None of this is your fault, okay?”

“What?”

Moments after passing an electrical room, Korra went deaf. She felt heat hit her back. The last thing she could even slightly remember was landing on top of this 20-something year old before her vision went black. 

_______________

Asami waited. And waited. The people pouring from the building came to a stop just as another, hopefully the final, explosion shook the ground. Reality hit at that moment. Korra never came out. She felt sick and fell to her knees in disbelief.

A manger from somewhere downstairs crouched next to her and put his hand on her shoulder. 

“She’s fine, Mrs. Sato. I’m sure she made it out. She asked if I was the last one”.

“I.. no.. she’s still in there. I would have seen her”. 

Commotion. There was too much commotion and noise. It was all only adding to Asami’s nausea. Until a familiar voice brought her back around.

“Where is she, Asami?” Lin asked quickly.

“I don’t know. Still inside, I think”.

“Mako’s... been dealt with. He’s going to be locked up for a very, very long while. I’ll need to know everything your father said. As well as your former assistant. We’ll go through everyone here and make arrests as needed”.

Asami nodded, unable to fight the tears any longer. As she still sat on her knees, she watched a figure come through the smoke billowing from the shattered glass doors. She could tell the figure wasn’t her wife, but still stood back up. 

With Lin at her side, Asami took long strides to where the man had sat himself just outside the doors.

“I.. I tried.. Mrs. Sato. I’m sorry”.

Asami raised her eyebrows in concern as the young man before her started crying. Swallowing hard, she willed herself to look at the broken doors. And sure enough, there was her wife, face down and covered in soot and blood. She rushed over and sat next to Korra’s head and pushed the hair off her face. Quickly feeling for a pulse, she found it. Still strong and steady.

“Wake up, sweetheart,” she cried. “Y-you did it. We’re all safe”.

And still, Korra didn’t move.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, well. The angst is back.
> 
> Bo really did say, “not today!” though 
> 
> Hope y’all are still enjoying this hot mess 🥺😁


	56. Chapter 56

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have so much to explore now 😬 it’s gonna get.. interesting

Korra faintly smiled and pressed her head into the touch of the hand on her cheek. She would know that hand anywhere. She cracked her eyes open and turned her head to kiss Asami’s palm.

“Hey, baby. Aren’t you supposed to be working?”

Asami adjusted Nanook on her hip and gave Korra a kiss. “Did the explosion rattle your head bad enough you forgot you’re married to a CEO? I can step away from the phone and computer for a while. Besides, I wanted to see you and so did he”.

She let out a soft hum and then grunted as she pushed herself up to sitting. “Lemme see our little man,” Korra said, holding out her arms.

Asami placed Nanook on her lap. She watched with a smile as her wife held him so he was sitting, supporting his back with one hand and tickling him gently with the other. Korra’s hands and forearms were still bandaged from the burns and the cuts on her face were healing well. If she was in any pain, she sure wasn’t showing it.

“How are you feeling today?”

“Hmm.. just tired and sore. I’m so tired of being hospitalized already. When can I come home?”

With the hand that wasn’t supporting Nanook, she began a one handed game of peekaboo and earned little laughs.

“You’re probably still going to be here for a few more days, Kor. They’re just worried about infection still. Otherwise, they’d be willing to discharge you today. I know that’s not what you wanted to hear”.

“Yeah,” she sighed. “How’s the tower?”

“I have reconstruction started. Thankfully they weren’t quite smart enough to place any... explosives in critical areas. My father was sure to place structural reinforcements throughout the building when he designed it, specifically for attacks like this”. Asami sat on the edge of the bed and stroked Nanook’s hair. “You know he wasn’t the best man, but he took the right precautions in making sure he would be safe. And now, it saved us, Kor”.

Korra nodded and caught Nanook as he lunged himself forward. “Woah, little dude. Where do you think you’re off to?” 

She brought him to her chest and let him sit on one arm while her other hand still supported his back. The burns hurt, but she was going to do her best to ignore it. Seeing her son giggle and grab at her lips and nose was worth it.

“I’m... going to the station with Bo later”.

“What? Seriously?”

“I need to talk to my father. Kor, we wouldn’t have known if it weren’t for him. If it weren’t for him... all of this would have been so much worse. And Bo wants to pay his brother a visit”.

“That makes two of us,” Korra grumbled around Nanook putting his fingers in her mouth.

“You’ll get your day to confront him soon enough, love. How are your legs and back feeling today?” Asami asked as she rested a gentle hand on Korra’s blanketed thigh.

“Oh, ya know- hey, now,” she laughed as Nanook grabbed ahold of her nose and blew on his face playfully. “Still really sore. I guess I took some shrapnel from the electrical room and a few burns on my legs”.

She was staring to see small grimaces of pain flash on Korra’s face as Nanook wiggled around and played with her. Asami really thought about taking him back, but couldn’t bring herself to. Her wife smiling was something she missed seeing over the past few weeks. She was going to let Korra have this.

“How much do you remember?” She asked softly.

Korra’s face fell slightly. More and more kept coming back over the past week and a half. Some nights she had to call a nurse to sedate her so she could sleep. The nightmares were intense and vivid. 

“Almost everything,” she whispered. “The, uh.. nightmares are pretty bad. I was really hoping it wasn’t going to be like the jewelry store all over again”.

“It won’t be”.

Korra raised her gaze from Nanook to Asami. She wasn’t sure how it could possibly be any different than before. The nightmares, the PTSD attacks. It was all the same.

Seeing the mild worry in Korra’s eyes, Asami tried to sooth her, “the feelings might be the same, I’ll give you that. But, Korra, this time around... you’re not facing it alone. You’re with someone who actually loves you truly and deeply. I’ll be there for you through all the nightmares and attacks, just like I did before. You’re.. not alone this time”.

Korra nodded with a sigh. Just maybe this time around wouldn’t be so hard. Maybe this time, she wouldn’t turn back to her old ways. She jumped slightly as Nanook began slapping his little hands against her cheeks with a giggle.

_ Okay. Yeah, this time has to go differently. _

Pulling her head back with a soft yet stern look directed at her son, she poked his forehead. “Alright, ‘Nook. That’s not very nice to do to people, okay? We don’t hit people”.

Asami couldn’t help herself and let out a laugh.

Korra gave her wife a pointed look before turning back to Nanook. “Unless you do what I do for work. Or self defense”.

“That’s better,” Asami laughed. “You can’t just say not to hit people when you do just that every month or so”.

Korra stuck her tongue out at her wife before kissing Nanook’s cheeks. She couldn’t wait to get out of the hospital to spend more time with him and Asami at home. She really did miss them both.

_________________

“So,” Bolin started as they waited to see their respective prisoners, “you wanna see him too?”

“I...” Asami sighed. “I do. I just don’t know if it would be a good idea. Everything is still fresh and I don’t want to fly off the handle and do something I regret”.

He gave a shrug. “You know, the chief would probably turn a blind eye to you beating his face in. And, uh, I’m really sorry, Asami”.

“For what? None of this is your fault, Bo. Everything that’s happened was such a sick game of chance. From me dating Mako, to meeting Korra, to having a family of my own, all the terrible things in between... so much of it was just.. chance. Maybe some luck during the good times”.

“Listen,” Bolin placed his hand on her shoulder, “you two haven’t been able to catch a break for a while. Korra’s told me that it feels like one good thing happens and then several things end up going wrong. So.. Opal and I decided.. we’re gonna take Nanook so you two can go on a vacation for a bit”.

Asami opened her mouth to protest, closing it again with a soft glare as Bolin raised his other hand.

“Opal said you can’t argue. We already kinda, sorta let your boat captain know to take you both to Ember Island-“

“What?! When?”

“When Korra’s well enough to travel. So.. a couple months?”

“Fine,” Asami conceded. It’s not like she had a choice.

“Bolin? Mako’s ready for his visitation”.

He looked to the guard that called his name and turned back to Asami for a moment.

“Good luck with your father”.

“Don’t kill your brother”.

“I’ll do my best. Meet up-“

Bolin let out a surprised grunt at Asami wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug. He returned the gesture gently.

“Thank you, Bo. For everything. Even if you were an ass for defending your brother for a little while. And yes, meet back here”.

“I think it was just hard for me to actually believe it,” he said as Asami ended the hug. “I really am sorry”.

_________________

“Bo”.

“Mako”.

Bolin sat at the visitation table across from his brother, a look of betrayal evident on his face.

“I can’t fucking believe you, Mako. I spent so long trying to convince myself you changed. That.. that you got the help you needed. You knew that Korra was one of my best friends!”

“And that’s why I didn’t want you being friends with her. It wasn’t ever the drugs or the drinking. You’re an adult and I’m not dad. You can be friends with whoever you want. I didn’t want you to have to lose a close friend”.

“Well, what about Asami then? Were you just that bad with women at that time?”

Mako sighed. “Yeah. Something like that”.

“And what about being a cop?!”

“It was a great disguise, wasn’t it? I almost got away with it all. That fucking cunt just had to come forward..”

Bolin stood and brought the back of his hand across Mako’s face. And again. And a third time for good measure. The only thing that kept coming to mind was the image of his brother holding Korra by the throat and wrestling Nanook away from her. 

“She has a child, Mako! Are you that fucking stupid?! Both of our parents were killed! You really want another kid to experience what we did?”

“He wouldn’t have had to”.

With that comment, Bolin grew enraged. He grabbed Mako by the front of his shirt and jerked him up until the chains around his hands and prevented him from lifting further. 

“You we’re going to murder an infant?! You really are nothing but a piece of shit”.

He slammed his first into the side of his face.

“Fuck you, Mako! You’re not my brother. You’re not family. We’re done!”

He landed another punch before letting go to leave Mako slumped on the table. Bolin walked away and signaled one of the guards to open the door. 

With that, he left Mako alone and without any family left.

__________________

Asami wasn’t sure what to do. She wanted to both just leave and hug Hiroshi. Not seeing him, even outright hating him, for years caused her feelings to become conflicted now that he essentially saved not only her life, but Korra and Nanook’s as well. 

So much had changed. She could see the beginnings of tears forming in her father’s eyes. The look he had on his face spoke of longing and regret.

“You.. you’ve grown so much, Asami. Please, sit”.

Sitting. Asami felt she could at least do that. It wasn’t running away or forcing physical contact. Depending on how this conversation went would directly affect any sort of future with the man in front of her.

“I don’t really know what to say, Hiro- dad. I guess I just want to know.. why?”

“You’re my only child, Asami. Yes, we’ve had our disagreements and I completely understand why you wanted nothing to do with me. Being in here.. it’s given me a lot of time to think. I won’t ask for your forgiveness, but I do want you to know how sorry I am. And I’m also so proud of everything you’ve accomplished”.

Asami reached into her bag and pulled out a chess set. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard if she had something to occupy her mind.

“I thought you’d like to play. Like.. like we used to”.

“Of course”. Hiroshi smiled. “The others here never stand a chance. I’m more than ready for someone.. my caliber”.

Asami set up the board and took the first move. 

“You know, I do have to admit I was a little surprised you married a woman. A chief of the Southern Tribe? It’s.. a good fit. How is Tonraq, by the way?”

“He’s great. Definitely raised Korra right”.

The two took a few turns in chess. Each stopping to come up with a new strategy after a couple moves.

“It might be wrong of me to ask, but would I get to see my grandson soon?”

Asami snapped her gaze from the chess board to Hiroshi. She almost couldn’t believe he even asked that question.

“I’ll... have to think about that,” she said quietly before taking another move.

“I understand,” Hiroshi replied and took his move.

Asami worked her jaw for a moment. She knew her father was getting too old to worry about wars. But she needed help. She was tired of everyone coming after Korra and her family.

“I need your help”.

Hiroshi looked up and adjusted his glasses. It wasn’t often his daughter ever asked for help. Even when she was a kid, she preferred to figure things out herself.

“What’s going on?”

“Well,” Asami started, “I’m tired of the Red Lotus coming after Korra, and in turn myself and Nanook. I... want to put a stop to it”.

“Asami, I’m getting too old for wars”. She watched has he moved a piece before continuing, “but.. I can still help you. I have many regrets in my life, but you were never one of them. I can... bring up some plans. You know my codes for schematics so I don’t doubt that you could figure it out. And I can also give you whatever information I can from inside”.

Asami stayed silent for a few moments. She didn’t want an all out war, just for the Red Lotus to be eradicated. And at this point, by any means. She nodded as she moved another piece.

“Can I trust you? This... this won’t get anyone hurt or killed, right?”

“That’s.... going to be the plan. I’ll get some intelligence work done before we move forward”.

“Again, dad, can I trust you or am I going to have to leave the city and take Korra and Nanook with me?”

“Trust me just this once. Think it over for a week. I’ll give you a call then and you can let me know”.

Asami nodded and bit her lip before moving a chess piece.

“Checkmate”.

Hiroshi smiled at his daughter and nodded.

“Good game”.

_________________

“Korra? Hey. You okay?” Opal tried to get her attention. “Korra?”

Korra took in a sudden sharp breath and pulled the children in her arms close. Her true location came back. She was still in the hospital. She was safe. A tear slipped as her lungs begged for air.

“Korra?” Came Garnet’s little voice. “Why crying?”

“Wh-what? No.. shhh. I’m.. I’m okay, Garnet”.

Opal furrowed her brows in concern. She knew it was a flashback. Biting her lip, she watched as Korra adjusted Nanook onto her chest and Garnet cuddled up under her arm. 

“Hey, uh... could you turn the TV off? I can’t handle the noise right now,” she sighed.

“Of course”. Opal turned the TV off and sat back down in the chair next to Korra’s bed. “I can always take them back home, you know. If it’s too much”.

“No. They’re fine. Asami’s probably going to stop by again soon anyhow. It’ll take our little stinker off your hands”.

“Oh, stop it. Watching him isn’t an issue at all. He’s an amazing kid already”.

“Just like his mama,” Korra said with a smile. 

“Mommy? Is Asami here?” Garnet asked, poking her head up from under Korra’s arm.

“No, not yet, sweetie. She will be soon, though”.

Korra laid her head back with a soft sigh. She wanted to be alone, but also needed someone with her for the moment. She was definitely happy it was Opal that came by to visit with the kids. It helped take her mind of off everything. Even if just a little bit.

“Have you thought about getting a dog again?”

Korra lifted her head and looked to her friend. “I.. maybe when Nanook’s older.. so he can pick a puppy. I, uh.. already got that chance in my life.. I couldn’t ever replace Naga”.

“No, Korra. Not to just have a dog. A service dog. I know Naga wasn’t fully certified or anything, but.. for the PTSD. It could really, really help you. Especially as you ease yourself back into public-“

“Thanks, Opal. But.. I don’t know. I... I’ll have to think about it I guess”.

“Hey, he can still pick a puppy when he’s older. This is about you”.

Korra nodded and laid her head back down with a sigh. Maybe a service dog wasn’t such a bad idea. As much as she wanted out of the hospital, the thought of having to leave the safety of the building was anxiety inducing. She began wondering if they could sedate her when she was discharged so she could just wake up in her own bed, in Asami’s arms. 

“I’ll think about it, okay? They were saying something about getting me discharged in a few days anyhow. I guess it could help keep my mind occupied for now”.

A smile came to her face as Nanook stirred awake with a grunt and he pushed his head up under her chin. Maybe things could finally just keep going right for a change this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What you doin’ Asami, dear?? You don’t like war 🤭
> 
> Korra maybe getting a service dog soon?
> 
> Bolin’s only blood family lies with Opal and his daughter now... I’m sure he has some feelings over that.
> 
> What’s happening??? 🤫😅


	57. Chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No thoughts, head empty. 
> 
> Basically, Korra’s super anxious and Asami is stressed 🥺

Asami looked to Korra sadly and adjusted Nanook on her lap. The doctors told her that she had begged for sedation a few hours prior but that it should be wearing off soon. Asami didn’t even need to ask why. She already knew.

Korra had told her a couple days earlier that loud noises were starting to really bother her. Even the TV was too much at times. Asami suggested muting it, but in Korra fashion, her wife protested the idea, saying it would be too boring without the sound and she would just rather have it off. She knew Korra was simply ready to be done with hospitals and be at home with her and Nanook, but she was growing concerned with how the noise of having a child would affect her.

Asami was pulled from her thoughts as a soft groan came from the bed next to her. 

“I’m here, sweetheart. You can keep resting if you want”.

“No,” Korra mumbled sleepily. “I missed you”.

“I missed you too, Kor. How are you feeling?”

“I’m good”. She stretched and rolled onto her side before pulling the blanket up under her chin. 

The way Korra never opened her eyes only made Asami certain her wife was at least still half asleep. She wanted to smile at her sleepy voice, a long time favorite sound of hers, but couldn’t. The sleep in Korra’s voice was only drug induced, not from a true restful sleep.

Asami laid Nanook next to her and pulled the chair closer to the bedside so she could supervise easier. 

With a smile and sigh, Korra freed her arm from the blanket and placed her hand on Nanook’s stomach. “Has he been good? Or am I gonna have to lay down the law?”

“If you could convince him that if he would hold still while he gets his diaper changed, the faster he can get back to scooting himself around. Spirits, I don’t know if I’m ready for him to start walking,” Asami laughed softly. Nanook was loving his newly found strength and figuring out he could start to move around. It was only a matter of time.

“He’s gonna skip it,” Korra was still mostly mumbling while rubbing the infant’s stomach. “He’s just gonna... zoom. Who needs to walk when he can sprint?”

“Okay, well.. then you need to come home so you can chase him around”.

“Then go tell that to the doctors,” she huffed. 

Asami couldn’t fight the smile that decided to show up. Korra had clearly forgotten that she was going to likely be discharged the next afternoon. She knew that Korra’s mood was, unfortunately, only being helped from the sedation. But for now, she would take it. It was only a matter of an hour, give or take, until it would fully wear off.

“Did you forget you get to come home tomorrow?”

“Oh.. yeah. Yeah I did”. Korra finally opened her eyes with a dopey grin. “That’s pretty cool, huh?”

Letting out an airy laugh, Asami kissed her cheek. “Yes, love. It’s.. pretty cool”.

Korra yawned and rolled onto her back with a stretch before picking Nanook up and sitting him up on her stomach. She made a few faces at him to get him to laugh, even if she was still waking up.Looking into the dark blue green eyes of her son, her face fell slightly.

“‘Sami? I wanna go home but...”

“But what, love?” Asami gently urged and rubbed Korra’s arm comfortingly.

“I... I’m scared. I’m safe here.. what if I leave here and they come after me again? Asami, I don’t want to leave. Please.. I.. I want to stay”.

Asami noticed her grip on Nanook had tightened slightly as she fought tears and anxiety. She stood slowly and laid herself next to Korra, helping her relax her grip and have their son only supported with one of her hands on his back. With the other, Korra let Nanook poke at her fingers and palm in interest. 

“H-he’s really getting stronger and more interested in everything by the day, huh?”

“Don’t change the subject, Kor,” Asami said softly and put her arm behind her wife’s neck to ease her head to her shoulder. “What are you afraid of exactly?”

“P-public places? Being out in the open. At this point, I don’t even know who is and isn’t a part of the Red Lotus. I mean, you could be for all I know. Even my dad”. Korra shifted uncomfortably in Asami’s arms. “Everyone is out to get me at this point,” her voice finally broke. “I can’t do it, ‘Sami. I can’t go home”.

“Okay, shhh. C’mere,” Asami spoke softly and held Korra close. Running her fingers through the ends of her wife’s hair, she continued gently, “I swear to you I’m not a part of those terrorists. I want them all to pay for what they’ve done to our family, what they’ve done to you for years. I’m sure your dad can speak the same sentiment. I don’t know what I have to do to prove that to you, but I’d do anything. I love you, Korra. Unconditionally and always”.

Korra let Nanook bring her fingers to his mouth. She sniffled as a barely there smile tugged at the corners of her mouth at the way he gripped and tried to use his improving coordination to get at least one of her fingers into his mouth.

“I want them to sedate me, Asami. At least a little bit. It’s... it’s really, really bad. C-can they do that?”

Asami noticed the hand Nanook had a hold of was starting to tremble.

“Were you like this after the jewelry store incident?”

Korra nodded with a sniffle. “But not this bad. I was so eager to get out of the hospital, even if I was partially paralyzed. Being in public and in the open was hard for a while, but I felt like I could do it. M-Mako never really left my side for the first month or so,” Korra sighed. “It made it easier, having a cop with me. I mean.. looking back now, after everything we just found out, it wouldn’t have mattered”.

“But at the time, you didn’t know all of this. Korra, I’ll be right by your side in public and at home for as long as you need me to be. But,” Asami gave the top of Korra’s head a kiss, “I’ll still see if they can give you something to help so I can get you home. I’m also... proud of you for actually saying what you’re feeling and thinking. You’re getting so much better with that”.

___________________

Asami had left the hospital and gone home after a quick lunch with Korra so she could rest. She was now sitting in the rocking chair in the nursery while Nanook slept in the crib in the room, staring at the contact she had pulled up in her phone. Asami needed to talk to someone. She hit call.

“Asami? Is everything okay?” Tonraq asked from the other end, worry evident in his voice.

“Mostly, yes. Korra’s fine, but incredibly anxious to be discharged tomorrow. She’s asking for some kind of sedation to get home. But,” she cleared her throat, “that’s not why I’m calling”.

There was a brief silence before Tonraq asked, “what do you need to talk about?”

“The Red Lotus. I, uh, talked to... my dad about finishing them off. I’m tired.. so tired of them coming after Korra and our family, including you”.

Asami tried to hide the tears in her voice. She really did. But who was she kidding, Tonraq and Senna knew her nearly as well as Korra did. She couldn’t hide the fact she was angry, tired, and even scared. This all just needed to stop. All she wanted was to have some peace with her family, without the looming treat.

“Are you suggesting a war?”

“I... no. I don’t want a full out war. They’re everywhere, Tonraq. A war would just... it would be world wide and we don’t have the resources or man power for that. Anywhere. My dad said that he could get some intel from inside the prison. Who’s even in charge anymore?”

“The same person who always has been, Asami. My brother. Unalaq. Don’t worry, I have him under control. He’s masterminding all of this and there was a blatant attempt on Korra’s life. Again. An attempted assassination of a chief is punishable by death here”.

Asami cleared her throat and wiped the tears from her eyes. 

“How can we prove that, though? All the media keeps saying is that it was a terrorist attack but nothing about who was behind it”.

“It’s the media itself,” Tonraq tried to ease her mind. “The Lotus is within the media, so of course they’re going to censor it. If you’re asking for my opinion, I say to let Hiroshi gather the intel. If you trust him for that. Then, you hold a live press conference. They can’t really censor that. Get a paper trail started and then we can talk more”.

She stayed silent for a moment, mulling over Tonraq’s words. A press conference could work. It would just come down to working the headline correctly so it wouldn’t be obvious as to what was going to be said.

“Right. I can do that”.

“Have you talked about this with Korra?”

“N-no,” Asami sighed. “I’m more concerned with getting her home and not stressing her out further about this right now. I hate keeping her in the dark, but-“

“You’re doing the right thing for the moment, Asami. She... needs a break”.

Even though Tonraq couldn’t see her, she still nodded. He was almost painfully right in saying that. Korra most definitely needed a break for a little while. 

“That she does,” she said quietly. “And thank you. I just... really needed someone else’s opinion on this”.

“Any time. We hope to see all three of you soon. As much as we’d love for you to fly down, or us to fly up, there’s too much of a threat. Be safe and.. take care of Korra. She’s really going to need you”.

________________

Korra sat on the edge of the bed, chewing at her lip. She was ready to get out of the hospital, yet not at all ready to be away from the safety. 

“Hey, you ready, love?” Asami asked and gently tilted Korra’s head up to meet eyes with the hand that wasn’t holding Nanook. “I know you can do this”.

“The meds haven’t taken effect yet, ‘Sami. I... I don’t know if I can do this. There’s bound to be press”. Korra squeezed her eyes closed, fighting away her rising anxiety. “What if there’s Lotus members amongst them? What if they’re armed? Hell... what if there’s a fucking bomb in a trash can?”

“Shhh,” she tried to soothe, gently stroking Korra’s cheek with her thumb. “We’re going to be okay, sweetheart. Lin has a security detail for us”.

“What if they put a bomb on your car while you came in to get me?” Her voice shook as a tear squeezed from the corner of her eye. 

Asami sighed softly and set Nanook on Korra’s lap before kneeling down in front of her. She knew there was no way that was going to happen with the way Lin had posted security for the entire way to her car, including security to stay with the vehicle. She even made the decision to stand guard at their home herself. The chief of police had thought of everything before the two of them even considered it.

“Do you trust Lin?”

Korra nodded and wrapped her arms around her son to help support him sitting.

“She has all of that under control, okay?”

Another nod came from her wife as she pressed her lips to the top of Nanook’s head before whispering, “just a little longer?”

“Only until the medication kicks in. And don’t lie to me that it hasn’t”.

“I won’t”.

Korra spent the next half hour keeping herself focused on Nanook. Asami had brought a bottle so Korra could feed him, giving her a bit of a sense of normalcy. He then started to try to grab at the pendant on Korra’s necklace. And finally a small smile came to her face. Even after every little thing that happened, all the things that have gone wrong, she still had her family. She still had the woman of her dreams and they had a perfect little boy together. 

Korra decided that she could do this for them, even if the medication she was given for her panic hadn’t fully set in yet.

“I’m ready”.

“Are.. are you sure? I don’t want it to be too much, Korra. You can take your time with this if-“

“Asami, I’m.. I think I can do this. I’m ready to go home and spend time with you and this little guy,” she said and stood, raising Nanook in the air and sticking her tongue out at him. It was a something she would do often that he seemed to particularly enjoy if his giggles had anything to say about it.

“O-okay”. Asami stood back up as well and gave her wife a soft kiss after she brought their son back down and held him to her hip. “Let’s.. go home”.

She picked up the discharge paperwork from the bedside table and linked her arm with Korra’s. Asami knew she was likely going to need someone to lean on if the press decided to get a little too rowdy with questions and she was prepared to put them in their place if needed. Korra needed a break.

Before they knew it, they were at the main doors of the hospital and Korra took a deep breath and hiked Nanook up so he was sitting on her forearm while holding onto the shoulder of her shirt. She was doing everything she could to keep the anxiety and flashbacks at bay, and so far, it was mostly working.

“Are you sure, Kor? We can sit in the lobby for a little while if you need to”.

Korra nodded and gave her son’s cheek a kiss. “I’m sure”.

Sure enough, as soon as they made it out the doors, the press was shouting questions, one after the other. Some were about her fighting career and when she would be seen in the ring again. Some asked about her home life and how the events of the past few weeks would affect it. Others went as far as comparing this traumatic event with her previous one. And still others praised her heroism in making sure everyone was out of the Future Industries tower.

Asami could see and feel Korra grow more and more tense at each question and was about to address the crowd herself when Korra cleared her throat. She held up her hand to silence the shouts as best as she could.

“Alight, alright. Everyone listen cause I’m only going to say this once”.

Korra looked over the crowd and took a deep breath before stealing a quick glance to Asami and unlinking their arms.  Before she started again, she wrapped her arm around Asami’s waist and pulled her close. A small, faint smile came to her face.

“I just want to continue my recovery at home, in peace. I’m going to spend some much needed time with my wife and son until I’m physically able to get back in the ring. And I’m not quite sure how long that’s going to be, but I’m not retiring yet. I appreciate the well wishes. All I ask from all of you is to please... give my family and me some privacy”.

Korra gave Asami’s hip a gentle squeeze and started leading them to the parking lot. 

“Kor, I’m.. proud of you. For everything. You never fail to amaze me with just how strong you are. I just...” Asami looked to her wife, only to see her already looking back. “I just wish you could see yourself the way I see you”.

Korra hummed quietly as she buckled Nanook into his car seat. She gave his forehead a quick kiss before turning to Asami and pulling her into a tight hug. 

“I love you, Asami. Let’s go home”.

“I love you too, Kor. So much”.

They shared a lingering kiss before they parted and got into the car. Asami didn’t want to admit just how ready she was for Opal and Bolin’s idea for a vacation for just the two of them. She definitely missed showing Korra just how much she loved and wanted her. Doing that was mildly difficult with an infant that could wake up and interrupt them at any moment. A vacation was needed, but Korra also needed to finish her physical recovery. A couple more months shouldn’t be too hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know this one was a touch shorter. My brain kinda died and the chapter kinda ended pretty naturally with a smidge of a cliffhanger.
> 
> A life update for everyone:  
> I’m still gonna try for a chapter this weekend, but after that... chapters might start coming out slower. And that’s because I’m FINALLY starting trucking school for my Class-A CDL on Monday!!! 😁😁  
> The class is going to make for a long, long day. Which means it’s gonna cut into some time I use for writing. Which also means, there might only be one chapter Monday-Friday instead of the usual two, and still definitely one on weekends (unless I can pull off getting two done. Then I totally will)  
> I’ll also probably answer comments a touch more frequently instead of waiting just before I post a new chapter 😅😅 even if it’s just so I can chat with all of you 🥺❤️❤️


	58. Chapter 58

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This past week has been... one hell of a week, you guys. My brain is absolutely fried so you get some upset Korra and worried Asami. And then some reflective Asami and a sleepy Korra. With a fleeting cliffhanger if you’re not paying attention 🤭👀
> 
> I’m gonna throw in a TW for suicidal ideation/thoughts.

Korra was sitting on the edge of the bed and looked at the pill bottle in her hand and gritted her teeth. She threw it across the bedroom and put her face in her hands just as Asami came from the bathroom. It was just another added medication she didn’t want to be on. She felt crazy enough as it was with the two she had been on for a decent amount of time now. The additional pill just made that feeling worse. 

_ Maybe this is all just in my head. I don’t need this shit anymore. I mean, I should be happy. Maybe I’m just insane. Pills won’t fix me. I’m happy. I’m happy... _

A sob escaped her as she leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees. A gentle hand was placed on her back as Asami sat next to her. It was a comforting gesture, but it only caused her shoulders to shake more as her sobs grew harsher. Asami always told her how strong she was, but Korra felt anything but strong in this moment. Her wife didn’t deserve to see her like this. She had so many times in the past and now it was happening again. And again, she felt like a burden to her.

Asami raised her eyebrows slightly in concern and wrapped her arms around Korra and pulled her into a side embrace. She gently eased her head to her shoulder and let her cry into the side of her neck. It was a small effort to try to quiet her down a little so she wouldn’t wake Nanook, but mostly it was an effort to try to bring some comfort. And effort that didn’t seem to work as well as she’d hoped as Korra dug her fingers into her back, as if holding on for dear life.

“Do you need to talk?” Asami asked softly, knowing all too well that if she had asked if she wanted to talk it would have been a no.

Korra shrugged and sniffled between her broken cries.

Kissing the side of her head before smoothing over her hair comfortingly, Asami looked to the pill bottle on the floor. She knew it was the new one. Korra always hated that she was on medication for her mental health as it was, this additional pill seemed to push her over that much more.

“Kor,” Asami kept her tone quiet and gentle, “talk to me. Please. What has you this upset?”

Korra pressed her face further into her neck with a few sniffles. “I’m so tired, ‘Sami. I just feel.. crazy. I just want to be normal and not have to be on... that shit”.

Asami tightened her hold ever so slightly and rested her cheek against Korra’s head. She began to rub her back gently before moving her hand up to massage the back of her wife’s neck.

“You’re not crazy, sweetheart. A lot of it is just a chemical imbalance that you have no control over. Your medication helps that. Not only that, you’ve been through so much trauma. It only makes sense that you have nightmares and that certain things will trigger your mind”. 

“But... what about you? You were in an accident and... and your mom was murdered and your dad’s in jail. And,” Korra swallowed hard, “you had to deal with me and all my drug use and drinking and then I tried to kill myself more than once. ‘Sami, you’ve had trauma too”.

Asami had wanted to cut her off right before she brought up her suicide attempts, but Korra was talking. She wasn’t trying stuff her thoughts and feelings down and away, so Asami let her have this. Clearly she needed to talk, even if she might not exactly want to. Words were just spilling from her lips, even if it was muffled by her pressing her face to Asami’s neck and between broken cries and sniffles. Korra was using her words, finally.

“I have. And I do still have nightmares about all of it. The difference is I don’t have the underlying mental health problems you do”. Asami stopped massaging her neck to run her fingers through her hair. “Some people might say it’s just in your head, to think about happier things, to not let it get to you. But... Korra, it’s all very real to you. Everything that head of yours tells you.. it’s real. And it’s valid. You’re allowed to feel what you do. If I could get in there and destroy all of your demons, I would in a heartbeat”.

Korra shook her head slightly with a sniffle. “No, babe. You don’t want to be in my head. It’s dark and terrifying and everything hurts. Damn it, I just don’t want to feel like this anymore. I just wanna shoot-“

“Don’t you dare finish that, Korra Sato,” Asami whispered through gritted teeth, fighting her own tears. 

As bad as she wanted to know how her wife was feeling, those kinds of words scared her. They always set off her anxiety, knowing Korra’s history about her wanting to truly die for extended periods of time and knowing her several attempts. It was terrifying to think that she would try again and succeed. 

Asami rested her hand on the back of Korra’s head and pulled her in closer before laying down on the bed with her in her arms. This wasn’t at all what she was expecting when her wife had said that she was ready for bed. Korra had already taken her other medications, it was like running on autopilot for her at this point, but the new one broke her down. 

Korra’s cries had died down to sniffles, but she was still trembling in Asami’s arms. She hated her mouth for working faster than her brain, nearly admitting what her mind wanted her to do. All she wanted was for the small voice in the back of her head telling her how much of a burden and how crazy she was to shut up. Preferably forever. Korra felt she had everything she wanted so she should be happy and just couldn’t figure out why her mind wouldn’t let that happen.

“Kor?”

“Y-yeah?” It was barely a whisper.

“Is... is that how you’re really feeling again? Just tell me the truth”.

Asami tightened her hold when she felt Korra tense up.

“I.. Asami, I don’t want you to freak out and-“

“And worry? Seriously, Korra? Do we really need to have that conversation again? I just need to know how... serious you are about it right now”.

“N-no. I know you’re always worried about me. I know that. But...” Korra sighed. Suddenly words were very, very hard to use.

“Sweetheart, please. Just... just tell me the truth. I can’t help you if you don’t,” Asami tried to sooth.

Korra swallowed hard. 

“I, uh.. everything just hurts. I want it to stop. I want to be able to sleep, not constantly watching around me in paranoia, and just.. I just want to feel happy again”. She cleared her throat and cuddled closer to her wife. 

“I have you and Nanook. Mako’s in jail. Bo and Opal are always there for us, even if we just wanna chill. Kuv isn’t a huge bitch anymore. The Lotus is slowly falling apart. I’m a chief. My fighting career is great. I’m sober. Damn it, I have everything I’ve ever asked for and... and I still feel like this? What’s wrong with me?! Why do I have all of this good and still want to fucking die?!”

A sob caught in Korra’s throat at the moment her thoughts became words. She dug her fingers into Asami’s shirt as she apologized over and over. It just slipped from her, again with her mouth working faster than her brain. And panic took hold when Asami scooted away from her and stood up from the bed.

Korra sat up quickly, tears running down her face. “Asami?! Wh-where are you going? I’m sorry. D-don’t go. Please, don’t leave me”.

Asami’s heart all but shattered at the way Korra hugged herself as she cried. The fear and worry on her face didn’t help the pain of what she needed to do. She didn’t want to let go of Korra, not when she was so broken. But her wife needed this. 

“I’m not going anywhere, Kor,” she said quietly and crossed the room to pick up the pill bottle.

“Asami.. please.. I’ll do anything. Don’t go,” she cried.

Sitting back down next to her wife, Asami held the pill bottle out to her. Only then did she realize that Korra wasn’t completely in the present.

“Korra, sweetheart? Hey.. I’m right here. I’m not leaving you”. She placed a hand on her arm. “I just needed to get this for you. You need to take it”.

“No..”

“Kor-“

“I’m sorry I kissed her! I know I fucked up, okay? What do I have to do to-“

Asami had set the pill bottle beside herself and grabbed Korra’s face gently to look her in the eyes. 

“That’s in the past, Korra. If you keep yelling, you’re going to wake Nanook. I’m right here and I’m never going to leave you again. I promise”. The last two words came as she lightly touched the pendant at her wife’s throat. “I love you”.

“I’m sorry,” Korra shakily whispered, turning her gaze away from her wife. She knew she overreacted, even if Asami was going to say she didn’t.

“Don’t apologize, love. Can you please take this?” She asked as she held the bottle out to Korra again. “You know it’s also a sedative”.

Korra nodded quickly and took the bottle. She opened it and took a pill out, quickly tossing in into her mouth and swallowing it dry before giving the bottle back. All she wanted was to sleep, get her mind to shut up for a few hours.

Korra wiped her eyes and face before scooting herself under the blanket.

“Babe? I.. I really am sorry,” she whispered. 

“Don’t be,” Asami told her quietly and got under the blanket with her wife and pulled her close. “I’m just.. glad you told me. I can only work with what you give me. Let me help and fight this with you”.

She nodded slowly and pulled Asami’s hand up to her mouth and kissed her knuckles. 

“I love you, ‘Sami”.

____________________

Asami looked to Korra asleep on the couch, Nanook on her chest also napping. It had been a couple days since she had admitted to having some suicidal thoughts and Asami rarely let her out of sight for too long. She had already stored away Korra’s medications and was dosing them out for her and the alcohol in the house was secured away with only low proof being accessible without her permission. Asami felt she may be going overboard with the precautions, but it wasn’t worth the risk not to. She knew Korra knew exactly what she was doing, but if she actually cared that Asami was taking so many precautions, it never showed.

Maybe Korra actually appreciated it.

Asami jumped as her phone rang and quickly answered it so it wouldn’t wake the two sound asleep on the couch.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Asami. It’s just me. Have you given our.. discussion further consideration?”

She let out a sigh. “Gather information, dad. That’s all I want for the moment. Whatever you find will determine how I want to move forward”.

“I understand. I don’t have very long to be on the phone. How are you and the family?”

A small smile came to Asami’s face and she looked at the two most important people to her on the couch.

_ My family. _

“We’re doing okay, dad. Korra’s just been...” she cleared her throat, “worrying me a bit more than normal”.

Hiroshi hummed on the other side of the phone in both understanding and thought. 

“You know, I only ever met Tonraq and his family a few times. One of the last times I saw him and Korra, she was still very young, possibly around the age of 5 or 6”.

Asami fell silent. She was a year older than her wife. That meant the last time Hiroshi saw Tonraq and his family, her family, was either the year her mother had been murdered or the following year. Or somewhere in between that time. 

“Did he know?”

“Excuse me?”

“Dad! Did Tonraq know about mom?”

She needed to know. 

“No, Asami. I never told him. He was never part of my personal matters”.

“D-dad...”

“I’m not lying to you. I promise that. Would it be okay if I were to.. meet your wife?”

Asami let herself look over Korra’s features. Strong, yet so soft. Even if the one pill was the only reason she looked at peace, Asami was going to take it. Her eyes wandered from her face to the infant on her chest. It was hard to believe he was only months away from walking, already trying to pull himself up. But only trying. He wasn’t quite strong enough to get it without a little help.

“Asami?”

“Oh, sorry. They’re just.. they’re both asleep and it just... I... it feels..” she groaned in frustration as she couldn’t find the words to describe what exactly the feeling was.

“I know the feeling you’re talking about. I always got that way when I would walk in to find your mom asleep with you. Hold onto that. Unfortunately, there isn’t a single word that can describe it. The closest I could ever get was unconditional love, but even then, it doesn’t seem adequate”.

“I’ll have to ask her if she would be okay with going to see you”.

“Of course. I do have to get going”.

“Um.. call me again. N-next week?”

“I can do that. Talk to you then”.

Just as the call was cut due to it timing out, Asami whispered, “I love you, dad”.

The words from her own mouth confused her. She hadn’t told him that since she was in her teens. He was getting older. Maybe, just maybe, she could forgive him. She could let him hold his grandson if Korra agreed to it. She could have Korra meet her father-in-law if she wanted. She could have her father back.

“‘Sami?” Korra’s voice was still full of sleep.

“I’m right here. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. You’re crying, babe. What’s wrong?”

“What?” Asami touched her face, and sure enough her fingers made contact with the dampness on her cheek.

Korra tried and failed to suppress a yawn and gently rubbed Nanook’s back. She was fighting to keep her eyes open, but the early evening sun coming through the window was just too bright.

“What’s wrong, babe?”

“Are you even going to remember this conversation?” Asami barely laughed. 

She wasn’t particularly sad. Just a little upset that she couldn’t bring herself to have this kind of talk with Hiroshi until now.

“Mmmmhm. I’m awake”.

“Barely,” Asami teased.

“Damn it, ‘Sami. Just tell me what’s wrong”.

“I just got off the phone with my dad is all. I never thought... I’d want to have a relationship with him again”.

Korra hummed softly and stretched her legs with a yawn. Asami got up from the chair she was in and went to the couch, lifting Korra’s legs to sit under them.

“And,” she continued, rubbing Korra’s thigh, “he wants to know if you’d like to see him”.

“So he can kill me for not asking for his blessing? I’ll pass,” she tried to joke through the drowsiness.

“It’s nothing like that, Kor,” Asami chuckled.

“I know. Yeah, we can go see him whenever”.

Nanook started to fuss as he woke up, stretching and trying to roll under Korra’s hand. A small smile graced her lips as she patted his back and picked him up off her chest, holding him so he was standing.

“Your turn to feed him,” Korra said softly and barely able to keep her eyes open, letting her son bounce in her hands. 

Asami laughed and reached over to take Nanook. Lifting her shirt, she exposed a breast and held her son close as he latched on to have his dinner. 

“Sweetheart?”

“Yeah, we can bring him too”.

Korra yawned again and rubbed her eyes. Maybe she shouldn’t have snuck in another pill earlier when she accidentally found where Asami had hidden them. She was still absolutely exhausted.

“I love you”.

“I love you too, ‘Sami. So much,” she whispered as she let her eyes fall closed again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I can, I’ll try to rip out another chapter tomorrow. We’ll see how that goes if my brain is less fried 😅
> 
> But yeah, class starts Monday! I’ll really, really try for 2 chapters in a 7 day period. It’ll all depend on how well I can find a new routine with basically working a “mid shift” again.. 
> 
> I’ll definitely be watching the comments more closely though. Feel free to ask questions or if you just wanna chat, I’m down for that as well. I love you all! 🥺❤️
> 
> Also, also... I was reminded of a song earlier that just.. it fits the story and the first half of this chapter. It’ll be in the playlist (yes, it’s still going 😁) but:
> 
> 1-800-273-8255 (I Don’t Wanna Be Alive) by Mack Method


	59. Chapter 59

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, school is going pretty well so far. My brain hurts. It’s so much information all at once, but it’ll be worth it. Even if it’s super exhausting at the moment. 
> 
> Anyhow, I’ll try to get another chapter out as quick as I can to remedy the cliffhanger 🤭

Korra hit the mat with a thud and groan. She laid there for a few breaths after taking her mouth guard out, just staring at the ceiling until Kuvira came into her field of vision. 

“Again,” Korra demanded as she pushed herself back to sitting.

“Dude, we’ve been going at this for a couple hours. You need a break”.

“I don’t need a fucking break!” Korra shouted as she got to her feet and tossed her mouth guard to the mat.

Kuvira easily dodged a sloppy punch thrown her way and crossed her arms. Her friend was working herself to exhaustion to hide... something. She knew the look on Korra’s face.

“Well if you’re not taking a break, I am. Korra, what’s going on?”

An exhausted glare settled on her face. She just wanted to feel something, anything. And she truly felt this was better than everything else she wanted to do. She took another weak swing at Kuvira, who just nonchalantly caught the fist. 

“Korra. Stop. What’s wrong?”

Korra set her jaw in an effort to stop the tears that threatened to well up in her eyes. Kuvira didn’t need to know. Asami knew and that’s all that mattered. At least, mostly knew everything. Some things Korra was keeping a secret.

“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,” she said through gritted teeth as her friend let go of her fist.

She just wanted Kuvira to fight her. To just throw her back to the mat, punch and kick her, knock her out. She just wanted to not feel numb.

“You know that look you had when we first met? The one where all you want to do is drink until you can’t even remember your name? Yeah, you have that look again”.

“Well, Asami won’t let me drink so it doesn’t fucking matter what kind of look I have. Just fucking fight me already! Damn it, Kuv, actually treat me like I’m an opponent and beat me!”

“No. Korra, I’m making you have a meeting. Now”.

“I don’t need a fucking meeting,” she muttered and climbed out of the ring. 

If Kuvira wasn’t going to fight, she’d find someone else. Or something else. She was fine, after all. It was just training. It’s not like she wanted to do anything bad. Not at all.

Korra went to the locker room to decide what she actually wanted. To decide if she would just be safer from herself if she just stayed at the gym for the moment or if she should risk it and go home. Her mind was going back and forth between how worthless she she felt and then how she had a family that loved her. 

_ But why? _

She punched a locker.

_ Asami is so genuine. Of course she loves me. And Nanook’s gonna need me. But.. _

Another punch as she fought off her tears.

_ But what? Am I that undeserving of being happy? I mean, I guess so. She probably doesn’t actually want me... or even like me. _

She slammed both fists into the locker before resting her forehead against it. 

“Oh, just shut the fuck up. You’re not real and don’t know what you’re talking about,” she told the nagging voice in her head.

_ I’ll just end up going back to drugs anyhow. I’ve basically already started. What’s a little bit more? At least I’d feel... something. _

“Shut. Up”. Each word was punctuated with hitting her head against the locker as the tears finally slipped.

“Korra? Where the hell are you?”

“Go away, Kuv! I don’t want to talk or have a meeting or whatever”.

Kuvira followed the direction of her voice and came around the corner. And sure enough, there was Korra with her forehead against the locker, hands on the back of her head and shoulders shaking. 

“And this, this right here, is why I’m not going anywhere. You’re clearly not okay, Korra. Not at all. Have you talked to Asami?”

“She knows.... almost everything. She doesn’t need to know more and you don’t need to know a damn thing”.

Kuvira folded her arms and leaned a shoulder against a separate locker. “You’re using again, aren’t you?”

“What?!” Korra pushed herself from the locker to look at her friend. “N-no! Why... what makes you think that? Nanook doesn’t need a doped up mom. I wouldn’t do that to him! Fuck.. I wouldn’t do that to Asami again!”

“Korra... what is it? If it’s not coke, alcohol, or even heroin, what are you using? And don’t you dare tell me nothing. I know for a damn fact it’s something. You’re slipping again and I don’t want it to get worse. Especially because you have a child”.

Korra set and worked her jaw. Yes, she had a child. But she just wanted to be calm, actually sleep, and not be at war with herself. And here she was. Again bordering on just running back to old habits.

“Korra,” Kuvira demanded. She wasn’t about to let this all happen again.

“Fine! I’m taking a little extra of my meds, okay?! It’s not as bad as it could be. At least I’m actually getting some sleep. Who fucking cares? I’m technically still within the so called target dose”.

“And what does the bottle say?”

Korra fell silent and a hard glare settled on her face. Asami really thought she had her medications hidden well. The fact Korra even found them was a complete accident. And yet, her mind acted faster than she wanted it to and next thing she knew, a second dose was in her system.

“One every 8 to 12 hours,” she finally admitted.

“And how much are you actually taking in those 8 to 12 hours?” 

“I... just... shut the fuck up, Kuv”.

Kuvira blocked Korra from leaving. This was definitely a talk that needed to happen. Especially to keep Korra from losing control. And Kuvira wasn’t going to take no for an answer on this.

“How fucking many, Korra?! I absolutely refuse to let you go down that road again”.

“Two.. sometimes three in that time frame. There. Now just.. fuck off”.

“I’m taking you home. Don’t bother trying to fight me on that”.

“Fuck you”.

______________

Needless to say, Korra ended up really not having a choice. And Kuvira wasn’t about to leave it at dropping her off. She walked with Korra to the front door and followed her inside. She was going to make sure her friend kept her promise in telling Asami. 

“How was prac-“ Asami raised her eyebrow from the couch as Kuvira followed Korra around the corner.

“Just ignore her. Practice was fine”.

Korra gave Asami a quick kiss before kissing Nanook’s nose, smiling back at him when he did. All she wanted was to pretend like her friend wasn’t standing there, waiting for her to confess.

Asami looked to Kuvira while her wife entertained their son, a silent question of ‘what’s going on’ on her lips. Seeing her cross her arms and stare directly at Korra, she had an idea. Either Korra had went to a bar, or worse, and she drug her back home.

“Sweetheart,” she started gently, “do we need to talk?”

Korra’s shoulders slumped before tensing as she stood straight again, letting her fingers linger in Nanook’s hands. Her eyes met the concerned emeralds of her wife and sighed.

“N-no?” She could hear Kuvira clear her throat from behind her. “Fine.. yeah. We probably do”.

“Okay.. so what’s going on? Are you drunk?”

“No, ‘Sami.. I’m not drunk. Just.. wait here”.

“Korra, don’t-“

“Let her have this, Asami,” Kuvira cut in and stepped to the side for Korra to pass by. “She’ll be back in a couple minutes”.

Looking over her shoulder, she caught a middle finger being thrown her way. That middle finger told her that Korra knew she would go hunt her down if she wasn’t back quickly, pill bottles in hand.

“Kuv... what’s going on?”

“I’m stopping her from letting this shit get worse. Don’t be too pissed off with her, alright? I already am for her not telling you about.. this”.

Asami sighed. She knew this wasn’t going to be anything good.

“How... how are you and Baatar doing?” Asami asked to change the subject as she sat Nanook on the floor, letting him use her legs as supports for sitting and desperately trying to stand.

“We’re doing really, really well. I never thought I could... you know”. A smile finally came to her face. 

None of it still made any sense to her. She still wanted to hate her boyfriend for even becoming her boyfriend. And yet, Kuvira still somehow loved the man. 

“Good! Kuv, you deserve him. He’s... so good for you”.

“You have no idea, Asami. He’s always been so caring and.. sweet. And I was always too scared to give him a chance”. Her eyes flicked down to Nanook who was playing with his mother’s toes and giggling at seeminy nothing. “It seems we’ve all grown up a lot. I’m, uh, really happy for you two. Especially after..”

“You can just say it. After Yue, right? Yeah, it all still hurts. But,” Asami tapped her fingers on top of her son’s head, earning a laugh as he tossed his head back to look up at her, “things are actually pretty.. okay. Just... Korra..”

“I know. She’s worrying me too. For good reason. I haven’t seen her look like this in ages. What does she need for closure?”

“All I can think of is a visit with Mako. One where she can just find out everything, scream and cry at him, maybe even rough him up a bit. As for the rest of it... I hate to say it, but maybe having Unalaq executed would finally bring her some peace”.

Kuvira leaned up against the wall. “Maybe some, but the.. depression and PTSD isn’t just going to go away. You know that. We just... we have to get her through this again. Even if I have to beat some sense into her sometimes. Again”.

Asami rolled her eyes with a soft laugh, “it kinda worked before. Just be careful. She’s much stronger than before”.

Korra brushed by Kuvira quietly and held out her three pill bottles to Asami. She didn’t want to say anything or even meet the gaze of her wife. She thought if she looked, there would only be anger looking back. 

“I’m sorry,” she barely whispered, letting Asami take the bottles from her. “I... it was an accident that I even found them. But.. I’ve, uh, been taking a little more of the, um.. new one.. than I should be. So.. I’m sorry, Asami. For not saying anything for the past few days. You can.. hide them again. Somewhere else. But you know to do that. You’re too smart not-“

“Stop”.

Silence hung over the room, save for Nanook’s occasional babbling. Asami knew Korra was just going to keep rambling if she didn’t stop her. Korra thought she was furious. So silence it was. 

Kuvira cleared her throat before breaking the silence, “I can take Nanook into another room for a bit. If you two need a few minutes alone to figure this out”.

“Would you, please?” Asami replied and picked him up to give to Kuvira, eyes never leaving her wife standing before her. 

After their friend left the room, Asami’s expression fell to one of deep concern laced with a small amount of anger. She wasn’t exactly angry with Korra, just that she didn’t come to her with any of this. And then she was also upset with herself for not hiding the medications better. 

“Come here”.

“Asami.. I can just go or whatever. I fucked this up again, didn’t I?”

With a sigh, Asami stood and wrapped Korra into a hug. “No. I don’t want you to go and you didn’t fuck anything up. I’m just.. I’m upset you didn’t come to me”.

“I.. I’m sorry,” her voice caught and she pressed her face to Asami’s shoulder.

“I know it’s hard for you, Kor. I really do. But please, spirits, let me help you”.

Asami pushed Korra back gently and tilted her head up with a couple fingers under her chin. Kuvira was right, the look in her eyes was reminiscent of years past. It both broke Asami’s heart and scared her. With tears in her eyes, she pulled her wife into a soft and slow kiss. A kiss she tried to pour every ounce of love into.

“I love you, Korra,” she whispered against her lips and rested her forehead against hers. “So much that you flat out terrify me sometimes. Kor, sweetheart, I never want to lose you again. Tell me these things. Tell me if I don’t hide pills or alcohol or anything else like that well enough”.

A quiet sniffle came from Korra as Asami held her face gently. 

“Why, Korra? Just.. why?”

She rested her hands at Asami’s hips as she squeezed her eyes shut. Talking about anything surrounding her mental state was extremely difficult, especially when it came to her less than great coping habits.

“I.. wanted to just be relaxed. To.. to sleep. It was stupid. So.. so stupid, Asami. I should have told you”.

Asami pulled Korra close again. She held the back of her head as she buried her face into her shoulder. With her other hand, she rubbed her lower back tenderly. 

“I know this is so hard for you. I’m not... mad at you, just upset you didn’t come to me. Kor, you can confide in me no matter what. Let me hold and comfort you when you’re feeling low or hurting or scared”.

“But,” she she sniffled, “you... we have Nanook to worry about. He need us too”.

“Hey, he’s getting bigger and stronger. He can play on his own and practice his standing and crawling. We’re a family and, damn it, you’re a part of that”.

Korra nodded into her shoulder. She knew she was part of the family her and Asami made. But it didn’t really help that she felt like a bit of a burden, like she was just in the way of having a the happy family she so desperately wanted. 

“I know, I know. It’s.. it’s just that..” she sighed as she fought with actually using her words. “It’s just.. I want this family to be happy. And I feel like I only bring it down. ‘Sami, I’m an addict and alcoholic with all sorts of problems in my head. You and Nanook don’t.. deserve having to deal with that, especially as he gets older”.

“Hey now,” Asami said gently, stepping back slightly and holding Korra’s face, making their eyes meet as she rubbed her cheek with her thumb. “You don’t deserve to feel like.. this. Korra, you’re so loved and wanted. I want you, need you. What does the engraving inside your wedding ring say?”

“B-broken bits and all. Forever,” she whispered.

“Exactly. I mean that, sweetheart. Every part of that. If I felt that I couldn’t handle all of you, do you think I’d be here?”

“N-no,” Korra sighed.

“Okay. So, please... please, love, talk to me about how you’re feeling. Let me help you and comfort you. Let me help fight your demons away”.

Korra suddenly crashed their lips together without warning. Somehow, Asami’s words eased her mind just enough. She slowly slipped her hands under the back of her wife’s shirt, again memorizing every small detail of her lower back. The soft yet strong ridge of muscle along her spine, the slight dimples in the small of her back, how smooth her skin was. She thought she heard a quiet moan, disguised as sigh of contentment against her lips.

Taking it as a sign to continue, she trailed her hands higher up her back slowly, softly caressing every inch as she went. She nipped at Asami’s bottom lip, silently asking for permission as she slid her hands to her stomach. With that permission granted, Korra lightly brushed her tongue against her wife’s, a soft moan coming from them both. 

Asami dipped her fingers below the waistband of Korra’s sweats and pulled her closer. She could feel warm hands trailing up her stomach to cup her breasts over her bra with a soft squeeze. And then she remembered they weren’t alone.

“K-Korra,” she breathed, “we.. we can’t. Kuv.. Kuv is still here”.

“Shit,” she groaned against Asami’s lips. “Later?”

“Possibly,” Asami whispered back, a small smile plying at her lips.

________________

Korra took a deep breath outside of the police station. She was definitely a bit nervous to meet Asami’s father for the first time. Her wife had met her own parents years ago and quickly accepted her as part of her family. Korra could only hope Hiroshi was going do the same for her.

“Ready?”

Turing her gaze to Asami, she adjusted Nanook on her hip and nodded.

“Just.. don’t let him kill me for marrying you without his blessing,” she halfheartedly joked. It was truly a mild fear for her.

“I won’t. He’s going to love you, Kor,” Asami reassured. “You make me happy and that’s all he could ask for”.

“I sure hope so,” she whispered as they made their way into the station and waited for the officers to call them for their visitation.

Once in the room with Hiroshi, Korra tried to smile. The nervousness was simply eating at her. Thoughts of him being angry with her or just overall unhappy with her were running through her head, even as Asami actually gave her father a quick hug.

“Korra, you’re most definitely not the little, chaotic girl I remember tugging on her dad’s hand and tunic,” Hiroshi chuckled.

“I.. uh.. y-yeah,” she stammered. “Might still be a little, um, chaotic at times.. but uh.. I’ve grown up?”

“Indeed you have. Your fighting career has sure gone very well for you”.

Korra nodded and chewed at her lip. She didn’t know what else to say. Everything just felt awkward.

“Well, you sure seem to make my daughter incredibly happy. I have no complaints. And that... must be little Nanook that I’ve heard plenty about”.

Asami folded her arms with a smile, leaning her hip against the table in the room as her wife pointed out Hiroshi to their son and asked if he wanted to see his grandpa. Korra seemed to be feeling a little better on this day, even if it was only just below the surface. It was needed progress after they had a talk a few days prior. A soft laugh came from Asami as Nanook pressed his face into Korra’s shoulder, who in turn apologized to Hiroshi.

“It’s okay, Korra. Kids that age can get some severe stranger danger. And he hasn’t seen me before, so I understand. Anyhow,” he cleared his throat, “Asami, I have someone on the outside I would like you to work with. He and his wife seem to be able to dig up anything about anyone anywhere. I’ve directed the information I’ve obtained around here to him to make copies of and send to you. He goes by Varrick”.

Asami’s heart suddenly sank. Realization hit that she hadn’t yet mentioned anything about rounding up the rest of the Red Lotus by any means to Korra. 

“Uh... what? ‘Sami?”

“I was going to tell you, I really was. I’m.. we’re finishing up the Lotus. I’m so tired of them coming after you and us. My dad’s helping from inside, gathering any info-“

“You’re... what?!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is Korra mad at Asami for not telling her, or is she just scared? 
> 
> Varrick? Coming into the story now? In all seriousness, I wanted to bring him in sooner but just couldn’t figure out how 😅
> 
> And when is Korra gonna see Mako? 😬🤔


	60. This is not an actual chapter

Hey, everyone. Just kinda gonna give you all a bit of an update. 

I had something actually planned for what was supposed to be actual chapter 60. That’s a big number and I’m so, so happy you all have stuck around with me and this story for so long. It means SO much.

The reality of life is... shit happens. I’m still going to try to do everything I can to get the next actual chapter out at some point this weekend, but.. it may take a bit, maybe even into next week.

Not only am I in school for my CDL, my wife and I had to put one of our dogs down this morning (March 3, 2021). She was only 3 years young. She was having seizures for about a year now, about one or two a month with a second one following the initial about an hour or two later. However... this morning around 3am, I heard her go into one so my wife and I got up as normal to take care of her and prepare for the usual second. 

Her seizures would only last for about 10-15 seconds. The fourth one was over a minute. And then she had another on the way to the vet. That’s a total of 5, possibly 6, within a 45 minute period. This caused her to become partially blind and mostly deaf with some brain damage causing loss of coordination and was bumping into everything.

We had to make an extremely hard choice, but it was the best thing we could do for her. She was truly suffering and if we chose to not euthanize her, it would have been so selfish of us. We couldn’t do that to her. 

She is now out of pain and seizure free. 

My wife and I will be grieving for a while, so just bear with me and this story. It is NOT on a hiatus, just going to be much slower than I had originally planned with school. 

Again, thank you all so much for hanging around and being an amazing support system. I love you all. 

Fly high, Nova. Until we meet again. 🕊🌈  
March 3, 2021


	61. Chapter 61

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda a short chapter. And kinda feels like a throwaway, but I’ll let you all decide that.
> 
> This wasn’t exactly what I had planned for the original chapter 60, but at this point I don’t even remember what the original plan was..
> 
> Anyhow, more of a personal update at the end of this cause I don’t want to bore you too much more.
> 
> Hopefully you do end up enjoying this. 🥺

“Hey, babe?” 

“Hm?” 

Asami looked down at the head on her lap instead of watching Nanook crawl towards his toys. Thankfully Korra’s eyes held a tint of curiosity instead of the fear that had been there over the past few weeks.

“That Varrick guy... are you sure he can be trusted?”

“Based on the paperwork I was given, I think so. He seems.. more than ready to, in his words, obliterate the Red Lotus”.

Korra hummed softly. She couldn’t quite figure out how to explain that she knew the family name. It wasn’t exactly a tainted name, just one that led to an economic loss for the tribe due to the son of the family. 

“My dad said that he had recovered an incredibly expensive car that was stolen. It only took him a matter of hours. The model of the car was the only one on the streets, so the loss that was going to hit Future Industries was enormous”. Asami gently ran her fingers through Korra’s hair. “My dad had originally hired him because of his mechanical skills, but became even more impressed with his knack for digging up all sorts of information on anyone”.

Korra furrowed her brow slightly. “Mechanics? And a sleuth? The family was, and still kinda is, a massive shipping company in the South. Is... is his first name Iknik by chance?”

“Yeah. Is that an issue?”

“He caused a loss in our economics,” she sighed. “Idiot tried some big thing that blew up nearly half of his family’s fleet. They ended up disowning him and it seems he found his way here. Just... be careful. His ideas are.. different”.

Asami couldn’t help but chuckle. She still hadn’t met the guy, but the paperwork contained some very clearly erratic ideas.

“I’m sure we’ll be okay, Kor.” She glanced up to see Nanook had sat himself up against a chair to smash a couple blocks together on the floor. “We’re going to start with vetting the media. And then he’s going to dig up some damning proof the attack on the tower was the Lotus. Varrick said he’d probably have it by the end of the week. Do you want to see the papers?”

“Nah. I trust you, babe”.

Korra turned her head and watched their son continue to build small towers just to knock them down with a laugh. Maybe she could find it in herself to trust the Varrick name again. Especially if it meant Nanook and Asami would be safe by the end of this.

She just hoped she wouldn’t have to step in and put a stop to whatever the round up plans are. If Asami seemed to be able to trust him, Korra could put his past aside. 

“You okay, sweetheart?” Asami asked softly, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. 

“I guess. I’m just.. worried”. Korra looked back up into her wife’s stunning emerald eyes. “I don’t want you to get pulled into something you’ll end up regretting. I know how much you hate war-“

“If it’s needed to protect you and Nanook, I don’t care. I’ll do literally anything to keep you both safe. I’m not going to just follow what my dad did, if that’s what you’re worried about. It’s to protect you, love”.

Korra nodded with a sigh. Deep down she knew Asami wouldn’t ever start a war just because she could. Even with this, she wanted to avoid it if at all possible. And if a war were to start, it wouldn’t be because of her. It would be purely defensive.

________________

When Asami had noticed that Varrick was a private investigator, she expected a large office and maybe some other names in the field. Her idea was far from the small hole in the wall with a blue door that had a gold plate reading: Iknik Varrick.

She knocked a bit hesitantly and subconsciously adjusted her footing. Just in case she needed break someone’s face. She trusted Hiroshi wouldn’t put her in grave danger, but the scene was far from formal. Moments later a middle aged woman cracked the door open.

“Asami Sato? Varrick is expecting you. Come”.

Asami followed close behind. The office was the opposite from the outside. It was nearly extravagant. Cherry wood and high end, dark blue upholstery surrounded her. As did a few tapestries that gave away Varrick’s origin from the Southern Tribe. 

“Zhu Li! Some tea for our guest. And myself!” 

“Of course, dear”.

Varrick spun around in his chair as Zhu Li left Asami’s side to gather the requested beverages.

“Ah, Mrs. Sato. We finally meet! Your father speaks highly of you. The way you took his major mistake and flipped it. Not to mention getting hitched with Tonraq’s daughter...” he tapped his chin for a moment. “You’ve certainly done well for yourself! Please, have a seat!”

Asami sat across from him a bit nervously. Korra had said he was a bit eccentric. A bit was just a little bit of an understatement. He just seemed flat out insane.

“What’s your big interest with the Red Lotus? My father had said you were quite eager to jump in on this”.

“Ha! Unalaq did me dirty several times. And by me, I mean my family’s shipping business. So naturally, I wanted to fit our ships with devices to take out those Northern thieves! The plan backfired handsomely and I got disowned and tossed to the side. But now here I am with my amazing wife!”

Zhu Li set a tray with tea and a few baked goods on the desk. 

“Dear, enough about our past,” she said with a smile. “We have some things to attend to”.

“Right!” He kicked his feet up onto his desk after grabbing a cup of tea. “Asami, for this to go how it needs to, I need to know that Korra isn’t secretly still on hard drugs. It could severely cause this all to backfire if she is and-“

“How the hell did you know about that?!” Asami shouted and stood. “She’s been clean for a few years now”.

“The thing, Zhu Li! You see, Asami, I make it my business to know who I’m working with”. He took a file from his wife and handed it to Asami. “I can give you yours as well. It was far too easy to dig up Korra’s past thanks to her ties to Tahno. From there... illegal fights, her change of identity so no one would see her as ‘The Avatar’, the few overdoses, suicide attempts, going back home after you two split for a few years-“

“Enough,” Asami spat and threw the file at him. “I’m here for one reason and one reason only. How the fuck are we going to finish the Lotus?”

“Okay! Okay!” Varrick dropped his feet from his desk and set his tea down to frantically put the papers back into Korra’s file. “No need to get hostile”.

“Then stay the fuck out of Korra’s personal business! She hates that shit as it is with the media. The last thing she needs to know is that some... guy found out everything personal-“

Asami took a step back as Varrick vaulted over his desk and stood over her. 

“Listen here, Sato,” he whispered harshly, holding her chin and pressing his forehead against hers and staring into her eyes. “I know more about the people in this city than you could ever dream of. Your father reached out and hired me to help take care of your little problem. It’s the least I can do to pay him back for everything he’s done for me. Not only that, but Unalaq has a very, very hefty debt to pay. Understood?”

Asami nodded as the man stepped back. Korra said to be careful, and now she could see why. He was calm and calculated to a point it was almost terrifying. How one person could be so erratic yet calm at the same time, she would never know.

“So.. what’s the plan?”

“Vetting the media, of course! Have you not read the documents I sent? I have a few you need to watch for. They’re going to be the ones to try to sabotage you getting the truth out. Zhu Li! Do the thing!”

Just then, Varrick’s wife pushed in a cork board with files and photographs of a few people pinned to it. He was then handed a pen.

As he talked frantically, Asami truly had a hard time following. Why he kept bouncing between the people on the board instead of focusing on one before moving on was beyond her. Sure enough, a couple of the people have been all but flat out stalking Korra. If she was going to pull off a press conference without having a target on her forehead, these people needed to be stopped at the gate. And now she had proof.

“Oh! I’ve also been in contact with Lin. She’s provided me with the.. uh.. thing”. He looked to his wife expectantly. 

“That thing?”

“Yes. Asami needs to know. It was her tower for spirits’ sake!”

Zhu Li provided Varrick with a new, larger file.

“This,” he said proudly while handing the file over to Asami, “is everything you need to know about the attack on Future Industries. It’s all the damning evidence against the Red Lotus you need to talk about at your conference. This... is how we take them down!”

Asami opened the file. She was met with crime scene photographs, incendiary devices marked with some sort of logo, paper after paper detailing everything the media wouldn’t allow. A smirk came to her face. Maybe this was the beginning of the end. Finally.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “Is Tonraq allowed to know? And Korra?”

“Yes and yes. One is your wife, the other holds the fate of Unalaq in his hands. Especially for an attempted assassination of a chief. Who does that?!”

________________

Korra cracked her knuckles and took a deep breath. This was it. Closure. Her mind was soon to be her only enemy. Not the Red Lotus, not Mako. Not after this.

She nodded to Lin. 

“You know you don’t have to do this, kid”.

“Just open the door”.

Lin complied and followed her into the meeting room. She was only requested just in case Korra broke down. And to stop her from killing Mako. She stood by the door after closing it and watched as Korra sat across from the man who robbed her of nearly everything.

“Why are you even here, Korra? I thought you never wanted to see me again”.

“I don’t,” she spat. “What I do want.. is to know why? Why, Mako?!”

He sighed and looked away for a moment. 

“Money. It was for money. I grew up without a family aside from.. my ex-brother. We were dating so it was supposed to be easy. He offered to pay up big time if I could either capture or kill you”.

“Who?”

“Who do you think?! Unalaq. Spirits, you really are a fucking idiot sometimes”.

Something snapped in Korra and all she saw was red. She stood and brought her hand across his face.

“Then why didn’t you just kill me?!”

“It.. would have been too obvious that I was with them had I done that. I was given clearance to push and push until you just gave up and killed yourself. It almost worked”.

“You...” she hissed through gritted teeth. “You knew of my problems so you... you just wanted.. fuck you!”

And other hit to his face, only this time it wasn’t with an open hand. Tears stung at the edge of her eyes. He used her weaknesses against her.

“That’s why you never turned me in for the drugs!”

Another hit.

“You never fucking loved me!”

She grabbed him by the front of his shirt, delivering blow after blow.

“You wanted me to overdose and die! Or just fucking kill myself”.

Before she landed another blow, a dark thought overcame her. And she let herself go. Korra clamped her hand around his throat and just began to squeeze.

“This is for going after Asami, Nanook, and me. I hope the dark spirits make you live through all the pain you inflicted on me, Mako. You’re nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing!”

Moments later, all Mako could do was let out a sharp gasp and cough incessantly. Lin had pulled Korra away and hauled her from the room. She was going to let the beating slide, act as if she never saw it. But she had a duty to stop Korra from simply murdering her ex, regardless of almost wanting to just let it happen.

“Woah, alright. Do you need me to take you home?”

Korra shook her head as she buried her face in her hands.

Lin wasn’t one for affection, especially in public. But she was worried about the woman in front of her. She slowly wrapped an arm around Korra and patted her back as comfortingly as she could. 

“Korra..”

“Please, Lin,” she cried. “Take me home. I.. I don’t trust myself. I’m scared of.. of.. what I would do on the way. Maybe if I had just... done it.. not texted Kuvira that night..”

“Had you done that, you wouldn’t be married to the one who is clearly the love of your life. And you wouldn’t have a son. I know you’re hurting. And what he did to you should have never happened. But look at your life now, kid. Seriously. You’re loved and wanted and that’s what matters. We’re going to put an end to the Lotus soon”.

Korra nodded sadly. Asami hadn’t mentioned Lin was in on it. Maybe she didn’t even know and the police chief let it slip on accident. Whatever it was, it gave Korra something she hadn’t felt for a while. Hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m.. getting by. Some days have been much, much harder than others. I tend to bottle my thoughts and feelings a lot, even if I know how bad it is for me. 
> 
> With my mental health already being not the best, adding on what happened with Nova just sank me lower. With that comes a degree of writer's block and some lack of motivation. 
> 
> There’s still going to be lapses between chapters, but they could be longer than originally planned at times. Just keep bearing with me. I’m doing what I can, when I can. 
> 
> As always, thank you all for being so incredibly supportive. 
> 
> And also, big shoutout to a super close friend of mine for giving me the general ideas for most of this chapter and giving me the needed kick in the ass to actually write.


End file.
